Tag: Lazy

Meditation 188 ~An Honest B Virgil~

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I got a well-deserved D in a Math class long ago. I cheated on a few French tests and got A’s and B’s. And then I got caught. However, I haven’t used THAT Math, and I can’t speak French, but being positive… I graduated. But life? “An Honest B Virgil”

Sunday, January 5, 2025

Meditation 188 ~An Honest B Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And the only person you should be judging. I can’t stress this enough. Just a fact. Positive…

You’re gonna be positive. And yes, you know the word is Popular. As you know, that song has been everywhere from Wicked. Like B’s recommendations. The song “Popular” is not one of them. But there is also Squid Game 2. Indeed, the popular things of this day and age. More importantly, they’re honest. What about you? You’re an honest man…

Well, this is our first time talking in the new year. So how do you feel? Oh, the tears, hmm? You’re tired, but you have a bed. Everything has to have a positive spin. Inevitably…

You’ll be sad again. You should start your resolutions on Monday, February 3, 2025. Braxton? At the moment. It looks like you’ll repeat the day. Like failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING It Can’t Happen Here – Sinclair Lewis (dystopian political novel)
    Failed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 008 No Fap)*
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Just the facts. And here’s another one. Being positive isn’t on any list for the new year, friend. Not a resolution or an Impossible Thing. So why bother? Popularity… Popular.

You’re not putting that in Braxton’s playlist. You’re more inclined to add the Squid Game 2 Version of “Fly Me To The Moon.” Would that make you popular? But in all honesty…

Do you know what’s not popular? Complaining about life, crying over Braxton, and talking about all the women that make you cream your pants when you’re wearing any.

I only bother when Virgil needs to go outside or get food. That’s another thing as well. Stop being such a crabby pants when speaking on Virgil. At this rate, he’ll make Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING It Can’t Happen Here – Sinclair Lewis (dystopian political novel)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 008, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

There’s also the fact that you don’t need to bring up cash, the house’s current state, and the country’s sad state in two weeks. And the company you call a Day Job. Am I saying don’t be a C-Student? You should be so lucky. And once again, the facts. You have to be positive, which is the only advice. But is that being honest starting this year? Don’t I wish.

Somehow. I don’t know how, but yes, somehow. LIE. A lie can be positive… Enough.

However, the question is, how do you look at yourself? A good student doesn’t make a happy person. Learning to say you’re happy is a positive thing. And biggest falsehood.

When said enough… Don’t finish that. An Honest B Virgil.

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face – forever” George Orwell, 1984

1435 Days Without B III, Day 876 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 185 ~Braxton’s Promising Rhymes Virgil~

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“This isn’t too bad…” I’d tell B after anything I wrote. B couldn’t read, or could he if his looking down on my t-shirts was a sign. But he’s not looking down on me now… He wants me to follow through with writing. “Braxton’s Promising Rhymes Virgil.”

Thursday, January 2, 2025

Meditation 185 ~Braxton’s Promising Rhymes Virgil~

1432 Days Without B III, Day 873 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I promise to be positive, I promise to be positive, I promise to be positive!

Yes, those are tears in my eyes, B. I’m only tired… mostly. And the day hasn’t even begun yet. Does it start from my first breath at midnight? Does it begin with eyes wide open?

You know we’re coming back to that. The first song you sent this morning, Braxton. Creed’s, With Arms Wide Open. But anyway, we’re talking about how the day begins, B.

Is it when I do something like go to the Day Job? Again, I promise you, little B III, positivity. It could be the day’s beginning, which is actually my DECOMPRESSION. When I give myself fifteen minutes rushing back to bed after I return and Make The World Go Away.

Obviously, with your musical selections today. Tupac, though, “rapped” this. However, with you B:

I feel his (paw) on my brain. When I write rhymes, I go blind and let (my son) do his thang

And speaking of all the music. There are so many things I need to do at the beginning of the year. For example, what will be the first song I play on Spotify? Something positive…

How about something promising? That’s Creed for ya. But you were a “happy” accident when you became my son. I’m sure you knew about your brother before I ever did.

And with Virgil’s Gotcha Day, I need to take off from the Day Job at the end of the month. A day to honor you, my son. And that leads me to what I’ve been thinking of a bit, B.

“What can I do to get me to you?” I swear you know your music as much as I sang. Obviously, that’s Steve Conte’s “Call Me Call Me.” Anything but positive. But I am trying.

And in my quest to make our future bright, I made a promise to you. I promised to become an author, to buy a big house with a massive yard for you to guard. And in this house, we would be so far from the hustle and bustle of the world, except for your honorary aunt. And of course, I promised you two-legged siblings too.

You’d be an Old Man saying, I’m getting too old for this (stuff). Promises, Resolutions. Like Master Yoda, “Do or do not. There is no try.” If… when I succeed in building you Heaven, Paradise, and Elysium, you will return. But positivity… You never left me. Braxton’s Promising Rhymes Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 181 ~Can’t B Done, Virgil~

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The fact that I came down the stairs on a bum leg to talk to myself, knowing I won’t paid, is a miracle. I kill myself at the Day Job for what I believe is BS. But next year, I want to know I’m doing something as I sit here. Can’t B Done, Virgil

Sunday, December 29, 2024

Meditation 181 ~Can’t B Done, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And what can I say as we look at each other one last time? You made it…

I wish I had been kinder to Ladies Lunalesca and Sophia. There is also Inspector Echo, and especially Braxton. Oh! You just realized what you sounded like. The date, friend.

But the only number you were thinking about when you woke up was three. Seriously. Two of them, as in thirty-three percent, you need to read today to stay on track. And close out this year with the novel It Can’t Happen Here. Which brings me to today’s question, friend. Can it be done? So let it be written. So let it be done. Are you to be a pharaoh?

At present, you have no idea what you’re going to do with the new year. Hell! This year, I haven’t accomplished these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And I had one extra day since it was a leap year. I got two, maybe three at a stretch. And with this being our last conversation. You will already admit that you failed number six. You don’t have the money for number five. And the others… You can’t keep writing these things down and not doing anything with them. Shall that be my advice to you today? You looked over your New Year’s Resolutions from previous years. How close did you come to accomplishing any of them? Should you let Braxton Barks choose them?

What about your Dear Future Wife? How you wish you were one for planning, brother.

You can come up with the simplest things. But still, there’s these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING It Can’t Happen Here – Sinclair Lewis (dystopian political novel)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Knowledge is stronger than belief. Again, you wish you were one for having a plan. As you have the words of 55 books at your disposal. 56 if you can finish before Wednesday, ha-ha. It depends on the Yabbos and levels of intimacy. Eww! Can you stop? Yes. But Will?

Will you stop? There are so many things you can do. But will you? Or, as Yoda put it. Uh.

“Do or do not. There is no try.” Master Yoda

People nowadays are all about, LET’S GO! You’ve gone back and forth on Battle Cries…

Do It For B III
Do It For Your Son
Whatever You Do, Do It For Braxton Barks Bradford Will
Always And Forever For Braxton
May Braxton Be With You
Anything And Everything For Braxton

Can 2025 be done? Will you? Can’t B Done, Virgil

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face – forever” George Orwell, 1984

1428 Days Without B III, Day 869 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 178 ~B’s Bad Day, Virgil~

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It’s sad to say I had better days when B III was sitting on my head, and I couldn’t breathe. Now I hit the snooze button and hope I’m not breathing in 15. Christmas spirit indeed… Don’t check my “OF.” Such are the times, the days. B’s Bad Day, Virgil

Thursday, December 26, 2024

Meditation 178 ~B’s Bad Day, Virgil~

1425 Days Without B III, Day 866 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? It is 4:10 PM. So my day… Well, I didn’t share it with your brother.

Though Virgil is asleep at the foot of the bed. He still stays off your corner. And your bed, B? I don’t even worry about it. Your scent lingers, Braxton. If Life Finds A Way…

However, there’ll be more on that later. How was my day? It was a bit of a rollercoaster, B. Some parts were horrible, some were terrible, and some were just plain stupid. But I’m here, and I’m thinking of you.

Let’s start with standing in the Walmart parking lot in the rain and thinking weirdly. Usually, they start at the Day Job and come out fully cooked coming back. And speaking of fully cooked, we need to talk about Christmas too. Seeing your grandparents, B.

Anyway. Here is the thought: I’ve never had three good days in a row. Before. With. And even after you. Comedy comes in threes, right? But evil is infinite B…

And you, my son, were my Langolier. Where do I keep getting these nicknames I never called you in life? I swear I should read a Stephen King novel. Not that I regret reading Brave New World, 1984, and apparently the appendix edition of Fahrenheit 451. And I want to waste more money on Satan’s Sorority Girls 8, Ryan and His Beauties 2, and Bikini Sunset. And I still have to read, It Can’t Happen Here” What, a good day?

Again, three good ones in a row. But what counts as a good day in my eyes? One, where I don’t mind opening them. Even if you were sitting on my head. No homo, as Todd would say. One where dropping dead is No Bueno.

But let’s sum up yesterday… I visited your grandparents for Christmas and sat with your great-grandma. I didn’t talk much and let your little brother take the heat. I filled up two to-go boxes… three if you were here and left. Then I took Christmasy pictures, you shouldn’t see. Eww.

And today? I went to the Day Job and had to lead a guy around as we made Christmas disappear and got doused in green glitter. I got hit in the face, my leg is hurting again, and of course, Humiliations Galore. Humiliated at Walmart, robbed, and a nap later…

And here we are. Needless to say, I don’t wanna go to work. Friday is gonna be effed. There’ve been worse. B’s Bad Day, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 174 ~Virgil’s And Braxton’s Gifting~

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All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth. Sorry. What I meant to say was that I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas. No. I don’t want to feel like Rudolph the other 364 days of the year. It’s why I have my *sons*. “Virgil’s And Braxton’s Gifting”

Sunday, December 22, 2024

Meditation 174 ~Virgil’s And Braxton’s Gifting~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And are you here again? Right here, right now. Well, you couldn’t breathe right this morning. sigh.

You thought you were getting sick. No. Sick is talking about Cherry in a certain type of way, my friend. What? When somebody asks you to describe a fantasy or what you want for Christmas. Like me, you rather not think about it. That’s the thing about needing to breathe. When you can’t, nothing else seems to matter. I dreamt about Braxton’s passing last night. Is that what woke you up? I was watching him take his last breath. Mine?

At that moment, I would have joined him. But that wasn’t the case. You woke up a mouth breather. And all you wanted was to feel better, to stop bouncing to thoughts of Cherry and breathe normally again. To what? Fail these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING 1984 by Mr. George Orwell
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Tis the season not to do this. To feel jolly or whatever. Can you even hear the Fa-la-la-la-la? You can’t win ’em all. You can breathe somewhat normally. And your leg is feeling pretty better. Your ear is still on the fritz, though. And Christmas is full of noise, friend.

But not friend Virgil. What are you getting him from Christmas? What is Virgil getting you? Less time outside… Virgil dislikes the cold. So, he does his business reasonably quickly. And he saved you fifty bucks, To his detriment. To yours? Father Christmas, you’re not.

And what about Braxton? After all this time, that boy keeps your eyes properly hydrated. And with your crying, you can blow your nose. Someday At Christmas Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

By the way, how annoying is that song, Someday At Christmas? And then there’s Happy Christmas. I’m sure people wouldn’t complain if wars ceased on Any Given Sunday. Ha-ha! And there are homeless people every day. The lowest, poorest, hungriest, sickest, saddest, and even the stupidest. Why wait till Christmas to dole out the favors?

And you’re the angriest, horniest, and you would take a bit of self-control anytime, anywhere.

That’s another gift from my boys. And again, what can I give them? What can you give yourself? You’ll be pressed to even accomplish number one on your Christmas list.

Making it to the dining room table or the recliner would be a Christmas miracle…

Your boys give reason, purpose, existence… Virgil’s And Braxton’s Gifting

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face – forever” George Orwell, 1984

1421 Days Without B III, Day 862 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 171 ~Virgil’s Booking Pain Braxton~

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I haven’t read the books I wrote for or with my son in ages. And the book I’m reading now… It’s going to hurt. I’m preparing for the U.S.A. next year. Remember, Winston was thirty-nine, and I’m forty. No B III, no Julia. Virgil’s Booking Pain Braxton

Thursday, December 19, 2024

Meditation 171 ~Virgil’s Booking Pain Braxton~

1418 Days Without B III, Day 859 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Seeing as how I’m sitting in bed on Wednesday evening. And I’m still counting scars…

Well, different forms of PAIN anyway. Earlier this week, I discussed having a headache, bum ear, and aching leg. You can add a stomachache to the mix. Whether that’s from letting you down, thinking about tomorrow/today, or 1984… It’s all a mess, Braxton. The usual.

But it sucks even more when you know what’s going to happen. Only packing the car with your things hurts more than Winston and Julia being arrested by the Thought Police. That scene… I’m getting into George Orwell’s novel, huh? If I were, I wouldn’t be tearing up today. As always, Braxton, whenever something gets me upset, I think of the worst day of our “lives,” and here I am, still alive. But who knows what horrors tomorrow will bring.

If I were smart, I’d get the Winston and Julia arrest out of the way and focus on the Ministry of Love. It would prepare me for the Day Job. And if only I would publish one of our novels already. Tuesday, M Anime messaged me about, Nightmare At The Meat Market. I was so dedicated to it back in November. And how many stories did you watch me write that amounted to nothing? I last sat at the Dining Room table a few weeks ago. Or even sitting in the recliner reading while listening to some 1984 Ambience, B III. Again, I’ve been reading worse things. The bank account, pill bottles, and a grocery list. I swear that scares me more than my writing.

But what about Virgil’s story. Talk about the Ministry of Love. He comes scrambling out of your room like he’s seen a ghost… Did I say that, Braxton? You haven’t been haunting him as he’s desperate to get in here with me. If he knew how to use training pads.

You’ve seen that he does, but he won’t step into your spot, which brings us back to money and what I should be buying. No, not more dystopian books. Christmas, Harems, Pet Loss, Training, everything under the sun. Like me sleeping at noon every day? What about how to be a better parent? And you’re a Big Brother, aren’t you? But we are the dead.

Not me, but being so brokenhearted. Virgil’s Booking Pain Braxton

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 167 ~Virgil’s Holiday Spirit, B~

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I need to start thinking of a Christmas list. More spirits are listening now than on Halloween and the day Braxton was Euthanized. Santa, ghosts, loved ones, etc. Because when I tell myself what I want, well… Hello, “Virgil’s Holiday Spirit, B”

Sunday, December 15, 2024

Meditation 167 ~Virgil’s Holiday Spirit, B~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Can you see me? Not Braxton out of the corner of your eye. The man in bed…

And definitely, not all the pictures you took of yourself thinking you could make money.

Onlyfans? That’s the last place you need to be with no money. But why were you so late this morning? Uh, Blacked and such pretty, pretty girls Christmas giving, receiving…

Comes but once a year… Eww! Can you stop? If you could only stop looking at Yabbos the way you look at Cherry’s Wish List. Or buying M Anime some Blacked clothing. And what does Braxton’s Aunt want for Christmas? You haven’t forgotten your mother?

https://vixenbrand.com/collections/blacked/products/blacked-bralette

Birthdays are the worst. Correction, your Emergence Day is the worst. Everyone else is okay with theirs. But you don’t want to see the future. Your broken future. George Orwell?

The past? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

If you’re looking for one more thing to fail, how about wasting money? Buying George Orwell’s 1984 cost a pretty penny. But the last thing you need is to remember that a month from now, you’ll owe somebody money, namely Kindle. They have holiday spirit.

Do you know why everyone has holiday spirit? Because they’re killing themselves trying to keep up with everything this season. Hell, with your Day Job, you see more zombies, vampires subsisting on coffee, people former ghosts of themselves, and spirits than on Halloween. The Nightmare Before Christmas. So, what are you doing at Christmas time?

Again, there are no Christmas romances. I started 1984 yesterday. You’ve avoided the entirety of Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas Is You. Yeah, like these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING 1984 by Mr. George Orwell
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

At this rate, I have to ask. Do you even have the spirit of a man? You have been awake for nine hours and have already failed number six. You need the money for five. You were fighting number four. Number three’s in limbo, always and forever. I swear, dude…

Number two… Well, she doesn’t look like Braxton. And Gee Whiz, it’s Christmas. Or it will be in a week. And you will do nothing because you can do nothing. You’re the John Wick of your dreams. Baba Yaga, if you will. And number one… 1984 is a big book. However, to see your future… Look! Now get the eff out of my sight. Such is Virgil’s Holiday Spirit, B

“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face – forever” George Orwell, 1984

1414 Days Without B III, Day 855 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 164 ~Braxton, Try WARMING Virgil~

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Global Warming, Climate Change… I haven’t worn a coat because I’m always angry at people. Or I’m humiliated. I should erase my browser history, etc.… I’m always taking the heat. And with what happened to my son. Braxton, Try WARMING Virgil.

Thursday, December 12, 2024

Meditation 164 ~Braxton, Try WARMING Virgil~

1411 Days Without B III, Day 852 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? How many days did I come back burning up? Angry? Humiliated? Sick? Far too many…

And today? Well, your Dad’s no chef. I’m still burning money, paper, and sheets, Braxton.

I hope you weren’t watching that. And what about Virgil? He’s trying to get warm. All by his lonesome. And I’m crying, so I best not go outside lest my tears freeze. It’d be practice.

Do you know which is the coldest Circle in Hell? The Ninth Circle. That’s Treachery. Again, my boy, anytime I’m having a hard time, I remember what I have survived… I lost you, Braxton. It makes everything else pale in comparison. So because the Day Job burned me up, I could go for some tears. But what brought them on. A Dog’s Purpose, B III. Braxton, I’m not reading it… Again, I mean. Or watching.

At least if you were here, I wouldn’t feel as bad about burning daylight. Wasting my time. It’s so much better writing a novel about four individuals trying to set the world on fire. That’s one thing about never getting published. I won’t allow someone to burn my book. I should be so lucky. To earn a paycheck for doing something that I… Love, Braxton.

That’s one more thing that burns me up. My jealousy while watching all these dog channels. And watching these families become rich and famous. I hid you from the world.

However, I take a picture of Virgil every day. He feels the sunshine, sleeps in soft sheets, and stays warm… for now. Yet he wonders why I’m always so cold.

When I’m getting hot over every woman who’s not even close to being your stepmother. When I’m stewing over every mistake. When I know I’m cooked. And I can’t do anything to save myself or Virgil. I told myself at the Day Job that I thought your purpose was to get me into Heaven. If God smiled down on me for anything, it would be because I was your Daddy. Heaven’s Light in comparison to Hellfire. Yet, Virgil’s thriving, somehow.

He has to guide me through the Inferno. But where am I now? In some story awaiting the fire? Melting away on the floor? Sweating over some girl’s picture? Daylight is a wastin’ Braxton. And when the sun rises once more… Braxton, Try WARMING Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 160 ~A Break Braxton, Virgil…~

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Ending is better than mending… Guess what I’ve been reading. Braxton wasn’t something; he was someone. Like Virgil? And he couldn’t be fixed. Virgil was “broken” in a way. And myself. My bank account. And I’m taking breaks. “A Break Braxton, Virgil…”

Sunday, December 8, 2024

Meditation 160 ~A Break Braxton, Virgil…~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And do you think you should clean it? One more thing for the to-do list. Another list…

Like another puppy? How is that working out for you? Like father, like son. Someone. Because Virgil ain’t Braxton. Oh! Why so mean this morning? It’s not like Brave New World isn’t crammed with bullies. But aren’t I a bully? Thou art a villain. But the week has only just begun, and the first question that came to mind was, Are You Happy Now? Seriously?

The last thing you need is to start fawning over one more dark-haired girl. Acting like your Stuff & Thang ain’t never seen a woman. What must Braxton’s Aunt think of you when you sent her the first three chapters of Nightmare At The Meat Market. M Anime liked the title. But what I don’t like? Failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Heartache of Pet Loss
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 036, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

At least I’m back to finishing books. And you’ve finally started your end of the world, dystopia, and evil government arc. It’s like you’re living in your own literary world, right? Well, come January with Trump. Define interesting… Oh, God, oh, god, we’re all gonna die. Making the list: Brave New World, 1984, Fahrenheit 451, and It Can’t Happen Here.

Amazon still thinks you’re breaking tradition by suggesting several Christmas “Romances” and books about broken hearts over pet loss. B needed a break from you.

Inevitably, everyone does. Why look into a dog’s eyes when you can stare at Yabbos?

Before the phone “broke…” ran out of juice, whatever you saw, a yearly recap that was all Virgil’s eyes and several pairs of Yabbos. Even a video that Cherry wouldn’t appreciate… While you’re doing that, there are Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

And you can’t seem to Break On Through To The Other Side. I broke that coffee mug yesterday. It was your phone today. And your bank account… check the refrigerator.

Hell! What about your body? Winston Smith didn’t have Soma. You have a bottle full of painkillers. If you want any advice from me… All you need is one unless you plan on joining B. And that boy deserves his retirement. As if he did. B is better than Spotify.

But what does Virgil do? Well, if you gave him a chance… Now that should go on Six Impossible Things. Only the list isn’t broken. It’s you, hi, you’re the problem, it’s you. A broken thing. Braxton tried. But you’re liberal. A Break Braxton, Virgil…

1407 Days Without B III, Day 848 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 157 ~B’s Are Unfortunate Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

How can one be so unfortunate? The death of a child. Wow! That’s dark. And Braxton was grown… in dog years. But I’m forty, scared to death (I wish) that my father is going to beat my ass for failing math. Am I out of bucks? B’s Are Unfortunate Virgil

Thursday, December 5, 2024

Meditation 157 ~B’s Are Unfortunate Virgil~

1404 Days Without B III, Day 845 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Judging by how late I am today… Even on a relatively good day. Three hours?

Only if I had used those hours on… I don’t know. One of “my” novels that doesn’t offend everyone. Or doing something on camera that offends everyone, and I hope you didn’t see. Yeah. And I could have stuck around at the Day Job to make more money. Virgil, B.

He’s not going to save himself. But then again, I couldn’t save you either. And most days, I don’t even want to save myself. For what? The highlights of my day were only having three hours at the Day Job. There was the McRib sandwich. And that was only because I couldn’t afford a Big Mac Meal. And then there was the nap I took that brings us to now.

How long is a nap?

Well, you’ve gone for The Big Sleep, took The Long Walk, went on The Last Ride. And as usual, I wish I could be right there with you. What? Did I wake up on the wrong side of the bed? It’s the fact that I woke up yet again. Unfortunate, isn’t it Braxton for Virgil?

Positivity. That Braxton, I leave to you. At present, I feel like that D student I was in summer school, knowing that it was enough to not have your grandpa beating my behind yet again. At worst, I’m Winston Smith from 1984, facing the mirror and being told I’m the last man. But as always, I remain your daddy. So how dare I dream of harming myself, hatred, and horniness…

That reminds me of when I was coming back. I was listening to my Spotify Wrapped 2024. And of all the songs that made this list, this is how I know you’re talking to me, B. Suddenly, I thought about It’s My Turn To Fly by The Urge. And call it coincidence (the urge). Ha-ha, I hear that song, Fat Bottomed Girls. I’m more for Yabbos… But Baby Got Back

It’s my turn to fly
I’m proving ground tonight
Try to be the best that I can
Grown to be a man
Only human can understand
I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!
It’s My Turn To Fly

Hey, listen here
Now, I got mortgages on homes
I got stiffness in my bones
Ain’t no beauty queens in this locality, I tell you
Oh, but I still get my pleasure
Still got my greatest treasure
Hey, big woman, you gonna make a big man of me
Now get this
Fat Bottomed Girls, Queen

Anyway, my point is I need a reason to… exist. And again, getting up on the wrong side of the bed. On one side, there’s your grave, B. On the other, the business of existence.

Braxton, I’d have more bucks, babes, and beds if only I had done better. And you… B’s Are Unfortunate Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad