Tag: Hurt

Tale 120 ~B Wear Failure Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Things I fail at. I can’t show gratitude for opening my eyes. I’m never positive about anything except being negative. I fail to be a “Law Abiding Citizen.” And I fail to escape humiliation by my own hand. A badge of honor? B Wear Failure Virgil

Sunday, October 29, 2023

Tale 120 ~B Wear Failure Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And how long will you look at failure? Today is Friday, October 27, 2023. So close enough…

You have Braxton’s old black hoodie. And you’re wearing his picture and a pendant full of his ashes. All you need to do now is switch your shirt and put on your jeans, and then? NOTHING! You’ll still be a failure! I don’t mean to sound so harsh, but as I said sometime this week, anger is more useful than despair. And the past few days have been all despair. Hell! This morning was the perfect example. Didn’t I say I was swearing off sleeping? Okay, more like naps. So, what did I do from 9:20 AM to 9:40 AM? It’s pretty sad, so early. When you’re asleep, the monsters can’t get you. “I look at them, and we look at him.” Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Heather by G.C. McKay (Or…)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 014 No Fap)* Real Girls Are An Exception.
    Failed
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

This list, my boys, me, myself, and I. It’s crazy, insanity, or as THEY say, Hell is repetition. And I relive as you will the same failure again and again, tearing up because of this. Braxton is dead. Dying on a Sunday doesn’t make everyone terrible. Only the truth. Please! “I want the truth!” You can’t handle the truth! So, unknown failures are blessings. And let’s not forget how I worship the dead. As you will, since Fear The Walking Dead is on tonight. Oh! The things I remember. A dead son, list, and show all about corpses, ha! If it’s any consolation, I know I’ve finished Heather by G.C. McKay. Horrible choice of words with what was done to Heather, Freya. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls 3 (Or something)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

So the fact that such a book is… um, I won’t say. But I’m failing as a human being. Hmm. Only I’m suggesting we go burning it. But what about this hoodie? Hell! Burned Braxton. Now, that was pretty dark. Only you wear darkness, depression, and depravity. You could go all The Scarlet Letter and wear a big F for failure. Will you? Come on, I know with this week… The fact that we are speaking right now is that no matter what, you are F’ed. It’s why you haven’t given Virgil a collar yet and his tag. You’re not ready to rate an F as a father again. But in everything else? Because you’re not really alive. Neither am I. B Wear Failure, Virgil.

1001 Days Without B III, Day 442 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 115 ~To B Beloved Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

The look of love is in your eyes. A reason I don’t have a mirror over the bed. I’m not that freaky. I’d never see it unless I found B III… um, Virgil, a mom. It has never been a love for me; it’s love for someone else, B, V. To B Beloved Virgil.

Tuesday, October 24, 2023

Tale 115 ~To B Beloved Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you. I can confidently (ha-ha) say that I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. That’s scary, right…

Another reason I love money so much. Yes, I’m going to keep it ninety-two plus eight, babe. “My” Olds never taught me to love myself. But keeping me, myself, and I alive takes money. I’m thirty-nine and still thinking about “my” E-Day. One too many, sigh. Anyway, to love myself. And that’s in a keep-my-pants-on sort of way. I don’t think I ever will. Braxton, though, got the closest. I love him so much that I know my biological imperative. Love, you know I will indulge in my pop culture tendencies. Several, I’m afraid. As Haymitch Abernathy told Katniss… “Stay Alive.” That was my B III whenever I went out. Or, as Max said in Fury Road… “So I exist in this wasteland, reduced to one instinct: survive. I do

Two little words from the three I tell you all the time. I love you; I do. Just keep breathing. I did that for Braxton. And I do it for you every day. Take this morning for example. I saw this thing when They asked when do you feel the most STUPID. It’s opening my eyes. Hell! A “Crazy Little Thing Called Love.” It’s STUPID, too. But you know why I feel that way. Because I hate myself and like most things, I do, if for everyone else. Love and Hate, which both require me to live. And as the song goes, “Why do the things I hate come so naturally?” I hate myself to love Braxton, you, our family.

Geez! I sound so much like, um… a specific political party. I don’t love my critic but care enough to censor myself. Now I’m sitting in bed, wanting to make the list. “Someone You Loved.” I’m still talking to myself because I know you love me, somehow. And Virgil does, too… Why don’t I ask you? How I could love myself, baby girl. Last night, I dreamt about the old Day Job and how I would have felt if I lost it. Hell! I watched my firstborn die, and in his eyes, was his Daddy. I couldn’t even close them. Punishment I needed to see. Beloved, how I long to see a better man in your eyes someday. But how, love? To B Beloved Virgil

996 Days Without B III, Day 437 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 114 ~Some Sirens Find You Regardless~

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Sometimes, when I reread “my” ramblings, I see I wasn’t meant to talk. Screaming, moaning? Hell! Be the strong, silent type. No. That was my son. But there’s only one of him to cry over. No tears for the ladies? Well? Some Sirens Find You Regardless.

Monday, October 23, 2023

Tale 114 ~Some Sirens Find You Regardless~

Three-Hundredth And Fourteenth Rule

Madam Justice
Rules Are Made To Be Broken… And how about websites? To think. Suppose I lost access to Twitter/X, Onlyfans, and The Pic Phenomenon.

Suppose I lost it all for a day, Madam—only one day. And I’m trying, Madam. Braxton knows I’m trying. When Braxton was here, as Michael Jackson sang it, “Keep it in the closet.” Ha-ha. And yet I had to give my son “The Talk.” Especially when it came to his Aunt Carolina; my Braxton was a man who recognized her “assets,” the same as me. Like father, like son. Regardless of such features, Virgil will not have such problems. No woman has been in this house since his arrival. As a matter of fact. No maids, best friends, or even women of… um, never mind. Not that I have ever paid for “it.” But there have been other things. And if not. There’s Whisper.

That’s where I met Braxton’s Aunt, and that “Must have been a miracle,” Madam Justice. A lack of bedsprings to sing must mean I find my musical taste elsewhere. Everywhere! But women. Now, I treat everyone as if they’re carriers of a zombie plague. Infected! I always say… ok think, “If you’re not my dog, my girl, or applying for the job, don’t touch me.” Only with women, it’s like something out of the Bible. “Fear not them that kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul; but rather fear (HER) that is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” If I’m not studying or fawning over the dead, give me mermaids, succubi, Lilith, witches, maenads, scream queens, and sirens.

Who has more monsters, men or women? I wrote a book about it once. Monster Brothel? But that’s not the point. And what is, my critic will ask. I fall in love easily? Once upon a time. And quite horribly. Only that’s something I have to thank Braxton for. He showed me love, and then he broke my heart. Hell! Who needs women? My B was/is braver more beautiful. And yes, better than any woman. Yet I always promised I’d find him a mom. Yeah. Women are everywhere. I will burn or freeze in the Ninth Circle for betraying him. I either deserve to burn and yet be cold and sleepless. Or I’m not worthy of a girl on fire. Some Sirens Find You Regardless

995 Days Without B III, Day 436 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 113 ~B…ware Any Weakness Virgil~

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This week? What was up with last week? And what’s weak now? I’m hurt, humiliated, and besides being always angry and depressed… I’m horny. The need to exist is a weakness. I had to help get Virgil to three last week. B…ware Any Weakness, Virgil

Sunday, October 22, 2023

Tale 113 ~B…ware Any Weakness Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And even though it’s Friday, October 20, 2023. Time Travel! I want you to look at yourself…

January is the worst month of the year, no doubt. With the loss of your son and all. B III. And you can never forget The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. Talk about your shame. You would rather talk about B, but can we not talk about you for once? Hmm?

September is next in line. How many weeks has it been since Emergence, Existence, Extinction? I didn’t have the courage for that last one. So yeah, thirty-nine still sucks. Ha!

October though? If there was any time to buy a mask, short of COVID… Did you even smile for Virgil Vivi’s birthday? Again, it’s Friday, and you’re still in bed. Resting? Or I am… self-reflection sucks with Time Travel. How about those Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Heather by G.C. McKay (Or…)
    Unknown
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Unknown
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Unknown
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 014 No Fap)* Real Girls Are An Exception
    Unknown
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Unknown
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Unknown

All your weaknesses, sigh. Because even now, you’re adding more to your to-do list. Or am I? I’m sorry. I’m not helping you out other than canceling, deleting, and erasing this or that. One of your biggest weaknesses, no doubt. Well, next to this bed. Please! I’m not even trying to get up. And that’s after I took an energy shot. Sleep is such an addiction. Next to that, sadness. And we must remember that other S-word. But critics, AI, and the Average Joe. I’m weaker than the Average Joe… I didn’t take the highway. Indeed. Thursday, I was a coward. And come Sunday, you will be as well. Working? Sundays are becoming even worse. The Day Job and Braxton. But not Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Heather by G.C. McKay (Or something)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 014 No Fap)* Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because I’m too weak to do anything this week. I slept through dinner at least three times. And then there was that plate of pizza bites. You can’t use Pizza Hut’s food poisoning as an excuse since I don’t go there anymore. But where else will you go anyway? Somewhere to make you feel strong. Once upon a time, it was standing with B. Strength and Honor—my brother in arms. I taught him that. He watched me, and he knew. My B III. Virgil though? He only lies around doing the bare minimum. All to maintain and exist. He’s three now. And by now, you’ve wasted two years for him. More like 435 Days. Ashamed? Yes. Because you’re the weak. B…ware Any Weakness, Virgil

994 Days Without B III, Day 435 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 108 ~Virgil Looks To B~

WillLeave a comment

I want to see my son again. But until then. Have I been working on his photo album? Or I could be training Virgil to do something other than sleep. And if you saw the things, I’ve typed into search bars lately. Better to sleep. So, Virgil Looks To B.

Tuesday, October 17, 2023

Tale 108 ~Virgil Looks To B~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you. Hell! I desire you, want to devour you, even though I don’t deserve you these days.

Do I want too much or too little? As I used to say, I am a billionaire. I want money. Inevitably, I’ll cut on one of “my” playlists, and ahem… “Yo, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want.” The Spice Girls? I could lose all of pop culture, “For one thing.” Finger Eleven? Are they still together? Anyway, I only remember that one song for real. Like you know, the one thing that I would give up everything for. I want my son back. I want Braxton more than “the air that I breathe.” Okay, will I sing something else, love? That’s three songs I’ve looked up in about five minutes on this Sunday, October 15, 2023. I’m looking for time.

Which I’ll have a lot more of after these past couple of weeks. Does that mean less money to spend? Again, we are still billionaires, so I’m not looking at the money. Or the mother of my children. What about the mutt I still call my firstborn? Even now, I’ll defend Braxton’s pedigree. He was a purebred Deer Head Chihuahua. Now Virgil Vivi (sigh). Can I ever look at him the same way? And does he even want me to, with B’s paw prints? And, of course, I’m lying when I say I don’t look at you. I’m trying not to sing, still trying. You know the type of man I am, baby girl. The businesses I run. That I’m a connoisseur of boo… cleavage.

But looking at anything good? I’ve been struggling with gratitude and counting my many blessings. And to this day, I continue to say I’m never happy. And I can’t help this… AHEM: “I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad.” Someday, maybe if I knew where Braxton rested forever. And I feel like I’ve stopped looking. I’ll feel the pain always and forever, but after all this time. It’s STUPID, but I left my pendant with his ashes on. What if I had lost it while I was doing whatever? The last Fur Baby book I read was five books ago, love. Virgil’s been hiding because it’s like Braxton no longer guides him. And me? Saving the day, sleeping with you, such beauty. Virgil Looks To B

989 Days Without B III, Day 430 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 107 ~Life Bagged Beats Death Boxed~

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I watch people with purses, knapsacks, lunch containers, book bags, and everything else daily. All they need today or longer? And those people in boxes? Or Hell! Bags too. A good supply of them with everything going on. Life Bagged Beats Death Boxed.

Monday, October 16, 2023

Tale 107 ~Life Bagged Beats Death Boxed~

Three-Hundredth And Thirteenth Rule

Madam Justice
Rules Are Made To Be Broken… Am I getting better with these intros, or what? Do I have writing in the bag? Hmm.

And a lot of other stuff, too. It’s better not to go flaunting everything that I carry around with me. Have you ever heard that song, Head Shoulders Knees and Toes? The adult version of that is Phone Wallet Keys and Glasses. And who said I am a grown-up? Ha! I’m still crying over Braxton. He is the only one I carry with me. Madam, there was this big storm, and I remember grabbing the box with Braxton’s… remains. I mean, if the town blew away and all. Anything that takes me to my boy. Or prevents me from going outside. I mean today since I’m time traveling. It’s Sunday, October 15, 2023. That means? I’ll be spending today thinking of being in a box.

I need to stop with this. Uh, I’ve been watching for days on end. People winding up in a bag or a box. “Glass or plastic, glass or plastic?” As Stanley Goodspeed might say. Gulp. Am I going to offend anyone by talking about Israel, Hamas, Palestine, Iran, or wherever? If I did, you know how I am… scorched Earth. I don’t pack up and leave or box stuff up. Do I have to remember that time the Olds cut me off? I bagged up a lot of things then. Hell! I even left Braxton because I had no clue where I was going. It was the longest B and I were apart. And now? If we count Monday, it’s been 988 Days. Keep counting.

What? The ways bags are better than boxes. Suppose I can remember why I even made this rule, Madam. Other than how I’ve wanted a briefcase to hold money or… viruses. Resident Evil. To think there was a time I wanted to study Virology. Putting people in boxes? Madam, I don’t mean how M Anime talks about going “soldier.” But speaking of boxes… uh, yeah. I want to be in her box or Cherry’s. And how many women can I name? And still, that would be nothing but trouble. Tell that to Pandora. Some boxes should stay closed and yet. I want a million, um, a billion dollars kept in a duffle bag. Now that would be living, wouldn’t it? Life Bagged Beats Death Boxed

988 Days Without B III, Day 429 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 106 ~Virgil Needn’t B Obsessed~

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I have a habit of being obsessed with things. Torture, failure, death. Enough about me and B III. What about the other one? V knows he can leave the room anytime but cries until I come to get him. I’m not that great. “Virgil Needn’t B Obsessed.”

Sunday, October 15, 2023

Tale 106 ~Virgil Needn’t B Obsessed~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And can I say you look like absolute… I know, think positive, think big. Think at all.

But you know how that goes on a Sunday, around four in the afternoon. Say his name… Braxton. And what about Virgil? Last week, Virgil was getting all “Oh, ah, ah, ah, ah! Get up, come on, get down with the sickness.” Institutionalized? Stockholm Syndrome? Honestly, the things you begin to remember, read up on and relish in uncertain times. Or should I say “Times Like These.” Can you cut the music off for a second? You’re not a DJ or doctor, nor have you worked a day in construction. Hell! It’s only 6 AM. You’re getting ready to start another week. And as I said, it will be all about your son this afternoon. Tonight, there’s… the dead. Obsessed? Not with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 2, Backyard Dungeon 3
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 014 No Fap)*
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Or maybe you are as I was. I mean, when was the last time any of them switched at all? I knew I had bad vibes about last Sunday. Once again, your son is dead. What can be worse than that? Obsessing over a fur baby, THEY would say is… Whatever, he is/was your son. And I doubt you’ll be reading about him or others. And I didn’t cry yesterday… for him. It was, moreover, a plate of buffalo wings. But I wouldn’t call spicy an obsession; it’s just good. Oh, you know you’re not one for alcohol, “actual” drugs, and not for ammo, ha. No, you want to talk about your obsessions this morning. Failure, fallen places “Hell.” Another F. And Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Heather by G.C. McKay (Or something)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 014 No Fap)* Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

And why do you love these things so much? Better question. Why does Virgil obsess? I’m not ready to say love. It’s always, “Later V, later Virgil.” Does he even know his name yet? Maybe he’s trying to learn it, and you need to say it. But obsessing over Braxton? That should be the only thing that matters. And if that were true, Braxton would be alive today. But there was always something else. The Day Job, destruction, and depravity. Because where do you go during your Pomodoro rest periods? You clicked off the meditational guidance in exchange for what? Interests you have to translate. You’re not a good person, and the world’s not lovely. Yet you and Virgil stick around. Virgil Needn’t B Obsessed

987 Days Without B III, Day 428 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 101 ~We’ll B Late, Virgil~

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I know what it’s like when somebody picks you up from school late. Or late with an apology, if it ever comes at all. And late to keep promises or vows. At least when it came to a friend. Braxton tried to be late in leaving. We’ll B Late, Virgil.

Tuesday, October 10, 2023

Tale 101 ~We’ll B Late, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you. Hmm? That intro sounds like an apology. A little bit. I know I owe you one.

Well, some. By my last count, 982 Days’ worth. And I’m still counting. But today is Saturday, October 7, 2023. So, I’m early. No! And what would you have me say? I got caught up crying. I haven’t shed a tear for Braxton today. And that’s not a good sign, love. Speaking of which, I continue to think about that concerning Virgil. One thing is being a father to Braxton and the children you and I share, but keeping Virgil safe and sound? I call that my responsibility. Only with that, “There’s a possibility,” as the song plays. Should I go all Independence Day with it saying, “There’s still love there, I think?” But a Freeloader? Do I still consider Virgil such? And there’s Braxton?

Love can’t tell time. I heard that in a movie once. Hell! The only time I watch movies nowadays. It’s either… for business purposes. I swear I need to get Leana Lovings on the roster. And on, say it with me, January 31. They’re all about dogs or spontaneous combustion. I’ve blown off working on Braxton’s behalf. Holiday? In Memoriam. Ironically, if I had done that before, he could still be alive. And that’s the thing right there, my love. I blame my indifference, but it was also my lateness. And before we ever met… The one thing I didn’t want to be late for was the Day Job. I would return to that place. Love, my entire existence has been one of being late.

Then again you told me you were late. How did I feel about that? Happiness is such a problematic word for me. Again, love can come whenever, but happiness? I’m still trying to meet it. No! I ain’t even going to lie about that. What’s My Age Again? Almost Forty. Love, did you think I forgot about E-Day? Well, I did forget about Christopher Columbus —the so-called holiday. But the pain he caused remains to this very day love. Horrifying. But again, Braxton’s last day, his birthday? Any day that Braxton was with me living. Today is not that day. And I’ll continue to be lazy or late. But nothing less than in love with you. I said this morning, breathing. We’ll B Late, Virgil.

982 Days Without B III, Day 423 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 100 ~Motivation Is Merely The Invitation~

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What motivates and inspires me? Virgil needs to eat. So did Braxton? In the places I go, I don’t need invitations. But I’m not motivated to be there. It’s The Bare Necessities. So they say. But to have all I want… Motivation Is Merely The Invitation.

Monday, October 9, 2023

Tale 100 ~Motivation Is Merely The Invitation~

Three-Hundredth And Twelfth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now… So, of course, my primary motivation is more money and cruelty against my fellow man. That so?

Is that a threat? Consider it an invitation… If I could remember where I first heard this, Madam. But isn’t that why we’re here today? Well, Saturday, October 7, 2023. Because, much like last week, this one is going to suck. So why show up if I’m this unhappy, hmm? Braxton needs to eat. Well, not anymore since I failed him. What I meant to say is Virgil needs food. How’s that for motivation? As I was telling Lady Lu this morning, keeping 2V safe. First, there was a possum. And this morning, a black cat was staring. GULP! I needed to get up and go. The story of my existence, “Run Boy Run.” And am I running from or towards? Regardless, there’s always FEAR…

And that shouldn’t serve as motivation. An invitation to be courageous? Thou art courageous. If anything. After last week, I’d settle on this. Don’t be dumb. I am trying, ha. Ignorance kills! And if I don’t have a heart attack. Or crumble with my FEAR. Ignorance will be the culprit. And every day… I swear! Even now, I’m mad about my shattered reading record with Braxton. A memory is gone. But I read, always and forever. Whatever! Five Hundred and Forty-Two days, I see. It’s not like I’m getting less ignorant. Everything I read is punishing myself over Braxton or something to do with Boo… No! I’m not talking about Halloween. And then there are Kindle Challenges and other books. An invitation to avoid Ignorance…

Well, I could stop looking up… “other” forms of entertainment. That is if you’re wondering why this conversation is taking so long. I want to get more sleep this week. But more to the point, I can’t help what I want. My greatest sin… Well, the second. My first is Treachery. I wasn’t motivated to do much of nothing with B’s death. It’s all my fault. Afterwards though? I can find anything when it comes to some girl. Japanese, Chinese, Russian… I would have done much better in some language classes. But what do I know? FEAR, Ignorance, and Lust. And with enough money and power. Am I Motivated enough? I got up, rushing around for an iPad. Existence, Life? Motivation Is Merely The Invitation

981 Days Without B III, Day 422 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 099 ~Virgil, Won’t B Unknown~

WillLeave a comment

Into the unknown? I’m hoping that’s where I’ll find my boy. Today or a week from now, I have no clue. Then again, I know where I’ll be. And it sucks! Looking into the mirror every day. Ah! Has Virgil seen himself in a mirror? Virgil, Won’t B Unknown.

Sunday, October 8, 2023

Tale 099 ~Virgil, Won’t B Unknown~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And didn’t we speak only a few hours ago? It’s Sunday, October 1, 2023. So, bad vibes…

But it’s like this every Sunday. It’s knowing the workweek is about to begin. It’s getting a text or, worse, a phone call from “The Olds.” It’s walking down the aisle of PetSmart, trying to catch your breath. And why is that? You carried Braxton to his death right there. The things you know and remember. But this week, much like 2V… You know nothing! It makes our talk different and special, and you dare think good? A week, not existing. If you’re lucky, it won’t have to. The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had. Mad World? You wonder what Virgil dreams about. No fur baby dreams of death, right? But he has pictures and howling. Facebook and the neighbors know. You? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 2 (OR) Another Title
    Unknown
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Unknown
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Unknown
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Unknown (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Unknown
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Unknown

And as you thought, this week is unique because you don’t know if any of these things got done. But if we stick with current trends… One yes and five no. You rather not know. What would I do if I were in your shoes? Hello, Man In The Mirror. I would see myself… HAPPY. Gasp! Now, all you want to do is disappear. Virgil sees you, not like Braxton. But he does, and people know, at least when you’re walking out the door. Leaving. Praying? If you ever talked to GOD again. But it would be the same thing. To let you trade places with Braxton. Spare him and take you. Because, like you said, there are bad vibes today. And Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 2 (OR) Another Title
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

So I can’t give you any advice. Not that you would listen anyway. Or try to understand it ever. Like these motivational speeches, keep talking about magic wands, miracles, and must. What must you do while you sit in bed with 3 Doors Down’s ” If I Could Be Like That.” Dead? Do you remember when you were scared to talk like this? Intrusive thoughts? If you want to lay anywhere. Let it be in the pages of some book you have written. You’ve been seeing a lot from “mosttalentedbaldman” Johnny Sins. You can lay in bed or anywhere else. With some pretty girl, heh-heh. That’s going out with a bang. Don’t you think? But you’re no father, writer, or boss. Virgil, Won’t B Unknown

980 Days Without B III, Day 421 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will