Tag: Questions

Meditation 258 ~Braxton Times Out Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I wanted more time, and I doubt I’ll have 40 hours at the Day Job this week. Ha-Ha! 40hrs, that’s funny. I’m a writer… But what have I written besides a few words looking up ANIME? The type I’d have to send Braxton away for. Braxton Times Out Virgil.

Sunday, March 16, 2025

Meditation 258 ~Braxton Times Out Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And while you missed your chance to watch Fallout, you still get to live your own apocalypse.

And to think you made such plans for you and Braxton once upon a time. But chances are you would be gone Day One Ish. But now that the world isn’t ending, you have the opportunity to grow and evolve. You’re not the same person you were a week ago… And that’s a good thing.

Do you dare to feel any gratitude? I am proud that you remembered to congratulate Braxton’s Favorite Girl on her nuptials with her girl today. The second time’s the charm.

And speaking of The Second Time Around Virgil Vivi is still here after yesterday’s storms. To think he can be scared of something so… NORMAL. As for you? You had another case of FOMO, waking up at 3:00 AM to splice videos of Reika Kurashiki. Seriously, *SAIMIN SEISHIDOU Hypnosis Sex Guidance #5 Obata Natsumi/Kurashiki Reika Already failing, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Life After Pet Loss: Coping with the… by Lynnlee Hunt
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 003 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

And again, I’m proud that you can accept such failings. It’s not easy, but you’re doing it. Remember what I said the other day? I would NEVER find ACCEPTANCE in Braxton’s passing. And neither will you. But you’re facing it head-on, and that’s something to be proud of. You think…

Could you do something productive instead of sending Braxton or Virgil out? You remember the days when you prayed that Braxton did something that got him sent to his room. All so you could drool over some Yabbos. When did Cherry begin teasing you with hers? You want to be a guy. Like this? A failure of Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls 10 ―
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I think not. But Braxton had nearly sixteen years to get you ready. You were twenty when you met your son and thirty-six when Braxton died. And what kind of a man are you today?

Today, you don’t want to answer that. But here you are. One more morning, bedridden. More upset that somebody is beating you with an anime blonde’s yabbos because you were ten minutes late. What about getting no time on your Day Job schedule? Needing money…

You are not worthless… You are a wraith. Well, in terms of being a womanizer… You remember Judge Wraith from Fifteen Million Merits. If anything, you’re a wimp. So’s V. You need a time out. Are you trapped? Are you Timing-Out? Braxton Times Out Virgil

1505 Days Without B III, Day 946 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 253 ~Braxton, Virgil, Pop Off~

WillLeave a comment

A day in bed. If I’m not crying, sweating in fear, sickness, or spilling High-fructose PORN syrup. I need to throw a lot in the wash. Anyway, I don’t want to overflow or explode. But B’s in my ear, and V’s running all over. “Braxton, Virgil, Pop Off”

Tuesday, March 11, 2025

Meditation 253 ~Braxton, Virgil, Pop Off~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I promise to smile. A man provides. And what’s this in my pants for you…

I’m being a creep. Husband or not, right? But what else can I be? I’m in the mood one minute. And the next… Well, I’ve only cried for Braxton once today. And I haven’t even given Virgil a chance these past few days. You know his madness in running everywhere.

Or should I say manic? Virgil’s mania? It beats my depression. Is it even fair to call it that anymore? Prolonged Grief… It’s been 1500 days. I can’t remember my last day without saying his name. And yes, I’ve been focused on Virgil Vivi’s fears for a few days. SIGH.

We’ll get to that. But my sadness is as obsessive, pervasive, and quintessential—my love.

I am yours, our children’s, my Braxton’s, and my own.

I am afraid. I tell my Braxton that. Whenever I speak with him, wherever he is. The Rainbow Bridge? Anyway, I use that line from the film Spontaneous. It feels like I’m dying, and I’m so scared all the time. Can you imagine it, sweet baby doll? What scares me?

Other than the fact that you won’t get “my” jokes, like things you can say about your dog but not your girlfriend/wife. Whenever I decide to be funny. Laughter terrifies.

There’s the fear to love as much as I did when Braxton was here. My firstborn son fought to the last second not to leave me. You have a choice. And there’s our children, always.

Someday, I fear I’ll love myself. We might never meet…

Or at least I might be stuck here all alone, drooling over Cherry’s Yabbos. Or I’d be jealous of M Anime’s paramours. There’s listening to the Hannah K “admirers…” Brunettes.

Baby girl, you know, much like Christian Grey, I’m a sucker for brunettes. And some girls with dark hair or different… Am I A Psycho? I’m a man that loves you. And I am trying. I want you to know that my love for you is unwavering, and I am committed to making this work.

Just like when I would hold Braxton, and I’d calm myself—defusing a bomb, beloved.

Every day, it’s putting on the clown mask so our kids don’t see their Dad for the human I am… At best. And why they exist. The things I’ll do to you, their lovely mother.

However, Braxton’s gone, and Virgil’s running somewhere…Braxton, Virgil, Pop Off

1500 Days Without B III, Day 941 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 251 ~Braxton Had Time, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I had a week to myself. What have I done with the time? I need to talk to M Anime… She won’t be B and V’s stepmom… SIGH. “Nightmare At The Meat Market” is over 50,000 words, but I’m not done. But plenty of time for Animation. Braxton Had Time, Virgil

Sunday, March 9, 2025

Meditation 251 ~Braxton Had Time, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And do you know what I see? At best, an old man. I’m not shooting for OnlyFans…

“I see pride. I see Power. I see a badass mother who don’t take no crap of nobody.”
Cool Runnings

True story and all. I’m not a fan of the movie Cool Runnings. But that line has always stuck with me. Or should I say you? Honestly, you don’t have to look in the mirror this morning. It’s time that’s beating you. And did I mention you were beating… nevermind.

If you could only beat time like other parts of your anatomy. Yeah, that part. You swear you don’t have time. But somewhere between one and three this morning, what were you up to? Eww! Whoever on X/Twitter decided to feature Tsubaki Miyajima, so naturally…

Yeah, yeah, I’m hopeless! I posted Tsubaki’s video with her lovely daughter and then returned to bed. If only Braxton were here. And what about Virgil? Oh, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Bikini Sunset: An Unconventional Romance
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Isn’t making time an Impossible Thing. Most days, I would PRAY to have B’s strength.

But today, you ask for Braxton’s courage and, most importantly, his time. How long was he gone before finding Virgil Vivi? 559 Days, if memory serves. And with that time…

There were three books, at least. Two of them you wrote for Braxton and yesterday… Slothfulness. It’s an easier sin to admit to than ending Braxton. That’s the only sin I regret passing on to you. It’s 8:36 AM… Excuse me, 9:36 AM. And of the Seven Deadly Sins, you’ve already committed four: Lust, Sloth, Envy, and Wrath. Where do you find the time, you wonder? And don’t you need to do some food shopping? Gluttony? Please! Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Life After Pet Loss: Coping with the… by Lynnlee Hunt
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

While you’re thinking about being a proud black man. Martin Luther King Jr. once said:

“The time is always right to do the right thing.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.

You could live with being a good father to Virgil. And if Life After Pet Loss has it right, you were/are a good father to Braxton. But you still remember that your boy, your son…

Braxton Barks Bradford fought for every second of life. He wouldn’t even let you bring him water. B walked down the hall to his room and drank his water. And in that same hall, I’ve been spending time trying to teach Virgil that he doesn’t have to run all manic.

Except for last night, when I carried him to bed. Can’t spend all night kneeling to him, God, or Tsubaki Miyajima. Braxton Had Time, Virgil

1498 Days Without B III, Day 939 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 246 ~Braxton’s Trust In V…~

WillLeave a comment

In God We Trust. No! But money talks to “God’s Favorite Princess”. Would I talk to her if I had a wife and kids? I got Braxton and Virgil, who have $66.50 each. Me? $39.00 for covered Yabbos. How did B live with my finances? Braxton’s Trust In V

Tuesday, March 4, 2025

Meditation 246 ~Braxton’s Trust In V…~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And I’ll love you even more in 5, 4, 3, 2… Time to love. Price?

Love can’t tell time. Love comes with no price tag. One day, it’s standing on my bed covered in syrupy goodness, showing me that the additional sausages aren’t real meat…

One of my best memories of Braxton. “Shoulda took a picture, Something I could keep. Buy a little frame, something cheap.” And no, I’m not crying as I remember, love.

Honestly, you wouldn’t mind. If it wasn’t for the love of my firstborn son… My trust in him. Honestly, it’s only something in my eye. I’ve told you the reasons I call Braxton pancake. One of them was after B ate my waffles. So I put my pancakes up high so Braxton couldn’t reach them. My mom said, “You sure love pancakes.” Then there’s you.

When I say, “I love you like pancakes.” Trust me, my love that is LOVE. Because I didn’t think I could love anything or anyone like I loved my son. You, our children, and Virgil.

Don’t I count Virgil Vivi as my son? I would share my pancakes with him if I wasn’t spending money like it’s going out of style. And what is that line from The Walking Dead?

Something to the tune of, When I was pouring the Bisquick, I was trying to make pancakes, ha-ha. And we made some good pancakes, or can I just call them the kids, like Braxton and Virgil. Only our two-legged children have trust funds. Daddy’s spending…

No matter how much money we have, I want more.

Because while “Lovin’ is what I got.” Loving you, our kids… yes, Virgil too. Braxton… Always and forever, I will remember you, I tell him with every beat of my heart. I swear, my love, even when I can’t get the words out. Quiet love is quite a love. Because…

Somehow, someday, the Man in the Mirror might think that a tiny bit of This Love, This Year’s Love, applies to him. That’s why I go back and forth between how loud… And how quiet love can be. And then it’s those in-between times… When Virgil Vivi is sound asleep.

When I need to watch God’s Favorite Princess @luxlo. Or when I finally breathe, dearest. To be here now… in love. Braxton’s Trust In V…

1493 Days Without B III, Day 934 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 244 ~Mice, Men, Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Something went awry forty years ago when my Ma made her biggest life mistake. Quite awry four years ago when I watched my firstborn die. And this morning’s plans. Reading about harems, posting sexy cosplay, my writing… Mice, Men, Braxton, Virgil

Sunday, March 2, 2025

Meditation 244 ~Mice, Men, Braxton, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Do you have a plan? STAY ALIVE! For Braxton, for Virgil. And there are dragons to slay.

Or rather, “Never feel sorry for raising dragon slayers in a time when there are actual dragons.” That sounds like something you might tell two-legged daughters. But instead, you have four-legged sons. Well, B flies amongst the clouds. And V is still finding his paws.

How did we get here? Had I known how to save a life, things would be different, better, or anything other than this, but let’s talk about the worst plan I ever made. And yours.

The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.”
Robert Burns, To a Mouse

Four years ago, Braxton became ill. And after a difficult week at the Day Job, on Friday, January 29, 2021, I took Braxton to the doctor and got the news. On that Sunday, B died.

What did I do? Nothing! Compared to Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls 9 ―
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

This was my plan for the week and your plan for next week, DUH. So if I might give you some advice… First, you know the definition of insanity. It’s doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, so THEY say. So what will you do?

There’s a method to the madness… For example, if you had twelve disciples… He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus. You would have six women and five men, and Braxton would make twelve. But there are seven days, and you tend to run things more like a harem. Four women: Dear Future Wife, Inspector Echo, the Ladies Sophia, and Lunalesca.

There’s Braxton’s speaking. You speak, then talk to yourself. Too busy for Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Bikini Sunset: An Unconventional Romance
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Don’t you wish? While you have no plans in the Bible, it says, “Your old men will dream dreams.” Well, you’re older than me now by about nine hours. So what was your dream, hmm? Or should I still say my dream since it happened last night? Talk about violence:

Anyway, last night I was in Squid Game, and the game had me jumping from planet to planet and floating to What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong. I imagine I lost the game because next, I’m in the Day Job breakroom being shot by The Frontman in the back. But I survived because I was wearing a bulletproof vest. Still, I was put in one of the crematoria ovens, but I wasn’t burned. Instead, I was dropped into a dark room where a firefight was being waged. A possible escape attempt was going on? I’m still in the green uniform. Then I’m given a gun, and I start fighting. There’s a building across from us, and I spot a sniper because of a green sight on the weapon. I dodge, but five more appear on my body, and I have no idea how to avoid them. And that’s where the dream ended. Oh my!

Don’t let your only plan be to do nothing. Like dinner? $200 refund? And there’s Virgil. Mice, Men, Braxton, Virgil.

1491 Days Without B III, Day 932 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 239 ~Lawn Night B, V~

WillLeave a comment

So one day, I’ll say the Neighbors Know My Name, and my wife will issue an apology. Ha-Ha! Or V will be having too much fun outside. Or my kids will come running before the street lights come on. Or I’ll become handier fixing things. Lawn Night B, V.

Tuesday, February 25, 2025

Meditation 239 ~Lawn Night B, V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Always and forever. But no, I’m not that old yet; confusing lawn and long, love.

It’s just my kids are out there. Our kids? But I will always love my lost little Braxton. And Virgil’s here… Nothing will spirit him away in the night. Am I old enough to tell kids to get off my lawn yet? With our billions, I intend to have security. I promised Braxton a yard so big a long time ago, my dear baby doll.

Virgil will someday guard it. If he’s anything like my firstborn son. He’ll be by my side as our two-legged progeny head out on first dates, to proms, and graduations. They will always have a home to return to everywhere they go. Sometimes, I forget about words like home. It means I want to be a better man, my love. After B and V… ha

I may not be the funniest or the handiest, but I am here for you in every way I can be my sweet baby doll.

This is why I’m standing out in the yard at 10 PM waiting for the repair guy, and I’m mad as Hell. I can think of other ways to spend our nights… If you catch my drift. Don’t worry; I’m getting to that. But allow me to be scared for the moment. I was afraid all of last week, and this one isn’t looking any better. It’s like going out drinking, clubbing, or some other nonsense. And I’ve had some bad nights, my love. And I survived. But why? I’m scared because I want to provide the best for us, and sometimes, I’m unsure if I’m doing enough. I try…

To create the Garden of Eden for you? You married me, so there isn’t much an apple can do. And as far as a serpent… I’m writing about mine or reading about Robyn with Grayson’s.

Agatha, Tasha, Julia, Fiona, Chrissy, Willow etc. Grayson has quite the harem in Satan’s Sorority Girls. I was reading #9. And speaking of what I’m reading, there is a book by Tillie Cole called Sick F*X. If I weren’t waiting for someone not worth our cash, I’d love to take you to the song “Dusk Till Dawn.” One of my favorite scenes of Tillie Cole’s…

Exhibitionism? Or relatively the risk of it. We could cuddle together on the beach, love. Right now? I would rather be in bed with you listening to The Quiet Storm now that I’m a grown man and know what that music means. All to wake up with you and listen to apocalyptic oldies. But tonight’s long. Lawn Night B, V

1486 Days Without B III, Day 927 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 237 ~Bury B, Belly V~

WillLeave a comment

I’m full of IT. But what IT is changes daily. This morning, IT was the spirit of FEAR. And while I am not a religious person, I remember singing God has not given us the spirit of fear. But my Little God died with an empty belly. Bury B, Belly V

Sunday, February 23, 2025

Meditation 237 ~Bury B, Belly V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Open your eyes. Ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is strength. Deceiving, Dangerous, and disgusting words. So what’s worse?

You… You’re sorry to start the new week off so harshly. But with the way last week went, and here you are today. THEY say when the going gets tough, the tough get going. Right?

But not you. No! You look to what you have already survived, and upon seeing this, you float along. But it doesn’t stop your stomach from dropping. The horror, the horror, my friend. And there are much better books than “Heart of Darkness.” Are you going to compare Joseph Conrad to Eric Vall? Really!? For the last few days, it’s been all FEAR. Too Much!

It feels like you jinxed yourself. Starting on the 15th, things were supposed to get better. Somehow, someway. But looking at these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A Season of Giving Harem University Book 4, Dirk Knight
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Doesn’t it make you sick? You’re sick, but not because of these things. It’s the more you know. And last week, that consisted of three things. Comedy comes in threes, so THEY say. And none of those had you rushing off to the bathroom. And today’s energy shot isn’t helping things. But what did you know? You’re wasting the week. Why? Because you’re alive, and B is gone. You’re not blaming him. Your son stopped eating. And you… Well, you can’t keep anything good down. Food in your belly, 2-V off the bed, etc., etc.

Only the bad things… The monster in your pants, dirty words in search bars. Keywords.

The dead rising isn’t good. Especially when you don’t look a thing like Jesus. Could he accomplish Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls 9 ―
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I think he had greater concerns than yours. But what if he had a dog? Jesus had twelve dudes and a Naughty Girl. Are you listening to Beyoncé? Anything beats the beeps and boops, your bare feet hitting the floor, or busting on Cherry’s Yabbos. And M Anime got the outfit you sent her Yesterday. And now it’s The Beatles. What is wrong with you?

You’re not you when you’re hungry. But what about when you’re scared like you are. Fear comes in flavors, and none of them are good. And I understand I ain’t helping. I’d tell you to eat something, drink your water, and down a painkiller. Still, you wonder why… Braxton, Virgil, you? Bury B, Belly V

1484 Days Without B III, Day 925 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 232 ~Rooms B Through V~

WillLeave a comment

My biggest fear… Nope! I lost my son. But I fear drowning, too. With so many tears and how much rage? And with desires raining like humiliations galore. Uh, working? But fear. At least the house’s not flooding… Again. Rooms B Through V

Tuesday, February 18, 2025

Meditation 232 ~Rooms B Through V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And if only that love were as easy as saying, “Braxton, Virgil, and others, Bedtime!”

D.L. Hughley once warned that the kids would walk in on us. You realize that. It was something to that effect. And did I think of our two-legged children before Braxton or Virgil? If only you knew how I protected B III and 2-V. But today, “What About Us,” love.

No, that’s not the song I heard you singing around 2 AM this morning. And I won’t attribute this to my son. My love, this is all you. It was Lykke Li’s “I Follow Rivers.”

The song has been stuck in my head all morning, and I’m trying to figure out where I heard it. Besides your lovely voice, it was also in an episode of Glee I watched before.

But you? In my head?

“‘Tis you floating around my head, my Godqueen.”
― Clarence, The Book of Clarence (2024)

Do you consider that a miracle? Now, if you could only listen, hear, and understand. Dreams have meanings. I’m always saying that to M Anime. So what about that song? For a few days now, I have been cried out over Braxton. To go from his birthday on the 13th to a “Lovely Day” on the 14th. Joy and pain are like sunshine and rain. Right? It’s going from the day I first found love to honoring our passion for each other, my baby doll.

However, the problem remains that my heart is still broken. Again, there’s the song “I Follow Rivers.” You follow my tears, sweat, and blood down.

Down, down, down, into places you should not see. Do those places include where the Bisquick comes from and gave us our other kids? How many bedrooms do we have?

And I’ve said I’m more of a man for a Study rather than a Man Cave. But there’s also the Library, The Red Room or Black. There is the room, a temple to honor my Braxton. I wasn’t kidding when I said I would build that. And V may one day join him. 920 days.

Only the meaning of my dream. It is that the tears, desires, sweat, and toil you experience follow me. Overflowing. And I am like the ocean. You’re filling me up, blowing me up with your love. Rooms B Through V.

1479 Days Without B III, Day 920 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 230 ~We’ll B Overthinking Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

So why am I randy, passionate, hot, and bothered today… Well, a woman I like isn’t mad at me. Some dirtier thoughts got posted. And today is “The Cherry Collison.” Why think about “her” yabbos. I overthink everything else. We’ll B Overthinking Virgil

Sunday, February 16, 2025

Meditation 230 ~We’ll B Overthinking Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And this is the age of Doublethink. So, how come I was not more of a rebel?

Because I overthink. As will you. As will all. See, it’s already started. But as always, we begin with Braxton. Have you figured out what took him from you yet? Seriously, my boy… My man. Technically, the Braxton mourning period is from the last week of January to the 13th of February. And between now and the third week of January 2026. If you live.

And even now, you don’t want that. But since you need to figure out why 2-V was crying… Um… I kicked him out because he wouldn’t stay put, and the storm was scaring him. And if he had been Braxton. Here we go again… AHEM. “And I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life.” Or how to do Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Quickies! by Adriena Temple, 50 Flash Fiction Stories of Pure…
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Overthinking should be on the list. Why? Because it’s causing you to write down questions you already know the answers to. This isn’t any of your Math classes looking for X. It’s about recognizing when you’re overthinking and stopping yourself from going down that path.

Anyway, why should overthinking be on the list? Yesterday? Yeah, I was all messed up regarding M Anime. But what did she say? She needed to catch five hours of sleep. Eff!!! If anything, you know all about getting some sleep. But to rest ever. I tried, you tried, SIGH.

Not when there are so many yabbos, your yogurt slinger, and your words, your words, your words, they have power. Your words have the power to change things. One of the guys on X/Twitter showed your ngl message about… nevermind.

Worry about Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A Season of Giving Harem University Book 4, Dirk Knight
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Amongst other things… Terrible thing to live in fear, as Stephen King put it. Living?

Honestly, next to Braxton dying, you having to live is the worst. Ask Virgil someday.

Virgil is only a reflection of you? Hell! I’m a reflection of you and don’t know what to tell you. More like I don’t know how not to lie to you. Because again, I overthought everything, and now you have a whole week to. That’s right, you’re not working. ANY?

Honestly! What have you been doing since we’ve been having this conversation? At best, waiting for your tax refund… On a Sunday… And that’s only one more worry. Get up. That’s right. Cleaning, cooking, the cost of living, and your Cock-a-Doodle-Doo. We’ll B Overthinking Virgil

1477 Days Without B III, Day 918 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 225 ~Heel B, Heal V~

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Chains and whips excite me. But I would give it up to put Braxton’s leash on him and go walk. Or finally, give V a collar and tags with his name on them. And I wish all their barking wasn’t drowned out by the noise. MAGA and moaning. “Heel B, Heal V”

Tuesday, February 11, 2025

Meditation 225 ~Heel B, Heal V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? As selfish as I am. My love, I am capable of such. But me first…

I should give the Adult Channels a rest. Not for the more apparent reasons, darling.

Locking the door to keep V and the two-legged kids out and such. No one wants to see how the sausage gets made or where it goes. Did I mention making money on my OF?

But if the two of us were together my sweet love, I would share my interests, fetishes, and kinkiness with you openly and without reservation.

No! I want to sign off because, like everything I do, it comes back to my son. Braxton? From the 31st to the 15th of this month, I’m always angry and depressed, like Mr. Grumpy Pants. If I can keep my pants on with Friday being Valentine’s Day. Thursday’s Braxton’s birthday. So you and me?

And her and her, simultaneously…

That’s a South Park joke. But here I am, making jokes instead of letting the dead rest in peace. Or how about embracing the living. Four years is not enough. It will never be, love.

But speaking about four years… Again, with the Adult Situations. I still find it WEIRD. Love, I see such desires, passions, and intimate moments, and suddenly, Trump AD, Maga, Elon Musk, etc. That makes me feel like a horrible human being. Well, after my B.

Braxton is still around, and then again, he’s not. Only his remains. In a box on the nightstand. And he ain’t leaving. Neither is Virgil. But as I eternally mourn the dead, how can I name the living. Some days, I don’t say Virgil’s name.

And with my two furry sons… One “shining down on me from Heaven.” The other howling at the door. I just want to say, “Stop crying your heart out.” I see B III everywhere. Virgil’s voice is in my ears. Only there’s you, my love, my life. Lovely, Beautiful Freak.

What am I to do with you? Things you can tell your dog but not your girlfriend/wife. I know what I want, and you’ll have to forgive me for using another song… Stay With Me.

I can think of several things we could do on our knees or in bed. Only these days do I seek out the most depraved. If not, downright criminal. Why? Like my two boys, I can’t… Heel B, Heal V

1472 Days Without B III, Day 913 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will