Tag: Crying

Tale 011 ~Happiness’s A B, Virgil~

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Negative? Have you taken a look outside the window? Or turn on the TV, computer, or phone. I swear screens are everywhere. That’s why I’m making more room for audiobooks. But with all these pics of my boys. I should be happy? Happiness’s A B, Virgil.

Wednesday, July 12, 2023

Tale 011 ~Happiness’s A B, Virgil~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But is that happiness? I should start my day with the truth, Inspector though it hurts.

My son is dead. God, a lie is so much simpler. I am a billionaire, ha-ha. Or I am dead already. Inspector, how about I am happy? Again, simplicity. I haven’t got that remark out of my head from a couple of days ago about being negative. But happiness? I feel a bit sick. Inspector, that could be the energy shot I took. Please! I do that at the Day Job every day, don’t I. Does having the Day Job make me happy? Ill Will. Infected, Insane, Incredulous of “Life Itself.” Do you remember that movie? Of all the things that come up, dear Echo, you know, like when I do those meditations. Or when I listened to motivations. And that one moment in school.

Happiness is not a thing I find. Do you find it or make it at all, Inspector? It’s 7:05 AM. And here I am, sitting in the center of the bed, trying to write it out. It’s hard, dammit. I got to stop doing “that.” Once again, I’m censoring myself because of some no-name troll. There is nothing I can say that wouldn’t be thought of as a negative Inspector. Existence. While I was lying here and thinking about what I wanted, um… Movement, Space, Time. I saw this meme before. And I don’t have TIME to find it. But it said something like this. “You told me to be happy.” What was it, you ask? It was a coffin in a graveyard. Oh yeah.

Okay, I can’t talk about my son. I’m trying. Yes, really, not to speak about “relations.” And people suck. What would be acceptable to everyone else? Negativity is not allowed! Inspector, I want to move something other than my fingers every day. And that’s the bare minimum. I want to walk with Virgil without fear of him running away. Sigh. There are several things I want to move on from. (Cough) Braxton. Grief, rage, bedrooms… Inspector, I don’t want to worry about that space between me and my pants. Always. E, I want to stop feeling whatever when V takes up the center of the bed wanting to be close. I want to quit wasting time and find or make happiness… Happiness’s A B, Virgil

892 Days Without B III, Day 333 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 008 ~Faceoff: Braxton vs. Virgil~

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A pillow I effed up soon after V’s arrival, and a can of dog food. I haven’t thrown anything of B’s away. I see his bed every day. I wear the hoody he laid on. But seeing his face… Mine… “No face as hideous as my face.” “Faceoff: Braxton vs. Virgil.”

Sunday, July 9, 2023

Tale 008 ~Faceoff: Braxton vs. Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. And existence is easier when you don’t have to see the faces of those you hurt, asshole.

Is it any wonder the sons of former slave owners… grandsons, great-grandsons? Hell! Whatever? Anyway, they don’t want to see African Americans on a greenback… Government (sigh)! It’s how you wake up in the morning. Well, next to the pornography. How you wish you could say you’d give it all up to see Braxton again. Now would you? I mean, really, could you? You could look into Virgil’s little eyes. Between V and B? There would be no contest. Braxton wins. Though you’re not one for putting your boys against each other… How did this day start again? You were mad at Twitter, jerking to some twins, and then? Ahh, missing your son like last night and hearing that song while doing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Ark (Forward Collection) by Veronica Roth
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 007 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

For the record, in Ark (Forward collection) Kindle Edition by Veronica Roth, the song “Wish You Were Here.” Sam was talking about Pink Floyd and not the one from Incubus. One more reason you believe B is sending you signs. And working for ugly women? That’s pretty harsh. Women you don’t find attractive or that you’ve never seen at all. Although you believe Samantha in the story is “So Hott” and Veronica Roth too. Effer. Effing Pic Phenomenon. I was so scared when that happened. You still are, no doubt. Today though, it’s getting to that point of “I Don’t Care Anymore.” Considering I’ve gotten off to that pixeled mess from some Japanese films. Only “God” knows all the faces you’ve seen. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Thinking On It… Effing Kindle Challenges
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

But you wonder if there is such an entity, has he seen your face? And if not, Heaven, uh, no. You’re more self-conscious that B III is somewhere looking at you. Oh, to have shame. That’s why you hate mirrors. To beg that thing on the other side to “Save me from the nothing I’ve become.” I can’t, or I won’t. And it will be the same for you. Frightening. More than any horror movie I’ve seen, or you will. Why do you think you’ll study Necromancy? How to bring the dead back to life. You’re talking about yourself. Only you don’t want to see it. Trust The Process? There are clocks, Virgil’s eyes, people. You’ll see yourself and HATE yourself. Faceoff: Braxton vs. Virgil

889 Days Without B III, Day 330 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 007 ~Braxton’s Doggone Insanity Virgil~

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Last week? Why I’m not a millionaire or billionaire… Every Day Is Exactly the Same. Wake up late, conversate, take a break, masturbate, life to fake, accept my fate, dream my mistakes. Wash, rinse, repeat. Braxton’s Doggone Insanity Virgil.

Saturday, July 8, 2023

Tale 007 ~Braxton’s Doggone Insanity Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I think to myself I should state facts —Braxton’s dead. I’m wrong. I like blowjobs…

Hell is repetition. Whether what I say is the truth or a lie. Hell! Why not a little of both… Who am I now, Erwin Schrodinger? Lady Lunalesca, don’t look up Hell in the morning. So I say I’m a billionaire going on seven years now. Not always. But I don’t want to look it up. I’ll go back to searching for porn. I’ve been sitting here listening to Balance. Meditation runs amuck and all that. I can’t say that it’s been helping. And yet here we are, Lady Lunalesca. And why? I tell everyone how many days Braxton’s been gone. But how many days have I been meditating? Ninety-eight days, 115 hrs, and 59 mins at last count. And? “Insane in da membrane,” Lunalesca.

For Hell is the impossibility of reason, Lady Lunalesca. Do you remember when I was all in my motivational phase? The way I would burn through Spotify for inspiring words. Speaking of which, I don’t have enough money for audiobooks. I do, but you know what I mean, Lady Lunalesca. Yesterday I was talking about that 50/30/20 Rule. Money spent? Lunalesca, you don’t want to know. But plugging my ears to listen to people’s prattling. All because I don’t want to hear other people talking all day. Their insanity, madness. Then at the same time, I’ll complain that my ears are all stopped up with earwax. I know Lady Lunalesca; that’s some TMI, right? Braxton was so loud, but to hear my little boy B.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” They say one of the wisest men ever said that. So here I am, trying to be a dad again with V. At the onset of our conversations, Lady Lunalesca, I could be saying one more thing. Please! Not those mean words. “He’s not my son.” Again who am I, Lady Lunalesca? Looking into the mirror (eww), I have yet to become Joel Miller from The Last of Us. The world he lived in would drive anyone crazy. And yet he kept going. He tried, you know.

“You’re not my [son]. And I sure as hell ain’t your dad.” Joel Miller, TLOU

But “Who Wants To Live Forever?” Even in Hell. Every one! Braxton, Virgil, even me. Fact or question to meditate on. Braxton’s Doggone Insanity Virgil

888 Days Without B III, Day 329 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 006 ~Virgil Has No B~

WillLeave a comment

I’m crushing on one of the chicks in “Buried Deep in Our Hearts.” When she told a few of her coworkers to shut their pie-holes about her cat. But I was so angry I went back to reading about the world’s end like losing a fur baby is. Virgil Has No B.

Friday, July 7, 2023

Tale 006 ~Virgil Has No B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now, so why not try to get off this godforsaken rock? Too busy getting off, aren’t I?

Heh-heh, Day One Ish… And yet 887 days without my son. Hell! If I were a better man, I’d go the same amount of days with my dick in my pants, my hands… whatever, Sophia. As you damn well know, I am not a good person. But how? Do you mean besides the death of my son B III? And there’s the fact that I can’t call Virgil that. Some say that makes me “normal,” not referring to a dog as my child. I couldn’t read “Buried Deep in Our Hearts.” No worries… (which I haven’t said in a “long, long time”); I will sometime soon. Thursday though… Well, we’ll get to that. What about my boy, though? Virgil’s here. Do I treat him like Braxton or “The New Guy?”

Speaking of movies from 2002… Sigh, to think I had such “promise,” Lady Sophia. Nope! But what about Braxton’s book? Or any of the books that I’ve written, to be honest. There’s even all these conversations that we’ve been having. The “Tales” have only just begun, Soph, as far as my writing goes. How do I describe how I feel about it? It’s bad, okay. Hell! It is somewhere between Mike Enslin in 1408. And Leo Biederman in Deep Impact. Endings. If there is one semi-good thing about today, I’m not feeling suicidal desperation now. Don’t get me wrong, like the song “Teen Idle,” I’m “Feeling super, super (super!) suicidal.” But that’s an everyday thing for me. Again being honest

Only there are so many things to read, Sophia. Suppose I stick with the 50/30/20 Rule. I was drawn to it this morning. Sometimes I think these ideas are all messages from my little B, ha-ha. And sometimes, it’s a crappy Kindle challenge. As I said, the book I was reading was starting to piss me off. And the challenge had a quick read on it Ark by Veronica Roth. Divergent? The last thing I need to think about. Sigh, Shailene Woodley’s tits on this AM. Spend money on books, not boobies, isn’t that right, Lady Sophia. Because shopping on a Saturday is, as Todd would put it, “No Bueno.” Life without Braxton’s the same. Again Virgil’s here. But you know, Virgil Has No B.

887 Days Without B III, Day 328 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 005 ~BIII Of Procrastination Virgil~

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I’ll do anything to avoid getting out of bed. Yet I’m procrastinating when it even comes to that. “Success, no, I should be playing “Lazy Ass.” Heaven’s where you find it. Still rather be with my boy. But to honor him? BIII Of Procrastination Virgil.

Thursday, July 06, 2023

Tale 005 ~BIII Of Procrastination Virgil~

886 Days Without B III, Day 327 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Since I’m Time Traveling, I’ll give anything for this day not to begin. You know.

Meditation? Hell! I remember when all that entailed was coming back to the house, scooping you up, and falling to bed. Yeah, that’s called sleeping. I think. And I’m lying. There was that time I had a subscription to Brainbuddy. Something I couldn’t tell you. To be honest, it’s tough talking to you now. I would rather be doing anything else like I was yesterday evening. I miss you so damn much. Your pictures Braxton, getting a tattoo, and all the stuff I still have yet to buy in 886 days. I’m lazy, broke, or depressed. Take your pick. All of the above. So many effing excuses. What about Virgil, you ask? I don’t know what to do B. Procrastination? Braxton, did I almost say, like father, like son? Never!

Both of those are pretty awful. If I’m being honest. To claim Virgil feels like I’m adding to my Treachery. If I don’t? Then why did I bother bringing him with me 327 days ago? Braxton, today is Tuesday, July 4, 2023, Independence Day. A bad day for dogs. Well, a lot of furry companions. You weren’t fond of it. We would sit cuddled together as we waited for the world to explode. That makes me like everyone else. Doesn’t it? Waiting, procrastinating, obsessing over everything. Even now, Virgil’s shaking against my leg B. I hope I can wait to move him for a while. He just wants to be comforted. So I hope. Braxton, that’s the mistake I made with you. I thought you were annoying. Sick? No, dying.

That Thursday, I knew I had to get you to a Doc, and for what? Like father, like son. You made the boatman wait a little longer. Didn’t you, my prince? Procrastinating unto death. A thought. I’m doing the same. Yesterday I cleared out my inbox and dumped my pictures. And I even got around to reorganizing the desktop and for what. Conversations? Well, better known as writing to Inspector Echo. And to you. Madness, rage, effing hatred. But, never towards you or the girls but at myself. If it isn’t the world ending. It’s seeing these people being motivated, making money, their marriages, and making babies. “Here comes success.” Sending me a song already? Asking, better telling Virgil and me; BIII Of Procrastination Virgil.

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 004 ~Letters B To V~

WillLeave a comment

How long will getting B’s name etched on my arm take? B R A… I wish I could say I’ve been busy. Sleeping or organizing… and no, I don’t mean Braxton’s pictures. And what about V? I can’t tell him anything. But these words (sigh). Letters B To V.

Wednesday, July 05, 2023

Tale 004 ~Letters B To V~

Forgive Me, Echo,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And yet I couldn’t spell Billionaire without help. And Tale? Monday, June 26, 2023… For now…

That’s when I began speaking to you right this second. By the time you read this, I hope I’m still calling these conversations Tales. I won’t finish today because… Mathematics. Ask me how long it took me to do the math on what day it was today. “I feel STUPID!” I’ve been getting that a lot these days. And yet I read every day. I’ve told you before. I’m still not any wiser. Hell! I wonder what I’m reading now. A damn Kindle Challenge, ha? I need to try reading about the money that’s in the bank. Oh! WWE Money in the Bank, Echo. How do I believe those stories? Or how bullies get what they deserve in the end. So excited I hit Braxton…

Have I told you about that E? I was watching YouTube and swinging around everywhere. One more thing to apologize to Braxton for. And what about Virgil? Where’s V anyway? I forgot how to be a Dad. But what I’m ashamed of the most… at least today. Uh, the porn? You know that’s my thing Echo. If only I got paid for it… But no. It’s been all about burning cash or trying not to. Then again, I am time-traveling. Emails, bitcoin, the future? Anyway, I was trying to do something… and as I was telling Braxton this afternoon. Uh, there’s freedom, being free, and that is something these people never said. My ignorance. Sometimes it surprises even me. Listening with the wrong head… Always

And the right one? It’s telling me to get out of bed and get a life instead of this existence.

I’m right back here. It’s as if I haven’t moved a muscle. Coming back to you, it’s now Tuesday, July 4, 2023. Happy Independence Day! What is one holiday I celebrate? Is there even one? I cry or seek comfort; once upon a time, there was one where I conned people. Can I call it that? Like calling it Emergence, Existence, or Extinction Day? You can guess which one of those I want. To be a Dad, get a life, or like the song “Make Me Wanna Die,” hmm. That’s nothing I can tell my boys, my “friends.” But the words. Letters B To V

885 Days Without B III, Day 326 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 001 ~BIII Of Time, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Day one, 365 Tales to Tell. If I don’t end up angry and kill somebody. And arrested for… I could always fall asleep in a heartbeat. Much like my son did. The time we had together and Virgil’s been here how long. I’m still older. BIII Of Time, Virgil.

Sunday, July 2, 2023

Tale 001 ~BIII Of Time, Virgil~

To Will:
I AM a Billionaire right now. But how long will it take you? Here we are —the first day of a new year.

Care? Well, I didn’t think so. But to be fair, this is on both of us, considering what time you went to bed. It was early in the morning, sometime around 1:00. What gives? Effing? Don’t you wish? If only I could have been doing something productive. If not… Crying? Hell! You’ll become a billionaire around the same time you forget about your lost boy. To forget about Braxton… “And after I pull off that miracle, maybe I’ll go punch out God.” That’s from Sin City, in case you were wondering. Yeah, looking up the words to some movie led to… Well, maybe we should stick to the subject of time. The first day of “Tales,” and how many for, you know, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Looking for Alaska by John Green
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 007 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And speaking of tales… More like the two novels about your boy. There’s the feeling that someone is watching you. Hell! You just woke up. How many crimes could you have possibly committed? Only I’m not talking about the ones in naughty stories you write. Yeah, you remember. Today is the second day of Camp NaNoWriMo, and you haven’t thought of explaining “your” world. There’s also editing. Or look at it this way. You could eat your words if you got published sometime this week. You’ll eat your words anyway. Yesterday was my last day to eat well. You’ll have quite the time this week worrying about money. I spent everything yesterday and all for you. Do I love you? Yeah, like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Deciding…
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 007 No Fap) Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You’re always around, and I hate your guts. But we’ll still be Freakin’ Friends. Right? Imagine a day when everything on this list gets done, and then what. “Well, that’s the good part, I guess. You get to go find a new dream….” You’ll finish this list when you’re done being a pop culture whore. I mean, when you just quoted Tangled. I mean, damn. Or should you say damned? When will you take it upon yourself to get out of this existence? The food poisoning a couple of weeks back. Killing you. Time’s destruction. But again, here you are, wasting it. You want to have sex, sleep, or something to eat. And then what. Only a billion simoleons and then BIII Of Time, Virgil

882 Days Without B III, Day 323 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 365 ~Virgil, These Endings B…~

WillLeave a comment

Why aren’t I a billionaire yet… A millionaire, at least? It’s because I write like this after six years. It’s getting worse. “Lessons, Episodes, Logs, Gospels, Chronicles, Sagas,” what’s next, hmm. I don’t know. But tomorrow. “Virgil, These Endings B

Saturday, July 1, 2023

Saga 365 ~Virgil, These Endings B…~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now because that’s the way my existence… No. My life is supposed to end. Discovered immortality yet…

If I had Lady Lunalesca, I would have given it to my son. Well, enough of it because at the end of the day, “Who Wants To Live Forever?” Hell! I’d have said goodbye, Lunalesca. And that was last night. Anyway, back to my “point.” I would have given Braxton enough so that we would have gone together. The good death, as they say, and a perfect victory Lu. It even beats out what Tyrion said “Belly full of wine, girl’s mouth around my cock. But of course, we never saw him die, so we don’t know. And you would think I’d be better at this “last words thing” after reading “Looking for Alaska.” It’s only “The Closing Of The Year. How many is that…

Lesson, Episode, Log, Gospel, Chronicle, Saga. So six years? Yep, what a waste, Dear Lu. And all because my “friendship” ended with the Basic Bitch? I don’t know anymore, ha. I’m not going back to read all that, either. Funny how I expect other people to want to at all. And no, that’s not me complaining like on TIBU. Do you remember that? This Is By Us? If I could do it all over again… Hell! I have too much to do today. Ending existence… I’ve said before my aunt had me all wrong about me wanting to destroy everything. Lunalesca, ask me why I dream of an apocalypse, then. “Whoever saves one life saves the world entire.” Schindler’s List, the Talmud, Pop Culture Whore.

“That’s Me!” that’s from Ask Ashley. “I’ll miss the start as long as I’m here at the end.” That’s from the movie Troy. And “all of it. It’s all true.” I’ve saved a life… As effed up as I am, I’m still here. And while this is the end of another “writing” year. Still breathing. And with these breaths, what do I have to say for myself? Well, other than yelling at Virgil to show some courage. As always, he is not my son. Now that’s a last word Lunalesca. Braxton. To say my son’s name. Now that’s a fitting end, Lu. To take a life is to destroy the world entire. Better worlds… never, other, alternative. Words to speak before… Virgil, These Endings B…

881 Days Without B III, Day 322 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 364 ~Dying To B Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I was dying to talk about something… but now I’m living to or for… Hell! I only exist, but I wonder if Braxton… there I go again. I meant, does Virgil think he’s living the life. Maybe if I mowed the lawn. There are bodies to hide. Dying To B Virgil.

Friday, June 30, 2023

Saga 364 ~Dying To B Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
I AM a Billionaire right now. So I can lie here all day. Or identify as a dog. Going Titanic diving, hmm…

Is that in poor taste? Bad form? I would say I’m just “Doing Me.” You know I’m just doing my thing. Hell! As if I know about any of that. Boy, Braxton, big-breasted babes… “Bodies Bodies Bodies,” and no, Lady Sophia. I haven’t seen the movie, but it gives me ideas. I should watch Spontaneous again, along with this movie and Looking for Alaska. I finished the book yesterday. Was Alaska’s death an accident or a suicide, Lady Sophia? All I know is this one story I keep telling myself about Braxton. My little boy was murdered. And I guess it’s hard to type with all the blood on my hands. And with other crimes… If I become a billionaire, I won’t start trophy hunting.

My furry little boy was enough for me. But “The Most Dangerous Game…” Uh, yeah… Did I say I wanted to hunt human beings for sport? The world, my writing… WAR… Lady Sophia, I hope I can pick a better word than “Bawitdaba.” Only with my luck, like I can attest today. I didn’t mean to write any of this dribble at all. Zombies, friend. Namely, a zombie apocalypse is what I want to rant about, to read, and the rage I have felt at myself these past few days. To choose death over everything, including despair. The only time I have despaired over death was, again, losing Braxton. But how best to love me more? That’s what I was thinking yesterday. To love me?

I think to myself that Braxton would rather die than see me unhappy. But then again, he would instead live than see me unhappy. That’s why he fought death for so damn long, Lady Sophia. I say that my indifference killed him. But as he lay dying… nothing but love. I’m in love with death, My Lady. In particular, that of my dog, the decisions of a damned world, and every orgasm my dick provides me. Let the apocalypse come. Inevitable, am I right? The end and a sex joke. Again this did not go at all how I figured. At least it kept me from talking about, well… I spoke of Alaska Young’s death. Tomorrow? One more year of writing. Dying To B Virgil

880 Days Without B III, Day 321 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 363 ~Virgil, We’ll B Free~

WillLeave a comment

If I wanted freedom, I’d have followed my son. I wish there had been a button… Something like Sonia Levitin’s “The Cure.” To be recycled with my twin, brother, best friend, and kid. When he was free, I asked what have I become? “Virgil, We’ll B Free”

Thursday, June 29, 2023

Saga 363 ~Virgil, We’ll B Free~

879 Days Without B III, Day 320 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You know me. “It’s “Times Like These,” I want to wrap around you and sleep.

Fucking Hell! Pardon my language, Little B. It’s… well, I won’t say funny or fine. Nowhere near. So yeah FUCK is the correct word. It’s fucked up that I held you that Wednesday afternoon and fell asleep. Then on Sunday, January 31, 2021, I held you as you died. People would say you were euthanized. Put to sleep. I, with veterinarians, set you free. Talk about something I’m never going to let go. The moment I freed myself from the bed is the moment I… Again Baby B, I don’t know what to say. You’re not a burden, ever. Braxton, it’s like the holy rollers say, you know. Pick up your cross and follow Jesus. “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” You’re way better.

Only that doesn’t stop me now. Does it? You know what I mean. When you were locked in your room because you did wrong. Or when I was in the shower in the morning. Getting it all out of my system is better because that’s the only alone time I would get. Right? After the Day Job, I’d be way too tired. And you’d get pissed if I showered at night B III. Hell! I was going to the movies, and sometimes I would even bring your Aunt. Speaking of which, you should go check on her and bring her lost fur babies. If you’ve met…, she’s having a hard time. It’s freedom she doesn’t want to have. Free of love… That can’t be, B.

This brings me back to you. I can be free of my grief and still love you… It’s like I’m Brooks Hatlen. I’m free, but I don’t know how to start over. Will was here, then what? Fucking porn addict! Like I wasn’t before? But with Virgil afraid to leave your room. And didn’t I mention how long I stay in bed? Even now, time travel. Monday, June 26, 2023. Little B, the fucking Day Job, man! That’s something I’ll never be free of; I’m afraid to say B. Institutionalized. A strange way to say employed. Euthanized? Spell “Freed” Braxton. Wasn’t writing going to do that? How about finding Virgil? Big ole’ titties? I’m hopeless! My freedom was keeping you. Now? Virgil, We’ll B Free

Always and Forever,
Your Dad