Tag: Ending

Tale 251 ~Braxton and Virgil’s Rager~

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Like father like son… I’m not calling 2V that. But I wanted to vomit on the notice over the time clock. And V went and vomited on the bed. Hate, like Stupidity, is an illness. I won’t pass that to V. But drowning in anger? Braxton and Virgil’s Rager.

Friday, March 8, 2024

Tale 251 ~Braxton and Virgil’s Rager~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… Or should I be more like the Day Job, stating rules and facts? Reading those Sophia…

It makes me feel more gross, humiliated, and angry than cleaning up after Virgil today. And for the record, I’m not mad at Virgil. But more at myself. It’s like that time I had that Buffalo Chicken Pizza from Pizza Hut. Now, that was sickening. Should I write a review?

If only there were time. How about being in the mood? There’s also the fact that I’m such a lazy… Well, you know. I’m mad at the critic, too. You heard the song Braxton sent.

“Hells Bells.” But upon reading about it, I could be wrong. Or crazy? Inevitable, right?

Because, As I’ve said on numerous occasions. I will never find Acceptance in B’s passing. So anger, once again, finding its way into my grief…

At least it’s keeping the embarrassment to a minimum. And the fact that I hear Virgil chowing down in Braxton’s room means he has no plans to join my “Lost Boy” anytime soon. But still? You remember I hid my anger from Braxton. And now Virgil is getting all sick. Would it help if I talked to Virgil about it? Better yet, don’t share chicken.

Madness, Lady Sophia. What was I thinking? It’s like me drinking alcohol. It’s good, but… Well, you can ask Braxton’s Aunt. But at least I kept all the gross stuff in until she left. Thankfully

Speaking of gross things, there is still my rage. It’s always me and the Day Job, Lady Sophia. STUPIDITY, FEAR… where does it all go?

I finished reading “Backyard Dungeon 6” this morning. But no, I won’t give you a review on that either. But now I need a new book—as if I haven’t bought several already, Sophia. Sigh.

My reading history… Like regular history isn’t supposed to be all sunshine and lollipops. And reading about a “Ray of Sunshine” that has been lost. And saying, “She’s a Ray of Sunshine” in all the other books. For the critic: reading about dogs and girls…

Sophia, I need to read books on rage. While talking to you, I even looked up one of those rage rooms. I need somewhere to put all of my wrath. Because wanting pain, hurt, and…

It’s making me sick. No Fun! Braxton and Virgil’s Rager

1132 Days Without B III, Day 573 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 250 ~B A Ruler Virgil~

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Braxton and I were/are just alike. We both want to run things. And we were both mistaken by the people who thought they were better than us. Virgil and I are alike. We both have no idea what we’re doing and try to avoid trouble. B A Ruler Virgil

Thursday, March 7, 2024

Tale 250 ~B A Ruler Virgil~

1131 Days Without B III, Day 572 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You were always thinking about my days. These last three… The Second time I’m crying…

I can laugh too when I remember one of the rules you gave me. Or was it more advice, B?

The best legs, breasts, and thighs come in a bucket of chicken.
Braxton Barks Bradford

I told myself I needed to start asking for your advice more often. But we’ll get to that B III.

Do you remember the four rules I gave you while you were here? There was a fifth one after we had “The Talk” about you and your Aunt Carolina or Augusta, wherever she is now. But there was, don’t go #2 in the house, don’t steal, and respond whenever I call. Braxton, the oldest, was don’t bite the hand that feeds you. You’re a Smooth Criminal. Braxton, your Daddy’s not.

That’s what brings me to you now. Uh, every Thursday. Every day, with today being Wednesday, March 6, 2024. I’m still reeling from the Day Job. And a part of me doesn’t want to talk about this. But I would. But my indifference led to our… separation, B III. Death…

I continue to think of the critic and the Day Job. Confusion, Madness, and Humiliation.

So, as I told Inspector Echo this morning, at the Day Job, a new rule appeared, much like the one about “my” wearing earbuds, or how I wrote to that coworker or the one about wearing a jacket around my waist. Only this new rule was about food, Little B.

Already, I can hear your voice, Braxton. You and food…

QUIT! Isn’t that right, Braxton?

But that was both of us every day. You never got to see my Day Job. Can you smell it? Eww! That’s the reason I washed my hands before holding you. That place is gross!

Anyway, I’m pretty gross. That’s why I’m not mad at the rule—because I’m guilty. It’s this: the necessity, implementation, and humiliation—everything that comes with the rule, B. Your Daddy’s foolish pride, you know.

Things would have been so much simpler if I had listened to you, Braxton Barks.

Inevitable. I could exist or rather live as you would want. I could quit. And there is always writing, which was our path out, Braxton. If I’d let you run things. Like getting steak for dinner? B A Ruler Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 245 ~Virgil’s B’s In Math~

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When was the last time I woke up refreshed, rested, and raring to go? I could do the Math, but I don’t want to think about 40. Or how about the 1126 days without my son? And my financial situation? It’s already wrong. Meanwhile. Virgil’s B’s In Math.

Saturday, March 2, 2024

Tale 245 ~Virgil’s B’s In Math~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… which means I could pay for any sins I have committed. But I won’t… I can’t…

I’ve got two boys but only one son… Is that why I finished another fur baby book this morning and went into reading Backyard Dungeon 6? Guilt sucks, Lady Lunalesca.

Inevitable that I haven’t learned a thing. And yes, I know this is a conversation better suited towards Lady Sophia. But as I told her about my high school experience. I failed a lot of classes because I would instead read than anything. And how have I educated myself? Before I returned to the world of humans, half-demons, elves, orcs, and who knows what else. All in various states of undress, mind you. That I have one less boy, Luna

I only don’t know if I’m talking about Braxton or Virgil for the time being.

And next to my financial situation. Time is the worst. Take, for example, us, Lunalesca.

Why am I late talking to you? What was it I said about clothes? I was at five days. And now I’m at three hours. A French woman said men don’t know a tongue’s purpose.

Lunalesca, I face the same predicament with my hands. One on a mouse or holding a phone. And the other. I swear the critic is going to love hearing about that. And if we count up the A.I. Because “Only God Knows Why,” I can’t afford a wife or family.

Meanwhile, Virgil is hiding in Braxton’s Room. That gives me time to add up coin. Lunalesca, where I left off, I have about $860.00. Refund.

Oh, that’s nothing! It’s much worse, seeing as how the Math is already off, Lady Lunalesca. I imagine. There are better places to do all of this than sitting in bed. Like those college ads?

No. Do any of those people sit in bed? They have much more fortitude than me, for sure, Lunalesca. They are looking towards their futures. While I’m contemplating buying a personal pan pizza. And how long I’ll have to recover from food poisoning. Ah, memories.

How about asking myself how long it takes to get over an addiction? What to grieving, grabbing a part of myself, and griping about 2V not being B III? Reincarnation…

Lunalesca, I ask again. Have I learned nothing? Zombies? D-Average Math? Virgil’s B’s In Math

1126 Days Without B III, Day 567 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 244 ~B Takes Flight, Virgil~

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Words are flying around everywhere. That’s why I’m careful with the words before my eyes. And in my ears. Says the guy reading about grieving again. And complaining about winning a book. Could I publish “my” book? Well, B’s. “B Takes Flight, Virgil.”

Friday, March 1, 2024

Tale 244 ~B Takes Flight, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… I mean it this time. Before I rotted “my” BRAIN with a phone. Before BRAXTON. BIOLOGY…

Marine Biology or something like that in high school. I had high hopes for myself back then, but even then, I knew better. I wanted to be a scientist of some sort. And now, I’m not even a good writer. And I only learned how to buy shrimp. Or grill it… in the microwave. Science, my lady. But maybe I should get to the point. If I’m not thinking about B, there are humiliations galore.

Anyway, here’s the story, my lady. So I’m sitting in Marine Biology that day, reading The Amber Spyglass by Philip Pullman. There’s this girl mad about something, don’t ask me what, but… She ended up snatching “my” book and hurling it at someone, and I had to retrieve it. Humiliating

It’s not much of a story. But the reason I’m thinking of it now is because of this. Instead of having a book snatched away, I had a book hurled at me today. A Kindle book. Must I be overdramatic about everything? You’re talking to the guy who believes his dead son sends him music.

Whatever. Today’s song was Black Hole Sun. And the book I was sent, “Never Be Alone” by Paige Dearth. Think of all the times I’ve thrown my name into the hat for a book. And I finally won this one.

“Maybe God Is Tryin’ To Tell You Somethin’,” as the song goes. But as I’ve said, I don’t talk to God anymore. Not since Braxton’s death. “It” had “it’s” chance.

Sophia, if I hadn’t told you before, I would say that God is a woman. Write that down right. Hmm.

That’s something that would go flying off the shelves so they could burn it. And what about everything else that I have written? Do the words go flying off somewhere? Do you see the dollars flying towards me? I see them flying away. It has been a hard week, money-wise. And who’s fault is that? Yet I want to buy more books because winning them doesn’t help with “my” mood.

Sophia, what mood am I in today? The day has only begun, and I’m careless, confused, and coming apart. And with all the rain? The only flying I’ll do today is to The Land of Make-Believe. B Takes Flight, Virgil

1125 Days Without B III, Day 566 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 243 ~B Leaps, Virgil Believes~

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So, Leap Day? Did this existence go the distance in leaps and bounds? I can say with utmost certainty that every step I took today was worthless. Other than for keeping food in V’s mouth. And B? Unless he returns from Heaven. B Leaps, Virgil Believes

Thursday, February 29, 2024

Tale 243 ~B Leaps, Virgil Believes~

1124 Days Without B III, Day 565 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You know what I think? You were/are my son, not my Old Man. So honestly…

Today sucks! Life sucks! And every day I wake up is one more day I wish I didn’t have to. But I don’t blame you for that, Braxton. Nope. This was long before you. Existence.

Indeed, it was on an E-Day when I turned seven. I believe. If there was any day that should simply vanish. Not that I have anything against those born on Leap Day. I should have done something today. But no. As I said, today sucks. It’s called waking up, B.

Brought to you by the Peter Gabriel song, “Down To Earth.” B III, your Daddy’s a little weird. But I’m ok. I didn’t slip in the shower, fall off a ladder, or tumble downstairs. Ha-Ha! Too bad for me, right?

I’m sorry, Braxton. Besides everything… There’s the fact that I said I’m ok. It’s like when I tell people I’m here. That’s a lie. The only time I TRULY lied to you… Your box, Braxton.

And second, is the fact that I’ve been trying to join you. Going on for 1124 days now B III.

Which brings me back to the song. You know, a day I wish was just gone. Sunday, January 31, 2021. Anyway, I remember you lying there, and we were at eye level, but you’re above.

So it could be that I want you to come back Down To Earth. But that’s selfish of me, right?

Or maybe if I was going to do something “special” today. I could go all Black Panther with it and burn the “funeral garments.” The black and red hoody. There’s the Las Vegas T-shirt I got. What about your bed I won’t let Virgil touch. And the paperwork B III.

Take the leap? I wish I had thought of it before. But there’s also the fact that I’m lazy and broke. I don’t want to see my 40th E-Day, but that could be a plan. At some time, my son.

B. The song could mean that I’m falling instead of stepping, jumping, or leaping in existence. But I did that anyway. You just got me to my feet every day. That was enough for me.

Virgil? White dog can’t jump. Virgil couldn’t “save” Dante. I’ll RISE? B Leaps, Virgil Believes

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 238 ~Virgil’s Catching Some B’s~

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A vet told me what took B III. I know what took B. And I can only hope the sleep I gave him… Hell! It would be a fitting punishment if I never slept again. Or I always sleep alone. Let it be an exercise in futility. Anyway, Virgil’s Catching Some B’s

Saturday, February 24, 2024

Tale 238 ~Virgil’s Catching Some B’s~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… Once upon a time, I listened to this motivational speaker, Eric Thomas, talk all about sleep.

Mainly regarding rich people making their wealth. Is there any wonder why I’m not? Lady Lunalesca, I would rather be wherever BRAXTON is, in the BED, or BENEATH some girl.

But my boy always comes first. And I haven’t been hearing his voice lately. A song here or there, maybe. Only I’m much too lazy to do anything about that. I should say, Sorry, B.

Yet that word has been raining all over these babes I’ve been talking to. And no, it’s not about my proficiency in the bedroom. I’m pretty proud of that, my dear Lady Lunalesca. To be honest. Can’t I leave my pants on for a second? Getting a haircut requires concessions.

No, I’m not trying to sound all smart like Cherry.

That’s not me being a douche. I don’t even have the energy. But I find it so I may read Cherry’s stories. Speaking of tales, there’s still Princess Tamer to finish. A book every week.

Only how many will I read before I join B? You don’t know how badly I wished to take his sickness upon myself. “Let me take his place somehow.” As the song goes. But no.

Luna, I do not close my eyes to pray but only to sleep. Hell! I don’t see the future. I take that back. I don’t see a bright future. I did hope for more on Valentine’s Day. Have we ever talked about that? Yet it seems that M Anime forgot about me. Who’s Epstein Barr?

Or instead, what is the Epstein-Barr Virus? Let me say as someone who values Physical Touch as a love language. Uh yeah… I’ve got nothing. I’ll be sleeping alone, Lunalesca.

Virgil is hiding in Braxton’s room doing anything but sleeping. Because if he were in here, he’d be an old man way before his time. B deserved his rest, Lunalesca. Which is what his aunt wishes I would do with my sadness. Give it a rest. Though she’s no different

Lunalesca, I did see pictures of her on a beach, though. Smiling Faces Sometimes… Not that she’s betraying me or anything. I mean, she’s been down for some time, Lunalesca.

Stupidity is a virus, along with sadness and sex… It’s tiring. Virgil’s Catching Some B’s

1119 Days Without B III, Day 560 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 237 ~Virgil Rereads Braxton’s Life~

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I feel like chicken tonight? More like Beef, it’s what’s for dinner. That is if I get to 90% reading about gamer babes. And talk to two women today. But when B was here, I could do the impossible. Ok, I would try. Now “Virgil Rereads Braxton’s Life.”

Friday, February 23, 2024

Tale 237 ~Virgil Rereads Braxton’s Life~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… Or am I trying to predict the future? I’ve got the Day Job with my schedule.

A schedule that has me talking to you from bed this afternoon. On Wednesday, February 21, 2024. The rest of the week and next. Hell! Even a few minutes from now, with what I’m about to text my Old Man. I still speak like a child with a bad report card. And it becomes more humiliating when I tell you I’m thirty-nine. Shame, Honor, Manhood…

Do I even have much of a brain left? This morning, I spoke to Inspector Echo about “adult” books. And now I’m talking to you about humiliation. And may I always remember my B III.

Where’s his book at? Why haven’t I shown his eulogy? Braxton deserves so many words.

What do I deserve, Sophia? I want a steak dinner.

But that’s only if I make it to 90% through “Princess Tamer: A Gamelit Harem Fantasy Adventure (Hyperia Online Book One).” So, there is no book review for you today. I’m sorry. Sophia, I suppose I could tell you about “Outbreak Rising.” Here’s a question.

What good are either of these books doing me? Hmm?

As I said, I still have my Day Job. And its only purpose is to keep my son alive. And now V. But I was trying to read the instructions at the Day Job to assemble a loveseat and… Uh!

Humiliations Galore! Much like the message I just sent my Old Man. This is the life of Braxton’s Dad. Coward!

Too lazy, cowardly, and with my stupidity, how dare I attempt such things, Lady Sophia?

To live instead of just existing. Hell! Braxton was/is my life. The negative downturn… It happens whenever I think of Braxton’s end or my lacking one. So I’m still talking…

Words have power. Will they bring B III back from the dead? It’s funny that he’s the one who’s gone. But “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me,” a zombie. How about the Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz? Nah! I’m one for monsters—a fondness for the dead.

And if I finish talking to you AND Madam Justice today, it proves I still need a brain and deserve some flesh. Preferably for eating. Did I just say that?

If Virgil, anybody knew, Braxton’s story… Virgil Rereads Braxton’s Life.

1118 Days Without B III, Day 559 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 236 ~Virgil Looks Up B~

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Meanwhile, my bank account won’t be looking up forever. This is America… A $1,000.00? Ha! But I can get my ears lowered. I can get 2V’s nails cut. And I can dial down my crazy with music, movies, and manuscripts. But B’s… Up there. Virgil Looks Up B.

Thursday, February 22, 2024

Tale 236 ~Virgil Looks Up B~

1117 Days Without B III, Day 558 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? How’s Heaven been treating you? The Rainbow Bridge? Things in my broken heart… Wherever B.

All I know is this. I’m here. And I hate looking in mirrors. I still miss looking into your eyes.

What about V’s eyes? “Not a trace of a doubt in my mind” B, that when people saw us together, they knew you were/are my son. And I continue to believe in “He Lives In You.” That’s one reason I should take better care of myself. At least, right? Good Luck, huh? And again, I look to Virgil. I haven’t claimed him as a son yet. Like a child looking to be formally adopted… But the first time I saw him, he reminded me of you. I should have taken the eye doctor up on new glasses. Yeah, I know, Braxton, I’m being a meanie.

More like a douche, which is what I called you remember? My little douche. And while I shouldn’t say that, it’s not like the critic cares. My words have been such a mess that I haven’t heard from them. Other than you need to get professional help or some therapy.

I don’t have the funds for that Braxton. But with my windfall… It’s that what I’m calling that $1,000.00? It’s less now, considering I should pay off the termite guy sometime this week. Bills? Goody.

I’m time traveling. Today is Monday, February 19, 2024. And I was talking to Madam Justice about the house falling apart. But how about me and Virgil? Again, no doctors. But I could get a haircut. Dog Bath, Nail Grind…

If you’re looking down on us from somewhere, we might as well be “Lookin’ Fly.”

I swear, Braxton, I will make a playlist of all the songs you send me on any given day. I should have something more than songs that make me cry thinking about you, B. Sigh.

I remember the days I would look up from my naps and see you sitting on the corner of the bed. You were on guard duty protecting this room that I never want to leave. Virgil looks to you as if wondering how he can make me happy. Again, Good Luck to him. You couldn’t do that either. You could only make me a Dad. Someone worth something. Can Virgil? Hope. Virgil Looks Up B

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 233 ~In The Ending Lies Judgement~

WillLeave a comment

My Old Man asks me, how’s the house. But at the end of 2023 and the start of 2024. The fence is falling, the floor’s flooded, and I’m trying to fix the shelves… So, sitting here in Limbo. Besides the house, there’s my B. In The Ending Lies Judgement.

Monday, February 19, 2024

Tale 233 ~In The Ending Lies Judgement~

Three-Hundredth And Thirty-First Rule

Madam Justice
Rules Are Made To Be Broken… Because I didn’t join my son. I won’t lie to you… Braxton’s end should have been mine.

Not a day goes by when I’m lying on my back, fighting to keep my eyes shut for the day.

Or when I’m lying on my belly like a slug, grinding away to some video or picture of, you know what. If you’re wondering why I’m so late talking to you today, my dear friend.

How about when I’m playing with the toys I showed Cherry on Sunday? I’m gross.

But I’m also not dead. Even though this is “The End.” It’s the first song that B III sent me.

Remind me not to watch anything to do with Vietnam, Madam. Or reactions to the film Forrest Gump. I ain’t no “Fortunate Son.” Neither was my Braxton. But he’s gone. And Hell’s not for him.

Only if he’s waiting for me, Madam J. But no.

What a way to start a Monday morning. It’s Monday here in Hell! Though I’m not hot because of the punishment I deserve. With Princess Tamer, Succubus Lord, The Gargoyle.

Is there a Hell for being too bright? That’s funny. If all my reading made me a wise man? But I read that The Third Circle of Hell would be a match for pride. “Gluttony.”

How STUPID have I been to realize that I am living in the center of The First Circle of Hell? A Thirty-Nine-year-old man who talks to pretty, pretty girls. Who has his OLDS paying most of his bills? A fur baby I mistook for Braxton. And lives from his bed?

I hate myself. I’m not V’s best pal. And again, my B is gone. How will I be judged? Hmm.

I could make decent showings for every circle but Treachery… But, I swear, Lake Cocytus. And I don’t know how to swim. I hate being cold. And aren’t I always? That’s one more argument for me being in Limbo. No matter the weather, I am always in a hoody, Madam.

And if I’m not, I’m usually taking my clothes off. And what good comes from that ever, Madam? With Virgil walking around everywhere. I can forget about any alone time.

So, what ending am I working for? Unless I’m wrong, Madam. And this is Purgatory.

And in fixing my existence… In The Ending Lies Judgement.

1114 Days Without B III, Day 555 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 231 ~Later V, Later B~

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I’ve said this so many times. The last thing my son would hear before I left out the door was, Love ya, B, Love ya, Braxton. Now replace later with love, and you have V’s days. But as far as loving myself? Nope! It’s always later. “Later V, Later B.”

Saturday, February 17, 2024

Tale 231 ~Later V, Later B~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… And even if that happened… At this very moment, I would already be late. Braxton’s gone.

Well, I have one more year… Hell! You could give me “A Thousand Years.” It’s not the “1st of tha Month” yet. And you’ll always hear me singing about “Another Day…” I’m sorry about the playlist, Lady Lunalesca, and critic. I had a terrible nightmare during my “cutting off alarms” nap. I needed something to take my mind off things. So there’s that. And also I’m listening to Lofi Girl. Looking up more songs will make me even later. Sigh.

Not that I have anywhere to be today. This whole week, it’s been the Day Job. And keeping Virgil and me alive. If he and I have anything in common, it’s this one question. Why?

The both of us spend more time sleeping than anything. That was great for Braxton at fifteen, but Virgil will be four. And that’s if I make it to forty. If anything happens to me… In the best-case scenario, Virgil goes back to the friends he left when I “rescued” him. If only I had been later, Saturday, August 13, 2022. Virgil, AKA Archie, could have had better luck than meeting me. But no! I continued to search for Braxton’s reincarnated self. But, like God, I was wrong. Way wrong…

And I’ve been feeling wrong for quite a while now. 1112 days. But today, Lunalesca…

I knew I was late. Yesterday, on Thursday, February 16, 2023, was The Cherry Collision. Lunalesca, that explains why I was so hot, hard, and horny looking up Kininaru Kimochi. Better the hottest girls in the nastiest situations… Wraith Babes?

Then again, I wish I could have the woman I love telling me she’s late. But I have yet to find her, Lady Lunalesca. Again, at my age, why bother even going out? There’s Virgil.

Only I still want to see my B waking up late. He could keep the Grim Reaper waiting a little longer. Lady Lunalesca, 2025 was going to be the year. Would I be ready? Ha!

I’m not ready for today. On top of everything else, I still have to read one whole book today. But everything comes later. Or it’s me being a “Lazy Ass.”

As the late Carl Weathers, AKA Apollo Creed, said, “There Is No Tomorrow!” So… go outside? Later V, Later B

1112 Days Without B III, Day 553 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will