Meditation 141 ~Virgil, We’ll B Leaving~

There’s “Stuff & Thangs” I find. Fantasies, Actress names, reasons to cry, complain, or lose cash. But 400 words daily, 146,000 yearly, with 1,168,000 in 8 years. Was one Emergency, Escape, Exit, or Love? “Trump is coming…” “Virgil, We’ll B Leaving.”

Tuesday, November 19, 2024

Meditation 141 ~Virgil, We’ll B Leaving~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? My love for you is deep and unwavering. But the thought of leaving, the uncertainty, and the changes we may face, it’s a lot to bear. And the color blue is a reminder of my…

Balls? Bollocks? I should work on my UK English, considering that with each passing day, the defeat, the ending, and the finale of this grand experiment known as the United States of America draws nigh. For the record, today is Sunday, November 10, 2024. Am I still getting ready for the workday? I should be preparing to move us, love.

When the state of our country does not consume me, I find myself still mourning for my lost boy, Braxton. He was my firstborn, my strength during the first Trump Presidency. Virgil, “our” son, doesn’t have that same resilience. But as a father, I have to protect my family, not vice versa. This truth weighs heavily on me as I prepare for these uncertain times. Every single day… The sickness…

You want sickness. You haven’t even gotten to Tuesday, November 12, 2024, when I showed TeamSkeet Bipartisan B****e starring Melody Parker. That was the tip of the iceberg… My mind…

Businesswise, I’ve gone from what I spoke of last week… Dollification, Tentacles, Netorare/NTR, Voyeurism. There’s been the Midnight Sleazy Train Series. Characters such as Asuka Langley Soryu, Jessie Rasberry, and Jessie from TR. Yuffie Kisaragi has made an appearance. I just saw “Karen” again today, which is vintage anime. Keraku-no-Oh – King of Pleasure. And all that so I can finish my novel for NaNoWriMo. And even with all our money, we need even more. You know the man you married, my love. I mean…

Yasmina Khan and Jewel Staite are on the “reality” side. Even Cherry’s massive melons. Woo!

I say all of this, and why, my love? Because even with who I am and what I do, I respect women. Your body, your choice. But have you heard them since the election? Madness.

It’s madness that a black person’s life can be snuffed out. Speaking of the wrongness…

Land of the free, home of the brave indeed. “A city of justice, a city of love, a city of peace For every one of us,” as the song goes. What about a nation? Somewhere…

“We Gotta Get Out Of This Place.” I have more faith in my furry son’s spirit and/or energy. And the love you and I have, rather than the power that will descend January. Should we go? Virgil, We’ll B Leaving

1388 Days Without B III, Day 829 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 138 ~Braxton, Virgil, Go Play~

I don’t want to read, watch, or hear the news. To quote a REPUBLICAN senator, “I don’t want reality!” I haven’t since Wednesday, November 6, 2024. Hell! I haven’t since Sunday, January 31, 2021. Further? E-Day. So… fantasy? “Braxton, Virgil, Go Play”

Saturday, November 16, 2024

Meditation 138 ~Braxton, Virgil, Go Play~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Or I would be if I got my Tony Montana on… Push It To The Limit

Honestly, Lady Lunalesca… I’ve been working on my novel. If you’re wondering why I’m so late. You know, the type that I read or watch… But if I were watching, I would have to send Braxton and Virgil out of the room. I’m far too comfortable with B’s ghost. Energy?

Anyway. I haven’t had to kick out my boys because MAGA has made No Nut November far too easy. And that’s with me writing a story on Trafficking Crimes. Come now, Lunalesca, you know my favorite critic isn’t going to read this. Even if I tone down the outline/synopsis I’ve been working on for most of the morning. I am going to have to go shopping, or I’ll starve. Plus, Walmart gets funny with money.

Do you remember those earbuds that weren’t earbuds I bought the other day? I swear!

More like save that for my story. And speaking of books, I’m still debating whether to read about apocalypses, dystopias, and the world’s end. Or making Christmas babies. With all the bad news coming out of Washington D.C… Effing MAGA, I’ve been working the streaming services over time. Last night, I started watching Brave New World. I’ve read the book. And I saw this movie called Humane, which I wouldn’t be surprised if MAGA implemented. You don’t want to acknowledge climate change but (deleting) citizens…

But is my book world any better? Chapter 10’s Synopsis, Better Deal Days Are Coming:

William watches helplessly as Sofía makes love to Mr. Thornfield. William’s shoulder injury reveals to Sofía he’s The Director. Cherry teases William with her hand. William relives the night’s events that morning and debates with himself in the mirror how he will explain to Sofía his role in her occupation. Mr. Thornfield calls William to discuss ideas for more videos starring Sofía biblically. William is asked if he would like to quit. He refuses adamantly. Mr. Thornfield attempts to assuage William’s feelings with money. William and Cherry go to the bank. Cherry confesses Sofía was punished by the men in the Max-Mart restroom for William touching her during the escape from the hotel. William’s enraged. Returning home, William texts a girl for dating to forget what he’s done and will continue to do to Sofía. William’s doorbell rings, and he finds Sofía with pizza. Sofía says they need to talk.

Well, Lady Lunalesca, it was worth a shot. But my stories usually have twenty chapters, considering this is chapter ten, and NaNoWriMo has clocked me at 25,500 words. So far…

Why do I still feel so lazy and worthless? I had to turn on the heater today. We both know who’s footing that expense. What Kind of Man Would I Be if this was published.

Wealthy and able to pay my way in this world. But I send my boys away. Braxton, Virgil, Go Play

1385 Days Without B III, Day 826 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 134 ~It’ll B Over Soon~

Wife, girlfriend? I wanted Braxton to have a stepmom at some point. But he has a few “hot honorary aunts.” But what will become of them? What will become of America after she has been made into a… After this violation. I’m afraid “It’ll B Over Soon.”


Tuesday, November 12, 2024

Meditation 134 ~It’ll B Over Soon~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Can I still feel that? I love you, our children, my firstborn, Ma, Braxton’s aunts.

Virgil Vivi… And surprisingly, I can keep going. My businesses… Hell! My existence is love.

I didn’t just say that out loud? Speaking of things, I never thought I would speak. Trump will be the next president. Still, that’s according to the snippets I’ve gotten. I’ve turned on the TV once today. Wednesday, November 6, 2024. And I turned it right back off. I’ve tried to avoid Facebook, Instagram, X/Twitter except for “The Bare Necessities.” And YouTube is a no-go. I swear the words, “Trump Wins.” I’ve been sick to my stomach all day. And as I told Inspector Echo, it is reminiscent of the day I lost Braxton. Sickening.

I can’t help but draw a parallel between my Braxton’s passing and Trump’s victory. It’s a comparison that leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. It’s like comparing my deepest sorrow to something so distasteful, like my kinks and fetishes.

My beautiful wife, in these times of uncertainty, I find myself longing for your presence, your touch, your understanding. What can a man do in such times? Stand, Speak, Save. But most importantly, love. Somehow

Somehow… Just Survive Somehow, like The Walking Dead. That’s how I feel right now, my love. I’m sapped of everything. So what have I been doing since? Everything is 1984, The Handmaid’s Tale, Fahrenheit 451, Brave New World, and the list goes on, baby doll.

Funny, I call you that. When Braxton passed away… Oh, finally, some tears for Braxton.

Anyway, when he took his trip to The Rainbow Bridge, the world kept turning, love. There was still everything for everyone, but I was alone. And since 4:30 this morning…

Nothingness. I am a man.

A man with nothing to do and nowhere to go. I better use our money to get us out of the country. Yeah! Every penny is precious now. Every democratic politico. And every perversion… My desire for you, the young man I was in 2021, and for Yabbos, my love.

Dollification, Tentacles, Netorare/NTR, Voyeurism. Again, just to name a few things I’ve been researching today. And why baby doll…? Tony Montana was elegant in saying:

“This is paradise, I’m tellin’ ya. This town like a great big py just waiting to get f*d.” (Tony Montana)

That’s how I feel about America this second. And I don’t like it. I really don’t. Nope, not one little bit. The woman’s bored; I’m bored, or worse… A video when I pity the woman. America, my love. We’ll need each other to survive this… Violation. It’ll B Over Soon

“She’s the girl that guys marry, and I’m the girl that guys f***!” (Kill Theory)

1381 Days Without B III, Day 822 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 131 ~Braxton And Virgil Rage~

My son, B III, died on Sunday, January 31, 2021. His last great act was to see me through a Trump Presidency, COVID, and life. Now come January 2025. I see another on the horizon, and I don’t blame Virgil. I blame people. Me, Braxton And Virgil Rage.

Saturday, November 9, 2024

Meditation 131 ~Braxton And Virgil Rage~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And I am still angry. At what? I woke up late again. Grayson “cheated” on Robin.

Not really! I’ve read every Satan’s Sorority Girls title so far. Grayson is more popular than Lou Bega in “Mambo No. 5.” Robin, Julia, Tasha, Fiona, Chrissy, who’s next, Lunalesca?

Who’s next? What’s next? Donald J Trump. And that Lady Lunalesca is why I’m angry. I’m in a rage. And when I’m not burning, my blood runs cold. I’ve looked at my “special” drawer on multiple occasions. The cold steel. But I got Virgil to raise. And Braxton to mourn.

Though the tears I have shed this week have been for my country. And for the loss of Madam Justice, both figuratively and literally. I’ve started “my” FIRSTBORN series. This will be Braxton speaking through me. Braxton saw me through Trump’s first term. Apocalypse Buddy.

And the reason I will be seeing the ninth circle of Hell. Soon… The Ninth Circle is Treachery and Betrayal… Of my brother, I am guilty. Of my country, well, I did fail her, so I’m guilty. Of my God? I knelt to no one other than my son B. And beautiful women, way back.

Being Braxton’s father required sacrifice… But I have always quoted I am an equal opportunity misanthropist. And while I hate myself most of all, Lunalesca. People have been driving me mad since Election Day. And I dare compare it to the day my Braxton passed away. And this is the conclusion I have drawn. “Are you getting a new dog?”

“… but the truth is that I dislike most men as much as I dislike women. If anything, I am an equal opportunity misanthropist.” ― from Andrew Davidson’s The Gargoyle

Braxton’s body was still warm, and “my father” asked that.

Talk about hatred and stupidity. “My father” can call me STUPID all he likes and threaten me with slavery and death, but to spit on my son’s life like that… But as Anne Frank said:

“Despite everything, I believe people are really good at heart.”

And that’s what hurt the most. I watched the world continue after my son died, and I thought that it was a good place and “my” pain was “my” own. And that was that, Luna.

Now, nearly four years later, I see that the world ain’t worth nothing. People feel about America like my father did about “my” son. The fear, hatred, and stupidity. Sickening!

Lunalesca as Greta Thunberg put it: HOW DARE YOU! And it leaves me with nothing but rage. Yet I wonder how Braxton And Virgil Rage.

1378 Days Without B III, Day 819 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 127 ~Vote For Us B~

I may not have any two-legged kids running around yet. A childless dog guy. But today, I’m striving to be “Human,” an “Ordinary Human,” and “just a regular, everyday normal mother effer.” So, I’m going to VOTE for Kamala Harris! “Vote For Us B.”

Tuesday, November 5, 2024

Meditation 127 ~Vote For Us B~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And I don’t care who you vote for… Though I see the woman I married.

But being the man you married… It’s days like this that show I’m not the worst. However, if MAGA has its way… How long could I remain in business? “Remember, Remember the fifth of November” (A day of historical significance.) So today, I choose not to stay in this bed. “For The Love of You.”

For the Love of Us. Because I’m not Jesse Watters. And as much as I want to break out the Lee Greenwood soundtrack… My inane, insane, and downright ignorant thoughts…

Well, they don’t involve MAGA in winning today. If you want to know my thoughts…

Somebody “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’” when I go to vote today. Every day is an opportunity to see my son Braxton, who passed away. How many people have read that?

But B resides in the kingdom of Heaven… The Republic? The Rainbow Bridge, my Love.

Only today is “All About You” baby doll. The world I want you to be safe and happy in along with our daughters. I envision a country where our sons will grow up to be men and not whatever MAGA is. “What Makes A Good Man?” “Isn’t It Ironic?” Seriously.

Playlist creation at a time like this. Anyway, what I’m trying to say about good men is this. I can look at myself as a good man for once because of the one I raised, my son Braxton. And I’m much better than those evil ones in the red hats. This is Madness! Or Stupidity! Bear with me, my Love.

THIS IS AMERICA!!! Childish Gambino meets King Leonidas. I swear, “Where Is My Mind” Love? The Last Voter by Chris Dietzel. I should have read that again before today. Instead, I chose Braxton. I’m reading another pet loss book. I need to pay attention today.

At the voting booth? My Love, voting for Kamala Harris is the easiest choice I’ll have to make today. I have a harder time voting for who has the best Yabbos ever morning… Just Kidding… those would be yours, my Love. And as much of a businessman as I am. I mind my business, which is you and our family. Effing MAGA has no place.

Democracy will win ‘Cause I believe that Love is the answer.” Vote For Us B

1374 Days Without B III, Day 815 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 124 ~Be Characteristically Braxton, Virgil~

What do I want to be when I grow up? My son. My Braxton. We don’t want to tell kids to be like Trump or MAGA. Uh, I’m 40 and possibly looking at the end of freedom if Kamala doesn’t win. And I’m worried about me. Be Characteristically Braxton, Virgil

Saturday, November 2, 2024

Meditation 124 ~Be Characteristically Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… But Trump doesn’t use such big words… Why should I? Yes, Lunalesca, I may get political.

But let’s focus on me for now. And why am I so late? Bad dreams. But I can’t remember any of them. Another reason I’m late. It was either watching all the Yabbos bouncing in my face or reading about them… Sasha, Jessica, Lexi… “Some Guys Have All the Luck.”

Only not my boys, Braxton and Virgil. Yesterday, as I was trying not to starve, I thought to myself. If only I could have my Braxton’s courage. And what about Virgil? If only I didn’t have his damage. Things I don’t know about him. What does he fear about me?

Being left out? As in banned from the bedroom. Virgil didn’t use the training paper. Here’s a thought. Buy him his own training pad. Hmm.

I don’t want him on Braxton’s bed—ever! But sure, use B’s bowls, big pillows, and bathroom space. And speaking of marking territory and making a mess, there’s Election Day.

Lunalesca, I will be playing the part of a “Law Abiding Citizen.” How do THEY say, “I’m just a regular, everyday normal mother effer.” Lunalesca, “What Makes A Good Man?”

This leads me to today. I know plenty of bad men or rather people. “I am an equal opportunity misanthropist.” And while I consider myself better than MAGA, My Lady…

Braxton, my son, is a far better man than me. If I could be half the man he was, I would consider myself truly blessed.

But I find myself existing as he did in those final days. It’s like living ‘Livin’ On A Prayer ‘, constantly on the edge of losing everything. Haven’t I? REALLY!

And how many songs am I going to rip off? I finished reading earlier. And looking up Asuka Langley Soryu is not productive. Anything to avoid looking into a mirror.

Lunalesca, how can I be bothered to save the world when I couldn’t save Braxton, who was my whole world? And I keep coming back to this simple truth. Virgil is here. I mean, couldn’t they be bothered to vet me? Fifteen years is a long life. Only yesterday afternoon…

Then you wonder why I don’t value my existence. All I want is to have a family someday. Lunalesca, we would be far from “UNEXPECTED GOATS.” But today, I’m like Winston Smith from 1984 (last man), with some Far Cry 5’s Faith. But someday, I hope to be like Braxton. And show Virgil a better man. To one day have a family that reflects their characters. Be Characteristically Braxton, Virgil

1371 Days Without B III, Day 812 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 120 ~They’ll B Time Virgil~

Everything can wait. But love can’t tell time. How long was I sitting on the bench waiting for the news that my son was dying? How long was I at the altar waiting to leave my father and mother and be joined with a wife? I’m 40. They’ll B Time Virgil.

Tuesday, October 29, 2024

Meditation 120 ~They’ll B Time Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Not enough to forget Braxton. You’d never ask that. But enough to love myself. Hehe

What a way to start the day, huh? Honestly, the day should have started at 4:00 AM this Friday, October 25, 2024. 3:00 AM? I can only be me, not Eric Thomas, my love. And when did I last listen to one of his motivational speeches? Or hear the voice, the bark of my Braxton.

All I hear these days is the ticking of the clock and my grumbling. Moaning…

Honestly, I wish they were yours. Must everything be “stuff & thangs?” My raison d’être.

For the longest time, I felt that was to be B’s Dad. To have a family. He will always be. Only there’s you, our children. Hopefully, my Ma. What about Virgil and my sister, too?

Not that I make time.

That’s what’s bothering me today… More than my B III being gone? More than my next breath? More than my birth… Emergence Day? And how about the next pair of breas… um, Yabbos that wants a job. There’s never enough time for pain, pleasure, personhood…

And why am I so pressed for time? Nowadays, I could say politics. Constitution, Freedom. And all of the buzzwords that are being thrown. But there’s always time to say that I love you. And it could be another lesson from Braxton. If I gave him all my love, what was left for me? Or did he know I had love to share, and now that he’s gone, I can and should? Even at forty…

Is there time for me to learn how to love? I don’t write love stories. But writing is my first love. Or so it was. Now, when I look at my schedule. It could be even worse. If you knew what my old Day Job calendar looked like. The way I would get sick. In Hell, my love, there’s enough time for weeping and gnashing of teeth. So, is that why I’m still alive? Nope

I tell myself it’s to keep Braxton alive. I would do anything for him. And that’s why I stay so busy. Or I’m sleeping. But haven’t I been taking energy shots lately? Or rising for…

Jewel Staite

More Yabbos or anything close. Love, let’s be in our bunk. And afterward, with this existence. They’ll B Time Virgil.

1367 Days Without B III, Day 808 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 117 ~Braxton, Virgil, Damn Unpretties~

My B only knew “pretty, pretty girls” who weren’t evil. V had a year and a half without me. He cries, “Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen.” Yes, women bring trouble. Politically, pre/post-Halloween, porn… “Braxton, Virgil, Damn Unpretties.”

Saturday, October 26, 2024

Meditation 117 ~Braxton, Virgil, Damn Unpretties~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now, meaning I can afford a decent cable or satellite package. And there’s time to watch anything.

If I wasn’t too busy crying over Braxton. For your information, I wasn’t. And Virgil woke me up earlier than usual. Hell! He even watched me play a few rounds of TWD before his nap. So why are we talking at 8:40 AM? Because I was looking up Monster Girls. Lady Lunalesca, it’s the “Time of the Season.” Everybody know I’m a mother effin’ monster.

Yeah, when I’m busy moaning over Piper (Viper) Niven. With some Cherry mixed in. Lu? I have a thing for some BBWs. Girls other say they’re what? Unattractive and unpretty. And for those from Gilead, “Unwomen.” We’ll get to that, Lunalesca. If Braxton hadn’t already broken my heart with his passing, I’d say a few of these “broads” broke it.

Now, before I was breaking any vow of abstinence… chastity… self-fulfillment over a pro-wrestler… which I still miss, you know. I finished reading Backyard Dungeon 14: A Reverse Portal Fantasy. The protagonist, Eddie, added a human to his harem’s roster.

Lunalesca. So far, he has a (takes a breath) Elf, Half-Demon, Elf, Orc, Goblin, Spiran, Succubus, and Dryad. But human women are something else entirely. I should say all humans. A reason I need stress release with the state of the country. The whole world.

And dare I say one more reason, I never found Braxton a Mom. And as far as Virgil is concerned? Sigh. I’m still looking for the son I lost. And Virgil could use a Daddy.

Unfortunately, where have I been? (Takes another big breath). Exhales:

  1. Siren
  2. Shiva
  3. Sorceress Edea
  4. Sorceress Ultimecia
  5. Princess Ruto
  6. Dimitrescu Sisters: Bela, Cassandra, and Daniela
  7. Countess Alcina Dimtrescu
  8. Maria, Silent Hill 2
  9. Bubble Head Nurses
  10. Cecily Moore
  11. Lilith
  12. Cosplayers

Monsters, Creatures, the possessed, what have you. And that’s off the top of my head. But Lunalesca. More than Halloween. At the Day Job, they already have me working Christmas shenanigans. It’s people. The visual department lady supports Elon Musk!

Jessica Rey? You know I loved her as Alyssa Enrilé in Power Rangers Wild Force. She’s a Trump supporter! Eww! And there are a few MAGA women… (Cue Homer Drool).

Lunalesca, I’m a monster with such handsome sons. In this world, Braxton, Virgil, Damn Unpretties.

1364 Days Without B III, Day 805 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 113 ~Air Braxton’s For Virgil~

So, not a dime left for 2-V’s day? I got a bag of food. V only drinks bottled water. I’ve never given him a slice of hot dog or cheese. What took my B… Virgil could use a nail trim. Would that be a treat? Two days ago, maybe. Air Braxton’s For Virgil

Tuesday, October 22, 2024

Meditation 113 ~Air Braxton’s For Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? My love for you is boundless, and I want you to remember that. I cherish every moment we share, and I hope you never tire of hearing me say it. Is this what they call words of Affirmation, baby girl.

Unfortunately, my love language isn’t receiving or giving gifts. And it isn’t Quality time with us speaking so early. Today is Friday, October 18, 2024. I wish I could go back to… What? Sunday, January 31, 2021. The day I lost my firstborn son Braxton.

Honestly, my love, I’m thinking about Tuesday, October 20, 2020. The day V was born.

And me being the selfish pri… person I am. I continue to imagine Emergence Day. Everything that I bought for myself. Well, other than food-related. Air, space, and being alone.

If only my Old Man had left my mother alone. “I don’t wanna die. I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all.” That’s the God-honest truth, my love. Wow, Michael Jackson and Queen. Hmm.

Michael Jackson would be great for a party… two days ago. Virgil’s birthday is Sunday, October 20, 2024. What am I getting him? Can you imagine what I’d buy you? Or how about any of our kids that walk on two legs? Or crawling. “Feel like makin’ love to you.”

I told Lady Sophia how I was reading about the Graham family in Everything Dies: Season One. Vincent, his wife Kristin, and their daughter Emily. I was going to say I can’t imagine the heartache, but I had to watch my son Braxton breathe his last breath. And when’s the last time I’ve taken a breath that wasn’t for or about my little boy Braxton.

But there’s another little guy out there. My little Virgil.

And I ain’t doing a DARN thing for him. He’s turning four. Giving him air and space isn’t helping. What? I was gone less than an hour to pick up sour cream, BBQ, and a burger. So um… I kicked him out of the bedroom for making a mess on the floor. And he’s been pacing around ever since, waiting for me to forgive him. An Act of Service. Hmm. He’s been extra cuddly lately, and it’s been cold, but by the click-clack on the floor, he could use a groomer’s nail trim. What about buying a new bathroom space so the floors stay clean.

Anything that didn’t belong to my Braxton. Like my heart? We’re Between the Sheets. But Virgil… Air Braxton’s For Virgil

1360 Days Without B III, Day 801 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 110 ~Preparations For Braxton, Virgil~

On Oct 19, 2019, I was in a hotel room in Rockford, Illinois, preparing to attend a wedding. It was the longest B, and I had been apart since fighting with the Old Man. And love is a long, long road. Be prepared, huh? Preparations For Braxton, Virgil

Saturday, October 19, 2024

Meditation 110 ~Preparations For Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I have a bunker somewhere. A few “pew, pews.” A pretty girl for loneliness…

Eww! Can I stop being gross, just for one day? Can I stop missing my Braxton? How about no, Lady Lunalesca. How about putting Virgil first? Tomorrow is his birthday.

Preparations? If Braxton, my firstborn son, and Virgil, my second son, have anything in common, sigh. I wasn’t ready to find either one of my boys. Braxton showed up in my Old Man’s hands one night. And Virgil showed that he could use a training pad. A testament to my laziness. And I wasn’t ready to lose my little B. But despite me being a meanie, I’ve been panicked every now and again over Virgil.

But again, what will I be doing for Virgil’s birthday? Lunalesca, last night was bad. Honestly, I can’t even remember it. Mad at the BBBQ. Sad for myself. And bad. I could really use your support right now, Lady Lu.

Be Prepared. Isn’t that what THEY say? That’s why the bed makes the perfect spot, my lady. “If I lay here. If I just lay here.” I could’ve saved Braxton. And what about saving “my” country. MAGA might take Virgil because… “First let me explain that I’m just a black man.” Was that supposed to be funny, Lunalesca? Today’s politics… It’s why I stick to fiction. I’m still not over Everything Dies: Season One. And then there was a movie.

The Substance… Well, I saw it. And I want it… And speaking of want. Again, there’s Little Virgil, who wants a better Dad. I wasn’t prepared for my two boys, but Braxton got a Dad, and Virgil got a father. Guardians of the Galaxy, much. I feel like I’m failing as a man, Lady Lu.

And that is something I’m never prepared for, like an effing zombie virus. It’s inevitable.

My… Passion! Though I haven’t really thought about Zoe Saldana since The Losers. And I’ve seen Pom Klementieff’s Yabbos because the algorithm knows me too well. But who’s Yabbos was I staring at today as I fought to rise to this seated position, Lady Lunalesca?

Of course, there was Cherry’s. There’s a nurse from Silent Hill. Oh, B’s honorary aunt.

Not her Yabbos! I’ve seen them. I just remembered her wedding to her former hubby.

The preparations it took to get to her wedding day and, according to her, “ain’t nobody humpin’ around” back then. I haven’t been humpin’ around in years. And loving anyone? Myself? Preparations For Braxton, Virgil

1357 Days Without B III, Day 798 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will