Tag: Family

Meditation 243 ~I WARMED Braxton, Virgil~

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How hot is this computer with the writing I’ve been doing? There’s women… Anime and REAL… And I worry with every push of a button or beep. But when did I get the Wi-Fi fixed? And how much money am I burning? Living sucks… “I WARMED Braxton, Virgil”

Saturday, March 1, 2025

Meditation 243 ~I WARMED Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now—or I promised my Braxton I would be someday—1490 Days ago. But my money’s looking…

Let’s say the money is burning a hole through my pocket. But that’s not what has me heated today. I’ve been hot since Thursday. And it’s not at me this time, for my B III.

It is my greatest sin what happened to him. But give me one bad person, and that’s four days of my life ruined until I confront them… If I choose to do dear Lady Lunalesca.

My Braxton was a force of nature, like a dinosaur… And my problems were like those big asteroids. Ha-Ha. I still remember back in 2021, the very week he left me, I was in a rage from the Day Job. Lady Lunalesca, all I could do was wrap Braxton up, hold him close, and sleep. I’ll spare Virgil. But you?

You get to hear about one of my managers. So, I was leaving the Day Job on Thursday, February 27, 2025, and saw her standing there. I did two training videos due the next day, with a third that wasn’t urgent, to which another manager agreed to let me skip. But even then, the Day Job found a way to frustrate me. No shocker, huh?

When the manager I saw asked about the videos, I told her what I had done. And even when I told her the dates of the videos I’d completed, she was downright rude. Lunalesca… sigh.

I’ll be thinking about her nasty attitude and orders for the rest of the weekend. Well, that’s a lie, isn’t it? I don’t have Braxton to cuddle with, and Virgil and I are still. Whatever.

Lunalesca, the things I do…

Didn’t I say I wasn’t mad at myself? But the Day Job has a way of making me feel guilty. What better way is there to cool off Than watching a model strike a pose to Young Mooski’s Purge Siren [Instrumental]. It’s how the model moves her long brunette locks.

Anyway, add pictures of Cherry’s yabbos… almost. And a pretty Irish lass and then, uh…

Such a pretty mess, and I’m cleaning the bedsheets. This morning isn’t helping because such and such a person sent a photo of Sakura Miyajima, meaning I sent her videos.

So, between sin, anger, and girls, what else warms me up? Friends I need to talk to. And what food can I get within my budget? I WARMED Braxton, Virgil.

1490 Days Without B III, Day 931 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 239 ~Lawn Night B, V~

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So one day, I’ll say the Neighbors Know My Name, and my wife will issue an apology. Ha-Ha! Or V will be having too much fun outside. Or my kids will come running before the street lights come on. Or I’ll become handier fixing things. Lawn Night B, V.

Tuesday, February 25, 2025

Meditation 239 ~Lawn Night B, V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Always and forever. But no, I’m not that old yet; confusing lawn and long, love.

It’s just my kids are out there. Our kids? But I will always love my lost little Braxton. And Virgil’s here… Nothing will spirit him away in the night. Am I old enough to tell kids to get off my lawn yet? With our billions, I intend to have security. I promised Braxton a yard so big a long time ago, my dear baby doll.

Virgil will someday guard it. If he’s anything like my firstborn son. He’ll be by my side as our two-legged progeny head out on first dates, to proms, and graduations. They will always have a home to return to everywhere they go. Sometimes, I forget about words like home. It means I want to be a better man, my love. After B and V… ha

I may not be the funniest or the handiest, but I am here for you in every way I can be my sweet baby doll.

This is why I’m standing out in the yard at 10 PM waiting for the repair guy, and I’m mad as Hell. I can think of other ways to spend our nights… If you catch my drift. Don’t worry; I’m getting to that. But allow me to be scared for the moment. I was afraid all of last week, and this one isn’t looking any better. It’s like going out drinking, clubbing, or some other nonsense. And I’ve had some bad nights, my love. And I survived. But why? I’m scared because I want to provide the best for us, and sometimes, I’m unsure if I’m doing enough. I try…

To create the Garden of Eden for you? You married me, so there isn’t much an apple can do. And as far as a serpent… I’m writing about mine or reading about Robyn with Grayson’s.

Agatha, Tasha, Julia, Fiona, Chrissy, Willow etc. Grayson has quite the harem in Satan’s Sorority Girls. I was reading #9. And speaking of what I’m reading, there is a book by Tillie Cole called Sick F*X. If I weren’t waiting for someone not worth our cash, I’d love to take you to the song “Dusk Till Dawn.” One of my favorite scenes of Tillie Cole’s…

Exhibitionism? Or relatively the risk of it. We could cuddle together on the beach, love. Right now? I would rather be in bed with you listening to The Quiet Storm now that I’m a grown man and know what that music means. All to wake up with you and listen to apocalyptic oldies. But tonight’s long. Lawn Night B, V

1486 Days Without B III, Day 927 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 236 ~Braxton, Virgil, Forward, Mush~

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Since M Anime isn’t mad at me, I can share one of my dreams with her. What every woman needs, snow, a survival kit, and lingerie I want to see her in. And with that heat, dirty tales, and humiliation. I should go. Braxton, Virgil, Forward, Mush.

Saturday, February 22, 2025

Meditation 236 ~Braxton, Virgil, Forward, Mush~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I live in California, Florida, or somewhere tropical. Hot! Anywhere, “adult entertainment” is plentiful.

Lofty dreams for a Southern man. But do you see how easy it is to have a vision, a dream, Lady Lunalesca? To have a goal or make a plan… I have… I had plenty for this year of my existence. You know, the year I expected to lose my Braxton. He would’ve been twenty.

And while there were tears for him last night. Finally! I was more or less crying for other things. FEAR! And it’s not of this moment of sitting here waiting for somebody to post on X so I can send videos of checks my notes Reina Kurashiki. How about asking why I can’t be Johnny Sins? I weep not only for the future but mine. How do I move forward?

I had a dream last night. I was crying from embarrassment, a feeling that has become all too familiar. In the dream, I found myself in the movie Vivarium, a place of confinement and repetition. It’s a mock universe. But in my version, I was digging upwards, desperate for escape.

Flinging my shovel in the open air, I found dirt. But I could only reach so far without the ability to fly. You know how people talk about the hill they’ll die on. Well, Lunalesca…

I started packing a hill under my feet. But it wasn’t with grave dirt. My son Braxton’s ashes provided the foundation. Then came the ashes from my books. Grossest words…

Yes, I was crying about that being broadcast on X/Twitter. It’s my fault. Forgive me! But in my dream, I was not just crying about the exposure. I was also burning my secrets, the things I’ve kept hidden and buried. The act of burning them was both liberating and terrifying, as it unlocked a new fear within me. Thanks, Norton!

But the heart of the matter is this: I was creating a Hell to carry me to Heaven. It’s a paradox, a contradiction that reflects the madness of my current state. I’m trying to find a way out of my pain, but in doing so, I’m only creating more suffering.

And while I am not a man of faith, I heard an angel’s words. “He is not here, for he has risen.” And instead of the Lips Of An Angel, I heard the song I’ve Got Heaven Right Here On Earth. And don’t I, Lady Lunalesca? I’m cold, a coward; what about a cuck… Right.

No wonder I dreamt about fire. And with that, I cried all the more. The fire remained ash and snow. Black and white… V? But B was beside him, and I ordered them both… Mush!

Where am I going? I don’t know. I’m always afraid. But… Braxton, Virgil, Forward, Mush!

1483 Days Without B III, Day 924 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 232 ~Rooms B Through V~

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My biggest fear… Nope! I lost my son. But I fear drowning, too. With so many tears and how much rage? And with desires raining like humiliations galore. Uh, working? But fear. At least the house’s not flooding… Again. Rooms B Through V

Tuesday, February 18, 2025

Meditation 232 ~Rooms B Through V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And if only that love were as easy as saying, “Braxton, Virgil, and others, Bedtime!”

D.L. Hughley once warned that the kids would walk in on us. You realize that. It was something to that effect. And did I think of our two-legged children before Braxton or Virgil? If only you knew how I protected B III and 2-V. But today, “What About Us,” love.

No, that’s not the song I heard you singing around 2 AM this morning. And I won’t attribute this to my son. My love, this is all you. It was Lykke Li’s “I Follow Rivers.”

The song has been stuck in my head all morning, and I’m trying to figure out where I heard it. Besides your lovely voice, it was also in an episode of Glee I watched before.

But you? In my head?

“‘Tis you floating around my head, my Godqueen.”
― Clarence, The Book of Clarence (2024)

Do you consider that a miracle? Now, if you could only listen, hear, and understand. Dreams have meanings. I’m always saying that to M Anime. So what about that song? For a few days now, I have been cried out over Braxton. To go from his birthday on the 13th to a “Lovely Day” on the 14th. Joy and pain are like sunshine and rain. Right? It’s going from the day I first found love to honoring our passion for each other, my baby doll.

However, the problem remains that my heart is still broken. Again, there’s the song “I Follow Rivers.” You follow my tears, sweat, and blood down.

Down, down, down, into places you should not see. Do those places include where the Bisquick comes from and gave us our other kids? How many bedrooms do we have?

And I’ve said I’m more of a man for a Study rather than a Man Cave. But there’s also the Library, The Red Room or Black. There is the room, a temple to honor my Braxton. I wasn’t kidding when I said I would build that. And V may one day join him. 920 days.

Only the meaning of my dream. It is that the tears, desires, sweat, and toil you experience follow me. Overflowing. And I am like the ocean. You’re filling me up, blowing me up with your love. Rooms B Through V.

1479 Days Without B III, Day 920 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 229 ~B’s For Blame Virgil~

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B is for a big mouth. Maybe I should say F for my effing fingers. So… How did V-Day go? Forgiving the fact that the 13th was B’s 20th birthday. The fight I had with Adore Me over M Anime’s gift. And her not talking to me… B’s For Blame Virgil.

Saturday, February 15, 2025

Meditation 229 ~B’s For Blame Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I am guiltless. Cast in the name of God. Ye not Guilty, Lady Lunalesca.

For what? “The Big O” from last night? And that wasn’t even with M Anime. But for the record, she did get me all hot and bothered. And the next thing you know, I’m spilling all over that girl Mei from Overwatch. She’s so much like M Anime, Lady Lunalesca.

But we’ll get to that. What about my boys, my boys! Braxton’s gone, and speaking of spilling… Virgil decided to puke all over the bed, giving me another reason to change the sheets. Next thing you know, I’m kicking him out because I believe he wasn’t sick at all. Anxiety? I can relate. I’ve been frazzled all morning. But I’m not grieving for my Braxton.

Braxton’s gone. Virgil’s not due for a check-up until April.

But if something happens to Virgil before then… What am I supposed to say, Lunalesca?

I’ve got “Faith of The Heart.” I had that for Braxton. And he didn’t live to see his twentieth birthday. And didn’t I say I would stop blaming myself for Braxton being gone? Never Acceptance.

Once again, it’s the fifteenth, and I haven’t cried for Braxton once today. But whenever I’m in pain, I think of the worst crime I ever committed. Seriously, Lunalesca, Gale had Katniss kiss him when he was in pain. All I have is the memory of the son that I failed. But wait, there’s more! I can blame myself for everything, but Luna, do I look a thing like Jesus?

Lunalesca, I talk like a gentleman, like you imagine “When You Were Young.” I’m forty.

So what mistake did this forty-year-old make yesterday with my Valentine? Takes a breath I started the morning with a good morning text and hoped she’d have a “Lovely Day.” I sent her a couple of songs and then asked her permission to show her picture, you know, take a look at my “girlfriend,” and all. She said she was bashful, so I didn’t. She spent most of the day ranting about everything: the IRS, exploitive management, and such. You know I’m one for ranting and complaining, dear Lady Lunalesca.

Plus, my type is the broken doll or the prettiest doll I want to break. Anyway, I bought her a survival kit, which is her thing. And some lingerie, which is my thing, but she suggested what she wanted. I read about this nightmare she had. Who am I to talk? I turned Nightmare At The Meat Market into a 50,000-word novel inspired by her nightmares. In the evening, we talked about dinner and the different anime we watched as children. We also talked about culture and languages. And then, Lady Lunalesca. Here we go.

Breathes, I brought up my friends. M Anime is Puerto Rican. But there’s Cherry who’s an English girl and white. Awesome melons! I didn’t say that part. There’s Braxton’s Aunt, who’s Black Girl magic personified. And then I said if I had an Asian girl and a lesbian friend, I’d be set… And I haven’t heard from M Anime since. So now what, Lady Luna?

“Sorry, Blame It On Me.” I even tried to use that line from Kanye West to explain it a bit:

“My favorite girl wanna leave me just because I got a girlfriend
My freak girl told me now she a Christian
My white girl wanna move back to Michigan
I’m pulling girls off the bench like a sixth man” ―

And I texted M Anime this morning asking if she was upset. That’s Valentine’s Day.

For all I know, I did nothing. But I blame myself for everything. And if I messed up, the likelihood of Braxton getting a stepmom… But B’s For Blame Virgil?

1476 Days Without B III, Day 917 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 225 ~Heel B, Heal V~

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Chains and whips excite me. But I would give it up to put Braxton’s leash on him and go walk. Or finally, give V a collar and tags with his name on them. And I wish all their barking wasn’t drowned out by the noise. MAGA and moaning. “Heel B, Heal V”

Tuesday, February 11, 2025

Meditation 225 ~Heel B, Heal V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? As selfish as I am. My love, I am capable of such. But me first…

I should give the Adult Channels a rest. Not for the more apparent reasons, darling.

Locking the door to keep V and the two-legged kids out and such. No one wants to see how the sausage gets made or where it goes. Did I mention making money on my OF?

But if the two of us were together my sweet love, I would share my interests, fetishes, and kinkiness with you openly and without reservation.

No! I want to sign off because, like everything I do, it comes back to my son. Braxton? From the 31st to the 15th of this month, I’m always angry and depressed, like Mr. Grumpy Pants. If I can keep my pants on with Friday being Valentine’s Day. Thursday’s Braxton’s birthday. So you and me?

And her and her, simultaneously…

That’s a South Park joke. But here I am, making jokes instead of letting the dead rest in peace. Or how about embracing the living. Four years is not enough. It will never be, love.

But speaking about four years… Again, with the Adult Situations. I still find it WEIRD. Love, I see such desires, passions, and intimate moments, and suddenly, Trump AD, Maga, Elon Musk, etc. That makes me feel like a horrible human being. Well, after my B.

Braxton is still around, and then again, he’s not. Only his remains. In a box on the nightstand. And he ain’t leaving. Neither is Virgil. But as I eternally mourn the dead, how can I name the living. Some days, I don’t say Virgil’s name.

And with my two furry sons… One “shining down on me from Heaven.” The other howling at the door. I just want to say, “Stop crying your heart out.” I see B III everywhere. Virgil’s voice is in my ears. Only there’s you, my love, my life. Lovely, Beautiful Freak.

What am I to do with you? Things you can tell your dog but not your girlfriend/wife. I know what I want, and you’ll have to forgive me for using another song… Stay With Me.

I can think of several things we could do on our knees or in bed. Only these days do I seek out the most depraved. If not, downright criminal. Why? Like my two boys, I can’t… Heel B, Heal V

1472 Days Without B III, Day 913 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 222 ~Inheriting B’s Nine Virgil~

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The Big Game’s Sunday, but I’m not even looking forward to the commercials. And eating? $100.00 doesn’t go so far. But the days I shared with B. And V’s here. If the world remains. Dogs don’t get nine lives. And men. “Inheriting B’s Nine Virgil”

Saturday, February 8, 2025

Meditation 222 ~Inheriting B’s Nine Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I should be running the Squid Games. Or have people living in a Vivarium.

I’m feeling the weight of everything, Lu. I need to turn off the noise, the distractions, because they’re just adding to the heaviness. I need your support. Don’t I always?

Depression is not a good thing. Neither are my decisions. Or my wayward DICtation, Ha!

And speaking of shooting my mouth off or other parts of my anatomy… There is always my Special Drawer. I should say Special Draws… Keep your pants on, right Lunalesca.

If I had, I wouldn’t be so unhappy this morning. My lady, I’m never happy.

Honestly, why should I be? Braxton is gone. Virgil is somewhere else in every sense. Lunalesca, V’s living his one life, which leads to a question. Besides, who do I like more, Cherry or her mum?

How about Tsubaki Miyajima or Sakura? I swear that’s my latest KINK. There’s also whether I call them pigtails or handlebars… I’m going to get all worked up again, Luna.

And I don’t need that. But I just needed to feel something. “A safe home and a warm bed on a quiet little street.” What about a full stomach? I had that via Pizza Hut. But now I only want to vomit. I’m not blaming them. That would be the energy shot I’ve taken, Luna.

Because Every Day Is Exactly the Same. So why not join my son B III. Take it to the bridge, as in the Rainbow Bridge. Virgil needs me, and my schedule is jam-packed with things to do, dearest Lunalesca.

January 31: Braxton Passed Away
February 4: Braxton Was Cremated
February 10: Braxton Was Returned
February 13: Braxton’s Twentieth Birthday
August 13: Virgil’s Gotcha Day
E-Day: Second Worst Day Ever
October 20: Virgil’s Fifth Birthday
Yesterday: The Horror, The Horror
Today: What Did I Do?

Last night, I was thinking about all the months I’d wasted since the last E-Day. And then today started with me lying in the dark. I didn’t whisper the names of my enemies like in Golden Son or Morning Star. But instead, moaning as if there’s Thirteen Women and Only One Man in Town. No. I’m Just A Man with a Special Drawer full of…

Lunalesca, once upon a time, it was Cool Devices. And now? Inheriting B’s Nine Virgil.

1469 Days Without B III, Day 910 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 218 ~Virgil, I’ll B Crying~

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I miss masks. COVID didn’t bother me, as it could have led me to my son. It’s the ability to hide my STUPID smile. I have to laugh and smile. And then I’m at the house crying. Like it’s a law to mourn my son for four years… Virgil, I’ll B Crying

Tuesday, February 4, 2025

Meditation 218 ~Virgil, I’ll B Crying~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Enough to cry on our wedding day. When you gave birth to our children. Braxton…

I’ve cried over my firstborn furry son over a dozen times these past few days. How many more since I’m speaking to you on Sunday, February 2, 2025. And there won’t ever be enough, my love. They can’t ever extinguish the fires of Thursday, February 4, 2021. Love, there is no flood for me to drown in or a storm to traverse that could stop me on the 10th of 2021. It’s when I picked up my son. The remains of him, anyway. Love burns.

Inevitably, someone will say it better… “Love hurts. Love scars. Love wounds and marks,” hmm. But today, I burn, which means I haven’t reached the deepest level of Hell yet. Which I do when “The Man Comes Around” every year.

Again, that date was Sunday, January 31, 2021, when my firstborn son B was collected.

You must be crying at my attempts at prose, poetry, and philosophy for my puppy.

Braxton was fifteen. Thirteen days shy of his sixteenth birthday. Still a puppy to me.

Speaking of things that make this man of yours cry… Because a man ain’t supposed to cry. Recently, I’ve been watching a lot of things about it. Relationships being destroyed.

Men who are seen as weak for one reason or another. I have often repeated Gus Fring/Giancarlo Esposito’s line from the show Breaking Bad. “A man provides.” This is true. I do not try; I do because that is what a man does. But this cost me my firstborn son.

I cry because I did all this work for him. When I worked at the Day Job with all the rage that place instilled in me… Talking about fire, I again cry because I wasted so much of my life in that place. And all of Braxton’s. And now I wouldn’t be caught dead there…

Never, in such a Hell as that place again. Can I cry enough to wipe that place off the map?

I can’t help but be overwhelmed by your beauty and grace. I remember B’s aunt saying that she would leave if her love weren’t crying as she walked down the aisle. But you, my love. You are the one I want by my side through tears, “Joy, and Pain.” Everything.

Would you leave for me crying over Braxton, E-Day, even nothing? Virgil, I’ll B Crying

1465 Days Without B III, Day 906 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 215 ~One, Virgil, B Here~

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The one time… Um, two that I liked going downstairs. When Braxton’s favorite girl and I had a movie night. And then moving things back upstairs for Braxton’s “memorial.” Virgil’s still here. And who am I, Dante or some character? One, Virgil, B Here.

Saturday, February 1, 2025

Meditation 215 ~One, Virgil, B Here~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… So, by this point, I have built Braxton Barks Bradford, a temple mightier than the pyramids.

My son, my shining prince. And who am I, Pharaoh? If I had started earlier, I would have watched The Ten Commandments or Malcolm X last night, Dear Lady Lunalesca.

However, it was the usual day. What is “normal” about my son being euthanized, Luna?

That it happened four years ago. And how did I spend this fourth anniversary? Breathing.

Yes, I woke up to find that was still the case, though I was up till around one this morning.

So how did I spend yesterday? It was standard. I only left once to pick up a burger, fries, and a shake. I shared them with Virgil in honor of Braxton. I cried six times.

Lunalesca, who’s counting. Two meals, four movies, and 1462 Days.

That’s around four years. The fourth anniversary of my Braxton’s loss to the world, Lu.

I can’t help but feel it should have been me. The thought of reaching for that one thing in my nightstand, you know what I mean, it crossed my mind. But then I think, who would be here for Virgil? Was I there for Braxton when he needed me most?

Well, considering Braxton isn’t here anymore… The only mess I almost made was with the second head, recreating Lester Burnham’s shower scene from American Beauty.

Lunalesca, how dare I! But I didn’t finish. I didn’t deserve to. Braxton is DEAD! Lately, there hasn’t been any particular song playing in my head. As you can see, it’s mostly movie quotes. It was tradition for Braxton and I. Our movie nights… Then his aunt came along, too.

Lunalesca, she has her own stuff. Cherry is always writing. And M Anime finally got back to me, but of course, I was fulfilling A Dog’s Purpose. Really? Somehow! Lunalesca.

“So, in all my lives as a dog, here’s what I’ve learned. Have fun, obviously. Whenever possible, find someone to save, and save them. Lick the ones you love. Don’t get all sad-faced about what happened and scrunchy-faced about what could. Just be here now.” From Bailey, A Dog’s Purpose

If I could be so lucky. If only my sons were. But I’ve been stuck in the past with both.

Virgil will have a future if neither one of my heads pops off. If you get my drift. The future:

Black History Month begins today
Feb 4. Braxton was cremated
Feb 10. Braxton was returned
Feb 13. Braxton’s twentieth birthday
Feb 14. M Anime, Valentine?

And let’s not forget where I was this time last year or in 2021. But the one lesson from last night. Be here now… Without Braxton? One, Virgil, B Here

Tale 215 B For Virgil’s Freedom

Gospel 215 Act From Desire Not Insecurity

1462 Days Without B III, Day 903 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 211 ~Virgil On Finding Braxton~

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When I got Virgil, I kept Braxton’s bed away. There was no need. It sits in its usual spot, and Virgil stays away. The scent or spirit of death. V knows B is here. It’s been 4 years, and there are still hairs, toys, and me. Virgil On Finding Braxton.

Tuesday, January 28, 2025

Meditation 211 ~Virgil On Finding Braxton~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But I’m still sleeping with my best friend. You or the dog? You wouldn’t dare.

You know the man you married. I’m just a sucker for pain… And Humiliations Galore. Oh, baby girl, I can tell you about some humiliating days at the Day Job. Then I think of B.

God, my selfishness. But nothing is as humiliating as remembering the day I lost Braxton. I walked in a Dad and walked out a… “I’m not sure what you are now,” I told myself at that moment. A man who euthanized his best friend. Not former. I’ll never accept that.

Even though he passed, goin’ on four long years. And how long have we been married, my love? That’s a dangerous question. “You Oughta Know,” you say. Get over it…

Always and forever, the answer is no. “He’s My Son.”

Braxton Barks Bradford… “Yeah, he’s my son, and that’s my choice.” He will always and forever be. And knowing how I feel about him, you’re still here. “I’m Still Here.”

Somehow, someway Braxton’s Playlist is still growing, so I don’t have to think. I wasn’t thinking four years ago with Gospel 211 “Say The Word Willie.” I swear the crime I thought I’d committed, and a few days later, Braxton would be in a box. My failure and my disgrace.

And this time last year it was Tale 211 “(Sonday) Someday, B, V.” I swear I keep saying “Someday,” my “Sweet Love,” I won’t be calling out for “My Sweet Lord,” my little B III.

He was my very own little god, always and forever.

And you, our kids, and Virgil still find traces of my Braxton everywhere, Baby Doll.

Do you know Braxton would start his day sitting on my head, too? Eww! He just wanted me to wake up. But you… I can’t believe I’m saying this… Love, I’m not in the mood.

Really! This is coming from me. And I was looking up Netorare, Ahegao, and Paizuri.

Because in English, I just want to say I miss my son and “I Think I Love My Wife.” Love?

I do love you. One more time for good measure, always and forever. I’m such a misanthrope. You and I got together to make people for me to love. I found Virgil. But Braxton is here. Virgil On Finding Braxton.

1458 Days Without B III, Day 899 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will