Tag: Failure

Meditation 137 ~Braxton’s Free Stories Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I’m not reading any more stories about what will be done to this country. I’m a black man with zero two-legged kids and two four-legged ones. One is a “ghost” whose story I haven’t published yet. My own or Braxton’s Free Stories Virgil

Friday, November 15, 2024

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Well, yes and no. There’ll be no book reviews today. And Braxton speaks on Monday. Today…

Well, it would be “inappropriate” to tell someone you love that you’re reading another book to get over them. Or I will be for the end of November. How many books on pet loss have I read this year? Counting the last one that I bought, it would be seven. The year before, I read fourteen. And in 2022, I read forty… Forty-one if you count The Christmas Rescue. Do you remember anything about that one? Something other than relations?

Is it healing, closure, or ACCEPTANCE? The thought of the latter sends shivers down my spine, My Lady. But even that is preferable to the relentless onslaught of bad news that seems to be the only constant in this world. So why do I keep seeking out this bleakness? Hmm.

Lady Sophia, I’m not talking about the things I must “live” through. I swear, I wake up every morning looking for a grave. All I need to do is turn on the lamp. Oh! There’s Braxton in his box. But where is Braxton’s story again? There’s always editing, My Lady.

There’s always something else. Decisions that have to be made… Or not. I’ve been thinking about next month since I’ve decided what to read to close the month. But December…

It has been my TRADITION to focus on Christmas “Romances” throughout the closing of the year. But still, I can’t shake the feeling that I should do something to prepare for the apocalypse inbound. Oh, like buying food? Please! I couldn’t get it up to go shopping today, Lady Sophia. I meant as in books. I’ve read the classics like 1984, The Handmaid’s Tale, Brave New World, etc. So that’s the choice. Do I read about making Christmas babies in a world ceasing to exist? Or do I study and prepare to witness its aftermath?

Again, I couldn’t go shopping today. So, I should work on the novel I’m writing. At the moment, it’s… Nightmare At The Meat Market (Working Title). Eww, right? Why is that, you ask. Put the words “Glory” and “Hole” together. Or look up that scene between Yukiko Minase and her professor in Bible Black Only. That’s this morning. I would have to send Braxton out of the room for these movies and stories. What about Virgil. Uh, where’s my kid?

Excuse me, I’ve been working. I’ve “written” about nine chapters get these titles, my Lady:

Chapter 1: A Sneak Peek… Piece… Peace (Antonio)
Chapter 2: Taking The Red Light Special (Cherry)
Chapter 3: The Meat Market: Take One (Sofía)
Chapter 4: How To Make A Sale? (William)
Chapter 5: The Art Of Selling Door-to-Door (Cherry)
Chapter 6: The Job Market: Take Two (Sofía)
Chapter 7: Life Of A Delivery Boy (William)
Chapter 8: Ravishing… No Refunds Or Returns (Antonio)
Chapter 9: Balls To Change The Schedule (Sofía)
To Be Continued

Do you see what I mean, Lady Sophia? When I’m in the zone, the ideas flow like a river, carrying with them the mistakes, the madness, and the entire manuscript. It’s a whirlwind of creativity, and yet, it often feels like I’ve accomplished nothing at all. But I keep at it, because that’s what existence is, isn’t it? Alternative Facts.

Isn’t that just the American way? And yet, I can’t shake off the feeling of impending doom for this country. While THEY continue to be paid, I’ve wasted most of this morning, My Lady. AGAIN!

You’re my friend, my fan, and now my fictional editor… I don’t tell fairytales; I read and write, and for what? Braxton’s Free Stories Virgil

1384 Days Without B III, Day 825 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 132 ~Braxton, Virgil, Hang Around~

WillLeave a comment

My boys have been hanging around more than usual. Braxton’s “Energy” is writing a new testament come Monday with FIRSTBORN. Virgil knows I’ve been worried about the Trump Win. And even the nicest Yabbos leave me hanging. Braxton, Virgil, Hang Around.

Sunday, November 10, 2024

Meditation 132 ~Braxton, Virgil, Hang Around~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And November won’t be so HARD for you. Seriously… In terms of No Nut November… Good Luck!

Other than that, this month has been very HARD. And “Isn’t It Ironic, with everything.

Even now, your stomach is in knots. And you are feeling pretty wired. Energy shots.

Today, it’s as if you’re hanging by a wire. That’s been me all last week. It won’t be getting any better. Everything went downhill when you put your pants on. More like the moment you wake up. Why didn’t you hang around in bed as I have been doing? Mourning…

You’re asking yourself what have I roped you into. It’s less than Braxton’s passing away.

Though you still feel it’s all your fault from a very good dad to a voter and now a villain.

Donald J Trump will be president. Your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Jack McAfghan: Pawprints from Heaven
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 008, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 015 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

None of it is going away as fast as your “Stuff & Thang” in your pants. The last time you felt anything “down there,” you had just finished your book for the week. You’re lazy…

“Taking The Team.” And before that, there was “Polly & Her Neighbor.” Come on, man! And both of those were right after Jack McAfghan and his human Kate McGahan’s book.

When it comes to the lewd reads, you can think worse. For example, there’s “Karen.”

Do you see that? Do you see her? You would be all Bad to the Bone. However, Virgil is still lying here. He’s been hanging out a lot like B III’s… Spirit, Ghost, Energy, Whatever.

Everything’s hanging like the sword of Damocles. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Taking the Team: An explicit hotwife group menage, Lolita Minx
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 015, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

So you’re looking for something HARD to plant under your feet. Is it not HARD enough being a black man in the heart of Trump’s country? Trump nation come January…

That’s why I called Braxton back. You’ll hear his voice come Monday morning. But he’s…

You know, you know, but are you saying, “Give me something to believe in?” I swear I was talking to Braxton the other day. And how he says he speaks to you like Bumblebee’s radio. How do these songs pop into your head like something out of Limitless? You know?

Beats the snapping of a neck… Choking? Virgil’s whining at a closed-door… Or you moaning anytime you pull your pants down at a pair of Yabbos. Braxton, Virgil, Hang Around

1379 Days Without B III, Day 820 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 131 ~Braxton And Virgil Rage~

WillLeave a comment

My son, B III, died on Sunday, January 31, 2021. His last great act was to see me through a Trump Presidency, COVID, and life. Now come January 2025. I see another on the horizon, and I don’t blame Virgil. I blame people. Me, Braxton And Virgil Rage.

Saturday, November 9, 2024

Meditation 131 ~Braxton And Virgil Rage~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And I am still angry. At what? I woke up late again. Grayson “cheated” on Robin.

Not really! I’ve read every Satan’s Sorority Girls title so far. Grayson is more popular than Lou Bega in “Mambo No. 5.” Robin, Julia, Tasha, Fiona, Chrissy, who’s next, Lunalesca?

Who’s next? What’s next? Donald J Trump. And that Lady Lunalesca is why I’m angry. I’m in a rage. And when I’m not burning, my blood runs cold. I’ve looked at my “special” drawer on multiple occasions. The cold steel. But I got Virgil to raise. And Braxton to mourn.

Though the tears I have shed this week have been for my country. And for the loss of Madam Justice, both figuratively and literally. I’ve started “my” FIRSTBORN series. This will be Braxton speaking through me. Braxton saw me through Trump’s first term. Apocalypse Buddy.

And the reason I will be seeing the ninth circle of Hell. Soon… The Ninth Circle is Treachery and Betrayal… Of my brother, I am guilty. Of my country, well, I did fail her, so I’m guilty. Of my God? I knelt to no one other than my son B. And beautiful women, way back.

Being Braxton’s father required sacrifice… But I have always quoted I am an equal opportunity misanthropist. And while I hate myself most of all, Lunalesca. People have been driving me mad since Election Day. And I dare compare it to the day my Braxton passed away. And this is the conclusion I have drawn. “Are you getting a new dog?”

“… but the truth is that I dislike most men as much as I dislike women. If anything, I am an equal opportunity misanthropist.” ― from Andrew Davidson’s The Gargoyle

Braxton’s body was still warm, and “my father” asked that.

Talk about hatred and stupidity. “My father” can call me STUPID all he likes and threaten me with slavery and death, but to spit on my son’s life like that… But as Anne Frank said:

“Despite everything, I believe people are really good at heart.”

And that’s what hurt the most. I watched the world continue after my son died, and I thought that it was a good place and “my” pain was “my” own. And that was that, Luna.

Now, nearly four years later, I see that the world ain’t worth nothing. People feel about America like my father did about “my” son. The fear, hatred, and stupidity. Sickening!

Lunalesca as Greta Thunberg put it: HOW DARE YOU! And it leaves me with nothing but rage. Yet I wonder how Braxton And Virgil Rage.

1378 Days Without B III, Day 819 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 130 ~B’s Stories Or Virgil’s~

WillLeave a comment

If I could tell you a story about “Kamala Harris’s Win,” I could have given you a book review of a guy “having fun” in college. But it is the real world, reality; my stomach hurts, and I don’t want any stories. What about B’s Stories Or Virgil’s

Friday, November 8, 2024

Meditation 130 ~B’s Stories Or Virgil’s~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… What? No book review? Every day, existence doesn’t end. And who will tell “my” story? Why?

When I’m in no mood to write one. That’s another reason I won’t do a book review right now. I mean, what story would you like to hear, my lady? The stories out these days…

There are stories of victory. But not Kamala’s. I’ve been thinking about what THEY call “The Hero’s Journey.” Kamala Harris had all the elements of that. And as I often sing, “First, let me explain that I’m just a black man.” And I have a black Ma. So Lady Sophia:

“Because you’re (his) mother. Mother is God in the eyes of a child” Silent Hill.

It’s not hard to believe that a black woman would save us. But it’s not her fault now, is it? I keep comparing this election to the loss of my son. It’s a sick world; I signed paperwork, and then…

Love dies? And I mean all of it. You know I love Braxton more than I love myself. I haven’t told Virgil that I love him. I swear he and I have more of a Ben-Hur vibe, and that’s sad.

“We keep you alive to serve this ship. Row well and live.”

“Your eyes are full of hate, forty-one. That’s good. Hate keeps a man alive. It gives him strength.”

Will I make it to forty-one? Again, being a black man under a Trump Presidency, my odds are definitely diminishing. If my depression doesn’t get to me first. And what about the ladies, which I want to talk about. I could look up Stormy Daniels right now, my lady, Ha!

But there’s no physical reaction even though I like her. It’s these others: Jessica Rey, Kristen StephensonPino, Arianny Celeste, and the list goes on. Not trying to be a “Creep.”

Just, with what I’ve seen…

The truth? A woman can have a beautiful body but an ugly soul. Anybody that supports Donald Trump… But it’s not like I “Canceled” these women. When Virgil gets in trouble, I block “my” bedroom. He can still run the hallway into Braxton’s room if he wants. I’m not a monster. At least not in this place, my lady. Uh, Welcome to the Real World?

But in such things as “Sofía’s Nightmare?” I say some pretty horrible things about people, my lady. I have no problem writing about women, especially, but I’m not trying to be president. Not a king or a dictator. I just want to tell stories and let this place…. Reality, Sophia… Be a better world. I miss B’s Stories Or Virgil’s

1377 Days Without B III, Day 818 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 126 ~The Will To Vote B~

WillLeave a comment

Who will the president be Tuesday… Uh, a few weeks from now. Kamala Harris. But who will I become this Monday before the Election? And every Monday after. A lawgiver. My son’s voice. Someone better. A dirty old man. The Will To Vote B.

Monday, November 4, 2024

Meditation 126 ~The Will To Vote B~

Lame Duck Session Madam

Madam Justice,
Rules are made to be broken… Goodbyes must be spoken. Elections held. And Sloth paid for. But here’s an easy decision. Kamala Harris.

Madam Justice:
Now, you are a much harder decision. I haven’t even decided on your Form. Final Form, right? We have gone through all the rules and then some. But knowing how I break laws… Yet, I believe in Dale Carnegie’s words in “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.”

“Order Is Heaven’s First Law”

Why should I mess up the universe I have created here with you? Plus, I’m lazy. And while this isn’t Heaven. I can spell out why I’m going to Hell. Because of Braxton, I know. But wait, there’s more, Madam.

Braxton:
My son says there is. Braxton would speak for me sometimes. And I for him. If I ever needed someone in my corner, the time is now. Only I would never do my little boy justice. I have yet to publish the book he and I wrote together. And letting a woman down is one thing. Not Kamala! Again, I’m voting for her. She needs to win. Braxton Barks?

Madam, it would be kismet. Braxton passed on a Sunday. So, to hear from his “spirit” on a Monday, considering…

The Substance:
Sunday, I’m ALWAYS so down on myself. I’m effing up my marriage to Dear Future Wife on Tuesdays. And while I know Braxton would be encouraging, there’s myself.

Madam, I’ve come to realize that I need to learn to be more positive and show more gratitude. Do you remember when I could watch the WWE? I thought Saturday, I can’t stand a whiny Superstar. And that’s all I do. Rant, rave, and complain. I was lying in bed, knowing I’d wasted forty years.

“This is simply a better version of yourself…” I wish.

Dirty Diana:
Now, she accepted me for who I am. And maybe I would be a lot more subdued if I wasn’t bothering all the others with my… longings… But I left her to talk to my son. And wouldn’t I be abandoning you because I want to be dirty? I’ll take an intelligent woman over one who is only beautiful. Uh, don’t I know women who are both? Braxton’s Aunt, M Anime, Cherry. Still, it’s like something out of “Camp Hell” that “Demon Repression.”

Talk about “Sick Fux,” hmm.

But a voter. Kamala’s an easy choice. But being me… The Will To Vote B

A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1373 Days Without B III, Day 814 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 125 ~Virgil Will B VOTING~

WillLeave a comment

Who would I like to follow? If it hadn’t been for Braxton’s favorite girl, my Ma, and a box of barbecue… I’m easy, like Sunday morning. I would have followed my son. No, I’m not dumb enough to vote for Trump. What about Virgil? “Virgil Will B VOTING”

Sunday, November 3, 2024

Meditation 125 ~Virgil Will B VOTING~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And unlike Virgil, you have opposable thumbs, so… What? Is that something positive? If anything, EFFING VOTE!!!

You don’t have to listen to another word today if you JUST remember that, okay?

Braxton is still gone, but you have his memory to consider. And while you’ll spend your time on Massa’s Plantation (if Trump wins). Excuse you! I mean, you’ll be working “The MILL.” Excuse you again! You’ll be masturb… Pleasuring yourself for OnlyFans. I mean, REALLY. You’ll be wasting time blogging. What else would you call it; come Monday morning. You have no idea who you’ll be talking to with Madam J’s rules being done with. Maybe you should talk to her. Who knows, law and order might end on Tuesday.

The point is that on Tuesday, November 5, 2024, you do something worthless as you are. Like, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Stay the Night: A Slice of Life by Dirk Knight
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 008 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Yes, I did Number Four. Answer: How many women have seen your Stuff & Thang, and how much money did I spend for a woman sans clothing in pigtails and another woman with the fattest Yabbos. You’d rather they were Cherry’s, but you know her.

These days you should start saving your money. Is it too late for that? You can’t feel how empty your pockets are if you’re not wearing any pants. But Braxton taught you that the best legs breasts, and thighs are found in a bucket of chicken. Or a box. Isn’t It Ironic? Your poor son.

Braxton ended up in a box because you were a chicken trying to save money. Now, all you want to do is crawl inside with him. But, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Jack McAfghan: Pawprints from Heaven
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 008, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

But what is possible is that you have to vote. I can’t stress this enough. You even have the day off, so you have plenty of time. And who knows, with people being, well, people…

You might end up joining Braxton sooner. This is the South, which means your vote… It’s a moot point. The state will fall to Trump. But at the very least, you are JUST one man.

One man that will declare with his voice… pick any inspirational speech you like. Vote!

On Tuesday, November 5, 2024, you will vote for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz. Victory!

FOR DEMOCRACY!!! And for Virgil. Though if he could have voted for any owner. Uh.

Yeah… Virgil wouldn’t have chosen you. Virgil Will B VOTING

1372 Days Without B III, Day 813 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 124 ~Be Characteristically Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

What do I want to be when I grow up? My son. My Braxton. We don’t want to tell kids to be like Trump or MAGA. Uh, I’m 40 and possibly looking at the end of freedom if Kamala doesn’t win. And I’m worried about me. Be Characteristically Braxton, Virgil

Saturday, November 2, 2024

Meditation 124 ~Be Characteristically Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… But Trump doesn’t use such big words… Why should I? Yes, Lunalesca, I may get political.

But let’s focus on me for now. And why am I so late? Bad dreams. But I can’t remember any of them. Another reason I’m late. It was either watching all the Yabbos bouncing in my face or reading about them… Sasha, Jessica, Lexi… “Some Guys Have All the Luck.”

Only not my boys, Braxton and Virgil. Yesterday, as I was trying not to starve, I thought to myself. If only I could have my Braxton’s courage. And what about Virgil? If only I didn’t have his damage. Things I don’t know about him. What does he fear about me?

Being left out? As in banned from the bedroom. Virgil didn’t use the training paper. Here’s a thought. Buy him his own training pad. Hmm.

I don’t want him on Braxton’s bed—ever! But sure, use B’s bowls, big pillows, and bathroom space. And speaking of marking territory and making a mess, there’s Election Day.

Lunalesca, I will be playing the part of a “Law Abiding Citizen.” How do THEY say, “I’m just a regular, everyday normal mother effer.” Lunalesca, “What Makes A Good Man?”

This leads me to today. I know plenty of bad men or rather people. “I am an equal opportunity misanthropist.” And while I consider myself better than MAGA, My Lady…

Braxton, my son, is a far better man than me. If I could be half the man he was, I would consider myself truly blessed.

But I find myself existing as he did in those final days. It’s like living ‘Livin’ On A Prayer ‘, constantly on the edge of losing everything. Haven’t I? REALLY!

And how many songs am I going to rip off? I finished reading earlier. And looking up Asuka Langley Soryu is not productive. Anything to avoid looking into a mirror.

Lunalesca, how can I be bothered to save the world when I couldn’t save Braxton, who was my whole world? And I keep coming back to this simple truth. Virgil is here. I mean, couldn’t they be bothered to vet me? Fifteen years is a long life. Only yesterday afternoon…

Then you wonder why I don’t value my existence. All I want is to have a family someday. Lunalesca, we would be far from “UNEXPECTED GOATS.” But today, I’m like Winston Smith from 1984 (last man), with some Far Cry 5’s Faith. But someday, I hope to be like Braxton. And show Virgil a better man. To one day have a family that reflects their characters. Be Characteristically Braxton, Virgil

1371 Days Without B III, Day 812 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 123 ~Braxton and Virgil Meet~

WillLeave a comment

Is it a lack of food that has me Cannibalizing myself? I don’t think I got any Halloween candy. Perhaps the Day Job? (Shudders). I spent all my money on books about Yabbos and keeping V fed. I can’t have him meeting B. Yet… “Braxton and Virgil Meet.”

Friday, November 1, 2024

Meditation 123 ~Braxton and Virgil Meet~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… I prefer it not to be a review of Joseph D’Lacey’s MEAT. I really said that!

And while Virgil is not my son Braxton… I don’t plan on sending Virgil to meet his older brother anytime soon. Braxton was still here when democracy was threatened before…

Election Day, then the Insurrection, and then the Inauguration. How I miss my little boy.

And I hate meeting new people. So, let’s start with the top contenders. Madam Justice, Dirty Diana, and the “Spirit in the Sky,” “My Sweet Lord,” “He’s My Son” Braxton.

Sophia, is there someone else? The voices in the head of a dead man. How about something to the tune of The Substance? Elisabeth Sparkle vs. Sue. “I Against I.” Only this is about us. It’s not about having bigger fish to fry. It’s just so many. Then there’s Cannibalism!

The MEAT and Greet Market:

I feel as though I’ve been here before… MEAT was before Tender Is The Flesh. But guess which one I read first? And which one got four stars? Uh, both. But MEAT was much more brutal… or should I say tough? Tender Is The Flesh is medium rare. MEAT is well done in the fires of Hell. I’ll eat both. I meant read both. Seriously, for all the Dead/Zombie stories, I read this book with living, breathing people eating… And let’s not forget the “adult situations” and worse. My friends… If my friends knew about such things as this. Am I crazy, or in a cult? Not much of a critic. The religious aspects, the riots, the rage… Chef’s kiss.

Today is Sunday, October 27, 2024, but by the time you read this, Halloween will be over and done with. I still need to figure out who I’ll talk to on Monday, November 4, 2024.

Again, Bigger vs. Many Fish, which is Election Day. Do you want to know how that story ends? Kamala Harris and Tim Walz for the win. Yes!!! Eff Donald Trump. I’m eager to hear your thoughts on this, My Lady.

Will I be “writing” new rules for Madam Justice to enforce? I’m not sure, Sophia. I’m feeling a bit lost in this sea of uncertainty.

Resurrect Dirty Diana. THEY would say I’m all crazy about the female form. Uh, Yabbos?

I could TRY to let my son speak through me. Or create a better version of myself to write about.

Younger, more handsome, more perfect. Wouldn’t that be my “two” sons? Braxton and Virgil Meet.

1370 Days Without B III, Day 811 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 119 ~It’s Purge Night, Willie B~

WillLeave a comment

This isn’t a rule or goodbye. It almost reminds me of when my son died… almost. I didn’t command him to stay. And I told him it was ok. The game of life. What are the rules? To love. But after Braxton passed… My Existence… It’s Purge Night, Willie B.

Monday, October 28, 2024

Meditation 119 ~It’s Purge Night, Willie B~

There Are No Rules

Madam Justice,
Rules are made to be broken… And when there are no rules? I’ve worked through 365 or so. This is our last conversation?

We’ll get to that, Madam. Or I don’t want to… But I have a question. If you had one superpower, what would it be? Is it safe to deal with hypotheticals? Yeah, right, Madam J.

My favorite type of magic is Necromancy. But off the top of my head, I want to bring back my best friend, my son Braxton. If there are no rules, why not, Madam? Pretty macabre…

Okay, if I got to be me, why not X-ray vision? Women, sans clothing… It always comes back to that. And while I have yet to meet Jesus, I know plenty of AI programmers. But…

I’m no Smooth Criminal, so what about time travel? I’d take away Braxton’s old age. Make sure I wasn’t born…

How does it feel to write that down and say it out loud? I’ve never been one for “Ending” letters. My existence isn’t worth that much. The most I could ask is to erase my browser history and delete and/or burn all I’ve ever written, Madam Justice. The God-honest truth.

That’s why I won’t say what I’d do if there were a real Purge. Leave it to Trump, and it could happen. My RAGE at existing… Would know no bounds.

Honestly, the only “life” I have ever succeeded in taking is that of my Braxton. Euthanasia? What about other crimes?

You mean those of the Marquis de Sade, variety. Give me one word… AHEM, Sadism. Madam, I would need more than 12 hours. And I could even go all The Forever Purge with it. But we have one more word we must discuss as time grows short. This final hour.

Goodbye? I’m always learning something new every week. So why must this be the end?

I don’t think I even gave Dirty Diana that courtesy after Braxton passed. I needed to talk to my son. And she was the most expendable. Am I saying you are? It would be nice to have someone to talk to so every conversation doesn’t sound like effing wet dreams.

However, why talk at all? I could see if B would speak somehow, someway, someday.

If this is goodbye, Madam Justice, Let It B. Let It Go? Anything could happen. There Are No Rules. Goodbye. It’s Purge Night, Willie B

May God Be With You All. (Purge Siren Begins Blaring)

A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1366 Days Without B III, Day 807 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 118 ~Virgil’s Conceptualizations Of Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

How does 2-V feel about being four? A little bit better than I do about being forty. Both of us have concepts of what being should mean. I should have Braxton. V should have some nuclear family unit. Instead… Virgil’s Conceptualizations Of Braxton.

Sunday, October 27, 2024

Meditation 118 ~Virgil’s Conceptualizations Of Braxton~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Huh? So you don’t have to go with The Substance next month. You’re not a smart man.

But you could be one for Halloween. That’s what we do here. I will TRY to give you the ADVICE to change what you see every week. More like how not to hate yourself. But the man that your Dear Future Wife sees? How you say, “Just Me, Baby B,” like he wants to hear from the “man” who put him in a box three years ago. His Dad? Hearing from yours terrifies you. (Shudders).

However, it’s the “Time of the Season.” And what will you do besides reading “Stay the Night: A Slice of Life Contemporary Harem (Harem University Book 2)” Again, you’re not so bright. You first bought “Pawprints from Heaven.” But that’s not out until Halloween. Pet Loss? Scary! Meanwhile, you’ll be here failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 14: A Reverse Portal Fantasy by Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

If you were going to have new ones, how about not wasting money because you didn’t read the fine print. Another would be to keep your DARN word when posting book reviews, bad critiques, and even pictures of your blue balls. Been to OnlyFans lately? And for what? That’s another thing. You could make more bucks if you could stay awake. If you stayed out of bed most of the day. How about buying books where women keep their clothes on? “Sans clothing,” do you remember that? Some books teach dogs to run along the ground rather than be buried beneath it. Well, that was quite the monologue. You think…

More like a rant… And you’re not hopped up on candy. But Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Stay the Night: A Slice of Life by Dirk Knight
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Simple things. There’s watching a movie. Last night, it was 2007’s REC. But you like 2008’s Quarantine better. Once again, people would not call you an effing genius. This week.

And that is the question. What are you going to do this week? Conceptualizing existence?

Would you stop using that word? Cherry is the naughty English teacher/librarian. Her Yabbos? Jennifer Carpenter’s or Manuela Velasco’s? And that right there’s the concept.

Your son Braxton is the best man you’ve ever known, but he was simply an extension of yourself. His father’s son. Living and existing are synonyms, but one’s better… Maybe?

The Day Job vs Work. But neither is your raison d’etre. Something to think about this week. Your plans? Humiliations Galore. Virgil’s Conceptualizations Of Braxton.

1365 Days Without B III, Day 806 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will