Tuesday, April 7, 2026

Journey 280 ~Paws, Braxton And Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? From your head down to your toes? I do have a thing about feet, love.

But I’m still not ready to deal with the embarrassment from Monday, April 5, 2026.

Please, no man wants his woman to see him as weak. Bro code, Guy code, or the fact that you’re a “trad wife…” And the duty, honor, and privilege I have to acknowledge, Hell even before Breaking Bad, that “A Man Provides” and how I am trying My “Sweet Love.”

Ironic that I want to be as lustful as wanton, depraved as the Marquis de Sade. You married an effing sadist, baby girl. Yet I am as needy and as sensitive to say… My love…

Just sing to me Sade’s “By Your Side” or Peppermint Patty’s Poor Sweet Baby. That I am, love. Braxton and Virgil know this well enough.

I’ve called each one of them a little S.O.B. from time to time, which is technically true. But you are their stepmom (potentially). And I remember even calling you ‘that bit$h,’ you know from “Smokin Out The Window.” Maybe I should have taken off running.

Honestly, with what shoes? Again, that’s something for my therapist, Inspector Echo, tomorrow. B III would laugh his ass off. He hated wearing clothes. I’m just trying to keep 2-V on all four paws and provide for our family, which is why I suffered humiliations galore on Monday. “Close your eyes and spare yourself the view.” “Just A Man,” SIGH.

That I am, my love. How could I hurt you? By making you wear high heels? I like fuzzy socks.

But I still do like high heels or even sneakers. And long black boots. There are also stockings/thigh-highs and everything like those of that girl Hime from “Fechikano! And while we’re on the subject of blondes, weren’t we having a conversation about Soul Caliber and those blonde sisters? Beautiful blondes.

1. Cassandra Alexandra Soul Caliber Series
2. Sophitia Alexandra Soul Caliber Series
3. Fiona Belli, Haunting Ground
4. Ashley Graham, Resident Evil
5. Cassie PIB
6. Carly PIB
7. Alison Angel,
8. Hannah Harper, Porno

On top of being a sadist, I’m also a hedonist. My life is the pursuit of pleasure, where I will never partake in “The Long Walk” ever again. Braxton and my idea of Heaven, lying in bed surrounded by food. Pause… Paws, Braxton And Virgil

1892 Days Without B III, Day 1333 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tuesday, March 31, 2026

Journey 273 ~Braxton’s Cold, Virgil’s Code~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Even when I’m sick, skeevy, and especially when I’m scared out of my mind. Now?

Let me just say, I’ll feel ‘better’ when this effing month is over. I’ll love you more? I do that anyway. You know the man that you married. And every minute you choose to stay.

Preferably on your knees… I had to go there, didn’t I? Eww! But one more reason to like sex. You on your knees, hands and knees, bent over, on your back, on your belly, etc.

Seriously, am I so horny this morning after I… after we… um we’re “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit” Like Dennis Hof, I’m always looking for the next party until I’m ‘physically’ unable.

However, the question is how I feel today. Let’s stick with the physical. Dearest love.

Today, like most, I wish I felt like my Braxton.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Which one would you rather listen to? Me talking about how much I want to do you, my love… or fantasizing about us doing you, me, or us. Or me talking about doing myself so

So I can join my firstborn. How about Virgil still being here? And you? Our kids who may actually have a chance at joining the human race. And that in itself is “Killing Me Softly.”

Honestly, comedy comes in three, and today I’m waiting on three things with 99 Problems.

1. I’m waiting to join my Braxton with bated breath
2. I’m waiting for my existence to be utterly destroyed
3. I’m waiting to do something to save myself somehow.

“We’re allowed to make a lot of mistakes in our lives, except the mistake that destroys us.”
― Paulo Coelho

“It’s an awesome feeling to know you are about to change someone’s life forever.”
―

Homer had the right idea. “Tomorrow When The War Began.”

And here I am crying again. Yes, I’m in pain, and like Katniss Everdeen, you pull the best move, you know. Am I sick to enjoy the pain I inflict on you. Or sicker to admit that I need you for my mental, physical, and emotional pain. It breaks the bro code, guy code, hmm.

Gale: I knew you’d do that

Katniss: How I didn’t.

Gale: Cause I’m in pain. That’s the only way that I can get your attention
― The Hunger Games: Mockingjay

To say that I long to fall as my B did. “Baby, I Love You,” just leave me the eff alone. And at the same time, I beg you to stay with me during this “Mad Season.” Or Hell if I run, to follow me. I’m sick one minute, but A Man Provides in the next. It’s the code, forever.

That’s what I promised. The way. Braxton’s Cold, Virgil’s Code

1885 Days Without B III, Day 1326 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tuesday, March 24, 2026

Journey 266 ~Braxton Bowl, Virgil Cup~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? That means “Ready or Not,” I’ll give you everything and more. After 7? 10:24 AM

To be right on the money. For the Love of Money, as The O’Jays sing. How much does it cost to keep me, well us, in music, movies, and manuscripts, I wonder? I should really give it a think with this financial situation. “A Man Provides” even while Breaking Bad.

As bad as I was, keeping Braxton’s food and water bowls filled for years after his passing away. Euthanasia? Murder? Hell! It was only a year and some change, Sunday, January 31, 2021, Braxton’s gone. Saturday, August 13, 2022, Virgil arrives. But his own bowl…

Honestly, I couldn’t even do that for V, and I had a lot more cash. But an empty cup, love.

Then, what’s with all our two-legged Rugrats running all over?

And I love’em. I love you. Hell! I was walking Virgil this morning, and I swear I saw a brown doggo much bigger than him. My “Mind Playing Tricks On Me.” My eyes, to be specific. But I’m not dumb enough to believe MAGA. Eff the Cracker Hats and FDT. But anyway with Virgil, “so I grabbed him up and run him out of there,” like I was Forrest Gump. And here’s my point. Every day when I think I’m “All Out Love,” there’s more.

My love, I keep scooping, pouring, dishing it out. The AI says that the love I have for my two furry sons just multiplies to you, our two-legged children, to “A Whole New World that I’m existing in. Obsessing over.

You’re my “Obsession.” But it’s like “I Love You Too Much.” And that’s not a bad thing, my love, no, not ever. Hell! I love Braxton forever and always. But it’s like I was saying yesterday about choosing the wrong battlefield. I love you enough to love myself. Or try.

I hate myself. And as much love as I have to give you, my boys, our loves, and even more.

There’s nothing left for me. In pornographic terms… I’ve been thinking about Bible Black: New Testament, or was it Bible Black Only? Whatever! Anyway, it’s like those women draining that guy of his fluids. He has fun, but he’s left a shell. That’s me today. Love, it’s too much, I’m toxic… Braxton Bowl, Virgil Cup

“Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink.”
The Rime of the Ancient Mariner

1878 Days Without B III, Day 1319 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tuesday, March 17, 2026

Journey 259 ~V Times Love Braxton~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But I still hate Math. And how am I on the whole Nuclear family? Tradition!

Like Family Night watching UPN when I was a boy. Remind me that we should watch “Fiddler on the Roof” for our next movie night, especially the “Tradition” song. Family and Movie night. When I became a man… A Dad, to B III and then to his lil’ bro Virgil.

“When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: But when I became a man, I put away childish things.”
1 Corinthians 13:11 Bible

How do I love my boys, my sons? For five years, I have mourned for my firstborn son. I did what no father, no parent should ever have to do. Four legs and all, but he is still my son. For four years, I have tried to figure out how to love his little brother. But both Braxton and Virgil once upon a time sat here with me watching movies, even with Braxton’s Favorite Girl.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

And you? If Braxton could fall in love with his Favorite Girl, I’m sure he would love you, too. Virgil treats love as the scariest thing. It gives me mixed feelings about that song “I Will Follow You Into the Dark.” The line “Fear is the heart of love.” I don’t believe that is the case. But at the same time, I believe love itself should be scary because there’s just too much. Remember how I said the Nuclear family. However, not like Trump’s MAGA!

Effing Cracker Hats, FDT! But the whole “You and Me” 2.5 kids, white picket fence… Five times the love ain’t enough. 99 ½ won’t do. The Wannadies and even Carol Lynn Townes fall short. Love encompasses everything. It conquers hate.

Lust? Trust me, I’m trying to get into that, but yesterday I was working with AI, and it was creating this whole story about love and my anima. Three to be exact. How even in the dark universe, which is… Takes a breath. MORTAL KOMBAT! I cultivated love, my love.

But you represent fire, a phoenix. You’re the gardener, not me, but doesn’t fire help things grow in some sort of way? And the fact that we talk a lot about us having more children.

My lust and love for you only produce more love. Whatever do such lusts entail? Honestly? Ravishment, Kojin Taxi 2/Sex Taxi 5’s Kyouko Sakai, a blonde gymnast, Desperate Carnal Housewives, Bible Black: New Testament: Movie Nights. V Times Love Braxton.

1871 Days Without B III, Day 1312 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tuesday, March 10, 2026

Journey 252 ~B Gets Sprung, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I’m talking Wayne World’s “Schwing,” Beavis’s “Boinggg,” and Quagmire’s “giggity.” Hopeless romantic, I am not.

But “Hopelessly Devoted To You.” “Always And Forever” like the Heatwave here. Then again, I haven’t been outside yet. Virgil has been a much better sleeper than I have over the last few days. And according to my “therapist,” Braxton would be telling me to “get your head out of your ass, Dad.” My firstborn son had balls. Unfortunately, Virgil lost his before I adopted him. Is that what I want to talk about at 4:40 AM today? Dog balls?

Love, I’d rather be back in bed with you. And if I must be awake, I know a few things…

Baby Girl, it would really help with the Blue Balls. Who am I, Jackson Avery from “Pledged To Him 10”? What about pet loss books?

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“You Always Hurt The One You Love.” Ain’t that the truth! Braxton has been dead for five years. Virgil has been here since Saturday, August 13, 2022. You and I have been married how long again? I’m more juvenile than our children. And being the “Perverter of Prose,” (see I remembered) that I am. My junk, springing to attention. I haven’t been with you or myself in the last few days. Eight days in fact. Hence, the Blue Balls situation.

Don’t get ‘cocky’! Braxton died, and I went without for 161 days, then all it took was Chloe Grace Moretz rubbing her legs… What? Am I supposed to be any less of a man, darling?

“Hush, hush, darling. Don’t tell me ‘cause it hurts.” Really?

No Doubt. “Nickel for my thoughts, dimes in my bed…” You’re all that and more, my love. “I only think of you on two occasions. That’s day and night.” Day “N’ Nite. How many songs is that? Does it matter? I can’t break free. I can’t be sprung from… whatever.

And that’s what I’ve been working through in my “therapy.” You would say “Shadow Work.” Your anima, General Xu, Boss, Associate. Demons? Mine? You, my wife/phoenix, Kyouko Sakai from Sex Taxi 5/Kojin Taxi 2, and the lily white blonde ha.

This fantasy has sprung up for days on end and continues to bloom. Cherry Blossoms. Lilies. But, “you are my fire. The one desire.” Putting you out with my Blue Balls. B Gets Sprung, Virgil.

1864 Days Without B III, Day 1305 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will