Wednesday, October 29, 2025

Journey 120 ~Being Braxton Or Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And in the spirit of complete transparency, I’m going to sin some more. What am I, a ghost?

I’m a father who misses his son—a dad who can’t figure out the other one. And I ain’t a liar like the Cracker Hats of MAGA and all of the Trump Administration. FDT, Echo.

Anyway, as Edmond Dantes screams, “What’s my crime!” Screaming, my dear Inspector Echo. It took me putting up Christmas ornaments at the Day Job to remember that “This Is Halloween,” well, on Friday. And I keep getting off-topic —forgive me. I only have 150 words to be sad, sinful, and scary. So my sin… I’m sharing my fears as “Opportunities.”

But I’m not the “Pet Shop Boys” despite my two sons, Braxton and Virgil. Inspector? Today I wondered, would I rather be Frankenstein… Resurrecting Braxton. Or a Ghostbuster. Imprisoning Virgil.

“Fill my lungs with fear and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

Because death doesn’t frighten me, correction, my death doesn’t. This is not negativity but a fact. I suffered the loss of my firstborn son. And my second-born’s alive and well. So what FEAR am I facing again? The FEAR to LIVE. Without Braxton, Virgil, FEAR.

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
Franklin D. Roosevelt U.S. President

Inspector, it’s a wonderful thing that I can quote a good president. Another fact, FDT! Anyway, what else is there to life? Cliché as it is, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

Inspector, “If life’s a game made for everyone. Then love is the instruction.” Try it?

Inspector, am I afraid to love? Virgil Vivi, M Anime? I know I keep repeating myself, but “Love Is A Long Road” and “The Long Walk” for many weary souls.

And if anything, I’m afraid of how love. Again, I look to M Anime—my “ex-girlfriend,” Inspector Echo. Again, not negative, I’m only speaking the truth. The things I wanted to do to her. Indeed, to any woman I like. Oh, then there are my own kinks and fetishes too.

I do not FEAR success but power, as all wise men should. Every day, I see what I do with the bit of money I have. With enough money, 99 Problems vanish. What happens next?

Inspector, I could be living like my boys. But I heard once that satisfaction is the death of desire. And my desires? Many. Ten naked ladies like Hank Olson. Nothing is wrong, being me, for Halloween. Being Braxton Or Virgil

“A man chasing two rabbits ends up hungry; A wise man grows carrots.”
Stoics Meditations

1732 Days Without B III, Day 1173 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Wednesday, October 22, 2025

Journey 113 ~Braxton, Virgil, It’s Time~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Because I didn’t tell Braxton he was living his last day? And Virgil’s older now, FIVE. THIRTY-SIX Human?

I actually took the time to look that up, Inspector. Monday, I read something interesting.

“A man chasing two rabbits ends up hungry; A wise man grows carrots.”
Stoics Meditations

I’m glad I read something because, according to Kindle, I didn’t, as they dropped my 2,000-some odd-day reading streak. WTF! I’m sure I read on 2-V’s Birthday. I know it.

Anyway, the quote… It got me thinking about my writing, which doesn’t pay. The idea that I can become the Johnny Sins of AI… Again, that doesn’t pay either. I haven’t had a customer in a week. There’s reading, gaming, and a Social Media presence.

Inspector, I know that’s very funny. You should have seen how I humiliated myself at the Day Job. It pays, but not enough. There’s always time to make money. But not to be depressed. SIGH!

“Fill my lungs with fear and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

Okay, this isn’t negativity… Let’s call it goal setting. It’s like talking to Braxton, Inspector.

I need to write. But look at the quote above. I’m talking to you, the other girls, myself, Braxton, and I’ve even given him a voice. I want to work on my writing lifestyle, which means more novels that I WILL edit. I want to write snippets using “Magic Glasses.”

Echo, I haven’t been able to get Neil Bimbeau’s Magic Glasses series out of my mind these days. I even use the “idea” in everyday life. I imagine what I want to see. So yesterday I kept telling myself, “Pick up your feet, you’re better than this.” Or like Scarface:

“The world is yours.”
Scarface

So I’ve been reworking the world from a digital standpoint.

And then there’s everything else that doesn’t involve my boys, Braxton and Virgil. They always show up in my writing. And I’d kick them out when I’m having my “time.” But I’m still reading Backyard Dungeon 21, playing a few new mobile games, and socializing.

Inspector, I’m learning to manage money, and I should do the same with time, honestly.

Next week will be lucrative “Day Job-wise.” But it only drives me to pursue my many passions. That again begs the question, my “Passion.” “Money making is a wonderful thing.”

Nothing is wrong with being “Carmen Queasy” because we all could use more cash, Echo.

But I know you can’t buy time. We need “Time Enough At Last” like Henry Bemis. Braxton, Virgil, It’s Time

1725 Days Without B III, Day 1166 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Wednesday, October 15, 2025

Journey 106 ~To B Tired, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Besides losing my boy, which will always be number one, there are also being tired and side hustles.

First, TIRED! How the eff, or rather why the eff am I always so tired? I mean beat, bone-weary, and burned out. “So wear my soul and call me a liar. I dare you to.” But the last thing I can say is that I’m bored. Well, except for the Day Job. Ahem… Side Hustle?

Yesterday I got my first customer, $24.00 bucks. I said Ahem… I lost $25.00, Inspector.

My idiocy knows no bounds. I sent crypto to the wrong place. And then giving freebies, and trying to learn this new “craft” of mine. B would disapprove—Virgil’s sleeping.

Again, that’s what I want to do right now. But besides blue balling myself. Research… There are HaremLit books, and being a gamer. A boss…

“Fill my lungs with fear and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

But being tired also means being busy. This motivational speaker, Eric Thomas, would say plenty about sleep. “I don’t sleep when I’m Tired, I Sleep When I’m done.” Or what about, “If you’re going to be successful, you gotta be willing to give up sleep.” “Sleep is for those people who are broke. I don’t sleep.” That was 50 Cent, I believe, but it works.

Like bedsprings creaking (back in the day) or bouncing boobs, or rather Yabbos, Dear E.

Boys will be boys. And no, that’s not me being negative, sounding like a MAGA Cracker Hat and all. I’m only stating that bedroom antics can lead to buying power. Points, Pennies, all because of a guy’s… other dangling thing between his legs, Inspector Echo.

But I’m always trying to rise above that. My belly, bed, or my brain? I tell myself whenever I’m tired, “For Braxton, Always and Forever.” And I can’t forget that Virgil has a belly and brain too. And we sell soft beds at the Day Job. Virgil deserves the best.

Inspector, for that reason, again I remember my Braxton looking at me as if saying, “You’re The Best Around, Daddy.” I can keep my eyes open with an ’80s soundtrack.

And that right there is the trick to it. STAY WOKE. Keep my eyes open and on the prize, Inspector, no matter what happens. Because, as much as I admire B III, he earned peace.

So what. It’s “The Long Walk.” To B Tired, Virgil

1718 Days Without B III, Day 1159 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Wednesday, October 8, 2025

Journey 099 ~Braxton’s Crime, Virgil’s Time~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… But am I blaming Braxton? “Here And Now?” Never! My boy would have fought till Judgement Day. Hell!

On Judgment Day. Tomorrow, Braxton’s “great gettin’ up mornin'” Ragnarok? The Apocalypse? Inspector, my sin is that I pray for that. I mean, if I prayed. I still do not.

Inspector, I have religious’ friends,’ not to be confused with the MAGA Hats, Cracker Hats, or whatever. Eff Charlie Kirk and Eff FDT! Anyway, my friends believe in the power of prayer. I believe in the “Power Of Love.” Seriously, another Luther Vandross reference? Should I make an Apocalypse playlist? The only reason I believe in a life in the hereafter is because souls like my Braxton’s and Virgil’s don’t vanish into the void, Echo.

But every day I moan “A Change Is Gonna Come,” But today I’d prefer to write The End. “Will I?”

“Fill my lungs with fear and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

There is always so much music, Inspector Echo, to drown out the Chronomentrophobia and a coward’s excuses. As a great man once sang, “I’m Still Standing.” And another in the “In The Navy” said, “I’m still standing, I’m still strong. Is that a coincidence, Echo?

Elton John’s music and a movie on Antwone Fisher. And there are many other movies and shows that I still need to see, given the time I have with my Day Job, my dear Echo. Isn’t the world filled with such wonder and magic? And more books, more books, E.

Kindle is constantly reminding me of the quest for my knowledge. I am not MAGA.

Inspector, I am not a “Man of Constant Sorrow.” I am just a man leaving history to make its own judgments. For one day, MAGA will fall, and history will be told in its truth and entirety. Presently, I am a father of two furry little boys, Braxton and Virgil. My sons and my family. And let it never be said that I was Namor. Inspector, there’s time for love.

Always, if life is a game, then love is the instructions. Such actual games, Inspector. However, now is the time to set things right, now is the time to write. Not just listen, listen, but hear and understand that We Gon’ Be Alright. Me, Braxton, Virgil, and anyone else who sees. Braxton’s Crime, Virgil’s Time.

1711 Days Without B III, Day 1152 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Wednesday, October 1, 2025

Journey 092 ~Virgil’s Indifferent Ignorance Braxton~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Must I be so mean to Virgil? And when I think of Indifference and Ignorance, I remember this:

“This boy is Ignorance. This girl is Want. Beware them both…”
— A Christmas Carol (1843)

For Braxton’s sake, it’s only October. “Wake Me Up When September Ends.” Emergence Day has come and gone. What am I looking forward to? Virgil’s birthday is on the 20th.

And once again, I’m being a meanie because I’m not here to talk about Inspector.

Honestly, I want to talk about FEAR. Well, no. Especially not with a 150-word stipend.

“I can do this all day.”
Spoken by Captain America

Do I look like Captain America? If I’m Hulk in Marvel, I’m Sinestro in DC. Inspector, For What It’s Worth,” “It starts when you’re always afraid.” Every effing day, Inspector.

There is no way I can put it into words for you. “Being afraid all of the time,” even now.
Every second of every day. And like I chose Indifference, killing Braxton… Choosing Ignorance… Sigh

“Sounds like nothing serious, doesn’t it? You can’t know.”
Barclay

(I Take A Deep Breath)

I will not accept Indifference. I will take joy and happiness wherever they are found. There is music, movies, and manuscripts always to be enjoyed. There is good food and the love of my second-born son, Virgil. And the memory of his big brother, Braxton.

Inspector, I will don the courage that my son professed and strive to stand up for myself and for others against the evils of this world. I will be one to “Light Up The Darkness.”

Inspector, I will allow myself to feel everything. “I Feel Everything,” Love, Lust, and Lascivious. And I will not be ashamed of my desires. But I will take my “big sister’s advice as well from long ago. Time and place

Ignorance is never to be tolerated in my life. Even when I have no answers, I will acknowledge that something is wrong and I will endeavor to find an answer and to be courageous in accepting the consequences of my actions. Ignorance is MAGA, Inspector.

I will continue to read everything I can and never downplay any information I come across. Literature is to be treated as a noble pursuit regardless of reason. And in reading, I intend to become a much wiser human being for my boys and the family I wish to have “Someday,” my dear Inspector Echo.

With this knowledge, I plan to refine my writing craft. In this way, I will seek out a kingdom worthy of my soul and win, Inspector—Virgil’s Indifferent Ignorance Braxton.

1704 Days Without B III, Day 1145 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will