Tag: Heartbroken

Journey 056 ~B’s Not Gone V~

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Allow me to get my Lisa Loeb on. “You say, I only hear what I want to.” Don’t use a condom. “Ok.” Maybe I’ll get pregnant. “Ok, I ain’t got no money but I’m with you.” Three kids, V, cats. “Ok, bring it on.” I’m marrying someone else! B’s Not Gone V.

Tuesday, August 26, 2025

Journey 056 ~B’s Not Gone V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But who are you? Who am I? Most days, I’m a dead man walking. Today?

Hell, every day! Honestly, at this moment, I’m a Dog Dad. Braxton’s gone. Virgil remains.

“I’m still breathing, I’m still breathing. I’m alive!”
Alive, Sia

“Look at me! I’m life. I live… I, I breathe… I feel. Now that you know it… can you really take it? Is it really worth the price?”
Equilibrium (2002)

I promised my boy that I would always feel because it was my Indifference that killed him. I was so busy trying to protect him from “This Animal I Have Become.” It happened every day at the Day Job. But that was then, this is now… Sunday, August 24, 2025.

Blessed with children, right? RIGHT! Not just the memory of my Braxton. I’m not only a Dog Dad to Virgil. We talked about this. A son I would name after my ‘firstborn’, my Braxton. Luke and Leia? If we had three daughters, I wanted them to be named after “Girls on Fire,” Katniss, Tris, and Ember. Link? Maybe Zelda. Names.

My name is Will and I was born… No! It still isn’t E-Day yet. I’m still forty, not forty-one yet. But again, it’s not E-Day yet. We’re still talking about Sunday, August 24, 2025, ok?

The day you looked at me and what? I’m guilty, sure enough. Geez, “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus,” they’ll say. As far as being a great writer. I’m always and forever effing trying!

But I’ve been sitting here all day looking at myself, thinking you’re getting your Toni Braxton on “He wasn’t man enough for me.” I mean, I see my body, and today you decided to do this? I wouldn’t have blamed you. But you want children, a big family. Effing same!

Fatherhood is the epitome of Manhood.

But I don’t know who I’m looking at anymore. Every effing horror within this universe.

You’re the woman I want. As much as I want to hate you, “I’m still in love, Sho’nuff in love with you, hey.” I’m not Al Green and I ain’t Barry White either, “Never, never gonna give you up.” Now I sound like some MAGA Cracker Hat, a cuck, or a creep, don’t you think?

Communication, right? You were constantly saying we needed communication. Today… Today, I can’t fix this. I can’t see you as my ride or die one minute and tell myself, “you wake up and suddenly you’re in love.” And just like that, you’re gone. Braxton didn’t.

Seriously, though, for want of children. B’s Not Gone V

1668 Days Without B III, Day 1109 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 054 ~E-Day, B III Virgil~

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I hate Sundays again. I don’t believe in God. But where did my B go? How’d I find an angel? Why am I fighting so hard to save the house? B’s on the Rainbow Bridge. I couldn’t build a Heaven for M Anime. Even the BUGS said Damn! “E-Day, B III Virgil.”

Sunday, August 24, 2025

Journey 054 ~E-Day, B III Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… You’ve looked way better, man. “What Do You Wanna Talk About?” E-Day, Happy Death Day, and TODAY!

We should start with B and V’s potential stepmom M Anime. Oh, she’s not anymore.

Effing hell you say! That’s the one thing I have over you today. I had her but we’ll get there. You have to start with the second worse day of your existence. Today’s pretty bad!

But what is E-Day? Some want to know. Um, artificial intelligence anyway but you know.

E-Day stands for Emergence Day. Following your ‘Rule of Three’ There is Emergence, Existence, and Extinction. There is also a newer ‘fourth’ for Evolution/Evolve, too.

Emergence Day much like BLM (Braxton’s Life Matters) was taken from pop culture. In this case the Gears Of War franchise to represent your Emergence from Hell. So yeah your birthday. Failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 19: A Reverse Portal Fantasy by Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

You’ll be failing them next week and then your successor will fail the next. Emergence?

It’s so close. And for the record, the worse day of existence will forever be, the day that Braxton died. And how many times must we go over that? Eff I’m beginning to believe even the BUGS are laying off the wall today. Give a broken hearted man some leeway.

Let’s continue talking about that man. Let’s talk about you. You could be “The 40-Year-Old Virgin.” You don’t believe in God but the FACT that Braxton went to Heaven, that your body count is a dozen tops, and that you haven’t downed an acetaminophen bottle.

“If there’s a God up there
Somethin’ above
God, shine your light down here
Shine on the love
Love of the loveless”
Eels – 2003

Between Braxton’s Favorite Girl and Virgil needing a father. A Dad failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 5: An Unconventional Romance – Neil Bimbeau
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

That brings us to the third worse moment of existence, beating out getting the Day Job and the day you and Braxton fought your Old Man. That was love, Brotherhood.

However, M Anime… No longer the stepmom, the ‘sexy thing’ the would be your S*ut.

Harsh? You’d say all out of love but if you want to talk about harsh. “You wake up and suddenly you’re in love,” only for that woman not only to say it’s over but she’s getting married to someone else and why? She wants children. You! The man that treats Braxton and Virgil as such. Who screamed Fatherhood is the epitome of Manhood. Buying that?

Look at yourself. Your Ma ripped you out (C-Section). Emergence Day. E-Day, B III Virgil

“Your black, you’re poor, you’re ugly, you’re a (man), you’re nothing at all!”
The Color Purple

“Your eyes are full of hate, forty-one. That’s good. Hate keeps a man alive. It gives him strength.”
Ben-Hur (1959)

1666 Days Without B III, Day 1107 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 122 ~Art, The Persistence Of Memory~

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So, no memory of Halloween? Nothing that I want to remember. Darth Vader, White Power Ranger, church. My art, words, whatever stayed locked away for, well, do I have anything on a bookshelf yet? And painting, uh… “Art, The Persistence Of Memory”

Monday, October 31, 2022

Saga 122 ~Art, The Persistence Of Memory~

Two-Hundred and Sixty-Fourth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, and while I’m sure I own something from Salvador Dalí, I had to look up this quote.

Stephen King. At this moment, I’m pretty sure nothing I’ve written, even about my boy, would do a quarter as well as any of his books. And yet I remember Braxton, my son, always and forever. And I keep in mind why I’m sitting here with you today, Madam J. How can I best describe, as Forrest Gump put it? The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I think this stops me from being a “published” writer. Not a fear of failure. It’s the fact that I don’t deserve to do this. Madam, I make everything dumb with an Um, Useless, or fucking Ugly. Pardon my language. But while we’re on the subject. There’s perverted, my pornographic passions, or something about my penis. Yeah ew

You can read all about it in last week’s sagas. I know that I won’t be reading it for real. Hell! I can’t tell you about the previous two books I read. That one from Barby Keel… It was more about her than her dog, and there were her yabbos too. Titties, I swear, Madam. Anyway. The books after that were both the same, mourning fur babies. Grieving is beautiful? Well, it keeps me from having to look at myself in the mirror some mornings. One more reason I hate the Day Job besides all the time travel I have to do all for Virgil. Yeah, I’m keeping him alive now. I’m starting to sound bitter comparing him and B III. I’m no masterpiece, either.

A writer, an artist, a canvas, a subject, all the above, or nothing at all. Best left unwept, unhonored, and unsung. Walter Scott, yes, but Groundhog Day, my artistic knowledge. Mutts… I wouldn’t say that about Virgil but definitely not my Braxton, but I write. Manuscripts, one after the other. And I couldn’t tell you what about ever. Waste, Madam. Mammaries which I spend far too much time on. If you want to know where I’ve been even in having this conversation with you. Torturing myself, edging, fucking around, ok. Money, of course, is a valid concern. I won’t do the things to make it, and then the Day Job? Off the top of my head, my artistic vision. Memories. Art, The Persistence Of Memory

638 Days Without B III, Day 079 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 115 ~Vote, Make The Revolution Easier~

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28 Days or 28 Days Later? A bad infection or Virgil’s first checkup here, his nails… I’m no good. A woman and her feathery friend that makes me smile. Or the woman that got me hard. Dem or GOP? B III or 2V? Choices. “Vote, Make The Revolution Easier”

Monday, October 24, 2022

Saga 115 ~Vote, Make The Revolution Easier~

Two-Hundred and Sixty-Third Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, and as long as I keep my billions, all is well. I am always a selfish bastard.

At least, that’s what I called myself this morning, Sunday, October 16, 2022. I wonder what B thinks of me now, some 631 days later. What about V? He’ll be 2 when you read this. All the money I’ve been spending and why? The song says, “I choose me, and I know that’s selfish, love.” Does that mean I love myself? Again this is Hell, and I’m a demon. Madam, that’s something else I have been saying these past couple of weeks. True. All morning I’ve been reading about tragedies. The fact that I never come back and read these things is the only reason I can mention Eco Sister @hitaylorblake, Amouranth, and the world in general. The horror. We all have choices; shout praises?

A thousand choices shout praises… if I remember the book right. The Cure by Sonia Levitin. Should I make a choice to reread it? Something to do this Sunday. Madam, I don’t get a vote, veto, or a voice in nearly every span of my existence; I only go. When I first met Triple B, I didn’t get a choice to love him or not. No, I only left, and love got me. To sing you another song, “We found love in a hopeless place.” But to die alone? Do you want to hear my confession? I’m well aware you’re not Inspector Echo, but… have I talked about this before? It turns me on to read about women’s tragedies somewhat. Those of explicit nature, especially

But I can choose not to engage. Even no vote is a vote. But then, why not die? I’ll leave. Again I was talking to the Man in the Mirror this morning, and I don’t love myself. Not at all. So I vote. Do I choose Triple B or Triple X? The fact we’re talking, and my pants are on… At this rate, I’m out of meds by now. So do I decide to keep fighting or help Virgil Vivi? I was looking at his nails this AM, and I’m a fiend for letting them grow like this. My God! Oh yeah, there is the whole country going to shit. I won’t be voting Republican. But boobs/yabbos, the thirst wins. Vote, Make The Revolution Easier

631 Days Without B III, Day 072 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 108 ~Remember, Be The 10th Man~

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I’m not a man of faith or a GOP politician. History doesn’t lie if you want it. Yet, for my failures, B refused to go along with everyone and believed I would make a change. And Virgil nearing two is too young. But I “Remember, Be The 10th Man.”

Monday, October 17, 2022

Saga 108 ~Remember, Be The 10th Man~

Two-Hundred and Sixty-Second Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, and though that’s a small group, it’s still a group where anything is possible, but Madam… (sigh).

Well, every Sunday, as a matter of fact, this is Sunday, October 9, 2022, time travel. But, Madam, I write down six things I want to accomplish. Six Impossible Things, right? How many times have I completed the list? B would be ashamed of me. Or B III should be. Hell! My son was/is The 10th Man. He believed in me when no one else ever did. And in a way, he has you and the other girls beat. Don’t forget the Man in the Mirror. Only we’ll get to him. You love me despite all my failures. Now so does Braxton, but his faith. Braxton believed and did everything he could to help. He was an old man. Virgil will be two on Thursday.

It hasn’t been three months yet. I’ve been talking about having no idea what Virgil Vivi wants from me all day. It ain’t riding in the car to get tacos. Sorry, Virgil. Today I’m not… That’s the thing, Madam “I’m Not.” People have given up on me. It’s not like many believed in the first place. Only I’m thirty-eight, sitting here worried about medications. I might as well be in a “home.” My GOP Tendencies say I’m another worthless black. Um, I was going to use another word, but I bet I’d get hit for it. These words, these words. I’m a writer. I’m somebody. But every day, if I’m not crying over Braxton, I’m watching the success of others. In the end, I’m going to die alone. If so…

Well, why not die believing as no one else does, regardless? I mean, who’s left to care if I believe I can write books, own a brothel, and have some good girl to make babies? Family. With that, I want to believe that V is my Braxton… cut to him falling off the porch today. I’m not reading about reincarnation, which I’ve said all day, but Virgil, I don’t know yet. Madam, I believe I disagree with the Man in the Mirror. Be as your father? No, I would instead be like my son. He wasn’t the first to believe, but he was the only one not to give up if “He Lives In You.” Remember, Be The 10th Man.

624 Days Without B III, Day 065 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 101 ~To Find, Learn To Hide~

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I call myself an open book, but I rarely find someone like Braxton, his aunt, etc. And still, I had to hide. I hate the mirror. Or turning a corner in my mind and finding… the illogical, illegal, impossible, and insane. “To Find, Learn To Hide.”

Monday, October 10, 2022

Saga 101 ~To Find, Learn To Hide~

Two-Hundred and Sixty-First Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now. And while I’d hide my cash in some underground vault, I’d flaunt it everywhere… Hoodies and jeans.

Hell! I’m like Linus van Pelt from Peanuts. He has his blanket, and I have a hoody, well, several, Madam. I know you’re not Inspector E, so this is no confession. It’s a simple fact. Something else I don’t hide and need not find, like the death of my boy. No, even if it cost me “friends.” I’ll continue to bring up Braxton. I’ve never been one to hide grief. But I do wonder how other people do it. Drugs? By the time you’re reading this, I’ll be off meds. So once again, I’m Time Travelling. Um, it’s Wednesday, October 5, 2022. And being sick? Am I still hiding from it? Have I been cured? And the day in general?

I’m always hiding from the horrors of the day in question. I don’t ever want to find myself back here ever again. Like the song goes, “I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.” I’ve hidden the last good day I ever had so far down I’ll never find it. An impossible thing. Yes, you’re not the Man in the Mirror. Am I hiding from you today? I do apologize for that. I don’t know if you’re helping me or not. I tend to hide from positivity… “Unforgettable, that’s what you are?” Like all my other dreams of writing and of success. I read and listen to many books, yet I can’t find knowledge to save me. I’m buried in STUPID, to be honest. Such is my rage.

I told Inspector Echo today that I tried to put myself in the ground on occasion. The best way to hide from the world is to become part of it. This mind I have won’t let me. And the Sunday before last, this body demanded I do something. I couldn’t hide from the pain anymore. But I don’t want to be found, Madam. If anything, I want to find Braxton. Reincarnation yet again? Where is Virgil? I’m hiding from him, or he’s hiding from me? I’m not sure, Madam. I want to hide from everything. And the things I’m finding… nothing good, Madam. A Republican tendency, hide the good and the bad and get ugly. Sick of hide and seek? To Find, Learn To Hide

617 Days Without B III, Day 058 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 094 ~Evil Prevails Despite Good People~

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I can’t say I see good people daily. I know I’m no damn good despite those 2 “things” at Petsmart. Adopting Virgil and running out to a lady that forgot a bag. No earthly good at all. With what I see. Evil Prevails Despite Good People.

Monday, October 3, 2022

Saga 094 ~Evil Prevails Despite Good People~

Two-Hundred and Sixtieth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I’m not a good person. Well, at least all the billionaires I know are evil.

Which isn’t to say the poor can’t be evil. I’d still be me even if I didn’t have a dime to my name. Yes, I’m saying I’m broke and evil. As far as being a better person. I miss Braxton. Here come the tears today, Tuesday, September 27, 2022. “Make Me Wanna Die,” or instead cry, as I doubt I didn’t wake up in Hell. Well, a part of it anyway. Then there’s V. Madam; I want to do right by him, I swear. Yet I’ve said why he got his name, Virgil. He’s a good boy, a good man considering he’s going on two in October. Did I mention how much I hate paperwork? It told me his age and everything. Braxton being reincarnated…

Anyway, his name yet again. Virgil for the man who led Dante through the Inferno. Vivi, for the black mage child who stood against evil in Final Fantasy IX. Pornography? Madam, that’s how easy it is. I think Final Fantasy and then, well… If I had a dollar for every piece of Final Fantasy XXX I own. Oh, and it gets worse if we talk about other games. In case you’re wondering why I’m so late finishing this conversation today. Two words Madam, NERDY GIRLS. Wondering what I’ll tell the PERV in the Mirror Sunday. I hope it’s not that I wasted more money. No matter where the cash goes at the end of the day, I’m afraid that the evil I am will remain.

For good people like Braxton’s Aunt and M Anime, I can’t fault Cherry for not wanting to bring more children into this world. Then I turn back to Little Virgil on his pillow. Well, one of Braxton’s anyway. I know good people but dogs are the best for sure. Hell! This entire existence is based on the idea if I ever had enough money, power, and women, I could be a good man. How many times have I said fatherhood is the epitome of manhood? But again, I know fathers, and I know billionaires. It doesn’t make you good. FEAR Madam. The truth, like Braxton, the thought of living without it… Just be less evil… I can try because, Madam. Evil Prevails Despite Good People

610 Days Without B III, Day 051 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 087 ~OTHER PEOPLE’s Freedom Causes PROBLEMS~

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A man once sang… “and there’s not much love to go around.” Can the same be said of freedom? I’m not much of a fan of existence. And to be free? With the cash, the right skin tone, and something between my legs? OTHER PEOPLE’s Freedom Causes PROBLEMS

Monday, September 26, 2022

Saga 087 ~OTHER PEOPLE’s Freedom Causes PROBLEMS~

Two-Hundred and Fifty-Ninth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means (ahem) I’m above the law. I’ll tell you, Madam, I’ve been trying to avoid politics.

That doesn’t make me a good American. Hell! If anything, I only care about being a good father. And whatever I am to Virgil. I still don’t know what I am, to him being honest. There’s plenty of time to think about it considering we’re talking on Sunday, September 18, 2022. Why so soon? Well, you know why that is, Madam. “Freedom Ain’t Free,” right? Even now, I can’t help but wonder how much I have left after the air conditioner got fixed, Madam. I’ll never be free from this fear of my “father” until he’s in the ground… free. And when that happens, so what? I’m still screwed. Why couldn’t I use my Republican tendencies to lie? Because I want Virgil’s freedom from Hell.

You could say I wanted the same thing for my son. I freed Braxton when there was nothing more I could do. With his passing, I freed myself from the only one I ever loved. But, wait isn’t freedom the word and not love? Freedoms of horrible human beings, ha. I believe it was Simon Phoenix, played by Wesley Snipes, who said. “Look, you can’t take away people’s right to be assholes.” Now I can live with being an asshole. It’s everything else, Madam. The things I’ve been worrying about for weeks. The thermostat temperature. Goddammit, Madam! I’m talking about the things I want to buy. The fucking love below. Between OnlyFans, Twitter, etc. “All These Things That I’ve Done.” What I’ve said to women…

At least I’ve canceled myself for the most part. I’m not threatening others’ existence… GOP. Again I’m not into politics at the moment, but you know the code I “exist” by. Everyone has the right to do whatever they want as long as they don’t hurt anyone else that breathes. Madam, of course, if we’re talking about the bedroom and it’s consensual. I’m a sadist. Today I’m also a slave. I am my father’s son. I look at V, and if anything, I’m his person. But as far as the freedom to do what I want? That would take money and power. And women… a cheerleader, gymnast, aspiring model, and dancer? Freedom to bring back the dead; my son Braxton. OTHER PEOPLE’s Freedom Causes PROBLEMS.

603 Days Without B III, Day 044 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 080 ~ Love’s Not Design But Evolution~

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I didn’t know how to love on January 11, 2022. I think about what happened to my son on January 31, 2021. Always. Love can take seconds or a long time. To love yourself… First, I need to learn to live, but now I exist. Love’s Not Design But Evolution

Monday, September 19, 2022

Saga 080 ~ Love’s Not Design But Evolution~

Two-Hundred and Fifty-Eighth Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, and I think that would finally be enough for me to love myself. Not in Braxton’s time

I’ve said it before that I wasn’t happy even with Braxton. To save us some time, I hate myself, but I love my little Braxton. It’s been a while since I’ve said this, but “I love him like pancakes.” Hell! Pancakes sound good, but I don’t love myself enough to go get some today. Saturday, I was much too concerned, getting Virgil’s vittles and Subway. I can’t say I love him yet. I continue dealing with reincarnation and the like. It will take some time. Yeah, loving myself? Isn’t that what I’ve been doing all this morning before seeing you? The primal needs of man. A decent way to say I was jerking off, well edging anyway. And on today of all days. Shouldn’t I be ashamed of myself? Well…

For what? I have no love for the queen. I still believe this country could do with fewer politicians. That would make themselves kings or queens. Love for political parties or people. Oh no, ha. Power of the Pussy. Talk about being old and evolving from Roobie Breastnut’s song, ok. Don’t get me wrong, Madam, I do believe in love at first sight. Again where was I this morning? In bed moaning over some gymnast… on my phone. There was “Busty Coeds vs. Lusty Cheerleaders.” I would have been 26 when that movie arrived… Incredible. Though I hear you, Madam, that’s enough about the porno. But something that I love? Power, Pussy, and Pets. People, “we’re not built to kill,” but to love Madam J?

My son taught me more about that than anyone. Love can be learned but unlearned. That’s how it is without B. Everything in my body went out of whack. Because, for fifteen years, I had to evolve into someone capable of being his father. Came, saw, and all the rest. 161 days, so about 5 months and some change and now. At this moment, it’s been 6 days and 8hrs since the last time I “had a release,” and what’s stopping me besides busy hands? Because there is no power within them. I have not evolved enough to love, forgive, or… well, when it comes to my “father.” Braxton might have been designed by “God,” but loving me, that’s evolution. Love’s Not Design But Evolution

596 Days Without B III, Day 037 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Saga 073 ~ Don’t Be Nosy Be Mindful~

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Ignorance is bliss? If only I had adopted that last Thursday. How about before I took the Day Job that has made me STUPID for over a decade. A doggy has been trying to get to know me for a month. When will we learn? Don’t Be Nosy Be Mindful

Monday, September 12, 2022

Saga 073 ~ Don’t Be Nosy Be Mindful~

Two-Hundred and Fifty-Seventh Rule

Madam Justice
I AM a Billionaire right now, which means I must know everything. Like Finnick Odair, right? What is money to information, secrets… paranoia.

Like today, Friday, September 9, 2022. I’ll be a lot worse if you’re reading this Monday. There’s been many a day I’ve been at the Day Job, and everyone disappears. Or there is a phone call a manager has to respond to. Hell! People, in general. Being all around me. As the song goes, “Is there anyone out there? ‘Cause it’s gettin’ harder and harder to breathe.” Follow your nose, or rather I should shut my mouth. When it comes to all my secrets. But that’s the thing, J. The things that go on inside my head. Sick! Scary! Suffering! Oh, there’s plenty of that, which is why I slept hard after talking to Lady Sophia. It’s exhausting, excruciating, and evil to think one minute.

No wonder Braxton couldn’t take it. You didn’t think I would forget about him, now did you? The angel on my shoulder. I think the lady at Best Buy noticed him, but I don’t want to talk about last Tuesday. What about little Virgil? He’s busy running towards me. Nope. I could talk about all the people at the Day Job. You know there’s a difference between laughing with and being laughed at. They don’t want to know me but about me. Oh no, Madam. And my Olds? Fuck! Your kid tried to take their life on how many occasions? And they never tried to stop me once. And anything I tell them is called STUPID or more Humiliations Galore. I called myself emo before…

Yes, I’m embracing my teenage years again now that E-Day has come and gone (whew). The only person that cares who I am now or was way back then is Braxton’s Aunt, to be sure. I can share almost anything with her. And yes, Brandy, to exist like this almost counts for quite a lot. Only that’s what’s scaring me. Like all my edging, the point of no return (sigh). The things I find… And then wanting more. Greed isn’t a sin I deal with on the regular. Sure I want money, but I’m much more of a hoarder. That explains my porno collection plenty. My fears, insecurities, my troubles. Sticking my nose everywhere to alleviate fear and gaining more. Don’t Be Nosy Be Mindful.

589 Days Without B III, Day 030 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will