Tag: History

Journey 144 ~B A Moment, Virgil~

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I need a moment… For physical or mental? I’ve been sick at the Day Job, and I have even felt worse if I had to leave. But when I had a Panic Attack… No, nothing. I went running from the building. And now the week of Black Friday. “B A Moment, Virgil.”

Saturday, November 22, 2025

Journey 144 ~B A Moment, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Or at least I’m scared like one. But I’m afraid of losing a retail job, Lunalesca.

Decades at the Day Job… Gone in two days that haven’t happened yet. Two words: “Panic Attack.” I was up till midnight, zoned out until 4 AM, and “woke up” around 6:30 AM. And what did I wake up to? More FEAR, I continue to flip through the pages of the wrong book, and my Fido by the name of Virgil is all sorts of confused. I don’t blame V.

You see, Lunalesca, he lives moment to moment, as I talked to Lady Sophia about yesterday. The Long Walk? I remember The Long Walk I had a few years back, from the office to the Amazon station and eventually out the door. How many times must I say this, Lunalesca? I CAN’T DO THIS. EFF!

“I fill my lungs with fear, and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

So yet again I won’t adhere to the 150-word Depression Cap. Hell! I won’t even describe it. I did ask ChatGPT about the symptoms of a Panic Attack. It was the usual: shortness of breath, trembling, and numbness of the feet, to name a few. Yes to all, Lady Luna.

Honestly, so many years ago, I couldn’t last five minutes before I ran away, Lunalesca.

Seriously, for Braxton’s sake, I failed a college course because the professor forgot my name one time. After that, I hid in the library during that period. Come exam day…

Lunalesca, I’ve done worse. Do you recall that meeting with the dean over… whoever? I couldn’t cashier at Wendy’s. I never went back to Arby’s. “And the beat goes on.”

Speaking of music and how I no longer have access to the speaker… Monday will be a cakewalk compared to Wednesday and Friday. I CAN’T DO IT, Lu, I CAN’T!

Lunalesca, even when B III was dying, I had him, his courage, caring, and the hope that I could join… You know AI doesn’t like it when I say things like this. What about 2-V?

The moments where we walk, we munch on food, and we stay on this mattress. I’m blogging away, and Virgil’s sleeping. And we’re supposed to be outside this very moment.

But the moment that is coming on Wednesday morning, I will say no. And Friday.

Lunalesca, who am I? I’m the one having a Panic Attack! B A Moment, Virgil

1756 Days Without B III, Day 1197 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 140 ~Braxton Tried, Virgil Convicted~

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Do or do not, there is no try. Tried being a Dad. B III made it to 15. V hasn’t been 5 for a whole month. Tried being a boyfriend. M Anime left as I couldn’t afford two-legged babies. I would have tried. Tried like me? Braxton Tried, Virgil Convicted

Tuesday, November 18, 2025

Journey 140 ~Braxton Tried, Virgil Convicted~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? That’s it, or that’s it? I’m not a Beatle, though I’ve seen plenty flying around.

Beetles, bucks, and nice boobs, rather Yabbos. It’s hard to reject them, resist them, and remember them all. Braxton knows I tried… Or Lord knows I tried, —my Sweet Lord.

Love, I like the song, but don’t care much for the entity. I tried that, my father, high school, and while Braxton lay dying. And that’s how I feel today. Like I’m dying right here.

That’s not cool to tell you, is it? We could go around each other all day asking if love makes you feel dead or gets you through the day, “awake and alive.” Ah, Mr. Gabriel.

As in Peter Gabriel… As opposed to other “Silly Love Songs.” You’ve had enough, love?

I’m trying to give more. “I wish it from myself.”

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Songbird? The original Fleetwood Mac or Santana to Brittany from Glee? You know that makes me feel a particular kind of way, love. If anything gets me out of “Loser Like Me” ideas, it’s a lady like you and one of your lady friends. Too many harem books, my love?

You’ll be the only mother of my children. And yes, we should try for more. But if I ever get Jacob, Grayson, Eddie, or Ethan’s coin… All the haremlit. And I’m a good Dad. Sigh.

That, of course, goes for my furry boys as well, Braxton and Virgil. How can I be better for them? Virgil deserves better? And Braxton definitely knows I can be better. Real good. The best. Like I’m in “The Warriors.”

And this is where the rubber meets the road, my love. I have to learn to love myself. And that’s not me being negative again. It’s a fact. But I have an honest-to-Braxton question about that, my love. Where do I begin? Not only “Once In A Lifetime,” I ask myself, “Well, how did I get here?” “When Will My Life Begin?” You know, I’m trying… No, ever better beloved.

“I’m starting with the man in the mirror.” Life is a series of tries, my love. But sometimes you can only try once and then… Well, we’re here. I have one wife. Always and forever.

That’s you. I’m telling the man in the mirror, that “I will TRY to FIX YOU.” Braxton Tried, Virgil Convicted.

“We’re allowed to make a lot of mistakes in our lives, except the mistake that destroys us.”
― Paulo Coelho, Veronika Decides to Die (1998)

1752 Days Without B III, Day 1193 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 137 ~Braxton Flies, Virgil Runs~

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I crawled out of bed, I walked Virgil, I ran to feed him, and I was standing in front of my phone while I… Do I still have an OnlyFans for that? Anyway, I have no idea where I’m going. The story of my life. While Braxton Flies, Virgil Runs.

Saturday, November 15, 2025

Journey 137 ~Braxton Flies, Virgil Runs~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… However, I was reminded that Katy Perry and others paid $27 million to take a ride.

Thank you @illyashojaei. If spending three minutes makes Katy an astronaut, then I’m a gynecologist. Not that I’ll be seeing M Anime’s lady parts in the flesh anytime soon.

Honestly, I haven’t thought about “my ex” much. And instead of dreaming about Anime’s yabbos or Mars Bitches, red rocks Yay yayee! Too much YouTube this morning, my Dear Lady Lunalesca. If it helps, I’m not in bed and that’s what I’ve been dreaming about, ha.

Oh, and somebody was talking about having a movie marathon of “Stand by Me,” “The Long Walk,” and “The Running Man.” Stephen King, goddamit! I’m such a potty mouth today.

I hate being late, my dog/son Braxton, “my Day Job,” and getting away from Depression.

“Don’t Take It Personal” Lunalesca.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

“Just One Of Dem Days” And “I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo.” But most importantly…

Lunalesca, I’m stuck. FEAR! Sometimes it’s the most sinful, or the STUPIDEST, and at others it’s the simplistic. I’ve had the whole week off, and you know what I’ve been thinking about at the Day Job? The speaker. If I play DJ again, there’s pressure, and if I don’t, then guess what? It means I effed up and somebody else does. So what happens next?

Humiliations Galore! And it’s like the fifth of November all over again with that girl.

Richards Lives! So does Virgil. And even my Braxton, in a heavenly sort of existence.

Lunalesca, I can’t just be a body. I must continue The Long Walk. Always, forever…

Seriously, I feel like The Running Man. And what’s my crime? What’s my prize?

Lunalesca? Friendship? Virgil and I are still working on that. It’s nothing like B III, okay.

I keep walking, but there is no finish line. Braxton and I got the wrong ending. I would have gladly sat down for him. But then again, Futurama “Jurassic Bark.” I’d say it broke my heart. I didn’t know heartbreak until Braxton’s… Which is why I took M Anime’s betrayal…

And I feel like I’m always running. Only then to ask myself why I’m tired. I gave Braxton his wings, and at least Virgil knows what he’s running from. As for myself, Dear Lady Lunalesca. I’m wanking, walking, and whining. Winning? Braxton Flies, Virgil Runs

1749 Days Without B III, Day 1190 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 133 ~Wars B Through V~

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I wanted to be a fighter pilot. I told my Ma that I wanted to be the Secretary of Defense. I said DEFENSE. I also wanted to be a wartime writer. I did a few weeks in the Navy. You live for the fight when that’s all that you’ve got. Wars B Through V

Tuesday, November 11, 2025

Journey 133 ~Wars B Through V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Like I know about World War I and II. Okay, at least two. American Education…

I know it’s Veterans’ Day, but as for my family… My Olds? Boys? Our Family… “A Small Talent For War?” And that’s what existence feels like, The Twilight Zone. In my heart, I long for peace. “Deep in the cell of my heart, I will feel so glad to go.” Go where you ask me? Anywhere there’s peace, my love. I stopped looking for “Love AND Happiness so long ago. What? Am I saying you don’t make me happy? The children? B III and 2-V?

Beloved, what I’m saying is that things like happiness, love, peace, freedom, etc, are worth fighting AND dying for. And I understand why men choose a blaze of glory. I save what I love, but I FEAR. Forget. I fight.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

“We’re going to win this war not by fighting what we hate, but saving what we love!”
The Last Jedi

“Love Is A Long Road,” “Love Is A Battlefield,” and I wish I could believe like The Beatles that “All You Need Is Love,” and then I see what it takes to fight for it. “Angel With A Shotgun.” I’m lucky that I married you, right? “I will be your sword and shield, your camouflage. And you will be mine.” With our hands full, the kids can carry our happiness.

And who are we fighting? Directly, I would say MAGA, the Cracker Hats. FDT, always.”

But as Haymitch says, remember who the real enemy is—the loss of my mutt. Please, Braxton was a purebred Deer Head Chihuahua. Little Virgil lives with my misery. You?

Yes, you as well. I fight for the moment, love.

Dawn of the Dead’s Frank said, “You want… every… single second.” But there’s no shame in admitting this to you, my love. No negativity. Only the prayer like I’m Tupac.

“Heavenly Father, I’m a soldier, I’m gettin’ hotter
Cause the world’s getting colder, baby let me hold ya.”
‧ Tupac

But then the truth is “I got soul, but I’m not a soldier.” A brief stint in the Navy. Water…

If I knew that I could cry this much, I would have stayed. I could drown either way, my love. Hell! I could cause a wave or make us an island… MAGA, zombies, M Anime…

“Somewhere Only We Know,” to escape. Somewhere there is no FEAR, where I don’t feel like I’m fighting every day, and we can eff like bunnies. It’d give Braxton peace…

Seriously! Virgil fights doors. And me? Wars B Through V.

1745 Days Without B III, Day 1186 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 130 ~Braxton, Virgil, Bad Boys~

WillLeave a comment

I remember my son, B, for living his best life and then the worst day of mine. All the bad things he did. Nothing compares to Sunday, January 31, 2021. How’s V bad? I have to clean his bed, then he’s sleeping in mine. “Braxton, Virgil, Bad Boys”

Saturday, November 8, 2025

Journey 130 ~Braxton, Virgil, Bad Boys~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Not Martin Lawrence or Will Smith. Me. Don’t I wish. And what did I wish for?

Yesterday, the words were, “I wish I had never been born.” That statement still stands.

And speaking of standing, I don’t want to do much more of that either. You don’t get paid to stand around. Is that what I was doing at my Day Job? I didn’t get any hours next week. I had to double-check to ensure that someone else was not doing just as badly. Ok, how MAGA of me. I sound like a damn Cracker Hat. Someone has to lose Lunalesca.

Today it feels like me. And what about my boys? Braxton’s gone. Virgil’s sleeping, Lu.

And that’s bad. I wish I could tell you that I’m worse. 150-Word Depression, Lunalesca.

I have to make up for yesterday. With that said…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Feeling bad means that at some point, you were “Feeling Good” in a Nina Simone, George Michael sort of way. I’m sitting here trying to remember the last good day.

Lunalesca, I lack the day but the feeling. I was at the food truck yesterday, and when the lady saw me, she smiled and immediately asked, “You want the fried shrimp? It beats being called Ma’am at any and all drive-thrus. That’s not me being negative, it’s the truth and nothing more. With nothing but some wings and shrimp in the fridge, I’ll head out.

A burger, maybe, or how about some tacos? I haven’t spent my grocery money, Lunalesca. Groceries, see, I can say it better than the Orange Turd owning the White House.

My boys are better men than him and all of MAGA. And Virgil has more sense than I give him credit for… Messing up his bed so he can come in here and sleep next to me. I mean, that is a plan. And I could use one of those, or “I could really use a wish right now,” Lunalesca. And there was a time I wanted to fly “Airplanes.” But being a bad boy.

I write of dirty, depraved, and disgusting worlds… And I’m pretty proud of it, Lunalesca.

Better to get the bad out of me than to let it fester into… Well, things the Cracker Hats do. I raised two bad boys into good men, well, doggos: me, Braxton, Virgil, Bad Boys.

1742 Days Without B III, Day 1183 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 126 ~B Over Soon, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I’ll get over you, I know I will. I’ve gotten past two months without my Ex. Yet I’m still standing over B’s ashes, stepping over his doggie gate, and stomping over the man I should be for him. Plus, what happened at the Day Job. B Over Soon, Virgil.

Tuesday, November 4, 2025

Journey 126 ~B Over Soon, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Yet as The Yayhoos sing, “Baby, I love you, just leave me the eff alone.”

I want it all to be over. The humiliations, horror, and happiness. A.K.A marriage, love?

No and never. “Goodness knows; you’re my honeysuckle rose.” I know music, my “Sweet Love.” I remember my words, always and forever. My body, back, and my brain, though… I swear, today was a long walk, “The Long Walk,” and I wanted to sit down.

I keep saying “Love Is A Long Road.” Love is also a verb. And I can only imagine how hard it’s been on you. In you? Hell, we have our kids to prove that while I continue to mourn my son, Braxton. And nearly pushed Virgil off the edge of the bed—too little fur.

And now I must get over this… 150-Word Depression Cap.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Over does not necessarily mean “The End”. “Death Is Not the End.” My Braxton lives.

“He Lives In You,” Like something out of The Lion King. But more to the tune of “Hungry Like The Wolf.” More and more hits, and we’ll get to what happened on the 3rd, love.

Because “Nothing is over! Nothing!” As John Rambo cried. My Braxton was a much braver man—a much braver dog. And I want to inspire Braxton’s brother Virgil in much the same way. But while I pushed him to the edge of the bed, he didn’t go over, my love.

He survived. I survived. “I’m still breathing! I’m Alive” as Sia belts out. Better her than the Foo Fighters and whatever that song was, Monday.

I was able to survive the humiliation of it. One more thing I need to add to the list of why I own my own business. “The Moondust.” One more piece of my new empire. Another jewel to the crown. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. I still can’t get over it ha!

Funny, I need to get over it. Like getting over what happened on Sunday, August 24, 2025, my love? Truth? You don’t get over things like that. Not E-Day, not Sunday, January 31, 2025. Saturday, August 13, 2022, Monday, November 3, 2025. You dig deeper.

Honestly, to get over the bombs, you have to wait until they stop falling like “Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head.” B Over Soon, Virgil

1738 Days Without B III, Day 1179 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 123 ~Braxton’s Nine Lives, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

V is my son. I chose him. And I wouldn’t give him up for anything. Paperwork, cash, I lifted him out of his cage… But B is still here. At the same time, I want him back. Is reincarnation real? Science should speed up. AI? Braxton’s Nine Lives, Virgil

Saturday, November 1, 2025

Journey 123 ~Braxton’s Nine Lives, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Don’t I wish. Right now, I would settle for a Big Mac Meal. That’d be dumb.

But I am me. What? I’ll be all positive after my 150-Word Depression, alright, Lunalesca?

Now speaking of knowing me. What are three things I care about in this existence?

Braxton, well, both my boys actually, Braxton and Virgil, some chick’s boobs/yabbos, and bucks. Or should I say my wee ones, again B III and 2-V, women’s yabbos, and wealth. And what about everything else, the world? The world is yours, I saw on Scarface.

But how do I see the world? I woke up this morning… And what, got yourself a gun? For B, when he was here, to protect us. But he’s been gone four long years, and that’s what I’ve been thinking about, always and forever. And how to bring him back…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

First, I figured if I had enough money… I still have B’s bed, ashes, and a bag of his fur. And “I’m still alive. Must have been a miracle.” How’s that for me being positive? But Braxton wasn’t frozen or cloned. If anything, “The future is coming on.” “My future.”

Then I was reading a lot about resurrection and reincarnation. And that’s how I found Braxton’s little brother Virgil. Smart enough to use a training pad, hanging out again with chicks that had large yabbos. But “The truth is in the eyes ‘Cause the eyes don’t lie, amen,” Lady Lu. Not just within, but the two bits of tan/beige fur on both sides, Braxton’s shade.

I want to look at myself through those eyes forever.

With perfect love and perfect trust? Magic? And isn’t the Day of the Dead tomorrow?

Now it could be that between quoting “The Craft,” rereading, or listening to the Succubus Lord series for the umpteenth time. I’m reading Backyard Dungeon 22. And I’ve been thinking about the other Succubus series by A.J. Markam. Anyway, if I could practice magic, I’d want to study Necromancy or Portal Making. Finding little Braxton?

Halloween was yesterday, but while I was augmenting reality. And boning up on the AI craze. I started thinking I could bring back my Braxton digitally. To have both of my boys on screen at the same time, Lunalesca. It’d be less trouble. This picture: Journey 116 ~B+ Old Man Virgil~ Braxton’s Nine Lives, Virgil

1735 Days Without B III, Day 1176 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 119 ~Virgil Will B Patient~

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I’m waiting for the day they don’t call me Ma’am at the drive-thru. I wait for the food truck to get my order right. I wait for the day I’m respected at the Day Job. I wait for when I don’t miss my son so much. I wait for love. Virgil Will B Patient

Tuesday, October 28, 2025

Journey 119 ~Virgil Will B Patient~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I didn’t have to wish for that. It took me fifteen years to learn. And…

His name was Braxton. And he would be… well, he’ll always and forever be Braxton.

I sit here with you late on a Tuesday evening—you and Virgil. And I’ve had two thoughts, and you’re not going to like either of them. You’re patient, waiting for me to be better.

Anyway, the first was that I wish B III were here to talk to, as I’m getting my “Creed” on:

“I feel angry, I feel helpless
Want to change the world, yeah
I feel violent, I feel alone
Don’t try and change my mind, no.”

The second is when I woke, I had been dreaming about 1992’s Aladdin… Well, Jasmine. The three wishes, anyway. And I thought if I had them, I’d want my son back, my B III. I wish that you would Love Me Now. Who am I, John Legend? And I wish I were dea*… asleep. Permanently.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Patience, positive vibes, and points. My point is that the Genie couldn’t bring anyone back from the dead. He couldn’t make someone fall in love. And he couldn’t bring harm.

And yet I am a patient man. I am a forgiving one. So, I’ve been thinking about what Rick Grimes said before the all-out war with Negan and the Saviors. Wise and brave, my love:

“I don’t want to wait for it anymore. You don’t either… Yeah, I know. So we don’t have to wait for it. If we start tomorrow right now… with everything we’ve beaten, everything we’ve endured, everything we’ve risen above, everything we’ve become… If we start tomorrow right now… no matter what comes next… we’ve won. We’ve already won.”
Rick Grimes

And isn’t that something like what Pete McVries said to Ray Garraty? To come all this way and “choose love.” For the record, I’m still upset with the movie. That’s not being negative, it’s only a fact, my love. I wait for things, and in the end, I want to love them, but what happens next? “Last Of My Kind.”

And “You Don’t Know Me,” love. But we have a lifetime to learn, don’t we? And I “pray” our two-legged children are fast learners like my four-legged ones. Braxton. Virgil?

Honestly, how my little Virgil tries. And you? I remember everything, including Sunday, August 24, 2025. Who was it that said patience is a virtue? One day I’ll wake up forgiving myself for Sunday, January 31, 2021, E-Day, and that Sunday with you. Being patient.

These days, it gets harder, but resistance is acceptable; I can wait. I was watching something about the Borg and the Federation while I was waiting at the food truck.

However, “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever.” “Who Wants To Live Forever?” Love Is A Long Road. Virgil Will B Patient

1731 Days Without B III, Day 1172 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 116 ~B+ Old Man Virgil~

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The School of Hard Knocks sucks. Don’t even get me started on regular schooling. Though I did read Animal Farm and 1984. And the Cracker Hats are following “It Can’t Happen Here” or Project 2025. Anyway, how would I grade myself? “B+ Old Man Virgil.”

Saturday, October 25, 2025

Journey 116 ~B+ Old Man Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I can be as sinful, as STUPID, and as skeevy as I want. Right?

And good morning to you, too, Lady Lunalesca. All that’s missing from my day is a plaid robe, some slippers, and a cane. That reminds me, I need to pick up some new jeans, Lu.

This week and the next will be particularly brutal. I mean, “The Long Walk” cruel.

Lunalesca, beside the sad tune of “Teen Idle”, “Oh God, I’m gonna die alone! There have been the words of Greg Plitt and his thoughts on FEAR. You know why I hate FEAR. It keeps me young. My son Braxton’s death makes me feel old. And then there’s Virgil, Lu.

I was looking at whiskers yesterday. Five years old… What has Virgil done with existence?

How dare I ask? How would I grade myself existing?

You’ll never know. And not only for that 150-word Depression cap I’m keeping my lady.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

A is for being awake and alive. For being WOKE and not some GD MAGA Cracker Hat, my dear. If this really is The Long Walk, instead of “Eff the Major,” FDT, MAGA, and “The Long Walk.” Just instead of me being #47, Ray Garraty, I’m only 41 (Ben-Hur drums)

Braxton was/is will always be #15. Virgil is #5. But V’s better than Barkovitch, Lunalesca.

B is for books. Again, I’m grateful for Kindle giving my reading streak back, Lunalesca. This morning, I began Backyard Dungeon 22. It’s the last of the series… Lady Lunalesca

But what about boobies, yabbos, and he we go. I’ve been thinking of M Anime’s

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos

“C” Lady Lunalesca, I can’t see her anymore… (Begins waving my hand like John Cena)

God “Bless The Broken Road.” I take my breakup—the failure of my relationship with M Anime—as a lesson learned. And the fact that I didn’t turn the broken road into a thing, Lu.

D is for the darkness that I wanted to unleash. Again, that Depression cap Lunalesca.

Desire comes in so many different forms, and today, I begin fighting another once again. Augmenting reality sounds much cooler than what I’ve been doing. An eff of a time.

Effing or just F is not for failure or forgetfulness. I’m not a father of two-legged rugrats. Eff it, I think I like this “Little Life” “B+ Old Man Virgil.”

1728 Days Without B III, Day 1169 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 112 ~B And V Bench~

WillLeave a comment

It’s love to pick one foot up and put it down, then again. Braxton and I did it for fifteen years. Virgil has been doing it for five now. “Love Is A Long Road.” Life is “The Long Walk.” So am I winning alone (with V). I’m no gym bro. “B And V Bench.”


Tuesday, October 21, 2025

Journey 112 ~B And V Bench~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? More than “my” music? How “Your Love Keeps Lifting Me Higher And Higher.” Like Braxton’s?

No, I’m not Jackie Wilson. And should you take this as the “Diary of a Tired Black Man.” No, I’m not that famous. But I am tired, black, and a man. Yours, always and forever.

Scratch the tired part. But today I am. Why? I just lifted my second-born son Virgil to his fifth birthday. Hell! I raised B III straight to Heaven. Don’t put your blame on me, “Human.”

I imagine that’s what Braxton would say. I didn’t “end” him. “You and me,” Darling…

“Love lift us up where we belong,” please. As I’ve been down since… You remember?

Sunday, August 24, 2025. And I’ve gone from shuffling my feet to telling myself to lift up my feet, I deserve better than this. Love?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

I’m proud of my body. I haven’t eaten anything but a shared McDonald’s birthday lunch with 2-V, some candies, and peanuts. That’s not negativity, but the facts. “I’m Still Here.”

“I’m Still Standing!” “I’m still strong!” Whether it’s Elton John, Antwone Fisher, or any number of pop culture references. It’s love. I want to think of you like that, Darling.

Honestly, call it “A Sunday Kind of Love.” The kind I felt when Braxton would sit on my head, and I loved him/ love him enough to take him outside. When I would rise to see you love, in more ways than one. Our two-legged kids would still be sleeping. B and V would be pawing at the door. But we would lie here, love.

Right here, before I’d type out to the millions and millions, my dreams of us. The two of us, listening to ’50s/’60s apocalyptic pop. Atom Bomb Baby, Thirteen Women (And Only One Man In Town), Sputnik (Satellite Girl), Watch World War Three (on Pay TV).

Honestly, though, I didn’t care about the “Civil War” 2024 or whatever MAGA has going on, whether it’s a movie or reality. “I got Heaven right here on Earth.” Your husband. A man of leisure. And again I am telling myself to pick ’em up and put ’em down. And that is a husband’s, a father’s, and a man’s responsibility. I keep saying it. A man provides hmm—the truth.

“The Long Walk” and all. Love’s my exercise. Be my partner. B And V Bench.

1724 Days Without B III, Day 1165 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will