Tag: Fatherhood

Journey 077 ~Aisles B, V, M~

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Holding my boys’ leashes, holding my woman’s hand, holding my kids who can’t walk yet. Hell! I would settle for holding enough cash to afford a proper meal. But I’m busy holding all this FEAR because it’s not selling. Like my book ha… Aisles B, V, M.

Tuesday, September 16, 2025

Journey 077 ~Aisles B, V, M~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Enough to take “The Long Walk” down the aisle to wait for you. I’m waiting.

“I had hoped we could have made it [to] the altar.” M Anime, Aug 24th

You’re waiting. Still waiting for me to stop playing Charlie Kirk. You know, saying STUPID sh*t about… How do THEY say these days, being “unalived?” I wonder if Inspector Echo thinks that a sin. Why should I care? I’m not a religious man, my love.

Once upon a time, I was an Atheist. Then I became a father for the first time. B III’s dad.

And as I contemplate the things I need to buy to save my life. My Old Man called. But I’ve been thinking about places where I feel Braxton’s soul the most. One of those places is an aisle in PetSmart, next to Virgil’s food and Banfield, where Braxton passed away.

Love, I should have joined him and not just watched.

I watched and waited and walked that aisle alone, carrying what was left of existence. And you walked down the aisle with or without your father. I’ve forgotten, maybe.

Beloved, all I know is you were coming to claim what I had left. All that I was willing to give to you freely. Is it too much? Today is Friday, September 12, 2025. Effing heavy.

Darling, I’ve been weighed down in this chair all day long except for emergencies. Ha! Again with “The Long Walk.” “He just kept picking them up and laying them down.”

Our kids, my feet, and I want to say my FEAR. No FEAR is the one thing I don’t need to shop for today. It’s free, unlike me. I can’t.

“You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting.”
Daniel 5:27, The Book of Daniel

Even when I sit down to watch a movie. I hated my childhood, but to be as carefree as a kid again, going to Video Express or Blockbuster. Am I showing my age, “Forty-One” ha!

“Ben-Hur,” “The Long Walk,” and, to add a movie to the list, “Exit 8.” I’m “The Lost Man.” And I look at you going down every aisle, hallway, and threshold, and I close my eyes and wonder. Are you the anomaly? Should I turn around and run away, my love?

“Give me one reason to stay here, and I’ll turn right back around.” It’s what you’re singing to me. And even if I found that reason, is it diapers, milk, and bread, or a drink? Myself? Aisles B, V, M.

1689 Days Without B III, Day 1130 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 075 ~Braxton and Virgil’s Ways~

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Don’t count your chickens before they hatch. Will M Anime’s new man buy her chickens? He’s getting her a farm or something. But me being a good “boyfriend,” CUCK showed her a video of baby chicks. This Is The Way, NOT! Braxton and Virgil’s Ways.

Sunday, September 14, 2025

Journey 075 ~Braxton and Virgil’s Ways~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And while I am no doctor and can’t call your time of death (unfortunately). You’ve already failed.

I’m not your judge or jury, just a guy “trying hard not to smile, though I feel bad.” It’s been “One Week” “Forty-One.” (Cue Ben-Hur galley drums). Way to kill the vibe. Yeah, you’ll be here all week with Barenaked Ladies. More like pictures of actual ladies sans clothing. M Anime, Braxton’s Favorite Girl… Cherry? Don’t you wish? Honestly, SIGH.

There’s the “Possibility.” Well, no. But I think I found a way to save your life. I know, I know, why! But it wasn’t like you were going to die of a broken heart. Not soon enough anyway. Braxton’s been gone four years. And the fourth week without M Anime, sorry to say. And here’s some “Dumb Ways To Die” for you. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Babysitter Harem 1 and 2: Hannah and Chloe MFFF Menage
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 009 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

The shed is effed either way you look at it. Your Old Man may look at it. You’re “Forty-One,” still worried he’ll beat you to a pulp, and without B III here. What about Virgil?

You hope Virgil has you as a father after Thursday. “Runnin'” (Dying to Live). Seriously.

That’s what it means to exist. You’ve been breathing for six hours, and if I gave you a button to press and you could go back to sleep and never wake up, you’d push it.

You’re not scared of death; you’re horrified at the prospect of pain. It’s like drowning.

Speaking of which, toxic chemicals, filling holes, and not the fun kind. White wood filler?

Become addicted to alcohol, painkillers, or something. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As Yet To Be Determined
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because reading about harems is not doing the trick, do you realize how close you were to that? Well, not really. But think about it. You have/had three girls. There’s Braxton’s Favorite Girl, then Cherry, and once upon a time, M Anime. Then you read about a story, well, many stories, but let’s focus on Kelli Wolfe’s MFFF fantasy. Finally, M Anime tells you that she’s going to be the third wife of some Cuban man, but money’s no issue.

Excuse the sh*t out of my GD French, but what the eff! You can ask yourself that because again, you’re still here, and you don’t plan to die, taking Virgil for a walk this morning.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

Reasons to live. But the way? Braxton and Virgil’s Ways.

1687 Days Without B III, Day 1128 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 070 ~Braxton’s My Lookout Virgil~

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Should’ve watched Don’t Look Up on E-Day. B would look up at me, and to me literally. But his little brother V… Not so much. Like father, like son. I can’t stand to look in the mirror. And the girl I thought saw me. Nah. “Braxton’s My Lookout Virgil”

Tuesday, September 9, 2025

Journey 070 ~Braxton’s My Lookout Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Hell, I haven’t seen Braxton in four years. But I’m Whitney Houston or Dolly Parton.

I Will Always Love You. I will always love my sons, Braxton and Virgil. I will always love our children. I’ll Always Love My Mama. And I will always love you. But who are you?

I’ve been asking myself the same question since E-Day has come and gone. I’m forty-one.

And I’m the guy who still hears the drumbeat of the galley slaves from the 1959 film, Ben-Hur. Or is that the beating of my “Hideous Heart.” I’m still not Edgar Allen Poe, my love.

It could be my footsteps during “The Long Walk.” Forty-one years, and I don’t have Ray Garraty’s heart. And while I’m not a MAGA Cracker Hat, I wish I could sing as Kid Rock did. “So I think I’ll keep a walkin’, with my head held high. I’ll keep movin’ on. And only God knows why.” But I’m not looking for God. I’m looking for you, I’m looking at you.

And I’ve been thinking about everything I didn’t say I wanted for E-Day on Sunday, September 7, 2025. Emergence, Existence, Extinction, Evolution… God so much Effing. I Want You in a Bob Dylan way, via James Blunt. Looking at you is worth a 1000 Words.

And I want you to seek me out like Final Fantasy X and X-2. Yuna and her aeons, the truth, her love. Once upon a time, you told me that you would. The plan, honestly.

Dearest love, I wonder if you even know what the truth is anymore. Forty-One love.

Perhaps I should say Forty-Love because I still was when I saw “Always and Forever.”

Love, I can still hear “Heatwave,” and I can always see you, but you’re looking unfamiliar to me. I hate looking at myself, but all I have created. The love I instilled in my boys.

Braxton and Virgil. They allow me to see the man I want to be. And the one who failed them. And now I look at you and again I think of “The Long Walk,” Jan? No, you’re one in the Crowd. Julia? No, you’re the Party. I hate people, but I love you. I want to. I want to see someone worthy of love. Which is why, with forty-one years now. Braxton’s My Lookout Virgil

1682 Days Without B III, Day 1123 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 068 ~E-Day, HAPPY B, V~

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Did I wake up horny? I have a stomachache, 80% Blue Balls, 20% pesticides. And while we’re on the subject of numbers, Uh-oh! Guess what day it is! SIGHS, it’s E-Day. Lvl 41. And don’t you dare say Happy Whatever. But I Have A Dream E-Day, HAPPY B, V.

Sunday, September 7, 2025

Journey 068 ~E-Day, HAPPY B, V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror…Okay, here we are! Forty-One! Level 41! No Six Impossible Things. No dangerous words. What’s your perfect day?

Today, I am awake. I am alive. I am not afraid. And I am happy.

I can’t say I woke up naturally… What’s more natural than waking up with the sun cascading around my body and my wonderful wife’s mouth wrapped around me? Oh my God! She told me that she wanted to “suck” better than any woman I’d been with before. So mission accomplished.

And just in time too, as we forgot to lock the door, and BB comes in. Oh, Braxton, my Braxton. My firstborn furry at the age of twenty gave me his “I’m too old for this shit” look. His two-legged brother is holding him tightly. Then there are the twins.

Leia holds a trembling Virgil. Luke rubs the sleep from his eyes, saying he can’t reach the breakfast in the hall. M Anime finally rises.

After breakfast in bed with my family, we head to the beach. Braxton tries to relax, but he’s busy leading his brother on guard duty. My wife plays with the children while I play businessman and look up fun facts. Did you know Roger Murtaugh (Danny Glover) was 41 when he first said, “I’m too old for this shit?” And I “Take A Look At My Life,” like I’m Fat Joe or somebody. While I’m not Puerto Rican, I did marry a Puerto Rican woman.

Today, that woman of mine is pulling out of my beach chair as the nanny comes walking by in her bikini, looking like she’s from Michael Dalton’s Bikini Days series. M said she had a “sex on the beach” fantasy.

Fortunately, the kids, two-legged and four-legged, saw none of that. Though they did see me blow out the candles later on back at the house. And since my wife had her fantasy fulfilled, I have a few of my own. There’s a reason I have a thing for HaremLit. And one of my favorite songs is “Thirteen Women (And Only One Man In Town)” by Bill Haley & His Comets. I even wrote about this fantasy in “Nightmare At The Meat Market.” Who am I?

I’m a best-selling author, a director, and a producer. I run a brothel. I’m a husband, a father, and I’m surrounded by women’s:

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

In this moment, I am happy. I think I like this little life. E-Day, HAPPY B, V.

1680 Days Without B III, Day 1121 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 063 ~B Where E-Day Virgil~

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I don’t want to hear the ticking of the clock. Hell! I don’t want to listen to my own breath. It’s been over a week since I talked to “HER.” And B would be busy stuffing his face on E-Day. And I can’t buy a feast for V on Sunday. B Where E-Day Virgil

Tuesday, September 2, 2025

Journey 063 ~B Where E-Day Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And that scares me. I don’t fear loving myself because I just can’t. Braxton? Virgil?

The only time I feared loving my boys was Braxton at the end of his life. And Virgil, at the beginning of his life here with me. A father shouldn’t have favorites. But my Braxton?

Braxton was/is my boy. Will I love Virgil as much? Should I make that my E-Day wish this year? I was taking a nap this afternoon, Monday, September 1, 2025, hoping I wouldn’t have to wake up. But “Here I Am” wishing for my boys, myself your Will. But Wife.

Baby doll, darling, my dear wife. Ever since Sunday, August 24, 2025, this E-Day. Eff!

“Here And Now,” it’s looking to be the worst since the very first, and this one I’ll be “Forty-One”. I looked up the thirty-seventh E-Day.

Tuesday, September 7, 2021 Chronicle 068 ~B III The Emergence~ It was merely a wish list of thirty-seven things that I wanted. I never imagined I’d question these things, love:

  1. To fix my fucking mouth once and for all
  2. To never be told or feel like I’m STUPID
  3. To know Manhood as in never calling my father
  4. One single day without fear of anything at all
  5. A method to forget the things that distress me
  6. Three little words, “I Love You,” and mean it
  7. To look in the mirror and not hate myself

Regarding you. Ask me how I know I’m not MAGA, one of those Effing Cracker Hats. I don’t wake up intending to hurt anyone, love.

Okay, in Fifty Shades of Grey, Secretary (2002), Cool Devices: Yellow Star, and any of my novels, sort of way. Yes, I want to hurt you. I’m just a “Sucker For Pain.” I want you “Closer” I wanna fuck you like an animal. “I want to fucking tear you apart.” All of it love. “And isn’t it ironic, don’t you think?” The fact that I hate the day of my birth with every fiber of my being. I was counting on being with you, saying we’ve created life. My Creed.

Darling, “With Arms Wide Open,” with my eyes wide open, if I thought you’d hear me. But you didn’t, Nobody Knows it but me” Yet you’re my “Obsession.” Still beats E-Day. B Where E-Day Virgil

1675 Days Without B III, Day 1116 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 061 ~B Quiet Virgil, E-Day~

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Did I mention I hate Sundays? Yep. Much like B’s Death… which was on a Sunday. Last Sunday, my GF broke up with me. This Sunday is “The Calm Before.” Look up The Walking Dead. Next Sunday will be the second-worst day of my life. B Quiet Virgil, E-Day

Sunday, August 31, 2025

Journey 061 ~B Quiet Virgil, E-Day~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you look even worse than I did around this time last week. Let’s refresh your memory:

~Sunday, August 24, 2025
6.17 AM M Anime: Wishing I could just fuck with you right now.

6:19 AM Me: I’m still hard for you

M Anime: Good morning, Will! I do hope you’re okay in your part of the world. Here I’m a bit sad. Having lustful thoughts. And somehow managing.

THE BREAKUP

12:19 PM M Anime: But the silence and the looks that would hang in between…~

SILENCE

Congratulations, you’re not looking at the past, i.e., B’s death. You’re not looking at the future. E-Day is next Sunday. But “Here And Now” as Luther Vandross sings. Last week.

Whatever, the fact of the matter is, you haven’t spoken to M Anime since then.

Honestly, what does that mean? Winning these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 5: An Unconventional Romance – Neil Bimbeau
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 009 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Yeah, I think not. However, I completed number four. You know exactly why that is.

Though I know you’ve been having a HARD time this morning. I know. Right, seriously.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

Yeah, yeah, you’re almost broke. You are broke and broken. And today you should be looking at yourself. What am I talking about? I’ve been doing that all week. You’re still you, and what did you have to show for it? The jury is still out considering it’s nearly the “1st of Tha Month. Tomorrow. And again come this time next week, Judah Ben-Hur… Um

“Your eyes are full of hate, forty-one. That’s good. Hate keeps a man alive. It gives him strength.”
Quintus Arrius

“It’s a strange, stubborn faith you keep. To believe that existence has a purpose! A sane man would have learned to lose it long before this.”

“As you have. What drove it out of you?”

“Go back to your oar, Forty-One.”
Quintus Arrius And Ben-Hur

Whoever the gods are, they take small interest in an old man’s hopes.
Quintus Arrius

Will, you’ll be “Forty-One.” So back to your oar. But not yet. Virgil can wait another moment or two. Ants, Mosquitos, these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Whatever I Can Get With Kindle Points. Some Are Pending
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 009 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You didn’t have anything special for these things last year. So again you’ll be lazy.

Perhaps, you will come up with something since you’ll be talking to your “Forty-One,” year-old self. And for reference, you’re hearing the voice of Quintus Arrius, the Roman Consul in the 1959 film Ben-Hur. He called Ben-Hur “Forty-One,” referring to his seat/slave number. And that’s your life. A slave, a sucker, and skeevy as all hell. Effing worthless! Beats silence.

That’s one more E to add to E-Day, Emergence, Existence, Extinction, who’s not getting Effed. Not by M Anime or anyone else. Hell! The last time? B’s Favorite Girl’s Wedding?

Sometime in 2019. Your favorite girl, M Anime, is getting married to someone else next year. Shall I wish you Good Luck? Stay Alive. But, first, B Quiet Virgil, E-Day.

“I miss her
And I’m telling her
with all the silence
I am capable of.”
Charles Bukowski

1673 Days Without B III, Day 1114 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 056 ~B’s Not Gone V~

WillLeave a comment

Allow me to get my Lisa Loeb on. “You say, I only hear what I want to.” Don’t use a condom. “Ok.” Maybe I’ll get pregnant. “Ok, I ain’t got no money but I’m with you.” Three kids, V, cats. “Ok, bring it on.” I’m marrying someone else! B’s Not Gone V.

Tuesday, August 26, 2025

Journey 056 ~B’s Not Gone V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But who are you? Who am I? Most days, I’m a dead man walking. Today?

Hell, every day! Honestly, at this moment, I’m a Dog Dad. Braxton’s gone. Virgil remains.

“I’m still breathing, I’m still breathing. I’m alive!”
Alive, Sia

“Look at me! I’m life. I live… I, I breathe… I feel. Now that you know it… can you really take it? Is it really worth the price?”
Equilibrium (2002)

I promised my boy that I would always feel because it was my Indifference that killed him. I was so busy trying to protect him from “This Animal I Have Become.” It happened every day at the Day Job. But that was then, this is now… Sunday, August 24, 2025.

Blessed with children, right? RIGHT! Not just the memory of my Braxton. I’m not only a Dog Dad to Virgil. We talked about this. A son I would name after my ‘firstborn’, my Braxton. Luke and Leia? If we had three daughters, I wanted them to be named after “Girls on Fire,” Katniss, Tris, and Ember. Link? Maybe Zelda. Names.

My name is Will and I was born… No! It still isn’t E-Day yet. I’m still forty, not forty-one yet. But again, it’s not E-Day yet. We’re still talking about Sunday, August 24, 2025, ok?

The day you looked at me and what? I’m guilty, sure enough. Geez, “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus,” they’ll say. As far as being a great writer. I’m always and forever effing trying!

But I’ve been sitting here all day looking at myself, thinking you’re getting your Toni Braxton on “He wasn’t man enough for me.” I mean, I see my body, and today you decided to do this? I wouldn’t have blamed you. But you want children, a big family. Effing same!

Fatherhood is the epitome of Manhood.

But I don’t know who I’m looking at anymore. Every effing horror within this universe.

You’re the woman I want. As much as I want to hate you, “I’m still in love, Sho’nuff in love with you, hey.” I’m not Al Green and I ain’t Barry White either, “Never, never gonna give you up.” Now I sound like some MAGA Cracker Hat, a cuck, or a creep, don’t you think?

Communication, right? You were constantly saying we needed communication. Today… Today, I can’t fix this. I can’t see you as my ride or die one minute and tell myself, “you wake up and suddenly you’re in love.” And just like that, you’re gone. Braxton didn’t.

Seriously, though, for want of children. B’s Not Gone V

1668 Days Without B III, Day 1109 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 054 ~E-Day, B III Virgil~

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I hate Sundays again. I don’t believe in God. But where did my B go? How’d I find an angel? Why am I fighting so hard to save the house? B’s on the Rainbow Bridge. I couldn’t build a Heaven for M Anime. Even the BUGS said Damn! “E-Day, B III Virgil.”

Sunday, August 24, 2025

Journey 054 ~E-Day, B III Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… You’ve looked way better, man. “What Do You Wanna Talk About?” E-Day, Happy Death Day, and TODAY!

We should start with B and V’s potential stepmom M Anime. Oh, she’s not anymore.

Effing hell you say! That’s the one thing I have over you today. I had her but we’ll get there. You have to start with the second worse day of your existence. Today’s pretty bad!

But what is E-Day? Some want to know. Um, artificial intelligence anyway but you know.

E-Day stands for Emergence Day. Following your ‘Rule of Three’ There is Emergence, Existence, and Extinction. There is also a newer ‘fourth’ for Evolution/Evolve, too.

Emergence Day much like BLM (Braxton’s Life Matters) was taken from pop culture. In this case the Gears Of War franchise to represent your Emergence from Hell. So yeah your birthday. Failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 19: A Reverse Portal Fantasy by Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

You’ll be failing them next week and then your successor will fail the next. Emergence?

It’s so close. And for the record, the worse day of existence will forever be, the day that Braxton died. And how many times must we go over that? Eff I’m beginning to believe even the BUGS are laying off the wall today. Give a broken hearted man some leeway.

Let’s continue talking about that man. Let’s talk about you. You could be “The 40-Year-Old Virgin.” You don’t believe in God but the FACT that Braxton went to Heaven, that your body count is a dozen tops, and that you haven’t downed an acetaminophen bottle.

“If there’s a God up there
Somethin’ above
God, shine your light down here
Shine on the love
Love of the loveless”
Eels – 2003

Between Braxton’s Favorite Girl and Virgil needing a father. A Dad failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 5: An Unconventional Romance – Neil Bimbeau
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

That brings us to the third worse moment of existence, beating out getting the Day Job and the day you and Braxton fought your Old Man. That was love, Brotherhood.

However, M Anime… No longer the stepmom, the ‘sexy thing’ the would be your S*ut.

Harsh? You’d say all out of love but if you want to talk about harsh. “You wake up and suddenly you’re in love,” only for that woman not only to say it’s over but she’s getting married to someone else and why? She wants children. You! The man that treats Braxton and Virgil as such. Who screamed Fatherhood is the epitome of Manhood. Buying that?

Look at yourself. Your Ma ripped you out (C-Section). Emergence Day. E-Day, B III Virgil

“Your black, you’re poor, you’re ugly, you’re a (man), you’re nothing at all!”
The Color Purple

“Your eyes are full of hate, forty-one. That’s good. Hate keeps a man alive. It gives him strength.”
Ben-Hur (1959)

1666 Days Without B III, Day 1107 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 049 ~What’s Bugging B, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

What bugs me the most these days? B’s still gone. It’s not wearing a hoodie and carrying Virgil a third of the way on our walks. Effing BUGS! Or checking him after. Or even effing MAGA Cracker Hats. It’s the back wall. “What’s Bugging B, Virgil”

Tuesday, August 19, 2025

Journey 049 ~What’s Bugging B, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Do I love you enough to STAY? Honestly, “I’m so high, I can hear Heaven.”

But I am no “Hero” as Chad Kroeger sings. Hell! I’m not even Todd Masterson from “Succubus Lord” laying off the wacky tobacky, weed, and the Devil’s Lettuce. Speaking of which, should I lay off the HaremLit novels? I’m on Backyard Dungeon 19, my love.

I’m nearly finished… It is finished… “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus,” I tell myself as I pretend I’m telling you. As I said, I’m high enough to talk to my firstborn son B III. Gone four long years. And then I talk back to him. And let’s not forget about 2-V sitting here.

I’m sure I’m bugging him, jumping up and down, scanning the shed wall. I’m not going to talk about ‘THEM’ today. I’m already annoyed enough.

And not in an I miss Braxton jumping on my head kind of way. Or a Starship Troopers Sugar Watkins “Just trying to kill some bugs, sir,” sort of mood. And dammit, I wish I could stop touching my face. I feel like I’m in 2011’s “Contagion.” Effing Pop Culture!

When I spend every day breathing in toxins, trying to save our home. It’s no wonder I feel so sick. And it gives me plenty of downtime. Not really. But I don’t want to look at the backyard anymore. My B’s territory. No wonder I turn to our two-legged children.

And speaking of territory, my love, you touch me and whisper, “There’s the man I chose
There’s my territory.” Sweetheart.

“You’re a song written by the hands of God.”
Shakira

And you’re not bugging me in the slightest. No baby doll, it’s those “Three Little Birds,” pitch by my doorstep. Ours? Mine because I can’t blame this failure on you. A man provides, protects, and “Pop’s the P—sy.” Seriously, must I be so vulgar… “Rise up this mornin’. Smiled with the risin’ sun.” I haven’t done that in weeks, maybe months, my “Sweet Love.” I mean, not woken up with tears in my eyes. We were making Sweet Love listening to Anita Baker last night. One more reason I wanted to stay, my beloved.

Honestly, I hate this effing wall I’m looking at. And I don’t want to cry, spray more chemicals, or cringe. I just want to close my eyes and find my Braxton. What’s Bugging B, Virgil?

1661 Days Without B III, Day 1102 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 047 ~Virgil’s Hints To Braxton~

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Nothing’s changed. It was a Sunday when B died. M Anime says the song “Sunday Morning” makes her think of me. I’m testing my phone. I sent M Anime a video of baby chicks. I’m still testing bug poisons. No end in sight. Virgil’s Hints To Braxton.

Sunday, August 17, 2025

Journey 047 ~Virgil’s Hints To Braxton~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Wow! Can you be any more direct? “Soy Un Perdedor?” M Anime wouldn’t appreciate you thinking that.

Who? Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom. She thinks of you as her dear friend, a hell of a lover, and a good father, when you decide to Close Your Eyes And Wander as Ernie Halter sings. Though she’s more for getting her Kim Petras on. “Treat Me Like A S*ut”

Do you remember the last time Braxton was so direct? Saturday, August 13, 2022, right.

You were standing in PetSmart. A white Chihuahua mix with black spots went potty. Honestly.

Three furry black spots to be exact. Two patches of Braxton’s fur coloring around his eyes. It was like hearing the voice of Braxton himself. “I can’t make this anymore black and white, Daddy.” Thus, “Archie” became Virgil, watching you fail these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 18: A Reverse Portal Fantasy by Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Well, I failed because this is the beginning of your week, and you’ve already failed.

Seriously, where are you today? You’re sitting at the Dining Room table, staring outside at the chewed-up shed, rushing to kill Carpenter Ants. Only two so far. Waking up? Breathing?

The fact that you have to tell yourself to keep breathing. Pretty awful sign, Fearing.

“Terrible thing to live in FEAR. Brooks Hatlen knew it. Knew it all too well. All I want is to be back where things make sense. Where I won’t have to be afraid all the time.”
The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

Morgan Freeman may have said some things you disagree with, but he got this right on the money. Which is one more thing you should be direct about. You ain’t got no money, friend. Have you checked on Braxton’s book “My Turn To B III”? You look directly at that like people turn directly to Jesus, and where does that get you? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 19: A Reverse Portal Fantasy by Logan Jacobs
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Goose Egg. Or like in Love of the Loveless, “Looking for and finding, Nothing.” Yet you believe. So did Sheriff Holston in “The Wool.” You continue “The Long Walk.” What is it with you and stories today? You were reading Backyard Dungeon 19. More HaremLit.

Actually, suppose anything is going to wear your eyes out. In that case, it will be staring out the back door, waiting, effing manifesting more problems. Speaking of manifesting, backdoors, and problems, there’s M Anime. How direct you were with her this morning. Why was that, hmm? Because you’re horny? Between crying, sweating, staring at M Anime’s yabbos, and the ending result. Don’t forget being covered in pesticides. Amazingly, this morning you aren’t headed directly to Braxton. Fears a sickness. But, Virgil’s Hints To Braxton.

1659 Days Without B III, Day 1100 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will