Tag: Family

Journey 032 ~Virgil’s A B-Class Starship~

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It took a week for ants to destroy the house. I was seven when I humiliated myself on E-Day. When did I discover sleeping pills? When did my maid decide she was done? B was euthanized four years ago. Why can’t I take off? Virgil’s A B-Class Starship.

Saturday, August 2, 2025

Journey 032 ~Virgil’s A B-Class Starship~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Which means I have stock in Star Wars, Star Trek, and Starship Troopers. Today’s word: “BUGS!”

Sad, right? I am so sick and tired of being sad. The only question is, what am I crying about today? Don’t worry, Lady Lunalesca, we’ll get to the sick part. Yes, I’ll always be sad about my little boy, Braxton. But as I sit here at the dining room table, my eyes are shooting daggers at the wood the Carpenter Ants chewed through. I think about Braxton barking away.

It wouldn’t do much good, like all the products I bought yesterday to exterminate the ants. So much so, I forgot to buy things like water, peanut butter, actual butter, etc. As Matchbox Twenty sings, “I feel STUPID.” STUPID is sad, scared, and sick together.

Lunalesca, I don’t want to be sad anymore. But Virgil…

Scared? You’re damn right, I’m afraid, which is why I’m sitting here at the table, going out to spray anytime I see a speck of black. I might as well join the MAGA Cracker Hats demonizing black and brown people. Again, for me it’s “BUGS! BUGS!” It’s like something out of Helldivers II, and this is the Massacre of Malevelon Creek. A little late to the party. To think so many months before Lunalesca, I wanted a PS5. Effing STUPID!

Now I’m thinking of saving my ass from my Old Man when he sees this. What’s My Age Again? I’m old enough to have an effing workday, fix a fence, and hire people to stop the Carpenter Ants from destroying my boys’ home. But breathing…

Sickens me. I am sick, Lady Lu. The Walking Dead. And not one bug bite has been enough to release me from the mortal coil. Careful… AI has been dinging me for my ideas lately.

But you don’t know what it’s like, Lady Lunalesca. My STUPIDITY. The FEAR. A cure?

My son, of course. Braxton gave me courage I didn’t know I had. Saving, Protecting.

Where’s Braxton? A box on the nightstand and hopefully somewhere on the Rainbow Bridge. Virgil’s sleeping on his pillow. Thankfully, he’s bug-free. But this building…

Lunalesca, home? Invaded. And I couldn’t sleep until around 3 this morning. The idea of sex with M Anime, my boys’ potential stepmother. Taking off. She keeps me awake and alive. Virgil’s A B-Class Starship.

1644 Days Without B III, Day 1085 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 028 ~High Braxton, Hi Virgil~

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If I get too high, I’ll have no air. If I stay in my blood, ‘sweat’ and tears, I’ll drown. How dare I ask a girl to “Follow Me?” Better to be Uncle Kracker or Uncle/Dirty Harry than a MAGA Cracker Hat. My boys are better men. High Braxton, Hi Virgil.

Tuesday, July 29, 2025

Journey 028 ~High Braxton, Hi Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Can I say that without crying? I don’t want to look at myself. The time…

Hell! “Everyday Day Is Exactly The Same,” Sunday, January 31, 2021, to be precise, love. The day my honest to God… (God? Honest? Ha!) Anyway, the day that love died. Honestly, my Braxton hasn’t moved from the table in the vet’s office, the top of my nightstand, or the tippy top of my mind in four years. Again, 1640 days to be accurate, give or take a few hours. And what could I be doing in “These Final Hours,” beloved?

Trying to remember our wedding day? Dangerous words, right? I cried then and now. A trick of Braxton’s Favorite Girl. She told me that if her man wasn’t crying when she walked down the aisle, she was going back up. UP, higher ground, high ground…

What am I angling for? A movie night with you? To be “Drowning in your love.” Damn, Csapunch (Chrissy Allen) and her trip to see the Backstreet Boys. One more reason my eyes are all watery. I’ll burn my eyes out of my skull with all the social media BS.

Distractions. Like all these movies. “UP” shows us a ‘happy’ life in the first few minutes. The fanfare of all these apocalyptic movies, where the good guys always survive, my love. And the high ground… If you didn’t know that was a Star Wars reference, we wouldn’t be married. A few steps below my boys, Braxton and Virgil. Then our two-legged children, don’t talk badly about Star Wars. Why am I up in the clouds?

I think I’m higher than that. And that’s why I’m looking up. Would my head explode in space? How do I explain to you what’s happening to me, my love? My heart is bleeding and broken in this “Mad Season.” This “Cruel Summer,” with my “Summertime Sadness,” baby girl. And fearing I might drown from it all, the flood, I am seeking higher ground. Like “B.o.B.” I’m looking at “Airplanes” for a wish. My B is up there, and so I “get higher, baby, and don’t ever come down!” I’m not on drugs, but I feel like I could die.

How do I “Even” it out like Julien Baker sings about? Sometimes, all I need is “The Air That I Breathe.” High Braxton, Hi Virgil.

“Sometimes, all I need is the air that I breathe.
And to love you
All I need is the air that I breathe.
Yes, to love you”
― The Hollies

1640 Days Without B III, Day 1081 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 025 ~B Trade With Virgil~

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Ants have high hopes, right? Or all bugs. I saw one carrying something white, an egg or something, but it was a piece of the house… I check Virgil for bugs that might bring him down. Trading our lives for theirs? B Trade With Virgil.

Saturday, July 26, 2025

Journey 025 ~B Trade With Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Every day that becomes an even bigger lie. I might as well be a Cracker Hat.

A sell-out, a sucker, a slave to MAGA. FDT! I don’t want to talk about him today. But “Here I Am!” What the EFF does that even mean other than the fact I want to be Bryan Adams? What does it mean when my dog, death, or my dame… Dame? Do I mean Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime? “Someday,” she’ll “Find Me,” Luna.

But will I still be here? No money, masonry skill, and being “Manly.” I’m only that in the bedroom or wherever M Anime and I decide to Marvin Gaye and get it on, dear Lunalesca.

That comes later if I can stop quoting music. And what about crying over Braxton?

Lunalesca, I’ve cried today because learning any type of trade…

It’s just so hard. I should stop thinking about Cherry’s yabbos as well. What M Anime isn’t my girl… yet. And Cherry doesn’t want me. However, I’ve been talking to her a lot over the past few days. She’s been betrayed. Is that too much Lunalesca? She was possibly robbed, maybe. You know how I feel about the tech world. I shed a few tears about that last night in bed. “Be Not So Fearful.” If I were a Jack of all Trades and wasn’t surrounded by traitors, Lunalesca. Yes, Eff MAGA, Eff the Cracker Hats, and FDT! But what am I going to do?

Offer her money for her Yabbos? I am so broke yet buying more books. And never forget, I betrayed Braxton.

I couldn’t save my firstborn son. And as far as my second-born son, Virgil. Braxton’s little brother is bug-free. And what about the rest of the house? I need to clean up Lunalesca. Prison, tomb…

Why? August 13th is Virgil’s “Gotcha Day.” I don’t want to remember “September.” And now I see that “The Long Walk” is coming out on September 12th. Should I survive that effing month, “Wake Me Up When September Ends,” I’ll be “Gone Till November.” Will M Anime be here by then? Or sometime at “The Closing Of The Year.” I’m trading my time right now for what? The man I am for a man I could be. Not crying for Braxton and being in M Anime’s panties. Loving, Living, I’m here B Trade With Virgil.

1637 Days Without B III, Day 1078 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 021 ~Homes For B, Virgil~

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I was supposed to buy a big yard for B. I don’t know how Virgil feels about living here. And myself? I’m looking for a box, or to go up to space. This rock’s annoying. “Too many men, too many people, making too many problems.” Yet Homes For B, Virgil

Tuesday, July 22, 2025

Journey 021 ~Homes For B, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And if you’re a fan of Christmas. Well, that’s one more thing to apologize for.

I swear I almost started our conversation with “I’ll B Home,” which goes all the way back to Tale 066 ~ I’ll B Home Virgil~ on Tuesday, September 5, 2023, to be precise. Everything in its place, My Love. So why am I sitting here this afternoon listening to this monstrosity?

“I’ll Be Home for Christmas.” Effing Christmas In July! Effing Hallmark Channel! Or was it QVC? Whatever! This is what happens when your poor excuse for a husband is sitting on his ass “writing” about my euthanized son. Make it plain. Braxton is gone. And Virgil is sitting on his pillow wanting some attention. “But you don’t look ashamed, and baby, I’m not scared.” I wish I could sing that. I wish it were true.

I wouldn’t be surprised if you were ashamed of me. And honestly, I’m effing terrified.

“FEAR does not exist in this dojo!” Only it’s not that. This is our home. And it’s not you that’s following me. “Follow Me.” Where to? No, it’s my Braxton who followed me for fifteen years. And on Sunday, January 31, 2021, he decided to follow me for four more years and then some.

I’m not effing MAGA! I’m not an effing Cracker Hat! And me as President… Seriously!

My Love, I want to be a good husband, father, if anything, Just A Man. But I have no place.

Where do my furry sons go? My sins. And what about my “sausage.” Sorry, I’m both hungry and horny. It’s been a long day, baby.

I’m trying to make space. I’m trying to “Hold Space” as in “The Book of Clarence.” Am I ever going to get off of this loveseat? For you, my Sputnik, my crazy Satellite Girl, anything.

I’m not one for cutesy nicknames. But that song from Jerry Engler and the Four Ekkos does it for me. Yeah, it was lying with you on a Sunday Morning that led to me ‘filling you up’. Next thing we know, we need a bigger house to make a home for all of Braxton and Virgil’s two-legged siblings. But what else needs a home? Money? Not much of that left. Making room in my heart for more Love. You, our children. I’m big, small, nothing.

Homeless. Homes For B, Virgil.

“Welcome to my world (welcome to my world)
Welcome to my only world (my only world)
It is full of space junk
But your words are coming through
I’m riding on the space junk
And it’s bringing me to you.”

1633 Days Without B III, Day 1074 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 018 ~B’s Breathless, Sorry V~

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Stop and catch your breath. There’s the scent of my Braxton sitting on my head. There’s Virgil that has crept up. There’s the sweat from the Day Job… No, that’s FEAR. And is that M Anime’s perfume? Only in the Winter air. B’s Breathless, Sorry V

Saturday, July 19, 2025

Journey 018 ~B’s Breathless, Sorry V~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… But with the billionaires I know, a lobotomy is free. Only it shouldn’t be. Nothing is.

Eric Vall’s books aren’t. I spent most of last night reciting one in my head to get back to sleep, Lunalesca. And speaking of books, Backyard Dungeon 18, Pledged To Him 2, and Alas, Babylon… Both the book and the saying. And where the Eff did I get ten bucks!

Nowhere, Lady Lunalesca. As a matter of fact, I won’t be getting paid next week.

Lunalesca, I sit here wondering. No! I know why I didn’t leave Braxton to such a fate as starvation. Am I starving? I have money in the bank, but it’s nowhere near enough. That’s like saying I have Virgil here, but he’s not my Braxton. Was that a dig? I could use a Snickers. You’re not you when you’re hungry.

I swear, effing Pop Culture! Or should I go on a rant about MAGA? Eff MAGA! FDT! I need to catch my breath. Lu, I’ve needed to catch my breath since Sunday, January 31, 2021. I would have given it to Braxton if I knew he could have survived. Breathing!

“Out-standing! Did he have the balls to die there?”
Jarhead

Besides ending my son’s breathing, the second worst thing I’ve ever done is draw breath. And my days are spent trying to rectify that mistake. Why do you think I slept so late today? There are so many things outside. “The Long Walk.” If I had ten dollars to waste, I should have bought “The Running Man.” Do I really need more Stephen King, Luna?

FEAR is everywhere and always chasing. But I keep going.

And that’s another reason Virgil and I are a match made in Hell. As I went to pick him up this morning to keep him away from bugs, Virgil spun around me like a tornado.

Lunalesca, it was the bat I carried that scared him. Virgil obviously took a beating in his previous life. And then he ended up in this Hell with me. V had to keep breathing, Lu.

And since I won’t drown in my tears. And FEAR can only take my breath for a second, what else is there? Yabbos? Eww! But hear me out. I would love to be smothered to death by Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom M Anime’s Big’Uns. But that involves breathing till Winter. B’s Breathless, Sorry V

1630 Days Without B III, Day 1071 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 014 ~Braxton’s The Bar, Virgil~

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It’s not some “Summertime Sadness…” (Cherry would appreciate this.) And I would say it’s a “Cruel Summer…” (Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom will visit in the Winter). Anyway, Hell seems to be full-time. But ice water? Braxton’s The Bar, Virgil

Tuesday, July 15, 2025

Journey 014 ~Braxton’s The Bar, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I tell you that all the time. Braxton. Virgil? Our two-legged kids. But a drink.

I could use a drink. No! “I could really use a wish right now.” There are plenty of “Airplanes” in the night sky. Or there will be with Effing MAGA in charge. But FDT, two times! Besides, I don’t want to talk about the Epstein List. We, being parents, Love.

Today I have you, my beautiful wife. There’s Braxton. There will always be Braxton, as he told me yesterday, “You’ll Be In My Heart” from the Rainbow Bridge, Heaven, wherever.

I checked Virgil, who seems to be bug-free. Maybe a few bites, but nothing I can see to pull off. And speaking of pulling things off. Being a good dad to our two-legged kids. Trying.

With all my blessings, I wish I could stop crying.

Oh No, “My Love!” These aren’t happy tears. Not like the Sia song from The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. If anything, the tears help wash off the blood of my firstborn furry son. But I wasn’t crying for Braxton. Not today.

Would that make it better? I had around seventy days just for that after he died. As I worked on Braxton’s novel, I was reminded of the Assistant Store Manager. Eff that guy! Effing meathead. Anyway, he moved me from the Denial stage to Anger. Freaking Vampire, Zombie, Effing TICK! A parasite is what I am. Maybe I’ll catch something and join Little B III.

Enough bites to bleed out. But “I just-just got-to-got-to-got-to” keep the blood pumping, don’t I? I’m saving Virgil, I love you, and a man provides.

“Here Comes Success.” I should toast to it. But then I wouldn’t remember. Forgetfulness and Ignorance. Joy and Pain, as Frankie Beverly sings on. Did you know? I didn’t, Love.

You didn’t know I would be such a crybaby who sweats bullets, bleeds for my boys. And my sexual appetite. I wish I could keep it in my pants. Have you looked in a mirror?

“Because maybe. You’re gonna be the one that saves me. And after all. You’re my wonderwall,” thank you, Ryan Adams. But seriously, “My Love,” “Remember when we first met. And everything was still a bet, in Love’s game. SIGH, I spit out songs. Filling you up, sweating for THEM, crying for B. I’m left. A desert. Braxton’s The Bar, Virgil.

1626 Days Without B III, Day 1067 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 011 ~FEAR ME, B, V~

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Be Not So Fearful. I wish. I fear my book… No! Braxton’s book will not be a success, and what does that mean? I’d join Braxton, but don’t I have to look after his little brother Virgil? And their “stepmom” needs a house to visit. “FEAR ME, B, V”

Saturday, July 12, 2025

Journey 011 ~FEAR ME, B, V~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… But I’m not Bone Crusher. “I ain’t never scared.” And he ain’t a billionaire. And me?

“At first I was afraid, I was petrified. Thinking I could live without you by my side.” Oh, what would my little Braxton think of me? The usual. “My Daddy’s weird.” Anytime I would pick him up to dance. “May I Have This Dance?” I haven’t asked Virgil that, Lu.

Every day after “The Long Walk,” I check his little face and all over for any sign of ticks. Do you remember when that was my greatest fear? It was only a few days ago.

Lunalesca, what I fear the most, though I didn’t know it at the time, is watching my son, my Braxton, die. Talk about being scared to death. And I was too STUPID to follow him.

Lunalesca, what do I fear?

I haven’t been so scared since “The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident…” Should I turn to OnlyFans again? I have around twenty bucks there. And speaking of medical “emergencies,” I haven’t been this scared since I had to get my ears irrigated. It was more like somebody “ran a train” on my right ear. A Bukkake scene on my ear, Lunalesca.

Effing waking up this morning, I had a severe case of FOMO, so I was on “X” cutting up scenes from Saimin Seishidou: The Case of Miyajima Tsubaki. Why does it frighten me not to come first… Bad choice of words? And we’ll speak about M Amine soon, my Lu.

What has been scaring me the most, to quote Aloe Blacc, “I Need a Dollar.”

“Are you scared? We’re all scared. You’d have to be crazy not to be scared.”
Major Chip Hazard “Small Soldiers”

My boys and I are all small men. Again, a bad choice of words. I lifted my Braxton so high, I sent him straight to Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, or wherever. I carry Virgil high above the green, trying to avoid bugs and keep him from joining his brother, Lunalesca.

With any luck, it will be a long time. “And love is a long, long road.” I expected Braxton would have silver fur when his time came. First, second, third, the “Love of My Life.”

Will that be playing when I’m with Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime? I don’t know, but she’s shared how she wants to “make love.” “Come Together,” right now. Over me. If I survive FEAR. FEAR ME, B, V

1623 Days Without B III, Day 1064 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 007 ~Virgil, Tune Of B~

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This ends week one on this Journey. What do I have to say? I’d rather say nothing. But M Anime and I are tempting each other. Braxton says nothing because he’s still dead, and I’m not writing. What’s in Virgil’s little head? “Virgil, Tune Of B.”

Tuesday, July 8, 2025

Journey 007 ~Virgil, Tune Of B~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But will we skip a “Love Song” today or two? You know me too well.

My ears hurt. Well, my head hurts. Trust me, I know when something’s wrong with my ears. I still hear the silence my firstborn son left behind. Is it scary that I’d joined B III? “Anytime, anyplace, anywhere, if you ever need me, I’ll be there.” A blood oath to my son. More like Bloodsport. But as much as I want to lie here and watch movies with you, My Love, there is a reason we’re speaking early this Monday, July 7, 2025, 3:00 PM.

Beloved, “Any Time, Any Place.” Dancing with you to Janet Jackson vs me crying over Braxton. That’s a whole other conversation. Not that I would ever deny you, My Love. Today, I would deny myself. “Feeling super, super (super!) su*cidal.”

If I don’t tell you, who would I tell? “Well, I feel STUPID. But it’s something that comes and goes.” I haven’t been good over the last couple of weeks on this Journey we call life. “Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today. To get through this thing called life.”

The more I try to cut the music off, the more that comes through. There is too much noise, My Love. I can handle the smell of replacing Virgil Vivi’s potty/training spot. In and out.

They call that breathing. And I can’t stand the sound of me breathing at all. What about the silent tears coursing down my face? It’s either Braxton or my exhaustion. And effing technology! Every beep and boop has me jumping.

Fireworks. They annoy V and B. They explode by the house. I’m ain’t “Never Scared.”

But the noise. Not at all like your pillow talk. Or should I go ahead and say your dirty talk? And the sounds your mouth makes when you’re doing other things, to me… For me. Your moans, whispers, cries, and screams. It’s like I’m John Seed, The Power of YES. It’s your heartbeat I care about, your breathing. When I know you’re going to explode.

So I won’t go getting “Tired Of You.” I’m tired of myself. I want to quit crying over Braxton sometimes. Or listening to Virgil’s munching and crying about whatever’s wrong with his eating. I want to quit digging my own grave. Virgil, Tune Of B

1619 Days Without B III, Day 1060 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 004 ~Between B-V Lies FU~

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So, what are my plans today? Hell! I was asking AI the same question, or more to the point. How can I publish Braxton’s book by the 25th? Because, as my uncle would sing, “When my money ran out?” He has Jesus. I had B. And V… Between B-V Lies FU

Saturday, July 5, 2025

Journey 004 ~Between B-V Lies FU~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… It’s funny, I keep saying that. Does it look like I’m having fun? Eff, Lady Lunalesca.

Well, that comes later. And I’ll be with Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime.

I’ll probably be crying out for her the way Winston Smith called for Julia, Lunalesca. Again, my “Wildest Dreams” come later. And yes, I have a Taylor Swift fantasy. “Creep.”

No, I should be listening to “Boys Don’t Cry.” So, what had me crying on this lovely Saturday morning? As usual, Braxton is still dead. I’m worried about Virgil; he’s eating, but what’s eating him? I pulled a tick off his ear yesterday. Remind me to invest in alcohol, my Lady. Both the type to throw ticks in and the kind you drink, since I’d like to forget about Norton Antivirus. No one’s saying, “Forget your troubles, c’mon get happy.”

Now you know I don’t do HAPPY. If you asked me what would make me HAPPY, my most simplistic answer would be NO FEAR. Give me one day when I’m not in tears and afraid, Lady Lunalesca. Can I bring back the dead? Have B barking, “Be Not So Fearful”

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile, Staind

“I’m tired of being afraid all the time. I’ve decided not to stay.”
Brooks Hatlen

So I look for what’s funny and fun, it’s Saturday. “Every Day Is Exactly The Same” to me, my Lady. Sunday, January 31, 2021. I hate the weekdays, and I haven’t thought about anything good about Sunday until M Anime. She said Maroon 5’s “Sunday Morning” reminded her of me. Texting her and trading pictures with her sans our clothing makes me feel a little less effed. Ironically we’ll be effing “All Night Long” someday.

Braxton kept me from effing myself in more ways than one. My furry son, Lunalesca.

This brings us to today. As I was walking with Virgil Vivi today, I thought our journey was less fun. I have to watch out for spider webs and keep the several million bugs off of him. Silly Virgil, EAT!

And despite all this, I made it to the Dining Room table for the second day in a row, Lu.

So I was thinking, what do I do for fun? Music, Movies, and Manuscripts. Oh, and look at the mammaries. M Anime’s, Cherry’s, and even Jane’s from “SeeJaneGoTV.” I swear, I’m “Just A Man,” one of many remarking on her Yabbos. But she liked the comment. Seriously. Mentioning Yabbos, only…

Like Squid Game’s Gi-hun, “I’m F*cked” Between B-V Lies FU.

1616 Days Without B III, Day 1057 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 365 ~The B-Vs of Anniversaries~

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Happy Anniversary. Should I say that today or tomorrow? And what will tomorrow be? No more Meditations. I’m headed into my ninth year. I’m trying to get Virgil to five. His food’s here. No one’s stopping him. Love is here. “The B-Vs of Anniversaries”

Tuesday, July 1, 2025

Meditation 365 ~The B-Vs of Anniversaries~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And when is our anniversary again? Do I have a Deathwish? I plead the 5th.

I didn’t want to start today, of all days, like this, my love. Sounding like MAGA. Eff MAGA always and forever. And FDT! But what about today? Meditation 365, beloved.

“Anniversary.” Who am I, Tony? Toni! Toné? I’ve been writing for going on 9 years. I can’t answer this question. Who am I? Your husband, lover, best friend. “My Love”

Where Is My Mind? We have our family. Our children. Two-legged ones at that. Dogdad? For my boys, Braxton and Virgil. “Always and Forever” Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night.” Always and Forever. And can we talk about this “Heatwave”? Hmm.

No, because I Just Can’t Stop Loving You. You’re mine. But my mind. Virgil’s mind. That’s where I am today.

Oh, and not looking in the mirror? I can’t tell you I’ll ever be one for a tux or any black-tie affair. Although black is my favorite color. And I’d always like to be ready for a funeral. In particular, my own. STOP IT! I hear you, baby doll; I really do. But speaking of dressing in black, what about my black skin? I took pictures of my “Enormous Pen*s.”

You know, as “Da Vinci’s Notebook” sings about. And while I’m pretty proud that my meat is murder… How many kids do we have now? I’m kidding. But I don’t understand how you can stand to look at me sometimes. I was walking with Virgil, and he looked so skinny yesterday. Like father, like son?

I have a heart after all to worry about him, so. And my soul is already condemned for B III. I won’t send Virgil to follow his Big Brother Braxton to the Rainbow Bridge. Which is why I was feeding him by hand last night. And there’s no Anniversary shenanigans.

Lessons, Episodes, Logs, Gospels, Chronicles, Sagas, Tales, and finally Meditations. Honestly, what will the next year bring? “Tomorrow,” If I were famous like Salif Keita.

“Lovin’ is what I got.” And ain’t that Sublime. I promised you “All Of Me.” Mind, body, and soul. But my mind, besides everywhere else, has been with my boys. I was ashamed of my body, like Winston in 1984. And my soul is lost between “The B-V’s of Anniversaries.”

1612 Days Without B III, Day 1053 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will