Tag: Family

Meditation 222 ~Inheriting B’s Nine Virgil~

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The Big Game’s Sunday, but I’m not even looking forward to the commercials. And eating? $100.00 doesn’t go so far. But the days I shared with B. And V’s here. If the world remains. Dogs don’t get nine lives. And men. “Inheriting B’s Nine Virgil”

Saturday, February 8, 2025

Meditation 222 ~Inheriting B’s Nine Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I should be running the Squid Games. Or have people living in a Vivarium.

I’m feeling the weight of everything, Lu. I need to turn off the noise, the distractions, because they’re just adding to the heaviness. I need your support. Don’t I always?

Depression is not a good thing. Neither are my decisions. Or my wayward DICtation, Ha!

And speaking of shooting my mouth off or other parts of my anatomy… There is always my Special Drawer. I should say Special Draws… Keep your pants on, right Lunalesca.

If I had, I wouldn’t be so unhappy this morning. My lady, I’m never happy.

Honestly, why should I be? Braxton is gone. Virgil is somewhere else in every sense. Lunalesca, V’s living his one life, which leads to a question. Besides, who do I like more, Cherry or her mum?

How about Tsubaki Miyajima or Sakura? I swear that’s my latest KINK. There’s also whether I call them pigtails or handlebars… I’m going to get all worked up again, Luna.

And I don’t need that. But I just needed to feel something. “A safe home and a warm bed on a quiet little street.” What about a full stomach? I had that via Pizza Hut. But now I only want to vomit. I’m not blaming them. That would be the energy shot I’ve taken, Luna.

Because Every Day Is Exactly the Same. So why not join my son B III. Take it to the bridge, as in the Rainbow Bridge. Virgil needs me, and my schedule is jam-packed with things to do, dearest Lunalesca.

January 31: Braxton Passed Away
February 4: Braxton Was Cremated
February 10: Braxton Was Returned
February 13: Braxton’s Twentieth Birthday
August 13: Virgil’s Gotcha Day
E-Day: Second Worst Day Ever
October 20: Virgil’s Fifth Birthday
Yesterday: The Horror, The Horror
Today: What Did I Do?

Last night, I was thinking about all the months I’d wasted since the last E-Day. And then today started with me lying in the dark. I didn’t whisper the names of my enemies like in Golden Son or Morning Star. But instead, moaning as if there’s Thirteen Women and Only One Man in Town. No. I’m Just A Man with a Special Drawer full of…

Lunalesca, once upon a time, it was Cool Devices. And now? Inheriting B’s Nine Virgil.

1469 Days Without B III, Day 910 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 218 ~Virgil, I’ll B Crying~

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I miss masks. COVID didn’t bother me, as it could have led me to my son. It’s the ability to hide my STUPID smile. I have to laugh and smile. And then I’m at the house crying. Like it’s a law to mourn my son for four years… Virgil, I’ll B Crying

Tuesday, February 4, 2025

Meditation 218 ~Virgil, I’ll B Crying~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Enough to cry on our wedding day. When you gave birth to our children. Braxton…

I’ve cried over my firstborn furry son over a dozen times these past few days. How many more since I’m speaking to you on Sunday, February 2, 2025. And there won’t ever be enough, my love. They can’t ever extinguish the fires of Thursday, February 4, 2021. Love, there is no flood for me to drown in or a storm to traverse that could stop me on the 10th of 2021. It’s when I picked up my son. The remains of him, anyway. Love burns.

Inevitably, someone will say it better… “Love hurts. Love scars. Love wounds and marks,” hmm. But today, I burn, which means I haven’t reached the deepest level of Hell yet. Which I do when “The Man Comes Around” every year.

Again, that date was Sunday, January 31, 2021, when my firstborn son B was collected.

You must be crying at my attempts at prose, poetry, and philosophy for my puppy.

Braxton was fifteen. Thirteen days shy of his sixteenth birthday. Still a puppy to me.

Speaking of things that make this man of yours cry… Because a man ain’t supposed to cry. Recently, I’ve been watching a lot of things about it. Relationships being destroyed.

Men who are seen as weak for one reason or another. I have often repeated Gus Fring/Giancarlo Esposito’s line from the show Breaking Bad. “A man provides.” This is true. I do not try; I do because that is what a man does. But this cost me my firstborn son.

I cry because I did all this work for him. When I worked at the Day Job with all the rage that place instilled in me… Talking about fire, I again cry because I wasted so much of my life in that place. And all of Braxton’s. And now I wouldn’t be caught dead there…

Never, in such a Hell as that place again. Can I cry enough to wipe that place off the map?

I can’t help but be overwhelmed by your beauty and grace. I remember B’s aunt saying that she would leave if her love weren’t crying as she walked down the aisle. But you, my love. You are the one I want by my side through tears, “Joy, and Pain.” Everything.

Would you leave for me crying over Braxton, E-Day, even nothing? Virgil, I’ll B Crying

1465 Days Without B III, Day 906 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 215 ~One, Virgil, B Here~

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The one time… Um, two that I liked going downstairs. When Braxton’s favorite girl and I had a movie night. And then moving things back upstairs for Braxton’s “memorial.” Virgil’s still here. And who am I, Dante or some character? One, Virgil, B Here.

Saturday, February 1, 2025

Meditation 215 ~One, Virgil, B Here~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… So, by this point, I have built Braxton Barks Bradford, a temple mightier than the pyramids.

My son, my shining prince. And who am I, Pharaoh? If I had started earlier, I would have watched The Ten Commandments or Malcolm X last night, Dear Lady Lunalesca.

However, it was the usual day. What is “normal” about my son being euthanized, Luna?

That it happened four years ago. And how did I spend this fourth anniversary? Breathing.

Yes, I woke up to find that was still the case, though I was up till around one this morning.

So how did I spend yesterday? It was standard. I only left once to pick up a burger, fries, and a shake. I shared them with Virgil in honor of Braxton. I cried six times.

Lunalesca, who’s counting. Two meals, four movies, and 1462 Days.

That’s around four years. The fourth anniversary of my Braxton’s loss to the world, Lu.

I can’t help but feel it should have been me. The thought of reaching for that one thing in my nightstand, you know what I mean, it crossed my mind. But then I think, who would be here for Virgil? Was I there for Braxton when he needed me most?

Well, considering Braxton isn’t here anymore… The only mess I almost made was with the second head, recreating Lester Burnham’s shower scene from American Beauty.

Lunalesca, how dare I! But I didn’t finish. I didn’t deserve to. Braxton is DEAD! Lately, there hasn’t been any particular song playing in my head. As you can see, it’s mostly movie quotes. It was tradition for Braxton and I. Our movie nights… Then his aunt came along, too.

Lunalesca, she has her own stuff. Cherry is always writing. And M Anime finally got back to me, but of course, I was fulfilling A Dog’s Purpose. Really? Somehow! Lunalesca.

“So, in all my lives as a dog, here’s what I’ve learned. Have fun, obviously. Whenever possible, find someone to save, and save them. Lick the ones you love. Don’t get all sad-faced about what happened and scrunchy-faced about what could. Just be here now.” From Bailey, A Dog’s Purpose

If I could be so lucky. If only my sons were. But I’ve been stuck in the past with both.

Virgil will have a future if neither one of my heads pops off. If you get my drift. The future:

Black History Month begins today
Feb 4. Braxton was cremated
Feb 10. Braxton was returned
Feb 13. Braxton’s twentieth birthday
Feb 14. M Anime, Valentine?

And let’s not forget where I was this time last year or in 2021. But the one lesson from last night. Be here now… Without Braxton? One, Virgil, B Here

Tale 215 B For Virgil’s Freedom

Gospel 215 Act From Desire Not Insecurity

1462 Days Without B III, Day 903 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 211 ~Virgil On Finding Braxton~

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When I got Virgil, I kept Braxton’s bed away. There was no need. It sits in its usual spot, and Virgil stays away. The scent or spirit of death. V knows B is here. It’s been 4 years, and there are still hairs, toys, and me. Virgil On Finding Braxton.

Tuesday, January 28, 2025

Meditation 211 ~Virgil On Finding Braxton~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But I’m still sleeping with my best friend. You or the dog? You wouldn’t dare.

You know the man you married. I’m just a sucker for pain… And Humiliations Galore. Oh, baby girl, I can tell you about some humiliating days at the Day Job. Then I think of B.

God, my selfishness. But nothing is as humiliating as remembering the day I lost Braxton. I walked in a Dad and walked out a… “I’m not sure what you are now,” I told myself at that moment. A man who euthanized his best friend. Not former. I’ll never accept that.

Even though he passed, goin’ on four long years. And how long have we been married, my love? That’s a dangerous question. “You Oughta Know,” you say. Get over it…

Always and forever, the answer is no. “He’s My Son.”

Braxton Barks Bradford… “Yeah, he’s my son, and that’s my choice.” He will always and forever be. And knowing how I feel about him, you’re still here. “I’m Still Here.”

Somehow, someway Braxton’s Playlist is still growing, so I don’t have to think. I wasn’t thinking four years ago with Gospel 211 “Say The Word Willie.” I swear the crime I thought I’d committed, and a few days later, Braxton would be in a box. My failure and my disgrace.

And this time last year it was Tale 211 “(Sonday) Someday, B, V.” I swear I keep saying “Someday,” my “Sweet Love,” I won’t be calling out for “My Sweet Lord,” my little B III.

He was my very own little god, always and forever.

And you, our kids, and Virgil still find traces of my Braxton everywhere, Baby Doll.

Do you know Braxton would start his day sitting on my head, too? Eww! He just wanted me to wake up. But you… I can’t believe I’m saying this… Love, I’m not in the mood.

Really! This is coming from me. And I was looking up Netorare, Ahegao, and Paizuri.

Because in English, I just want to say I miss my son and “I Think I Love My Wife.” Love?

I do love you. One more time for good measure, always and forever. I’m such a misanthrope. You and I got together to make people for me to love. I found Virgil. But Braxton is here. Virgil On Finding Braxton.

1458 Days Without B III, Day 899 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 208 ~Braxton’s Dead, Virgil’s Dad~

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Seven Days… I wish I’d seen The Ring movie. I’d have followed my Braxton. Seven Days… on Sunday, January 31, 2021, my son would be gone. So, four years later, how do I start today. Dead and Dad are separated by a letter… Braxton’s Dead, Virgil’s Dad

Saturday, January 25, 2025

Meditation 208 ~Braxton’s Dead, Virgil’s Dad~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And if the USA has taught me anything, you don’t have to be a genius, Lunalesca.

If you learn to steal, are found guilty of “SA,” and have the “right” skin tone, i.e., white, well, you too can be President of the United States of America. But why speak on Trump?

Because as I lay in the bedroom’s darkness this morning, I needed something… Horrible, Horrific, and Hateful but truthful. Though Donald Trump still has a ways to go, Lady Lu.

What am I saying? Nothing compares to the passing of my son Braxton Barks Bradford.

No wonder my dreams protected me from that fact last night. I had a dream about the show Squid Game. And Damien Priest was yelling at me about rejecting MAGA. FDT. But also, talk about men I find intimidating Luna; it definitely ain’t Donald Trump.

But back to my firstborn son. At this time last year, I was still talking to my Lost Boy, Lu.

I’ve been reading a lot recently. And that conversation was Tale 208, “Will B Talking, Virgil.” And four years prior, being the selfish man that I am, Lunalesca. On Monday, January 25, 2021, I worked on my rules Gospel 208, “Collective Madness Is Called Sanity.” I was in a rant about sin. Not knowing that I would commit the greatest.

Lunalesca, tell any father that their son they’d sworn to protect, their progeny, my pancake… Braxton would be dead in a week. Kidney Failure and by my own hand. Nope!

But that Sunday, January 31, 2021. You can call it love but betrayal Lunalesca, Treachery.

Do you know why E is not in the grading system A, B, C, D, and F? Lunalesca, I found that E. Braxton had a Dad. THAT’S ME! But add an E, and what do you get… Dead. That doesn’t bode well for Virgil. Is that why I’ve never fully accepted him as my secondborn?

Lunalesca, my latest book, Surviving Pet Death by Gracie Wyatt, isn’t helping. Did any book.

What? I bought it this morning, along with Satan’s Sorority Girls 8. Again, what? Today, it was Kindle Double Points, and I’m putting money in the hands of billionaires. Or watching non-geniuses commit crimes. Sara Malakul Lane’s movie last night…

Lunalesca, it’s safe to say my positivity is officially gone because Braxton’s Dead, Virgil’s Dad?

1455 Days Without B III, Day 896 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 204 ~That’ll B Love Virgil~

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I play this game, “Call me a LEGEND.” It ain’t TikTok. I don’t love or particularly like it now, but I made a fuss when I lost it for a time. That game, TikTok, Facebook, X, Instagram, etc. I love my dog, never Big Brother. FDT! That’ll B Love Virgil

Tuesday, January 21, 2025

Meditation 204 ~That’ll B Love Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And you love me. Braxton does too. What about Virgil? A four-year-old. 892 days here.

Speaking of which, there are four more years of Trump. And this is day two. Well, by the time you read this, it will be. But why do you wait? You wish. And wanting me…

Baby Girl, I’d call you an idiot. And how I know I’ve called you worse. And why is that, my love? Because as the classic goes, “I wanna be living for the love of you.” And in that love, I say the dirtiest, most depraved, and demeaning things. Wicked Will’s tongue and all Baby Doll. And though it turns me on. On Sunday, January 19, 2025, I’m in no mood.

Why? Because people are STUPID, idiotic, effing morons. Today, it’s in the name of love. Like Winston Smith now believed:

“But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother” 1984

Love makes idiots of us all. But I choose to love a dog, my fur child, my firstborn son, B.

But these people are all around us. “It was love at first sight.” All at the push of a button.

My love, this is my bread and butter, and I’m both talking and not about TikTok. Like Thanos on Squid Game, “I’m so effing angry man!” We can’t help when we fall in love, with who or what. Love is love. And short of being Woody Allen, remember his words:

“The heart wants what it wants.” ― from Woody Allen

But in less than twenty-four hours, I watched the USA go from “Equinsu Ocha, Equinsu Ocha” to making Donald Trump a god! Ignorance is strength. But it can become love. Love shouldn’t be like this!

But who are we to talk? I love a good boy; Braxton’s been gone four long years. Ghost and grossness as I keep his ashes, bed, hoody, and the man I will become January 31st. My love, let me count the ways I can say that I love Yabbos. Yours, the women in my businesses, some chick yet to be discovered. I can promise you it won’t be from TikTok.

I love money, land, and power because we have a family. And a man provides for his family. And I give you and our two-legged kids all of my love. Uh, B III and 2-V.

Inevitably, we can say I love monsters too, but mine are myths and mysteries. Mistaking love. That’ll B Love Virgil

1451 Days Without B III, Day 892 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 201 ~Virgil On B’s Ending~

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A bang or a whimper? I’ve seen many an end in forty years. Sometimes, it’s the flick of a finger on the screen. It could be a lawsuit. A moan and release over a brunette. Or my B speaking to my heart, asking, “Why can’t I stay?” Virgil On B’s Ending.

Saturday, January 18, 2025

Meditation 201 ~Virgil On B’s Ending~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I should leave the country for four years or so. Don’t I wish… But

Then again, I wish I didn’t need to leave the house. That would be at the top of Virgil’s wish list. And I’m sure that Braxton would approve. But what else is new? My revelation?

Yesterday, while I was shopping… And because of both my phone issues and my earwax. Eww! I know Lady Lunalesca. Anyway, I was left to my thoughts. Were they positive?

I thought about Braxton and my partnership and why we got along so well… Lunalesca. Braxton and I both hate people. And so I’m walking around thinking of this. Uh…

We need a new plague, Lady Lunalesca, with Trump about to be back in office; who knows. But that’s another story, and I thought I was trying to be positive. The thought of Trump’s return and the state of the world can be overwhelming sometimes.

Positive! You’re gonna be positive! But that’s just it, Lady Lunalesca. I was standing there in Walmart, overcome by such rage for humanity. And I remembered that Braxton felt the same way. And to think Braxton passed away because of my indifference. I hid rage. Not at him, of course. And it’s the same thing with Virgil. Only replace ANGER with FEAR. Braxton and I balanced each other. But the fact that I can endure such horror with Virgil. Think of it, Lady Lunalesca. How strong must Virgil and I be to continue to exist?

Even when I’m lost in a maze of confusion. When life is a costly affair? When some pretty brunette fills me with carnal desire? I swear my streak of checks notes of one day nearly ended just this morning, Lunalesca.

Could I give a specific part of my anatomy a rest for the next two weeks? In honor of B

Lunalesca, am I meant to end my days in this bed mourning Braxton Barks forever. I’ve been thinking about Braxton’s ending. Oh, and not Yevgeny Zamyatin’s “WE.” I finished that this morning and had to look up the plot because… What the eff, Lady Lu.

I thought about starting Satan’s Sorority Girls 8. On the grounds, I was reading an Eric Vall book when B III left me. Lunalesca, I could do that next week. But my lady, the end is yet to come. Several…

Well, TikTok’s end is Sunday, January 19, 2025. And Trump’s in power the day after. Lunalesca, Braxton’s passing was the 31st. Virgil On B’s Ending

1448 Days Without B III, Day 889 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 197 ~Braxton Souled Out Virgil~

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Before Braxton took his big trip to The Rainbow Bridge, he had a look saying, Heaven isn’t so great. So I asked for him. Reincarnated? He’s not Virgil. As a Dad, I was spoiled for 15 years. But who am I? Where’s B’s stepmom? Braxton Souled Out Virgil

Tuesday, January 14, 2025

Meditation 197 ~Braxton Souled Out Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And “If This World Were Mine.” Come now, love. What day doesn’t begin with music?

If anything, it begins with “Easy Street.” Then bring in some Cheryl Lynn and Luther Vandross. From there, it’s A Cruel Angel’s Thesis, the opening theme for the Evangelion series. Though, what I wouldn’t give to go back to those 3 AM mornings of Inuyasha.

Fukai Mori? My love, my life, you know that I love you. But tell me I could go back. Let me, let me wake up to that piece of music. And peace of mind. Not in this 40-year-old form of mine. The spoiled boy that I don’t ever want to see again. Yet, I’m still him in some way. Hell, that’s my life’s goal. To wake up without pain or in the pursuit of pleasure.

Your pus**? Or wanting power.

But in peace. What is peace? Here’s a better question? Darling, what peace I’ve lost…

Selling out? To provide for my FAMILY… Could I have my best FRIEND back? Because I like to watch people… Uh, Eff? It doesn’t bother me. Not even slightly, my Darling. I have been blessed. And if it cost me my soul? If I am to become a FIEND, whatever…

I was reading last night and had a revelation, an epiphany, and some ideas. I’m not doing Yevgeny Zamyatin’s “We” justice. Sorry… Anyway, he was talking about having a soul…

Forming… And this is as negative as I will be today. But when I sent Braxton to The Rainbow Bridge, it was because of kidney failure. But my boy’s heart…

Mine remains these 4 years later inscrutably broken. But to love as Braxton did love.

Having such a heart as he gave me. And then there’s having my soul returned. Darling, I have no thoughts of getting into Heaven. But I have thought it, seen and heard it in you.

A man sells off pieces of himself. And what does he get in return for such a sacrifice, my love? THEY say a man provides for his family. “That is the way of things,” always.

Jem’Hadar? Really! Love you married a man who continually pimps himself as a pop culture so-and-so. Who delights in adult pleasures? And plays music at all hours. Tell me why? The world, my love. And everything in it. Love and peace! Braxton Souled Out Virgil.

1444 Days Without B III, Day 885 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 194 ~Braxton, Virgil, Button Up~

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I should buy Braxton and Virgil coats and little boots. B III would have taken one of my hands. And 2-V would be as confused as ever. What about myself? My mouth, pants, wallet, and computer. Buttons and locks. “Braxton, Virgil, Button Up.”

Saturday, January 11, 2025

Meditation 194 ~Braxton, Virgil, Button Up~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Which means I live somewhere that’s warm… And preferably green. A modern-day Eden. My own Elysium.

Is there anything wrong with singing “Throw The Covers” over me? Is that not positive? One doesn’t always have to be working to have a positive experience in this life…

Though my Dearest Lady Lunalesca, Will Smith had the right idea. I believe it goes:

“If you’re not making someone else’s life better, then you’re wasting your time.”
Will Smith

Of course, that was my son Braxton and now Virgil. But I couldn’t save him from the heat. And now the snow. We’re not freezing. If only the temperature were the only issue right now.

Nowadays, it’s money. If only there was some sort of lock for my wallet, bank account, and wherever else I have cash. I did have hundreds in a cookie tin and the Death Star, ha.

When the Man Comes Around? That man is my father…

Don’t I want to be positive? I’ve got my son, who’s been gone almost four years. And my father, who is very much alive and pays my bills. And what do I want, Lady Lunalesca?

I want to unbutton my pants for a girl on OnlyFans. It’s saying things like that, which is costing me friends. Or repeating The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. That’s today…

https://onlyfans.com/1481875569/willyswants

I could spend hours looking that up. Oh, besides researching Mia Rose and Lorena Sanchez? For the record, T*** Eff Holes 6. And there was talking to M Anime, Lunalesca.

Nightmare At The Meat Market. I swear the only thing that has me both unbuttoning my pants and, at the same time, pushing buttons in the right direction. For what?

So I don’t have to worry. As long as I’m doing anything positive… we gon’ be alright. Ha. Remaining positive.

And speaking of “We.” That’s what I was reading this morning. The house is falling apart, sure. But Trump and the next four years… As long as no one accuses me of trying to eat Virgil. I’m nowhere near the best person, Lunalesca. Self-awareness is a positive. Don’t you think?

Lunalesca, I’m also supposed to be getting some new equipment. Again, anything to keep me busy. The promise to M Anime to send her more of her nightmarish tale. Sigh.

Lunalesca, if I could button up everything… And become indifferent once more. Uh, B III? The world is getting colder. I know my destination. 9th Circle. Braxton, Virgil, Button Up.

1441 Days Without B III, Day 882 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 190 ~Heading B’s Way Virgil~

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So many things are happening in my head that I forgot my “Resolutions.” And if I try to relax, the other head is worse… Eww! Where is the Queen of Hearts, The Red Queen, or Cherry? And it might snow, too? Another worry. “Heading B’s Way Virgil.”

Tuesday, January 7, 2025

Meditation 190 ~Heading B’s Way Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Is it with the type of love that my Braxton had for me? That love…

If this is the kind of love that my mom used to warn me about
Man, I’m in trouble
I’m in real big trouble ―

Wyclef Jean said it better than I ever could. And Braxton never said a word. Yet I believe he sends me these songs and words. Like you could say, I’m Insane in the Membrane. Ha!

Then again, I’ve always said I’ll take physical pain over mental mischief. My head hurts!

Because yesterday… And I’m remaining “positive.” But my love, I’m only speaking the truth. Yesterday was a terrible day for my mental health. I went from falling back asleep to looking at myself in the mirror and wondering… How did Socrates do it? Uh, Hemlock.

I was so exhausted that I was praying for some accident. Yes, women are dangerous.

Before heading to bed, I spent most of the night looking up… Stuff And Thangs?

Not my own or some beautiful girls’ Yabbos. Our “home” is for you, my lovely wife, and any “partners.” I’m still researching that option. But last night I was looking for things… Like I keep in the nightstand. Russian Roulette type… Stop watching Squid Game.

Only the finale remains. But that’s not the reason I’m fighting hard to stay positive. It’s like that time I read Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret. It was supposed to bring positivity. But somehow, I got triggered by a wave of negativity that swept over me. It was like a storm in my mind, overwhelming. Overstimulating?

Having two heads, my love… Or is it I’m wearing too many hats? It could be, as THEY say. Heavy the head that wears the crown. And I want my crown. For you, ours, Braxton…

Darling, I won’t credit Braxton with “You Can Leave Your Hat On.” Ha-ha. Would I make you my Kyrie Canaan or Lady Dimitrescu, my love? I swear, like most men, I have to blow one head to clear the other. And after that joy, well, what comes next… Both figuratively and literally… Eww! And is that a positive thing? Making Love. Getting Off. Saying hi to my monster. I didn’t do that yesterday. If anything, my love, honestly. It’s just…

Yesterday, I felt like a victim. And I was tired of running. I’m losing my head one way or another. But it’s a cold, cruel, coming to an end type of world. Braxton needs company…

But as a Husband, Father, and Friend. Whatever else, love. I understand the importance of emotional connection. I’m committed to being there for you, my love, and I hope you’ll be there for me too as we navigate life’s challenges together. Heading B’s Way Virgil

1437 Days Without B III, Day 878 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will