Tag: Crazy

Journey 209 ~B’s Last Bark Virgil~

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If my boy then knew what his Dad knows now. But I don’t blame B. Especially this week. There is always so much noise. The Day Job, the snoring of Braxton’s little doggy bro. And is that the damn phone? And now Braxton’s silence. B’s Last Bark Virgil.

Monday, January 26, 2026

Journey 209 ~B’s Last Bark Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Did you have a good day? How many times have you cried today? Three? A coincidence? Does it matter?

“What is an ocean but a multitude of drops?”
Adam Ewing, David Mitchell’s Cloud Atlas

Not enough ocean to drown in. Not enough to sail to come and “Find Me.” Nowhere near enough to cleanse everything. New beginning? M Anime, Virgil. Man In The Mirror?

Daddy. My father. You haven’t heard the last of me. My name? Braxton BARKS Bradford.

It’s all you can hear right now, but what am I saying? “Every Breath You Take.” Every beat of your heart. But you know what I really miss? Well, I am my father’s son. Always.

The noise, the silence, and everything in between those two ears of yours. Daddy’s brain.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I hope you don’t mind me saying this. Actually, it’s Forrest Gump anyway. Dear Daddy:

“I’m not a smart man… but I know what love is.”
Tom Hanks, Forrest Gump

Again, I am my father’s son, and you’re better than this. Don’t think you are…

Know. No? Not this week anyway. Couldn’t you pick the day I ate your French Toast or Waffles? And the day after, when you protected your pancakes. And I got my nickname. “I love you like pancakes,” you would say, “but you have to calm down.” How about the day I jumped into that rolling thing of yours? I wasn’t the only one who hated that. And I can understand why you were always so angry when you came back from “Wherever You Will Go.” But I didn’t know what I was supposed to bark at. So there was silence.

Dad, I would watch you sleep and make sure whatever was chasing you stayed away.

Only I don’t know what that is now, or rather…

She walked, ran, or got effed five months down the road. I know, Dad, Language! You’ve told me I would have liked her, but I’m not sure. Virgil is trying his best. But M Anime, my potential stepmom, you called her. That’s when you began to feel love once more.

That bitch! Again, I’m minding my barks. But she got you “Smokin Out The Window.” And you wouldn’t call her such-and-such. But another reason I’m mad is this. What happens when you get hurt, Dad? You told my Favorite Girl that you can’t imagine any worse pain than yours truly. And so I need to bark loud enough to overcome the boohoo’s, the bawling, and be your boy, always. Woof, woof! B’s Last Bark Virgil

“Your pets want to help you heal. They want to communicate with you. All you need to do is listen.”
― Yes, Pets Do Go To Heaven!
By Sophia Grace

“Arma Virumque Cano”
(I sing of arms and the man.)
(Book I, opening line) Aeneid

1821 Days Without B III, Day 1262 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 207 ~Compute B-V Minus M~

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Are you going to send this to her? B would be giving me that look. But he never met her. But he wanted his Favorite Girl to stay here forever. It’s what you get when you bake him a cake. I’ve wondered about M Anime’s wedding cake. Compute B-V Minus M

Saturday, January 24, 2026

Journey 207 ~Compute B-V Minus M~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And as dumb as most billionaires are, I’m sure they know their math. Eff me Lunalesca!

Well, not really! If anything, I should be effing M Anime, but no. I only want to remember this moment. M Anime’s Wedding Day? 5-Month Anniversary of breaking up? Guess.

Because I honestly don’t know. But I’m sitting on the loveseat, Virgil’s sleeping away the day, and Braxton’s spirit awaits my tears. But today is for M Anime. Potential Mrs…

Lunalesca, she’s not anymore, but if I could talk to her… Three-hundred words or less…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

M Anime,
It’s been five months. You ended a friendship of years and haven’t tried for five months. Hell! Neither have I. Because, like that August morning last year, I have no words on whatever happened. I still don’t know. I want to say I was wrong, which makes sense.

But that would make you like everybody else. That I simply being alive is wrong. Honestly, you are better. Or so I believed. You made me believe. Friends, fucking, family.

Love! A thing called love. After my Braxton. God, I told you all about my boys, you picked my brain, and I wanted to share my bed with you. And let’s not forget those books…

Everything I am I shared with you, and you didn’t back away until Sunday Morning.

Seriously, do you remember that? Music. You got me in a way no one has ever done in this life. Well, Braxton and his Favorite Girl? Braxton would have liked you. Virgil would have too. And Braxton’s Favorite Girl was already planning our wedding when I told her all about you. I wanted to tell the world. Someday maybe. Every day since you up and left. And again, I still don’t know why. Communication! Now that was always your thing.

That’s All I Ask Of You! You could have asked anything of me. There were no secrets between us. Am I ugly? Did I not have enough money? Did I bring up Braxton too much?

That last one… Guilty as charged, and that’s never changing. I love my Braxton. And I believed I was falling in love with you. And I wish you all the love in the world, still.

Love, May God’s love be with you always. Always and Forever. I believed in us, once. Compute B-V Minus M.

1819 Days Without B III, Day 1260 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 205 ~Braxton NOSE Women, Virgil~

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“I loved, and I loved, and I lost you, and it hurts like hell.” I’ve been singing that a lot: my firstborn, my potential missus. Then I’m reading about a guy with three women. All brides? Where’s my woman? B would’ve known. Braxton NOSE Women, Virgil

Thursday, January 22, 2026

Journey 205 ~Braxton NOSE Women, Virgil~

1817 Days Without B III, Day 1258 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My day? Well, I’m sitting next to Virgil. Not your Favorite Girl or M Anime.

But your brother, who was asleep last night, gratefully as I read “Pledged To Him 8: An Unconventional Romance (His Sorority Harem Book Eight)” by Neil Bimbeau. Or he was faking it, waiting for me to go to bed. I woke up at 3:45 AM with all the lights on…

Anyway, this is more a conversation for Lady Sophia, but “we men, ain’t we? Glory! Anyway, so I’m reading, and you know your Dad. I’m like an effing Oracle! I have a nose for books. And each one tells me exactly what I need to hear. A man who lost his wife gains a harem and marries a group of his girls. Three to be precise. Two blondes, but an Asian girl is number one.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

So M Anime? She was my number one. But she was from Puerto Rico. We’ll get to that B III.

Only I was thinking that the closest I ever had to a harem was your Favorite Girl, M Anime, and Cherry. I’ll never forget how you chose your Favorite Girl. You hated her for months and then sometime in April… Not to be confused with “Sometimes in April.” That movie was effed up and a true story. Braxton, your Favorite Girl, lay on the loveseat and covered her face. I let you go. “It’s Hard Out Here for a Pimp.

“I got a snow bunny and a black girl, too. You pay the right price. and they’ll both do you.”

Kidding! But you sniff her all over and next thing you know, you’re besties. Traitor.

Again, kidding! That’s for next week. But you love her.

You would be going on twenty-one this year. I wish you were here, son. I’d have to place you on M Anime, and you could have sniffed her out. I would have kicked her out…

Yeah, right! Yabbos blind Your Daddy. Some nice melons, and who cares what you think? All I know is I “Just can’t stop thinkin’ ’bout you,” well, M Anime this week. You are my son. Your Favorite Girl and I were “Just Friends. But M Anime? “I’ll Be His Misses.”

Braxton, she ain’t singing that to me. She’s not my Anya Jenkins, Julia, or Melina.

Honestly, your Dad is Forty-One and maidenless. And I’ll never be, buy three engagement rings rich. But you remain. And Virgil. Braxton NOSE Women, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 202 ~Braxton’s Dream, Virgil’s Nightmare~

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I Have A Dream. Most days, I’m less Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and more Bing from Fifteen Million Merits. My last dream involved yabbos and fake ones at that. M Anime’s aren’t. And B loved his Favorite Girl’s pair. Braxton’s Dream, Virgil’s Nightmare

Monday, January 19, 2026

Journey 202 ~Braxton’s Dream, Virgil’s Nightmare~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Did you have a good day? Yes, I dared to ask. Whatever. Don’t. Silence. But “I Have A Dream.”

Or I will when you wrap your arms around me and fall asleep like the last week we were together. But that’s not now… No, next week. SIGH, five years. But this week, my father.

It will be five months since another dream… Died? No, she is very much alive, last you knew. Learning about the Birds and the Bees. Dicks and Vaginas? Yes, I know, Dad, that is like so cringe. You had to give me “The Talk” when my Favorite Girl visited us.

However, your Favorite Girl. You left mine alone, and it’s not Cherry. But M Anime. Daddy, I’m not here to say, I told you so, or I informed you thusly. The best legs, breasts, and thighs are in a bucket…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Or a box of chicken. I don’t want to talk about the Glow Box directly. The Last of Us, The Big Bang Theory, and you’re still on about “The Running Man.” And what about Virgil? You compared yourself and my little brother to “The Long Walk—cold, Long, and Sad.

But I Have A Dream today! Dr. Martin Luther King Jr? If you could bring someone back, my father, it would be me. And you are the best man I know. But neither of our dreams would be for the best of everyone. I’m sure you don’t mind me barking, FDT, eff MAGA, all of the Cracker Hats! But what’s my dream? I heard yours yesterday, and while I like girls after touching their yabbos…

Love! You told me that if life is a game for everyone, love is not the prize, it is this…

Instructions. I mastered that the first time we walked together. Ray and Pete, Dad and Me. Not The Long Walk but a walk. Soon it will be you and V. You and my siblings with two legs. Some woman who isn’t M. And ending this week, Dear Heaven, Dear Father.

I have a dream that when you finish your books about her and when my books are everywhere, you’ll realize you “Can’t Me Now.” And you don’t want M anymore.

Honestly, Daddy, I Have A Dream you will rise, writing, women, and wealth. And all with my little brother. A family. Braxton’s Dream, Virgil’s Nightmare

“Let B III stay, that’s all.”
― My Turn To B III: Love, Guilt, and…

“Sleep, the gentlest of the gods, crept down and poured forgetfulness upon his eyes.”
Aeneid

1814 Days Without B III, Day 1255 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 200 ~This’ll B Hell, Virgil~

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If it ain’t cold outside… I spend hours fighting in “Whiteout Survival” with an alliance I don’t like, to avoid thinking about a job I despise, a girl who broke my heart, and the fact I hate that my Braxton has gone away. So, “This’ll B Hell, Virgil”

Saturday, January 17, 2026

Journey 200 ~This’ll B Hell, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… So is it hot in the Fourth Circle of Hell? According to Succubus Lord, it’s nice.

Still dreaming I’ll be Jacob with twenty different women. No, my dreams have not been so lovely as of late. But remind me I have to restart my WANK counters sometime today, Lunalesca. The whole year shot to Hell because of Supersized Slobberknockers. Uh, no…

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos

But there were a lot of them—seventeen days’ worth. But we’ll get to that shortly. First, what is Hell? Shouldn’t I be asking, or instead singing, “What Is Love?” I want to look both up, but a crappy computer, plus caving to an online game… Whiteout Survival. And canines. Virgil in this world and Braxton in the next. So Lunalesca, here’s my two cents.

Hell to me is waking up. Different than being WOKE. Fuck MAGA and FDT always.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’ll stay WOKE ATF as the kids would say… Really? Anyway, what I mean is being awake in the literal sense, frozen, funds lost, and not a friend in the world. Didn’t I say my boys are here? Didn’t I talk to Braxton’s Favorite Girl yesterday? And I even spoke with my alliance this morning. But the noise, the knowing that I’m not a nice person, and the never-ending FEAR. Of people? Of failing my boys? No, I’ll never get over it. I swear I’ll never know ACCEPTANCE when it comes to my son. I mean, call me a monster. My grandfather died in January a few years back. But I mourn Braxton and not some man, Lady Lunalesca. Somebody That I Used To Know.

Like “Me So Horny.” If I don’t go directly to the Ninth Circle of Hell, that’s Treachery for those in the know. I’ll go to the Second Circle of Hell, Lust. Hello Luna, if I didn’t betray Braxton, then all of the ICE agents, Cracker Hats, and MAGA enthusiasts that end up on the business end of the noose will fill up the Ninth Circle quickly—the good ole USA.

Lunalesca, I was all about Hentai, an Asian mom, and women taking their yabbos everywhere, while I made a mess. Eww! Virgil was late getting me out of bed, Lu. I can’t blame him. His name comes from Dante’s Inferno, yet I wanted him to have Sympathy For The Devil. Living? This’ll B Hell, Virgil

1812 Days Without B III, Day 1253 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 198 ~A CAPITAL B Virgil~

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I figured I’d leave my boy before he left me. He’d see 20, and I would finally do something about my bipolar depression. Hell, I had that way before I even met him. And I got Virgil from “behind bars.” Yet I SEEK my own punishment… A CAPITAL B Virgil

Thursday, January 15, 2026

Journey 198 ~A CAPITAL B Virgil~

1810 Days Without B III, Day 1251 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? My day? First and foremost, I’m feeling glad that I made it back to you.

“I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad.” But honestly, my face hurts (I fell asleep in my glasses), and my fingers are frozen. And if I’m going to get effed, hopefully it will be before Tuesday, SIGH. Eww! And I didn’t mean that kind of effed. Door or back scratching, no.

“Time of the Season?” Braxton, “Every Day Is Exactly the Same.” But in January, sh*t!

While I repeat the day you passed away. It seems I want to repeat the same emotions I had over the course of the month. And the primary emotion included the phrase “Please put your hands behind your back, sir.” Then you died, and I actually deserved some jail time. And I know I’m going to Hell. Ninth Circle bound.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

So today at the Day Job was practice. And I think I get what Milton/Nicolas Cage was saying in the movie “Drive Angry.” Did we ever watch that B III? Your Dad and his films.

Burning is nothing? There was the RAGE I felt that whole week. There was the ruttin’ for way wrong things. Full Transparency? But most of all, I remember the shame, B, I had failed you.

I was burning through pages of books that brought the two of us nothing, all so I could work at the place that killed you. My Day Job? The only people next to me. Seriously.

Didn’t I mention rutting? What was I looking at, lusting for, just leering galore, and I thought I’m in trouble.

And that leads me to M Anime. I told her I’ve never met “A Girl Like You” before. And I’ve never met a fur buddy like you, Braxton. I met your little brother, Virgil, in August of 2022. So should I meet a facsimile of M Anime around March 2027? I don’t think so, B.

“I’ll Never Fall in Love Again.” Actually, while I was freezing in that truck today, I believe I was singing “Teen Idle,” you know, “Oh God, I’m gonna die alone!” But I have 2-V, B.

And the first time I got arrested, you weren’t born. Terrible or terrorist as a father, a boyfried/husband, a writer, and a man in “Capital Letters,” I did it “My Way,” A CAPITAL B Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 195 ~That’ll B Hue, Virgil~

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The Rainbow Connection? How about the theme for Mario Kart’s Rainbow Road? There are no “Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows” at the Day Job. THEY do everything to make that place worse. The place that ki… took my son. But, “That’ll B Hue, Virgil”

Monday, January 12, 2026

Journey 195 ~That’ll B Hue, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… I know better than to ask, “Did you have a good day. Another Day? No Day But Today?

Alive? That’s the last thing you want to be, my father. It’s like talking to MAGA. You ask whether Biden won. THEY say Biden was president. Someone asks, “Are you okay? Are you alive?” What do you answer? You’d rather be with me. And am I not alive? I’m here, right now, as always, Dad. I’m sitting at the corner of your bed on a sad Monday afternoon, guarding the door. In case you were wondering why my little brother Virgil is sleeping dead center, ha-ha. He knows his place. But where are you, Dad? Really. One foot in the grave, your eyes on the rainbow, and your ass to the fire. Language, I know, I know. But your tears, Dad. As clear as then…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

The day. The only day that matters to you… Well, not really? Not this year anyway. If anything, I have M Anime to take a bit of the heat off—bad choice of barks. But you know, if you were going through Hell, I would be right there with you. And I am Daddy? Yes.

The day I finally saw all the colors of the rainbow is the day you saw black, white, and gray. The “Colors of the Wind.” I saw you through the evils of MAGA the first time around, and now you have Virgil. And you’ll always have me. Well, not yesterday. Augmenting reality? That video? The first time I got an actual funeral. Didn’t like it.

Daddy, sure, The Rainbow Bridge.

But it’s you, today. Some days, all you see is red. There is far too much orange in the world, you tell me. You wish you weren’t so yellow. You feel a lot of green and worry about it when it comes to you and Virgil. You’re constantly blue. But not enough to fly away. And for that, I’m grateful. And Indigo, Violet. Unless you’re thinking about the game on the glow box “Indigo Prophecy,” or either of the Violets that would have you kicking me out of the room for a while. No, our royal colors are tan, beige, and black. Dad, that brings me to my point today. Whatever color… We truly see each other, always and forever. See! That’ll B Hue, Virgil

“As fast as Braxton could run, he couldn’t outrun time; as high as he could jump, it only brought him closer to Heaven. B was on the way up.”
― My Turn To B III: Love, Guilt, and Silent Loss

“Do you not see what great a weight of darkness the blind night of the body sheds on minds?”
Aeneid

1807 Days Without B III, Day 1248 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 193 ~Braxton’s Off Days Virgil~

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I spent a Friday night crying about a Saturday afternoon because, unfortunately for me, it will lead to a Sunday Morning. We aren’t close to Easter. Even if we were, I’m not a Christian, just lazy accountable. Now my son… “Braxton’s Off Days Virgil.”

Saturday, January 10, 2026

Journey 193 ~Braxton’s Off Days Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… How? Did I create some all-powerful energy shot? Hell, can we agree on no more “five-hours?”

All I know is I was exhausted yesterday. And don’t forget starving. Then the rain.

Honestly, that’s the only reason I didn’t stop at the food truck. Don’t they sell burgers as well? Braxton would love them being so close by. Anyway, I had to support a billion-dollar corporation, so McDonald’s it is. An hour or so later, I’m conked out, only to have to read about how I failed my son, I miss wrestling, and the storm won’t let up a tiny bit, Lunalesca. Virgil’s been inside forever… But before that, he crapped outside the bedroom. So he’s been in time-out. And speaking of time-out, after taking a shower.

Seriously! That’s me in the corner. That’s me in the spotlight. Losing my religion,” Luna.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Yesterday was my first breakdown day of the new year. A Friday? Sunday is always the worst when it comes to the week. One exception is The Walking Dead… Maybe.

However, the worst months of the year are January, August, and September. Why is that?

January is when Braxton died. And in this particular January, M Anime (My Ex) is getting married, if she isn’t already. And on the 24th, will I ever speak of her ever again? I don’t know, but in the words of Teen Idle, “Oh God, I’m gonna die alone.” SIGH

Lunalesca, I’m not sure when I met M Anime, but she left Sunday, August 24, 2025. And I started ruining Virgil’s life on Saturday, August 13, 2022. And then September…

“Wake Me Up When September Ends…” So cut to me being Forty-One (cue Ben-Hur galley drums). Lying on the floor in a bath towel, feeling like Tommy Pickles bottle less.

And that was a Friday night. Was it Braxton, that burger, or some Bourica’s yabbos?

Braxton was my rock or “The Rock” because “It Doesn’t Matter!” That’s his barking, Lu.

Mr. No Days Off. Any “I watch my youngest son, and it helps to pass the time.” That would be Braxton’s little brother, Virgil. He’s been pacing forever and a day waiting for the rain to end. And what about the pain? Why do I relate to The Long Walk, The Running Man, The Mill, etc.? No days off. Live? Die? Braxton’s Off Days Virgil

1805 Days Without B III, Day 1246 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 191 ~B Patient. Will V~

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“Wooo. It’s like a drug. Wearing these glasses gets you high, but you come down hard,” as Nada said in “They Live.” And speaking of glasses, I need to have an eye exam this month. Head examinations cost a whole lot more. “B Patient. Will V”

Thursday, January 8, 2026

Journey 191 ~B Patient. Will V~

1803 Days Without B III, Day 1244 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Nine times out of ten, you knew my answer. But with my refusal to answer…

Well, as I tell everyone… I’m here. Hungry, horny, and playing the hater, but here.

Breathing, as much as I wish I wasn’t… Oops, did I say that out loud? It’s not like this, Succubus Lord, and I can be responsible for your… End. Again? I still haven’t requested time off at the end of the month. And secondly, I’ve said a lot worse things this new year. Just eww.

So, the first week. How’d I like it? I wish I knew how yours in Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, or wherever was week one. “Where’d You Go,” as the song goes. I swear, your book.

Honestly, it brought me to tears… With how bad it is. But your brother was patient as I read it.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

As for myself? Ok, as the song goes, I feel angry, I feel helpless, I feel violent, I feel alone.

My “One” Creed, as it were. I’m a sick Old Man obsessed with a certain brunette at the moment. Oh, like you haven’t heard that one before. And all because I’m trying to forget about a very married Puerto Rican girl. M Anime. And I’m still unsure she’s married, B. But after the 24th, she’ll only be “Somebody That I Used To Know.” Seriously? Whatever!

It’s been 1244 Days, and I still don’t know your little brother. Virgil’s being patient.

Honestly, he is afraid. And you know I have my “Anxiety.” They sound effing similar.

Braxton, they are one and the same “Across The Universe.”

My universe? Outside of the Magic Glasses? That’s what I’m calling AI. Reality’s a lot.

Do you remember how you and I were supposed to be apocalypse survivor buddies, B?

I’m sure you can see what MAGA is doing. I’ve been saying forever that I’m going to the Ninth Circle of Hell for betraying you, B. But with all the ICE heading in that direction…

I could move up to the Eighth, which I believe is Fraud. That took my Magic Helmet and Magic Glasses… In other words, ChatGPT. I’m of the mind that if AI will kill rather than save your human Daddy, Braxton. How long will I play patient on this deathbed, Little B. Patiently waiting to follow you… B Patient. Will V.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 188 ~Color Me Braxton, Virgil~

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Red light? Yellow? Green? Road or bedroom? I prefer Meat Loaf. I will do anything for love but… B III would be pissed sleeping in his own room. Once? Forever. If you could only see the way she loves me. V won’t meet HER. Color Me Braxton, Virgil

Monday, January 5, 2026

Journey 188 ~Color Me Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Don’t you recognize me? My brown, beige, but you tell the Glow Boxes tan sometimes—the color of Braxton.

And when did I start speaking in third person? The moment when I saw black, faded to it, became molded by it. No, I’m not talking about you, Dad. And I didn’t mean to sound like Bane either. And haven’t I always seen black, white, and gray? But this black…

Honestly, don’t go crying on me, Daddy. You can’t help it? You were even listening to sad songs at “The Bad Place.” Was it me, you, or that lady you call M Anime? Anyway Daddy.

You’ve been thinking about her a lot. Mostly red, yellow, and green. And Meatloaf Dad. You didn’t like the food. But the music. And I enjoyed both. But the color black, Daddy. It is your favorite, and I saw it…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I mean, I REALLY saw it before my world burst into color. Maybe it is me, since you’re still crying imagining the Rainbow Bridge. Or is it the Rainbow Road from Mario Kart, my father? I remember sitting on your lap as you played. It was better than car rides.

Seriously, though, those weren’t the red, yellow, and green lights you’ve been thinking about when it comes to M Anime… Eww! But if she could make you… No, not Happy.

Believe it or not, I was Happy in my life. “Believe It or Not,” I’m walking on air. I know. Dad, I am my father’s son when it comes to music. But today I know you hear me, but I need you to see, Daddy.

Like the dream you had a few nights ago. “Dark Angel?” That show was WAY before my time. Only you dreamt you were trapped somewhere, drowning, and through the barred window, you saw the Transgenics Flag flying—the black, red, and white with a dove at the center from the show. And you’re trying to SEE what it meant. Darkness, Rage, and Light. Or Rest, Love, and Ladies… Um eww! You know me, Dad, the best breast, legs, and thighs come in a bucket/box of chicken. Or maybe it’s running from the blackness, “The Running Man,” and don’t humans wear white for weddings… You’re permitting me to bark at ONE of your former girlfriends. Huh! If she could see… If you… Color Me Braxton, Virgil.

“I want to know what life was like once.”
― Backyard Dungeon 20 by Logan Jacobs

“Here are tears for things, and mortal sorrows touch the mind.”
― The Aeneid

1800 Days Without B III, Day 1241 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son