Tag: Books

Journey 150 ~B’s Real Ending, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

As the song goes, “Death Is Not The End.” I’m not a religious person. And I’m dumber than most. But I still talk to my firstborn son every week. And I have enough trauma from the Day Job that I’ll never forget that place. B’s Real Ending, Virgil

Friday, November 28, 2025

Journey 150 ~B’s Real Ending, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Not a review? I’ve caught up a little on my reading. Day Job? That comes later.

But the FEAR is here. And what do I compare it to? Isn’t it Ironic, it feels like B… dying?

“Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.”
― William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar

Braxton, my son, is not a coward. That would be his scaredy-cat, skeevy, and STUPID father. Did I mention STUPID? Again, we’ll get to that Lady Sophia. But when did Braxton’s story end? Was it covered in syrup as he dug into “my” French Toast? Was it wrapped around my sister’s bedpost? How about when I told him to get in the car? His choice. Was it standing in front of me, teeth bared at his grandpa, ready to fight and die for me? Was it walking to his water bowl, trying to prove he was okay? Crawling into my lap? Looking into my eyes…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

I swear I haven’t cried after losing M Anime three months ago. And the Day Job has me scared to death. But it takes Braxton to bring on the tears. His One Shining Moment, hmm.

But he only died once? Virgil and I… I named him after Virgil, of course, the man who guided Dante. Vivi was a black mage from Final Fantasy IX with a short lifespan. And Virgil’s already as white as a ghost… And he and I wake up thinking, why would we wake up? Effing dumb! It’s “Christmas Time in Hell.” Please don’t remind me. Tears?

Honestly, how will I pick out the Christmas Erotica I want to read? Didn’t I eff that tradition when MAGA took office? You remember Sophia:

  1. Brave New World
  2. 1984
  3. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
  4. It Can’t Happen Here by Sinclair Lewis
  5. WE by Yevgeny Zamyatin

A lot of good it did me. STUPID as I am, I didn’t understand my Ma asking me to come and pick up Virgil, and my Thanksgiving dinner. Yesterday, Thanksgiving was catered by the food truck up the street. And of course, all the stores were closed. And Black Friday!

I’m not walking into any store today. And I’m trying to understand the words “Unexcused Absence Exception” since I didn’t go into the Day Job this morning. But I did get all dolled up, and why? Broke, Fired, and Unemployed are words I know, Sophia.

Or do I? Panic Attack, Anxiety, how about love? Would I have done it for Braxton? What did Meatloaf sing:

That’s The End. Fatherhood. Manhood. Braxton. B’s Real Ending, Virgil

“And I would do anything for love
Oh, I would do anything for love
I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that
I won’t do that.”
Song by Meat Loaf ‧ 1993

1762 Days Without B III, Day 1203 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 146 ~Daddy, B, V, She~

WillLeave a comment

There are too many days I’m worried about. Braxton lived moment to moment. I promised him… A good Dad? I tried to be. Siblings? Well, Virgil was the first. A step-mom and two-legged siblings. It’s been three months since my breakup. Daddy, B, V, She.

Monday, November 24, 2025

Journey 146 ~Daddy, B, V, She~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Don’t believe me? You haven’t cried all day. Not even for M Anime. Your third month without her. Me?

That’s all it took for your eyes to glaze over. You would have listened to my playlist all day and been bawling your eyes out. But like father and son, right? Or from King Ezekiel.

“And yet, I smile. For we will mine glory from the rock of struggle this day. We will honor and protect this… this bastion of life in a land of the dead, and we will win. You trust the king… we will win. I smile… I laugh… I rejoice this day… for on this day, we are joined in purpose and vision… we are of a singular heart and mind. On this day, we are one!”
King Ezekiel, Some Guy

Honestly, today is the closest we’re getting to “that week.” The ending of January 2021. I’m supposed to be the one who makes you feel better, Dad. And neither one of us likes thinking about that week. But I remember. You didn’t think I knew, but I did, my father.

It helped me to take my mind off myself. I worried about you, and you were trying not to hurt me because there was such… RAGE. You were never bad. You simply kept your distance. Virgil is just like me.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Distance meant my brother and I slept at the foot of the bed instead of right next to you, Dad. You even had to play sick today because I think you’ve decided what to do.

Wednesday, Friday? You got Chicken Noodle Soup and Sprite. Black parenting. I remember when you were really sick, and I would lie beside you. Virgil again is very much the same. And M Anime. She was gone before E-Day, Virgil’s Birthday, and whatever is going on now. The Bad Place? We both hate the Bad Place? But you would tell me that’s how you got me French Fries, so you had to go there even if it k*lled you Dad. And if you go in on Wednesday or Friday… Don’t think that… To join me.

Heart attack, stroke, and any other disease that MAGA and the Cracker Hats have unleashed. I was there for the entire Trump term. FDT! But this isn’t about them, Daddy.

Today isn’t even about M Anime. She’s been gone three months, and she gets nothing.

“I’ve been gone, I’ve been gone for way too long.” “Only God Knows Why,” or as you would say, only Braxton knows why. Today is “All About You.” Again, like father, like son. Or more like the tunes of Jeymus Samuel and “The Book Of Clarence.” What about your book, my father? My book. Virgil will get one someday. M Anime has several. And why? Because of the Day Job. You’re scared, seething, but also somebody. Daddy, B, V, She

“I really don’t want the end of creation to be my fault.”
Succubus Lord 3

“Evil is nourished and grows by concealment.”
― The Aeneid

1758 Days Without B III, Day 1199 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 145 ~B’s For November, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

If I can survive this week… I’ve said that since B died. Hell, I’ve been saying that even longer. Only then was it the next five minutes. Today? Other than some “C.R.E.A.M.,” the green, and a bimbo queen, why did I wake up? “B’s For November, Virgil”

Sunday, November 23, 2025

Journey 145 ~B’s For November, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I ain’t gonna sugarcoat this. As if you can sugarcoat anything. Baking, Cooking, Grilling. And so…

If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen. You got enough Hell as is, and I’m sorry. I did all I could, but the next couple of days are going to be less turkey and more chicken. And Hell, who knows if you’ll still be eating at all. Panic Attack, Anxiety, FEAR!

Monday, November 24, 2025, is the three-month anniversary of your breakup with M Anime. The woman hasn’t said a word. Uh, her wedding to the NEW guy is coming soon.

And you can’t forget the whole humiliation with the speaker and the truck crew. EFF!

Tuesday, November 25, 2025, you have to talk to the manager to get trained in “Return Drop,” or tell her you just won’t do it, and prepare to face the penalty, no Day Job, Fired?

Wednesday, November 26, 2025, you either run like a b*tch when you have your Panic Attack, or you don’t go at all. And what about facing your fears? Excuse me! (Starts to laugh and cry madly). I know that’s not funny. Honestly though, ain’t happening.

Thursday, November 27, 2025, is Thanksgiving. It was arguably Braxton’s favorite day of the year. Virgil gets much less. But that’s not his fault; sadly, your Ma sends less food.

Friday, November 28, 2025, will be a repeat of Wednesday. If you kept the Day Job, then you’ll lose it now. And while trying to recover from seeing your Olds, the question then becomes, “What now?” STAY ALIVE. Ok. But speaking of Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 7 His Sorority Harem by Neil Bimbeau
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

So there it is in black and white. But what about green? You made around eighteen bucks this morning. I swear, here I was thinking about the magic glasses and people make Augmenting Reality, AI, or Alternative Facts, as those effing MAGA Cracker Hats would say, real. FDT! But “It’s a wicked world that we live in. It’s cruel and unforgiving.” But “The Transplants” from writing to video and back again, well… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As Yet To Be Found
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Nothing is impossible… You could show yourself right now, hugging your sons. Braxton and Virgil united. You could write an erotic story for a client and dollar, dollar bills, y’all.

Make that C.R.E.A.M. while someone creams. But November’s grade? F! Eff! B’s For November, Virgil

1757 Days Without B III, Day 1198 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 143 ~Braxton And Virgil Turn-In~

WillLeave a comment

I haven’t read about anyone taking my Day Job shifts. Am I anxious to read my Day Job walking papers? What do I know? I was reading the wrong book today. And if I intend to finish my one book a week… But if I don’t work… “Braxton And Virgil Turn-In.”

Friday, November 21, 2025

Journey 143 ~Braxton And Virgil Turn-In~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… That’s assuming I can still read. Do I still have the money to buy more books?

As of this moment… Yes. Even if I’m reading the wrong book. And Braxton knows what’s going to happen on Wednesday. I’m still STUPID, sad, and scared out of my effing mind, my lady. And speaking of ladies, wanking off to some girl making out with her boyfriend isn’t helping. Eww! Sounds like something I’d read in a book not meant for B and V.

Happy memories? You know I don’t do happy Sophia. But I was reading books featuring Cuckoldry, Netorare/NTR, and Harems long before my “Relationship” with M Anime even began. And now I think I keep going because much like reading about fur buddies passing away, reading about voyeurism, lovers being used, exhibitionists, and yes, harems, there’s something therapeutic about it, Sophia.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

But then again, no 150-word Depression cap. I’ll be as sad as I want to be over my B III. The way he and Virgil do now, sleep when I’m reading things they shouldn’t read and things I don’t want to read. Although what I was reading this morning… Accidental.

“Pledged To Him 7” by Neil Bimbeau. Except I never read “Pledged To Him 6.” Seriously, my lady, my boys aren’t the only ones who need to turn in. Not that I sleep well, Sophia.

I look at the alarm clock as prisoners must do on their last day. Someone said love doesn’t tell time, but neither does FEAR. Every minute and every moment. Sorry, McVries.

Honestly, Sophia, like Peter McVries from “The Long Walk.”

“Don’t think about making it to the end. Think about making it to the next moment,”
McVries, The Long Walk

“He lost his appetite for the carrot.”
The Long Walk

I’m more like Stebbins. But it isn’t that I lost my “appetite for the carrot.” I see it, I want it, but I’ll never reach it. And even if I get to rest a while and take a bite. I CAN’T DO THIS, Sophia. “I dare you to tell me to walk through fire.” Shinedown and all that. I can’t.

I read my Day Job schedule. And if I can’t do as they ask, then… I’m reading a pink slip.

At best, I’m reading a report on my record. That’s if I’m lucky. I’m fortunate to be the father of two. However, one of them is now in a box. And Virgil. He doesn’t read the bag, but he’s got food. Braxton And Virgil Turn-In.

1755 Days Without B III, Day 1196 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 139 ~Braxton, A NOISY Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

It’s day-to-day for me. Is it the silence or the noise that scares me more? The alarm clock, 2-V crying, and everyone asking me why I wasn’t playing DJ today. Or B III’s loss, my sleeping, and the augmenting of reality… Braxton, A NOISY Virgil.

Monday, November 17, 2025

Journey 139 ~Braxton, A NOISY Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Not just noise, not the sniff, sniff of my nose, or in other words, breathing. Not nothing or never.

But your son. Though right now, to you at least, I sound like the Can You Hear Me Now” guy from Verizon. That was one of the great things about us, Dad. You talk a lot about how Virgil has my eyes but our ears. Scary, sleepy, satisfied, whatever we heard, everything and then some. And then there was the silence. We were safe, Daddy.

Honestly, how do you feel after today? We’re talking over “The Weeknd” ha-ha because today, well… What could I tell you that you would believe? Steve, Bob Marely, and I.

I want to say that “every little thing is gonna be alright.” “Everything is gonna be okay,” like Blue’s Clues.

I remember Steve from Blue’s Clues. Pokémon. I would sit in your lap as you played video games. The wonders of the glow box. You even did the Dad thing and said it would rot my brain when you left it on when you went somewhere. The bad place? Negativity.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

I won’t add to that noise, Daddy. If anything, one of the best sounds in the world spent in front of the glow box was you, me, and my Favorite Girl watching movies together. Dad?

Next to you, hearing how I would call to you without a sound. It was your breathing, the beat of your heart. The being you, not just with me but with her. Second Favorite person…

Yeah, that wasn’t family. But I hope you hear when I say this. My father…

You are my person, my human, my Dad, definitely my Favorite Boy. And today Dad…

You’re still breathing, you’re alive. That’s the noise I long to hear on days like this one, Dad. Is it better when Sia sings it? “Alive?” It’s not like you got to listen to it at the bad place, right? As you would say, that’s not negativity; it’s simply the truth. And you are here, Dad. But if I were there in that bad place with you, I’m sure that my barking would have stopped anyone from asking you anything to hurt you. And Virgil wants to cover one of your ears as you have an AirPod in the other. There’s noise and what’s worth listening to. And what is that? Braxton, A NOISY Virgil

“You’re a special person to the universe in ways I don’t think you know.”
― Bikini Magic by Michael Dalton

“A hideous noise of shouting rose to the heavens as young men fought and fell under the iron hand of Mars.”
From ― The Aeneid

1751 Days Without B III, Day 1192 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 138 ~It’ll B Done, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Even Jesus said, “It is finished.” Then again, what do I know? “War, war never changes?” I’ve done some pretty effed up things. And in the words of Rambo, “Nothing is over! Nothing!” And I’m not done. Braxton, Boobs, Books. It’ll B Done, Virgil.

Sunday, November 16, 2025

Journey 138 ~It’ll B Done, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I wish today’s question were this. Did ancient Egyptians use contractions? The Mummy? “The Mummy Returns?

I go to see one movie, and next thing you know, a bunch of other stuff comes out for sure.

Fifty bucks! Thirty-five for “The Running Man”: a small popcorn and a blue raspberry Icee. Ha! And another fifteen at the food truck. What is left for you? Apologies friend.

Honestly? The best favor I could’ve done you didn’t get done. More FEAR, less funds.

Seriously, you’re effed! But you have your sons, Braxton and Virgil, new sins, and sleep. Well, not today, since you still need to eat, which means a trip to the store is in order, friend. What have you been doing with all your time? Is “Whiteout Survival” that damn serious? Oh, and finishing Bikini Magic. Eight minutes. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Bikini Magic by Michael Dalton
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

You have to get back into the habit of being positive. Do you remember that game “Two Truths and a Lie?” You’re a positive person. You miss M Anime. And you’re not a good man. Too easy, but I am sorry I’m coming down on you. Twelve hours. Nothing done.

MAGA, the Cracker Hats, and the president are so much worse. FDT, always and forever.

You would be a much more benevolent ruler. Quite the pharaoh, if you will. And leave it to X\Twitter to show you that there are lines you won’t cross. Evils that must be opposed. And that’s why you’re looking at me and I at you. When, oh when, my lord?

Tomorrow, my “Sweet Lord?” You playing DJ? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As Yet To Be Found
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You think the LOD won’t be letting you do that again. One more reason Monday is going to suck big time. You want it to be over and done with already. Hell, you wish it was done before we even met. That’s why you lounged around in bed. Again, Michael Dalton’s “Bikini Magic,” a full-out warring on the phone, and ten bucks on yabbos. Any yabbos, which is an effed up way to play people. You want to be done. E-Day, B’s passing, M’s leaving. And like I said yesterday, you’re standing, “Stand by Me.” You’re on “The Long Walk.” I get to sit down. Now you have to run. You’re “The Running Man” today.

Nothing is done! Until next week… It’ll B Done, Virgil

“Everything is done.”
Michael Townley

1750 Days Without B III, Day 1191 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 136 ~Braxton, Virgil, Moving On~

WillLeave a comment

Run boy run… On the grounds that I want to make it back to my bed. Any move I make is towards being on my back, be it reading a good book, some beauty’s boobs, or joining my Braxton in what lies beyond the Rainbow Bridge. “Braxton, Virgil, Moving On”

Friday, November 14, 2025

Journey 136 ~Braxton, Virgil, Moving On~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… And it always begins with my boys. Doesn’t it? Will I even finish Michael Dalton’s book?

Better Bikini Magic than the thought of losing my Braxton, always and forever. But Soph?

There are two things I must make 100% abundantly clear. One, I know that’s not healthy, or at least that’s what all the pet loss books preach. And two, there is no such thing as ACCEPTANCE! Is Braxton gone? Yes. Is Virgil his reincarnation? No? He eats from Braxton’s bowl and dish, for God’s sake. He is not the “Return of the Mack. Do I exist in a universe without the physical manifestation of my firstborn son? Always and forever.

So “Papa Don’t Preach,” and “Mary Don’t You Weep.” No Woman, No Cry.” But me?

Well, I won’t be keeping that 150-Depression Cap today. There are too many stories, Sophia.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

How many will I buy today? Ones that I don’t have the ability to change in any way, shape, or form. Like the thirty-six bucks I spent at the movies on Thursday. “The Running Man.”

We’ll get to that. But I want to talk more about the subject that’s been plaguing me, or rather, all of us. Artificial Intelligence (AI), Augmenting Reality, or as MAGA puts it, Alternative Facts. It’s everywhere, my lady, and last night showed its corrosive effects.

Thankfully, I ain’t that asshat in the Oval Office FDT! Dumping “waste” on people, Eww!

But it’s like a writer’s power. Again, I think about my EX, M Anime. She joined a harem, and it gets me off thinking of her spreading her legs. Eww!

Cuckoldry/NTR. I don’t kink shame, my lady. Unless, um, you dump on people. Or feet.

None of that was in The Running Man last night. However, they did say some rude things about Ben Richards’ wife. And I wanted to do some obscene things to Laughlin/Katy O’Brian. Will I ever move on from yabbos, my yard stick, and doing you know what, my dear lady? Hell, I can’t say I’ve moved on from 1987’s “The Running Man.” But 2025’s well…

The story resonates with what’s happening in the world today—another Stephen King work indeed.

Seriously, he is one smart Mothereffer. I wish my novels were like that—the story of my life. Virgil will keep his. Movie receipts. Dog food. Braxton, Virgil, Moving On

1748 Days Without B III, Day 1189 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 132 ~Crawl of Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

A hop, skip, and a jump; more like carrying, to teaching how to walk, and then B was jumping on the bed. Hell, he slept there like I did? And now… breakfast. Not in his final days. He climbed and crawled, and I carried him. “Crawl of Braxton, Virgil”

Monday, November 10, 2025

Journey 132 ~Crawl of Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Did you have a good day? I should ask, did you have a good night? You look like… Dad.

On top of being colorblind, you always looked like you, Daddy. A contradiction of what I said last week. Perhaps. You were louder sometimes. Some humans say, Love is Louder.

Another thing you humans say is that something is larger than life. You were Dad—a god held in the arms of a titan. We never said that, but the angel on your shoulder, Dad.

That’s me. And ladies’ men… Greta, my favorite girl, that maid Special K. M Anime…

Always and forever, forever and always. That’s what you taught me, my father. You live!

Ain’t that the thing, you live by that. “If you call, I will answer.” Isn’t that a Barenaked Ladies song? Do I know you, Dad, or what? That band name…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

But “Love Is A Long Road”, it’s wobbly first steps, a walk through the neighborhood, and “The Way” I made it onto your bed the first time to have a taste of waffles. French Toast?

I don’t recall what it was, but did you ever think it wasn’t the food that called to me, Dad?

I’m not an elephant, nor am I a ladybug, or an Asian Lady Beetle. I’m not an ant, my father. One more reason we’re having this conversation. We’re back on ants again with the weather. They want to get warm, find something wet, or get waffles. Or it’s you, Dad.

The wrong things want you, dark thoughts about a woman, that little dog, and my brother Virgil, and the dead.

Are we those wrong things? Really? It would explain why you don’t “Put One Foot in Front of the Other. Dad, “One Foot In Front Of The Other.” You’re not trying to drown me out.

I learned how to walk, jump, and fly because of you. That’s not negativity, but the truth, and I’m so thankful and will forever be. All I ask is that you do what you taught.

Honestly, I do mean being a jetsetter because again last night I felt it. Father. FEAR is not meant to be always and forever. I once called to you, I climbed to you, and crawled.

Daddy, Till I Collapse. Virgil is learning to do the same. Some women will. Your turn. Crawl of Braxton, Virgil.

“If you can’t fly, then run, if you can’t run, then walk, if you can’t walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.”
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

“Through chances various, through all vicissitudes, we make our way…”
The Aeneid

1744 Days Without B III, Day 1185 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 131 ~Tao Of B, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Another early morning, another book. Three bucks for a thirty-page book? And how many books have I written about a woman taking her clothes off? What about B’s book? That was out in August, and here I have no Day Job hours or sales. Tao Of B, Virgil.

Sunday, November 9, 2025

Journey 131 ~Tao Of B, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Which reminds you, go and pick up some soap, have a shave, and forget who she is.

You know, the woman who has you looking up Taoism. Religion on a Sunday morning…

Before the Asian woman, it was “Polly & Her Boss,” because “Lord, Heaven’s above” you finish “Bikini Magic” by Michael Dalton. And Kelli Wolfe’s “Dark Desires” wasn’t available on Amazon this morning. It could be worse—nothing on pet bereavement.

Honestly, “I’m only human after all. Don’t put your blame on me,” or you today. Music and manuscripts, so “Just a day, just an ordinary day.” And you’re saying to yourself, “I’m just an ordinary human.” It’s some people you can’t say that to anymore, and I’m sorry about that. Not to sound psychotic but less people equals more peace. And with this coming week. Depression and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Polly & Her Boss (Collage Girl Erotica) by Kelli Wolfe
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Oh, you’re going to need all of the words now, I must say. The song today is all about you.

As in “All About You” song by Jeymes Samuel. As if they’re ever going to let you control the speaker in the stockroom ever again with your playlist… Really, why is this at the forefront of your mind? Music is meant to bring you peace, except with other people, ha.

And that’s your problem. People? You are not one of the people. Even in this place, you were one person before Sunday, January 31, 2021. And then you became a different person—one before Saturday, August 13, 2022, and then another. Before Sunday, August 24, 2025… Now you’re different again.

And now you’re thinking about M Anime. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Bikini Magic by Michael Dalton
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You’re existence is not natural or harmonious. “I’ve been let down. I’ve been turned around. I’ve been misused and so confused.” And you will be too. Even though you have no hours and all you have is Virgil. Not that you’re blaming him. He’s a good boy, little 2-V. But blocking out the noise, the tick of the clock, tiny bug feet, and tinkling finances. Even your motivations are sorely confused, you even have to toil, trust the process, or trust what will flow to you. A little bit of everything. Today, this week, what will you do, hmm? Chase the rabbits or grow the garden. Meditate better to Levitate with a woman or join Braxton. Tao Of B, Virgil

1743 Days Without B III, Day 1184 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 129 ~Father’s B-Roll Advice, Virgil~

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If you want my advice, “Go To Sleep.” I told Braxton that all the time and on his last day… I don’t have to tell V that. He hopes he can get beside me without me pushing him to the edge or back to the foot of the bed. “Father’s B-Roll Advice, Virgil”

Friday, November 7, 2025

Journey 129 ~Father’s B-Roll Advice, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… 1983’s “A Christmas Story.” My favorite Christmas movie, though I don’t give a damn about Christmas.

Hell, “MY” favorite Christmas story didn’t even happen on Christmas. It was when my Ma got me Pokémon Stadium for the N64. I became an atheist around that time, Sophia.

Next to that, there was the Christmas I was playing the N64 before “Santa arrived…”

Wait a minute… Atheist? It was before I became a DogDad, a father. While I cannot say “I Believe” in America anymore. Effing MAGA, FDT! I won’t believe a soul like my Braxton was lost to the void. And Virgil is my child, too. I believe as I believe, Sophia.

Honestly, why? It’s just the way I am, as Eminem put it. So you’ll have to excuse me today, my Lady. No, 150-word Depression cap. I’m going all in. So…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Sorry, not today, Lady Sophia.

Ok, I wish I had never been born. It is why I’m not qualified to advise my sons, my Lady.

But stories, these words, these words, these words, they have power. And my stories, uh.

Inspired by TikTok, I’ve been rereading “The Scorpion and the Frog.” The moral of it.

Comedy comes in threes. My son B III. His brother Virgil has three black spots along his back. And ask me what I care about in this existence. The boys, Braxton and Virgil, and sometimes even myself. Second, books and writing. Lastly, bucks or boobs/yabbos.

I swear a fool and his money… “I Need A Dollar” for food, but I pay to WATCH women eff because that’s the man I am. I lose friends, Sophia.

Family? What about a future? Hell, my effing sanity as I’ve been trying on positivity.

Only I can’t be a prolific writer, programming myself into a pornstar and puppy papa.

“A man chasing two rabbits ends up hungry; A wise man grows carrots.” Not a whole story… But again, words I can’t forget. No wonder I’m so tired, I’m trying to be “Many Men.” Not “Just A Man,” and none of them are good. The writer doesn’t get paid, the programmer does bad things, though I made $12. And the puppy papa? Well, V’s alive.

But what do I tell him? What did I tell Braxton? Be good, puppy. And as far as advice for myself? There are questions without answers. Father’s B-Roll Advice, Virgil

1741 Days Without B III, Day 1182 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will