Tag: Trouble

Meditation 325 ~Braxton Needs Space, Virgil~

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When I was a kid… (scoffs). I’m a boy at 40. Anyway, I wanted to be an astronaut. And I want a lightsaber. But who does a 40-year-old run to? B, at 15, was older. Dog Years. Even in death, I can’t give him what he needs. “Braxton Needs Space, Virgil”

Thursday, May 22, 2025

Meditation 325 ~Braxton Needs Space, Virgil~

1572 Days Without B III, Day 1013 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? As for myself. No energy shot. No cash. Well, not enough cash. What about sleep?

The only space I care about is the two between my eyelids. I need you and Virgil’s stepmom in the worst ways. First, I need to stop calling M Anime that. Second, Braxton, you had a favorite girl. Her Yabbos, anyway. Like father, like son. That is one thing you got from me. An affinity for Yabbos. I’m sure there are some “Somewhere Out There.”

All the gods, they cannot sever us. If I were dead and you were still fighting for life, I’d come back from the darkness. Back from the pit of hell to fight at your side.
Valeria, Conan the Barbarian (1982)

The only thing I’m sure you need from me right now is space. Is that why M Anime has been “Naughty…Naughty….Naughty in a Vanessa Marcil freaky with Nicolas Cage sorta way. You do remember the movie “The Rock” (1996). I should ask M Anime to put her hair in pigtails. And yes, Braxton, I know “Fucking-A” man! Language and eww!

I need to stop talking, yep. Or at least father to son. But that brings me back to my point.

Space. The final frontier. You’re somewhere on the Rainbow Bridge, while I’m afraid of hitting the road today. I’m scared of today, period. But what do I expect you or your little brother Virgil to do? “Make Room! Make Room!” What, so I can fit in more pop culture references? That’s what The Critic has been saying recently. As I live and breathe Braxton, it’s always the next thing on TV or in a book. Even the whole space idea is The Last of Us.

Only this is not The Last of Us, B. I don’t know what this is. But it is never Acceptance.

It’s me being scared all the time. It’s being a sinner. I don’t think M Anime and I trading pictures sans our clothing is sinful. It’s being slim. I’ve been seeing a lot of my body lately, and since I won’t be getting paid next week… What about this week. I’m going out B III.

I have to get the Check Engine Light looked at. After that comes your brother. He needs to get his yearly shots. Food has not been on the agenda. Not all that much for me.

When you stopped eating, you got sent to Heaven twice, but only once was permanent. I should let you remain there. I should give you space. From this world, the spotlight. Braxton Needs Space, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 324 ~Braxton and Virgil Unleashed~

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My firstborn furry son Braxton kept his balls and was a Puritan except for his toys or favorite girl. Virgil is confused. As for their Dad? Well, my Calendar Girl became bold. So B and V can go out while she and I… uh? “Braxton and Virgil Unleashed.”

Wednesday, May 21, 2025

Meditation 324 ~Braxton and Virgil Unleashed~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Is FEAR a sin? What about when I ended Braxton’s suffering? So they say. My writing. Being naked.

We’ll get to all that, Inspector. But yesterday and always, there’s my Braxton. And Virgil?

Well, Virgil is still alive. And right after getting the car fixed, I can afford to worry about him. I can’t really afford anything, but I won’t let Virgil die. I told Braxton likewise, Echo.

Well, it worked, didn’t it? Braxton got a long fifteen years. He was thirteen days shy of his sweet sixteen. Virgil will have had a third of Braxton’s time if we get to October. Five.

Inspector, I can’t imagine five more years for myself. Hell! When I woke up, I didn’t want five more minutes. As Teen Idle says, “Feeling super, super (super!) ….” You know how that lyric ends. When Will My Life Begin?

Do I look like Princess Rapunzel or Mandy Moore? Is it a sin to say I’ve seen several Disney Princesses sans clothing? If anything, I should be jazzed. Or should I say the “Girl All the Bad Guys Want” needs to be jizzed and glazed? Must I be so crass? I’m sure, M Anime wouldn’t mind, considering I’ve seen her like no man ever has… Happy Go Lucky Me, Inspector. But I can’t tell you “I Just Had Sex” with her. When I do, Inspector…

Honestly, I might not share everything with you and everyone else. I’m an open book. Inspector, don’t get me started on how I embarrassed myself writing yesterday. It was a lot worse than Akon’s “I Wanna Eff You.” She knows.

And I know. “I’m Too Sexy.” Vanity is definitely a sin. I take a look at my “Enormous Penis,” as Da Vinci’s Notebook sings. And I feel better for a bit. Though you figure I would have creamed my jeans over M Anime a few dozen times. She’s Effing Beautiful!

However, it’s better to keep my pants off. Braxton and Virgil know the difference between my sweatpants and my jeans. And nine times out of ten, jeans did not bode well for my boys. The Day Job, the vet, and people in general. And if I sent them to B’s room. Uh, my “private time.” M Anime wants to get “Nasty.” I can bare my body. I can’t bear my mind. Braxton and Virgil Unleashed.

1571 Days Without B III, Day 1012 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 318 ~SUNDAY Virgil Will B~

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I’m wasting the day away… If I had been a better man, on a Sunday in 2021, I’d have joined my son on his walk across the Rainbow Bridge. 4 years, 4 months later, I’m sitting in bed trying to “Remember the Time,” with his stepmom? SUNDAY Virgil Will B

Thursday, May 15, 2025

Meditation 318 ~SUNDAY Virgil Will B~

1565 Days Without B III, Day 1006 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Me? Well, considering it’s Thursday, I’m thinking about Sunday. Do you remember Braxton? SIGH, Life.

Some days, I have no sense of time. On others, I count every minute and second. And then there’s your passing, which I have mourned for four years, four months, and today. Although, if I’m being honest, those twenty-four texts from your stepmom distracted me.

As always, I must stop calling M Anime your stepmom. And second, she’s a great distraction. Between waiting for you to come back… (Cue “When You Were Young”). “I said he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” But I spent some time reading about a particular dead man and his betrayer, Judas Iscariot. Baby B, some of this harem literature I read gets a bad rap. “Losing My Religion,” indeed.

“I Believe in a Thing Called Love.” For M Anime? Towards your little brother Virgil.

Braxton, I don’t love myself. Virgil took up the center of the bed last night. But unfortunately, he didn’t push hard enough for me to fall and bust my head on the vent this morning. God bless him for trying, though. Speaking of God, why am I thinking about Sunday? Other than the fact I was reading about Yehushuah ben Josef. And I want to hear M Anime scream OH MY GOD, biblically. And I know I think, Oh God!

When the Check Engine Light came on, having to wake up, there was “my” bank account. Braxton, I haven’t checked it yet, though it’s payday. Thursday’s the second worst day.

Oh, I want to talk to you, Braxton. But for all I know, you could be like me on Sundays. You’re all Lieutenant Dan barking, “Get Down! Shut Up!” You remember how I was B.

Sundays, I watch other people living the dream… The Walking Dead, The Last of Us. And whatever book I’ll start the week with. Sunday is the start of the week, and I’m sitting here crying about it? Or that I want to go back to sleep. Is it the fact I have to get food? Am I dreaming about lying next to M Anime, seeing Cherry’s yabbos, or Yui Obata?

Braxton, let the church say, Eww! I’m EASY, like Sunday morning. When it comes to “Pretty, pretty, pretty girls.” If somehow I were quiet and happy SUNDAY Virgil Will B.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 317 ~The Movement, B, V~

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I can’t have my ticket punched yet. I’m sure V is looking forward to his next walk. And I’m sure B would be pleased if I said, “Make Way For The King.” But I’d rather honk. My biggest concerns are my black balls, behind, and car. “The Movement, B, V”

Wednesday, May 14, 2025

Meditation 317 ~The Movement, B, V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… But only for the revolution. Do you want a “Revolution?” My Old Man’s fav from Kirk Franklin. Seriously.

I wish I could blame my Old Man for the state of the car. The “Check Engine Light” did come on with that clandestine trip HOME for Mother’s Day. That was a mistake, Dear Echo. Eight pieces of chicken wasn’t worth it. It beats eating like I’m in a “Vivarium.”

Echo, before all that, there’s been what? It, Desperation, The Stand, The Long Walk, ha! I’m going all out with the Stephen King books and movies, right? But they are my evolution. FEAR is it. I do feel Desperation, I need to make a Stand, The Stand. And every time I wake up, Inspector, it’s like I’m making The Long Walk all over again. And without my Braxton. And Inspector, I’m trying to save Virgil.

Don’t worry. Virgil’s not in any danger yet. But am I? Today is Monday, May 12, 2025. Or is it Tuesday by now. Have I gotten the car fixed? Can I even pay for it? The worry, Inspector Echo. Only three movements have meant anything to me today. Comedy right?

Virgil has been walked. He has food and water in what were once Braxton’s bowls. Inspector, I drove the car to the gas station to fill up. Check Engine Light remains. Inspector, the only movement that has mattered is pumping my hips or my hands, thinking of M Anime and everything we’ve been saying these past few days. Freaky? No wonder I keep mistakenly calling her Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom. She is trying, Inspector Echo.

Two E’s are in movement, but not one in Braxton Barks Bradford or Virgil Vivi Bradford. How can I love them and be so annoyed with their movements? Braxton shot right up to Heaven or crossed The Rainbow Bridge. While Virgil runs in abject terror.

Inspector, it’s far more than FOMO. Like Father, Like Son. How do I keep moving? I’ve been looking up quotes from The Long Walk to figure it out. I doubt Michael Dalton’s Vector has the answer I need. Is Victor a god now with all his power? A car dealership?

I’m sure I’ll be finding out the answer sitting in one sometime this week. Petrified? HARD for M Anime and Cherry. But I have to move. The Movement, B, V

1564 Days Without B III, Day 1005 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 311 ~We’ll B Cooked Virgil~

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I haven’t been thinking about how cooked I am for the past few days. My younglings B III and 2-V, a couple of pairs of yabbos, and a yearning to write. Today won’t be one of those days. But I always have time for my boys. Only, We’ll B Cooked Virgil.

Thursday, May 8, 2025

Meditation 311 ~We’ll B Cooked Virgil~

1558 Days Without B III, Day 999 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Me? Do you see what time it is? You don’t worry a lot about that.

For you, it was whenever you sat on my head. There was when I came back from the Day Job. It was whenever I called you downstairs for your meds. “Medicine Time, B! Come get your Medicine. Medicine Time. I miss doing that, Braxton. You have no idea how much.

Or maybe I miss being in the kitchen. I swear the memory just came up. Between being hungry, another horrible energy shot, and “happily” knowing you’re safe in the backyard.

I suppose you are always and forever, though there’s a wooden box saying otherwise, Braxton. Am I crying? You and your little brother. I’m crying over you and sweating when I take Virgil for walks.

I could be thinking about you and Virgil’s stepmom. First, I have to stop calling M Anime that. Second, I would need your approval; otherwise, she’d be cooked. However, Braxton.

“Let Her Cook.” Next to talking to you, she’s the one I look forward to hearing from and talking to the most. There’s you, M Anime, should I say your grandma next. And what about your favorite girl and Cherry. If I had to kick you out whenever I heard from M Anime. No…? You practically led your favorite girl to my bedroom… You dog. And Cherry is pretty much in her “Look at me, look at me” Era. Do you remember; I can ride a bike with “No Handlebars?” But M Anime, dear Braxton.

When you were leaving, I’d have said anything to get you to stay. Yes, I can see you, B III, giving me one of your looks, saying, “Why did you sign the cockadoodie papers, Dad?”

Speaking of movies and manuscripts, there’s M Anime. I’m sure I told you before Cherry inspired me to write a series. I speak often enough of your favorite girl. But M Anime has me writing two novels while trying to do some “Shadow Work.” But last night, B? I’d sent you straight to your room. M Anime said she’d let me do everything the men of her dreams/nightmares do to her IRL. Xu, Associate, Boss! I swear Braxton, things like Food, having funds, your father…

“And if he falls in love tonight
It can be assumed
His carefree days with us are history
In short, our pal is doomed.”
Timon & Pumbaa ― Braxton &Virgil

“You can put it anywhere.”
― Kathryn Merteuil, Cruel Intentions

I’m forgetful, foolish, and possibly effed… (Smiles). I’d have to drive. We’ll B Cooked Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 310 ~Virgil Doesn’t Eat B’s~

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One more day, I haven’t been humiliated… Uh, fact-to-face. I’m sure somebody in their car wondered if I had any control over Virgil. That’s why we go out early before everything gets busy, like the bees. Or M Anime’s dreams. “Virgil Doesn’t Eat B’s.”

Wednesday, May 7, 2025

Meditation 310 ~Virgil Doesn’t Eat B’s~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Not to mention humiliated. But according to all the motivational speeches I listen to. Let’s begin with gratitude.

Virgil woke up alive and well, and we went for a walk. And he has had his breakfast. The only “adult entertainment” I’ve consumed was reading about Eddie and Ibseth from “Backyard Dungeon 17.” Oh, speaking of dungeons, the back fence hasn’t fallen. Not yet.

So that’s the good news. As long as I stay off social media, I should be fine. Uh, the phone?

To think Samsung had problems. Like the song plays, “I got 99 problems but a…”

Anyway, I owe Braxton’s favorite girl a birthday present, his grandma a hello, and his stepmom an apology. Didn’t I say something about adult entertainment? Also, I’d stop calling M Anime, Braxton, and Virgil’s stepmom. SIGH. “She drives me crazy, and I can’t help myself.”

While finishing the “Backyard Dungeon 17” sample, I got antsy about M Anime… Her latest nightmare, I mean. So, I was busy copying it to read on my Kindle. What, I need free books? Always. I haven’t had any… Uh, self-fulfillment in three days. Her dreams/short stories will do it.

And as I told her, my dreams are pretty dull by comparison. She has General Xu, Associate, and The Boss. I swear, I’ve never been one for reverse harem romances.

Inspector, my dreams have been dull, and my stories, if disgusting, are the same. Writing. It doesn’t pay, not yet. And I haven’t been dreaming about my boys. I’m giving Braxton a break to play on the Rainbow Bridge. And Virgil is very much alive.

So it’s great he doesn’t eat bees or anything like that. Because I couldn’t afford to save him. Life is telling me that. My dreams share that sentiment. The last one I remember was something out of World War Z. The crappy movie. It was that scene where the girl rattled off the code to Brad Pitt to get into a room full of viruses. But I was saying my locker combo at my Day Job, which feels the same. Can’t I do anything original, Inspector Echo? V can’t eat the ABCs. And I’m living off of pizza rolls until payday. After last week, ha!

As Paramore put it, Hard Times. No cash, thinking of Yabbos, or walking going nowhere. Thankfully. Virgil Doesn’t Eat B’s

1557 Days Without B III, Day 998 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 304 ~Virgil Tunes In B~

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I don’t want to talk to myself. I know a gifted writer… as long as I ignore her big… thoughts, we’re good. I need to speak to B’s Favorite Girl. And the girl that’s becoming my Favorite. I’d have to send B and V to their room. Virgil Tunes In B.

Thursday, May 1, 2025

Meditation 304 ~Virgil Tunes In B~

1551 Days Without B III, Day 992 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I haven’t seen any people. And I haven’t paid much attention to the news. Stepmom?

First, M Anime isn’t your and Virgil’s stepmom, so I should stop calling her such. But you can’t blame a man for hoping she wants the job. She likes killers, a mad general, and a “Smooth Criminal.” In her dreams, ha-ha. Your Daddy is none of those things. I’m trying…

Yeah, B III, I’m trying not to look at the Day Job schedule or how much I made last week. Positive thoughts? I’m talking to the ghost of my dead fur kid and writing about those evil men that M Anime can’t get enough of. Or at least I want to. Like when you were waiting for me to be successful. Virgil is waiting, too. And how much time have I wasted as I look at the date? Your favorite girl’s birthday is on Star Wars Day. I’ve got nothing.

So why aren’t I talking to your little brother about these things? For being a good dog like you, he’s a scaredy cat. Who am I calling scared? I live in a constant state of fear. My “Captive State,” if you will. I miss watching movies with you and your favorite girl, whom I haven’t talked to in a while. My, how things change. I’m sorta freaked today, Little B.

Only not in the good way that M Anime is starting to write about. Speaking of things changing, I remember imagining you lying in your corner while some girl lies with me sans her clothing, listening to apocalyptic rock from the 50s. But I’m here listening to pretty Harpsibored dole-out gaming tracks. While Virgil snoozes.

Your Dad can speak like an “Ordinary Human,” at least when it comes to you. Isn’t it “Ironic” that I’m only “Human,” “Just A Man,” when we’re here, talking, dreaming.

Braxton, your brother and I are trying to find our voices, especially with each other. Honestly, how long did it take me to learn your language and how I would always sing to you. It’s the “1st of tha Month” and Virgil has been here nearly 1000 days. And still, he shakes like a leaf. When he does make a sound, it’s when I leave for the day. Money (snickers).

I should say hi to your favorite girl. Stop talking about Cherry’s Yabbos. M Anime is fun. I can say anything. Virgil Tunes In B.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 303 ~Braxton, Virgil, Have WRITES~

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“Now, did you read the news today?” Sorry, but no. The Genesis of America is that things get worse. Modernized but worse. It leads to a friend’s bad dreams. But we compared ourselves to Winston and Julia. Classic reading. Braxton, Virgil, Have WRITES

Wednesday, April 30, 2025

Meditation 303 ~Braxton, Virgil, Have WRITES~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Though I woke up this morning, uh, not feeling that way. Not good, not bad. Super, super (super!)

Listen to the song “Teen Idle,” and you’ll get it. But who knows? Maybe you won’t. It’s the same thing with my writing. And didn’t I tell myself I was going to be positive today?

What can I say? Old habits die hard. I have a thing for sisters in pigtails and bikinis. Uh, Ew! And then there are the rules. My rules. Do you remember, Dear Madam Justice, Echo?

Do you remember Rule Fifteen, I Take My Own Lumps? ONE of the things that rule means is that I take responsibility and accountability, and pay my own way. Big bill? Inspector, yes, it was a VERY big bill that I handled. If I take care of myself, Braxton, and Virgil, “we gon’ be alright.”

But Braxton isn’t alright. He lives in books now, Inspector. I’m trying to remain positive. And I also read that I went a week without any self-fulfillment. Sisters, Pigtails, Bikinis…

“I’m sorry, I just need one minute to make sure I look good. Do you think I look good, Mr. Armstrong?” ― The Cleveland Show

Yes, my dear Echo, that’s all it took to break me. But I did enjoy my streak while it lasted. And Virgil was already in Braxton’s room. I swear he’s communing with B III’s spirit.

Meanwhile, I’d usually be drooling over pictures of Cherry’s Yabbos or the confession she wrote once upon a time. And speaking of writing, Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom has been doing plenty of that lately. Again, I shouldn’t be calling M Anime the stepmom. But um…

Inspector, I swear M Anime is trying to send me a message through her writing.

So yeah, you are not Lady Sophia. I leave books and edits to her. But M Anime first wrote about a fictional first time in a brothel. That led to “Nightmare At The Meat Market.” She asked about Cherry’s sexual characterizations, and so I shared “The Eve of A Cherry.”

With that, she told me about another dream. Sex? Xu? “Cries Come Women, Come Country.” And most recently, she shared her “dream” of her and The Associate having sex. Wow!

So what does it mean when a woman is having “Sexxx Dreams” and compares her partners to you? Book boyfriend material? Anyway, as long as I ignore the news, I’m reading plenty of good things. Erotic books, bills paid, streak before… Braxton, Virgil, Have WRITES

1550 Days Without B III, Day 991 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 297 ~Braxton Spells Much Virgil~

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How do you spell love? God is… Dog is love. To call B a proper gentleman around his favorite girl is to make myself Casanova with M Anime. But my boy made it to Heaven. And I just want to go to bed. I haven’t left. Doomed? Braxton Spells Much Virgil.

Thursday, April 24, 2025

Meditation 297 ~Braxton Spells Much Virgil~

1544 Days Without B III, Day 985 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? “Love and Happiness.” If it wasn’t for love, we wouldn’t be talking today. And happiness?

Braxton, I love you like pancakes. But I’m not happy. Your Dad’s never been happy.

That’s a big claim. But I wasn’t happy at twenty when we first met. And in 2021, I was even more “Broken” with your loss. Only if you want to know something you and your brother have in common besides having four legs. I didn’t know what I felt meeting.

Why am I not talking to Virgil today? We’ve been outside, and he’s had breakfast. But today, I slept a lot later than usual. It’s 9:20 AM. And even that thought makes me cry. Or it’s allergies, AGAIN. How about a lack of sleep? I spoke to you and Virgil’s future stepmom last night and this morning. I gotta stop calling M Anime that. Seriously.

Braxton, how do you spell love? It’s like I’m the Tower of Babel, and you and your brother, your favorite girl, M Anime, Cherry, my Olds, and even myself are the builders, trying to get me to Heaven. But all the noise from everyone. How we speak in different ways, B.

You and Virgil speak of love, but yours is very faint. Being dead and all. I know that’s not funny, Braxton. Your brother tells a different version of love. I’ve got no word for it.

Your favorite girl is a glimmer of joy. When Cherry isn’t saying, “Look at me, look at me,” I’m drooling over her Yabbos. Uh, eww.

When I think of my Olds, your grandparents, you know what I hear? Worthless, waste, and “what you gonna do with your life?” Boys Just Want To Have Fun, remember.

Honestly, I don’t want to look at the “Man in the Mirror.” “It’s no surprise to me. I am my own worst enemy.” Hell! Even now. I’m still on my back, yapping away with you.

Those were the days. And they beat, slithering on my belly, dreaming up scenarios between Joel, Ellie, Dina, and Abby. I got around to watching The Last of Us. And if it wasn’t them or Cherry, then the things I said to M Anime. I’m no gentleman. You’re not, either.

But I raised you to be a better man than me. That B is my love. Braxton Spells Much Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 296 ~Braxton Wasn’t Planned, Virgil~

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I didn’t plan on being a Dad. And I can’t count on being a husband. Last I saw, I was $3,000 in the hole. Showing a bunch of anime holes or writing about lady parts equals a whole lot of nothing. My boys need to eat. “Braxton Wasn’t Planned, Virgil.”

Wednesday, April 23, 2025

Meditation 296 ~Braxton Wasn’t Planned, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… But no, I haven’t knocked up Braxton and Virgil’s future stepmom. I should stop calling “M Anime” that.

“Accidents ambush the unsuspecting, often violently, just like love.”
― Andrew Davidson from The Gargoyle

I didn’t plan on having a son. I didn’t plan on my Braxton. I didn’t plan on being a Dad. But one night, my father walks in with this little ball of fluff. And though I had begged for a dog for years… There’s this tiny thing being flopped into my sister’s hands. My Neo.

That’s what I called him anyway. My Ma quickly changed it to Braxton. But to me, he would always be “The ONE.” And because my sister knew how to make a life. And “I am an equal opportunity misanthrope.” “Here I Am”: Father, Friend, and Fiend. Because I never planned on killing him. But I survived. I learned. And I’ve never forgiven myself, either. I dream, plan, and do nothing.

So that’s why I’m here Monday, April 21, 2025, financially effed. I should have followed.

Who, Braxton? “Too Little Too Late,” as the Barenaked Ladies sing. We’ll get to that. Today, there’s Virgil. 984 days ago, he wasn’t here. Hell! Braxton was very much alive on Tuesday, October 20, 2020, when Virgil was born. Three months later, my Braxton passed.

How much did it cost for tests and trying to keep him alive? “It Doesn’t Matter.” But when was the last check I got over one hundred dollars? And now Virgil’s vet visit, security, and the fact we need to eat… I didn’t plan on seeing forty or on trying to be Virgil’s hero. SIGH

He needs a father. I need to be a man.

Please! I don’t know the first thing about being a man. I’ve got man parts. And what was I doing with that hardware before coming here and talking to you, E? Trying not to come.

Talk about blasphemy because I was the same way on Easter Sunday. Whether it was M Anime’s nightmare that I’m writing “Cries Come Women, Come Country.” There are thoughts of Cherry’s huge vanilla Yabbos. Then such and such posted Megumi and Ayami from “Ecchi na Onee-Chan ni Shiboraretai,” so I had to cut up their episodes. But this led me to two more sisters I was moaning about in the bathroom. Filming OnlyFans? Nope. “Don’t know why I didn’t come.” “Mama told me not to come.” Braxton Wasn’t Planned, Virgil.

1543 Days Without B III, Day 984 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will