Tag: Heartbroken

Journey 161 ~Braxton The Gifted, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

My sons are gifts, but B is gone. My girl… excuse me, my woman. M Anime was a gift, but she’ll be getting married in January… And as for myself, at present… Well, I feel more depressed than like a rocket scientist. But, “Braxton The Gifted, Virgil”

Tuesday, December 9, 2025

Journey 161 ~Braxton The Gifted, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? More than Christmastime, ha! “Ooh, sugar pie, honey bunch. You know that I love you.”

‘Tis the season? What, you can love, get laid, and even lament on Christmas. Closer?

Honestly, “I Can’t Help Myself.” What, thinking about gifts for you, our two-legged children, and of course, there’s always Virgil and Braxton. I owe Braxton at least fifteen gifts—five birthdays, Christmases, and homecoming or Gotcha Day. I don’t remember when he hopped into the car, but I’ll never forget Sunday, January 31, 2021. Hell, maybe Gotcha Day could be May 1st. I’m sure I met B sometime in April. And how did I get on this when I’m supposed to be talking about the present? Well, my Christmas presents. Anyway, I THINK I want a breastplate like Maximus from “Gladiator.” But with a picture of both Braxton and Virgil.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

And as I walked with Virgil this afternoon, I thought that I want a “monitor belt” or a watch from The Long Walk to measure my walking speed. More like my running speed since I’m “The Running Man,” and all. And that leads me to a question. Safe and sound.

When’s the last time I got something silly? Something salty, saucy, and spicy? In other words, delicious. Oh, I go to the food truck once a week. And stories, either in salacious words or on the big screen. And if it doesn’t suck, what about sexy? Well, I have you.

Somehow, someway, I got you. But I’m a selfish, STUPID, SOB… sorry, Ma. I want… Everything! “The World, Chico, And Everything In It.” That’s me.

And yet I call my firstborn, my B, gifted. He treated every day as a gift. He had all the gifts. And to him, I was the greatest gift of all. Do I give myself too much credit, my love?

Two points make a line. Three points make a pattern. Braxton loved/loves me. And I convinced you to do the same. Well, that was more of a choice… Um, Sunday, August 24, 2025. And what about V and our two-legged children? I’m Daddy, always, forever.

But you know what would be a present, what would make me a good person, what would complete a pattern? If I loved myself. “What I Go To School For?” Busted, because I failed. But Braxton? Braxton The Gifted, Virgil1773 Days Without B III, Day 1214 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 159 ~Virgil, and B Days~

WillLeave a comment

Had a bad day again, and it’s only 11:30 AM. Hell, my bad days begin at midnight, and the best part of the day is usually somewhere between waking up at 2 AM and sleeping until I have to go to the Day Job. Everything else, my boys, Virgil, and B Days

Sunday, December 7, 2025

Journey 159 ~Virgil, and B Days~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Are you sure? You had a hard time reading this morning. That damn old, ornery, or ogling…

Well, a couple of hours ago, it was this office girl in the book “Shared At The Office” (Ganged for the First Time) by Chantelle Torres. Three guesses what that’s about. Four or five counting yabbos… You ain’t ever gonna change, which is why you’re effed for another week. Hell, at least you get to read before going to the Day Job. Yes, Day Job…

Speaking of having a Day Job, December 7, 1941, “a date which will live in infamy.” You had to say something, right? You ain’t MAGA or a STUPID Cracker Hat. It is what it is?

You hate that saying, but yeah, it’s history unless we’re talking about 1984. Ah, the books I once read. And the goals. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Shared At The Office, Ganged for the… by Chantelle Torres
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 007 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

As you can guess, Chantelle Torres’ book was not a Christmas Erotica. These B days. Honestly bad, busy, and busting… Eww! And don’t forget bawling my eyes out for my boys. One more day without Braxton. And like father, like son, Virgil and his “Anxiety.”

No, you won’t be playing Doechii at the Day Job. Sorry, I effed that up for you. And of course, you’ll be apologizing next week. But shouldn’t we always start with Braxton? The day he… passed away was a b*tch. And people think that of you. At least there’s people.

Broke with a Day Job, but at least you have it. That’s my big win for you, Mr. No Balls, ha! Augmenting realities, moments not days. Goals? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Snowed In With Grumpy, Silver…
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

To be or not to be? That’s not really a question anymore because one more B comes calling, and that’s your belly. What are you doing for dinner tonight? Even now, you wish you could ask M Anime that. She was coming here seriously pre-breakup.

The 16th is Ma’s birthday. 24th is four months without M Anime. Christmas Eve, ouch! Then Christmas, New Year’s, and M is getting married in January, more like F Days.

Holidays and existence in general suck for three reasons: Funds, Family/Friends, and Fun. You have no money, B’s gone, V’s scared, and you’re your Olds bum. And fun… No joy, nothing jostling, presents, playing games, porno/erotica books, or jiggly yabbos.

Someday at Christmas can eff off. Virgil, and B Days

1771 Days Without B III, Day 1212 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 154 ~Love B Later, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

The things we forget about during the day. Good Night, Good Luck? More like goodbye to the penniless author… I checked. The horny dude? This morning eww! No, I am “The Walking Dead,” and I say goodbye and R.I.P. to me, but… Love B Later, Virgil.

Tuesday, December 2, 2025

Journey 154 ~Love B Later, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I love you. I’ll see you later. But do I ever say goodbye? I’m Irish…

As in an Irish Goodbye. I only say goodbye to one person. You’re looking at him. A “crazy” thought, right? What about a sad one… Or two. I remember saying goodbye to Braxton on his literal deathbed. And I don’t remember saying it at all on Sunday, August 24, 2025. Only Alanah Rae in My Wife’s Hot Friend Vol. 12 Big Boob Edition. My love.

You know me. I’m the effing Sherlock Holmes of Adult Films. And I’m feeling… Gross.

Always in the mood for you, my beloved, but icky. Stress Release? Whatever for love?

Are we getting married again? Are you pregnant? V is “Safe and Sound,” thanks, Taylor.

My love, this is my third business week and possibly my last. Last week was…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Excruciating, emasculating, and freaking effed. Do you remember our wedding day, my love? Ok, you have lots of reasons to be mad at me, but please hear me out. I’ll never be a Christian man, but I do subscribe to that Bible verse, “Love is patient, love is kind,” etc.

Love is not STUPID, honestly, that my love is one of my greatest fears. Being STUPID. Because STUPIDITY kills, it’s what triggers my anxiety. And I love you and our family. I tell Virgil later because one day I may love him, not like Braxton, but with no less love.

“It is remarkable how similar the pattern of love is to the pattern of insanity.”
The Merovingian, The Matrix Revolutions

“My will is stronger than my heart. Do you think I put so high a price on my feelings? They’ll pass. My will holds me to my course through life,”
Queen Guinevere, First Knight (1995)

Ahh! I understand how Guinevere felt about King Arthur in comparison to Lancelot in First Knight. I don’t love my work, but I say, “later.”

Or I don’t say anything at all. If you can’t say something nice and all that… But who do I say goodbye to? Me. And the thought that came over me today… Besides myself, eww!

Anyway, I thought about the times you had to do it. Again, like Lancelot asking Guinevere to forget who she was. When you covered your face with a veil, you were one woman, and when it was removed, you were my woman, my wife. You can be a monster… and I’m your “Savage,” thank you, Whethan. You’re strong, sexy, smart, and oh so sinful, lover.

However, with that, it takes only the thought of tomorrow, and I say goodbye to myself. Why? I’m Afraid! Always, Forever. Love B Later, Virgil.

1766 Days Without B III, Day 1207 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 152 ~This B And Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

What did I say last week? And the week before that. And every week since… Hell, I can remember when I lost Braxton, broke up with M Anime, and had the worst day of my life. Because this B just ain’t no good. What will my bosses say? This B And Virgil

Sunday, November 30, 2025

Journey 152 ~This B And Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Because who else would I be talking to? All your bosses are women. M Anime? Uh well…

The only time you’d call her the “B-word” is during sexy time. She wanted to be all sorts of freaky in your bed. Not that you’ll ever know. Hell, even after three months, you’re still trying to figure out whose fault it was for your breakup. Your Brokenness, her wanting Babies, and have you counted Bucks? Can’t be too many of those left. Cowardice, dude!

Your cowardice! Because Braxton wasn’t a b*tch. He was only B. And little Virgil? Blah. Whatever he is, it’s better than you. And what about in three days? Wednesday’s coming.

And not in the hot as Hell sort of way with Jenna Ortega, you perv. Do you remember when that was your biggest concern? Because it’s never Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 6 His Sorority Harem by Neil Bimbeau
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 007 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

But maybe you should be thinking about your future. You mean past this coming Wednesday. Because this B ain’t lying to you. But if it helps, I don’t know anything.

Honestly, I only THINK you’re effed. And much like MAGA and those Cracker Hats, I’m only right when I’m doing something very wrong. But again, what about your bosses, Braxton, and your other little boy? “Bye, Bye, Bye.” I wonder how they would have felt if you played NSYNC at the Day Job? Again, that’s the elephant in the room—the big b*tch, if you will. And I know you like that, Cherry, Momokun, Piper Niven, to name a few.

Seriously, you can name some BBW you want to do, but these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As Yet To Be Found
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 007 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Although last night I did something that I thought was impossible. Well, to you anyway, considering you’re STUPID. Isn’t that a worse word than b*tch? Anyway, last night, I watched WWE Survivor Series: War Games. You know, as Wolverine said, “I’m Canadian,” according to the VPN. Yeah, you’ve used one before. You’re not some genius.

I know I’m not being very helpful. Am I getting you ready for Wednesday? That will be your win for the week. It’s something much better than saying you got to see half-naked women beat the crap out of each other. And what about reading about it… More Neil Bimbeau?

Or do you fall back on tradition with Christmastime Erotica? Just keep a Day Job for “This B And Virgil.”

1764 Days Without B III, Day 1205 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 147 ~B’s An Option, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

There was no option between Braxton and me but to love. Always and forever. Even when he was starving and couldn’t eat a thing, there was always his wanting to “Lay Be Me” like his name was Ruben. I’m “trying” not to join him. “B’s An Option, Virgil”

Tuesday, November 25, 2025

Journey 147 ~B’s An Option, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? More than my Braxton? What about my bed? Whether I have a billion or bucks.

I’ve made my decision. Today was a disaster. And dammit, I’m up. Not like that…

Honestly, I want to go back to sleep… Permanently with everything that has happened today.

Where do I even begin? How did I become HIS father? My firstborn son, Braxton Barks Bradford. How did I become your husband? And how about his and hers? Children?

Again, I return to where our marriage started to show “options.” Sunday, August 24, 2025. Hell, it was before that, Sunday, January 31, 2021. In August, we lost ourselves. In January, I lost HIM… Braxton.

Braxton, my firstborn, “My Sweet Lord,” and my everything until… You. And I made the same promise. Always and forever. Forever and Always. Then there are days like this. “Mama said there’ll be days like…”

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

This? My mama wasn’t like “The Man” from Cormac McCarthy’s “The Road.” “I’m Thinking of Ending Things” is a movie title and not an idea that drones on and on. Winston Smith, weighing his options and knowing the inevitable conclusion. Like him, all I have to do is “transfer to paper the interminable restless monologue that had been running inside his(my) head, literally for years.” That was never an option for me, either, my “Sweet Love.” Loving my boy, well, boys with Virgil. Our children. You. And since I first wrote my name, the written word. The only option for me has been loving myself.

Somehow, today I find myself hating myself even more than usual. Is that possible? Always.

Why is that, you ask?

Ask yourself why you are still “Dear Future Wife,” and here I am, forty-one, somehow. No, not somehow, the truth of the matter is your husband is C for Coward, D for Deviant, and F for Failure—a and B? Archie, Virgil’s “first” name. Braxton, my Ma named him, ha!

And what about E? Enough? That’s what I’m contemplating right this second because of “Tomorrow.” As Salif Keita sings, I don’t understand it, but it’s going to be sad, love. Braxton always knows about “The Bad Place.” Virgil cries for me. And tomorrow no one will “Stand By Me.” Not for The Long Walk I must endure. I’ll be “The Running Man” for sure. Panic Attacks aren’t optional, Depression, Anxiety, FEAR… B’s An Option, Virgil.

1759 Days Without B III, Day 1200 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 145 ~B’s For November, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

If I can survive this week… I’ve said that since B died. Hell, I’ve been saying that even longer. Only then was it the next five minutes. Today? Other than some “C.R.E.A.M.,” the green, and a bimbo queen, why did I wake up? “B’s For November, Virgil”

Sunday, November 23, 2025

Journey 145 ~B’s For November, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I ain’t gonna sugarcoat this. As if you can sugarcoat anything. Baking, Cooking, Grilling. And so…

If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen. You got enough Hell as is, and I’m sorry. I did all I could, but the next couple of days are going to be less turkey and more chicken. And Hell, who knows if you’ll still be eating at all. Panic Attack, Anxiety, FEAR!

Monday, November 24, 2025, is the three-month anniversary of your breakup with M Anime. The woman hasn’t said a word. Uh, her wedding to the NEW guy is coming soon.

And you can’t forget the whole humiliation with the speaker and the truck crew. EFF!

Tuesday, November 25, 2025, you have to talk to the manager to get trained in “Return Drop,” or tell her you just won’t do it, and prepare to face the penalty, no Day Job, Fired?

Wednesday, November 26, 2025, you either run like a b*tch when you have your Panic Attack, or you don’t go at all. And what about facing your fears? Excuse me! (Starts to laugh and cry madly). I know that’s not funny. Honestly though, ain’t happening.

Thursday, November 27, 2025, is Thanksgiving. It was arguably Braxton’s favorite day of the year. Virgil gets much less. But that’s not his fault; sadly, your Ma sends less food.

Friday, November 28, 2025, will be a repeat of Wednesday. If you kept the Day Job, then you’ll lose it now. And while trying to recover from seeing your Olds, the question then becomes, “What now?” STAY ALIVE. Ok. But speaking of Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 7 His Sorority Harem by Neil Bimbeau
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

So there it is in black and white. But what about green? You made around eighteen bucks this morning. I swear, here I was thinking about the magic glasses and people make Augmenting Reality, AI, or Alternative Facts, as those effing MAGA Cracker Hats would say, real. FDT! But “It’s a wicked world that we live in. It’s cruel and unforgiving.” But “The Transplants” from writing to video and back again, well… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As Yet To Be Found
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Nothing is impossible… You could show yourself right now, hugging your sons. Braxton and Virgil united. You could write an erotic story for a client and dollar, dollar bills, y’all.

Make that C.R.E.A.M. while someone creams. But November’s grade? F! Eff! B’s For November, Virgil

1757 Days Without B III, Day 1198 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 140 ~Braxton Tried, Virgil Convicted~

WillLeave a comment

Do or do not, there is no try. Tried being a Dad. B III made it to 15. V hasn’t been 5 for a whole month. Tried being a boyfriend. M Anime left as I couldn’t afford two-legged babies. I would have tried. Tried like me? Braxton Tried, Virgil Convicted

Tuesday, November 18, 2025

Journey 140 ~Braxton Tried, Virgil Convicted~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? That’s it, or that’s it? I’m not a Beatle, though I’ve seen plenty flying around.

Beetles, bucks, and nice boobs, rather Yabbos. It’s hard to reject them, resist them, and remember them all. Braxton knows I tried… Or Lord knows I tried, —my Sweet Lord.

Love, I like the song, but don’t care much for the entity. I tried that, my father, high school, and while Braxton lay dying. And that’s how I feel today. Like I’m dying right here.

That’s not cool to tell you, is it? We could go around each other all day asking if love makes you feel dead or gets you through the day, “awake and alive.” Ah, Mr. Gabriel.

As in Peter Gabriel… As opposed to other “Silly Love Songs.” You’ve had enough, love?

I’m trying to give more. “I wish it from myself.”

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Songbird? The original Fleetwood Mac or Santana to Brittany from Glee? You know that makes me feel a particular kind of way, love. If anything gets me out of “Loser Like Me” ideas, it’s a lady like you and one of your lady friends. Too many harem books, my love?

You’ll be the only mother of my children. And yes, we should try for more. But if I ever get Jacob, Grayson, Eddie, or Ethan’s coin… All the haremlit. And I’m a good Dad. Sigh.

That, of course, goes for my furry boys as well, Braxton and Virgil. How can I be better for them? Virgil deserves better? And Braxton definitely knows I can be better. Real good. The best. Like I’m in “The Warriors.”

And this is where the rubber meets the road, my love. I have to learn to love myself. And that’s not me being negative again. It’s a fact. But I have an honest-to-Braxton question about that, my love. Where do I begin? Not only “Once In A Lifetime,” I ask myself, “Well, how did I get here?” “When Will My Life Begin?” You know, I’m trying… No, ever better beloved.

“I’m starting with the man in the mirror.” Life is a series of tries, my love. But sometimes you can only try once and then… Well, we’re here. I have one wife. Always and forever.

That’s you. I’m telling the man in the mirror, that “I will TRY to FIX YOU.” Braxton Tried, Virgil Convicted.

“We’re allowed to make a lot of mistakes in our lives, except the mistake that destroys us.”
― Paulo Coelho, Veronika Decides to Die (1998)

1752 Days Without B III, Day 1193 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 138 ~It’ll B Done, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Even Jesus said, “It is finished.” Then again, what do I know? “War, war never changes?” I’ve done some pretty effed up things. And in the words of Rambo, “Nothing is over! Nothing!” And I’m not done. Braxton, Boobs, Books. It’ll B Done, Virgil.

Sunday, November 16, 2025

Journey 138 ~It’ll B Done, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I wish today’s question were this. Did ancient Egyptians use contractions? The Mummy? “The Mummy Returns?

I go to see one movie, and next thing you know, a bunch of other stuff comes out for sure.

Fifty bucks! Thirty-five for “The Running Man”: a small popcorn and a blue raspberry Icee. Ha! And another fifteen at the food truck. What is left for you? Apologies friend.

Honestly? The best favor I could’ve done you didn’t get done. More FEAR, less funds.

Seriously, you’re effed! But you have your sons, Braxton and Virgil, new sins, and sleep. Well, not today, since you still need to eat, which means a trip to the store is in order, friend. What have you been doing with all your time? Is “Whiteout Survival” that damn serious? Oh, and finishing Bikini Magic. Eight minutes. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Bikini Magic by Michael Dalton
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

You have to get back into the habit of being positive. Do you remember that game “Two Truths and a Lie?” You’re a positive person. You miss M Anime. And you’re not a good man. Too easy, but I am sorry I’m coming down on you. Twelve hours. Nothing done.

MAGA, the Cracker Hats, and the president are so much worse. FDT, always and forever.

You would be a much more benevolent ruler. Quite the pharaoh, if you will. And leave it to X\Twitter to show you that there are lines you won’t cross. Evils that must be opposed. And that’s why you’re looking at me and I at you. When, oh when, my lord?

Tomorrow, my “Sweet Lord?” You playing DJ? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As Yet To Be Found
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You think the LOD won’t be letting you do that again. One more reason Monday is going to suck big time. You want it to be over and done with already. Hell, you wish it was done before we even met. That’s why you lounged around in bed. Again, Michael Dalton’s “Bikini Magic,” a full-out warring on the phone, and ten bucks on yabbos. Any yabbos, which is an effed up way to play people. You want to be done. E-Day, B’s passing, M’s leaving. And like I said yesterday, you’re standing, “Stand by Me.” You’re on “The Long Walk.” I get to sit down. Now you have to run. You’re “The Running Man” today.

Nothing is done! Until next week… It’ll B Done, Virgil

“Everything is done.”
Michael Townley

1750 Days Without B III, Day 1191 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 133 ~Wars B Through V~

WillLeave a comment

I wanted to be a fighter pilot. I told my Ma that I wanted to be the Secretary of Defense. I said DEFENSE. I also wanted to be a wartime writer. I did a few weeks in the Navy. You live for the fight when that’s all that you’ve got. Wars B Through V

Tuesday, November 11, 2025

Journey 133 ~Wars B Through V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Like I know about World War I and II. Okay, at least two. American Education…

I know it’s Veterans’ Day, but as for my family… My Olds? Boys? Our Family… “A Small Talent For War?” And that’s what existence feels like, The Twilight Zone. In my heart, I long for peace. “Deep in the cell of my heart, I will feel so glad to go.” Go where you ask me? Anywhere there’s peace, my love. I stopped looking for “Love AND Happiness so long ago. What? Am I saying you don’t make me happy? The children? B III and 2-V?

Beloved, what I’m saying is that things like happiness, love, peace, freedom, etc, are worth fighting AND dying for. And I understand why men choose a blaze of glory. I save what I love, but I FEAR. Forget. I fight.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

“We’re going to win this war not by fighting what we hate, but saving what we love!”
The Last Jedi

“Love Is A Long Road,” “Love Is A Battlefield,” and I wish I could believe like The Beatles that “All You Need Is Love,” and then I see what it takes to fight for it. “Angel With A Shotgun.” I’m lucky that I married you, right? “I will be your sword and shield, your camouflage. And you will be mine.” With our hands full, the kids can carry our happiness.

And who are we fighting? Directly, I would say MAGA, the Cracker Hats. FDT, always.”

But as Haymitch says, remember who the real enemy is—the loss of my mutt. Please, Braxton was a purebred Deer Head Chihuahua. Little Virgil lives with my misery. You?

Yes, you as well. I fight for the moment, love.

Dawn of the Dead’s Frank said, “You want… every… single second.” But there’s no shame in admitting this to you, my love. No negativity. Only the prayer like I’m Tupac.

“Heavenly Father, I’m a soldier, I’m gettin’ hotter
Cause the world’s getting colder, baby let me hold ya.”
‧ Tupac

But then the truth is “I got soul, but I’m not a soldier.” A brief stint in the Navy. Water…

If I knew that I could cry this much, I would have stayed. I could drown either way, my love. Hell! I could cause a wave or make us an island… MAGA, zombies, M Anime…

“Somewhere Only We Know,” to escape. Somewhere there is no FEAR, where I don’t feel like I’m fighting every day, and we can eff like bunnies. It’d give Braxton peace…

Seriously! Virgil fights doors. And me? Wars B Through V.

1745 Days Without B III, Day 1186 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 131 ~Tao Of B, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Another early morning, another book. Three bucks for a thirty-page book? And how many books have I written about a woman taking her clothes off? What about B’s book? That was out in August, and here I have no Day Job hours or sales. Tao Of B, Virgil.

Sunday, November 9, 2025

Journey 131 ~Tao Of B, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Which reminds you, go and pick up some soap, have a shave, and forget who she is.

You know, the woman who has you looking up Taoism. Religion on a Sunday morning…

Before the Asian woman, it was “Polly & Her Boss,” because “Lord, Heaven’s above” you finish “Bikini Magic” by Michael Dalton. And Kelli Wolfe’s “Dark Desires” wasn’t available on Amazon this morning. It could be worse—nothing on pet bereavement.

Honestly, “I’m only human after all. Don’t put your blame on me,” or you today. Music and manuscripts, so “Just a day, just an ordinary day.” And you’re saying to yourself, “I’m just an ordinary human.” It’s some people you can’t say that to anymore, and I’m sorry about that. Not to sound psychotic but less people equals more peace. And with this coming week. Depression and Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Polly & Her Boss (Collage Girl Erotica) by Kelli Wolfe
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Oh, you’re going to need all of the words now, I must say. The song today is all about you.

As in “All About You” song by Jeymes Samuel. As if they’re ever going to let you control the speaker in the stockroom ever again with your playlist… Really, why is this at the forefront of your mind? Music is meant to bring you peace, except with other people, ha.

And that’s your problem. People? You are not one of the people. Even in this place, you were one person before Sunday, January 31, 2021. And then you became a different person—one before Saturday, August 13, 2022, and then another. Before Sunday, August 24, 2025… Now you’re different again.

And now you’re thinking about M Anime. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Bikini Magic by Michael Dalton
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You’re existence is not natural or harmonious. “I’ve been let down. I’ve been turned around. I’ve been misused and so confused.” And you will be too. Even though you have no hours and all you have is Virgil. Not that you’re blaming him. He’s a good boy, little 2-V. But blocking out the noise, the tick of the clock, tiny bug feet, and tinkling finances. Even your motivations are sorely confused, you even have to toil, trust the process, or trust what will flow to you. A little bit of everything. Today, this week, what will you do, hmm? Chase the rabbits or grow the garden. Meditate better to Levitate with a woman or join Braxton. Tao Of B, Virgil

1743 Days Without B III, Day 1184 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will