Tag: B

Journey 242 ~Almost A B, Virgil~

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The theme for today is “Move B***H, get out the way.” There are stronger fighters than me. Better dog walkers. Better kids… My sister pays for her own crap, like a house. And me? The last time I was almost somebody was in the womb. Almost A B, Virgil

Saturday, February 28, 2026

Journey 242 ~Almost A B, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Almost. I’m only about $999,998,000 short. Speaking of short, I’m almost 6’ by way of 5’5”.

Yeah, that might matter to a girl like Leoshi “‘Cause she don’t know me, but yo, she’s really fine.” And what about “Moesha”? Speaking of pop culture, I can’t stand, my Olds watched it religiously—prime black television. But I despised Moesha and Frank Mitchell.

What a way to end another Black History Month, almost. Talking about Black people I don’t like. You would think I was turning MAGA, almost. But no. People hating people.

I wouldn’t say no to Michelle Obama. I enjoy watching Jasmine Crockett kick ass—Jahara Jayde (Homer drool). There was a time I was crazy for Misty Stone. Uh, Jenna Fox, when she was the college tutor. And here I thought I was going to speak somewhat righteously, Lunalesca. Almost.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’m getting tired of Almost like Braxton’s book “My Turn To B III” got tired of the words “Of Course.” And as Moesha/Brandy sings “Almost Doesn’t Count.” I’m always almost.

STUPID, I’m sure, but take this morning as an example: Whiteout Survival, State vs State fight. I position my city, and I’m quickly told to get to the back of the line. Why is that?

“Am I hard enough?
Am I rough enough?
Am I rich enough?
I’m not too blind to see.”
Beast of Burden by The Rolling Stones

“Higher, further, faster, baby,”
Carol Danvers, from Captain Marvel (2019)

And sadly, I know I’m not, I can’t be any of these things. Is that the right word, Lu, sadly?

Up until five minutes ago. “And then THEY call. And I remember.” My Olds, Lunalesca.

Then skin and bones, sickly, and yes, my dear, STUPID, all come to mind. I’m almost a man. “Human” and “Ordinary Human.” Their bum son.

Now you see why I hate my phone… Almost. Braxton despised the tiny glowing tech. “The Glow Box” in Braxton speak. But then there’s his potential stepmom M Anime, his Favorite Girl, and Cherry’s big Yabbos but even bigger brain. And me a B student? Lunalesca, I’d better be talking about Braxton because I sucked at Higher Learning. Oh B.

One bad playthrough, phone call, and playing the perverter of prose, and my day’s effed.

But I saved M Anime’s, almost. Do I love her like pancakes? Nah, that’s Braxton. However, thinking about some idiot game, the worst president in “my lifetime,” my Olds, and pretty much 99% of the human population. I can’t be almost! Not to her. Virgil. Braxton… Almost A B, Virgil

1854 Days Without B III, Day 1295 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 240 ~Braxton, Virgil, Little Dreams~

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It’s a lot to ask that people be so insightful—the exception: “my” woman. But I ran to my son first. But the Rainbow Bridge is far. I need to check on my girl. And people cost money. Michael Jackson was worth how much? Braxton, Virgil, Little Dreams.

Thursday, February 26, 2026

Journey 240 ~Braxton, Virgil, Little Dreams~

1852 Days Without B III, Day 1293 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My day? Another series of apologies. I woke up. Afraid, Hard (Eww), and your stepmom.

I should say your potential stepmom, M Anime. Fortunately, I couldn’t get too crazy, Little B. Your little brother is developing a habit of trying to crawl up next to me. At around two in the morning, I moved him back towards the foot of the bed. I know, meanie

Anyway, when I woke up “properly,” I found him closer to my legs, and I hopped up for three reasons. Bull ridin’ and boobies? Well, boobies was the last one. The first two were, I thought, I was late for the Day Job. You know what you call “The Bad Place.” And the second was bad dreams. Um, not bad, but odd. And of course, I went running straight to M Anime to tell her. “I Adore Mi Amor,” right?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

So the dream: I was and wasn’t Michael Jackson in “The Jacksons: An American Dream.” Michael was climbing down a small cliff to reach a crystal-blue lake. He was fully clothed, but I remember red cowboy boots. The water was getting higher, and there was a chill on my hips. Then there was a song that I couldn’t identify, so I looked to the shore, and Michael’s brothers were there. One, I believe Terrance Howard played, said something like, “I don’t care if we stay here a day or forever.” But the first song, Braxton…

It got louder. And then I was suddenly transported to the other side of this “villa.” The stones were the same color, so I knew we were still on the property. There was a wedding reception. Some guests were ahead of us, smiling and cheering. Us? It was me, Braxton, and your potential stepmom, M Anime. I remember a red ribbon around her throat. And you and Virgil… Remember that picture I couldn’t share… Kyouko Sakai, Kojin Taxi 2/Sex Taxi 5 held you. And Lulu, Final Fantasy X held Virgil. You two, my fur buddies.

But it wasn’t the women’s clothes or lack thereof; it was the Latino man who was singing, and it was a blend of “Oh, My Darling Clementine” and “Unchained Melody.” He wore a tan suit like President Obama and a pin of yellow and white flowers. But it was the Blue Baptista that made it pop. The flower of “The Purge.” Then the words “Dream on, dream away.” And the dream came to an end. So I sang it, heard the inflection, and found it.

Braxton, that brings us to now. What does it mean other than I’ve been listening to Color Me Badd for an hour? I could go on forever thinking about every little thing. Because I dream big and I dream in color. I suppose you do too. Is that why they call it the Rainbow Bridge? M Anime and I were walking down a tower. You? Virgil? Braxton, Virgil, Little Dreams

“You mustn’t be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling.”

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 235 ~Braxton And Virgil Tops~

WillLeave a comment

It’s not a headache. It’s not B’s furry butt telling me he needs to potty. It’s not even when my tablet fell and cracked my glasses. I still have eyes… But I feel like my head on my shoulders is too much. Me? My boys? Well, “Braxton And Virgil Tops.”

Saturday, February 21, 2026

Journey 235 ~Braxton And Virgil Tops~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And you know I’m lying. A bad night’s sleep will do that—bad dreams, aka nightmares.

My own? Yeah, because if we were talking about Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, I’d be hard as an effing rock. M Anime’s dreams turn me on. She and General Xu, Boss, and Associate. And two of my biggest fantasies at the moment. Cuckoldry, Ravishment.

Dreams? The only thing I remember about my dream last night was beating the crap out of some blonde frat boy like I was Will Hunting in “Good Will Hunting.” I had to take it out on somebody. That’s not good to say, considering I am a father. Wanna-be Husband:

“All these girls only gonna want one thing
I could spend my whole life good will hunting
Only good gon’ come is as good when I’m cumming”
Run This Town

Not just yet. Remember December? And now, the mid- to late week of June. Summer Vacation? Where to go, Lady Lunalesca? To the stars. Heaven. Take me to bed, Will.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

If a girl ever says those five words to me, I’m putty in her hands. I swear to Braxton, Lu:

In my hands, nothing turns to putty
― Michelle Huddleson

“Somewhere Only We Know.” “In My Place.” SIGH “Just one year and then you’d be happy.” That’s what Gerry Rafferty is singing about. In bed with my Boricua or on “Baker Street?” Speaking of the street, did I forget that I have a major cash issue to deal with, Lu?

Hell, I didn’t remember to go to bed until midnight. I woke up hunched over on this same love seat. And you wonder why I felt the need to bash someone’s head in. “In Dreams.”

Or maybe I was trying to wake myself up. “I’m Black, Y’all” and still ain’t MAGA. Eff them and FDT!

Um, the American Dream? Ok, I wish I could go all Christopher Stone, Freedom Fighters:

“New Yorkers, fellow Americans… I am Chris Stone, the so-called “Freedom Phantom”. I stand before you today a free man, and I vow to die a free man. Like you, my world was shattered eight long months ago. I watched as my family and friends were tortured, captured, and killed. I have nothing left of my former life… except the hope for a better future… a better future for our children – the American dream! I, for one, still believe in that dream. We’ve read this in our schoolbooks as children; now is the time for us to embrace those ideals and stand up against the weight of Tyranny. We have a duty to ourselves to throw off our oppressors. When I look around this city, I do not see smoldering ruins… no, instead I see a sleeping army, ready to awaken. The world is watching us now… how we respond will prove our claim. I stand before you and the world today to reaffirm the pledge our forefathers made to each other, and for each of us, to protect our lives, our fortunes, and our self-worth. So I ask you now to take up arms against the evil invaders and yell in their faces that.
THEY WILL NEVER TAKE OUR
FREEDOM!”
― Freedom Fighters

But, Hell, Lunalesca, what did I do for Valentine’s Day, Black History Month, Braxton’s Birthday? I haven’t even watched the Olympics. And didn’t I say I would look up some Black Haremlit authors? Damn, am I not a Black Erotic Author? Perv with a blog.

Worse. I’m a forty-one-year-old bum sitting on a loveseat playing Whiteout Survival, which is the thought that had me zoned out last night and waking up the way I did.

Lunalesca, I love my boys. Braxton and Virgil are tops. My four-legged sons. But crap:

“And maybe I forgot
All things I miss
Oh, somehow I know
There’s more to life than this.”
Kid Rock

Lunalesca, I want that white-picket fence, wife, family, that New York Times bestseller, my “adult studio. Braxton And Virgil Tops

1847 Days Without B III, Day 1288 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 233 ~HIGH Virgil, Braxton’s BAKED~

WillLeave a comment

I wish I could say I was high as a kite or I was as high as B, wherever he is. The Rainbow Bridge? The Rainbow Road? It’s not like I can buy Mario Kart, whatever, or any more books. I’m sort of addicted to eating. “HIGH Virgil, Braxton’s BAKED.”

Thursday, February 19, 2026

Journey 233 ~HIGH Virgil, Braxton’s BAKED~

1845 Days Without B III, Day 1286 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I know that I’ve seen “Better Days,” Glasses on. Phone on my chest. Something pretty…

Oh, and what could be cuter than B? I miss you sitting on my head. Ok, duly noted, my boy.

But I wouldn’t mind if M Anime sat on my face. I know, I know, Eww! But she is your potential stepmom. And Braxton, in all honesty, your Dad did not want to wake up.

Please, that’s most mornings. But this one was particularly bad. And the only reason your bum of a father is sitting in Den in front of the TV is because she texted. And I had the good sense not to shatter my glasses, which is why the phone was on my chest. If anything, that is a testament to how HOT she is… I broke a pair reading “Backyard Dungeon.”

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

You know, the HaremLit series from Logan Jacobs. That was one of those books I wouldn’t read to you or your little brother. But that doesn’t mean it should be burned. If I were to start burning books, it’s because I can’t afford them. Eff MAGA, eff the Cracker Hats, and FDT! And that brings me to today, Braxton. I’m missing you, I’m worried about
Virgil. And myself? Well, eff me too. Another reason I’m still “Alive.” But Meat Loaf?

Braxton, I couldn’t have that even if I knew how to make it. I make bad financial decisions. A lot. Like Backyard Dungeon? Why am I hitting Mr. Jacobs? I liked Backyard Dungeon. I was tired and dropped my tablet onto my glasses one day.

C’est La Vie, treat you unfairly. Like between you and Virgil. You’re both my sons, and I love you both. But fathers aren’t supposed to have favorites, and you know who wins between you and Virgil. I’m either going to Hell for what happened to you or how I’m treating him. Honestly, either way, I need a drink, a smoke, or some pus**… Gross! Sorry!

But I could REALLY be on drugs or develop a drinking problem. There’s also Obsession. I sent M Anime that Animotion tune, and if I could tell her anything, “You’re So Damn Hot.” The only time you were hotter than her is when you got baked… A horrible joke, duly noted. I ain’t right. Low-blood sugar. HIGH Virgil, Braxton’s BAKED

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 228 ~80’s A B, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

An 80 is a B. Cs get degrees. And I was praying for a D on paper when I was done playing with the one in my pants. I have been out of school a long time. But my woman is teaching me about Chinese Myths and Naughty Spanish. Hot? 80’s A B, Virgil.

Saturday, February 14, 2026

Journey 228 ~80’s A B, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Not if I’m not a mediocre white man who dares to call himself the president. Hmm.

Not that I can talk, my dear Lady Lunalesca. I’m the one who’s looking up, do dogs’ tongues burn on ChatGPT? All I know is Braxton stuck his tongue into a cup of hot chocolate and winced. And then he had the nerve to look at me as if I had done something wrong. Well I kil.. had him euthanized several years later. I did. 100% I believe it, Luna.

13 days shy of his 16th birthday. What a lovely way to say I love you. Braxton and I had a good life. “Him and I.” He was my little sister’s dog. And then I go and spoil it all by saying “Something Stupid,” like I love you to him. And then he’s my dog.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

My son. And how did I honor him yesterday? As a matter of fact, how did I honor his little brother, Virgil? The “Tango Maureen?” The Tango Virgil. Hell! The Tango M Anime for “real…” with no regrets. Have I ever told you how hot M Anime is? I’ve got a thing for Puerto Rican girls now. Well, one particular Puerto Rican woman and one thing. But if tentacle porn ever becomes real… Anyway, what was I saying? I spent most of Braxton’s birthday… Doing things with M Anime, I should be doing today. How much did I spend last Valentine’s Day? Total? Why am I not doing that now? Is this an 80’s hit?

No, it was 1990, “The King of Wishful Thinking,” Lunalesca.

My breakup theme for her in August. Then January rolled around, and it seems (Every Time I Turn Around) Back in Love Again.” M Anime and I aren’t quite there yet. Um, she’s sure she’s in love. But I’m the guy who has been mourning his dead furry kid forever.

Is five years forever? Come talk to me on October 20th, 2026, and if Virgil is still “Safe And Sound.” Suppose everything hasn’t burned thanks to MAGA. I’m quite comfortable at 80 degrees. If I were truly in love with M Anime, I’d be playing 98 Degrees’ “I Will Still Love You.” Suppose I were a better man, Lunalesca. But I’m living on 80 bucks. Not enough for “Love and Happiness.” 80’s A B, Virgil.

1840 Days Without B III, Day 1281 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 226 ~That’ll B Heavenly, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

All For Love? I met B when he was barely two months old, and stayed until 13 days shy of his 16th birthday. He passed in his own bed at the vet’s. Right now… Most days, I know I should have followed him. All For One. That’ll B Heavenly, Virgil.

Thursday, February 12, 2026

Journey 226 ~That’ll B Heavenly, Virgil~

1838 Days Without B III, Day 1279 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Me? I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed—things my Olds never said to me ever.

So what am I saying it to you for? Isn’t it Ironic, I blame you when I feel like this?

Like, I might die? A stomach bug, a toothache, like I got hit by a truck, and every bone was breaking after the Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident, and there’s drowning.

Honestly, B, I shouldn’t have made it to forty-one, but here I am wishing you a Happy Birthday. More like Welcome to Level Twenty-One! Your birthday is tomorrow, of course.

But again, who knows if I’ll live to see it. Wrong words, Braxton Barks Bradford. But if I turn the computer a certain way as I sit here in bed, I can imagine it’s you lying against my leg, and now your little brother Virgil.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Must I be so mean? If you want to see ornery, yep, that’s me getting up after puking into a garbage can next to the bed. Eww! Do I blame that Jack’s chicken? Downright blasphemy. The best legs, breasts, and thighs can be found in a bucket/box of chicken ha-ha. For me, I’d say on your Favorite Girl, Cherry, or your potential stepmom, M Anime.

Speaking of which, maybe it’s all the horrible things I was thinking about her, before, then after the breakup, and now the reconciliation, when she needs me to be the man she needs me to be. The “Only One For Me.” Yeah, yeah, B, once upon a time, it was you and me against the world. But yabbos, hot sauce…

I’m not MAGA. Being a horrible human being can actually make me sick. Or I should sue Buffalo Wild Wings for that Wild Sauce. “Put you on the highway to Heaven like I’m your Uber.” Was that BWW or Hallelujah Heaven? Hell, it’s been five years, B III, I know.

Five years since your trip to the Rainbow Bridge. And if you told me I would die with all this pain and get to join you. I’d actually consider myself blessed. I’d follow you, Braxton.

And it’s a good thing I can’t eat anything. Diddly next to squat this paycheck, and next week is squat as in zero. So, about your birthday? M Anime says I listen. You’d say Stay Alive. That’ll B Heavenly, Virgil

‘It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 221 ~Penniless Braxton And Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

To be a preacher, a porn star, or both as a politician. I wouldn’t be penniless. But I chose the gift or curse of prose, poetry, and simple words on paper. “In God We Trust,” it says on the “Dollar, dollar bill, y’all.” “Penniless Braxton And Virgil”

Saturday, February 7, 2026

Journey 221 ~Penniless Braxton And Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… If only, SIGH. A penny for my thoughts? I’d say people aren’t that STUPID. But then…

MAGA, Nazis, and old pervy men. Hell! Men period. Like I told M Anime yesterday.

Last night, to be specific. My dearest Lunalesca, “Someday,” I may be doing that, doing her, in person. And I hope I’ll be able to say to you that “you were always there for me.”

Okay, enough of the “Sugar Ray” lyrics. One more thing I’ve been doing with my morning, Lady Lu. Music. I’m still paying for Spotify, Hulu, and the Internet in general!

A hundred dollars. I’m all out of patience, money, and I’m “All Out of Love.” Tell that to Braxton, Virgil, M Anime, and eff, the “Man In The Mirror.” So a penny for my thoughts.

“A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I’ll sell ’em for a dollar
They’re worth so much more after I’m a goner
And maybe then you’ll hear the words I’ve been singin’
Funny when you’re dead, how people start listenin’.”

“If I Die Young.” Forty-one jamming to The Band Perry.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Why? Well, I’m scared for one thing. And fear doesn’t pay. Adds, multiplies, and divides.

Am I talking about myself or MAGA? One more reason to hide inside. Well, as long as I have a place to hide, that is. How much did I spend last night? Every penny matters.

Ironically, pennies are gone thanks to MAGA. Is that irony? Or isn’t it “Ironic” as Alanis Morissette would sing? I have no clue, but it’s effing weird. I go for walks with both of my boys. Virgil on a leash and Braxton’s ashes around my neck. The woman of my dreams lives hundreds of miles away. While any woman close would rip off my balls.

I’m complaining I’m broke, but seeing Cherry’s yabbos. Um broker.

Indecent Proposal as it is. And what about my woman? What about Braxton’s Favorite Girl? Should I say Virgil’s, too? He only met her once. “I’ve seen Better Days,” Lunalesca.

That’s what my boys would say if they could talk to you. Another bit of irony. I think that I’ve talked to Braxton more when I put him in a box than when he was lying next to me, like his little brother is now. Or I watch the Olympics, which is based on promoting world peace in a country at war with its past, its people, and promotes hatred among everyone, everywhere. Effing MAGA. I’d rather see fictional fights (wrestling) than the stupid bowl.

But I’m spending what on food! Penniless Braxton And Virgil

1833 Days Without B III, Day 1274 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 219 ~Minus Braxton and Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

So, if life is a game, then love is the instruction. B, His Favorite Girl, V, and M Anime, who loves me… And still I don’t effing love me. But maybe I’m not in the negatives. Oh right. Minus Braxton and Virgil.

Thursday, February 5, 2026

Journey 219 ~Minus Braxton and Virgil~

1831 Days Without B III, Day 1272 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I ask that every day, when you would emerge and when the house was empty.

And it was for around 559 days if the math is correct. But you know your Dad and Math, B III. Wasn’t I still in college… Ahem, junior college, when we first met? And according to my Math, you were supposed to outlive me. Come on, with my track record. Also, something I said to your potential stepmom yesterday. First off, Eww! And second History. But for now, there’s Math, and why this subject came to mind: the bank, Braxton.

Someone has their ones and zeros confused. And if it’s not that, look what time it is, Braxton. 4:40 AM? Madness. Your brother is here. How many hours has he just been lying here, Baby B? And one day I’ll be without him too. WTF!

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’m always talking to you about language, so I apologize. And we’ll get to that too. Or maybe Science, Biology, how about P.E.? Eww! I should stop being gross. Although I don’t see nothing wrong, with a little “Bump N’ Grind.” This brings us back to History and the fact that I’m once again… Infatuated, Obsessed… Something with M Anime.

Braxton, you know I’ve been thinking plenty about you. The 31st, you “left”. The 4th: “I See Fire.” The 10th: “I retrieved you.” The 13th is your 21st birthday. Historical.

Honestly, I’m doing better than MAGA remembering. Except I‘m not doomed… I’m not Baby B. Call it “Faith of the Heart,” But I want to believe in M Anime. And your brother’s love and life.

Virgil’s life. I don’t know how he stands me sometimes. He talks to you, Braxton…

Let’s move into the paranormal. Why don’t we, hmm, B III? Am I Frankenstein, as I keep bringing you back? I could be the Umbrella corporation, which would make you Resident Evil… No, that’s me. Also, it’s effing February! But your spirit, specter, your sentients…

Hell, are we going to get into AI? “She Blinded Me with Science.” M Anime? No, “Son, what you don’t understand, my words might never explain.” What, her yabbos? Ha-ha!

“Don’t Look Down” on those Braxton. Just like Pizza Girl’s ass from Ian and Kye’s Pizza… Your Dad is just… A freak? A “Creep.” Yet love remains. Yours, V’s, and M’s. Minus Braxton and Virgil?

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 214 ~Don’t Wake Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

B would give me a look. I remember his last look before life left his eyes. I couldn’t close them. He saw me, his Dad. I didn’t get much sleep the night before we left. You want… ever… single second. It’s been 5 years. Don’t Wake Braxton, Virgil

Saturday, January 31, 2026

Journey 214 ~Don’t Wake Braxton, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Enough to buy my son’s life from the Grim Reaper, God, and a good night’s sleep?

Not tonight. Five years ago on this very night… Well, it’s morning now, but let’s start with Saturday, January 30, 2021. I was rushing between my son Braxton on the bed and his water bowl on the floor right next to him. Will you look at that, first tears, Lunalesca.

There’ll be plenty of those today, tomorrow, whenever. Anyway, my B was so strong, Lu.

He couldn’t stand me worrying, so he tried jumping out of bed, and I ended up sleeping in his room so he could be by the bowl he insisted on walking to, every single time.

Lunalesca, it was one of his last acts of defiance against death. Of all the bedtime stories I told my son… He’s going to die…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Nope! As far as I was concerned, he was going to live forever. Forever and always. My son, Braxton Barks Bradford, was/is invincible, immortal, and insane for loving me, Lu.

The father who failed him. Is this really how I wish to honor my boy? Last year, I wrote his story. Hell! I’ve penned two full-blown novels. One’s out, ha. The other? Book or son?

Virgil? Why is his Dad up at midnight chugging back energy drinks and writing about his dead brother? Other than missing him, being mad at the world, and trying to avoid the flat surface, which is the mattress. Eff Lunalesca! You know why I’m abstaining.

Braxton would think I need the love tonight. Not mourning a dead puppy. And Virgil?

He’s alive and well. 5 years old on the 5th anniversary of Braxton’s passing and 5 months without M Anime, though we “connected” earlier this week. To Forgive. To Accept.

Virgil as my son, my second-born? I’m trying, I swear. Called him B this afternoon…

Welcoming M Anime back into my universe. If I could, then I would. I’ll go “Wherever You Will Go.” Things you can say about your dog/son but not your Ex-Girlfriend?

Lunalesca, for now. I may accept us someday. But Braxton being gone? Again, never ever!

I refuse to accept that. So I will do as always. Cry. A burger and fries in the afternoon, Lu. BBQ for dinner. Movies. May my son Braxton Barks Bradford RIP. Don’t Wake Braxton, Virgil

1826 Days Without B III, Day 1267 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 212 ~Sit-down And B Virgil~

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I didn’t see today like this. Five years ago, I got the call that my son was suffering from kidney failure. And I didn’t expect today I’d hear from another lost love, and “Oops (Oh My)” are those my pants? V and B are outside. “Sit-down And B Virgil”

Thursday, January 29, 2026

Journey 212 ~Sit-down And B Virgil~

1824 Days Without B III, Day 1265 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Around this time five years ago, I’m sure the answer would be Hell No, Braxton.

You were at the vet’s office. But I was imagining that “Big Beautiful Bill” for them to find out what was wrong with you. First off, Eww! Using the words of that orange doofus in the White House. I’m getting off topic, but someone got on me for using that A-Hole’s words yesterday. Blah, blah, “But that’s okay.” Ragebait. I’ll admit it. For the record…

Your Daddy is hopeless. Anyway, I was lying on this loveseat… Was that my meditation phase, or was I in bed sick, sleeping, or stroking it? Again Eww! Really! Seriously!

Anyway, five years ago today, I still had my world. I had you. However, you were in another’s hands. No guard duty for you, as you were interviewing for Heaven.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Hell! You could have been saving your strength to take on Cerberus, B. Dad’s Hell-bound?

After what happened to you? No question? Treachery in the Ninth Circle of Hell, Braxton.

But today, seeing “Well, we didn’t get dressed up for nothing.” Ain’t I lying? Honestly.

Braxton, this is definitely one of those times I would have sent you to your room for a while. I can’t say your little brother is “HAPPY” with me either. Virgil is literally hiding under his pillow. What? He had the whole damn loveseat for about an hour while I…

Gave into Sloth before Lust! Standing, lying down, or sitting, I’ll remain a “Lazy Ass.”

Brooms sang “Lazy Ass” best. So if you’re wondering why we’re talking right this minute…

A little while ago, I was standing outside with your little brother. And I was wondering what his malfunction is. He’s been here four years! I haven’t figured Virgil out.

Anyway, when I was thinking of going out, I started talking to M Anime. Don’t give me that look, B. “Here It Goes Again.” Locked doors, gates up, and me trying not to do laundry. Eww! But there’s a reason M Anime was nearly your stepmom, and she’s using two of her “assets” to convince me of her and my misunderstanding. Your Favorite Girl wouldn’t be happy. And me forgiving? I’ve been sitting here for five years, and I’ve never forgiven myself for losing you. $455.96 to find out… You’re dying. Sit-down And B Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad