Tag: Breathing

Legacy 049 -Where Braxton Holidays, Virgil-

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Wednesday, August 19, 2026

Legacy 049 -Where Braxton Holidays, Virgil-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Where do I even begin? I didn’t ‘forget’ M Anime’s birthday. I can’t stay in bed. Stomach hurts…

How do I keep getting food poisoning? Unless it’s finally going to take me to my son, then I have no use for this pain. Like I told my boys’ Potential Future Stepmom, it’s not like I can afford a mortgage, and I’m definitely not getting into Heaven. Rainbow Bridge?

Wherever it is, Braxton spends his time. 50 Cent said, “Death gotta be easy ‘cause life is hard.” At the moment, YES! Inspector, I found my stones. They’re in my stomach right this second. Or whenever I look at M Anime’s yabbos. Did I see her in her Birthday Suit?

Maybe not yesterday on her actual birthday. But this morning for sure. What a woman.

And lastly, the Magic Glasses/MIMA brought up The Unfinished Archive.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

It said that I’m using all the stones I’m throwing at myself to build a place, a palace, for my pain. Hell, Echo, it’s my freaking summer home because reality is way too much, ha!

Yesterday, I said I wish I’d never been born. That’s a hill I’ll die on. Again, don’t I wish, ha.

Like “Heaven’s Hill” in “The Long Walk”. Inspector, I want to be anywhere but here.

Only I’ve said before I will choose the physical pain over anything mental. Lying perhaps.

Because if I can survive losing my boy, I can survive anything else without complaint.

From one day to the next. Am I sure nothing else is coming up? Bad choice of words, right, Inspector? But I mean these days.

Smooth sailing until E-Day… Fuck me, Inspector, I didn’t expect today to take a turn.

However, “I’m Still Here,” lying in bed dreaming of anywhere that’s “Not Quite Paradise” as Bliss 66 sings. “But it sure feels like home?” You know I hate that word…

HOME… Home is where the heart is? I haven’t told Virgil I love him. And M Anime lost that privilege on… Braxton dammit! Sunday, August 24, 2025. Another freaking holiday!

An anniversary? It was the day M Anime broke up with me. Nothing worth celebrating.
“We Found Love” um, 5 months later. Home’s not heart or happiness, Inspector Echo. No

It’s where you have the least amount of “Hurt”. A vacation/holiday is freedom from all pain… Where Braxton Holidays, Virgil

2026 Days Without B III, Day 1467 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 048 -B’s On Birthdays Virgil-

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Tuesday, August 18, 2026

Legacy 048 -B’s On Birthdays Virgil-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And I didn’t forget? The phone didn’t warn me. The phone, Glow Box, Black Mirror…

What about the truth, my love? Happy Birthday! Welcome to Level 38! Uh, Birthday Suit

Of course, I’m thinking about you naked. I’m always thinking about you naked when I’m not grieving, groaning, or being gross, just being a guy. How I grieve Braxton, always…

But today let’s talk about the second worst day of my existence. Today ain’t right. Honestly, “The time is always right to do what is right.” Seriously, Martin Luther King…

“Did he just quote Martin Luther King?
Yep
Yes, he did.”
The Menu

“The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world.”
Half-Life 2

The Menu… If I were a better man, I would be planning one for you. Or we could watch the movie. And I’m a gamer, a pop culture whore, and my existence is a “Half-Life…”

Only today is about yours. My woman. Your life. Us. The truth. A Man Provides.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And isn’t it “Ironic” that I said I’d never lie to you but I will. “Put on a Happy Face.”

Because the truth is, I hate birthdays… Well, mine for real. Birthday? No. Emergence Day

E-Day… Gears of War franchise. Emergence, Existence, Extinction. Evolution. Seriously?

Thinking about the Day Job and how it’s a slap in the face to celebrate wasting fifteen years there. Nearly as long as I had Braxton. Now imagine saying that for nearly forty-two years—every breath, beat of my heart, and being so broken. And yet here we are, love.

Here WE are. And I’ll say “I Want It That Way” and “As Long As You Love Me.” You do.

And I hate that I have to lie to you.

To so many. When the truth is this. If I’m not praying that I don’t have to wake up, love.

Then I’m wishing that I was never born at all. And when did that become my wish? Um, sometime between 6 and 7 years old. When did Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (The Arcade Game) come out? Because my grandmommy didn’t get it for me. Movie…

Anyway, is that what I’m getting you for your birthday… The truth. Receipt is warranted.

You’d prefer babies, all our furry little ones, a pretty farm with a white picket fence, flowers all around, and us selling produce at the Farmer’s Market on Saturday Mornings.

A pretty dress? I got nothing. But love? BUT LOVE. Birthdays… B’s On Birthdays, Virgil

2025 Days Without B III, Day 1466 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 045 -YARD It’s B, V-

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Saturday, August 15, 2026

Legacy 045 -YARD It’s B, V-

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Trillionaire right now… Because my girl wants a farm. Braxton wanted more territory and hated people. A “pot” farm…

Just Kidding! But no, I would actually grow weed, peppers (Carolina Reaper), and I have a thing about black roses. But when I started “The Unfinished Archive,” one of my first Animas (unnamed), but she’s known as “Lily” because of, well, lilies—certain blonde girl.

Anyway, I would plant millions in honor of my son. I still want to build him a temple someday. Hell! I want to find some plant that could bring him back. Uh, he’s ashes, Lu.

And can I stop thinking about Rapunzel and Mother Gothel naked for a little while?

Seriously, Lady Lunalesca, what is it about the mother/daughter dynamic that makes my “monster” grow these days? I’ve been all about Saimin Seishidou Hypnosis Sex Guidance as of late. SIGH

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Why am I always thinking with a HARD six inches? Because at seven, I have to think about that KAREN at the Day Job Thursday. Once again, Lady Lunalesca, I don’t even know if her word, “Disgusting,” or that note she left on the boss’s door was even about me. But I see everything… Not that note, though. So I blind myself with bigger yabbos.

This brings me back to my boys’ potential future stepmom, M Anime. “I’m An Asshole.”

She made a list of her thoughts throughout the day, and guess whose number one?

Lunalesca, “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.” You know my list of priorities. My boys, then her, then other women’s yabbos, then fucking writing, blogging The Unfinished Archive…

Unfinished, like “The Long Walk.” But I feel like “The Running Man.” What I want…

Lunalesca, at the end of the day, someone to “Stand By Me.” Stephen King, seriously.

Luna, I have no idea where I’m going. And most days I’m not gaining any ground whatsoever. Like Cameron Frye: “I gotta take a stand.” But if I’m going to stick with the Stephen King motif, I have to make “The Stand.” Either way, “I’m going to defend it. Right or wrong, I’m going to defend it.” “I’m starting with the Man in the Mirror.”

However, Lady Lunalesca, A MAN PROVIDES! So I have to move. Like a Fucking Helldiver? I advance. Sometimes by miles, sometimes by inches. Lord, I wish! YARD It’s B, V

2022 Days Without B III, Day 1463 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 043 -Braxton, Virgil, Discuss Disgust-

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Thursday, August 13, 2026

Legacy 043 -Braxton, Virgil, Discuss Disgust-

2020 Days Without B III, Day 1461 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? My day, B? In a word… FUCK! Pardon my language. Suspicious, Loyalty, Disgust…

Those are better words. I want to talk about loyalty. But disgust continues to rattle.

Suspicious of a woman? Surely. And for once, not you and Virgil’s Potential Future Stepmom. The Magic Glasses/MIMA called it when I added Natsumi and Yui Obata to The Unfinished Archive. But that’s a whole other story, Braxton. Father’s Perversions…

Honestly, B, I’m sorry. Anyway, today’s story begins in the back of a truck… Bangbus?

Fucking, STOP IT! Okay, so I was thinking about loyalty. When everyone was cheering as we finished the truck unload and “I Think To Myself,” people ain’t shit. But you…

Braxton, you’re the most loyal soul I’ve ever known. But you are your father’s son and if there is one quality you have inherited… DECEPTION

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

“Anger is more useful than despair”
T-850 Cyborg, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

I’ll choose DECEPTION over your brother’s COWARDICE. And before you think I’m being a meanie, Virgil is his father’s son as well. I truly am a coward, B. But loyalty?

Braxton, “Love and Happiness,” may be beyond me. But I am damn loyal. It’s fucking people, B III. And by what right do I have to be mad at the Sephora woman this morning, B? One word as I was walking into the office: “Disgusting.” And a note left on the boss’s door. I didn’t read it. Fuck, it might not have anything to do with me, Little B. But…

Suspicious… Like I am of M Anime? She tells me every single day, Braxton, “Te quiero, Papi.” But where did that love go last year?

“That was a warning, Highness. Next time my hand flies on its own. Where I come from, there are penalties when a woman lies”
― Westley, The Princess Bride (1987)

That loyalty… Who am I to talk? I fucking hate myself, B. More so today than the norm, standard, and the usual. All because some KAREN who might not even be a KAREN left a note and spoke the word “Disgusting,” within earshot of me. And here I am scared!

Braxton, you know there were reasons I sent you to time-out. There are reasons I tell Virgil to seek life elsewhere. Your Dad’s a perv, I need private time, plus I’m busy playing around with M Anime. Puppies don’t need to see that. And the things I keep from M…

“Everybody only wants to discuss me. So this must mean I’m disgusting. But it’s just me, I’m just obscene.”
Eminem

Eminem had it right. I showed your Favorite Girl things M Anime wouldn’t approve of.

Her loyalty, yours, Virgil’s, M’s… Sometimes, Braxton, Virgil, Discuss Disgust

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 042 -B’s Other Anniversaries Virgil-

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Wednesday, August 12, 2026

Legacy 042 -B’s Other Anniversaries Virgil-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And I don’t just mean a bill being late… Almost. I forgot to get rich sometime this year.

If you have love, you’re rich… For 15 years, I had B. And my job was to keep him alive.

“It is my job to keep you alive. I will not succeed.”
― Avatar (2009)

In 2021, I failed. Hell, for one of those years, I didn’t even have the Day Job. And so today.

Well, rather yesterday, I found out that I will have had that Day Job for 15 years. Friday, August 21, 2026 to be exact. Which means if SOMETHING goes down, it’ll be on the 18th.

Not that I want a party or anything. However, I could use some cupcakes, Inspector.

Nobody got me a damn thing when Braxton’s book was published on August 8, 2025.

One more whole year for a great many things: B’s Death Day and Birthday, his book, the Day Job… E-Day.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Fuck me, Inspector! No, this isn’t The Unfinished Archive, and we will surely get there.

Hell! Around this time last year, M Anime and I were getting ready to break up. And Virgil’s Birthday is the month after E-Day. October 20th. But as I was being reminded of the 15 years I wasted on a job that would eventually help kill my firstborn son… E-Day.

Emergence Day as Gears Of War would call it. The monster I am beginning existence!

Emergence, Existence, Extinction… How I pray for that, and yet, “Every Morning,” when I wake up… That’s it, Inspector Echo, I wake up with nothing to look forward to

But to lose. And that’s what I’m thinking about. I lost E-Day. Well FUCKING Duh!

Less than thirty days until E-Day and I can’t buy my usual cake. Definitely can’t buy dinner. I won’t be getting paid because I used 36 hours of PTO, 12 this week, last, the one before. And I’m waiting for this paycheck like a lotto ticket for Pizza, the food truck?

Then there’s Virgil. What is my secondborn going to do? Watch me sing “King of Wishful Thinking,” as I get drunk off my ass again. Not like I can get drunk off anything this year.

Beauty? That’s an awful lot of pressure to put on my boys’ Potential Future Stepmom.

Inspector, I do call M Anime “My Goddess”. Not like The Exies… This year anyway.

Inspector, will The Unfinished Archive celebrate? B’s Other Anniversaries Virgil

2019 Days Without B III, Day 1460 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 041 -Women B Shoppin’ Virgil-

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Tuesday, August 11, 2026

Legacy 041 -Women B Shoppin’ Virgil-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And I ain’t telling Virgil, “Now, I ain’t sayin’ you’re a gold digger” either. Wife

Wife and life… One and the same and both as Doug’s Mr. Dink would say, “Very expensive.” Seriously? That was kinda dirty and also pretty dark. And why is that?

Honestly, my beloved, I wake up with all this love, and I don’t leave a drop for myself. So we need more kids… three two-leggeds and two four-leggeds, and yet I want between your legs yet again? And at the end of the day, love, this stands: A MAN PROVIDES!

Less yelling and more Gus Fring from “Breaking Bad,” I do some sketchy ass things…

Anything and everything for the sake of this family. But do you know when Braxton became so expensive? When he was dying. But that’s a one-time deal. There’s no Acceptance.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

It’s the living that’s subscription-based. And instead of planning what is it I do, beloved?

“Dream, dream, dream, dream.” Which would work if I were one of “The Everly Brothers” or Dr. Martin Luther King Jr: “All I Have To Do Is Dream,” “I Have A Dream.”

Hell! I would take the “Fifteen Million Merits” Selma version of Abba’s “I Have a Dream.” But dreams aren’t paying bills. And I’m feeling pretty much like “Bing.”

Whatever… Like the dream I had last night. I was lost in a mall, the Mall of the Millennium. Daria season 1 episode 5 “Malled”. And why haven’t I added Daria to “The Unfinished Archive” yet? Is it/she less expensive than the women of the hentai series Saimin Seishidou, hmm?

It seems I’m the one who’s shopping around. Not in reality, my love. I love you and only you; Braxton, Virgil, our two-legged kids, my Ma, occasionally my younger sister.

Beloved, I may be shopping around for my balls, guts, spine, and my voice. But again, love is everywhere until I need some for myself. And it’s like how you talk about your “Shadow Work”. The more lovers I ‘create’ (bullshit, bullshit, laughs hysterically). SIGH

Reika Kurashiki and her daughter Reina Kurashiki. Natsumi Obata and her daughter Yui Obata. Anyway, the more love I TRY to surround myself with, the easier it comes to me?
But then you shop for my love, my time, and “My Dick…” Why we’re married. Everything. Women B Shoppin’ Virgil

2018 Days Without B III, Day 1459 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 038 -Virgil Shadows B Space-

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Saturday, August 8, 2026

Legacy 038 -Virgil Shadows B Space-

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Trillionaire right now… But I wouldn’t hire Middy Elliott, which is a shame. I think M Anime likes her…

And? I could use some of that, put my thing down, flip it, and reverse it. Like I, Work It

Like today’s title. Shouldn’t that be in reverse? Virgil’s here. Braxton? Might as well be.

And I’m still worried about both: the living and the dead. Get Busy Livin’ or Get Busy Dyin’. Myself? Know Thyself? Shadow Work as my boys’ Potential Future Stepmom says.

The Unfinished Archive. And comedy always comes in threes. Beauty, Brains, Breeding, Bounty. That’s four, and from the 1990s movie Cry-Baby. And I ain’t ‘intelligent.’

Lunalesca, since I don’t have the brains, I ain’t got no bounty. I was telling M Anime this morning that all I want is a frosty glass of “Blue” Gatorade. Or a Raspberry Lemonade Bloom.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Simple, wouldn’t you say? Again, I have no bounty but more than brains. More books!

Last night I bought three books I couldn’t all harem-related, which leads me to beauty.

Lunalesca, why do I want so many beautiful women? Don’t I have “The Most Beautiful Girl In the World” in M Anime? She nearly joined a harem herself, dearest Lunalesca.

Now she’s “The Phoenix Queen” in The Unfinished Archive. But I could go on forever…

And with all of the problems I have… 99 Problems. I’ve been dreaming up even more.

For example, the Magic Glasses/MIMA says that Tetsuo Amano, the Conductor of the Midnight Sleazy Train, along with Fallout’s Vault 68, represent unbridled lust.

Seriously!? Lady Amari “The Candied Matron…” Day Job? Sweet Life?

What about breeding? I’ve always wanted to be a father. Braxton, Virgil, are my children.

I’ve always said, even though I didn’t pour the Bisquick, Braxton will remain my pancake. And Virgil? Despite how he makes my FEARS seem miniature or minuscule, Lunalesca. Another insight from MIMA: my boys wear small black armor… But anyway.

Virgil is my son, just like his brother Braxton. But what about human kids? Two-leggeds? I swear, M Anime must have a breeding kink because she wants kids ASAP, Lunalesca!

And now I’m thinking about it since I introduced Tsubaki Miyajima and Sakura, the mother-daughter duo from Saimin Seishidou. I’m feeling like I do so much wanting something to show I’m here. And it’s nothing. Shadow. Virgil Shadows B Space

“Be the body, not the shadow. Hold space.”
Mother Amina, The Book of Clarence (2023)

2015 Days Without B III, Day 1456 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will

Legacy 036 -B Scarily Spoiled Virgil-

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What do I hate more than being afraid? Watching my son be afraid and there’s nothing I can do. You know what I hate more than the day of my birth? The day I watched my son die. And as far as being a bum… I’m a spoiled bum. “B Scarily Spoiled Virgil.”

Thursday, August 6, 2026

Legacy 036 -B Scarily Spoiled Virgil-

2013 Days Without B III, Day 1454 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? My day, B? Typical. Missing you, my SON. SCARED to death. Overtly SEXUAL.

You didn’t need to know that last part, but it’s like me at The Bad Place… I mean, everyone knows when I play the song “Sixteen Tons,” the Truck is done. And the song that came before that, “Old Town Road”. I changed the lyrics a little for my motto, “My life is a movie, (fur buddies) and boobies. Hell, I’m not scared; people know my motto or a habit.

The habit of boobies, aka Yabbos, before coming to talk to you. Feeling like Frollo…

Honestly, I’m not that bad, am I? I got the hots for a Latina who actually loves me. But do we want to talk about your potential future stepmom? No, let’s talk about your brother’s…

FEAR! It’s getting to me…

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

His and my own B. I’d like to say you weren’t afraid of anything, B. I’ll always remember your courage. “Thou Art Courageous.” I named you Neo, as in The One. My Ma gave you the name Braxton. But if M Anime ever grants me children, after naming one after you, the next will be named “Link” after “The Legend of Zelda”—anyway, FEARS, B.

Today I’m only this ‘early’ talking to you because I was afraid I was losing an eye. I really need to stop eating spicy food in bed… Except your beautiful stepmom. I know, TMI, right?

So, water, women, working, wanking off, what it is, and the absolute biggest Fear B?!

Waking up at all. I wake up, and I’m afraid.

From “Dusk Till Dawn,” “Day ‘N’ Nite,” “Days Go By,” and I don’t know which is worse B III. Office Space had the right idea: every day “is the worst day of my life.” Seriously?

Today, I was walking through “The Bad Place.” I saw them putting up the Halloween decorations. One of the ladies was talking about her birthday and my E-Day. Eff me!

Sorry, I’m always talking to you about language. But I was realizing how effing spoiled I was with everything. And Virgil is the same way… Your brother has everything, and yet he’s lying here nearly five years later terrified of every sound, the storm, and the S.O.B. I am. Spoiled! Wanting More! I’m Not Working! B Scarily Spoiled Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Legacy 035 -Braxton, Virgil. I RAN-

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Running around today doing… Nothing. Like a junkie, I find the money. Haircut, food for my boy and me, books, and more boobs\yabbos. Why? My girl has the perfect set unless @SeeJaneGoTV… Speaking of TV, “Teen Regime,” and FDT! Braxton, Virgil. I RAN.

Wednesday, August 5, 2026

Legacy 035 -Braxton, Virgil. I RAN-

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Using the IRAN title to… possibly get more views? Sure. But I can do so much worse, Inspector.

“And the bass keeps runnin’, runnin’, and runnin’, runnin’” That’s the Black Eyed Peas and not me saying “Let’s Get It Started.” About effing time! I got a haircut today…

Honestly, I didn’t feel like getting humiliated at the Day Job. That has nothing to do with my hair… a lot. And why should I care what they think? Next to me, they killed Braxton.

Oh, had to get dark all of a sudden. You should have heard me and my boys’ potential future stepmom last night. This morning was more fun with her, but we’ll get to that, Echo.

Today you know what got me up this morning… Besides M Anime’s Yabbos? I swear!

What if I treated everything like when Braxton was dying?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Hell, I didn’t sleep! And today I was walking Virgil and saw, like, this yellow lump on his tail. He needs a bath. He could have Cancer. I don’t know. How do I deal, Inspector?

Under no circumstances am I blaming M Anime. I’m only pointing something out. She and I were talking Spanish (Te Quiero, Papi), she says. Anyway, we’ve also been talking about funerals and pop culture. So I told her about this show that I don’t believe I can stream again, but YouTube did the synopsis for it. And so for three days I’ve been diving into Asian series and cinema, and I finally found it. It was simply “Teen Regime” (2022).

So I remember the Yabbos from Saimin Seishidou and M’s

Definitely M Anime’s. Reasons I’m not dead… I will not dishonor Braxton; I have his little brother to be a father to, and I need to hear M Anime moaning “Papi.” Plus, I would never leave her to be a single mother. A MAN PROVIDES. He doesn’t cut\cum and run.

So why am I so effing exhausted, Inspector? It ain’t battle. And providing… That’s funny.

Again, I’m the guy who can’t afford new Kindle books, and yet I have to keep Virgil and myself alive, pay for a haircut I can’t afford, and, when I got back, contemplated getting “The Last of Us” for ‘my’ PS4. And I still blame MAGA. I was doing fine until the second term. FDT! Myself? Braxton, Virgil. I RAN

2012 Days Without B III, Day 1453 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Legacy 034 -Virgil’s Light, Braxton’s WAITLIST-

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Tuesday, August 4, 2026

Legacy 034 -Virgil’s Light, Braxton’s WAITLIST-

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Enough to get up when it’s light enough. But I need to get up earlier.

4 AM, like one of my favorite motivational speeches. 3 AM, as Eric Thomas preaches about. 2 AM, around the time I found Virgil creeping up this morning. Seriously, Love.

The sun, my firstborn son, my secondborn… And how many sons do we have with our three two-legged children? No, I didn’t forget. But with this world’s influence… Surviving MAGA…

Never a sure thing, but what I am sure about, much like Dante, is this. “In the middle of the journey of our life I came to myself within a dark wood where the straight way was lost.” But don’t I tell you all the time, “Baby You’re My Light.” Richard Hawley sings it better. And where do you think Virgil got his name from?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I swear if I die, Hell won’t be roaring fire but glowing screens. The Glow Box, Braxton would call it. And that’s my thought for today. My Illumination. Lightness? Beauty?

Honestly, am I “Feeling super, super, super su$cidal” every day? Really? But a little less.

I’ll tell you, I’m in plenty of pain today. Effing Blue Balls! Between having you as a life, the dark fantasies I have, and The Unfinished Archive… Strange thought, beautiful… Remember how I added Hana to the story last week. What? I really got into Kairi Sane for a bit. And then Tsubaki Miyajima and Sakura, the mother-daughter duo from Saimin Seishidou a couple of days ago. I was trying to get to know their characters so… “The Lantern Vault.

Not really my idea. The Magic Glasses/MIMA. Anyway, that’s what I need for me too.

Because the darkness… More sleep, my story, shutting my eyes as I finally let go inside your beautiful, tight… Okay, my balls can’t take that right now. The eff they can, but “Aziz Light! I remember the conversation we had about “casual sex,” and I asked why it would be casual, and what you meant was sex while I was doing something or relaxing. The Fifth Element would be the perfect movie to test that theory. I’ve seen it plenty.

Anyway, the thing is, life is heavy, the “Weight Of It All.” And all the sun does is illuminate my failures. Hellfire, the C-Train, Pop Culture. Virgil’s Light, Braxton’s WAITLIST

2011 Days Without B III, Day 1452 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters
Will