Tag: History

Journey 081 ~Finding For B, Virgil~

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What’s harder, reading this, watching the back wall for 3 to 7 hours, or looking at myself in the mirror? Uh, the wall, but my eyes hurt. It’s why I prefer looking for my lost son. A problem with no answer. Virgil. Be positive. Finding For B, Virgil.

Saturday, September 20, 2025

Journey 081 ~Finding For B, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… No. If anything, I’ve forgotten how to count. To exist. To my Ex. To XXX. Ha!

I find plenty of that. But I can’t seem to find my E-Day cake in the freezer. It isn’t deserved.

Neither are all my bad words, which is why I’ve been trying something since yesterday.

Limiting myself to a 100, well, 125 today, depreciating words. Censorship on my depression, Lady Luna. I swear, every day I become more and more like those MAGA Cracker Hats. But you know how the world is. The war on Truth and Sadness is Real.

Lunalesca, it’s who I am. And you would figure it would be easier to lose myself since most days I’m screaming at myself in the mirror, I hate you so much right now! But today:

“Don’t you ever tame your demons
But always keep ’em on a leash.”
Arsonist’s Lullabye

I found myself thinking of Braxton again. I saw the three dots on Virgil’s back, B’s little brother. One on his head. One around his hips, (Hurry Up and Wait), the life of a writer. And the last dot is near his tail—a sign of joy. We sat sharing French fries I got from this food truck that I’ve been meaning to visit for weeks. As Morpheus screamed, Lunalesca:

“We are still here!”
Morpheus

Maybe I’ll try the food truck’s chicken today. I still have ten simoleons from budgeting. It allowed me to try something new, and isn’t that a good thing? Though I am buying books from a series I’m continuing. “Pledged To Him 6: An Unconventional Romance (His Sorority Harem Book Six)” by Neil Bimbeau. Going out into the world, Lady Luna.

Or sitting quietly with Virgil…

Oh, another thing. I bought a new pair of earbuds, too. Are the hours at the Day Job getting any better? Anything that has me looking out at the world. You know that Tupac song, “Starin’ Through My Rear View.” My son, my sons are alive. I’m grateful for Virgil.

And when I do right by myself, that’s doing right for my Braxton. Honoring him.

Lunalesca, that is how I will see him. I wasn’t watching the clock when I was on the loveseat, sharing lunch with his little brother. And it’s better I change these words—every single letter. When I see tomorrow, not if, when like DJ Khaled “All I Do Is Win.”

Lunalesca “It’s Time To Win.” Always, Finding For B, Virgil.

1693 Days Without B III, Day 1134 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 077 ~Aisles B, V, M~

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Holding my boys’ leashes, holding my woman’s hand, holding my kids who can’t walk yet. Hell! I would settle for holding enough cash to afford a proper meal. But I’m busy holding all this FEAR because it’s not selling. Like my book ha… Aisles B, V, M.

Tuesday, September 16, 2025

Journey 077 ~Aisles B, V, M~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Enough to take “The Long Walk” down the aisle to wait for you. I’m waiting.

“I had hoped we could have made it [to] the altar.” M Anime, Aug 24th

You’re waiting. Still waiting for me to stop playing Charlie Kirk. You know, saying STUPID sh*t about… How do THEY say these days, being “unalived?” I wonder if Inspector Echo thinks that a sin. Why should I care? I’m not a religious man, my love.

Once upon a time, I was an Atheist. Then I became a father for the first time. B III’s dad.

And as I contemplate the things I need to buy to save my life. My Old Man called. But I’ve been thinking about places where I feel Braxton’s soul the most. One of those places is an aisle in PetSmart, next to Virgil’s food and Banfield, where Braxton passed away.

Love, I should have joined him and not just watched.

I watched and waited and walked that aisle alone, carrying what was left of existence. And you walked down the aisle with or without your father. I’ve forgotten, maybe.

Beloved, all I know is you were coming to claim what I had left. All that I was willing to give to you freely. Is it too much? Today is Friday, September 12, 2025. Effing heavy.

Darling, I’ve been weighed down in this chair all day long except for emergencies. Ha! Again with “The Long Walk.” “He just kept picking them up and laying them down.”

Our kids, my feet, and I want to say my FEAR. No FEAR is the one thing I don’t need to shop for today. It’s free, unlike me. I can’t.

“You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting.”
Daniel 5:27, The Book of Daniel

Even when I sit down to watch a movie. I hated my childhood, but to be as carefree as a kid again, going to Video Express or Blockbuster. Am I showing my age, “Forty-One” ha!

“Ben-Hur,” “The Long Walk,” and, to add a movie to the list, “Exit 8.” I’m “The Lost Man.” And I look at you going down every aisle, hallway, and threshold, and I close my eyes and wonder. Are you the anomaly? Should I turn around and run away, my love?

“Give me one reason to stay here, and I’ll turn right back around.” It’s what you’re singing to me. And even if I found that reason, is it diapers, milk, and bread, or a drink? Myself? Aisles B, V, M.

1689 Days Without B III, Day 1130 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 074 ~Virgil, Plan B Wishes~

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I’m not a repairman, a plumber, an exterminator, a builder, or anything else. So how could I be a friend, a lover, a husband, or a father? I don’t want to be here now, or tell me I’m alive and well after Thursday. I need a plan. Virgil, Plan B Wishes

Saturday, September 13, 2025

Journey 074 ~Virgil, Plan B Wishes~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means Virgil would be set for life. Braxton’s Favorite Girl, Cherry. I’d have M Anime.

If only the world were a better place. Suppose I weren’t sick every morning for the last few months. Why do you think I was late this morning? It’s 5:50. I slept in my clothes.

Suppose people weren’t rushing to honor Cracker Hats like Charlie Kirk. Though to be fair, Lu… I keep saying it. The world would be a better place if I had never been born, my friend. Making a black man’s life miserable. That’s something Ole Mr. Charlie and I have in common. Except, I never mean to hurt anybody, Lu. But how does Pink sing it:

“Every day I fight a war against the mirror
I can’t take the person staring back at me

I’m a hazard to myself
Don’t let me get me
I’m my own worst enemy
It’s bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don’t wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
I wanna be somebody else, yeah”
Don’t Let Me Get Me, Pink

That’s what I woke up to. And it’s only going to get worse if my Dad has anything to say.

Oh, he will. I’m dead.

I’ll share that with Inspector E—my final humiliating day. Dad is arriving on Thursday.

But this morning, well, actually yesterday, as I was talking to Dear Future Wife and reading over M Anime’s final words to me… I don’t think she’s coming back, Lunalesca.

And while everything is telling me to go chasing after her… Too late to “Apologize.” Only what did I do? So I have to read about her exploits that sound pretty similar to any HaremLit title I’ve read. Today it was Kelli Wolfe’s “Babysitter Harem: Chloe: Age Gap MFFF Menage Erotica.” Well, minus the age gap. M Anime is in her thirties. And lest I ever forget I am “Forty-One.” (Ben-Hur galley drums) Or is that my feet pounding away?

I should be running. If anything, that’s “Plan B.” Not if M Anime was around. Like I told Braxton’s Favorite Girl. M Anime was damn near perfect. “I Like It Rough,” she would sing. She wanted to have babies. And now she’s going to be the third “F” in some Cuban guy’s MFFF lifestyle. Not that I judge her for that. Sadly, she’s a “liar, a cheater, a deceiver, heart breaker.” You know everything Profyle says. Lunalesca, honestly, Plan B.

“Without or without you
With or without you, oh”
U2

Braxton and his little brother Virgil, M Anime, a bunch of cats, three kids, and a house that wasn’t falling apart. That was Plan A. Now trying to fix the house. Is that Plan B?

Virgil needs shooting stars, “B.o.B’s Airplanes.” Virgil, Plan B Wishes.

1686 Days Without B III, Day 1127 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 070 ~Braxton’s My Lookout Virgil~

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Should’ve watched Don’t Look Up on E-Day. B would look up at me, and to me literally. But his little brother V… Not so much. Like father, like son. I can’t stand to look in the mirror. And the girl I thought saw me. Nah. “Braxton’s My Lookout Virgil”

Tuesday, September 9, 2025

Journey 070 ~Braxton’s My Lookout Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Hell, I haven’t seen Braxton in four years. But I’m Whitney Houston or Dolly Parton.

I Will Always Love You. I will always love my sons, Braxton and Virgil. I will always love our children. I’ll Always Love My Mama. And I will always love you. But who are you?

I’ve been asking myself the same question since E-Day has come and gone. I’m forty-one.

And I’m the guy who still hears the drumbeat of the galley slaves from the 1959 film, Ben-Hur. Or is that the beating of my “Hideous Heart.” I’m still not Edgar Allen Poe, my love.

It could be my footsteps during “The Long Walk.” Forty-one years, and I don’t have Ray Garraty’s heart. And while I’m not a MAGA Cracker Hat, I wish I could sing as Kid Rock did. “So I think I’ll keep a walkin’, with my head held high. I’ll keep movin’ on. And only God knows why.” But I’m not looking for God. I’m looking for you, I’m looking at you.

And I’ve been thinking about everything I didn’t say I wanted for E-Day on Sunday, September 7, 2025. Emergence, Existence, Extinction, Evolution… God so much Effing. I Want You in a Bob Dylan way, via James Blunt. Looking at you is worth a 1000 Words.

And I want you to seek me out like Final Fantasy X and X-2. Yuna and her aeons, the truth, her love. Once upon a time, you told me that you would. The plan, honestly.

Dearest love, I wonder if you even know what the truth is anymore. Forty-One love.

Perhaps I should say Forty-Love because I still was when I saw “Always and Forever.”

Love, I can still hear “Heatwave,” and I can always see you, but you’re looking unfamiliar to me. I hate looking at myself, but all I have created. The love I instilled in my boys.

Braxton and Virgil. They allow me to see the man I want to be. And the one who failed them. And now I look at you and again I think of “The Long Walk,” Jan? No, you’re one in the Crowd. Julia? No, you’re the Party. I hate people, but I love you. I want to. I want to see someone worthy of love. Which is why, with forty-one years now. Braxton’s My Lookout Virgil

1682 Days Without B III, Day 1123 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 067 ~That’ll B E-Day, Virgil~

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THEY say that comedy comes in threes. And my existence would have been better as zero. Hell, isn’t that the score even at “Forty-One” Tomorrow? What about my two boys? I’m also thinking of two other puppies and ruining E-Day. That’ll B E-Day, Virgil.

Saturday, September 6, 2025

Journey 067 ~That’ll B E-Day, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Well, no. “Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow,” as Rick Grimes put it. How do I?

Am I still talking about E-Day? Three E-Days in particular. As you know, it’s not a day I want to remember. It’s a day that shouldn’t exist. And yet here I am bringing no joy.

Luna, it’s like I said on the 5th. No, I’m not pleading the 5th. I’m not a MAGA Cracker Hat.

I can prove it. On one particular E-Day, I bought myself a Fleshlight. A few of the sleeves, to be honest. There was also a type of interactive device that connected my “Strokin” to a porn video. And speaking of video, I also bought my first camera and discovered Exhibitionism. Don’t ask me where Braxton was; thankfully, he wasn’t around. I have no qualms about my body. Then M Anime…

Fortunately, I’m still friends with Braxton’s Favorite Girl. I haven’t spoken to M Anime in about two weeks, and she’s made the E-Day coming this Sunday particularly harder, Lady Lunalesca. Having the third-worst day of my existence, her breakup coincided with the second-worst day. My Emergence, my birth. I lost a friend, but I got one on E-Day, too. Balance.

Braxton’s Favorite Girl and I met at the movies, though we’d been talking forever. Nerve. For the record, I preferred the 2016 film “Nerve” to the actual novel. Anyway, we came back to the house, and yes, Braxton hated her at the time… Before she became his favorite. We watched “Secretary” from 2002 and Extreme Movie and ate reheated pizza. A rather decent E-Day, Lunalesca.

Then there was my Fortieth E-Day, where I made a ten-page gallery of me in my… for lack of a better term, “Birthday Suit.” (Cringes). Not at my body, but at that word Lady Luna. It was for way too much money, but I’m thinking of lowering it. Desperate times.

E-Day Fund

And to think, M Anime got to see it for free. So did B’s Fav Girl. And what about Cherry? She would kick my ass if I showed her my BBC. She’s British, which means she gets plenty of BBC across the pond. Eww. That was rude. What’s ruder is I’ll be Forty-One, Lady Lu.

B’s brother Virgil is eating well. But I won’t be seeing Cherry’s or M Anime’s Yabbos.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

That’ll B E-Day, Virgil.

1679 Days Without B III, Day 1120 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 063 ~B Where E-Day Virgil~

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I don’t want to hear the ticking of the clock. Hell! I don’t want to listen to my own breath. It’s been over a week since I talked to “HER.” And B would be busy stuffing his face on E-Day. And I can’t buy a feast for V on Sunday. B Where E-Day Virgil

Tuesday, September 2, 2025

Journey 063 ~B Where E-Day Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And that scares me. I don’t fear loving myself because I just can’t. Braxton? Virgil?

The only time I feared loving my boys was Braxton at the end of his life. And Virgil, at the beginning of his life here with me. A father shouldn’t have favorites. But my Braxton?

Braxton was/is my boy. Will I love Virgil as much? Should I make that my E-Day wish this year? I was taking a nap this afternoon, Monday, September 1, 2025, hoping I wouldn’t have to wake up. But “Here I Am” wishing for my boys, myself your Will. But Wife.

Baby doll, darling, my dear wife. Ever since Sunday, August 24, 2025, this E-Day. Eff!

“Here And Now,” it’s looking to be the worst since the very first, and this one I’ll be “Forty-One”. I looked up the thirty-seventh E-Day.

Tuesday, September 7, 2021 Chronicle 068 ~B III The Emergence~ It was merely a wish list of thirty-seven things that I wanted. I never imagined I’d question these things, love:

  1. To fix my fucking mouth once and for all
  2. To never be told or feel like I’m STUPID
  3. To know Manhood as in never calling my father
  4. One single day without fear of anything at all
  5. A method to forget the things that distress me
  6. Three little words, “I Love You,” and mean it
  7. To look in the mirror and not hate myself

Regarding you. Ask me how I know I’m not MAGA, one of those Effing Cracker Hats. I don’t wake up intending to hurt anyone, love.

Okay, in Fifty Shades of Grey, Secretary (2002), Cool Devices: Yellow Star, and any of my novels, sort of way. Yes, I want to hurt you. I’m just a “Sucker For Pain.” I want you “Closer” I wanna fuck you like an animal. “I want to fucking tear you apart.” All of it love. “And isn’t it ironic, don’t you think?” The fact that I hate the day of my birth with every fiber of my being. I was counting on being with you, saying we’ve created life. My Creed.

Darling, “With Arms Wide Open,” with my eyes wide open, if I thought you’d hear me. But you didn’t, Nobody Knows it but me” Yet you’re my “Obsession.” Still beats E-Day. B Where E-Day Virgil

1675 Days Without B III, Day 1116 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 060 ~Braxton and Virgil Clocked~

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This time last Saturday, life was beating me down, but I had the “love” of a “good” woman. Rico and Carmen. Time keeps on slipping into the future as Seal sang. T-minus eight days until E-Day. I hate Sundays. It’s Saturday. Braxton and Virgil Clocked

Saturday, August 30, 2025

Journey 060 ~Braxton and Virgil Clocked~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… “And it’s been awhile” as the song goes that I haven’t found something to complain about.

But I would never EVER take that out on my boys. And isn’t that why B III got his Lu?

Being so angry that I ignored him, I was INDIFFERENT. And when I recognized… Lunalesca, Braxton was all but gone. We’re talking Thursday through Saturday.

Lunalesca, Sunday was Braxton’s “great getting’ up mornin’” No, I’m not John Rawlins, aka Morgan Freeman from Glory. Though I’m sure Virgil is looking forward to his morning Glory. Uh, bathroom break. And that’s because I feel like the butt of a rifle has hit me after yesterday. That’s what bad writing, watching the wall, and realizing you’ve wasted your life does to you. I was literally sitting in the car, telling myself AHEM, Congratulations, you wasted your life “Forty-One.”

T-Minus eight days until E-Day. Have I ever told you how much I hate Sundays? And yes, I know what day it is. 1672 days ago, my son Braxton died on a Sunday. M Anime broke up with me last Sunday. This coming Sunday. Will I even be able to watch WWE’s Clash in Paris? And the Sunday after that is EFFING E-Day. Emergence, Existence, Extinction, and possible Evolution. And I did say my head hurt, didn’t I? Both heads.

Effing M Anime is still on the brain? In more ways than one. “I don’t know why I didn’t come.” Inside her? First off, Eww! Secondly, I’m not Norah Jones. And third, stop wasting time. What, on beating myself up? When will I be happy?

When the hands of the clock aren’t beating me down. When I can’t hear the incessant ticking. When I don’t take a look around and see the crumbling, cracking, and creepy crawlers. Not to mention the MAGA Cracker Hats. When I don’t count out food and tell myself to savor the TASTE, and all I get are toxins all over. And SMELL? I hate breathing.

As I hate the beat of my heart, the day of my birth, the loss of my Braxton. And boobies?

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

I can’t hate Yabbos. Not even M Anime’s which I was thinking about this morning.

Lunalesca, when will I speak to her again? It’s been almost a week. Years, Lunalesca. Friendship destroyed in seconds. Tick Tock. Braxton and Virgil Clocked.

All of my life
Where have you been
I wonder if I’ll ever see you again
And if that day comes
I know we could win
I wonder if I’ll ever see you again

1672 Days Without B III, Day 1113 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 056 ~B’s Not Gone V~

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Allow me to get my Lisa Loeb on. “You say, I only hear what I want to.” Don’t use a condom. “Ok.” Maybe I’ll get pregnant. “Ok, I ain’t got no money but I’m with you.” Three kids, V, cats. “Ok, bring it on.” I’m marrying someone else! B’s Not Gone V.

Tuesday, August 26, 2025

Journey 056 ~B’s Not Gone V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But who are you? Who am I? Most days, I’m a dead man walking. Today?

Hell, every day! Honestly, at this moment, I’m a Dog Dad. Braxton’s gone. Virgil remains.

“I’m still breathing, I’m still breathing. I’m alive!”
Alive, Sia

“Look at me! I’m life. I live… I, I breathe… I feel. Now that you know it… can you really take it? Is it really worth the price?”
Equilibrium (2002)

I promised my boy that I would always feel because it was my Indifference that killed him. I was so busy trying to protect him from “This Animal I Have Become.” It happened every day at the Day Job. But that was then, this is now… Sunday, August 24, 2025.

Blessed with children, right? RIGHT! Not just the memory of my Braxton. I’m not only a Dog Dad to Virgil. We talked about this. A son I would name after my ‘firstborn’, my Braxton. Luke and Leia? If we had three daughters, I wanted them to be named after “Girls on Fire,” Katniss, Tris, and Ember. Link? Maybe Zelda. Names.

My name is Will and I was born… No! It still isn’t E-Day yet. I’m still forty, not forty-one yet. But again, it’s not E-Day yet. We’re still talking about Sunday, August 24, 2025, ok?

The day you looked at me and what? I’m guilty, sure enough. Geez, “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus,” they’ll say. As far as being a great writer. I’m always and forever effing trying!

But I’ve been sitting here all day looking at myself, thinking you’re getting your Toni Braxton on “He wasn’t man enough for me.” I mean, I see my body, and today you decided to do this? I wouldn’t have blamed you. But you want children, a big family. Effing same!

Fatherhood is the epitome of Manhood.

But I don’t know who I’m looking at anymore. Every effing horror within this universe.

You’re the woman I want. As much as I want to hate you, “I’m still in love, Sho’nuff in love with you, hey.” I’m not Al Green and I ain’t Barry White either, “Never, never gonna give you up.” Now I sound like some MAGA Cracker Hat, a cuck, or a creep, don’t you think?

Communication, right? You were constantly saying we needed communication. Today… Today, I can’t fix this. I can’t see you as my ride or die one minute and tell myself, “you wake up and suddenly you’re in love.” And just like that, you’re gone. Braxton didn’t.

Seriously, though, for want of children. B’s Not Gone V

1668 Days Without B III, Day 1109 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 053 ~Don’t B Broke V~

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Today is not one to break routine. I read about naughty sorority girls. I got dressed. Sprayed and prayed the backyard. Took Virgil walking. Kept the creepy crawlers off him. Read about MAGA breaking the law. And what can I do? “Don’t B Broke V”

Saturday, August 23, 2025

Journey 053 ~Don’t B Broke V~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And if only Virgil had pants, I could carry more. Problems? Broken house, BUGS, bank account.

But not today, Lady Lu. No bellyaching today. Unless Maisie Williams, aka Arya Stark, k?

“What do we say to the God of Death? ”Not today.”
― Game Of Thrones

And with her, that’s on another level of bellyaching, if you get my meaning. Eww!

Lunalesca, sigh. The WWE’s Cody Rhodes would ask, “What do you want to talk about?”

Being broken? But in a good way? Because when you’re broken, all you can think about is how to fix it. And that’s what led me to a bit of a Revelation today. I read a sample of the book I wrote for Braxton yesterday, “My Turn To B III,” And you know these words:

“If life is a game, love is your instructions.”
― My Turn To B III

Money would fix every problem, but I have Virgil. Love!

“Fear is the heart of love. So I never went back.”
Death Cab for Cutie

“Fear doesn’t shut you down, it wakes you up.”
Divergent

“Believe in yourself, and create your own destiny. Don’t fear failure.”
Broken Promise (Dreams), Toonami

Yesterday was a bad day, Lady Lunalesca. My FEARS, GUILT, and SADNESS. It’s like that brick wall from The Women of Brewster Place. For the record, my lady, we must remember films and things like that. In particular, Black History and what’s right and wrong. Because for damn sure the MAGA, the Cracker Hat effers want to erase a people.

Anyway, I had to crack open the door and go outside. I had to break through whatever there was to go shopping. I feel like vomiting even now, but I break myself open. I eat.

Ain’t got no money and I still bought three new HaremLit books. Backyard Dungeon 20 by Logan Jacobs. Pledged To Him 5 by Neil Bimbeau and Michael Dalton’s Bikini Magic.

And speaking of breaking something open, there’s Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom M Anime. I know, I know, Lady Lunalesca. ‘The critic’ um Artificial Intelligence. It said I offer zero resolution. I show no happiness. And stop talking about Yabbos.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers. You see, Lunalesca, saying all that made me crack a smile.

And now I have to break through today. I have to break through many days until I make it to E-Day. And if I had to make a wish for that. I met Braxton’s Favorite Girl on one E-Day. I wish I could break into M Anime this one. But money. Don’t B Broke V.

1665 Days Without B III, Day 1106 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 049 ~What’s Bugging B, Virgil~

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What bugs me the most these days? B’s still gone. It’s not wearing a hoodie and carrying Virgil a third of the way on our walks. Effing BUGS! Or checking him after. Or even effing MAGA Cracker Hats. It’s the back wall. “What’s Bugging B, Virgil”

Tuesday, August 19, 2025

Journey 049 ~What’s Bugging B, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Do I love you enough to STAY? Honestly, “I’m so high, I can hear Heaven.”

But I am no “Hero” as Chad Kroeger sings. Hell! I’m not even Todd Masterson from “Succubus Lord” laying off the wacky tobacky, weed, and the Devil’s Lettuce. Speaking of which, should I lay off the HaremLit novels? I’m on Backyard Dungeon 19, my love.

I’m nearly finished… It is finished… “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus,” I tell myself as I pretend I’m telling you. As I said, I’m high enough to talk to my firstborn son B III. Gone four long years. And then I talk back to him. And let’s not forget about 2-V sitting here.

I’m sure I’m bugging him, jumping up and down, scanning the shed wall. I’m not going to talk about ‘THEM’ today. I’m already annoyed enough.

And not in an I miss Braxton jumping on my head kind of way. Or a Starship Troopers Sugar Watkins “Just trying to kill some bugs, sir,” sort of mood. And dammit, I wish I could stop touching my face. I feel like I’m in 2011’s “Contagion.” Effing Pop Culture!

When I spend every day breathing in toxins, trying to save our home. It’s no wonder I feel so sick. And it gives me plenty of downtime. Not really. But I don’t want to look at the backyard anymore. My B’s territory. No wonder I turn to our two-legged children.

And speaking of territory, my love, you touch me and whisper, “There’s the man I chose
There’s my territory.” Sweetheart.

“You’re a song written by the hands of God.”
Shakira

And you’re not bugging me in the slightest. No baby doll, it’s those “Three Little Birds,” pitch by my doorstep. Ours? Mine because I can’t blame this failure on you. A man provides, protects, and “Pop’s the P—sy.” Seriously, must I be so vulgar… “Rise up this mornin’. Smiled with the risin’ sun.” I haven’t done that in weeks, maybe months, my “Sweet Love.” I mean, not woken up with tears in my eyes. We were making Sweet Love listening to Anita Baker last night. One more reason I wanted to stay, my beloved.

Honestly, I hate this effing wall I’m looking at. And I don’t want to cry, spray more chemicals, or cringe. I just want to close my eyes and find my Braxton. What’s Bugging B, Virgil?

1661 Days Without B III, Day 1102 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will