Tag: Failure

Tale 352 ~Even The Devil Gets Homesick~

WillLeave a comment

Everybody wants to go to Heaven, but “Nobody Wants To Die.” Wasn’t that why I was working hard at the Day Job? And what happened to my son. And maybe if I read enough to get smart enough to write enough, we’d find Heaven. Even The Devil Gets Homesick

Monday, June 17, 2024

Tale 352 ~Even The Devil Gets Homesick~

Three-Hundredth And Forty-Eighth Rule

Madam Justice
Rules are made to be broken… Concepts, Ideas, Knowledge vs Belief? Just words like, better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven.

Funny, I bring that up today. Although today isn’t today, it’s Thursday, June 13, 2024.

And I am afraid. You see how the days smoosh together. I’m scared every day. It’s by my doing, for the most part. I don’t Doublethink like some. I overthink! And why is that now?

Yes, Braxton is still gone, passed away, if I’m being nice about it. I don’t mean to sound cavalier about it, either. Madam, my son might have lived if I had weeks like this before.

So, it’s looking like a short week, and the next one will be shorter. I’m not going to be making anything. I abhor the Day Job, but there are three little words: I need money!

For me and for Virgil

And how about more books? Didn’t I mention myself writing one in my “conversation with Braxton?” I’ve got several. There are two I wrote for him. I love reading and writing… As long as it’s not about fur buddies meeting their ends. Why do I read those, hmm? They don’t make me feel better. And they only give me ideas on how to honor B.

Again, that takes money. And I’ll have plenty of time to think about it. But first, I’ll be worrying about the Day Job. Isn’t that what led to Braxton’s passing? Second, I’ll worry about getting in trouble with the day job, my dad, or the “D” in my pants. Third, there’s writing anything worthwhile, period. Don’t I miss it ever?

Yes! This explains why I was at the Dining Room table this morning. And I’m back in bed this afternoon. Because it’s hard not to be dirty. Did I say that? You’re not the Inspector.

But to be honest, what was Heaven? Where is Heaven? I swear, Madam, when I was reading the Day Job schedule and thinking I’d done something wrong… Joining B III?

No! Even on his last day, B wanted to come home with me. B III found his place with me. Heaven was lying with me as I read. Or it was sandwiched between his aunt and me. There’s my drooling over Cherry’s “shenanigans.” Sitting in the middle bed, “relaxed.” Reigning. Day Job’s not Heaven, but… Even The Devil Gets Homesick
“A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1233 Days Without B III, Day 674 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 351 ~Father To B… V~

WillLeave a comment

Happy Father’s Day? Sooner or later, I’m going to have to tell my father. And here I am, nearly forty and… Well, B III is my son, furry, four legs, and all but no less my son. But what did I provide him? A box. A pendant. What about V? Father To B… V

Sunday, June 16, 2024

Tale 351 ~Father To B… V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Not “boy,” husband, or FATHER… Uh Oh! Guess what day it is? Father’s Day. Ya-Huh. Sigh. I’m sure you understand the weight of these roles, the constant juggling, and the occasional self-doubt that comes with them. But…

“You Are Not A Caveman,” that’s rule number two. Use your own words! The Daddy voice. How many times do you have to go through the Drive-thru and be called Ma’am? Seriously! And I know you’re jonesing for a Big Mac and fries. I was on DoorDash last night. But with only $40.00? Funny, Huh? That’s your budget until payday. Ok! How will you live?

How does a man live? But you are not a man… Wait a minute! Fatherhood is the epitome of manhood. Fair enough. And what does a man do, Will? A man provides for his family.

And where is your family? Where is your son… sons? Braxton is in a box. While Virgil should be one of my Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 11, Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 009 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Well, at least I read one book about a man becoming a father. And with what you’re reading now… Please don’t let the Dad be the bad guy. So, you think that now, while you quote lines from “Breaking Bad.” But you would have done anything to save your son.

Think about your father, Will. He does everything for you, even if you don’t acknowledge it. He’s just not trying to save you necessarily. But he’s keeping you alive. He’s given you the freedom to be a lazy bum with a house. Yet, you struggle with the simple act of saying Happy Father’s Day. Reflect on that for a while.

Daddy Issues? The Bible says, “Honor thy father and thy mother.” It also says to “rather fear Him that is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Uh, my Father… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Attention, Shoppers by Blair Daniels
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 009, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Your dream? Well, one in particular is to be a father. More, a daddy, and with that, to become a man. It pops up from time to time… Uh, eww! You blame Phoebe Cates’s red bikini in “Fast Times At Ridgemont High.” There’s Cherry’s lingerie and lips. Arelia the maid… Special K, who was my actual maid. M Anime, Kelly Kapowski, Kimberly Hart, Leia Organa, Topanga Lawrence, and you can go on. Eat your heart out, Christian Gray; you have a type and a dream. Yes, one of being on a beach with your wife and children to be called Daddy. But it’s so far away. Git Up, Get Out, and make these dreams a reality… You were Braxton’s Dad. Virgil? Father To B… V

1232 Days Without B III, Day 673 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 350 ~Spacing B And V~

WillLeave a comment

You can’t take the sky from me. Or there’s, “Just look up. There is no place to hide. True love doesn’t die.” I swear, the things I remember about my B, and then I space out logging in. I long to be wherever Braxton is. But here I am. Spacing B And V

Saturday, June 15, 2024

Tale 350 ~Spacing B And V~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… but that’s only part of the dream, Lunalesca. There’s unconditional love. A woman, children, and dogs…

And I should stop lying. Lady Lunalesca, I want to be involved in the ‘Stuff & Thangs’ regarding women. By this, I mean activities like Cosplay, Filming, and even Brothels… I remember Dennis Hof and his dog Domino. Speaking of dogs, there’s a reason my Braxton didn’t have any siblings until after he passed. Keeping up with two, Lunalesca… Was I really going to say that Virgil is enough for me? He tries a lot.

Braxton though… Ask me where my heart is. How about what I would sell my soul for, Lu? And there’s another part of me, a dirty and “sinful” part, that I wish I could give up. It’s a part that brings me pleasure, but I don’t believe I deserve it.

But as forgetful as I’ve become lately, I’ll always remember Yabbos. In particular, Whitney Wright’s Yabbos. That’s who I was DMing this morning, anyway… Really?

Why do you think I share my feelings with you, my Little Braxton’s “Spirit,” and the Man in the Mirror? Because I feel stupid and old. I’m becoming forgetful. And I space out, Lady Lu.

Take yesterday, for example. I forgot a simple login for something I use every day, Lunalesca. It slipped my mind, and it’s not the first time. This forgetfulness is becoming a regular occurrence, and it’s worrying me. But afterward, I was able to rattle off a plethora of movies that I wanted to watch again. Before that, there was OnlyFans. Like I’ve said, I have been around. One problem though…

Yeah! I forgot that I didn’t have any money. But that didn’t stop me from remembering “Prom Night.” Not “my” prom, but the Whitney Wright film. And that’s where the last of my OnlyFans account went. Don’t forget to cancel…

It’s like my mind is the universe. Uh! Lu, I give myself way too much credit but hear me out.

Braxton, my son, was my Sun. Everything went around him. But without B III, Luna.

Now Virgil drifts between being a new sun and Mercury. He’s far from the light I need, but sometimes he keeps me warm. But Lunalesca, the black hole… Braxton’s passing is a constant source of grief that I can’t escape.

Women are from Venus, right? They’re hot and dangerous. And between me and my boys…

Earth is me. Again, I give myself too much credit. And again, I’ve been spacing out. It feels like I can’t breathe, Luna. And I’m not sure I want to. I can’t remember how sometimes.

I could continue. The black calls… Spacing B And V.

1231 Days Without B III, Day 672 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 349 ~Virgil, Will, Forever B~

WillLeave a comment

So many monsters know immortality, eternity, and forever. My Braxton could be a beast. Ha! And he’s up there terrorizing a heavenly buffet or guarding the gates of “heck.” Where will I end up? All the time in the world, right? Virgil, Will, Forever B

Friday, June 14, 2024

Tale 349 ~Virgil, Will, Forever B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Is my autobiography too painful? Well, “I Can’t Stop.” And then there’s Braxton and MORE BOOKS!

But what about Braxton’s two novels? They are not just novels but deeply personal accounts of our shared experiences. As I’ve told Braxton and some of the girls, I have more than enough time. More than Three Days Grace and the “Pain” of it all. So I should start now.

But already, I’m late. That’s one of Braxton’s last lessons to me. I was so busy with the Day Job that I ignored him. Three years later, I’m scared of losing all “my” working hours.

Seriously, at the same Day Job, I blame for losing him. They are the only people at fault other than myself for Braxton having to be put to sleep. Much like the term Euthanasia, I hate that phrase being “put to sleep.” I nearly explained that to one of my nephews. But there are books:

“Loosing” A Pet Lost Stars

I’m not going to say anything about “Loosing” a pet. I don’t know if I would be right or wrong. But I’ll tell you what I know. It’s three stars. And let me tell you what else I know. I love my boy. He’s been gone three long years, and this book made me cry. But I cry with every book on pet loss, too. The most I got from Hannah Bennett’s The Survival Guide to Pet Loss is more ways to honor my furry son’s life. And his passing. But with the friends, I know that have experienced the same… I don’t like the fact I’ve read so many books on this pain. But I can recommend better titles.

One more book review down, Lady Sophia. What do THEY say… the internet is forever?

And that’s what I’ve been thinking about between the Day Job, the dollars lost, and another D that hasn’t done anything for me in a week. Is this how I want to be remembered, Lady Sophia? A guy who is lost in a Divinyls ditty, “I Touch Myself.” Uh, Eww!

I would rather be known as a devoted father of two… so far. But again, my Braxton is gone. And Virgil, my other “son,” and I aren’t exactly on the best terms. Always and Forever? But yes, I’ve called him son here or there, but…

But nothing. I have to write. And look at the time. It may look like forever. But only Braxton knows forever. Virgil, Will, Forever B

1230 Days Without B III, Day 671 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 345 ~Impossible’s Not Fact But Opinion~

WillLeave a comment

It’s six, three, or one impossible thing a day. Just me getting out of this bed. And never with love or happiness. It’s fear and a J O B (snickers). Most people are of the opinion I have a good life. But me existing? Impossible’s Not Fact But Opinion

Monday, June 10, 2024

Tale 345 ~Impossible’s Not Fact But Opinion~

Three-Hundredth And Forty-Seventh Rule

Madam Justice
Rules are made to be broken… Tell that to the Six Impossible Things list I make every Sunday. In my “whimsical” tradition, I jot down six seemingly impossible things that bring me misery or betterment… Questions without answers. But how about today, Madam.

I could really use a wish right now. But impossible things are happening every day! Madam, I’m at least writing them out. And since I’m sure I’ll fail five out of six, where shall I go? Don’t tempt me. I’ve got something impossible, but Virgil, the new guy, is here. And so… I’m still breathing.

Let’s talk about Braxton. He’s always number one on my list. And haven’t they been able to clone dogs? Refrain from talking about what I’ve been reading. Just today, which is Sunday, June 2, 2024. I’ve looked it up to see if it’s possible. Not from hair or ashes. Bedding?

I’m sure that carries Braxton’s DNA. And his favorite toy? But besides that, I’ve bought another book to help me cope with losing my fur buddy. And then there’s Backyard Dungeon 11. I’m still bothering…

Cherry has a low opinion of those types of books. I remember when I bought M Anime some titles—awkward. And I still need to get B’s Aunt a birthday present. So, even more books!

Madam, it didn’t take tequila to make her clothes fall off. Did I really say that? Again, she’s almost like a sister to me… Almost. Cherry, M Anime, I fear they’ll get sick of me.

“The horror! The horror!” FEAR, my dear Madam. Of what? Of being abandoned, left alone, or arrested. The things I think about daily. Wild, Wicked, Wrong. Everything I want is insipid, insane, illegal, and/or impossible. It depends on who you ask. B wouldn’t have cared.

Because my son is brave. And the fears I have…

It’s impossible to give each one a name. And if I tell you, I’m afraid of everything, my Madam. It feels like I am more and more with each passing day. My Braxton and Fear.

Three wishes and three impossible things. The third would be to become what I desire.

I can’t clone my boy. I can’t find my courage. And to climb out of bed willing, on any day ending in Y. But why is that? I know full well it’s not a fact. Because Virgil is still here.

It’s impossible for Virgil to be Braxton. As impossible as it is for me to find acceptance in Braxton’s passing. Those are facts. Impossible to live? That’s not Braxton’s opinion. Impossible’s Not Fact But Opinion

“A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1226 Days Without B III, Day 667 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 344 ~That’ll B 666, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Better to die on your feet than to live on your knees. I was done with God when Braxton died. Since Braxton’s gone, I’m not kneeling to my son. And Virgil wishes I was on the floor with him. Then there’s my Olds… Bend the knee. That’ll B 666, Virgil.

Sunday, June 9, 2024

Tale 344 ~That’ll B 666, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you don’t have the mark of the beast upside your forehead yet. And speaking of beast…

Braxton’s been gone for 1225 days. You don’t believe that Euthanasia is the “good death.” But compared to how you’re existing or only feeling right this second… You’d take it. That’s why your son was/is a better man. Because even in the end, all he wanted was to live. Braxton wanted to come home with you. Only he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus. Ha!

Not cool. Not funny. Braxton died on a Sunday. And Virgil has met a milestone… Uh, you think so. Virgil has been here 666 days. He’s yet to become a beast or even your son.

And what about you? As hard as I am on you, do you really want to go “home” to those people? Better to stay and contemplate these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Survival Guide to Pet Loss: How to Manage Grief
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Yet going home is not one of them. Do you remember 2023’s Christmas Day? No! You blocked that memory out as best you can. Humiliations Galore and whatnot, my dude.

Tomorrow will be full of them, so why ruin a perfectly good Sunday? Because Sundays have been different since Little Braxton’s passing. But it’s always been full of the dead.

Braxton knew every Sunday to shut up because of The Walking Dead, Fear The Walking Dead. And speaking of the braindead, isn’t wrestling coming on tonight? Roxanne Perez’s fight and The Women’s North American Title match. (Cue Homer drooling). Seriously!

You’d give that up to go home, wherever that is to Braxton. And not to your Olds. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 11, Logan Jacobs
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Do you stay or do you go? If the holy rollers are right, choosing between taking the mark of the beast or not is an easier decision. Again, you can always choose to join Braxton.

Last week, besides thinking of some Yabbos. I was thinking of joining my boy. Today? You won’t go that far. But do you stay sitting in bed and face the consequences of rejecting your Olds? Or do you fall deeper into your Depression and go? You could take Virgil Vivi.

Yeah, subject him to people. Indeed, what makes a monster, and what makes a man? A beast. Everyone wants to be a beast until it’s time to do what beasts do. And that’s… FIGURE IT OUT! That’ll B 666, Virgil

1225 Days Without B III, Day 666 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 343 ~Virgil, Better B Better~

WillLeave a comment

The last time, I was the “best” at something. I got $40.00! And I’m paid so little I didn’t notice it on the check. I didn’t know until the end of the month when I was told to sign the paperwork. To be a better Father, Friend… Virgil, Better B Better

Saturday, June 8, 2024

Tale 343 ~Virgil, Better B Better~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… Finding out that poor people are getting money. Trump didn’t get elected. Riding to the Titanic…

In other words, I’m sad. I’m suffering from Bipolar Disorder… Where’d I get a PhD? Lunalesca, I’m a father still mourning and/or grieving my fur child. My son, my Braxton.

I’m sure there’s an explanation of the differences between mourning and grieving in many books on loss. But not in the Hannah Bennett title I finished this morning. And if you’re asking why I’m so late. It’s 9:40 AM. I woke up around 2:30ish with all the lights on. I’m still one of those Wake Up at 4:00 AM types. So, I finished Hannah’s book and then moved on to Logan Jacobs. Oh yeah! I’m on day one again after falling to some P.Y.T. Sigh.

As if (pulls out list) Night Elves, Half-Demons, Orcs, Goblins, Spirans, and Succubi are better.

Drama is one thing, but crazy is something else. I’m trying to keep that to a minimum, Lady Lunalesca. Save that to the fairytales. Yeah, Tinkerbelle… “Where Is My Mind?”

Lunalesca, it shouldn’t be in another book about crying over furry angels. And yes, I know you’re not Lady Sophia, “my librarian.” Today, I’m trying to figure out why I feel heartbroken again. It’s not like it ever stops. But I could handle it till a few days ago. Again, I’m reading about “pet loss,” but I’ve done that plenty of times. Nothing works. And as I’ve said, I’ve fallen asleep to find the house bathed in light. I’ve missed dinner at least twice. I find myself getting angry. RAGE

RAGE beats FEAR, no doubt. I keep reading about The Five Stages of Grief. Acceptance? Lunalesca, we’ve established I’ll never reach that. Tiptoeing with the idea, but as far as…

“May I Have This Dance?” Never, Lady Luna! I absolutely positively refuse. Not B III. I refuse to accept that he’s gone, that his memory is fading. With all my might, I will hold on to every precious memory, bark, and wag of his tail.

And that’s why Virgil Vivi is not better. Because I’m not better. The day I got him is coming up in a couple of months “Gotcha Day.” I still remember spotting the three black dots along Virgil’s back. The brown around his eyes, the color of Braxton’s coat. “Braxton’s bark” of, “I couldn’t make this more black and white. Bonus points for using puppy pads.

Lunalesca, I should be making Virgil’s life better. Braxton’s? My existence? Virgil, Better B Better

1224 Days Without B III, Day 665 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 342 ~Virgil, B Before Stupid~

WillLeave a comment

I’m stupid before I begin to be. Setting one foot out of this bed is the dumbest thing ever. Other than looking up “Stuff & Thangs” on the phone. But what’s a guy to do? The next Hunger Games isn’t out until 2025. To see it… “Virgil, B Before Stupid”

Friday, June 7, 2024

Tale 342 ~Virgil, B Before Stupid~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… I could tell you 52 stories. Well, 23 this year. I could offer something of value.

And I will, Sophia. You’ll get a “Meditations” review. Even though I don’t feel well. That’s both physically and mentally for once. So, I should tell you the story of how I got here. That’s a long story. And I only have four hundred words. To be a better man… Anyway, the short story is… Braxton is gone. He passed. He was Euthanized. The truth…

Turns out critics don’t want the truth. But neither do the people they criticize, Sophia. Dear Lady, is that the reason I haven’t started on my autobiography? One more fear…

No! Last night, I was far too busy moaning OMG into my pillow. Looking at surprise, surprise, some lovely brunette on my phone. Fantasies? You deserve an honest book review:

Meditations… Because When In Rome

When in Rome… But I wouldn’t give the glory of that empire five stars. Yet Marcus Aurelius indeed makes it worth four stars with his work Mediations. His work, wow. If only he knew. If only I knew. I’m still trying to find that key to fifty million fables. But this book is a good place to start. I think… That’s the thing, I guess. Because I had to stop so many times to copy his quotes. At times, I was overwhelmed, which he was too, with this. And while I would share it with my friends… It wouldn’t necessarily be this version. “Context” is great. The Introduction had me ready to quit. Which would have been a big mistake.

I’m sure people will say my “life’s” work is one big mistake. But they’ll use far more colorful words. You know, I want to. But as I sat at the Day Job yesterday, the title of my autobiography came to mind… “B Before Stupid.” My son Braxton was/is my existence. Every page of this existence is filled with memories of him. His loss has left a gaping hole in my heart, yet to be filled.

But yesterday and this morning, after I finished being disgusting. I wanted to join Braxton. Sigh. Sophia, a fur buddy and a “good” girl, is all I want. But my BIII is gone. And 2-V?

Women… Uh? You know me. So does Cherry. I read her story this morning… Awkward

Don’t go throwing Little Shop of Horrors and Japanese anime into the same Crock Pot.

I should follow my own advice. Virgil, B Before Stupid.

1223 Days Without B III, Day 664 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 338 ~Height And Weight, Equally Evil~

WillLeave a comment

The question once wasn’t a man or a bear. There were two questions. How tall are you? And how much do you weigh? The reactions while I’m all, “Whether short or tall, we wanna thank you all for letting us… (do stuff).” Height And Weight, Equally Evil.

Monday, June 3, 2024

Tale 338 ~Height And Weight, Equally Evil~

Three-Hundredth And Forty-Sixth Rule

Madam Justice
Rules are made to be broken… And some don’t need to be talked about. Or I’m not in the mood. In the mood…

A woman once asked me if I always carry that… “lovin’ feelin’.” The truth is, yes, Ma’am, even in the face of the unbearable loss of my son, Braxton. There were 161 days of emptiness. I tried “filling” that void with OnlyFans, and then one evening, looking at Chloë Grace Moretz, I… (Cue Homer drool).

She’s as old as Cherry. And the thing is this. I would do precisely the same thing with them both, Madam. How you like that! But it’s better to keep my hands on the keyboard.

As I mentioned, I’m not in the mood, but I’m a hypocrite. Since my indifference led to my son’s departure to The Rainbow Bridge, I Feel Everything. I’m constantly battling with anger, sadness, and a strange mix of emotions. Things that make Pretty, pretty girls go… Eww! Rage, Depression, Lust…

Please, Madam, which is good, that makes the others evil.

Why is it okay to indulge in one and not the other? Like the unnamed narrator of Andrew Davidson’s novel, The Gargoyle, “I am an equal opportunity misanthropist.” That’s okay.

But amid this paradox, in this day and age, to quote George Orwell’s book Animal Farm, ‘All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.’ However, instead of delving into politics, societal issues, or my insignificance… I choose to focus on my two boys. Friend and Freeloader…

Braxton and Virgil are both my boys. But Braxton was/is my son. Virgil’s here, Madam. Even at 660 days, I don’t know what to make of him. But Little B III is frozen in time.

Always and forever, I’m his Dad. But a dog owner…

So let’s talk about me. If a girl asks my height, she’s allowed to do so. If I ask her weight, I’m rude. But I would do the same thing to Piper Niven as to Roxanne Perez. Now, if I could have them both… I know I need to stop, Madam. “Oh, there ain’t no rest for the wicked.” But what makes me wicked? Who says that about me? Do you want a list? Ha!

If people want me gone, that’s okay. But if I agree, suddenly, I need help.

If I have money, I’m a player; without it, I’m a per… Anyway, if I want everything, I’m greedy. If I want nothing… I am. Height And Weight, Equally Evil

“A Man Chooses, A Slave Obeys” ― Andrew Ryan, Bioshock

1219 Days Without B III, Day 660 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 337 ~Virgil, To B Quiet~

WillLeave a comment

Talking to myself today? I was much too tired earlier? I was at 3 AM with all the lights on and cut them off to wake up at 4. Virgil was silent the whole time. A quiet little life. My existing. That’s too much noise. Ask my son, B. Virgil, To B Quiet

Sunday, June 2, 2024

Tale 337 ~Virgil, To B Quiet~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you’re hoping to adopt Virgil’s stance on the matter. Not a sound or a sickening feeling.

And not one second to waste complaining. Make that this week’s goal. A wish right now… If you had one of those, it would be to bring Braxton back. ‘Had I known how to save a life?’ And what is Virgil? I won’t say I saved his life. No, far from it. But he is still here and quiet. What does that mean for me?

Well, he isn’t decorating the floor with all the rainbow colors. So yes, he’ll live. You could learn from him. That brings us to today. Yes, Braxton is still gone. But to learn from Virgil.

Keeping your mouth shut, 101.

And I’m sorry to say you’ve already failed. Or you will on Monday. Tuesday? Whatever.

It’s another sign of manhood. Producing children. The right to remain silent. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, OR…
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 021, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

But Virgil doesn’t have the “equipment.” He’ll never have to worry about being a pappy. And the right to remain silent only applies to particular men since “This Is America.” And I’m sorry I ended your streak regarding number four. Once looking at an Irish chick. Then there was Cherry’s melons (Homer drool). And Sophitia and Cassandra (Greek Women From The Soul Calibur Series). I can blame M Anime, Michael Dalton, and Eric Vall for those two blondes. The only time I go international. Entertainment…

This isn’t you complaining, though. I am telling you what I observed this week. Sigh.

Besides Virgil making all kinds of mess, I’m sure he only wants to feel better. So what about you? Virgil can’t tell you what he wants. What are your ideas? Ha-Ha! Besides, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Still Waiting To Be Determined
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You’re only trying to listen, which is harder than it looks. Please! Virgil is lying on his pillow, and you’re sitting in bed. One of you is learning from the other. Now, my little boy Braxton knew better. Little loudmouth.

So you want to hear Braxton’s voice again. Is that it? And what would he say about your existence? Would he be like the knights of old and say, “Never give up the quest.” Yourself? Honestly, you would prefer not to hear anything else ever again. “Mad World,” dreams in which you’re dying… But Virgil…

Whenever you leave, he cries. And that’s saying a lot. And you say far too much, so you need to publish a book. You’re not complaining but “observing” five months of making so much noise. Learn! Virgil, To B Quiet

1218 Days Without B III, Day 659 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will