Journey 233 ~HIGH Virgil, Braxton’s BAKED~

I wish I could say I was high as a kite or I was as high as B, wherever he is. The Rainbow Bridge? The Rainbow Road? It’s not like I can buy Mario Kart, whatever, or any more books. I’m sort of addicted to eating. “HIGH Virgil, Braxton’s BAKED.”

Thursday, February 19, 2026

Journey 233 ~HIGH Virgil, Braxton’s BAKED~

1845 Days Without B III, Day 1286 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I know that I’ve seen “Better Days,” Glasses on. Phone on my chest. Something pretty…

Oh, and what could be cuter than B? I miss you sitting on my head. Ok, duly noted, my boy.

But I wouldn’t mind if M Anime sat on my face. I know, I know, Eww! But she is your potential stepmom. And Braxton, in all honesty, your Dad did not want to wake up.

Please, that’s most mornings. But this one was particularly bad. And the only reason your bum of a father is sitting in Den in front of the TV is because she texted. And I had the good sense not to shatter my glasses, which is why the phone was on my chest. If anything, that is a testament to how HOT she is… I broke a pair reading “Backyard Dungeon.”

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

You know, the HaremLit series from Logan Jacobs. That was one of those books I wouldn’t read to you or your little brother. But that doesn’t mean it should be burned. If I were to start burning books, it’s because I can’t afford them. Eff MAGA, eff the Cracker Hats, and FDT! And that brings me to today, Braxton. I’m missing you, I’m worried about
Virgil. And myself? Well, eff me too. Another reason I’m still “Alive.” But Meat Loaf?

Braxton, I couldn’t have that even if I knew how to make it. I make bad financial decisions. A lot. Like Backyard Dungeon? Why am I hitting Mr. Jacobs? I liked Backyard Dungeon. I was tired and dropped my tablet onto my glasses one day.

C’est La Vie, treat you unfairly. Like between you and Virgil. You’re both my sons, and I love you both. But fathers aren’t supposed to have favorites, and you know who wins between you and Virgil. I’m either going to Hell for what happened to you or how I’m treating him. Honestly, either way, I need a drink, a smoke, or some pus**… Gross! Sorry!

But I could REALLY be on drugs or develop a drinking problem. There’s also Obsession. I sent M Anime that Animotion tune, and if I could tell her anything, “You’re So Damn Hot.” The only time you were hotter than her is when you got baked… A horrible joke, duly noted. I ain’t right. Low-blood sugar. HIGH Virgil, Braxton’s BAKED

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 232 ~Braxton, Virgil, Game On~

One night over twenty-something years ago, I could have been playing more Final Fantasy… Which was it, somewhere between 10 and 12? Anyway, we didn’t play in games. Don’t be a fool, wrap our tool. Still, I’m a father of two. Braxton, Virgil, Game On.

Wednesday, February 18, 2026

Journey 232 ~Braxton, Virgil, Game On~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Hurry up and wait? Remember who you are? “Regrets, I’ve had a few.” A little early for music…

Not if I was at the Day Job. But we’ll get to that. Today, what had me wasting my little boys’ time this morning? If I were talking about my balls, I would have said big boys. And again, we’ll get to those, too. Also, eww! Today I mean B’s memory and Virgil’s Little Life.

The name of the game is Whiteout Survival. A Forty-One-Old-Man playing an effing mobile game. Effing developers! And let’s not forget those people I told M Anime about and their wicked ways. This morning has me very (Hercules Scream) Disappointed!

Inspector, eff Kevin Sorbo, eff MAGA, eff the Cracker Hats and FDT! But Whiteout, right?

What a way to put that game. Simply put, I’m losing and in last place.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“In My Place,” SIGH. You should listen to me and M Anime sometime. Her place…

Inspector, I wish I could go all Dame Vaako with it, or that M Anime would one day soon, Echo. Do you remember what she said to her husband? Husband… me, am I in love…

“My place is at your side, dear husband. From here till underverse come.”
Dame Vaako

Not yet, dear Inspector. I still haven’t forgiven M Anime for Sunday, August 24, 2026. Only there’s something to be said about accountability. And when a hot Latina is saying she needs to be punished… Somehow, Inspector, I feel like Marv from Sin City saying:

“I’m staring at a goddess, she’s telling me she wants me. I’m not going to waste one more second wondering how I’ve gotten so lucky… She smells like angels oughta smell. The perfect woman. The goddess.”
Marv, Sin City (2005)

With everything she wants with me, I just remember what it was like my first time, Echo. The girl was a mix of Tegan Mohr, Leana Lovings, and Lana Tailor.

Why the eff didn’t I marry her… Picture a skinny black man barely in nothing but a pair of glasses and black socks in the back of a car in an empty parking lot in the middle of the night. Again, I have no quams with my body. It’s my face I hate the most. But anyway, I just received my first BJ (to make me last longer for round two), and this woman is…

Well, bouncing on my lap after she helps me get a condom on. Memories, Inspector…

And no, she wasn’t a “professional.” But paying for a woman… A Man Provides for his family. I’m broke. Life is a game. Love is the instruction. I can’t play… But Braxton, Virgil, Game On

1844 Days Without B III, Day 1285 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 226 ~That’ll B Heavenly, Virgil~

All For Love? I met B when he was barely two months old, and stayed until 13 days shy of his 16th birthday. He passed in his own bed at the vet’s. Right now… Most days, I know I should have followed him. All For One. That’ll B Heavenly, Virgil.

Thursday, February 12, 2026

Journey 226 ~That’ll B Heavenly, Virgil~

1838 Days Without B III, Day 1279 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Me? I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed—things my Olds never said to me ever.

So what am I saying it to you for? Isn’t it Ironic, I blame you when I feel like this?

Like, I might die? A stomach bug, a toothache, like I got hit by a truck, and every bone was breaking after the Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident, and there’s drowning.

Honestly, B, I shouldn’t have made it to forty-one, but here I am wishing you a Happy Birthday. More like Welcome to Level Twenty-One! Your birthday is tomorrow, of course.

But again, who knows if I’ll live to see it. Wrong words, Braxton Barks Bradford. But if I turn the computer a certain way as I sit here in bed, I can imagine it’s you lying against my leg, and now your little brother Virgil.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Must I be so mean? If you want to see ornery, yep, that’s me getting up after puking into a garbage can next to the bed. Eww! Do I blame that Jack’s chicken? Downright blasphemy. The best legs, breasts, and thighs can be found in a bucket/box of chicken ha-ha. For me, I’d say on your Favorite Girl, Cherry, or your potential stepmom, M Anime.

Speaking of which, maybe it’s all the horrible things I was thinking about her, before, then after the breakup, and now the reconciliation, when she needs me to be the man she needs me to be. The “Only One For Me.” Yeah, yeah, B, once upon a time, it was you and me against the world. But yabbos, hot sauce…

I’m not MAGA. Being a horrible human being can actually make me sick. Or I should sue Buffalo Wild Wings for that Wild Sauce. “Put you on the highway to Heaven like I’m your Uber.” Was that BWW or Hallelujah Heaven? Hell, it’s been five years, B III, I know.

Five years since your trip to the Rainbow Bridge. And if you told me I would die with all this pain and get to join you. I’d actually consider myself blessed. I’d follow you, Braxton.

And it’s a good thing I can’t eat anything. Diddly next to squat this paycheck, and next week is squat as in zero. So, about your birthday? M Anime says I listen. You’d say Stay Alive. That’ll B Heavenly, Virgil

‘It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 225 ~B A Tax V~

Death, Taxes, and Yabbos. Everything else is a roll of the dice. What about my boys? V was cuddling up against me this morning instead of being at the foot of the bed. B is cute, with V… Annoying? I’m not so mean, but the taxman cometh. B A Tax V

Wednesday, February 11, 2026

Journey 225 ~B A Tax V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… What! Telling lies about my sons? Let’s say Braxton had very few friends. And then there’s 2-V, Virgil…

I swear if Braxton’s little brother walked on two legs and spoke a word of Spanish… He is a Chihuahua after all. Anyway, people would think I’m an abusive parent. I’m busy. I can be a bastard. And this week shows you how broke I am. But abusive, MAGA, never.

Is it wrong that I don’t REALLY know who Bad Bunny is? Hell, I still watched the halftime show on Sunday. And I hear it was a million or a 100 million fans better than…

Whatever MAGA did. Eff MAGA, eff the Cracker Hats, and always and forever FDT, E!

Is that how taxes work? How should I know? But did I mention I was broke? And as far as this week, so far, Inspector…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Okay, time for some real confessions: Again, I liked Bad Bunny’s show. And allow me to sound like a Cracker Hat for a minute. Ahem! My “girlfriend,” my woman, M Anime, is Boricua. She’s been teaching me some naughty Spanish… But Spanish ads are annoying.

Why, Inspector? I suppose that if I must listen, if people are going to tell me sweet “Little Lies.” Suppose I must know that I’m a loser. Tell me in a language I’ll understand, Inspector.

Speaking of which, I don’t know what Virgil is saying either. I speak fluent Braxton. Inspector, around this time five years ago, I was the one talking to his box on the nightstand. And the only word that came out was-SORRY. I don’t get it.

I don’t get me. But for around $700… Are those slave prices? Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill… Effed me. How dare he or anybody? B III Braxton Barks Bradford. Anyway Inspector.

Seriously, my account is empty, but what about my empathy? Last night, M Anime was telling me about a horrific experience she endured or almost. The fear was very real.

Inspector, Five guys? Not the burger joint, though meat was involved. I’d cut them off…

So while she shared this, what do you think I was thinking? She’s safe and sound. Those S.O.B.’s my sadistic tendencies for all involved, them and her, and then “I Wanna Sex You Up.” Nothing is certain but death, taxes, and my deviance. Which is worse? B A Tax V.

1837 Days Without B III, Day 1278 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 219 ~Minus Braxton and Virgil~

So, if life is a game, then love is the instruction. B, His Favorite Girl, V, and M Anime, who loves me… And still I don’t effing love me. But maybe I’m not in the negatives. Oh right. Minus Braxton and Virgil.

Thursday, February 5, 2026

Journey 219 ~Minus Braxton and Virgil~

1831 Days Without B III, Day 1272 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I ask that every day, when you would emerge and when the house was empty.

And it was for around 559 days if the math is correct. But you know your Dad and Math, B III. Wasn’t I still in college… Ahem, junior college, when we first met? And according to my Math, you were supposed to outlive me. Come on, with my track record. Also, something I said to your potential stepmom yesterday. First off, Eww! And second History. But for now, there’s Math, and why this subject came to mind: the bank, Braxton.

Someone has their ones and zeros confused. And if it’s not that, look what time it is, Braxton. 4:40 AM? Madness. Your brother is here. How many hours has he just been lying here, Baby B? And one day I’ll be without him too. WTF!

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’m always talking to you about language, so I apologize. And we’ll get to that too. Or maybe Science, Biology, how about P.E.? Eww! I should stop being gross. Although I don’t see nothing wrong, with a little “Bump N’ Grind.” This brings us back to History and the fact that I’m once again… Infatuated, Obsessed… Something with M Anime.

Braxton, you know I’ve been thinking plenty about you. The 31st, you “left”. The 4th: “I See Fire.” The 10th: “I retrieved you.” The 13th is your 21st birthday. Historical.

Honestly, I’m doing better than MAGA remembering. Except I‘m not doomed… I’m not Baby B. Call it “Faith of the Heart,” But I want to believe in M Anime. And your brother’s love and life.

Virgil’s life. I don’t know how he stands me sometimes. He talks to you, Braxton…

Let’s move into the paranormal. Why don’t we, hmm, B III? Am I Frankenstein, as I keep bringing you back? I could be the Umbrella corporation, which would make you Resident Evil… No, that’s me. Also, it’s effing February! But your spirit, specter, your sentients…

Hell, are we going to get into AI? “She Blinded Me with Science.” M Anime? No, “Son, what you don’t understand, my words might never explain.” What, her yabbos? Ha-ha!

“Don’t Look Down” on those Braxton. Just like Pizza Girl’s ass from Ian and Kye’s Pizza… Your Dad is just… A freak? A “Creep.” Yet love remains. Yours, V’s, and M’s. Minus Braxton and Virgil?

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 218 ~Braxton, Virgil, What’s ROUND?~

The world keeps turning, without B III, with the dance M Anime and I are in. And milkshakes? If she’d charge me. How do I keep my head on straight when there are so many curves to traverse? And rounds to fight. Braxton, Virgil, What’s ROUND

Wednesday, February 4, 2026

Journey 218 ~Braxton, Virgil, What’s ROUND?~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And not just with my wording. And do you see what time it is? Where Is My Mind?

If my head could be anywhere this moment… Both of them… I’d choose Yabbos. And preferably, somewhere far away. “It’s the perfect time of year. Somewhere far away from here.” But while I would choose some woman’s Yabbos, I only want to leave because of this. Five years ago, somewhere in this state, I assume, my Little Braxton was cremated.

Thursday, February 4, 2021. Braxton got his walking papers on Sunday, January 31, 2021, so it wasn’t like he’d need his legs for much longer. That’s effed up, Inspector. Seriously.

But even more so is the fact that my boys, Braxton and Virgil, weren’t the first things on my brain. And it wasn’t even Yabbos. But we’ll get there. It was time. One, three zero.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

1:30 AM, and we are only now talking? I effed off for about an hour. Fell back asleep, and now these hands keep slipping back to the phone. And I wonder why I’m broke, Echo.

You don’t hear any round coins hitting the bank account lately. And I have to “pray” that the car keeps rolling. I hope Virgil keeps his little round head on. And what about my glasses? I need to set up an eye exam. And you know, people are asking about ones and zeros all around me. I effing hate math. Then there’s playing DJ at the Day Job? The music.

Playlist. Track numbers. I worry about the most useless things. Would I say the same thing about my black balls?

Well, they ain’t turning blue but not from a lack of trying. Am I trying to wreck things with M Anime again? And isn’t Cherry my friend? And I should check on Braxton’s Favorite Girl. She doesn’t even know me and M Anime, “Me and Mrs. Jones…” Hell if “I’ll grow to be a wise man. Well, I ask if I’ll grow old.” With who? I should make M Anime, my Julia (1984), my Mrs. Jones to be Mrs. Bradford. Crazy right? She admits infatuation. I call her “My Obsession.” Speaking of which, Cherry’s crying about money like we all are. And her two big money makers. Hell, I’d go broke for those. I see M’s for free. Boys, boobies, balls… Braxton, Virgil, What’s ROUND?

1830 Days Without B III, Day 1271 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 212 ~Sit-down And B Virgil~

I didn’t see today like this. Five years ago, I got the call that my son was suffering from kidney failure. And I didn’t expect today I’d hear from another lost love, and “Oops (Oh My)” are those my pants? V and B are outside. “Sit-down And B Virgil”

Thursday, January 29, 2026

Journey 212 ~Sit-down And B Virgil~

1824 Days Without B III, Day 1265 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Around this time five years ago, I’m sure the answer would be Hell No, Braxton.

You were at the vet’s office. But I was imagining that “Big Beautiful Bill” for them to find out what was wrong with you. First off, Eww! Using the words of that orange doofus in the White House. I’m getting off topic, but someone got on me for using that A-Hole’s words yesterday. Blah, blah, “But that’s okay.” Ragebait. I’ll admit it. For the record…

Your Daddy is hopeless. Anyway, I was lying on this loveseat… Was that my meditation phase, or was I in bed sick, sleeping, or stroking it? Again Eww! Really! Seriously!

Anyway, five years ago today, I still had my world. I had you. However, you were in another’s hands. No guard duty for you, as you were interviewing for Heaven.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Hell! You could have been saving your strength to take on Cerberus, B. Dad’s Hell-bound?

After what happened to you? No question? Treachery in the Ninth Circle of Hell, Braxton.

But today, seeing “Well, we didn’t get dressed up for nothing.” Ain’t I lying? Honestly.

Braxton, this is definitely one of those times I would have sent you to your room for a while. I can’t say your little brother is “HAPPY” with me either. Virgil is literally hiding under his pillow. What? He had the whole damn loveseat for about an hour while I…

Gave into Sloth before Lust! Standing, lying down, or sitting, I’ll remain a “Lazy Ass.”

Brooms sang “Lazy Ass” best. So if you’re wondering why we’re talking right this minute…

A little while ago, I was standing outside with your little brother. And I was wondering what his malfunction is. He’s been here four years! I haven’t figured Virgil out.

Anyway, when I was thinking of going out, I started talking to M Anime. Don’t give me that look, B. “Here It Goes Again.” Locked doors, gates up, and me trying not to do laundry. Eww! But there’s a reason M Anime was nearly your stepmom, and she’s using two of her “assets” to convince me of her and my misunderstanding. Your Favorite Girl wouldn’t be happy. And me forgiving? I’ve been sitting here for five years, and I’ve never forgiven myself for losing you. $455.96 to find out… You’re dying. Sit-down And B Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 211 ~Braxton’s Balancing Act, Virgil~

There’s a house, there’s a home, and then there’s this place. There’s “Fire and Desire,” but it’s all Hell. There are B and V. B’s a spirit, spook, or a specter, and V is a scaredy cat, um, dog. It’s a balancing act. “Braxton’s Balancing Act, Virgil”

Wednesday, January 28, 2026

Journey 211 ~Braxton’s Balancing Act, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… On this day five years ago, I stood between “rage and serenity.” The middle of the effing road.

The most dangerous place to drive. Really! Movie Quotes! X-Men: First Class vs. They Live. That reminds me. Am I watching dog movies Saturday, or The Mill, Spontaneous, and other things? Tradition, Inspector Echo. Braxton and my movie nights. Memories. Sometimes his Favorite Girl would be here to watch with us. I would read right from this loveseat. I cried my eyes out the first night B III passed. Hell, I sound like MAGA, Echo.

Unlike Trump and the Cracker Hats, I own my sins. Why isn’t Braxton here, Inspector? Because, with these hands, I signed away his life. I couldn’t protect my firstborn. Braxton.

“I’ve abandoned my child! I’ve abandoned my boy!”
Daniel Plainview

I’ve never seen the movie “There Will Be Blood.” But there was—anger at the Day Job, hiding from Braxton.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Indifference, my dear Inspector. This is my greatest sin. I don’t want to feel anything.

Man will always choose darkness rather than light. First, do I mean me? And second, I said choose, but there is no choice. I’m scared, I’m sinful in a PURGE sort of way. All crimes, including… And am I sexual? Yeah. I don’t choose. I fall. Tight rope be damned.

If Braxton were here, you could ask him. Good would have been recognizing something was wrong with him and getting help. Eff the Day Job. Bad would have been taking my anger at people out on him. But no, I picked him up and fell asleep—our last good sleep.

Up all night/morning Thursday, I called the vet that afternoon…

And? And! He would be dead by Sunday. All because I couldn’t maintain balance, Echo.

“Sitting in Limbo.” Only now it isn’t the Day Job—love vs. Later. B III vs 2-V They are both my sons, my kids. But between my sister and me. My Old Man clearly chooses her. And I can’t say I blame him. But I’m the same. I mourn Braxton, but where does V stand?

Love vs. Hate. I already told “her” that I don’t hate her. M Anime! Braxton’s Favorite Girl would kick my ass for talking to M Anime now. But between M and I… Rage, Lust, and…

Love? Nah… Braxton would bark I need to choose Love for myself. Life or death? Breathing? Braxton’s Balancing Act, Virgil

1823 Days Without B III, Day 1264 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 205 ~Braxton NOSE Women, Virgil~

“I loved, and I loved, and I lost you, and it hurts like hell.” I’ve been singing that a lot: my firstborn, my potential missus. Then I’m reading about a guy with three women. All brides? Where’s my woman? B would’ve known. Braxton NOSE Women, Virgil

Thursday, January 22, 2026

Journey 205 ~Braxton NOSE Women, Virgil~

1817 Days Without B III, Day 1258 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My day? Well, I’m sitting next to Virgil. Not your Favorite Girl or M Anime.

But your brother, who was asleep last night, gratefully as I read “Pledged To Him 8: An Unconventional Romance (His Sorority Harem Book Eight)” by Neil Bimbeau. Or he was faking it, waiting for me to go to bed. I woke up at 3:45 AM with all the lights on…

Anyway, this is more a conversation for Lady Sophia, but “we men, ain’t we? Glory! Anyway, so I’m reading, and you know your Dad. I’m like an effing Oracle! I have a nose for books. And each one tells me exactly what I need to hear. A man who lost his wife gains a harem and marries a group of his girls. Three to be precise. Two blondes, but an Asian girl is number one.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

So M Anime? She was my number one. But she was from Puerto Rico. We’ll get to that B III.

Only I was thinking that the closest I ever had to a harem was your Favorite Girl, M Anime, and Cherry. I’ll never forget how you chose your Favorite Girl. You hated her for months and then sometime in April… Not to be confused with “Sometimes in April.” That movie was effed up and a true story. Braxton, your Favorite Girl, lay on the loveseat and covered her face. I let you go. “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp.

“I got a snow bunny and a black girl, too. You pay the right price. and they’ll both do you.”

Kidding! But you sniff her all over and next thing you know, you’re besties. Traitor.

Again, kidding! That’s for next week. But you love her.

You would be going on twenty-one this year. I wish you were here, son. I’d have to place you on M Anime, and you could have sniffed her out. I would have kicked her out…

Yeah, right! Yabbos blind Your Daddy. Some nice melons, and who cares what you think? All I know is I “Just can’t stop thinkin’ ’bout you,” well, M Anime this week. You are my son. Your Favorite Girl and I were “Just Friends. But M Anime? “I’ll Be His Misses.”

Braxton, she ain’t singing that to me. She’s not my Anya Jenkins, Julia, or Melina.

Honestly, your Dad is Forty-One and maidenless. And I’ll never be, buy three engagement rings rich. But you remain. And Virgil. Braxton NOSE Women, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 204 ~B Needs Blankets, Virgil~

Last week I said I wanted to put my head under the covers. Wouldn’t that be WHITE of me? Scared and wearing bedsheets over my face… Excuse me, their effing MAGA hats. But no, I want to be seen, crying over my son and my girl. B Needs Blankets, Virgil

Wednesday, January 21, 2026

Journey 204 ~B Needs Blankets, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… What? Have I not given Braxton and M Anime the wall-to-wall mourning and misery they deserve? Blanket coverage?

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”
Inigo, The Princess Bride

Thank you, Inigo Montoya, but I have bigger sins. Three if I’m specific. Although SIGH…

“Sigh No More.” Well, not until E-Day anyway. But the fact that I’ve had Forty-One E-Days (Cue Ben-Hur Galley Drums) is a sin in and of itself. The fact that I’m breathing, that I don’t want to be, that “I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all.” “Sometimes, yet I still pretend.” That brings me back to the big two, Inspector. “Love and Happiness?”

Without my son, Braxton. Without my girl, M Anime. Why aren’t we talking about them?

I swear at the Day Job, I wanted to scream out, “My son is dead!” I could play his songs…

Next week? Am I trying to get fired? Beats Frozen.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And while we’re on the subject of Elsa and Anna… Day One? Eww. Relax, Inspector, it wasn’t those sisters that got me off this afternoon. But it wasn’t M Anime either. And that’s my point right there. What am I planning for this week and Saturday? As if grieving is supposed to be a surprise. I’ve mourned Braxton for going on five years. But the woman I was going to marry, potentially, and who was going to have my children.

Inspector, this is new. So I thought I would dance to the two songs I dedicate to her. Those are: “Days Go By” by Dirty Vegas and “King of Wishful Thinking” by Go West. Hmm.

Sorry, I’m not Rick Grimes. I lost my family, Inspector.

“You ain’t no kind of man if you ain’t got land.”
Spoken by Delmar O’Donnell

And thank you as well, Delmar O’Donnell. Or should I speak as Prince Hector did, with all the honor the gods, love your woman, and defend your country? Braxton was more than a prince. He was my little god. And I failed him as I fail his little brother Virgil.

Woman? My woman? She’s married or is about to be married to someone else in Georgia, Georgia… So close and yet so far. But I’ve been thinking of that Ludacris tune for weeks, Inspector. Earworm? Like “I’m only a man in a silly red sheet.” I’m not her Superman, E.

It’s not easy to be me, Inspector. “I’m only a man in a funny red sheet. My country? Eff MAGA! But B Needs Blankets, Virgil

1816 Days Without B III, Day 1257 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will