Tag: Afraid

Journey 044 ~Braxton’s Peace, Virgil’s Hope~

WillLeave a comment

When was my last truly peaceful sleep? Any afternoon when B sat at the corner of the bed, keeping my fears at bay. V tries. My last piece of… Um, my last woman. It was before B’s Favorite Girl got married. Such a time. Braxton’s Peace, Virgil’s Hope.

Thursday, August 14, 2025

Journey 044 ~Braxton’s Peace, Virgil’s Hope~

1656 Days Without B III, Day 1097 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My day, these days, feels like The Long Walk. That’s an appropriate book for you.

I wish I could have read it to you, Braxton. But have I even cried for you today, my friend?

I’m not sure. Let’s say I was leaking a different kind of fluid. First off, Eww! Secondly, no, I didn’t… Not really. You had your Favorite Girl with your Aunt. I have mine with you and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. She was feeling pretty naughty when I got up.

I know, I know, B. Can I stop talking about Daddy things, and especially Aunts or ants, for real? My eyes are like a pair of aching feet. Say what now? Up and down from the buttons I press to the wall outside, looking for those buggy bastards to strike again. I swear B III.

“Just make this go away.”
“Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile by Staind

“Don’t look down
Don’t feast your eyes on the things that are on the ground
And if it gets hard to focus
When you’re driving almost at the speed of sound
Feeling nowhere bound
Remember what I told you, and don’t you dare look down.”
― David Ryan Harris (2003)

All I want, Braxton, all I need besides you, M Anime’s yabbos, or Coldplay’s Yellow.

“Your skin, oh yeah, your skin, and bones
Turn into something beautiful
And you know, you know I love you so
You know I love you so”
Yellow by Coldplay

Seriously, so I’m supposed to be Neo now? “The One.” Don’t forget, that was your name for a couple of days. You were my little Neo, well, my sister’s before you decided to jump onto the bed and dig into a plate of Waffles. Or was it French Toast? And then you became Little Pancake. I must be hungry. That bag of Cheetos from the Day Job has me ill.

“Deus Ex Machina: What do you want?
Neo: Peace.”
― From The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

Honestly, your little brother pulls the same move. When I’m eating, he cuddles up with me with hope. “He’s My Son,” as Mark Schultz puts it. But that’s like comparing my sister and me to our Old Man. The Favorite.

I bet her house isn’t crumbling into pieces. And she’s not sitting somewhere watching for Carpenter Ants. Jeezu, am I right! No, I’m scared, I’m terrified. And I can hear you, Little B, Be Not So Fearful. Unfortunately, terrible nights lead to effing mornings breathing.

“Jeezu, protect my soul. Wash my sin and let me fly.
Jeezu, protect my soul. Wash my sin and let me shine”
― Jeymes Samuel

“Woke Up This Morning,” but I didn’t go all Tony Soprano. Again, I was staring at everybody else’s Yabbos, and then your stepmom sent some pictures sans her clothes and:

“So now, what should I do?
I’m strung out, addicted to you.
My body aches, now that you’re gone
My supply fell through.”
Akira Yamaoka

Pieces of the old me, Braxton. But I never liked who I was. Virgil and M Anime do try B.

But you were the wall, and I fell. I failed you. And now you’re my road of The Long Walk. I go, I crumble, wanting this. Braxton’s Peace, Virgil’s Hope.

“I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don’t know where it goes
But it’s home to me, and I walk alone.”
― Green Day

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 040 ~Under B’s Eye Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“You get a phone, you get a phone, everybody gets a phone,” my father said yesterday afternoon. So what have I seen on it? Where can I buy more Carpenter Ant poisons? Those baby chicks M Anime wants. Pictures of my furry boys. “Under B’s Eye Virgil.”

Sunday, August 10, 2025

Journey 040 ~Under B’s Eye Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… “Can you hear? Can you read? Are you receiving a signal? Do you copy me?” A song?

Really? You can’t see the song in your heart, the air in your lungs, or the courage in your loins. Can we talk about your balls and what you want M Anime to do to them later? Ha, your twig and berries! And on the subject of what you want in her mouth (rolls eyes), are you still eating? Today you saw your last Lucky Charms bar and ten sour candies. You must always protect your boys, Braxton and Virgil. Yeah, when Braxton was dying, he had stopped eating. And Virgil is only trying to impress. Being in bed beats everything else, I know. You were praying you wouldn’t have to rise, but Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, came a-calling. She doesn’t know about these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 4: (His Sorority Harem Book Four)… Bimbeau
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I am so sorry. Not for failing yet again. No! If you have one thing to do this week… WAR!

You have to win this war against the Carpenter Ant menace. That’s why you haven’t been eating too well this morning. Again, I am sorry. Caulk? But now you need a caulking gun, I swear to Braxton! You have something called Plastic Wood to “cover up” the damage. I got you more spray. And this morning, the porch is covered in Carpenter Ant corpses. To Hell with THEM!!! Do you remember what you’d tell B? You’re his human. His Dad.

“I’m your father. It is my job to protect you. It’s a job I refuse to quit, and at which I can’t afford to fail.” – Philip Banks, James Avery.

Speaking of being a father, did yours get you a new phone yesterday? And how did you repay him? Twenty-Four bucks? Failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 18: A Reverse Portal Fantasy by Logan Jacobs
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

What would he think if he saw the chewed-up door to the shed and the cadre of weapons you’ve been using? Well, I’ve been. The most you’ve done is smash a fly. What, Ant adjacent!

What would M Anime think if she saw you today? The house is a mess, and you fear you can’t defend the rubble. Virgil is less dog and more scaredy-cat, like father, like son. But B III’s courage never failed. And now, can we not talk about your fur buddies when thinking about the woman you want to make their two-legged siblings with? M Anime.

Eyes On The Prize, man. Black Man. Writer. M Anime’s Man. Braxton and Virgil’s father. Me. Under B’s Eye Virgil.

1652 Days Without B III, Day 1093 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 037 ~Don’t B Frontin’ Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Standing before God? Please! I’m pretty sure there isn’t one. And the only thing I’ve ‘manifested” besides bringing my boy back is B and V’s potential stepmom liking me. Having to face her, my boys, and the man in the mirror, Don’t B Frontin’ Virgil.

Thursday, August 7, 2025

Journey 037 ~Don’t B Frontin’ Virgil~

1649 Days Without B III, Day 1090 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Myself? I’ve cried. I didn’t get paid. Been humiliated. But allow me to be official:

To General Braxton Barks Bradford:
Here on the front lines… The Dining Room table overlooks the backyard. Our lines are holding steady. There has been no trace of the Carpenter Ant enemy in days, General. Though I am reluctant to claim victory. The Captain and I… Your little brother, Virgil.

We remain armed and ready to battle the invaders. Vigilant and prepared, all is stillness.

Yet the toll has been significant. A few inches of the shed door have been annihilated by the Carpenter Ant menace. Several more inches are heavily damaged. No casualties to report amongst the brave who fight to maintain your territory. Though both Virgil and I have received bites from our daily walks and skirmishes from those six-legged freaks, B III.

“We must meet the threat with our valor, our blood, indeed with our very lives to ensure that human (and dog) civilization, not insect, dominates this galaxy now and always!”
Sky Marshall Dienes, Starship Troopers

To Manager Braxton, Of Braxton’s Savings And Loans:
I know it’s been weeks since I made a deposit. It’s these times, Sir. And with the recent war effort… Not in Gaza, or the war the MAGA Cracker Hats have declared against the American people. I mean the war in “my” backyard, literally. Well my Olds backyard, anyway. The point is, I have been pouring resources into simply holding on B.

Much like Tom Waits singing you gotta “Hold On.” Or Luther from “Detroit Become Human,” I am holding on. And I ask for your patience and for your perseverance, Braxton.

Oh, you got to hold on, hold on
You gotta hold on
Take my hand, I’m standing right here, you gotta hold on
Tom Waits

“Hold on just a little while longer
Everything will be all right.”
Detroit Become Human

The strength you showed as you faced the end, Sunday, January 31, 2021. Your Euthanasia. I’m trying… be the body, not the shadow, hold space.

To Braxton, my firstborn son:
I would deny myself before I deny you anything. If you knew how many times I’ve sung the words of Mark Schultz’s song, He’s My Son. “Let me take his place somehow.” I would have taken your place, Braxton, without question. If anything, I should have followed “long ago, long ago, long ago.” You gave me nearly sixteen years of your life as a soldier, the one who held me accountable, and as my best friend. My little Braxton Barks.

Now I sacrifice everything for “family.” I care for you and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. And keeping Virgil alive, cutting off subscriptions to save money. Effing WWE channel changes! Anyway, I sit before you today. Don’t B Frontin’ Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 033 ~Anime’s Lost Woods B-V~

WillLeave a comment

I spoke of “Future Mouths” last week, didn’t I? I was thinking more to the point of having two-legged kids with Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, not ants eating the house. How am I eating with gaming and gardening? Anime’s Lost Woods B-V.

Sunday, August 3, 2025

Journey 033 ~Anime’s Lost Woods B-V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you must be lost. Relax, I was the same. Sitting at the table watching for ants.

Two things about the statement. One, did I tell you to relax, to stay calm and carry on? I’ll tell ya, even if this was Wakanda, “we don’t do that here.” Carpenter ants? Effing horrible.

This leads you to two. The last thing you want to hear about is a “Carpenter” anything. “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” And if you’re ready for some Sunday blasphemy… Eff him too! He may have turned water into wine, but he didn’t save your firstborn son, B.

Speaking of “Someone You Loved.” Have you cried for Braxton today? How is Little V?

Are those bug bites becoming bleeding scabs from all my scratching? I’m sorry about that. And for blowing a load, a streak. Six Impossible Things.

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 3: (His Sorority Harem Book Three)… Bimbeau
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Um, Eww! That’s what I get for staring at Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, sans her clothing. And then there are all the moms in Saimin Seishidou: Reika Kurashiki, Tsubaki Miyajima, and Natsumi Obata. What about the WWE’s Roxanne Perez? Everyone knows the WWE has signed on with the effing MAGA Cracker Hats!

Blood, sweat, and tears, right? Cum on! Again, Eww! But ‘existence’ is “The Long Walk” in “The Evil Forest.” Seriously, a Richard Bachman/Stephen King and Final Fantasy IX reference. And here’s one more… AHEM The Lost Woods in “The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.” How you long to lose yourself in the fantasy. Your wood in the forest/bush of M Anime. Does she shave? Find out. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 4: (His Sorority Harem Book Four)… Bimbeau
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

What, like in the next episode of Dragon Ball Z? Enough! What is with all the literary and anime references? Besides the girl you’re hoping to have. Please, you won’t be getting any pay this week. Only one day at the Day Job. What else is there? You’re effing petrified.

No wonder you can’t cry. You’ll cry for Braxton this week. Yesterday I didn’t want tears mixing with the insecticide, and I was sweating chopping down a tree… Parts anyway. The Carpenter Ants are destroying the wood of Braxton and Virgil’s home. You’re poisoning and chopping up the Carpenter Ants habitat, hopefully. War against nature.

M Anime wouldn’t be happy. But she’s more interested in that stone in your pants. Eww! Anime’s Lost Woods B-V

1645 Days Without B III, Day 1086 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 030 ~B’s, Aunts, and Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Ants and “High Hopes.” Forget the plants; they chewed through the bottom of the door. B III’s Favorite Girl, his “aunt,’ has High Hopes for me. But my real sister—she’ll be an aunt. If M Anime and I “Marvin Gaye” and get it on. B’s, Aunts, and Virgil

Thursday, July 31, 2025

Journey 030 ~B’s, Aunts, and Virgil~

1642 Days Without B III, Day 1083 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I was up right on time, and I’m still late talking to you. So today?

Buggy and sad. I did cower under the covers longer than I should. Sunrise was at 5:58 AM, and I wanted to be up at 5:45 AM. I wasn’t. I’ve said a few times this week that your Dad is a coward. Why can’t I just be lazy? As a matter of fact, why can’t I just die, B III?

So I cower and can’t die, so what’s left? “Tonight I Wanna Cry.” But again, I got started early. As soon as I got out of bed to walk your little brother. Only I wasn’t crying about him or you. Your Favorite Girl, your aunt, ain’t here. And neither is your and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. Though she texted. Porn doesn’t bug her. Yay!

First off, EWW! But give me a woman who wants it rough like Ariella Ferrera and ‘dirty’ like Tsubaki Miyajima from Saimin Seishidou. It’s how you get two-legged siblings, B.

What about your little brother, Virgil? I didn’t forget to check him for bugs today.

However, what about the rest of the house? I don’t have to worry about giving him the talk about the birds and the bees. Uh, yeah. Your brother has no balls. So why do I?

Seriously, ants are destroying the house. Is that why I was crying? I look at what has become of your territory, Braxton, and it’s more like you’re the father and I am the son today.

Denethor and I’m your Faramir. You couldn’t be so cruel.

It’s one of the traits I’m glad you didn’t inherit from me. My cruelty and indifference mean that I don’t give a crap. My cowardice. “Abandon your posts! Flee, flee for your lives!” That wouldn’t be you, Braxton. It wouldn’t be M Anime. How can I tell her like Zapp, “I Want to Be Your Man.” And at the same time, “I am lucky if I learn to read and write.. Where I live, you must first learn to stand and fight.” To be a “Superhero” like New Power Generation sings about. But I’m a “Blankman.” How can I eff M Anime, be a father, and have a family? Your aunt would be proud. Ants should die. I’m crying. And bugged!

B’s, Aunts, and Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 026 ~Future Mouths, Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Last week, it was the MAGA Cracker Hats spewing BS. This week, I’m watching people starve in Gaza. “Watch World War Three On Pay TV,” indeed. I would share my jelly beans. Don’t I have peanuts? Me and my big mouth. Future Mouths, Braxton, Virgil

Sunday, July 27, 2025

Journey 026 ~Future Mouths, Braxton, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I’d tell you to brush your teeth, but bigger fish to fry this week. Ah, fish!

When’s the last time you’ve had anything besides a McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish or some popcorn shrimp? And now you’re craving catfish. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Nine hours!

Honestly, what are you going to do with it other than talk to pretty, pretty girls? You’re no “Beast Of Burden.” And that is exactly this week’s problem. You have another goose egg when it comes to working hours. Which would be fine if it were “Only You.” Join Braxton.

But you would rather stare at Yabbos than write like Yazoo. And while you love Braxton like pancakes and Virgil… Love doesn’t put food in their mouths. Braxton wasn’t eating. And well, he’s gone. Virgil has been eating more. I’ve tried fattening him up while I failed Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 2: (His Sorority Harem Book Two)… Bimbeau
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Have you cried because of my failures yet? It’s okay if you can’t “Say” what you need to say like John Mayer. You would rather be eating more than twenty-seven jelly beans and a cup of cappuccino. And as long as Virgil has food and water. You can’t have him ending up like Braxton. But that was Braxton’s choice, a product of the disease that led to “The Long Walk.” Kidney failure… Seriously, though, you would rather embark on Stephen King’s/Richard Bachman’s “The Long Walk” than the aisle to Banfield Pet Hospital ever again. But V isn’t barking out any pain. So what can you say? Honestly, what say you?

“I Wanna F*ck You” to your boys’ potential stepmom M Anime. Or Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 3: (His Sorority Harem Book Three)… Bimbeau
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Completed? Again, it’s been nine hours and you’ve already failed #6. You don’t have the money for #5. Your novel for Braxton, “My Turn To B III,” cancels out #3. If Cherry gets desperate enough to show off her Yabbos, that’s failing #4. Of course, M Anime shows hers off for free. That’s what potential stepmoms of furry children do. So the first two hm.

Reading a book about Yabbos and then remembering once upon a time, Braxton barked because you came back for him. The day of the writing in the sky, “Letters From The Sky” that needs to see the page so you can give B III, 2-V, and your women something real.

Peace, Progeny, a Purpose. Uh, food. Future Mouths, Braxton, Virgil

1638 Days Without B III, Day 1079 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 023 ~Heaven’s A B, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“Is there a heaven? And is anybody there?” I don’t know about ‘people,’ but my son is somewhere up there. Some angels have such heavenly Yabbos. M Anime, Cherry, and SeeJaneGoTV. Where am I going? Ah, Hell! “Heaven’s A B, Virgil.”

Thursday, July 24, 2025

Journey 023 ~Heaven’s A B, Virgil~

1635 Days Without B III, Day 1076 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My day, Braxton? This month? This year? Most of it, I’ve woken up in tears.

Or something else… Eww! You and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, would understand. But that comes later. Again, Eww! Let’s stick with my tears for now. Why? I owe you an apology. Next to crying, apologizing to you would be another one of those things that I could do forever. Like something out of Drive Angry. What’s my Hell, B?

“Fire isn’t the worst part. It’s the video feed. It’s not about your suffering, your burning. It’s about the suffering of those you love, because… that’s all you see… in full detail. And there’s nothing you can do to shut it off.”
Drive Angry (2011)

I would be frozen watching you die over and over in that hospital room. Euthanasia. Worse? I could be frozen, unable to end your suffering and watching you waste away. Further? I could be frozen in bed as you cry that Wednesday night, Thursday morning.

Let It Go, Elsa! You’d rather hear me moaning over her Yabbos, or your could be stepmom, M Anime again.

It’s why you had your own room, Braxton AKA my library, AKA where your little brother should be. But of course, I had to check on Virgil. And here’s another sin I should have confessed to Inspector Echo yesterday. The fact that I’m trying to convince Virgil that this place is better than Hell. Hell and sin? Speaking of those two things, yesterday was hot.

Only it wasn’t the weather. Please, Braxton, you know your Daddy and my hoodies, hmm.

The Visual Lady with the nice hooters at the Day Job asked why I’m always wearing hoodies. Considering I’ll end up in the Ninth Circle for my “Treachery.” I betrayed you, my son. Anyway, I might as well be as warm as I can today.

But yesterday I was hot and sweaty trying to create a book cover for you, and AI is way smarter than I. I failed to do it, Braxton, and it doesn’t need to be said, but I’ll fail to have your book ready by Friday, July 25, 2025. Three weeks. And I’m nowhere near finishing.

Braxton, I couldn’t finish “My Turn To B III,” and I dare to try and pull you away from Heaven. Is it nice up there? Because from where I’m sitting, a B always beats an F. Failure and fire. At least I’m not a MAGA Cracker Hat, a slave to their “Führer” Trump. FDT always

But today I’m not headed to Heaven. Hell’s closer. This house? Heaven’s A B, Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 019 ~Braxton, Virgil, Breathe Later~

WillLeave a comment

On Saturday, I watched MAGA Cracker Hats’ orange turd of a leader get away with being Epstein’s BFF. Before catching my breath, there was that Astronomer CEO. Then seeing to Virgil. Mourning Braxton. M Anime’s desire. Braxton, Virgil, Breathe Later.

Sunday, July 20, 2025

Journey 019 ~Braxton, Virgil, Breathe Later~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you are, without a doubt, the saddest, STUPIDEST, waste of someone else’s air I’ve ever seen.

Oh, and it’s only 8:45 AM on a Sunday Morning, so congrats. And you didn’t even need your Daddy’s help. I had to lie to him yesterday, so yes, your week will be getting worse.

“Yes, There Will Be Blood”

I would say you need a game with “Jigsaw,” but it already hurts so much to breathe. I also wanted to get to you before you say anything mean about Virgil. Will you. More like:

“Will I lose my dignity?
Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?”

“We ain’t got to pay no RENT,” as in you and Virgil. If you did, your bum ass would be on the street. You’re subsisting off a cereal bar, a cup of cappuccino, and twenty-seven jelly beans… You counted. Meanwhile, Virgil is becoming a “Big Back” with no bugs, hm.

Still, there’s Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him: (His Sorority Harem Book One) Neil Bimbeau
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Speaking of things living RENT-free inside your head, how about your firstborn son, Braxton? When you finally WOKE up. Eff MAGA! FDT! You remembered that you, too, were wasting your breath. And how you wished you could give them to Braxton and Virgil. Virgil would rather be afraid and alive. Braxton wants to be alive. And how about you? Again, you WOKE up late, and why? You were giving death another crack at you. FAIL!

Indeed, last night I had a series of nightmares. Snippets really. But they all revolved around the same issue. Things to “Take My Breath Away.” And not in the cool Berlin meets Top Gun sort of way. Being robbed, Humiliations Galore, being broke, antivirus protections. Nothing on Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 2: (His Sorority Harem Book Two)… Bimbeau
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I couldn’t dream about @SeeJaneGoTV, the Visual Lady at the Day Job, Cherry, or Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom. You need Yabbos galore. That moment when you’re not breathing as you’re “choking the bishop, chafing the carrot, you know, saying ‘hi’ to (your) monster!” M Anime is such a doll when she sees you like that, knowing you want her. Yesterday she said she would climb ‘it’. And she said even if she isn’t your boys’ stepmom, she could see being “FWB” (Friends With Benefits) or even Soul Friends, hm.

A lover, when you once wanted to be a fighter pilot. You’re not even a writer. Your book won’t see July 25th. Like you can’t see the air you’re wasting. Daring, Braxton, Virgil, Breathe Later

1631 Days Without B III, Day 1072 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 016 ~Virgil’s Lawyer, Braxton’s Law~

WillLeave a comment

I spoke with B and V’s stepmom the other day, and I introduced her to “BioShock.” But I’m not talking to the man in Washington, the Vatican, or Moscow. I’m talking to my “lost” boy, a woman I never touched, and myself: Virgil’s Lawyer, Braxton’s Law.

Thursday, July 17, 2025

Journey 016 ~Virgil’s Lawyer, Braxton’s Law~

1628 Days Without B III, Day 1069 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? What about me? I object to that question. I plead the fifth. I want to…

You “Make Me Wanna Die.” That’s me talking to myself, B. And it’s why I despise that question coming from people. Did I have a good day? More like, how are you? And there are only so many times I can say I’m “Feeling super, super (super!) su*cidal.” So I’ll lie…

“Yes, yes, I lied, I’m a writer, I give the truth scope!”
A Knight’s Tale

But how will I lie? Effing MAGA! FDT! Do you remember Braxton? You saw me through Trump’s first presidency. Hell, the country was nearly overthrown on Wednesday, January 6, 2021. But you had a vet appointment on Friday, January 8, 2021. And on Sunday, January 31, 2021, you would be dead, euthanized, and no more. But I’m Still Here.

And this is no Treasure Planet. But like MAGA’s Cracker Hats, I’m changing the subject.

How am I doing? Did I have a good day? I love you like pancakes, but I’m “Just A Man.”

Yeah, a man who’s woken up with tears in his eyes for a couple of weeks. Why? B, I’m “ALIVE,” “I Feel So ALIVE!” But I’m not the Capital Kings, Pearl Jam, or Meat Loaf.

Speaking of Meat Loaf, that’s my safe word. Eww! What, Braxton, do you and Virgil want a stepmom or don’t you? Should I survive until the winter and meet your potential stepmom, M Anime? She and I have plans. Yet I wanted to talk to you, my son, before her.

I’m not hiding anything from her, Girl, “I Care ‘Bout you.” I’m there for you. That’s your Dad being romantic.

And isn’t it “Ironic?” Don’t you think? Those two individuals that I care for… You are my firstborn son, and your (stepmom) M Anime, whom I care so much for. You both would be better off if you had never met me. I love you, and I REALLY like M Anime a lot. Her yabbos, (drools). Almost six likes and Carter Wilson said in Finding Carter, “Just so you know, when you reach SIX “reallys”, you’re TECHNICALLY supposed to switch over to “love.” Ironic, right?

Braxton, I can’t explain it to you, and neither can Alanis Morissette. But explaining myself?

I forgot to check your little brother, Virgil, for bugs. Life is a soup, and I’m a fork. I have 10,000 and need a knife. Where’s Virgil’s Lawyer, Braxton’s Law?

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 012 ~Big Beautiful B, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“I think I used to have a voice, now I never make a sound.” A big, bold, and brave voice. I’d settle for being sir in any drive-thru. Or if I had enough bucks. Money talks. Then there’s my boy’s bark and my girl’s big bosom… Big Beautiful B, Virgil.

Sunday, July 13, 2025

Journey 012 ~Big Beautiful B, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… But how much of you is left? Do you remember your Spanish class, or was it French?

“You’re black, you’re poor, you’re ugly, you’re (you). You’re nothing at all.”
The Color Purple

You’re not STUPID… That’s reading and film. But not the point. You can’t speak Spanish, but I’m sure Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, can help with that. The things a Boricua girl will say in the throes of passion remain to be seen. But we’re not talking love languages right now. Or are we? You can’t speak French either. And what’s really “grinding your gears” is that you’re forgetting Braxton’s language. Heartless bastard!

Yeah, I didn’t intend for you to start speaking nicely about yourself today. And Monday?
Another whole week off and no money. Only the beeps and the boops. A “WARNING!”

I swear every noise to alert you sounds like it comes out of “The Long Walk.” WARNING! Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Moving In, The House Husband’s Harem Book 1, Dirk Knight
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 004 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Are you doomed to fail them as well? Why not add to them with your big boy voice sometime? Hell! If you could go to a fast food place and they referred to you as ‘sir’ instead of ‘ma’am.’ That would be a win. And speaking of food, could you say you’ll make a buck?

How about you won’t spend the whole week crying about B III? Last night, while I was “watching” wrestling, I told myself I wouldn’t burst into tears this week. So far, you’re keeping your word. You didn’t cry even when you pulled a tick off of 2-V. The poor guy.

You could try not to moan over M Anime, Cherry, or @SeeJaneGoTV. Good luck with that, like Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him: (His Sorority Harem Book One) Neil Bimbeau
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Like how now to go broke, that’s the B that’s beginning to eclipse everything, even your son. Braxton isn’t here to save you. And his novel, “My Turn To B III.” Sometimes I believe that I’m on “The Edge of Glory.” But most of the time, it’s “Boy, you’re STUPID.”

Because I Still Believe/Super Bass and other songs will be playing when M Anime comes (in more ways than one) in the Winter. You’re a geek, a gleek, but at least she acknowledges that you’re a guy. And when a girl says You got a handsome dick! Or something like that. Her words make you feel ten feet tall, with a Big Ten Inch… Record

Yet it’s Braxton. His barking. Silence. Big Beautiful B, Virgil.

1624 Days Without B III, Day 1065 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will