Tag: Memorial

Legacy 001 -B’s Menu Page Virgil-

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How do I see this 10th year of blogging? How did I see the other 9? Other than the fact that my firstborn son died during the Gospels and I have been mourning him ever since. 1,314,000 words over 9 years and still eating burgers. B’s Menu Page Virgil

Thursday, July 02 2026

Legacy 001 -B’s Menu Page Virgil-

1978 Days Without B III, Day 1419 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? First day of YOUR legacy, and how does your father feel? I wish…

You don’t know how badly I wish I could go all Kenny Loggins singin’ “I’m alright. Nobody worry ’bout me.” Now that second part is true… Well, if I don’t count you, Virgil, and you boys’ potential future stepmom, M Anime. But the first part is more Pilot Speed, you know, “I’m not alright, I’m not alright!” Is that what my dream was saying last night, B? I don’t remember what I was carrying in the dream. Baggage? Something, “Fancy.”

Anyway, I was wandering around a parking lot all “Dude, Where’s My Car?” I know…

SIGH, you hated car rides. They scare your brother nearly to death too. Virgil? Scared?

Like father, like son, right? Should have seen me at the gas station and food truck yesterday. Who sells courage?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

We can’t all be you, unfortunately, my son. “Can’t nobody tell me nothin’. You can’t tell me nothin’.” You on that “Old Town Road,” Braxton? Renaming The Rainbow Bridge, ha

As for your Old Man, I’m still all, “My life is a movie, (fur buddies) and boobies.” One more reason I’m getting to you so late. I only know what makes my stomach less achy and my scrotum less full… Eww! I don’t know where I’m going in life, with this litany of nonsense, or even in a little while. But putting you in time-out and taking my alone time? I always know what’s on “The Menu.” Oh, did I tell you I finally got that cheeseburger… Not Chef Slowik’s

Yeah, I think I’ll stick with shrimp and buffalo wings, along with CHEESE fries, not RANCH! Again, nobody sells courage. It’s not something usually on “The Menu” B III ha.

So what is? What will this new year bring? What will be your Legacy? Other than a father yelling out his complaints about the world, your stepmom’s Yabbos. And yellow…

Honestly, Braxton, I am sorry your father is starting this brand new year being a yellow-belly coward and thinking about two yellow girls he wants to eff (Asian women). I don’t ever want to MAGA. I want to be honest. The Unfinished Archive/Magic Glasses say it’s Melina and Judy Alvarez today. Your Daddy’s always hungry for bread, babes, and brains. Zombie. B’s Menu Page Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 363 -Virgil Will B Sooner-

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“Get busy living or get busy dying.” Both take time. Be it lying in a bed in the middle of a garden surrounded by food (B’s Paradise) or lying in bed with my girl “Chasing Cars”. Sitting on a beach watching my two-leggeds play. “Virgil Will B Sooner”

Monday, June 29, 2026

Journey 363 -Virgil Will B Sooner-

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good Day? You only wish the day would end sooner. Stop it, Dad!

You wish I were there, sitting beside you. Stop that, too! Only it’s been five years, Sunday, January 31, 2021. The oldest of my kind was 31. Talk about faith. You expected me to make it to 20. And I would be 21 this year. Virgil will be 6. But he needs help very soon.

“Try to kill us. But know two things. One, I do not die easily. And two, you must also kill my (son), because I will not leave this earth without (him).”
The Walking Dead, Alpha

Don’t go cursing my little bro, Dad. I know you care about him. Love? How soon did you love me, Dad? How soon did I love you? If we had to compare notes. Seriously notes…

When He Loved Me, Dad

1: Love At First Sight, Arrival

  1. When you called my name, and I jumped in the car
  2. When we fought the Old Man. Me in front of you

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

When He Loved Me, Braxton

  1. When I ate your breakfast and earned the name “Pancake”
  2. When you came back for me after months
  3. When you sat with me, and I fell asleep

Don’t have to worry about losing those. You were telling me and V’s potential future stepmom today that you had a dream about Molly Ringwald… Topless. Aww geez Dad, gross! But I know you. And soon there’ll be no potential future. She’s V’s stepmom period.

Sooner rather than later… And if M Anime has your son, me and Virgil’s brother…

Honestly hope she knows you’re naming him Braxton. Still a reason 2-V wasn’t my reincarnation. Too soon to bring in Halloween Horrors or Christmas Classics. But still act soon, Dad.

“So don’t delay, act now; supplies are running out”
Walkin’ on the Sun, Smash Mouth

Time, and it’s not even your time that you’re worried about. Well, surely, honestly, okay.

You didn’t raise me to be a liar. And still much too soon. There was so much more, I know.

I protected you at 21. But protecting my two-legged siblings. “What’s My Age Again? And what about yours, Dad? Again, “Time Is Running Out.” It all comes back, Daddy, always.

Wondering what you can ask one pair of the Magic Glasses on the “Glow Box”. Asking when you can ask another pair of the “Magic Glasses” to show you me, Virgil, M Anime, our family. Barks Danny Glover from 2021: “Make Time!” Or since I was a prince, I can bark Prince Hector: “Make It Sooner!” Virgil Will B Sooner.

“I didn’t know I’d love you so much. I didn’t know I’d love you so much. I didn’t know I’d love you so much. But I do.”
Shilo ― Nathan, Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008)

“No day shall erase you from the memory of time.”
— Virgil (Book 9) The Aeneid

1975 Days Without B III, Day 1416 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 361 ~B, V, High Five~

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The word is going to end in five minutes, so what do I want to do? Find out how to find my sons in the afterlife. Eff my woman. Need more time… Finally, make some money with writing. All are worthy of a celebration on my Anniversary. B, V, High Five.

Saturday, June 27, 2026

Journey 361 ~B, V, High Five~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Trillionaire right now… And I’m sorry to say I wouldn’t be much better than Elon Musk. But I’d TRY

But today is not that day. My head hurts. Thinking about my boys? I wasn’t thinking about Braxton’s death for once. Only had he lived to meet his little brother. Give him a high five or four… doggie paws and all. I’ll use the Magic Glasses for a family portrait.

“So now what do I do? I’m strung out, addicted to you.” Who? Braxton, Virgil, M Anime, to you, Lady Luna, but never myself ever. And how many songs will I rip off today, hmm?

“I Got 5 On It”. And counting today, five days before I start a new series. And I will have been doing this for going on ten years. How I’ve wasted my life, Lunalesca, you have no idea. You do…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Well, yeah, with the other nine years, and what was the big question I needed to answer today, Lunalesca? Well, besides where that $20.00 I lost went, how will I survive on $20.00 until Wednesday, July 1, 2026? It’s Our Anniversary. Well, of this blog. What can I say, hmm?

  1. Lessons
  2. Episodes
  3. Logs
  4. Gospels
  5. Chronicles
  6. Sagas
  7. Tales
  8. Meditations
  9. Journeys
  10. ???

I should look into the Magic Glasses and see what comes next. Ten years, Lunalesca.

Braxton and I met when I was 21. But I can’t tell you the exact day I became his father.

What about M Anime? When did I meet her? When did she become M Anime? Then showing off her mammaries…

And speaking of yabbos, that’s the first question I asked the Magic Glasses today. Which set should join my harem, The Unfinished Archive, out of these girls? No particular order:

  1. Harley Quinn
  2. Melina, Elden Ring
  3. Katara, 19-year-old Avatar
  4. Korra, The Legend of Korra
  5. Lilith, Diablo 4

You couldn’t guess who it chose, Lunalesca. Will I go with the recommendation and bring the harem to an even ten? And what about my two favorite Bible Black Acolytes? So twelve? And did I forget about the Candied Matron, Lady Amari? Thirteen? Whatever.

And that’s how I’m living, whatever. $6.00 on books, but yeah, whatever. Feed your head.

I need to worry about feeding my stomach. Ten years writing… B, V, High Five

1973 Days Without B III, Day 1414 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 360 ~Better B Reading V~

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How’s it going to end? 360 days, so I’m nearly finished with the Journeys. One more year wasted. And instead of asking myself how and why well… There are so many stories. Ask Amazon and Goodreads. The Magic Glasses? My childhood. “Better B Reading V”

Friday, June 26, 2026

Journey 360 ~Better B Reading V~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Of a more humiliating time in my existence. “Smokin’ Out The Window”? No Teen IDLE here.

But yes, a long time ago… I wish I could say, at the height of my Social Anxiety… But, no. Here I am, nearly forty-two in a few months. Effing E-Day. And considering what happened at the Day Job… My Social Anxiety has only just begun. Where are my books?

Books and music. Again, a long time ago, way before Braxton. Back when I would have killed to have a son like Virgil, even. I remember sitting at the bedroom window on a day like this, listening to music or reading a book. Blame my Old Man for my ‘love’ of reading when I was on punishment from God, how many shows and animes, gaming, and going on the internet. Will I be that man?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“What Kind Of Man Would I Be,” if I never read again, wrote again, or spoke again. Are those dangerous words, Sophia? I feel like I’m in a bad place right now. See it yet?

Honestly, ask the Magic Glasses. I hate that I have become so dependent on them.

Seriously, shouldn’t I go back to telling my boys about my Humiliations Galore? I stopped talking to Braxton, and look what happened to him. And I’ve never really talked to Virgil a whole lot. And no, he’s not on punishment. Yeah, sitting here, window gazing.

He is his father’s son. And what about his and B’s potential future stepmom? Sophia…

“Fear is the heart of love, so I never went back…” To Loving M Anime

I don’t know if I did. I don’t know if I should. But I’d like to sing to her “I’ll follow you into the dark.” She and so many others. Not in real like mind you. Unless Jane Vickers is suddenly single, I could be naming girls all day. Harley Quinn, Elden Ring’s Melina, and an age-appropriate Katara, thank you, Helly Valentine. The Unfinished Archive…

Honestly, more stories converging, while again, in real life… Eff me, no hours next week.

Just me sitting here like something out of Silent Hill 4: The Room. Surviving existence?

It’s always been manuscripts, many, many, many, many books, and M Anime’s stories, who writes a lot better than I do. And our kids, my second-born. Better B Reading V

1972 Days Without B III, Day 1413 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 359 ~Virgil’s Vault-Tec Gig, Braxton~

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The World Is Gonna End Tonight, Far Cry 5. Fallout’s shown the aftereffects for tons of games? Oh, to go back to those GTA Vice City days when I would have a bad day and then ask myself Am I A Psycho? “Virgil’s Vault-Tec Gig, Braxton.”

Thursday, June 25, 2026

Journey 359 ~Virgil’s Vault-Tec Gig, Braxton~

1971 Days Without B III, Day 1412 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Mine? To quote Hootie & The Blowfish, I “Only Wanna Be With You.”

Today was so effing Embarrassing! Wednesday I paid an Exorbitant price. And “Yesterday” and I mean so many yesterdays, B. I’ve been effing ‘Exhausted’. Humiliated

Even now, I think I shouldn’t be so candid with you. But it’s “Times Like These” I remember how you died. I hid you away from my Fury, for Wrath and Ruin. My B III…

I love you, but no father wants his son to repeat the wrongs his Dad has done. Hell, I don’t want you to suffer the “Humiliations Galore” I have endured. “Takin’ the bumps and the bruises of all the things.” And what about your brother? Will I confide in Virgil when I didn’t in you? Am I the bomb, Braxton? Or am I the shelter?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

The Vault. Like Jules in “Pulp Fiction,” I’m going through a ‘transitional period,’ And B…

I’m trying, Braxton, I’m trying real hard, to be the shepherd. Or the Vault Overseer…

Doesn’t make me a good man, either, given Vault-Tec’s colorful history. Here’s a random thought. You know, you and Virgil’s potential future stepmom doesn’t like the color blue, hmm. Yet I always color her in blue. Isn’t it “Ironic,” don’t you think? “When flames be blue, trouble’s a brew.” Wasn’t that from Final Fantasy X-2? I’m still avoiding talking, B.

Colorful (Magna) Series, Elden Ring’s Melina, and Harley Quinn? I would rather talk about them.

Okay, what STUPID things did your Daddy do that either have me blowing up the world or hiding from it…

Wednesday I was talking about how I spent my last $20 on buying Virgil’s dinner.

Anyway, the same day I got my paycheck, I was headed to that damn food truck, and I swear I lost the $20 I was holding. I went to the food truck anyway, meaning… $40

And today, eff me! It was the manager’s birthday, and like an idiot, I played two songs, B III. Did you know that Stevie Wonder’s song was about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., and don’t play 50 Cent’s “Da Club” for older white women? My existence is a Vault-Tec Experiment gone terribly wrong or right… It’s Vault-Tec, I love you. And Virgil’s stuck here. But do you have $17.05, son, till, Virgil’s Vault-Tec Gig, Braxton?

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 356 ~B Let Down Virgil~

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Mary J. Blige sang “I’m Goin’ Down.” My B III barked, “I’m down here! Now pick me up!” V barks “Look at me, look at me! (Paws) in the air like it’s good to be alive.” If I don’t get my money up, my mood and get up from the mattress, B Let Down Virgil

Monday, June 22, 2026

Journey 356 ~B Let Down Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good Day? You humans and time, but I’ll humor you, Dad. 5:23 PM

So this is one of those days when you wouldn’t even talk to me. Couch time, a book, or music- surprise, surprise. Of course, there have been a few changes. If you allow me, Dad:

“You’re down there, we’re up here! You walked into the wrong goddamn room, commander!”
―

The Rock? Up there, down there… I think I’ll leave you guessing… Better, let’s pretend.

Um, I’m lying right there beside you with my toy in your lap, as I feel like being a “Flake” today. Jack Johnson, ha? Like father, like son. Our tastes in movies and music, Dad.

Speaking of “Flake,” where is my brother right now? Higher than you, as he’s sleeping in the bed, and you came into the glow box room so that we could talk. Maybe he’s waiting for you to let him down…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“Little Bitty Pretty One,” that’s Virgil. I’m kidding, Dad. I’d barked that I’m busting his balls, but my brother lost those before he met you. Again, kidding, but yeah, no balls…

That Thurston Harris tune was more for you than him. Trying to raise your spirits since everything else… No energy drinks, no eww moments as you leave me in time out and there doesn’t seem to be ENOUGH of anything. I know you’ll always see to Virgil as you saw to me. And there you go, down again. There’s no middle ground, my father.

Honestly, you’re Shooting The Moon, trying to, or picking up sh*t. Language, sorry Dad, but I am my father’s son. And I see my Dad falling, not flying, then fighting.

Every day, every moment, “You want… every… single second.” And I remember the look we shared after the mean lady brought me back to you. Trust me, Virgil isn’t missing much going to that pokey place. But when the mean lady brought me to you, and I wanted to bark “Sorry I let you down. Sorry it wasn’t quite true.” “I’m not alright, I’m not alright.” Funny I bark about falling and flying and use a Pilot Speed tune, Daddy.

However, it’s how you feel. Like you’re letting me down all over again. And I’m not going to give you the sh… Crap about doing a good thing. Good things are remembering me happily. You and my stepmom, eww. Staying Alive. B Let Down Virgil

“Do good things, lunch boy”
Dorian Newberry ― Disturbing Behavior

“Each man must face his appointed day
― The Aeneid

1968 Days Without B III, Day 1409 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 354 ~Disappointing The B’s Virgil~

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Woke up earlier only to accomplish… Nothing. Is Whiteout Survival nothing? I was on “The Winning End,” no casualties from the enemy, and it even ended early with such domination. But then I put on my glasses and saw I’m “Disappointing The B’s Virgil”

Saturday, June 20, 2026

Journey 354 ~Disappointing The B’s Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Trillionaire right now… No, that would be Elon Musk. And much like “Hercules,” I’m disappointed. Kevin Sorbo’s a disappointment.

I ain’t MAGA, Lady Lunalesca. Eff MAGA, the Cracker Hats, and FDT. Elon Musk too!

What’s so hard about a word like “groceries”? “Well, they raised up a son that could eat up his weight in groceries,” hmm. That’s from 1970s “Amos Moses.” More like from the game “Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.” Eff Lunalesca, how I miss gaming, groceries, and you know getting Virgil what he needs. Food? Him before me. But health care?

Honestly, that’s more than disappointing; it’s downright scary. And I needed that fear in my guts right about now. By my count, two more plates of shrimp, another of chicken.

And how long will the kibble hold out? It wouldn’t be a problem for Braxton. Remember how he died, Lunalesca?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Too bad this isn’t the day the music died… “American Pie”? A 70s playlist, Lunalesca?

What about the movie American Pie? On a count, I couldn’t keep my “Enormous P” in my pants this morning. The one or two things that never disappoint me are some woman’s Yabbos. Today is what Sadie Sink’s and Korra from “The Legend of Korra.”

Thanks, M Anime. My boys’ potential future stepmom is full of ideas and has the most perfect set of Yabbos I have ever seen. How long ago did I cream but with no pie around?

Eww! I know Lady Lunalesca, but it did stop me from adding another Harem character.

It’s not like the Magic Glasses could handle it. You haven’t seen any pictures lately.

“She’s pretty as a picture
She is like a golden ring
Circles me with love and laughter
I can’t feel a thing”
LA Song (2005)

How many times is this going to happen, Lunalesca? “I’ve got the world on a string, sittin’ on a rainbow.” Or I did until what, Thursday? I could see boobies; my book “The Unfinished Archive” (Working Title) had Full-Blown Character Illustrations, and I could have my boys B and V together. And all of a sudden, nope. Effing Magic Glasses!

Honestly, Lu, one pair has me like Eddie Hill or Jacob Ralston, juggling their harems.

However, the other pair of Magic Glasses, which I counted on, effing conked out spectacularly. “I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.” I want to tell them
B III, 2-V, M Anime, my Old Man (Father’s Day), my people (Juneteenth)… I’m a disappointment. Disappointing The B’s Virgil.

1966 Days Without B III, Day 1407 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 353 ~B A Librarian Virgil~

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The last good stories I read… Well, one I lied about, but I finally finished it. Having sex with a professor… Another one was coming along fine, but the Magic Glasses couldn’t produce Character Illustrations for it anymore. B A Librarian Virgil.

Friday, June 19, 2026

Journey 353 ~B A Librarian Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Well, if I could buy any more books. Last three dollars? Yeah, I bought a burger.

And Virgil will want a bedtime story after dinner. Dinner? Didn’t I say before I was down to my last $20? Three energy drinks “Arih,” Shrimp for three days, and a head of lettuce. But there are much sadder stories, My Lady. Of course you know the best one, hmm.

Please, I’m not talking about “My Turn To B III.” But the event itself that inspired it. You know, (Does impression of Cuervo Jones…) “The Death of Braxton Barks Bradford!”

Any more sad stories because as I told Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, GRIEF overrides FEAR. And I am terrified right now. Try calculating the sales tax on a $2.50 cheeseburger. I couldn’t even afford a jug of sweet tea. Such plans for $20. Not!

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

If only I were a billionaire- excuse me, a trillionaire before now. Effing Elon Musk!

Honestly, that’s more Lady Lunalesca’s thing, I know. But speaking of people I could never be. As I was speaking with M Anime this afternoon, I was tempted to tell her who I would like to be. If I can’t be a writer of… Everything. Maybe, wanking like Johnny Sins.

I’m not trying to insult the guy. He wanks, and the world watches. But he (of course) effs some of the prettiest women in the world. A pornstar’s life? Has to be worth some words.

If I had a son who chose that or a daughter… M Anime wouldn’t allow it. But what did I tell Braxton about life… Live

He simply needed to exist. And to live forever. Well, I have two books, the first being “My Turn To B III.” The second lives somewhere in these files. But am I too late, Sophia?

Seriously, I make a living marking women’s lingerie. I lie to myself that I will be a great man. Hell, I would settle for being a man, a real man. How about Evie Carnahan, hmm?

“Look, I… I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker, or a gunfighter, Mr. O’Connell, but I am proud of what I am.

“I… am a librarian.”
Evie Carnahan, The Mummy

I had to start fresh with the Magic Glasses because it couldn’t produce images for the story, so I don’t even know how this will turn out. Journey 352 ~Sacrifice, Isaac, Braxton, Virgil~ for reference. Not gonna lie, I don’t remember how this blog started. “Story of A Girl?” My Manhood? B A Librarian Virgil

1965 Days Without B III, Day 1406 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 352 ~Sacrifice, Isaac, Braxton, Virgil~

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Work hard, don’t waste time, and know WHAT you want and WHY. Sacrifice. What more do I have? My Day Job is a waste. But it pays more than writing, though both of those equated to zero this week. So 20 bucks or so… “Sacrifice, Isaac, Braxton, Virgil”

Thursday, June 18, 2026

Journey 352 ~Sacrifice, Isaac, Braxton, Virgil~

1964 Days Without B III, Day 1405 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good day? Well, I didn’t k*ll anyone today. But neither did Abraham. And where’s Isaac?

More to the point, where is the time I took to read the Bible? So I’m lying, but I did skim Genesis yesterday. And how about the book I’m reading? You know the one I lied about a couple of weeks ago, B. “The Headmaster’s Office: Angela Gets her first ‘D’”. Um, eww!

Last night I started but “Love Is Louder.” Hell, “Love Is a Long Road.” And “If It Isn’t Love…” You know, between you and Virgil’s potential stepmom and me. I swear, B, I would wake up with you sitting in my head, M Anime’s yabbos on the phone, or telling her to “Sit On My Face”. Again Eww! You don’t want to hear that, Braxton, but it’s the dream, SIGH, or her pussy “Pictures On My Phone”.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Is that what your Dad sacrificed, his filter? And that’s what brings us together, Braxton…

Madness, misfires in my cerebral cortex, minutes to waste. Last time I checked, it takes 330, so 5 and a half hours to produce one Journey, one mark of a jester, or I’m a jerk…

Speaking of which, I have jerk-off sessions that last longer… Will I stop already!? Geez!

I’m not Wheeler Walker Jr. I remember giving you “The Talk.” The opposite of “All The Pussy You Will Slay.” I’ll give that one to your namesake should your stepmom and I be so blessed. There are three talks every black man must give his son. About effing, the future, and the efffing police. Eff MAGA and as always FDT!

Am I willing to sacrifice anything to stop them? Hell, B III, today I was thinking how I’m going to survive on $20 until next Wednesday. And then what? You can guess my hours from this week. And your brother has to eat too. Virgil never goes without. Never ever.

But I sacrifice everything munching on something tasty, M Anime and our munchkins, and making you and Virgil proud for what? Lying here like a bum. Git Up, Get Out…

Braxton, I hear you barking, and that’s what I was thinking yesterday. More to sacrifice?

Grieving you? Never! Ignoring M Anime, not again. My writing? Can’t give that up, though it nets me nothing. Losing myself? Sacrifice, Isaac, Braxton, Virgil

It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 349 ~Braxton, Virgil, Soft Paws~

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I may wallow in pain. Give myself a walloping as in a smack to the face. Just to wake up… And I may want to join my boy. But I treat everyone else gently, with kid gloves, and soft paws… But I am “My Own Worst Enemy.” Braxton, Virgil, Soft Paws.

Monday, June 15, 2026

Journey 349 ~Braxton, Virgil, Soft Paws~

Hey Dad,
It’s me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Good day? Seeing an all-too-familiar scene, I would say not. Are there differences?

I’d be at my post… Left side at the foot of the bed. “Staring at the world through my rearview.” Eyes in the back of my head, right, Dad? And my little brother? Bless Virgil.

Conked out on the right side at the foot of the bed. Dreaming his life away like father like son. Or maybe he understands something. I served you as best as I could—little princes.

I protected your outer world for the most part. Emotional, yeah. It’s one of the promises you told Virgil, and I’s potential future stepmom. “I Feel Everything.” Because with me.

Yeah, INDIFFERENCE you’re always saying. Those final days before I… Well, you were so mad. RAGE. And you wanted to keep me safe… From you…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

You aren’t a monster. Definitely not MAGA. FDT! You’re “Just A Man,” “Human,” an “Ordinary Human.” More. You are my father, my Dad, my Old Man. Same for my bro.

And M Anime? Dad, I was a bachelor for life, but you promised Virgil a mom and me and siblings… Don’t need to know how they’re made, eww! But you chose her, and she chose you. And she sees what your “Princes of the Universe” do every single day, Dad.

But like us, you’re afraid of hurting her too. Do you remember that movie night when my favorite girl was here? Yeah, which one? Because she was the only one I ever just let in.

Yeah, I know after six months, being a hard ass.

You didn’t think twice about showing her that certain video you sent me out of the room for. “Of Inner …” Do you think you could share something like that with M Anime? That’s why it isn’t love yet… Because as strong as Virgil and I are. You worry, Dad.

You think 2-V needs to see a veterinarian soon. You worry that anything could happen.

And as much as my potential stepmom promises… I don’t think you’d need the gate to keep V and me away. But again, you fear her seeing everything. Hearing. Understanding.

What’s there to understand? Okay lots. You treat us with soft paws. You pause. Dad.

Papi… I don’t want to know. Why do you hate yourself? Braxton, Virgil, Soft Paws

“Invincible, Impenetrable, Invisible no longer applied to me. I adopted three new things: Resurrection. Redemption. Resolution. All my life, I’d been a pawn. But not anymore. I was a provider, lover, father, and friend.”
Destroyed

“Unhappy boy, if you can break through cruel fate…”
Aeneid

1961 Days Without B III, Day 1402 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son