Meditation 109 ~That’ll B Dawn, Virgil~

The things I think about come dawn. Why am I up at dawn? Where is Braxton? That was a nice dream about Michelle Trachtenberg. I need to do a book review about Bikini Dawn. What time do I have to work today? Oh, it’s Friday… “That’ll B Dawn, Virgil.”

Friday, October 18, 2024

Meditation 109 ~That’ll B Dawn, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Chapter one, page, word, whatever. I always feel like I’m starting over. Everything Dies: Season One…

While I’ll be doing a book review today… A review? Ha-ha! It won’t be for a T.W. Malpass novel. As heavy as that book is. I don’t even have children… AHEM, Virgil? But my lady, you know how I am regarding kids. I want to be a father someday… Funny!

I’m all about the jokes today. I can’t REALLY be a father when I put my firstborn son in a box and a pendant. Such is my Braxton. And Virgil? He was in Braxton’s room, peeping around the corner to see if I was up yet. And earlier, I was up in the dark… in more ways than one, thinking about Yabbos. So, I’m back to day one. But when did I read “Bikini Dawn…”

Night’s Riding Then Bikini Dawn:

Five stars! And that’s not only because of all of the “Yabbos.” This third installment of Michael Dalton’s Bikini Series was heavier than the second. Again, not because of Yabbos. If anything, there was a question a while back. How many “partners” does it take to make up a harem? Three works for me. And then there was their Papa Bear. Some of my favorite parts… Okay, okay, other than all the Yabbos, it was them answering the threesome vs harem question. The nostalgia of late-night softcore films. And the dream… My friends would be living the dream with this type of life. There’s one who really likes older guys.

I like girls and money. This book checks the boxes.

Okay, so am I feeling better now? Again, with what I read last night. And with what I had to read this morning. And then there’s what I didn’t read. B III’s finished novels, Sophia.

No, I would rather read the Day Job schedule, and have nightmares about it being Monday instead of Friday. However, I am surprised I didn’t dream about Emily, Vincent, and Kristin. Did I just spoil my latest read? I love my “sons.” But having a daughter… Let’s just say that I understand Vincent. Had it been my B III… No, I’m still alive. I’m here.

Sophia, I’ve been trying to look up stories of courage. Words from the bravest men.

However, what will I read next? That’ll B Dawn, Virgil.

1356 Days Without B III, Day 797 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 108 ~A Bargain Braxton… Virgil~

I’m reading a story I’d never share with B. And on Sundays, he knew to shut up so I could watch The Walking Dead. Could I give up the Dead for him? Sure. What about the WWE? Yep. Cheap, tawdry addictions for my son’s life? “A Bargain Braxton… Virgil”

Thursday, October 17, 2024

Meditation 108 ~A Bargain Braxton… Virgil~

1355 Days Without B III, Day 796 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Was my day exhausting? I’m sure. Humiliating? Of course. Am I being a meanie? Um…

I don’t like lying to you, B. If I hadn’t lied to you before, who knows? I would have seen you couldn’t handle my RAGE, and I could have gotten you help sooner. Now Virgil…

Virgil doesn’t deserve my WRATH. And I’m not that mean. If anything, I’m still grieving. From Sunday, January 31, 2021 to Thursday, October 17, 2024. And for the record, today is Sunday, October 13, 2024. Since we’re talking today, you know this week is Hell.

Braxton, every week without you feels… I don’t know. Bargain Basement Cheap. You’re bargaining with me to breathe for one more day. And in case you don’t get it (you were always so bright). Bargaining is the word for today. So, what brought this on?

Your guess is as good as mine. But while I was reading Everything Dies: Season One yesterday. I got to thinking. That’s never a good thing. Anyway, there’s The Five Stages of Grief, and so:

Denial: Your bed remains in the bedroom. Your food and meds are still on the counter after all these years. I haven’t changed the bedroom décor or thrown away clothes. It’s as if I’m still holding on to the hope that you’ll come back, refusing to accept the reality of your absence. But I know.

Anger: I hid my feelings, trying to shield you before your passing. I nearly punched out a manager after. You hadn’t been gone half an hour before your grandpa said to get a new “dog.” The anger I felt at that moment was overwhelming, a mix of grief and frustration at the insensitivity of others.

Bargaining: Why we’re here today.

Depression: Common as my anger

Acceptance: This will NEVER happen. The idea of accepting your absence feels like a betrayal, a denial of the love and bond we shared. How can I accept a world without you in it? NEVER!

I could continue always and forever, but the Day Job.

After you passed, I was a monk (Ha-Ha) for 161 days. And what was it that broke me, B III?

My love for you was so easily broken? Now, this isn’t about you. But I tell myself that I would do anything to have you back. And if I were to give up “adult situations…”

Braxton, “I don’t ever want to feel like I did that day.” Indifferent? Zombie-like? Worse?

RAGE, RAVISHMENT, REVOLVISION, the darkness, B. Everything Dies: Season One.

The things I desire, dictate upon the page and do are bargains. Being your Daddy. Braxton, that’s what cost me Everything. And I wonder if I’m failing to pay the cost or don’t want to. To exist? For Virgil? Forty years. A Bargain Braxton… Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 107 ~Braxton, Virgil, Dad’s BS~

Even without a whole lot of food, toothpaste is still needed and plentiful. I was lucky to find fajita chicken, a bag of tortilla chips, some shredded cheese, and salsa. Wait? I’m supposed to be starving and celibate… Braxton, Virgil, Dad’s BS

Wednesday, October 16, 2024

Meditation 107 ~Braxton, Virgil, Dad’s BS~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And how is that sitting in bed today? Bothering to wake up. Opening my mouth. Taking a breath.

I’m sure Braxton would call it BS. Especially since he no longer breathes. One more reason I’m ashamed about today. Or should I say yesterday? Honestly, I’m such a Republican.

Not really, Inspector. EFF MAGA! But you know what I mean. I’m so ashamed about the past, but at least I have the stones to talk about it with you. What about Little Virgil, Echo?

Virgil and I don’t talk. Ever… However, I’ll ask him the same questions I once asked Braxton whenever I came back to the house. Manners Maketh Man. Right, dearest Echo.

“Just me, Baby V. Did you have a good day? Good day?” Ask Virgil how many times I’ve confused the letters V and B. It’s not funny. I know, Inspector.

The things that come out of my mouth. And what’s the last thing I’ve said to Virgil. I woke up at 3:48 AM because it wasn’t a good night. Only to say… well, the s-word and why. I’m talking to you at 8:54 AM, so I’m late. What was I doing last night besides trying to make chicken nachos? Inspector, I have a theory that Braxton was always eating because he didn’t want to tell me the truth. His full belly was pushing out sadness…

Eww! Was that a joke about Braxton’s bathroom breaks? I meant I’ve never seen Braxton sadder than when he had a full belly. His last days? When it was empty…

Braxton’s Euthanasia beats out any sins I’ve ever committed existence-wise.

But let’s talk about yesterday. There’s all my talk of making a better “life” that doesn’t mean anything. When I wake up to mornings like this, Inspector Echo. Wasting time.

I can talk about the blonde in the gold bikini that broke me after what? Three days? As the song goes, “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” After I woke up my “Big Willy,” Inspector. Eww! And if it hadn’t been her, it would have been Cherry. Moaning, stroking.

Besides the stress from the Day Job, take a look around this place… “I got enemies, got a lot of enemies,” lots. “Many men. Many, many, many, many men.” Then there’s looking up bad guys. Like Isaku? My big mouth, Inspector. Dad’s BS, Braxton, Virgil

1354 Days Without B III, Day 795 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 102 ~Braxton’s Missing Tomes Virgil~

If Goodreads is any indication, I had the honor of reading to my son for seven years. How many of those books were appropriate? But reading about the stars, he would one day go to… But books are expensive? So is food… “Braxton’s Missing Tomes Virgil”

Friday, October 11, 2024

Meditation 102 ~Braxton’s Missing Tomes Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… If I can remember any of them. There’s “Morning Star.” A book review? Today? We’ll see…

But no promises. I couldn’t even get out of bed. Because what have I been reading besides books filled with women sans their clothing… There’s such enjoyment in saying that. Ha! Are my reading habits as unpredictable as the weather?

Anyway. Eight of the last nine books after Morning Star were about “Girls, Girls, Girls,” Sophia. Even Meat by Joseph D’Lacey had (adult situations). And I’m not talking about cannibalism and violence… Is that why I’m reading about the dead? Uh, zombies? My favorite monsters.

I wouldn’t imagine I’d have trouble with people. But if Braxton was an undead creature… Hell! Dr. Robert Neville dealt with Samantha. I’m a nobody. But Braxton. He is LEGEND. It’s like he’s alive in the pages. So I wish.

So, where are Braxton’s stories? What am I reading to remember Braxton? I’m a devil. Darrow, on the other hand…

A Morning With Morning Star
Morning? Is it morning already? How long have I been up reading Morning Star by Pierce Brown? And how long did it take me to decide to give five stars? Other than interrupting my sleep schedule… And, dare I say, a bit of a twist ending. There was nothing not to like about this book. Uh SPOILER… It’s like Darrow getting out of that box. After that, it’s all “go, go, go.” Blood, brotherhood, “babes…” and blowing stuff up all over. But my favorite part… The beach? The end? But how? I mean, I know how, but REALLY? Servo and Victra had more time. But I’d gladly share this book with friends to read about Darrow and Virginia and others… It’s a rollercoaster of emotions, and I can’t wait for you to experience it too.

Not much of a book review, but I’m not much of a writer… Braxton’s books. And what about Virgil’s someday… I’m weaker. And that’s not only “my” old-age talking. What do you want me to say, FORTY? Anything that wouldn’t make censorship necessary. Effing FORTY!

What about food? That’s one more reason I’m late talking to you today, Lady Sophia. There was everything. From reading my Day Job schedule to reading my latest grocery bill. Seventy bucks! And that’s for a variety of chips and two types of chicken. It’s not like Virgil is starving and dying. He has plenty of food as long as he’s not stressing out when I leave and making a mess on the floor. Reading to him about zombies…Decent enough. Only… Braxton’s Missing Tomes Virgil

1349 Days Without B III, Day 790 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 101 ~Braxton The Professional, Virgil~

Everyone Says Hi. But that’s the Day Job for ya. And it’s next week. After I wasted most of this week thinking someone fired me without telling me. Well, Braxton found new employment amongst the or at Hell’s Gates. “Braxton The Professional, Virgil.”

Thursday, October 10, 2024

Meditation 101 ~Braxton The Professional, Virgil~

1348 Days Without B III, Day 789 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Hopefully, it wasn’t a work day. Do they have jobs on The Rainbow Bridge, Braxton?

Are you giving Cerberus a break at the Gates of Hell? Ironic, isn’t it? I can’t REALLY say I’m in Hell because, according to my body, I am very much alive. And if I were with you, Braxton. You’d ensure I could never leave our “HOME” again. Never again. Professional.

Better a guard dog than a hitman, like Leon: The Professional. Again, “isn’t it ironic, don’t you think? When the truth is, I put you in the ground. Or rather in the oven… Ashes… Geez!

Braxton, I should not be making that type of joke as a particular type of person. No, not ever! Especially with “you know who” running for president. And the evil he and MAGA foster. Who do I think I am?

Whoever I am, whatever I am, it ain’t rich. And isn’t that what brings me to you today, my son? Oh, and I REALLY need to stop looking at those AI pictures of the senator…

Braxton, not that one. I mean Senator Padme Amidala. Before that, it was Kara from Detroit: Become Human. I am being gross and highly inappropriate. Uh, your aunt’s Yabbos… But it was Kara that broke me last night. Stress release after my Day Job order.

The schedule? Yeah, I got one for next week. Oh, the irony… (Rolls Eyes). They are the only ones I blame for your passing besides myself. And I feel good that I have that job…

Now that’s gross, evil, and rich rolled into one, Braxton.

I swear I woke up this morning after such and such a dream/nightmare… I felt as if I had been run over by a truck. It was The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident all over again.

You weren’t protecting me from such dreams and disgusting behaviors. What? It’s not your job. And it’s not Virgil’s either, as he snores away at the foot of the bed. And of course, I’m FORTY!!! And the Day Job must pay me more to afford both hearth and home. My manhood, I know. Your Grandpa paid your food and medical bills before the Day Job?

What do I want to do for a living? I’m trying to figure it out, Braxton. I want to make you proud, but it takes work. I miss you, son. If the money is lousy, you can always come HOME. Yet, Braxton The Professional, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 100 ~Working For Braxton, Virgil~

What do you want to be when you grow up? But I’m not finished growing. I believe in growth. Ok, I should cut the lawn. B wouldn’t put up with foolishness, my faking a life, and all my fears. Watching others eff? That’s not Working For Braxton, Virgil

Wednesday, October 9, 2024

Meditation 100 ~Working For Braxton, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… It must suck, you know. Breathing. That’s the first thing that came to mind today. My Day Job?

Inspector Echo, we’ll get to that. But for now, shall I tell you the best job I ever had? Hmm?

Being Braxton’s Dad, of course. I will ask again. Now that Emergence Day is in the rearview, am I ready to start crying about Braxton again? I should return to reading about grieving fur buddies before December. Only I have gotten into reading about zombies.

It’s Halloween season. And speaking of scaredy cats. I would have invited Virgil to read with me, but I have known him for 788 days, and he has yet to relax. Inspector? Virgil is terrified.

Living in fear? No wonder the both of us are always so exhausted. Virgil’s fear has been a constant in my existence for 788 days, far longer than the usual acclimation period for new “pets,” which is 90 days. But Try 40 years of terror.

And before I forget. Virgil’s Birthday is coming up on the 20th. Will I still have my Day Job by then? Do I still have it today? How many times have I checked the schedule? The uncertainty is eating me up. Meat for the grinder.

Inspector, I was up at 3:00 AM on Monday and got fully dressed. “JIC’ Just In Case I got called for being late. Tuesday, I got up at the same time. And today? Well… It’s 6:35 AM, so I’m back to my regularly scheduled slothfulness. I’m waiting until Thursday, Inspector. Such anxiety about the future.

The fact that this is bothering me so much. I can’t enjoy the week. I had all this time. But, like Virgil, being afraid is an occupation in and of itself. The horror, the horror of living in constant fear and anxiety. But then, sigh…

Inspector, the living at all…

No wonder I was drawn to reading about the dead. This comes from the man who wants to make a living on his back… Preferably with some girl on top of me with a cracking set of melons, vying in ecstasy. Ah, Yabbos! Then again, to be behind the camera…

And while thinking about buttons, what about the story I’ve been working on, Inspector Echo? My Raison d’être and all that? I can’t say I’ve even begun Chapter Eight. Again, I was researching ideas, and that led me to Ashely Graham and Fiona Belli. BarbellSFM’s Mold videos and some other “sick” things. Dare I say Pestilence? Inspector, there’s having “WORK…”

That’s not a dirty word. Having it and not kills me. Working For Braxton, Virgil.

1347 Days Without B III, Day 788 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 095 ~Braxton’s Book Banning, Virgil~

“Sometimes I tell the boys (B, V, me) old stories of courage and justice, difficult as they are to remember.” But with what I’ve been reading? I’m not ashamed. And I believe B doesn’t want me reading sad things. “Braxton’s Book Banning, Virgil.”

Friday, October 4, 2024

Meditation 095 ~Braxton’s Book Banning, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Well, no. How about reviewing a book today? Also, no. And what book am I reading?

I’m currently sampling ‘Make Room! Make Room!’ By Harry Harrison. This book actually inspired the film ‘Soylent Green ‘, which is why I’m back on the whole ‘eating’ thing. I’m not devouring books these days on that concept, that’s for sure. But with libraries and plenty of free books to download, not to mention my complete Kindle list that I still need to read, it’s like I’m streaming TV. So I’m wasting money watching nothing.

And what about Braxton? Books on grieving are expensive. And Virgil? As if I’m going to get out of this bed and be “The Best Man I Can Be.” I should be ashamed, Lady Sophia.

But never about what I’m reading or what I buy. McDonald’s. Anyone? Anyone, at all. But I had a thought this morning. Maybe it’s Braxton…

I read about the Rainbow Bridge in North Carolina. I need to check on Braxton’s Aunt again. So, I read about the bridge, and I think B III has more time to hang out. Sigh…

Weird, right? It’s like I don’t see Braxton on the nightstand every day. And again, what about the days I wrote book reviews. The last one was Matt Shaw’s The Call on Friday, August 30, 2024. I’m not ashamed I read it, but that kind of thing… I’m like Leon The Professional. NO WOMEN, NO KIDS. I’ll say things about the “fairer sex,” but that…

Anyway, I’m not ashamed of being “well” read Lady Sophia. Money where my mouth is:

  1. Freshman Experience: Harem University Book 1
  2. Camgirl Harem: Zoey
  3. Satan’s Sorority Girls 7
  4. Camgirl Harem: Willow and Harper
  5. Devil’s Bargain

That’s only the last five, Lady Sophia. Am I saying that my Braxton is… Like his Old Man, ha-ha. When it comes to Yabbos, incredibly so. Again, I must check on his Aunt. I know.

But seeing how we’re headed into spooky season, with Halloween just around the corner, I thought I’d share a bit about my recent reading habits. You know I don’t usually keep chocolate in the house for fear of hurting him… or Virgil. I got into sour gummies, Lady Sophia. And since I can’t walk sans clothing or watch ‘adult films’ with my boys around, I turned to reading and writing about those adults. And Braxton is banning my sadness. Somewhat. Or trying to inspire me… Eww! Braxton’s Book Banning, Virgil

1342 Days Without B III, Day 783 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 094 ~Virgil… For Braxton’s Comfort~

Of all the psychiatrists I visited, no one had a couch. I never ended up on one. That type of healing was reserved for reading on the couch with B. Movie nights with his honorary aunt. And other films. Comfy spots. Virgil… For Braxton’s Comfort.

Thursday, October 3, 2024

Meditation 094 ~Virgil… For Braxton’s Comfort~

1341 Days Without B III, Day 782 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? And yes, I asked Virgil the same question. But, will I begin talking about you…

AGAIN! As we move further away from my Emergence Day. Or closer. It depends, B.

Like the difference between a couch and a loveseat. Seriously? I’m looking for comfy spots. And for the third day in a row… Sunday, September 29, 2024. I’ve made it to the Dining Room table once more. I’ve told several in the harem; this week will be worse, B III.

Excuse me, did I say worse? What I meant to say was, “more difficult.” I swear, Braxton, I miss talking about politics with you. Virgil can’t stand it. Is that why he cuddles up to me nightly and I finish everything or not during the day? I finally watch television.

Braxton, even if I sleep, I can never rest. You?

Well, not with me griping every day. I got a message from M Anime about her being a complaint on two legs. I’m a complaint on three. Eww! I know B III, I’m so sorry.

Thankfully, your Aunt, her girlfriend, and their fur buddy haven’t come to join you, B.

Only here I am, safe and sound, imagining new furniture for the Living Room, Braxton.

As if I do any Living. And what about Virgil? Even now, I’m still upset… Your Dad can hold a grudge, grief, and a groan when I hear you or Virgil walking around the corner when I thought I had some alone time. Again, Eww!

Awkward and uncomfortable, but consider this, Braxton. I have a choice. It’s either for my comfort or Virgil’s. I got around $150.00… So, still broke.

A little less than half must go to the bare minimum to keep me alive. So yeah, food. Here’s the choice: I can use the remaining funds to buy Virgil’s medication (Heartworm Prevention). However, I could buy a lifetime subscription to Balance for myself. After the 30th, the price hikes back up by hundreds. Virgil isn’t dying, and we’re talking one month. Medication’s late already.

It’s only by a few days. The answer is obvious. Buy the medication! Effing honestly. Only it’s the difference between being a Friend, Best Friend, and a Daddy. I understand.

The difference between a home, a threesome, or a harem. An orgy or a gang-bang. A couch, loveseat, and casting couch, Eww! Professional couch time, maybe. Virgil… For Braxton’s Comfort

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 093 ~Braxton’s Second Chance, Virgil~

“You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” School, the Day Job, this blog, OnlyFans, Substack, noveling, etc. What was my first impression of B? Am I back to talking about my son? Or my wayward loins. Braxton’s Second Chance, Virgil.

Wednesday, October 2, 2024

Meditation 093 ~Braxton’s Second Chance, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Or I will, considering today is Saturday, September 28, 2024. I already talked to Dear Future Wife first.

And did I begin mourning over Braxton again on the 1st of tha Month? To sound like a particular political party… “I don’t recall.” Inspector Echo, of all the days I despise drawing breath… So, all of them? And twice for the Month of Emergence that just passed. Day one?

Something about the first of the Month always gets to me. A chance at a clean slate? Hell! Even Braxton passed on Sunday, January 31, 2021. Speaking of my firstborn, I’m still ashamed of what I thought Virgil would be like. My little boy B III returned from the dead… The guilt is overwhelming, Inspector.

The reincarnation of my son Braxton. Nope! I should go back and read some of those reincarnation titles. What am I reading? We’ll get there.

But first, there’s the fact that I have made it out of the bed twice, My Lady. 27th and 28th. Could this be the start of something? Do I hate my Day Job that much? As I’m talking to you now? Again, there was Dear Future Wife and Madam J. This week… Pray For Me.

Today is the first day of the rest of existence. I still wish I could be done with it all. Sometimes, and this is the best-case scenario, it’s as if I’m in the movies Groundhog Day and Happy Death Day. Somewhere in the middle would be Spontaneous, Tales of The Walking Dead Blair; Gina and Black Mirror’s White Christmas. The worst-case scenario is Hell. There’s no second chances. (Cough) GOP.

“There’s no escape. This is just some kinda loop, an eternal recurrence, a return to the very worst moment of your life over and over and over again.” The Mill

It’s why I like all “my” bills… Do I mean my Olds bills? Anyway, the ones I pay come on the first of the Month. Or as early as possible. And speaking of something… someone is “coming.” And having to pay. Well, Inspector, I’m reading Devil’s Bargain by Kelli Wolfe. Long story short, a young woman uses her body to buy protection for her and her little sister from zombies.

At the start of every month, I go all ixnay on the adult play. It’s also when I decide which OnlyFans girls, AI artists, and other card-taking Yabbos I don’t need to pay, Inspector Echo.

Yet, I always find some kink to replace them. Inspector Echo, there are never good hobbies. Or good choices. Waking up on time, three squares daily, and writing adult novels. It’s a constant struggle with personal decisions, Inspector. My mind.

Inspector, I survived Emergence Day, and I am now forty. Why? Braxton’s Second Chance, Virgil.

1340 Days Without B III, Day 781 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 088 ~Braxton Books It Virgil~

What’s “HuCow?” Uh no. Other questions? Why am I still asleep? Why did I wake up? What book will I be reading? You turn forty and given my fancy for HaremLit titles, you go down a kinky rabbit hole to forget about everything. Braxton Books It Virgil.

Friday, September 27, 2024

Meditation 088 ~Braxton Books It Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… What? Again? I had to wake up. There’ll be no book review. And life sucks. Sigh.

Yes, my son Braxton is still gone. And with the end of “Emergence…” I should be back crying about him any day now. When exactly? Judging by yesterday’s book haul… I’ll lose many bodily fluids but not tears. But we’ll get to that. I’ve pushed B’s memory away like Virgil.

Should I write out the humiliations I’ve experienced this week at my effing Day Job? Like the time I effed up a customer order and had to reprint several pricing tickets. There’s also my father and other family dramas. I mean Virgil. And Braxton’s aunt, whom I need to talk to. But the words and the numbers, My Lady. Edit a book, edit my existence.

There was my Day Job password. I thought I was in TROUBLE. Reason to stress.

And if I wanted to stay out of TROUBLE, I would write. But again, I was avoiding the house because my Old Man was here. And it wasn’t the need to write that was driving me here. I wanted a nap. That explains why I’m talking to you at 6:30 AM, not 4:00 AM. Lazy!

And speaking of time and numbers. How much gas did I waste? I’m surprised the vet hasn’t called about Virgil’s next dose of medication. And what do I need from the grocery? How many hours will I be working the Day Job? What’s the word count for the novel I’m writing? And how many books did I buy yesterday? There were reasons I didn’t let Braxton read with me sometimes…

Because, as I said, I’m not reading books to cry about him, and Virgil isn’t helping me, Lady Sophia. But neither are these short stories either. It’s like they know I’m pretty dirty. Cherry would be appalled at such titles.

Educated and classical is more her wheelhouse. The things I would read in school… Sigh.

As for the stories I’m reading right now… Well… Amazon obviously recognized my fortieth Emergence Day along with Adam & Eve. But new toys are another story. But Lady Sophia.

Either I’m being reminded of my youth with all the Japanese I once knew… “Netorare,” Harem romances and the like. And now I’m getting hit with Age Gap books, Breeding, and “Hucow?” I quickly deleted that last one. Eww! But Kelli Wolfe’s collection. Aging sucks, so Braxton Books It Virgil

1335 Days Without B III, Day 776 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will