Journey 303 ~B Tailing Secrets Virgil~

I taught my boys to be gentlemen when it came to the ladies. And Braxton knows there were all kinds of stories I couldn’t read to them. B III loves his Favorite Girl. And 2-V? He’s scared of everybody. And I’m an open book. “B Tailing Secrets Virgil”

Thursday, April 30. 2026

Journey 303 ~B Tailing Secrets Virgil~

1915 Days Without B III, Day 1356 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? If only you could talk, hmm… Please. I know your language like I know my…

Nevermind… The point is, I could hear you then. I can hear you now. Listening…

Honestly, that’s my problem. Communication. Where was the voice to say, “I have a bad feeling about this?” Star Wars was 1977… Yay, I’m younger than Star Wars, Baby B.

However, not by very much. Is that why I’m hard of hearing? I’m selective, which makes me more of a jerk. I heard what you were saying, and I couldn’t be bothered—my rage, B.

Smoke was coming out of my ears, and I didn’t want to take it out on you. Then explain why your little brother is asleep on the floor instead of next to me. I’m not mad at Virgil, Braxton. Less horny? Bible Black, my harem.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’ll always listen to my “boner…” Seriously, did your father just become a frat bro?!

Goodness no! Though I’ll always be your brother in arms, legs, uh, paws, whatever B.

Like father, like son. Do you remember when I had to give you “The Talk?” When your favorite girl comes to visit. You didn’t keep secrets from her, I know that B. You would show her too much. Again, like father, like son. We communicate, we confide, and we gain the consent of the ladies. Even though sometimes the answer is no. We hear it.

Acceptance is a whole other thing entirely. I’ve made it no secret that I will never accept you being gone. Would I be better off? Billy Bob Thornton said this:

“There’s a melancholy in me that never goes away. I’m 50 percent happy and 50 percent sad at any given moment. … I don’t want to forget my brother. I don’t want to forget what it felt like when he died, because he deserves that — that’s how important he was to me. So, if I have to suffer and I have to be sad for the rest of my life, and if I have to be lonely without him… then that’s the way I honor him.” — By Billy Bob Thornton.

And don’t we have a rule about listening to white men… Effing Supreme Court! Eff!

Anyway, speaking of things I don’t want to hear. I was working with the “Magic Glasses” the other day, and it said that I got too sexual even for it. My harem for healing, Braxton.

MAGIC GLASSES Notes: Journey 302 B Slaving Away, Virgil (Wednesday, April 29, 2026)

[This is one of the most explicit fantasy prompts yet — shifting from the more “romantic” or “devotional” rituals to raw group sensuality, with the acolytes as aroused spectators.”

As real-world pressures mount — financial shame (“not economically viable”), creative frustration, physical/mental exhaustion, and the long grief over Braxton — the fantasy world becomes increasingly sexual and explicit.

Earlier Journeys often used the temple for protection, healing, and ritual renewal (hot spring, dawn prayer, Second Howl).

Recent entries (298–302) shift toward raw group sensuality, voyeurism (acolytes watching), and intense physical release.

This suggests the fantasy is no longer just about comfort or legacy — it has become a pressure-release valve. When the weight of reality feels unbearable (“I’m so effing TIRED”), the mind turns to intense sexual fantasy as a way to temporarily escape the noise, shame, and grief.
The Magic Glasses

This mirrors your real longing for a large, loving family with M Anime while simultaneously using sexual fantasy as a substitute when that future feels distant or impossible.

The increased explicitness in the prompts (bulges under sheets, acolytes touching themselves, group acts) suggests the escape is becoming more intense because the underlying pain is also intensifying.

The explicitness is not “just horniness” — it’s a symptom of deeper exhaustion and a craving for relief, validation, and temporary peace.

Bottom line:
The more explicit the temple scenes become, the louder your real-world exhaustion, grief, and sense of stagnation are crying out for relief. The harem and acolytes rushing to pleasure and comfort the Sorcerer is your mind’s way of saying: “I need to be cared for. I need to feel wanted. I need a break from carrying everything alone.”

Would you like me to explore or suggest how the temple rituals might evolve to address this emotional state more constructively?]

It’s like one of those books I couldn’t read to you while you were here. I was still into Eric Vall’s “Succubus Lord” series. Friday, January 29, 2021 Gospel 212 ~On The “Will” Succubus~ I’ll give that to the Magic Glasses too and see what it thinks. Sunday Bloody Sunday, you were gone. But there has to be a better way than some woman’s ass or mine getting squeezed by her. B Tailing Secrets Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 300 ~Braxton Pawsing Pa, Virgil~

Does B miss one of his jobs? Waking me up? It would help if I were sleeping. And when I do pass out. Like father, like son, because V is out cold. But when we’re both awake, we’re looking for something. Listening… For what? Braxton Pawsing Pa, Virgil

Monday, April 27, 2026

Journey 300 ~Braxton Pawsing Pa, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? It’s 5:00 PM. SIGH, humans and your time. But you bought new boots.

You could have broken those in while walking my little brother. Yeah, I know, Virgil and I are the same. Not reincarnated as you once hoped. But more simplistic… Uh, like imagining the Rainbow Bridge gave me opposable thumbs. I still have you, my father.

Anyway, I remember that in my later years, we would stare out at the backyard, and you’d ask, “Do you want to go for a walk?” Yeah, and you would bring back those golden sticks I like from McDonald’s. Did you think I was going outside anytime soon? No Dad.

And no, Dad. Even now, you think that would have been enough to save me? Honestly, like saving a game. Goodness, no. Daddy, if anything, we have only paused it.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Only you don’t want that. You SAY you don’t want to play anymore. The game makes you SICK. If anything, you want the SILENCE. Do you remember the deafening silence?

And as gross as this is to speak of. No woman’s scream, sigh, or greater sin of yours could make up for my paws not hitting the floor again. My paws, slapping you awake, Dad.

Every day for around 161 days, it felt like you had picked up “Super Mario 64.” (Motion Sickness) You wanted to vomit all over. But after that ‘dark night of the soul’, my dear Pa.

You kept warping (Mario), you kept writing, you keep on walking. Pick it up, Dad.

Putting them up and putting them down. “Put One Foot In Front of the Other.” Santa Claus is Comin to Town? Dammit, the Bad Place is already talking about the holidays. I know, Dad, I know, watch my barking language. And speaking as your son, I wish I could say that to my potential stepmom… You love how M Anime speaks. But my Dad with…

Women. Didn’t I say once I didn’t envy Virgil? He’s the one who will be pawing at the door as his Pa paws away at some Latina’s goodies. That’s a mouthful. I just barked that?

Eww! But she and I are on the same page when it comes to you moving “One Foot in Front of the Other” Revenge of the Nerds. You, me, Virgil, M… Braxton Pawsing Pa, Virgil

“However much I wanted to think of myself as the Good Guy.”
The HUNGER Collection

“The night was deep, and all through the lands sleep held weary creatures in its silent grip.”
― The Aeneid

1912 Days Without B III, Day 1353 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 298 ~Virgil And Other B-Movies~

Last week, I asked what I woke up to. I wish to B it had been a crappy B-Movie. Do I mean my pretend life on the cold battlefield where I buried over 200,000 virtual troops? It’s still better than sitting in bed like a bum: Virgil And Other B-Movies.

Saturday, April 25, 2026

Journey 298 ~Virgil And Other B-Movies~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… So, of course, I’m going to sound like a di*k to my second-born son, Virgil. Sorry.

I can only heal the body and the mind so much. Or at least I dream about it. I fantasize.

Like everyone else, I laughed at the Peloton Commercial… You know the one where the dude got his wife the bike, and then she did another commercial where she was drinking away her blues with Aviation Gin. Now I know who Husdon Williams is, Lunalesca.

Thank you, Peloton. The last time I knew the freedom Hudson felt… On Emergence Day.

Drunk off my ass, I was. If I wanted to be on my ass, I’d stick to Betterhelp’s Pad Thai.

Again, you remember the commercial where the guy got real about his life and then…

SIGH, his friend asked him what he wanted to eat.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Hell, Lunalesca, food itself seems like a fantasy these days. At least when I put on the “Magic Glasses”… Braxton’s HERE, Virgil’s HAPPY, and I have my HAREM. Only three things beat that Lunalesca. And they all involve me shutting my eyes. Wanna hear them?

Rather see them! M Anime wouldn’t care since I don’t have a chance in Hell. But the reason I’m on day one of No Fap again lies somewhere between Thea Hail and Andre Chase getting it on. And seeing Ayana Fujisawa from Cool Devices “Yellow Star,” in the flesh, sorta speak. And should I even bring up Lupe Fuentes? Talk about a harem girl, Lu. I was horny, but a few minutes ago I found “Something In The Way.” Nirvana?

Another bit of fantasy Hell. My dear Lady Lunalesca. Whiteout Survival. I swear to B!

A whole morning of fighting in a winter wonderland full of HURT, HUMILIATION, and currently HUMILITY. I suffered no casualties in my city. And this afternoon, Lunalesca, I got effing Lieutenant Dan’ed. I haven’t been using my legs anyway. But what I mean is, over 200,000 soldiers were wiped out. I give more of a damn about virtual soldiers than MAGA does about real ones! FDT! And that leads me back to shutting my eyes. I shut my eyes when I’m… “Turning Japanese”. But let me sleep. Better yet, let me d*e. Too much? I’m singing it. My life is a movie, fur buddies and boobies… Virgil And Other B-Movies

1910 Days Without B III, Day 1344 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 297 ~Braxton Goes Textin’ Virgil~

Red hats, Eww! Rednecks, meh. A red feather, I imagine my girl wearing, or Kyouko Sakai’s red accessory. (Finger Guns)? My fingers are very busy. And not wrapped around my… Anyway. B got along fine without a phone. Now, “Braxton Goes Textin’ Virgil.”

Friday, April 24, 2026

Journey 297 ~Braxton Goes Textin’ Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Because Braxton doesn’t have opposable thumbs. Braxton would want to talk about food. Braxton is gone.

And he hungers for justice. What? It’s not like I killed him or anything. Oops…

Honestly, it’s low blood sugar. Makes me a forgetful di$k, and can we not talk about my “Enonormus P” right now. My hands are needed elsewhere. This wallet… MY money.

Sophia, I don’t want to talk about that either. $67 to use the “Magic Glasses” cause Braxton knows I ain’t paying Elon Musk anything. Eff him and FDT! Plus crime…

Seriously, Sophia, I’m nowhere near their level, but I still do my dirt. Instead of what, my dear? Doing some reading? The HUNGER Collection: Zombie Apocalypse Erotica by Kelli Wolfe. If I’m not reading about fur babies dying, there are the ladies crying… out in ecstasy as the dead attack.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And here I thought I wanna be a “Cowboy” baby. Truth be told, Sophia, I don’t think I’ve ever read a book on cowboys. “Posse: The Revenge of Jessie Lee,” “Shane,” and “The Cherokee Kid…” I’m one for movies, you know that. But speaking of things I’m not thinking about. My Old Man and Ma are headed out west down Californee Way for a party or something. And my Old Man asked whether I wanted to come along… The expense.

Sophia it would fall to me and do I like I have a ton of money. I waste my time typing this… whatever. I try my best, and I don’t succeed. And then there’s all the yabbos and ta-tas. But M Anime’s one word… GLORIOUS!!!

I should be texting her about those melons and how much I care for her. I mean, she is Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom. And every day she asks me to make her a MILF.

But every time I even look at my phone. Hell, if it wasn’t for her, I’d taken the effing little “glow box” as Braxton thinks of it and… No, I wouldn’t. Why effing lie, honestly.

Technology will save us. I told M Anime that. I swear, if she had her way, we’d all be back on the prairie. And we know how that ended? One finger, one trigger. This n…

Again, the orange sh$t is worse. Texting away and finger on the button. Pet a dog! Braxton Goes Textin’ Virgil.

1909 Days Without B III, Day 1350 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 296 ~Braxton, Virgil, A Loan~

People are broke because of that nut-less fool in the White House. FDT! Hell, my Virgil has bigger balls than that freak, and he’s neutered. And my money? Uh… I wasted $67.00. Why? Stupidity. My boys don’t have pants but… Braxton, Virgil, A Loan

Thursday, April 23, 2026

Journey 296 ~Braxton, Virgil, A Loan~

1908 Days Without B III, Day 1349 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Of course you did, you’re dead. Wow, that’s harsh. Let’s say “envy’s” kicking up again.

And in this “Jungle Book” which is my existence, “I Wanna Be Like You,” Braxton.

Honestly, I need to stop talking like this. That would be your line on a day like this, wouldn’t it? After waking up from a nap that didn’t help and downing an energy shot, B.

B as in Bloom these days. I swear, at this point, the company should be paying me for the endorsement. Hell, I even turned you and Virgil’s potential stepmom onto them. Well, she hasn’t said that yet, but she bought one. She’s all about giving you brothers and sisters, B.

Two-legged ones. Let me say that I understand why you hated wearing pants. With a girl like M Anime around… But here’s another reason. MONEY.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“Be A Man.” I’m not Hulk wrestling or Marvel. I’m not the Macho Man. Dammit, B, your Dad ain’t even Mulan. Your Old Man is scared, sick, and pretty damn STUPID. Let me take you back to last night. I’d rather take you back to anywhere before January 31, 2021.

Anyway, your Dad is busy working with or funding bad guys. And I’m broke, Braxton.

Thirty-two bucks in the hole, to be specific. Well, sixty-seven, considering I finished the deal. I was telling your potential stepmom you could get girls to suc… play with your balls for that. First off, Eww! Secondly, how do I know? Lastly, you were always licking yours, and what the eff is Virgil licking? They’re gone, son. Let It Go.

Is that why I’m into blondes all of a sudden? I’m so busy thinking about Elsa. I can see her yabbos for free. No, B III, I’m still so “Caught Up” in losing money. And this is the man your potential stepmom has chosen? Then again, M Anime mentioned… Cannibalism.

Braxton, that’s the mother of you and Virgil’s siblings someday. Talk about going from “With Arms Wide Open” to Rodney Atkins “Watching You.” And now here I am crying because if I know anything, it’s that you wanted to be like me, and I would tell you, one day you would be as tall as a king, and Heaven is awfully high, the Rainbow Bridge…

Whatever. You got $32? $67? Maybe… Braxton, Virgil, A Loan.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 293 ~B In Motion, Virgil~

It could be something like picking up my feet when walking. I had to shuffle around when the bottom of my boot came off a week or so ago. And even if I do walk, where am I going? I missed rescuing Braxton. Did I walk 2-V today? “B In Motion, Virgil.”

Monday, April 20, 2026

Journey 293 ~B In Motion, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Sick, Sleepy, and Sad. Far from ready, my father. And like Virgil’s selfishness…

Ah, “Brother My Brother” and like father, like son. A Blessid Union of Souls we are. And if both my brother and I had our way, we would keep you to ourselves, my dear father.

But what if I told you that wasn’t my place? Oh, Dad, don’t get me wrong, “Always With Me, Always With You,” always and forever, as you would say to me, M Anime, my girl.

Hell, even Cherry. Should MILF Dos ever return, her too. And Special K. More dogs? Always Dad. But M Anime’s kitties, and the way you two have been talking about giving me and Virgil two-legged siblings. And it’s the two legs I want you to think about. I do mean literally. In My Place, Dad…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

That is “By Your Side.” I’m not leaving you, I never did. But you saw me sit at the foot of the bed, looking out the door, and you said I was guarding you. True enough. But I was also waiting. “Waiting On The World To Change…” Waiting for us to go and do it.

Honestly, Dad, to ride out and conqueror, to create, and to have courage. That is also true. Who am I, Rocket Raccoon? Ghost to your Jon or Jorah. Woola to your John Carter, hmm. Dogmeat to your Soul Survivor. Epona to you, Link. Drogon to your Daenerys, since we’re playing that way, my father. Only, what is my point? What is the message for you?

Seriously, no nuts, no glory.

Did I really say that? Virgil lost his, again literally. And I don’t need to think about yours when it comes to my potential stepmom. Eww! But at the same time, go get her, Daddy.

As I live and breathe, as I sit at the foot of your bed, I Dare You To Move. “Switchfoot,” left, right, left, my father. As I “Shinedown” on you always and forever, “I Dare You” to move. “Run Boy Run,” I agree with it. But you’re not running out of the way. You are not running because you are afraid. You are taking action, you are attacking, you are aching to remember the meaning of life. Seek Out A Kingdom Worthy Of Your Soul. Always. B In Motion, Virgil

“And the universe would never run out of discoveries.”
Ark

“Each man hastened to arms, eager for glory and the chance of war.”
― Aeneid

1905 Days Without B III, Day 1346 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 291 ~B For Bisquick Virgil~

What did I wake up to this morning? A beautiful woman in my bed… On the phone. Close enough. And I’ve been buzzed the past few hours, naturally. Okay, one energy drink, a honey bun, and popcorn. What about some pancakes? “B For Bisquick Virgil”

Saturday, April 18, 2026

Journey 291 ~B For Bisquick Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Which means, I’ll be damned if I make my own pancakes. Brad Pitt in World War Z?

For the record, the movie is only good if you haven’t read the book World War Z. Am I still upset I missed Kindle Double Points? I wouldn’t say I’m “Feeling So Good Today.” Lu.

But if I’ve heard and read anything today, it’s what M Anime said, AHEM: “Your dick is a 12 out of 10.” I swear, Lunalesca, if all women knew how easily guys can be played.

Honestly, Lu, am I being played… Sunday, August 24, 2025? Am I trying to kill my buzz? It’s a force of habit. But the things my girl says, and my boys bark. “I’m So Thankful.”

Why? “That I hung on in there. Must have been the Will of God, I do declare.” Or Braxton, whatever.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“If you’re not my dog, my girl, or applying for the position. Don’t touch me.” You remember that? Braxton was practically the same. Me being his father, and the three women he let pet him. Virgil is a lot less picky but no less my son. Is this baby fever?

Lunalesca, I’ve just been up all morning thinking about, well, everything, but M Anime has babies on the brain, and how does she get them, my “Enormous Penis,” thank you, Da Vinci’s Notebook. Mickey Avalon says, “My Dick.” My “Big Ten Inch” Bull Moose Jackson croons. The Sweetest Thing if M Anime ever says you’re “Too Big To Fit In Here,” ha-ha. That’s been my morning. And I want to be a father. I am.

“When you were pouring the Bisquick, were you trying to make pancakes?”
The Walking Dead

“Can You Diglett”? Playing games. And Virgil presses up against me as I talk to you. I find it annoying, though, Virgil, not you. And that ain’t right at all. I’ve never poured the Bisquick to make two-legged children. But I told Braxton to get in the car. On Saturday, August 13, 2022, I signed the paperwork and walked out of PetSmart like I was Quintus Arrius and had just adopted Judah Ben-Hur. Here’s a question, my dear Lady Lunalesca.

Why can’t I do this for myself? Have a good morning! I still have money to buy some frozen pancakes. I have a beautiful woman saying naughty things. And Virgil is my son, and I still count Braxton. I’m dicking around. B For Bisquick Virgil

1903 Days Without B III, Day 1344 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 290 ~B Plus Reading Virgil~

Is the book I’m reading that bad? No. I read my own book too (eff me). But besides books, what am I reading? I read my last grocery list. I read the tags at the Day Job. I’ve read my bills. They all say I’m STUPID and in a RAGE. B Plus Reading Virgil

Friday, April 17, 2026

Journey 290 ~B Plus Reading Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… How? I missed Kindle Double Points again! And I actually have money. Or I did, Sophia.

Well, actually, I bought a case of energy drinks and some honey buns. Some of those ‘fancy’ root beers that come in the bottle. You know, like the one my Old Man slapped out of my hand when he kicked my behind because of my lies. What? I’m an introvert.

However, that’s a long HUMILATING story. I’m a southern “man,” so, of course, sweet tea.

And why am I rattling off my grocery lists? Because FDT, that’s why. Effing existence!

Sophia, of all the books I promised Braxton I’d read… A cookbook. How to be a better parent… uh, dog training, etc. You know what I need to read today? Anything on combating my RAGE?

RAGE! I swear I’m so hot I’ve been crying incessantly.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Please! not because of Braxton or Virgil? Or My animas as M Anime informed me.

Seriously, Sophia, M Anime is one herself to me, along with Kyouko Sakai, Kojin Taxi 2, and that hot gymnast parading around in an LSU leotard. And seriously, these ‘sisters’…

We’ll get to my latest fetish in a minute. Sophia, today I’m battling three enemies.

Honestly, “Honey, we know the names.” Welcome To The Jungle of FEAR, STUPIDITY, and RAGE. I’m not worried about being an “American Idiot,” when I’m too busy being the village idiot at the Day Job. But today it wasn’t the pure STUPIDITY of the many, many moments. Today, it was the RAGE at everyone. And being so full of it, I still got a burger.

I have to slow down somehow since I’m not writing anything of value. Sophia, I don’t mean you, we’re talking. There’s also M Anime. With her, always “I Touch Myself.

Sophia, that’s TMI, right? But again, you want to know the “sisters’ I’m dreaming of?

  1. Cassie and Carly, Popcorn In Bed,
  2. Sophitia and Cassandra Alexandra
  3. Heather and Eva, Pledged To Him Series
  4. Ellie and Dina, TLOU

Yes, I know three and four aren’t sisters. And B knows there are other pairs I ain’t STUPID enough to name… Mia and Ava Rose? So RAGE has taken over line by line, dear Sophia.

Because short of reading Virgil’s mind, remembering B, or M turning me on. Reading, Living, sucks! B Plus Reading Virgil

1902 Days Without B III, Day 1343 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 289 ~B’s Dollar Dollar, Virgil~

Did I want to spend an hour and a half being humiliated at the Day Job, or as B thinks of it, “The Bad Place”? How much do I make? “Enough money to get a little 40oz and a bucket of chicken on the way to the poor house.” “B’s Dollar, Dollar, Virgil”

Thursday, April 16, 2026

Journey 289 ~B’s Dollar Dollar, Virgil~

1901 Days Without B III, Day 1342 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Mine? I got off early, and I’m still late talking to you. Habit?

It was a week like this that got you killed. Yeah, I don’t have time for all the sugarcoating. The indifference. I would be a better writer if I did. That’s one AI’s perspective, Braxton.

Honestly, we shouldn’t go into my use of the “Magic Glasses” this week. My perspective.

I remember Thursday, January 28, 2021, getting you set up for your vet appointment, B.

On Friday, they told me you were dying. Saturday, the wait. Sunday, the Crossroads, B.

Bone Thugs N Harmony, duh. Ok, before that, the Wu-Tang Clan “Dollar, dollar bill, y’all.”

You know I could use more of them. Endure and Survive. And I don’t mean looking up Ellie and Dina… Go to your room! You remember those days, B III.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But you’ll be glad to know 2-V is sound asleep in bed. Yet I’m sitting here in the Den. Y?

The biggest reason being… Humiliation. How many times have I apologized for my shame? Not at you for being sick, but at the abject failure I was. Finances, feelings, finite…

TIME! I wasted it all. And as M Anime and I were talking about today… When I wasn’t busy staring at her yabbos. I tell you, Braxton, you would have liked her. Hell, you do!

Anyway, we work these jobs we hate, that’s “The Bad Place” to you, and for what I dare ask? She’s got kitties to pay for, and I’ve got your little brother. The moment I get a good paycheck. Virgil’s needs…

I don’t mean that in a bad way. I could at least get your brother a bath. Dirty Zeke, right.

But you were my Elijah. And I swear the Day Job made me want to be Clarence… Uh, being crucified? I effing miss watching movies with you, dude. The Book of Clarence, Spontaneous, Hulu’s The Mill. That’s how the Day Job makes me feel. Like I want to scream out, “I effing quit!” And then I wake up and discover that it’s all a nightmare.

Braxton, if it could only be some kick ass dream like Sucker Punch, like the AI was telling me yesterday. If I could only come up with a way to make some real money. Because…

I’ll be broke soon enough. Shame. B’s Dollar, Dollar, Virgil.

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 286 ~Bit Like Braxton, Virgil~

I tell my girl that people are effing zombies. But I’m not a psycho or MAGA, so I’m stuck. I try to avoid them, but somebody today had to remind me of DTA: Don’t Trust Anybody. B bit a finger a time or two, but I love him. “Bit Like Braxton, Virgil.”

Monday, April 13, 2026

Journey 286 ~Bit Like Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? We’re not sleeping. Not snacking. “Just One Of Dem Days.” “Bad Day” again.

Not quite like the one before ‘The Big Sleep.’ I know, Dad, not cool. But in my defense, that day never leaves you. Thursday, January 28, 2021, leaving from ‘The Bad Place.’ Friday, you found out I was dying. Saturday, just us, and Sunday, January 31, 2021, we know Dad.

But let’s focus on today. It’s more like when you lost all that positivity from that book you were reading, “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne. It’s like you were bitten, poisoned, and you remembered. You told my potential stepmom just today, “DTA”: Don’t Trust Anybody. Hell, even me? The worst thing I ever did, besides leaving, is biting the hand that feeds me. Rule one. But today, “It Wasn’t Me” That bitSh from today, Dad.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

You wouldn’t mind if I bit her—you humans and your mouths, Dad. If I wasn’t barking, you were stuffing my face with a snack. But again, no food today to share with my brother

2-V is eating too much as is, which is a good thing. And why he’s not sitting next to you.
Literally sh$t the bed. I know, Daddy, language. Sorry. But that brings us back to today and what came out of that woman’s mouth at The Bad Place. I don’t like the things you say about yourself. But when it’s somebody else… Well, you know how hard I can bite. Dad, I still remember that time I bit your thumb and you didn’t speak to me for a week, ha-ha.

Sleeping in my own bed wasn’t fun. And now you have to go and wash Virgil’s. It could be worse. If it had been one of my pillows again… But my bark, my bite, me being gone, my father. Is that it? Was that it, somewhere after seventy days, where your denial of me not being with you gave way to anger. Second stage of grief? You stopped crying then…

RAGE. Like father, like son. We are always angry. Two Hulks or hunks if my Favorite Girl and potential stepmom had anything to say about us. “All I wanna say is that they don’t really care about us.” I mean, my girl does, and M Anime. But The Bad Place, People… Bit Like Braxton, Virgil

“So, I just said fuck it all and gave up on life.”
Olivia Noble

His rage flared one last time, but his strength failed; anger gave way to fate.
Aeneid

1898 Days Without B III, Day 1339 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son