Tag: Failure

Meditation 207 ~Minding My B’s&V’s Because~

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LeVar Burton said people didn’t want to foster a love of reading in kids. Now I’m 40. I read the Constitution, but… IT DOESN’T MATTER! I hate reading bills. And remembering, in 2021, the 24th was the start of B’s last week. Minding My B’s&V’s Because

Friday, January 24, 2025

Meditation 207 ~Minding My B’s&V’s Because~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… The world, Chico, and everything in it… SUCKS! The End. The start of A Beautiful Morning.

Now, before I lose all positivity today and forget to show gratitude this morning… Today, I finished “Ryan and His Beauties 2,” though the ending left much to be desired, my lady. But who am I to talk. Didn’t I write something like this when I was all into Cherry and her Mum? Only it was a lot worse. But it took my mind off things for a little bit.

Twenty minutes, seconds, or bucks of insane courage… How about words? I only need two. Thank you? For the record, I might steal that speech from What Dreams May Come:

“Thank you for every kindness. Thank you for our children. For the first time I saw them. Thank you for being someone I was always proud to be with. For your guts, for your sweetness. For how you always looked, for how I always wanted to touch you. God, you were my life. I apologize for every time I ever failed you. Especially this one”

I can rewrite it in honor of my B. But here and now, thank you, Braxton, for being my boy.

I will always be grateful.

I will always be your Dad. Because I don’t know what I will be tomorrow whenever I read the news. Last night, Sophia, I got into watching trailers for the End of the World and the End of the United States of America, and I couldn’t tell which was which; it all sort of blurred together. That reminds me, I need to schedule an eye exam as soon as possible…

However, before we get into all that I want to read for you this meme I saw once. Um ok.

“World history in one sentence. These white men are dangerous.”

Every day, whenever I turn on the TV, open the laptop, or scroll on the phone, As one of my motivations said, the proof is in the pudding. Even Ryan and His Beauties 2. Uh…

Ryan was accused of grooming Viktoria, Nathalie, and Olivia. What about Jody, Olivia’s mother? I ain’t gonna lie. The mother/daughter angle and sisters… Homer Drool…

Whatever, I shouldn’t be thinking about that. That brings me to today… What to read…

Don’t give me one more bill increase! I believe I’ll cancel my current ISP, however… There’s much to be done, like I told Inspector E in Meditation 205, “B Nights, See Virgil.” It’s driving me nuts! This is? Where was I last year? Tale 207 “To B Identified, Virgil.” Before that, my lady, there was Gospel 207, “Hell With Instructions Will.” I had no idea.

Reading about the man I was. And now I’m reading… I don’t know or want to, Minding My B’s&V’s Because

1454 Days Without B III, Day 895 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 202 ~Braxton The Professional, V…~

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Being professional? If I respected the new boss? Servant of the people? Is that me waking up in the morning? Or the 20th when I won’t watch Inauguration. Only the way people will act when TikTok returns, but liberty dies? Braxton The Professional, V…

Sunday, January 19, 2025

Meditation 202 ~Braxton The Professional, V…~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I’ll be the last free human face you’ll see today. Lucky you… How’s that for positivity?

Because what will tomorrow bring? Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day? Well, duh, my man. How about more STUPID people? Last time you checked, TikTok was down, and people have been crying, complaining, and crapping about it. But what happens if it does come back? And speaking of coming will you keep it in your pants this week and next.

Braxton deserves to be honored. And Mia Rose in Pigtails RoundAsses Vol. 2 isn’t helping. Or specific costumes, cosplay, gymnast, nurses, witches… You’re positively doomed. Only it wasn’t that head that was bothering you this morning. You swear that you had the entire cast of Footloose dancing on your head this morning. And the song…

Braxton’s way of messaging you. Because these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING We by Yevgeny Zamyatin (Dystopia)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And here you are with One Night of Freedom. You won’t kid yourself that you’ll do any of these things today. And when you know what’s coming. You’re a black man. But Tyrion Lannister had it right about facing the end. Tomorrow, someday, whenever, how:

“In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girl’s mouth around my c**k.” ― Tyrion Lannister

So how will you spend the night? You’ll lay in bed checking off the apps on your phone to keep getting points, presents, and peeps that mean absolutely nothing. Tomorrow, which should mean so much, will be nothing. You performed your duty voting. Sigh

Inauguration Day? You’re not going to watch. But it will be like trying to avoid Pretty, pretty, pretty girls. You’ll have to cut off everything, which would be a good idea.

However, these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Ryan and His Beauties 2
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

If you could have the perfect day, though… This question annoys you, but being optimistic.

Tomorrow, you would wake up, and Braxton would be alive. He’d jump on the bed and climb on your head if your wife wasn’t already on your face… Your wife and you would listen to apocalyptic pop even though Kamala Harris is being sworn in as President. Kids and V.

Or you could be like Jacob, Grayson, or Ryan with a beautiful harem. Cathouse owner… Again, Kamala Harris would be President. And instead of being afraid of every single person, you could look at me in the mirror and say… It’s a good life. And in this moment, you are happy. With Braxton… that makes perfection. Braxton The Professional, V…

1449 Days Without B III, Day 890 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 201 ~Virgil On B’s Ending~

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A bang or a whimper? I’ve seen many an end in forty years. Sometimes, it’s the flick of a finger on the screen. It could be a lawsuit. A moan and release over a brunette. Or my B speaking to my heart, asking, “Why can’t I stay?” Virgil On B’s Ending.

Saturday, January 18, 2025

Meditation 201 ~Virgil On B’s Ending~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I should leave the country for four years or so. Don’t I wish… But

Then again, I wish I didn’t need to leave the house. That would be at the top of Virgil’s wish list. And I’m sure that Braxton would approve. But what else is new? My revelation?

Yesterday, while I was shopping… And because of both my phone issues and my earwax. Eww! I know Lady Lunalesca. Anyway, I was left to my thoughts. Were they positive?

I thought about Braxton and my partnership and why we got along so well… Lunalesca. Braxton and I both hate people. And so I’m walking around thinking of this. Uh…

We need a new plague, Lady Lunalesca, with Trump about to be back in office; who knows. But that’s another story, and I thought I was trying to be positive. The thought of Trump’s return and the state of the world can be overwhelming sometimes.

Positive! You’re gonna be positive! But that’s just it, Lady Lunalesca. I was standing there in Walmart, overcome by such rage for humanity. And I remembered that Braxton felt the same way. And to think Braxton passed away because of my indifference. I hid rage. Not at him, of course. And it’s the same thing with Virgil. Only replace ANGER with FEAR. Braxton and I balanced each other. But the fact that I can endure such horror with Virgil. Think of it, Lady Lunalesca. How strong must Virgil and I be to continue to exist?

Even when I’m lost in a maze of confusion. When life is a costly affair? When some pretty brunette fills me with carnal desire? I swear my streak of checks notes of one day nearly ended just this morning, Lunalesca.

Could I give a specific part of my anatomy a rest for the next two weeks? In honor of B

Lunalesca, am I meant to end my days in this bed mourning Braxton Barks forever. I’ve been thinking about Braxton’s ending. Oh, and not Yevgeny Zamyatin’s “WE.” I finished that this morning and had to look up the plot because… What the eff, Lady Lu.

I thought about starting Satan’s Sorority Girls 8. On the grounds, I was reading an Eric Vall book when B III left me. Lunalesca, I could do that next week. But my lady, the end is yet to come. Several…

Well, TikTok’s end is Sunday, January 19, 2025. And Trump’s in power the day after. Lunalesca, Braxton’s passing was the 31st. Virgil On B’s Ending

1448 Days Without B III, Day 889 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 200 ~Virgil’s Booking Today Braxton~

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If I were to become a “Book Person of Fahrenheit 451,” I’d become The Gargoyle by Andrew Davidson, The Island by Gary Paulsen, or A Different Alchemy by Chris Dietzel. And what about Braxton’s novels. For now, I’m BILLS Virgil’s Booking Today Braxton

Friday, January 17, 2025

Meditation 200 ~Virgil’s Booking Today Braxton~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… An honest one. What’s going to happen to the country, perhaps? Sadly, it’s not Yevgeny Zamyatin.

“WE?” I couldn’t tell you much about it, even if I wanted to. THEY say this was the catalyst for books like 1984 and Brave New World. And it might be my last book… Inauguration

Honestly, if I could do it all over again, my lady. My book choices have been, as the young folks say, “Sus” since December. I didn’t read anything about Christmas and the “adult narrative” as I prepared for the end. And then everything pointed to the book WE. Leave it to the Russians, Sophia. No, that’s a Trump and MAGA thing. But as for me?

What would I want to read at the end? If only I had paid more attention to Braxton instead of burying myself in books. The Friday before Braxton passed, I finished Succubus Lord 7 and started on Succubus Lord 8. If anything, I’m utterly fed up with reading anything. Everything.

No, Lady Sophia, it’s not because I have a headache and need better glasses. However, I need to reschedule my eye exam. And before that, Braxton willing, I’ll take Virgil for a PAWdicure today. The scratches on my arm are proof that he needs one. Can I be any more selfish? Well, you have to read that I have called him B again. Four years.

And that is something I never get tired of reading. Ever! How my Braxton lived…

As we edge closer to the reign of MAGA, I find myself mirroring their disdain for reading. It’s a disheartening transformation, one I never thought I’d undergo. Yet, I’m here.

The truth is, I’m struggling to keep up with Virgil’s needs. I had to search for his papers just to take him to PetSmart today. And his medication? I’m not even sure when he had his last dose. Some father!

I’m sick of reading about coupons, so I can offer Virgil some small comfort, Sophia.

The receipts from yesterday from the BBQ place I had to drive to twice because of a wrong order. And the groceries that I can barely afford. But a “man’s” gotta eat. But being online, energy shots, and Onlyfans… In the words of my generation, “MO’ MONEY! MO’ MONEY!” There are the termite, townhome, fire, and garbage people’s bills due.

Fahrenheit 451 may have the right idea. Words, Sophia? Do It! Virgil’s Booking Today Braxton

1447 Days Without B III, Day 888 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 195 ~That’s Another B Virgil~

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He that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow. Is the Bible Pop Culture? Anyway, I learned a lot last week… I know something else is broken, and I have no clue how to fix it. Or cash. And that includes my existence. That’s Another B Virgil

Sunday, January 12, 2025

Meditation 195 ~That’s Another B Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Are you a Dad yet? Are you hard enough? Are you rough enough? Are you rich enough?

First off… Eww! Second, the week has just begun… Darling, the nightmare has just begun. Once again, this isn’t negativity. You are pointing out facts. And the truth hurts. Doesn’t it? That is when you can hear it. The body. The brain. Braxton’s Playlist… Madness

Braxton is ashes in a box. And you’re a boy in a bed. Would you kindly get up and do…?

Well, something other than fantasizing about Ashley Graham from RE4 or Cherry. There are so many choices. And not so many days. How many months has it been since E-Day?

And now… You know what is coming up at the end of the month. How B III met his end.

You’re so dark this morning. Dystopia and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING It Can’t Happen Here – Sinclair Lewis (dystopian political novel)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 008, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

At least you’re telling the truth about number four. The last time you broke, it took MILF Dos’s voice and Cherry’s body. What do you want? Perfection, Consistency, uh… Discipline. Hell, the answer is your name, Will. All you need is the Will. Nothing more.

The Will to win. Where there’s a Will, there’s a way. The gift of Free Will and all that jazz.

But yeah, you could use Braxton and the willingness to quit with pop culture references.

Only Will you settle for another B-day? What’s one more day spent bedridden, Hmm? What’s another day singing, “Had a Bad Day again.” What’d I say about Pop Culture? Yet most of this morning was spent on b**bs, Yabbos. And not these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING We by Yevgeny Zamyatin (Dystopia)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because? If this was school, what would you be getting? A, B, C, D… F? What happened to E? What indeed? Shall I tell you? It’s the least I can do. “EASY like Sunday morning.”

That’s what happened. And it’s a lie. There’s fake it till you make it, and then there’s ignorance, insanity, and downright indifference. The idea that it’s okay to be well… A forty-year-old boy. How about to be Braxton? You have your box to exist in. What about to be a beta? There’s another word for that… NTR (Netorare), but that’s a story for the bedroom.

And you need to leave this one. Don’t make today another failure. Don’t pray for a D… Eww! Get up, Will! That’s Another B Virgil

1442 Days Without B III, Day 883 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 194 ~Braxton, Virgil, Button Up~

WillLeave a comment

I should buy Braxton and Virgil coats and little boots. B III would have taken one of my hands. And 2-V would be as confused as ever. What about myself? My mouth, pants, wallet, and computer. Buttons and locks. “Braxton, Virgil, Button Up.”

Saturday, January 11, 2025

Meditation 194 ~Braxton, Virgil, Button Up~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Which means I live somewhere that’s warm… And preferably green. A modern-day Eden. My own Elysium.

Is there anything wrong with singing “Throw The Covers” over me? Is that not positive? One doesn’t always have to be working to have a positive experience in this life…

Though my Dearest Lady Lunalesca, Will Smith had the right idea. I believe it goes:

“If you’re not making someone else’s life better, then you’re wasting your time.”
Will Smith

Of course, that was my son Braxton and now Virgil. But I couldn’t save him from the heat. And now the snow. We’re not freezing. If only the temperature were the only issue right now.

Nowadays, it’s money. If only there was some sort of lock for my wallet, bank account, and wherever else I have cash. I did have hundreds in a cookie tin and the Death Star, ha.

When the Man Comes Around? That man is my father…

Don’t I want to be positive? I’ve got my son, who’s been gone almost four years. And my father, who is very much alive and pays my bills. And what do I want, Lady Lunalesca?

I want to unbutton my pants for a girl on OnlyFans. It’s saying things like that, which is costing me friends. Or repeating The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. That’s today…

https://onlyfans.com/1481875569/willyswants

I could spend hours looking that up. Oh, besides researching Mia Rose and Lorena Sanchez? For the record, T*** Eff Holes 6. And there was talking to M Anime, Lunalesca.

Nightmare At The Meat Market. I swear the only thing that has me both unbuttoning my pants and, at the same time, pushing buttons in the right direction. For what?

So I don’t have to worry. As long as I’m doing anything positive… we gon’ be alright. Ha. Remaining positive.

And speaking of “We.” That’s what I was reading this morning. The house is falling apart, sure. But Trump and the next four years… As long as no one accuses me of trying to eat Virgil. I’m nowhere near the best person, Lunalesca. Self-awareness is a positive. Don’t you think?

Lunalesca, I’m also supposed to be getting some new equipment. Again, anything to keep me busy. The promise to M Anime to send her more of her nightmarish tale. Sigh.

Lunalesca, if I could button up everything… And become indifferent once more. Uh, B III? The world is getting colder. I know my destination. 9th Circle. Braxton, Virgil, Button Up.

1441 Days Without B III, Day 882 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 193 ~Plan B To V~

WillLeave a comment

A Snow Day! I don’t have to go to the Day Job. My eye appointment was canceled. And 2-V was like, “You’re out of your damn mind! I’m not going out there! Even if I match!” Anything can happen! Even being positive in the “9th Circle,” huh. Plan B To V

Friday, January 10, 2025

Meditation 193 ~Plan B To V~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Of how I was happy once… Perish the thought. The last time I was close… Uh…

Is that what we’re going to talk about? Seriously! What else is there? Lady Sophia…

“Snow day! Snow day, snow day, snow day. Snow day! Anything can happen!”
Snow Day

And to think, once upon a time, I wanted to be a weatherman. No, better. A meteorologist, my lady. And this was way before I met “Weatherman” in school. I wonder what happened to that guy. He would make these weather reports in school. And if the boy told you, it was going to snow… Don’t bother getting out of bed. The boy had passion.

Lady Sophia, with all of the tales I’ve written, what happened to my passion? Dedication?

Well, I made it to the dining room table this morning. Such were my feelings of euphoria. I’m nostalgic because snow meant avoiding humiliation. School or today’s eye appointment. Ha!

I should have my eyes checked. Then, I would find happiness. I must be positive…

More like B Positive for Braxton. Hell, Virgil is white too. And apparently, the last thing I need right now is a white guy telling me what to do. How’s that for some DEI, MAGA?

Virgil is okay. The snow was a pleasant surprise. I’m all for white women… Well, all women, but today, the women that got me going… Anyway, there’s the white page.

Didn’t I enjoy Sinclair Lewis’s book? And I sampled Yevgeny Zamyatin’s novel, We. But I can’t tell you a thing about it; I was so out of it last night. And my eye doctor is a white guy. The vet that saved Braxton’s life… Memories.

So, correction. I don’t need any of MAGA, and that includes their tokens, Tim Scott, Byron Donalds, Candace Owens, etc. Telling me what to do. Schooling when there’s no school.

Aren’t I supposed to be talking about things that feel like a snow day? Honestly, the moments that give me a feeling of… Hope. I don’t know. Let’s say that gets me out of bed.

Some girl was in my lap in the backseat of a car. Ah, first time. To be chosen over air… (Cue Homer Drool). There’s watching movies with B III and his favorite girl. Or, Virgil. There’s reaching 50,000 words for NaNoWriMo. All these things give me a Snow Day feeling. And yet I smile, going nowhere. Plan B To V

1440 Days Without B III, Day 881 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 188 ~An Honest B Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I got a well-deserved D in a Math class long ago. I cheated on a few French tests and got A’s and B’s. And then I got caught. However, I haven’t used THAT Math, and I can’t speak French, but being positive… I graduated. But life? “An Honest B Virgil”

Sunday, January 5, 2025

Meditation 188 ~An Honest B Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And the only person you should be judging. I can’t stress this enough. Just a fact. Positive…

You’re gonna be positive. And yes, you know the word is Popular. As you know, that song has been everywhere from Wicked. Like B’s recommendations. The song “Popular” is not one of them. But there is also Squid Game 2. Indeed, the popular things of this day and age. More importantly, they’re honest. What about you? You’re an honest man…

Well, this is our first time talking in the new year. So how do you feel? Oh, the tears, hmm? You’re tired, but you have a bed. Everything has to have a positive spin. Inevitably…

You’ll be sad again. You should start your resolutions on Monday, February 3, 2025. Braxton? At the moment. It looks like you’ll repeat the day. Like failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING It Can’t Happen Here – Sinclair Lewis (dystopian political novel)
    Failed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 008 No Fap)*
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Just the facts. And here’s another one. Being positive isn’t on any list for the new year, friend. Not a resolution or an Impossible Thing. So why bother? Popularity… Popular.

You’re not putting that in Braxton’s playlist. You’re more inclined to add the Squid Game 2 Version of “Fly Me To The Moon.” Would that make you popular? But in all honesty…

Do you know what’s not popular? Complaining about life, crying over Braxton, and talking about all the women that make you cream your pants when you’re wearing any.

I only bother when Virgil needs to go outside or get food. That’s another thing as well. Stop being such a crabby pants when speaking on Virgil. At this rate, he’ll make Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING It Can’t Happen Here – Sinclair Lewis (dystopian political novel)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 008, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

There’s also the fact that you don’t need to bring up cash, the house’s current state, and the country’s sad state in two weeks. And the company you call a Day Job. Am I saying don’t be a C-Student? You should be so lucky. And once again, the facts. You have to be positive, which is the only advice. But is that being honest starting this year? Don’t I wish.

Somehow. I don’t know how, but yes, somehow. LIE. A lie can be positive… Enough.

However, the question is, how do you look at yourself? A good student doesn’t make a happy person. Learning to say you’re happy is a positive thing. And biggest falsehood.

When said enough… Don’t finish that. An Honest B Virgil.

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face – forever” George Orwell, 1984

1435 Days Without B III, Day 876 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 187 ~Braxton, Virgil, Go Forth~

WillLeave a comment

Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four. I’m saying the apocalyptic and dystopian for books or January 6 -20. But good news, there’s no termites and I’m dismissing negativity. As far as being positive. Braxton, Virgil, Go Forth

Saturday, January 4, 2025

Meditation 187 ~Braxton, Virgil, Go Forth~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… But I have more respect than most because I don’t use my children as armor… Elon.

That’s me being positive and stating the facts. But I won’t lie, my dearest Lunalesca. Despite the challenges, I’m holding on to my positivity. Somehow…

Positivity is a long, long road… Tom Petty today with “Love Is a Long Road.” B is doing what he can with the music. If I focus on what happened yesterday, Lady Lu, I mean…

On the positive side, the termite inspector said there are no termites. My Lunalesca? I’m going to cheer for that because everything after… Well, Braxton talked to me. From beyond…

Speaking of Braxton, I remember when he first stepped into the invisible? I was in a stage of Denial for around seventy days before a manager pushed me towards anger.

Within three days of the new year… My leaning towards positivity has been shaken, Lu. I’m feeling a bit lost right now. So I’m here.

And if that isn’t enough, I discovered two things last night. One by myself and the other Lunalesca… Well, I was Doomscrolling, so somebody else said it, but honestly, Lunalesca.

I’m going to blame the tears on being Blinded by the Light. Bruce Springsteen? Really? Lu, I’m constantly researching what happened to B. I asked off the Day Job for his memorial at the end of the month. But I’ve always said it was my indifference that ended B III.

Lunalesca that led me to the second discovery. I was listening to this woman speak on these tragedies that define us. And that we make them the end all be all of our lives, Lu.

Name something greater than my son? I was/am a father.

I’m the King Of New York, I’m a mothereffin’ Starboy. And I’m Free. I have to work on Braxton’s playlist. It’s been four days. Let me say that again. IT’S BEEN FOUR DAYS into the new year. So ask me how I’m feeling about it. Lady Lunalesca, without any negativity.

Everything and everyone has made it their goal to forbid me from leaving this room. Luna, it’s my own room 1408. Okay, so that means more time to get to know Virgil with his four years. I’m on episode four of Squid Game and skipping the whole Dub vs Sub.

I’ve got Braxton, Virgil, my work, and then myself. If comedy comes in threes, then what comes fourth. Bravery, Wisdom, Honesty… Braxton, Virgil, Go Forth

1434 Days Without B III, Day 875 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 186 ~What B Reads, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I won’t talk about “Lord of the Flies,” “The Moonstone,” or the names of anybody that I owe or will owe. And as much as I enjoy A Different Alchemy, it’s sad. But the names and pictures of Girls On Film. And the memory of my son. What B Reads, Virgil

Friday, January 3, 2025

Meditation 186 ~What B Reads, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… A positive story? We’re three days in, and I can show you less-than-stellar reads. Texts, Bills…

But, no. I’d never stop. Speaking of never stopping. I’ll never stop writing about Braxton.

Is it puppy love? My boy is fifteen, and the other one, V, is four. But every day, as I mark the dates on the calendar, I’m reminded of the joy of fatherhood. It’s a testament to my manhood, to my role as a father.

I like that I can go back at any time and read the novels I wrote for and with Braxton. Sophia, that’s one more thing. Another day gets me. You can see I’m trying… Positivity.

There’s another chance to love. “I Don’t Know How To Love Him,” I swear the songs Braxton sends to me as I sit here. Is he talking about myself, Virgil, or my feelings for him?

Again, there’s the Day Job.

Payday! Lady Sophia, I feel like Winston Smith here having to use Doublethink. If I’m to stay on the positive side of the line… I have a Day Job, a paycheck, and adult money. Wow!

Yesterday, as I sat there contemplating life… Not Existence? Life? It’s so hard, my lady. You know, playing Mr. Brightside. I would say, “Let’s Go Crazy.” This is day three. Remind me, Sophia, to write down B’s songs. Anyway, I was looking at expected deposits.

And so I’m looking forward to having the termite inspector in and out of the house without too much damage. And while I’m talking about music, I have Dale Carnegie’s audiobook “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living with my dystopian reading list ever-increasing somehow.

Plus, there’s when I put pen to paper. But let’s focus on somebody else. There’s always Cherry. While I enjoy reading her work, I won’t lie to you, Sophia. When I hear that ping… There’s hope that it will be a picture of her Yabbos. Pretty much any girl, actually.

Disgusting beats Depression. Does it not? So, I like working on galleries and erotic fiction. It’s another testament because some of these girls have dozens of pictures to their name. B III has hundreds, meaning organizing would take me much longer. Love over Lust, Hmm.

But aren’t I trying to keep it in my pants? And Kindle is all sorts of confused. Am I being liberal or libertine with my reading? What B Reads, Virgil

1433 Days Without B III, Day 874 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will