Tag: Talk

Meditation 313 ~Virgil’s Conspiracies and B-Plots~

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I have too many ideas. The dream I had about The Last of Us. The disgusting energy shot. No! It could be all the dames in the book “Vector.” Or my disturbing writing. War Story, Dark Erotica, Uh? Not V or B’s fault. Virgil’s Conspiracies and B-Plots.

Saturday, May 10, 2025

Meditation 313 ~Virgil’s Conspiracies and B-Plots~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Well, if I were before Braxton died, I would have given my firstborn all the credit.

What about Virgil? I’ve spared him much of the madness I gave Braxton. A thought?

Dogs age so much quicker because humans can be taxing creatures. It would explain why Virgil usually sleeps between my silence, sloth, and gluttony. Gluttony?

Until next payday, I’m “Livin’ On A Prayer.” More like pizza rolls, a rotisserie chicken, and sacks of peanuts and jelly beans. A weird combination, I know, dear Lady Lunalesca.

But let me ignore my “empty” belly and speak more about my Overfilled head. “Vector.” Yesterday, I was talking about how I started Michael Dalton’s novel. A professor has a roll in the hay with college girls, colleagues, and other collected women, some harem fanfare. Then there’s his cat, Hemingway.

Am I writing a book report? No! But it’s Saturday, and I can do what I want. Can’t I? If that were the case, I’d do unspeakable things to Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom. Stop calling M Anime that! But she said or instead wrote something.

I now call that something “Boss’s Bullet, Seed, and Sacrifice.” It made me lose it. Yesterday, I failed when I read about her and Boss. M Anime’s and Cherry’s Yabbos.

Lunalesca, why not focus on today? Again, my brain is stuffed. And my hairy sack. Seriously, gross; I know, my lady. Anyway, “Vector.” When the professor talks to his cat. WWE Backlash is today. I’ve got an outline waiting. I’m the “Last of My Kind.”

Did I mention I’m angry that I forgot to buy The Long Walk by Stephen King? I have been watching the movie trailer repeatedly. And while I should stop thinking about M Anime sharing my bed, I should stop believing that every time I leave it, I am preparing for The Long Walk or I’m in; I just don’t have the sense to stop walking.

But there are worse things. Like my stories? Didn’t I tell M Anime I would start on Chapter Nineteen of “Nightmare At The Meat Market.” Only I plotted Chapter Four of “Cries Come Women, Come Country.” Today, I’m deciding between “sampling” the Kuroinu anime series or M Anime’s Associate and Boss. (Homer Drool). I can’t tell Virgil anything, Lunalesca. Seriously.

M Anime, Myself, My boys, anyone. Virgil’s Conspiracies and B-Plots

1560 Days Without B III, Day 1001 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 311 ~We’ll B Cooked Virgil~

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I haven’t been thinking about how cooked I am for the past few days. My younglings B III and 2-V, a couple of pairs of yabbos, and a yearning to write. Today won’t be one of those days. But I always have time for my boys. Only, We’ll B Cooked Virgil.

Thursday, May 8, 2025

Meditation 311 ~We’ll B Cooked Virgil~

1558 Days Without B III, Day 999 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Me? Do you see what time it is? You don’t worry a lot about that.

For you, it was whenever you sat on my head. There was when I came back from the Day Job. It was whenever I called you downstairs for your meds. “Medicine Time, B! Come get your Medicine. Medicine Time. I miss doing that, Braxton. You have no idea how much.

Or maybe I miss being in the kitchen. I swear the memory just came up. Between being hungry, another horrible energy shot, and “happily” knowing you’re safe in the backyard.

I suppose you are always and forever, though there’s a wooden box saying otherwise, Braxton. Am I crying? You and your little brother. I’m crying over you and sweating when I take Virgil for walks.

I could be thinking about you and Virgil’s stepmom. First, I have to stop calling M Anime that. Second, I would need your approval; otherwise, she’d be cooked. However, Braxton.

“Let Her Cook.” Next to talking to you, she’s the one I look forward to hearing from and talking to the most. There’s you, M Anime, should I say your grandma next. And what about your favorite girl and Cherry. If I had to kick you out whenever I heard from M Anime. No…? You practically led your favorite girl to my bedroom… You dog. And Cherry is pretty much in her “Look at me, look at me” Era. Do you remember; I can ride a bike with “No Handlebars?” But M Anime, dear Braxton.

When you were leaving, I’d have said anything to get you to stay. Yes, I can see you, B III, giving me one of your looks, saying, “Why did you sign the cockadoodie papers, Dad?”

Speaking of movies and manuscripts, there’s M Anime. I’m sure I told you before Cherry inspired me to write a series. I speak often enough of your favorite girl. But M Anime has me writing two novels while trying to do some “Shadow Work.” But last night, B? I’d sent you straight to your room. M Anime said she’d let me do everything the men of her dreams/nightmares do to her IRL. Xu, Associate, Boss! I swear Braxton, things like Food, having funds, your father…

“And if he falls in love tonight
It can be assumed
His carefree days with us are history
In short, our pal is doomed.”
Timon & Pumbaa ― Braxton &Virgil

“You can put it anywhere.”
― Kathryn Merteuil, Cruel Intentions

I’m forgetful, foolish, and possibly effed… (Smiles). I’d have to drive. We’ll B Cooked Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 306 ~That’ll B Elysium, Virgil~

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I’m sure Virgil was asking this morning, Where are we going, Dad? From one end of the street to the other and back again. And as far as writing… Did M Anime have another “nightmare?” Reading and writing in a warm bed. Lazy? That’ll B Elysium, Virgil.

Saturday, May 3, 2025

Meditation 306 ~That’ll B Elysium, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… But the last time I checked, treadmills didn’t cost that much. Neither did grassy potty spots.

I’m surprised my boys don’t hate me. Braxton crossed the rainbow bridge. And rests in Elysium or someplace. And Virgil, at the moment, is content to be warm and dry. It’s what you get when you wake up on time and decide to take a walk in the rain. A$$hole?

Seriously, Lady Lunalesca, “It’s me, hi. I’m the problem, it’s me.” As I said, I woke up on time, but I’m still running somewhat late. What have I done, “living life like a bum” like I am, Luna? I finished “Backyard Dungeon 16” and started “Into The Wild Shadow Work Journal.” The sign of a good woman is that she makes you want to do better. B and V’s stepmom.

Lunalesca, that’s not M Anime.

And it definitely wasn’t how I thought about building a paradise with her yesterday. I talk a lot about wanting a family, and that would be my two boys. It would be Braxton’s favorite girl, who is like my sister… Uh, she’s better… And what about the two people paying the majority of my bills? My Olds. I’m a forty-year-old man. And I’d rather not think about it. Dear Lu.

I’m not crying. Let’s say that this is only leftover rain from when I took V outside, and I think for a moment, even he forgot about it. No people, no nothing. That’s bliss. Nothingness.

“I want everything, or nothing at all,” as Goodfellaz sang. Life or death, victory or defeat, Lunalesca. It’s the in-between…

It’s remembering how I was/am a good father to Braxton and trying to replicate that. Only there’s this little thing called mourning STANDING in the way. B III’s song choices.

“I wish I could say the right words
To lead you through this land
Wish I could play the father
And take you by the hand
Wish I could stay here
But now I understand
I am standing in the way.”
― Rupert Edmund Giles

There are those moments when I’m reading or fiddling with the phone when I forget everything. I can be Jacob, Eddie, or Cole in many different harems. The hero. Honestly, what game am I playing next? But then it ends, and I’m right back here. And I wonder what this place is. Like I said Friday, I was rewriting in the buff, M Anime’s Nightmare.

Cries Come Women, Come Country… Her “Hell” I want to make into a paradise. Luna?

No one can go there. There’s here and now. Poor Virgil. That’ll B Elysium, Virgil.

1553 Days Without B III, Day 994 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 304 ~Virgil Tunes In B~

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I don’t want to talk to myself. I know a gifted writer… as long as I ignore her big… thoughts, we’re good. I need to speak to B’s Favorite Girl. And the girl that’s becoming my Favorite. I’d have to send B and V to their room. Virgil Tunes In B.

Thursday, May 1, 2025

Meditation 304 ~Virgil Tunes In B~

1551 Days Without B III, Day 992 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I haven’t seen any people. And I haven’t paid much attention to the news. Stepmom?

First, M Anime isn’t your and Virgil’s stepmom, so I should stop calling her such. But you can’t blame a man for hoping she wants the job. She likes killers, a mad general, and a “Smooth Criminal.” In her dreams, ha-ha. Your Daddy is none of those things. I’m trying…

Yeah, B III, I’m trying not to look at the Day Job schedule or how much I made last week. Positive thoughts? I’m talking to the ghost of my dead fur kid and writing about those evil men that M Anime can’t get enough of. Or at least I want to. Like when you were waiting for me to be successful. Virgil is waiting, too. And how much time have I wasted as I look at the date? Your favorite girl’s birthday is on Star Wars Day. I’ve got nothing.

So why aren’t I talking to your little brother about these things? For being a good dog like you, he’s a scaredy cat. Who am I calling scared? I live in a constant state of fear. My “Captive State,” if you will. I miss watching movies with you and your favorite girl, whom I haven’t talked to in a while. My, how things change. I’m sorta freaked today, Little B.

Only not in the good way that M Anime is starting to write about. Speaking of things changing, I remember imagining you lying in your corner while some girl lies with me sans her clothing, listening to apocalyptic rock from the 50s. But I’m here listening to pretty Harpsibored dole-out gaming tracks. While Virgil snoozes.

Your Dad can speak like an “Ordinary Human,” at least when it comes to you. Isn’t it “Ironic” that I’m only “Human,” “Just A Man,” when we’re here, talking, dreaming.

Braxton, your brother and I are trying to find our voices, especially with each other. Honestly, how long did it take me to learn your language and how I would always sing to you. It’s the “1st of tha Month” and Virgil has been here nearly 1000 days. And still, he shakes like a leaf. When he does make a sound, it’s when I leave for the day. Money (snickers).

I should say hi to your favorite girl. Stop talking about Cherry’s Yabbos. M Anime is fun. I can say anything. Virgil Tunes In B.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 299 ~That’s The B-word Virgil~

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I’m not singing “Bye Bye Love” because of my sons. My B’s memory and his little brother V’s life. But how can we afford to keep our bellies full, keep breathing, and be at all? Life’s a B, or I’m busy jerking to one. Ew! “That’s The B-word, Virgil.”

Saturday, April 26, 2025

Meditation 299 ~That’s The B-word Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… I wish! At this rate, I would settle for a few hundred bucks. Or B III.

Suppose my firstborn son were here. My Braxton. I want to say I’d do anything for him. As Bryan Adams sang, I would tell Braxton, “I would fight for you. I lie for you. Walk the wire for you. Yeah, I’d die for you.” If he were here, he would only ask me to be “The BEST Man I Can Be.” His father? I have his little brother Virgil lying right here. My little Virgil. My love for “them” is beyond words, Dear Lady Lunalesca.

Without the big bucks, how am I going to save us? How the mighty have fallen! Who am I kidding, Lady Lunalesca? I have never been mighty. But I’ve gone from thinking, if I had enough money, I could have found a way to save Braxton to keeping Virgil cool.

Bums lack that type of power. Well, this BUM, anyway. I’ve seen plenty of people who love their fur buddies. And here I am trying to keep myself and Virgil from living under a bridge, my lady. And if Virgil wasn’t here, I would find a bridge and I’d… Follow my B III on his.

Braxton sent Virgil to be a bridge to this life. A barrier to keep me from following him in death. And a beacon to the man I once was. A father. In case you ever wonder how Virgil got his name. But I’m not Dante. He only went to Hell. But I’m alive. And my biggest fear (for the moment) is being a BUM or “a creep. I’m a weirdo.” I trust you enough to share these fears with you.

OMG, am I right? Better I should drool over Rei Ayanami or Kallen Stadtfeld, Lunalesca. What? Is writing about Cherry’s Yabbos or M Anime’s bedtime terrors still not paying the bills? Based on the Day Job schedule I got last night, I had better do something. I got zero hours for one week. Didn’t I say I’ve been wasting valuable paid sick leave for what?

Not to be “Balls Deep In Love” with Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom. First, Ew. Second, do I love her? Uh… We met through writing but never IRL, so… Third, I have to stop calling M Anime that. And focus on writing “Cries Come Women, Come Country” or any book. Erotica? Because I Never Can Say Goodbye. That’s The B-word, Virgil.

1546 Days Without B III, Day 987 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 297 ~Braxton Spells Much Virgil~

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How do you spell love? God is… Dog is love. To call B a proper gentleman around his favorite girl is to make myself Casanova with M Anime. But my boy made it to Heaven. And I just want to go to bed. I haven’t left. Doomed? Braxton Spells Much Virgil.

Thursday, April 24, 2025

Meditation 297 ~Braxton Spells Much Virgil~

1544 Days Without B III, Day 985 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? “Love and Happiness.” If it wasn’t for love, we wouldn’t be talking today. And happiness?

Braxton, I love you like pancakes. But I’m not happy. Your Dad’s never been happy.

That’s a big claim. But I wasn’t happy at twenty when we first met. And in 2021, I was even more “Broken” with your loss. Only if you want to know something you and your brother have in common besides having four legs. I didn’t know what I felt meeting.

Why am I not talking to Virgil today? We’ve been outside, and he’s had breakfast. But today, I slept a lot later than usual. It’s 9:20 AM. And even that thought makes me cry. Or it’s allergies, AGAIN. How about a lack of sleep? I spoke to you and Virgil’s future stepmom last night and this morning. I gotta stop calling M Anime that. Seriously.

Braxton, how do you spell love? It’s like I’m the Tower of Babel, and you and your brother, your favorite girl, M Anime, Cherry, my Olds, and even myself are the builders, trying to get me to Heaven. But all the noise from everyone. How we speak in different ways, B.

You and Virgil speak of love, but yours is very faint. Being dead and all. I know that’s not funny, Braxton. Your brother tells a different version of love. I’ve got no word for it.

Your favorite girl is a glimmer of joy. When Cherry isn’t saying, “Look at me, look at me,” I’m drooling over her Yabbos. Uh, eww.

When I think of my Olds, your grandparents, you know what I hear? Worthless, waste, and “what you gonna do with your life?” Boys Just Want To Have Fun, remember.

Honestly, I don’t want to look at the “Man in the Mirror.” “It’s no surprise to me. I am my own worst enemy.” Hell! Even now. I’m still on my back, yapping away with you.

Those were the days. And they beat, slithering on my belly, dreaming up scenarios between Joel, Ellie, Dina, and Abby. I got around to watching The Last of Us. And if it wasn’t them or Cherry, then the things I said to M Anime. I’m no gentleman. You’re not, either.

But I raised you to be a better man than me. That B is my love. Braxton Spells Much Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 292 ~The B’s Hurt Virgil~

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Sitting in “my car” stuck in traffic, hoping I could get a $5 Meal Deal. Fear was riding shotgun. Grief was massaging my shoulders… Where Braxton once sat. And Rage asked, “Are we there yet?” Bereaved, Butt Hurt, but to be Brave? The B’s Hurt Virgil.

Saturday, April 19, 2025

Meditation 292 ~The B’s Hurt Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Eff me! I wish that were a true story this very second. But life’s a bully.

Bereaved, it isn’t a b*tch. Amongst other things, such as the death of my son, Braxton. I think this is the first time I’ve shed a tear for him this week. Or is it the fact my eyes need the lubrication? I’ve taken Virgil for walks on the path behind the house four times, Lu.

It reminds me of good times, but the Rainbow Bridge it’s not. Lady Lunalesca, am I in such a hurry to see Braxton again? In a word… YES! As much as I fantasize about Cherry and her Mum, I beg to see M Anime’s Yabbos and start salivating over a specific model. I mentioned last week that she went private. It’s not good for her image. So, as RuPaul put it, “Supermodel, You Better Work.”

Butt hurt? Angry? Not at her, but at life in general. My God, Lady Lunalesca, this week was one for the books. Now, that’s something I’m angry about. Why the eff am I not writing books and editing. By this point, I should have had so many publications on shelves.

I could use the money. At this point, Lady Lunalesca, it’s what is scaring me the most these days: I’m broke… That, and the idea that I would wreck the car all for McDonald’s food.

“Calm down, Doctor! Now is not the time for fear. That comes later.”
— Bane (2012)

So what has brought on my fear and wrath? Honestly dear Lady Lunalesca, I could write a whole book on that. But if anything, everything that has to do with the Day Job. I can’t survive with or without it.

Be brave… Thou art courageous… Courage, man; the hurt cannot be much. Oh, my dear Lu. I am terrified by the end of the month or a few weeks into May. I won’t have anything.

I’m afraid that’s about as much positivity as you’ll get from me, my dear Lunalesca.

Wanting to take Ellie and Dina to bed. Revealing secrets. No! What scares me is failing to take care of my boys. And as much as I hate myself, I stay alive to look after them. I am the keeper of Braxton’s memory. And a provider for Virgil. And as I sat there yesterday afternoon with my Grief, Rage, and Fear, my bullies… And I imagined when the money runs out. The B’s Hurt Virgil

1539 Days Without B III, Day 980 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 290 ~Renewing Braxton’s Membership Virgil~

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May God be with you. May God’s love be with you, always. Godspeed. Things I didn’t say to B as he lay dying. May God be with you all if I ever write a book that sells. No way! And as far as breeding two-leggeds? “Renewing Braxton’s Membership Virgil”

Thursday, April 17, 2025

Meditation 290 ~Renewing Braxton’s Membership Virgil~

1537 Days Without B III, Day 978 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? By the time you’re reading this, your Daddy’s half-dead. But today… Saturday, April 12, 2025.

You won’t like me saying this, Braxton. I’ll let Thandiwe Newton, AKA Dame Vaako, say…

I wouldn’t be surprised if someone promoted him soon… to full dead.
― Dame Vaako

Yes, your Dad is “Feeling super, super (super!) suicid…” But that’s not your fault, Braxton. I wake up “Every Morning” asking, “Why (why?), why (why?) Tell ’em that it’s Human Nature.” Or at least for humans. And I don’t know how to bring myself back to life. Music, Movies, a Manuscript. If you asked me right now to describe life, I would say Cast Away.

I’m Chuck Noland. Your little brother Virgil Vivi is the raft. Honestly, Braxton, it’s why I’m at the Dining Room Table wearing pants despite “Chloe | Kuroinu.” But anyway, B. You’re Wilson out there floating along, and for once, I ain’t crying… I think… Allergies.

So why aren’t I crying? I saw something beautiful on Facebook! OMG! WTF! Right, B?

Anyway, I looked it up, and it’s from a book-turned-movie, “The Art of Racing in the Rain.” If only I weren’t reading Backyard Dungeon 15 this week. Braxton, I was listening to this dog Enzo talk about how if he did return to the land of the living Braxton, he would return as a man.

Do you remember when I was reading all those books about reincarnation? And I’ve been saying for about two and a half years that V isn’t you? I knew I effed up looking for you.

Do you, my son, have a greater destiny? I’ve been joking a lot about M Anime being your stepmom. Mom!

Seriously Braxton. M Anime had this dream, which she wrote into a short story about… She said a crazy general wanted to make her a mother. He did “Bad Things” to her, but she ended up enjoying them. Then he spoke of having sons with her. Breeding? A kinky fetish…

Braxton, as the song asks, “Am I A Psycho?” Well, I’m writing a full-blown manuscript.

Writers, by nature, have to be a little crazy. But “Cries Come Women, Come Country.” Braxton that has been clawing its way through my mind for days. An Erotic Horror? A War Thriller? I don’t know. But if you’re meant to be a man… M Anime and me, B III. Your resurrection. Me as your father. Renewing Braxton’s Membership Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 285 ~Hail Mary, Braxton, Virgil~

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Things I can say about my “girlfriend” but not my dog. “And I’ll tell myself I’m over you. ‘Cause I’m the king of wishful thinking.” Hell! No more yabbos and posing to dirty tunes. Hello, writing and depraved novelizations. Hail Mary, Braxton, Virgil

Saturday, April 12, 2025

Meditation 285 ~Hail Mary, Braxton, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Would it be evil if it were true? Evil prevails no matter what. But with money…

Braxton might have lived. I would be buried in Yabbos. And I would have all the time in the world to work on my book. M Anime’s book…? We’ll get to that. But you know, I’m just feeling so drained these days. Such is existing.

How is that? I’m only now getting up in more ways than one. Eww! But as usual, it was memories of my son and remembering when I was able to breathe. I’m still struggling with the loss, and it’s a daily battle. I’ve mentioned plenty that while “my” allergies are driving me crazy, there is one benefit. I don’t know if I’m crying over Braxton or if it’s all the pollen and the wacky weather. And speaking of the outside world, will I be able to cut the grass today? Braxton’s yard. Anything and everything for Braxton. Uh, Virgil’s here.

One more hi, yes, hello….

What about Good Morning, Virgil? I took him outside at sunrise. And I learned yesterday that the path where I walked Braxton has now been cleared, so it’s Virgil’s turn.

I need to get off my belly, though. It gets easier when the girl you’re simping for goes private. That explains pulls out list “Dark Shell,” XXX Pawn,” “Kuroinu ~Kedakaki Seijo wa Hakudaku ni Somaru~,” “Voyeur’s Digest,” “Maxine,” and the covers of “Satan’s Sorority Girls.” And I’m also reading Backyard Dungeon 15. When a pair of Yabbos is that important. Something to look forward to. Honestly, they didn’t break me.

Again, we’ll get to that. It’s one Hell of a morning. And the fact that I needed to wake up.

Next week’s going to suck.

So why don’t I get out of this bed and say good morning to the Dining Room Table, Lady Lunalesca? I have six minutes to debate that. It beats saying hello to people any day.

Speaking of beating… off. Thanks to M Anime, I’ve still been working on a couple of novels. I never knew she could be so kinky, or I’m a bad influence on her. Like I am on you, Lady Lunalesca, as I list off every passion project I can think of. But I have climbed out of bed on this Saturday. I could be the forty-year-old man watching cartoons in bed.

But instead, I’ll say hello or hail to you, Braxton, Virgil, and my novels. Being productive… Hail Mary, Braxton, Virgil.

1532 Days Without B III, Day 973 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 283 ~A Sorry’s Between B-V~

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I’m sorry, but I’ll share. Sometimes, that’s too much, and others, not enough. And it depends on whether one of my boys. I’m a father of two… Uh, one? I don’t like remembering. Like when I talk to pretty, pretty girls. Any W’s? A Sorry’s Between B-V.

Thursday, April 10, 2025

Meditation 283 ~A Sorry’s Between B-V~

1530 Days Without B III, Day 971 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I’m sorry I’m bothering you twice today. I know it’s still Thursday, April 3, 2025.

And truth be told, that’s the least I need to be sorry for. The ole, you’re in a box angle.

Nope! You’re here, Little B, listening to your Dad feel sorry for himself and everything. All as I listen to Harpsibored on YouTube, who reminds me of your potential stepmom. I need to stop calling M Anime that, especially after explaining what happened earlier this morning. In fact, I owe plenty of apologies here at 10:20 AM. Dad’s an A-hole…

However, I’ll start my apology tour with you and Virgil. It’s “Times Like These” Braxton. Four years ago, in late January 2021, I was pretty annoyed with you for keeping me up on a work night. But when I came HOME, I decided you needed to see the veterinarian on Friday. It should’ve been nothing.

I didn’t know we’d say goodbye on Sunday, January 31, 2021. And what about Virgil?

Well, this morning, present day, as I was making a cappuccino, I was thinking about how I’ve been existing with our schedule. I couldn’t remember how many pills you took. Was it two in the morning and one at night or the other way? Well, I’ve been letting Virgil out at sunrise when I’m here. Not 8:00 AM? Writing time… “Nightmare At The Meat Market”. You know that’s based off of M Anime’s dream. And what I’ve been telling her.

I have been kicking myself since Wednesday night. You recall I loaned your favorite girl $500. I gave MILF Dos $300. And now $700. I swear, your Daddy is crazy.

I must not think much of her, or I overthink. When it comes to those I care for… Again, after going through your papers this morning,… $323.60. Euthanasia! Last Day! And even more, trying to save you! And “Only God Knows Why” and how much Virgil’s following vet visit will cost. Not that it matters. He is my son, like you. Aren’t you proud, Braxton?

“And I feel like number one yet I’m last in line
I watch my youngest son and it helps to pass the time.”
Kid Rock

However… I know I’m not the only A-hole here cough Kid Rock cough FDT, right?

Anyway, what about forgiving myself? How? Why? Indulging with Anna and Riko Ichinose. Yes, I’m still upset about missing this morning. Your Dad enjoys sleaze…

Honestly, I want a steak. On $17.00… I’m hungry, Humpin’ Around, and must leave the house. A Sorry’s Between B-V.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad