Tag: Lazy

Journey 068 ~E-Day, HAPPY B, V~

WillLeave a comment

Did I wake up horny? I have a stomachache, 80% Blue Balls, 20% pesticides. And while we’re on the subject of numbers, Uh-oh! Guess what day it is! SIGHS, it’s E-Day. Lvl 41. And don’t you dare say Happy Whatever. But I Have A Dream E-Day, HAPPY B, V.

Sunday, September 7, 2025

Journey 068 ~E-Day, HAPPY B, V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror…Okay, here we are! Forty-One! Level 41! No Six Impossible Things. No dangerous words. What’s your perfect day?

Today, I am awake. I am alive. I am not afraid. And I am happy.

I can’t say I woke up naturally… What’s more natural than waking up with the sun cascading around my body and my wonderful wife’s mouth wrapped around me? Oh my God! She told me that she wanted to “suck” better than any woman I’d been with before. So mission accomplished.

And just in time too, as we forgot to lock the door, and BB comes in. Oh, Braxton, my Braxton. My firstborn furry at the age of twenty gave me his “I’m too old for this shit” look. His two-legged brother is holding him tightly. Then there are the twins.

Leia holds a trembling Virgil. Luke rubs the sleep from his eyes, saying he can’t reach the breakfast in the hall. M Anime finally rises.

After breakfast in bed with my family, we head to the beach. Braxton tries to relax, but he’s busy leading his brother on guard duty. My wife plays with the children while I play businessman and look up fun facts. Did you know Roger Murtaugh (Danny Glover) was 41 when he first said, “I’m too old for this shit?” And I “Take A Look At My Life,” like I’m Fat Joe or somebody. While I’m not Puerto Rican, I did marry a Puerto Rican woman.

Today, that woman of mine is pulling out of my beach chair as the nanny comes walking by in her bikini, looking like she’s from Michael Dalton’s Bikini Days series. M said she had a “sex on the beach” fantasy.

Fortunately, the kids, two-legged and four-legged, saw none of that. Though they did see me blow out the candles later on back at the house. And since my wife had her fantasy fulfilled, I have a few of my own. There’s a reason I have a thing for HaremLit. And one of my favorite songs is “Thirteen Women (And Only One Man In Town)” by Bill Haley & His Comets. I even wrote about this fantasy in “Nightmare At The Meat Market.” Who am I?

I’m a best-selling author, a director, and a producer. I run a brothel. I’m a husband, a father, and I’m surrounded by women’s:

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

In this moment, I am happy. I think I like this little life. E-Day, HAPPY B, V.

1680 Days Without B III, Day 1121 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 065 ~A B Wish Virgil~

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“Do it for Braxton,” JSS (Just Survive Somehow). “I guess I die another day.” That’s what I told myself today. Sunday, “E-Day” is coming. I can’t go all Me Before You, Will Traynor. Hell, M Anime won’t be my, Lou Clark. My wish? No! “A B Wish Virgil”

Thursday, September 4, 2025

Journey 065 ~A B Wish Virgil~

1677 Days Without B III, Day 1118 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? This Wednesday, going into Thursday and E-Day, I’m going to try. Uh, try what exactly?

“Do good things, lunch boy.”
Dorian Newberry, Disturbing Behavior (1998)

“Dream. Try. Do good,”
Mr. Feeny, Boy Meets World (2000)

“We keep you alive to serve this ship. So row well, and live.”
Quintus Arrius

Come on, B, I had to throw 1959’s Ben-Hur into the mix. “Forty-One.” I keep hearing the drumbeat in my heart, Braxton. You have no idea how difficult it is to try to be nice.

To myself? Absolutely. So today I only want to be honest about “my” E-Day plans.

Today at the Day Job, I gave it a think, so here’s the plan. Always subject to change, B III.

Today, I want to give you an honest assessment of E-Day, Emergence, Existence, Extinction, Evolution, and Effing. Things I believe can get done. Friday will be why I hate E-Day with Lady Sophia. Saturday, I’ll explain the weirder ones to Lady Lunalesca. And Sunday (E-Day), I’ll give the Man in the Mirror my perfect day.

“It’s time to change the world kids! Here’s the blueprint.”
Dead Celebrity Status ― Messiah

(Today, I am awake. I am alive. I am not afraid. And I am happy.)

Not today, Braxton. In forty-one years of Existence, I have never believed that. However, we’re still talking about what’s real on E-Day. I don’t set any alarms and wake up whenever, ha-ha. I want to order breakfast, but I will end up making it. The only time I plan on leaving this house is for your little brother Virgil’s walk and food service. I won’t be writing, but I will be posting on that day. A day without ink is like a day without sunshine. Oh my Dear B III.

Your Dad hates to admit it, but I’d like to see M Anime, preferably without any clothes on. I know, I know, you don’t want to know that. It’s a pleasant thought. But she’s gone.

I’d like to order lunch from B-Dubs and a frosty strawberry milkshake. More Money? Getting expensive. I’ll carve a nice $150-$200. And that’s not all E-Day. I’d like to see The Long Walk on the 12th. And maybe some AirPods… I couldn’t BUY a woman even if I wanted to. Again, M Anime was my favorite. Your favorite girl won’t say a thing because she knows I hate E-Day, though I met her on one of the better ones. Cherry wouldn’t dare reveal her Yabbos.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

Of course, I’ll take my customary nap and spend my usual writing time reading or watching movies. Dinner will feature the traditional Surf and Turf, including a Lobster Tail and a Medium-Rare Steak. Yum, yum.

Bobby: What if somebody wants theirs well-done?
Hank: We ask them politely, yet firmly, to leave.
King of the Hill

Baked Potato and French Fries? Potato for me, and I’m sure your brother won’t mind the fries and a slice of steak. The only thing I have to watch is Season 3 of “The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon.” And after that… A reasonable night’s sleep? I need to ask your favorite girl about drink recommendations. Getting properly hammered for Existence?

The only way to survive it. All of this is a long shot, Braxton, but again for you, I’ll try. Ironic that I get to exist on E-Day because I make everything else… Well, cease to. A B Wish Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 061 ~B Quiet Virgil, E-Day~

WillLeave a comment

Did I mention I hate Sundays? Yep. Much like B’s Death… which was on a Sunday. Last Sunday, my GF broke up with me. This Sunday is “The Calm Before.” Look up The Walking Dead. Next Sunday will be the second-worst day of my life. B Quiet Virgil, E-Day

Sunday, August 31, 2025

Journey 061 ~B Quiet Virgil, E-Day~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you look even worse than I did around this time last week. Let’s refresh your memory:

~Sunday, August 24, 2025
6.17 AM M Anime: Wishing I could just fuck with you right now.

6:19 AM Me: I’m still hard for you

M Anime: Good morning, Will! I do hope you’re okay in your part of the world. Here I’m a bit sad. Having lustful thoughts. And somehow managing.

THE BREAKUP

12:19 PM M Anime: But the silence and the looks that would hang in between…~

SILENCE

Congratulations, you’re not looking at the past, i.e., B’s death. You’re not looking at the future. E-Day is next Sunday. But “Here And Now” as Luther Vandross sings. Last week.

Whatever, the fact of the matter is, you haven’t spoken to M Anime since then.

Honestly, what does that mean? Winning these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 5: An Unconventional Romance – Neil Bimbeau
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 009 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Yeah, I think not. However, I completed number four. You know exactly why that is.

Though I know you’ve been having a HARD time this morning. I know. Right, seriously.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

Yeah, yeah, you’re almost broke. You are broke and broken. And today you should be looking at yourself. What am I talking about? I’ve been doing that all week. You’re still you, and what did you have to show for it? The jury is still out considering it’s nearly the “1st of Tha Month. Tomorrow. And again come this time next week, Judah Ben-Hur… Um

“Your eyes are full of hate, forty-one. That’s good. Hate keeps a man alive. It gives him strength.”
Quintus Arrius

“It’s a strange, stubborn faith you keep. To believe that existence has a purpose! A sane man would have learned to lose it long before this.”

“As you have. What drove it out of you?”

“Go back to your oar, Forty-One.”
Quintus Arrius And Ben-Hur

Whoever the gods are, they take small interest in an old man’s hopes.
Quintus Arrius

Will, you’ll be “Forty-One.” So back to your oar. But not yet. Virgil can wait another moment or two. Ants, Mosquitos, these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Whatever I Can Get With Kindle Points. Some Are Pending
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 009 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You didn’t have anything special for these things last year. So again you’ll be lazy.

Perhaps, you will come up with something since you’ll be talking to your “Forty-One,” year-old self. And for reference, you’re hearing the voice of Quintus Arrius, the Roman Consul in the 1959 film Ben-Hur. He called Ben-Hur “Forty-One,” referring to his seat/slave number. And that’s your life. A slave, a sucker, and skeevy as all hell. Effing worthless! Beats silence.

That’s one more E to add to E-Day, Emergence, Existence, Extinction, who’s not getting Effed. Not by M Anime or anyone else. Hell! The last time? B’s Favorite Girl’s Wedding?

Sometime in 2019. Your favorite girl, M Anime, is getting married to someone else next year. Shall I wish you Good Luck? Stay Alive. But, first, B Quiet Virgil, E-Day.

“I miss her
And I’m telling her
with all the silence
I am capable of.”
Charles Bukowski

1673 Days Without B III, Day 1114 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 058 ~Virgil’s Good Sense B~

WillLeave a comment

If I had any sense at all, I would admit “All These Things That I’ve Done” to B’s Grandpa. To think I told him about M Anime. But his son is still a loser. And speaking of kids, sadly, it won’t be with M Anime. If only I had “Virgil’s Good Sense, B.”

Thursday, August 28, 2025

Journey 058 ~Virgil’s Good Sense B~

1670 Days Without B III, Day 1111 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Today is Monday, August 25, 2025, so you know how my day was. Humiliations Galore?

Around this time last week son, I was so worried about your potential… Nope, Braxton!

M Anime won’t be your stepmom. Do you remember when you and I had to have “The Talk?” You liked your Favorite Girl a little too much. I got two words for ya, “Red Rocket.”

Eww! Must your Dad be so gross today? At the moment your Daddy is out of tears, the toxins are still flowing, and toting your little brother Virgil around daily. But I don’t want to talk about why I’m still sitting at the Dining Room table. But three days, Braxton.

Honestly, I’m glad E-Day is still a ways off. But I’d also rather be with you. I know B III. Dangerous words, but there’s more.

It’s why I haven’t talked to M Anime yet. Hell! By the time you read this who knows. If you were here, I don’t think she would have gotten this far. You hated everybody, B.

Again, you had your Favorite Girl, your aunt, your grandma and even your grandpa. Uh.

Back to M Anime. Let’s pretend B that we’re sitting in bed and I’m finally explaining to you how my day was. How I wish we could go back to those days Braxton. Good days.

Anyway, “What do I tell you M Anime? The woman I was falling in love with woke up this morning to tell me it’s over. And why? Because she wants to have a family. Kids?”

Braxton, you didn’t have siblings.

Ahem… Virgil. I mean siblings, while you were bound to the mortal coil, Braxton. SIGH.

It didn’t make sense. You and I had each other, and that was enough. But for M, my B III. Why didn’t she say it? I get the sense that she’s lying. I’ve looked at myself in a mirror, B.

And there’s also all the cents that I’m missing in my bank account. But for M Anime. I think you would have liked her. I still do. If only I had you and Virgil’s good sense. You didn’t give your heart easily, and Virgil keeps his mouth shut. But me? I’ll never touch her, taste her, hear as she… Or smell her roses. And seeing her. Virgil’s Good Sense B

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 054 ~E-Day, B III Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I hate Sundays again. I don’t believe in God. But where did my B go? How’d I find an angel? Why am I fighting so hard to save the house? B’s on the Rainbow Bridge. I couldn’t build a Heaven for M Anime. Even the BUGS said Damn! “E-Day, B III Virgil.”

Sunday, August 24, 2025

Journey 054 ~E-Day, B III Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… You’ve looked way better, man. “What Do You Wanna Talk About?” E-Day, Happy Death Day, and TODAY!

We should start with B and V’s potential stepmom M Anime. Oh, she’s not anymore.

Effing hell you say! That’s the one thing I have over you today. I had her but we’ll get there. You have to start with the second worse day of your existence. Today’s pretty bad!

But what is E-Day? Some want to know. Um, artificial intelligence anyway but you know.

E-Day stands for Emergence Day. Following your ‘Rule of Three’ There is Emergence, Existence, and Extinction. There is also a newer ‘fourth’ for Evolution/Evolve, too.

Emergence Day much like BLM (Braxton’s Life Matters) was taken from pop culture. In this case the Gears Of War franchise to represent your Emergence from Hell. So yeah your birthday. Failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 19: A Reverse Portal Fantasy by Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

You’ll be failing them next week and then your successor will fail the next. Emergence?

It’s so close. And for the record, the worse day of existence will forever be, the day that Braxton died. And how many times must we go over that? Eff I’m beginning to believe even the BUGS are laying off the wall today. Give a broken hearted man some leeway.

Let’s continue talking about that man. Let’s talk about you. You could be “The 40-Year-Old Virgin.” You don’t believe in God but the FACT that Braxton went to Heaven, that your body count is a dozen tops, and that you haven’t downed an acetaminophen bottle.

“If there’s a God up there
Somethin’ above
God, shine your light down here
Shine on the love
Love of the loveless”
Eels – 2003

Between Braxton’s Favorite Girl and Virgil needing a father. A Dad failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 5: An Unconventional Romance – Neil Bimbeau
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

That brings us to the third worse moment of existence, beating out getting the Day Job and the day you and Braxton fought your Old Man. That was love, Brotherhood.

However, M Anime… No longer the stepmom, the ‘sexy thing’ the would be your S*ut.

Harsh? You’d say all out of love but if you want to talk about harsh. “You wake up and suddenly you’re in love,” only for that woman not only to say it’s over but she’s getting married to someone else and why? She wants children. You! The man that treats Braxton and Virgil as such. Who screamed Fatherhood is the epitome of Manhood. Buying that?

Look at yourself. Your Ma ripped you out (C-Section). Emergence Day. E-Day, B III Virgil

“Your black, you’re poor, you’re ugly, you’re a (man), you’re nothing at all!”
The Color Purple

“Your eyes are full of hate, forty-one. That’s good. Hate keeps a man alive. It gives him strength.”
Ben-Hur (1959)

1666 Days Without B III, Day 1107 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 051 ~Press B For Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Words. I don’t know if Braxton ever understood a word I was saying. Virgil is scared of what I might say. I didn’t confuse him with B again, did I? And the woman I care for the most… next to my Ma. Hell! What do I say? “Press B For Virgil.”

Thursday, August 21, 2025

Journey 051 ~Press B For Virgil~

1663 Days Without B III, Day 1104 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My day… All that I want for you, my son, is to be satisfied. Honestly?

I want to dance to “Simple Kind of Man” at my wedding. A Mother and Son dance with me and your grandma. And if I can satisfy you and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime… Well, you can guess who the bride will be. Do I care for her, Braxton? Always.

Like I said to you all the time, “You and me always, and forever.” A song from Lynyrd Skynyrd and now The Wannadies. What’s wrong? Your Dad’s communication skills, Ha!

I haven’t communicated to the Carpenter Ant population that there kind ain’t welcome here. I swear I’m sounding like such a MAGA Cracker Hat. But I’ve only killed one today.

Ants Braxton, not people Ha-Ha.

And the day is still young. I could finally convince Virgil that he’s welcome here. He’s been here since Saturday, August 13, 2022. But he shakes, rattles, and rolls. Like father, like son. Does he ever talk to you when he’s all by his lonesome? How did I do this?

Braxton, how did I learn to speak your language? You had your four rules, and you lived by them for nearly sixteen years. And here I have the rest of my life. Or Existence, Braxton.

Bless you for reminding my son. I had to request time off for E-Day. Effing E-Day! The only good thing that ever happened on E-Day is meeting your Favorite Girl. I wish I could meet my Favorite Girl on E-Day.

You and Braxton’s stepmom, M Anime. That’s where my communication skills failed me, B. You weren’t the best at that either. Your Favorite Girl thought you wanted to eat her.

I wouldn’t mind eating your stepmom. I know B. Eww! You don’t want to hear that. But again, I’m not the best at communicating. You wanted to go home, and I sent you home. Your passing will always beat E-Day. Anyway, today your stepmom was sad, thinking I wanted her to go away, break up, end our friendship. With all the people in this world…

Braxton, I want her to be my always and forever. Dammit, I want to fill her up and name one of those two-leggeds after you. I want to tell her everything. Even more than you.

Really? Press B For Virgil

“Those words, those words, those words, they have power. They have more power than you ever imagined.” Jaxx, Play’d (2002)

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 047 ~Virgil’s Hints To Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

Nothing’s changed. It was a Sunday when B died. M Anime says the song “Sunday Morning” makes her think of me. I’m testing my phone. I sent M Anime a video of baby chicks. I’m still testing bug poisons. No end in sight. Virgil’s Hints To Braxton.

Sunday, August 17, 2025

Journey 047 ~Virgil’s Hints To Braxton~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Wow! Can you be any more direct? “Soy Un Perdedor?” M Anime wouldn’t appreciate you thinking that.

Who? Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom. She thinks of you as her dear friend, a hell of a lover, and a good father, when you decide to Close Your Eyes And Wander as Ernie Halter sings. Though she’s more for getting her Kim Petras on. “Treat Me Like A S*ut”

Do you remember the last time Braxton was so direct? Saturday, August 13, 2022, right.

You were standing in PetSmart. A white Chihuahua mix with black spots went potty. Honestly.

Three furry black spots to be exact. Two patches of Braxton’s fur coloring around his eyes. It was like hearing the voice of Braxton himself. “I can’t make this anymore black and white, Daddy.” Thus, “Archie” became Virgil, watching you fail these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 18: A Reverse Portal Fantasy by Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Well, I failed because this is the beginning of your week, and you’ve already failed.

Seriously, where are you today? You’re sitting at the Dining Room table, staring outside at the chewed-up shed, rushing to kill Carpenter Ants. Only two so far. Waking up? Breathing?

The fact that you have to tell yourself to keep breathing. Pretty awful sign, Fearing.

“Terrible thing to live in FEAR. Brooks Hatlen knew it. Knew it all too well. All I want is to be back where things make sense. Where I won’t have to be afraid all the time.”
The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

Morgan Freeman may have said some things you disagree with, but he got this right on the money. Which is one more thing you should be direct about. You ain’t got no money, friend. Have you checked on Braxton’s book “My Turn To B III”? You look directly at that like people turn directly to Jesus, and where does that get you? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 19: A Reverse Portal Fantasy by Logan Jacobs
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Goose Egg. Or like in Love of the Loveless, “Looking for and finding, Nothing.” Yet you believe. So did Sheriff Holston in “The Wool.” You continue “The Long Walk.” What is it with you and stories today? You were reading Backyard Dungeon 19. More HaremLit.

Actually, suppose anything is going to wear your eyes out. In that case, it will be staring out the back door, waiting, effing manifesting more problems. Speaking of manifesting, backdoors, and problems, there’s M Anime. How direct you were with her this morning. Why was that, hmm? Because you’re horny? Between crying, sweating, staring at M Anime’s yabbos, and the ending result. Don’t forget being covered in pesticides. Amazingly, this morning you aren’t headed directly to Braxton. Fears a sickness. But, Virgil’s Hints To Braxton.

1659 Days Without B III, Day 1100 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 044 ~Braxton’s Peace, Virgil’s Hope~

WillLeave a comment

When was my last truly peaceful sleep? Any afternoon when B sat at the corner of the bed, keeping my fears at bay. V tries. My last piece of… Um, my last woman. It was before B’s Favorite Girl got married. Such a time. Braxton’s Peace, Virgil’s Hope.

Thursday, August 14, 2025

Journey 044 ~Braxton’s Peace, Virgil’s Hope~

1656 Days Without B III, Day 1097 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My day, these days, feels like The Long Walk. That’s an appropriate book for you.

I wish I could have read it to you, Braxton. But have I even cried for you today, my friend?

I’m not sure. Let’s say I was leaking a different kind of fluid. First off, Eww! Secondly, no, I didn’t… Not really. You had your Favorite Girl with your Aunt. I have mine with you and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. She was feeling pretty naughty when I got up.

I know, I know, B. Can I stop talking about Daddy things, and especially Aunts or ants, for real? My eyes are like a pair of aching feet. Say what now? Up and down from the buttons I press to the wall outside, looking for those buggy bastards to strike again. I swear B III.

“Just make this go away.”
“Just one more peaceful day.”
It’s Been Awhile by Staind

“Don’t look down
Don’t feast your eyes on the things that are on the ground
And if it gets hard to focus
When you’re driving almost at the speed of sound
Feeling nowhere bound
Remember what I told you, and don’t you dare look down.”
― David Ryan Harris (2003)

All I want, Braxton, all I need besides you, M Anime’s yabbos, or Coldplay’s Yellow.

“Your skin, oh yeah, your skin, and bones
Turn into something beautiful
And you know, you know I love you so
You know I love you so”
Yellow by Coldplay

Seriously, so I’m supposed to be Neo now? “The One.” Don’t forget, that was your name for a couple of days. You were my little Neo, well, my sister’s before you decided to jump onto the bed and dig into a plate of Waffles. Or was it French Toast? And then you became Little Pancake. I must be hungry. That bag of Cheetos from the Day Job has me ill.

“Deus Ex Machina: What do you want?
Neo: Peace.”
― From The Matrix Revolutions (2003)

Honestly, your little brother pulls the same move. When I’m eating, he cuddles up with me with hope. “He’s My Son,” as Mark Schultz puts it. But that’s like comparing my sister and me to our Old Man. The Favorite.

I bet her house isn’t crumbling into pieces. And she’s not sitting somewhere watching for Carpenter Ants. Jeezu, am I right! No, I’m scared, I’m terrified. And I can hear you, Little B, Be Not So Fearful. Unfortunately, terrible nights lead to effing mornings breathing.

“Jeezu, protect my soul. Wash my sin and let me fly.
Jeezu, protect my soul. Wash my sin and let me shine”
― Jeymes Samuel

“Woke Up This Morning,” but I didn’t go all Tony Soprano. Again, I was staring at everybody else’s Yabbos, and then your stepmom sent some pictures sans her clothes and:

“So now, what should I do?
I’m strung out, addicted to you.
My body aches, now that you’re gone
My supply fell through.”
Akira Yamaoka

Pieces of the old me, Braxton. But I never liked who I was. Virgil and M Anime do try B.

But you were the wall, and I fell. I failed you. And now you’re my road of The Long Walk. I go, I crumble, wanting this. Braxton’s Peace, Virgil’s Hope.

“I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don’t know where it goes
But it’s home to me, and I walk alone.”
― Green Day

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 040 ~Under B’s Eye Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“You get a phone, you get a phone, everybody gets a phone,” my father said yesterday afternoon. So what have I seen on it? Where can I buy more Carpenter Ant poisons? Those baby chicks M Anime wants. Pictures of my furry boys. “Under B’s Eye Virgil.”

Sunday, August 10, 2025

Journey 040 ~Under B’s Eye Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… “Can you hear? Can you read? Are you receiving a signal? Do you copy me?” A song?

Really? You can’t see the song in your heart, the air in your lungs, or the courage in your loins. Can we talk about your balls and what you want M Anime to do to them later? Ha, your twig and berries! And on the subject of what you want in her mouth (rolls eyes), are you still eating? Today you saw your last Lucky Charms bar and ten sour candies. You must always protect your boys, Braxton and Virgil. Yeah, when Braxton was dying, he had stopped eating. And Virgil is only trying to impress. Being in bed beats everything else, I know. You were praying you wouldn’t have to rise, but Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, came a-calling. She doesn’t know about these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 4: (His Sorority Harem Book Four)… Bimbeau
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I am so sorry. Not for failing yet again. No! If you have one thing to do this week… WAR!

You have to win this war against the Carpenter Ant menace. That’s why you haven’t been eating too well this morning. Again, I am sorry. Caulk? But now you need a caulking gun, I swear to Braxton! You have something called Plastic Wood to “cover up” the damage. I got you more spray. And this morning, the porch is covered in Carpenter Ant corpses. To Hell with THEM!!! Do you remember what you’d tell B? You’re his human. His Dad.

“I’m your father. It is my job to protect you. It’s a job I refuse to quit, and at which I can’t afford to fail.” – Philip Banks, James Avery.

Speaking of being a father, did yours get you a new phone yesterday? And how did you repay him? Twenty-Four bucks? Failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 18: A Reverse Portal Fantasy by Logan Jacobs
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

What would he think if he saw the chewed-up door to the shed and the cadre of weapons you’ve been using? Well, I’ve been. The most you’ve done is smash a fly. What, Ant adjacent!

What would M Anime think if she saw you today? The house is a mess, and you fear you can’t defend the rubble. Virgil is less dog and more scaredy-cat, like father, like son. But B III’s courage never failed. And now, can we not talk about your fur buddies when thinking about the woman you want to make their two-legged siblings with? M Anime.

Eyes On The Prize, man. Black Man. Writer. M Anime’s Man. Braxton and Virgil’s father. Me. Under B’s Eye Virgil.

1652 Days Without B III, Day 1093 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 037 ~Don’t B Frontin’ Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Standing before God? Please! I’m pretty sure there isn’t one. And the only thing I’ve ‘manifested” besides bringing my boy back is B and V’s potential stepmom liking me. Having to face her, my boys, and the man in the mirror, Don’t B Frontin’ Virgil.

Thursday, August 7, 2025

Journey 037 ~Don’t B Frontin’ Virgil~

1649 Days Without B III, Day 1090 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Myself? I’ve cried. I didn’t get paid. Been humiliated. But allow me to be official:

To General Braxton Barks Bradford:
Here on the front lines… The Dining Room table overlooks the backyard. Our lines are holding steady. There has been no trace of the Carpenter Ant enemy in days, General. Though I am reluctant to claim victory. The Captain and I… Your little brother, Virgil.

We remain armed and ready to battle the invaders. Vigilant and prepared, all is stillness.

Yet the toll has been significant. A few inches of the shed door have been annihilated by the Carpenter Ant menace. Several more inches are heavily damaged. No casualties to report amongst the brave who fight to maintain your territory. Though both Virgil and I have received bites from our daily walks and skirmishes from those six-legged freaks, B III.

“We must meet the threat with our valor, our blood, indeed with our very lives to ensure that human (and dog) civilization, not insect, dominates this galaxy now and always!”
Sky Marshall Dienes, Starship Troopers

To Manager Braxton, Of Braxton’s Savings And Loans:
I know it’s been weeks since I made a deposit. It’s these times, Sir. And with the recent war effort… Not in Gaza, or the war the MAGA Cracker Hats have declared against the American people. I mean the war in “my” backyard, literally. Well my Olds backyard, anyway. The point is, I have been pouring resources into simply holding on B.

Much like Tom Waits singing you gotta “Hold On.” Or Luther from “Detroit Become Human,” I am holding on. And I ask for your patience and for your perseverance, Braxton.

Oh, you got to hold on, hold on
You gotta hold on
Take my hand, I’m standing right here, you gotta hold on
Tom Waits

“Hold on just a little while longer
Everything will be all right.”
Detroit Become Human

The strength you showed as you faced the end, Sunday, January 31, 2021. Your Euthanasia. I’m trying… be the body, not the shadow, hold space.

To Braxton, my firstborn son:
I would deny myself before I deny you anything. If you knew how many times I’ve sung the words of Mark Schultz’s song, He’s My Son. “Let me take his place somehow.” I would have taken your place, Braxton, without question. If anything, I should have followed “long ago, long ago, long ago.” You gave me nearly sixteen years of your life as a soldier, the one who held me accountable, and as my best friend. My little Braxton Barks.

Now I sacrifice everything for “family.” I care for you and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. And keeping Virgil alive, cutting off subscriptions to save money. Effing WWE channel changes! Anyway, I sit before you today. Don’t B Frontin’ Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad