Sunday, June 29, 2025

Meditation 363 ~When Braxton Kinged Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you’re willing your head to hurt. You don’t want to look at yourself. I didn’t either.

But it will be your curse for this week. Don’t worry, you only have to go out once or twice.

Day Job, Gas, Store… With what money? If you think you look bad, take a gander at your Day Job schedule. Better yet, take a peek at your bank account. Or how about B’s story?

Braxton is dead. That is the worst thing you’ve ever seen. He was so beautiful, even in death. No wonder you wanted to pack it in. Ah, yes, you needed some tears today. B III.

“You’re leaving me, Rainbow Girl.”
― Karen Marie Moning, Dreamfever

You’re neither a girl nor gay (nothing wrong with rainbows) nor a “happy” boy. But tears, sweat, lube, and what color is Capri Sun? Anyway, the clarity reveals everything. How I Failed Six Impossible Things:

1. I WILL BE VIEWING Captive of the Beast Men: Monster Caveman Erotica, Kelli Wolfe
   Completed
2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
   Failed
3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
   Failed
4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 038, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
   Completed (Day 045* No Fap)
5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
   Failed
6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
   Failed

And I’ve made things even worse for you. I wish I could have left you a Crown. Hell Crowns if we were talking about the Lords of the Realm II universe. You could use the gold right now. “I could really use a wish right now,” you’re telling yourself. The sky is falling down on you. “When the Stars Go Blue,” they fall, too. “Airplanes,” as well. “Don’t Look Up,” huh. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. You never asked for this. True.

You feel overwhelmed. Like you’ll overflow, and you want it all to be over. It’s your first day, and still, you’re carrying on with “Feeling super, super (super!) su*cidal,” right?

You’re no Teen Idle capable of doing Six Impossible Things:

1. I WILL BE VIEWING As yet to be determined
2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 045* No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

So what was Braxton thinking when he tapped his little brother, Virgil? He didn’t gain B III’s crown but a cross. Lay down his burden, “Down By The Riverside.” He needs to go “Down To The River To Pray.” Do dogs have knees… If 2-V had even that small mercy.

Speaking of somebody being on their knees, Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. Yes, you’re crude, a “Creep” in a Radiohead sort of way. And you want to cum as hard as that guy did in “Blow Slow Talin” from Reality Kings. A man of taste, I see. Nope!

You’re just a pretender. Long Live The King? On $11.00? Long Live The Prince. Because you lost your head long ago. When Braxton Kinged Virgil.

1610 Days Without B III, Day 1051 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Sunday, June 22, 2025

Meditation 356 ~Braxton IS WOKE, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I’m far from the one keeping you “awake and alive” In Your Eyes. Where is Braxton?

Easier question. Where is Virgil? You didn’t wake up crying thanks to Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. But yes, you did cry a little later. But again, Virgil.

Well, he had breakfast and was in such a rush to get back to “your” room he promptly puked all over the carpet. Eww! “Better out than in, I always say.” But I’m not Shrek.

That’s like saying you aren’t Peter Gabriel. How about Post Malone or Swae Lee as in “Sunflower”? You’re thinking about songs to send, M Anime. Oh! Make sure you add Lonely No More to The Red Sash playlist. You care for her as I did. You knew Braxton for fifteen years. How about M Anime? Longer than Six Impossible Things:

1. I WILL BE VIEWING Spring Break: A Slice of Life Contemporary Harem, Dirk Knight
   Completed
2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
   Failed
3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
   Failed
4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 031, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
   Completed (Day 038 No Fap)
5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
   Failed
6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
   Failed

This is one reason you’re WOKE. You have a firm grasp of history. If only firmer than that of you “choking the bishop, chafing the carrot, you know, saying “hi” to (your) monster!” American Beauty? Don’t let MAGA hear you say that… Choking the chicken.

Your best friend is a black woman with a wife. M Anime’s your possible girlfriend and your boys’ potential stepmom, and she’s Puerto Rican, not that it matters to MAGA. And you like Cherry’s big melons, plus she’s English. And you could have a fantasy between M Anime and Cherry because you have nothing against lesbians. Progressive, liberal, leftist, democrat. Whatever! You’re WOKE. You don’t want to be WOKE… Excuse me, you don’t want to be awake. Six Impossible Things:

1. I WILL BE VIEWING As yet to be determined
2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 038, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Yeah, they still aren’t getting done. Hell! How many days have I missed? The 1600th day since Braxton departed. Juneteenth? And here I go, cursing you with one more day down of “Black and White People.” No, my friend, you have woken up today, and much like Ed Sheeran, you can sing out “I See Fire.” All thanks to that orange menace in the White House, Trump. FDT! Eff MAGA! Eff ICE! Eff all the people that continue to allow these atrocities, asinine tragedies, and these a**hole problems. What about you? Whose side you’d take.

If there is something good, “Somewhere Out There,” “Keep careful watch of my brothers’ souls.” Protect “your” women. And as for you? STAY ALIVE!” “STAY WOKE!” Braxton IS WOKE, Virgil

“All my life, I’ve lived by a code, and the code is simple: honor the gods, love your woman, and defend your country.”
Troy (2004)

1603 Days Without B III, Day 1044 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Sunday, June 8, 2025

Meditation 342 ~Being A B-Student, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And what would you grade yourself this morning? Are you striving for a B? Asking for F’s.

Fido, Effing, Failure. Man, you got plenty. And I know you wish you could stick to the effing. What? The friction in your hand? Not at all. You have plenty of lube. And also, Ew!

Your hands could be of use elsewhere… (Laughs hysterically). I know that’s pretty funny, friend. And speaking of friends, where’s your best one. Braxton’s in a box, a bunch of ash in a pendant, and hopefully barking up a storm in Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge.

Wherever and whatever. I don’t blame B for the Heavens ripping. I blame myself. I told Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, that I wanted to be a veterinarian.

But I also wanted to be a virologist or an astronaut. There’s Six Impossible Things:

1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Long Walk By Stephen King, Written As Richard Bachman
   Completed
2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
   Failed
3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
   Failed
4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 017, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
   Completed (Day 024 No Fap)
5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
   Failed
6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
   Failed

Not that I’m blaming them. But I know you will come this time next week. And since B’s gone, and his little brother Virgil is as strange as the poet. What about all the effing?

That’s one “F” you know far too well. Even as you ask the question like Norah Jones, Don’t Know Why,” I didn’t come. And you think, “I Touch Myself.” The Divinyls, really, bro? But Dear M is that type of woman. You can say the freaky deaky stuff. Filthy words.

And that’s what had you feeling anything but blame today. Blame for what? Yesterday, I was sitting here wanting to watch WWE Money In The Bank. What’s wrong with that?

Beats you. Worry about your O-Face? And Six Impossible Things:

1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 17, Logan Jacobs
2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 024, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Like fixing said O-Face? I can’t send that video to M Anime. You’re fine, attractive… Somehow, she wants you, but let’s just say Virgil isn’t the only one with a few teeth problems. Having the funds would help both of you. But you’re failing Virgil.

That’s what worries you. Hell, everything has been worrying you since Friday. Don’t look at me. Uh, that’s the whole point of being here. But again, Friday, I was sitting here all fine and dandy, and life said I needed a shot of FEAR. And after that, yesterday nature’s FURY.

Effing ISP! Effing storm! So many effing streaks lost. If you’d been a better student, you’d say I think I like this “Little Life.” That’s Braxton. Being A B-Student, Virgil

1589 Days Without B III, Day 1030 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Sunday, June 1, 2025

Meditation 335 ~Virgil, Thirst Can B…~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… How’s the first looking. You would be better off asking Braxton, M Anime, or even Virgil. Yourself?

It’s the “1st of tha Month,” a Sunday, and Braxton is still gone. You know, that sounds familiar. It was only Monday, February 1, 2021. And I was lying where you are, as pathetically covered in fur. But instead of remnants of Braxton, you have Virgil. And why is that? Because Virgil is too scared to get up and go get a drink of water and then come back. Not that you’re mad at him, but it’s annoying. Even when Braxton was dying, I brought his water bowl to him. Braxton was a brave boy. He could barely walk, but he would go to his room, wanting to get a drink. Again, you ask why. Because he loves you. And…

I fail Six Impossible Things:

1. I WILL BE VIEWING Saying Goodbye – Navigating the Loss of a Beloved Pet
   Completed
2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
   Failed
3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
   Failed
4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 010, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
   Completed (Day 017 No Fap)
5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
   Failed
6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
   Failed

I should be ashamed. But what about you? Hell, it’s been seven hours, and you’ve already failed number six. What are you doing? Your best MJ impression. “Why (why?), why (why?) Tell ’em that it’s Human Nature.” But don’t you thirst for more, my friend?

Dignity? I was Braxton’s Daddy. I’ll always be. You can be that and be a Dad to Virgil as well. You can stop disparaging yourself. As M Anime asked, in her own way, be the man she needs you to be. Who knows? You could beat Depression. But Acceptance. Never!

Dirty? Sure. If depraved, deviant, and disgusting, stories make money. If you can be the Ding-a-Ling that M Anime likes. If you can be a billionaire, douche. Six Impossible Things:

1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Long Walk By Stephen King, Written As Richard Bachman
2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 017, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

But you have to make this… Your writing comes first. You must thirst like Braxton.

Seriously, it wasn’t thirsting only for a drink of water. It was for happiness. And Braxton knew that wasn’t possible. But to stop worrying, weeping, and wallowing as you are.

You’re still sitting in bed, making up excuses as to why you can’t go out. You’re utter OMG over and over. The reason switches from moment to moment. And if you put existence first. Not just thriving but surviving, as THEY say. Question, Whose THEY?

Answer. Like the song “My Future. It’s coming on, it’s coming on, it’s coming on.”

Honestly, that’s you. You don’t have to be “Clint Eastwood” to do it. Get Angry. Thirsty. Virgil, Thirst Can B…

1582 Days Without B III, Day 1023 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will