Tag: Remember

Tale 139 ~They’ll B Books Virgil~

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A book a week is what I promise myself. But between Hollywood, the hidden mysteries of Kindle Challenges, and the history of my reading and my son… Hell! I even included a review. My first unwarranted since Braxton’s passing. “They’ll B Books Virgil”

Friday, November 17, 2023

Tale 139 ~They’ll B Books Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… With last week being a dreadful crime, I’m sure I’ll have money to burn on books.

Now, if I went ahead and finished Braxton’s novel, I’m not sure I’ll ever write one for Virgil Vivi. If I don’t want to see tomorrow… I’m writing to you on Wednesday, November 15, 2023. For damn sure, I don’t want to see forty. Another thing about E-Day… From then to now, which is about… You didn’t expect me to tell you the number? As fun as it is? Sophia, I shouldn’t be having fun. By now, I should have finished “Princess Tamer 2: A LitRPG Harem Adventure.” This means two weeks are remaining before Dirty Santa. Or should I say, Dirty Harry? And I do mean Harry Rivera and not the 1971 film series. Hell! Braxton was here when I read about Dennis Hof.

But you know, ahem, TRADITION. Every holiday season, I read a ton of Christmas Erotica. It started all the way back in 2018. So I was thirty-four. Braxton was thirteen. He was a grown man, but I kept such reading material far away from him. B was/is too smart for his own good. And with a title like “Christmas Cake. Ah! My boy B III. Speaking of titles and of better times than Christmas. What about when Braxton’s aunt and I watched The Hunger Games? While I’m buying books, have I gone to the movies? Thursday, November 16, 2023, is when “The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes” comes out, Lady Sophia. That’s what we should talk about. But I owe you a review of PORN.

PORN… I have seen, well, instead, read better. But there’s been much worse, too. Horror… only in a particular portion, and the reason I’m giving this three stars. Again, the sex was okay, but nothing to write about. Did I really just say that? Not that I regret reading this. Gore… there was that but more grossness. No one’s reading this because they expect a masterpiece or even to get off. But the twists of the story, now that’s what kept me reading, especially near the end. It messes with your head. I do mean the one on your neck…

I don’t know what brought that on Sophia. My first small review since Braxton’s passing. It’s Christmas time in Hell. Soon. They’ll B Books Virgil

1020 Days Without B III, Day 461 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 138 ~They’ll B Drama Virgil~

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Must B be so dramatic? Hell! It takes a lot for me not to burst into tears going to the Day Job. Or to keep my mouth shut. a little girl yells to her sister daily, Don’t Hit People!” How about watching movies with blood sports? They’ll B Drama Virgil

Thursday, November 16, 2023

Tale 138 ~They’ll B Drama Virgil~

1019 Days Without B III, Day 460 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I’d have to ruin that for you if you were still here. Now Virgil’s filter…

It’s “times like these” B that you would get all discouraged, depressed, and, yes, dramatic. The movie nights when I would leave you all by your lonesome. Hell! Sometimes, I would go out with Carolina Bound… or wherever she is now. I wish there were more of an impact on her moving. Now, I don’t get bothered by a whole lot, Braxton. It’s why you’re dead. Oh, listen to me! Today was relatively easy, considering I’m in a rush right now. Again, it’s movie night or afternoon. It depends on when I leave this bed, which I didn’t do on time this morning. Not that it would have mattered. Tomorrow is going to be much worse. But I say that every day (sigh). Another day…

You know, I hate saying that—the indifference of it all. I keep saying it, Braxton. It wasn’t the point of a needle. For all the drama you brought and Virgil too when it mattered… Braxton, you want to see drama? Take this morning as an example. I could have done “my” reading while sitting in the Day Job parking lot today. But no! I was scared of missing the boss. I thought somebody had died. Or had I messed up my schedule? Was I dreaming? Only I did that earlier in the morning. I’ve been on Twitter/X checking a post. Women, Little B, remember? Was I original the only one? Too sexual with her. Braxton, I would tell you to behave around your aunt.

The only time I keep myself in check is with my anger. I’m afraid to say nothing has changed at all, Braxton. I was mad before you and after when Virgil got here. It goes. Braxton Barks, trying to protect you from that means I never felt anything. Sometimes, you got in trouble, and “I Feel Everything” while you weren’t around. Yeah, gross. But your aunt and I would watch you get down and dirty with your toys, the weirdos we are. Fur parents, right? Yet there was joy when we all would sit and watch a movie. Tonight? I hope to see The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes. It’s better to leave the drama on screen. Sadly, They’ll B Drama Virgil

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 133 ~Vetting B and V~

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Veterans Day. I can’t say I’ll be watching any war movies… And while I have nothing but respect for soldiers, the bravest person I ever met wasn’t a person. My son Braxton went to war with the world, with death itself. And Virgil Vetting B and V

Saturday, November 11, 2023

Tale 133 ~Vetting B and V~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… And I’d like to think I would help “my country’s” veterans. Happy Veterans Day. Or rather….

Thank you for your service

See, I’m not a selfish so-and-so all the time. But I’m not “In The Navy” either. Hell! I was only in boot camp for a few weeks. And then there was that time I faced army recruitment… Did I want to be the “Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy?” No, I don’t think I will. There was even a time when I wanted to become the Secretary of Defense. Madness, Lunalesca. “No one man should have all that power.” And what was I saying about not being selfish? A picture-perfect nothing, negative narcissist. I’m not what anyone is looking for when it comes to being a sailor, soldier, or savior. But I would have fought for my boy; I would have died for Braxton Barks Bradford, Lunalesca.

My little “Toy Soldiers.” And yes, I include Virgil in that. I remember that night he immediately jumped to my defense against a possum on the fence. Loyalty Lady Lunalesca. These are the things we need to see in the vetting process. I’ve told the story about how I chose 2V that first day. When one warrior respects another as such. And I do mean my boy Braxton. I could go on forever and a day on why Braxton chose Virgil. I believe. But as for me… Virgil, or Archie at the time, knew how to use the pad. To this day, he has yet to step foot where Braxton did in that regard. Then again, Braxton’s pillow and water bowl. And there’s always Braxton’s war. It never ends, Lunalesca.

“You and me against the world.” That’s what I told Braxton all the time. But the world didn’t kill my boy, did it. To this day, I’ve never blamed the veterinarian for what she did. When I grew older but never wiser, I wanted to be a veterinarian. I wanted to save as many fur babies as I could. Only I read about the other side of the coin. To have to take the life of one that you protect because you can’t stop death. You can hate me now. Lunalesca, I’ve told you before it’s nearly impossible to walk down that aisle at PetSmart. Braxton died in Banfield Pet Hospital at the back. My existence and selfishness. War never changes. Vetting B and V

1014 Days Without B III, Day 455 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 132 ~That’ll B Crime Virgil~

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Reading’s no crime. One shouldn’t ban or burn books. But the things I’ve read this week. Poor Olivia’s passing. Her Dad and Hammy are heartbroken. PORN, and no, I don’t mean a Playboy. And when I can’t read, I think, “That’ll B Crime Virgil.”

Friday, November 10, 2023

Tale 132 ~That’ll B Crime Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… At what, 3:00 PM, in the afternoon? Because I was far too lazy to get up.

Can’t get it up. Something was up this morning, my lady. But there is always time for me to be disturbing, disgusting, and depraved. What about dead? No such luck. But Braxton remains in a box. And it looks like he’ll have some company…Relax, V is “Safe and Sound.” But Olivia, as in Hammy and Olivia, has passed. I’m one for pop culture, so I heard. It’s “Times Like These,” I get the whole bashing, banning, and burning books routine bull. But I’m not afraid of knowledge. It’s the fact that I don’t want to be sad. And how many books did I read about pet loss in a couple of years? What about the idea of reincarnation or cloning? The Last Conversation, Paul Tremblay…

I read it for the Kindle Challenge, Lady Sophia. Do you know that saying about if a tree falls in the forest? Sophia, I know this isn’t the meaning of it, but thinking about this. Doctor Anne Kuhn, “cloned,” “injected memories,” whatever you want to call it, into another life. But since everyone else is either dead or gone… Wondering, “Is It A Crime?” Sigh, certain things come up while I’m at the Day Job. Is it right to buy a NaNoWriMo shirt when you lose? I haven’t written one word for any story this month. That’s the truth. How about this? How long will I mourn Braxton’s death? Forever and Always, “I’ll Be Ready.” Again, I think of Schwarzwald: “Don’t be afraid of knowledge.”

Especially when so many villains and monsters come off as “Thinkers.” Speaking of which, I wouldn’t mind rereading the Theta Timeline book series. But what am I reading this week? PORN: A Novel of Extreme Horror, Sex and Gore by Matt Shaw, my lady. I do enjoy torturing myself. I have to take everything I’ve ever enjoyed and then… As the song goes, “Why do the things I hate come so naturally?” Because criminality?” Sophia, that’s a whole new topic about the skin I’m in… Today, The Banality of Evil. Yesterday, I saw somebody get kicked off of X/Twitter for something. And I realized today that I had done something similar without… you guessed it, knowledge. Read all about it. Or That’ll B Crime Virgil.

1013 Days Without B III, Day 454 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 131 ~B LEAD Virgil Sometimes~

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I see B from time to time on wobbly legs, walking towards his water bowl. He couldn’t stand being so weak to take a drink right next to his bed. Virgil is very much alive, and he waits for me to lead him towards… life. “B LEAD Virgil Sometimes.”

Thursday, November 9, 2023

Tale 131 ~B LEAD Virgil Sometimes~

1012 Days Without B III, Day 453 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I’m time-traveling here as it’s Wednesday today. But Braxton, “Every Day Is Exactly The Same.”

Virgil and I both agree on that. But monster, man, where’s my Ma because Daddy… Even now, Braxton, as Michael Jackson sang it, “But the kid is not my son.” I swear, B III, I’m not the man to follow. Only you know that, seeing as how you went straight to Heaven… Or so I assume. The Rainbow Bridge, Elysium? How about where the enemy goes in Final Fantasy VIII when you use Selphie Tilmitt’s The End Ability? Ok, whatever. For the record, Sorceress Ultimecia was my hardest kill next to you, my best friend. Braxton, what is wrong with me today? As THEY say, if it bleeds, it leads, so I begin with your passing most days. It’s what leads me, always and forever.

To what, though? This week has been all about me leading. The Day Job, doggie, and me being late because I’m too busy dicking around. Hell! I know where I want to go, B III. Did you send Virgil here so I wouldn’t follow you? Pretty sneaky, bro… Braxton Barks! I’d yell at you for that, but I’m not that kind of boss, father, or anything else. Monster? Most monsters aren’t the ones being followed. I don’t want anyone following me because, again, I know where I’m going and where I want to go, and these aren’t good places B. Every day, I take a step closer to Hell if I’m not already there. And as always, I want to know where you are, Braxton.

Are you waiting for me? Not if I blame you for Virgil being here. He waits for me to lead him everywhere. Or more like to follow, but Virgil needs my permission even to exist. Never! And we are way past spooky season. Before that, E-Day put me a step closer to the grave. I want to say closer to you, but that’s something I didn’t ask, Braxton. Sigh. Where are you going? Why are you going? I take it Heaven wasn’t a car ride. Hell! Does that explain why you wanted to come home with me? When the car seems a better choice. And what is all this leading me to? I can’t get out of the way of existence. B LEAD Virgil Sometimes

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 126 ~A Do B Virgil~

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“We gonna get you high.” Was Cypress Hill in my dream or an angel reminding me of how I felt when Braxton was here? Was it the new toys in the mail? The thought of some young lady. For once, I wasn’t just getting up. So, not a work day? A Do B Virgil

Saturday, November 4, 2023

Tale 126 ~A Do B Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… Hell! If I Had A Million Dollars… But no, Lady Lunalesca, I’m just… I don’t know.

I’m up at 4:00 AM, well, 5:45 AM now. Could it be the endorphins, serotonin? Dopamine before the start of a horrible week? As Marvin Gaye sang “Sexual Healing.” The things you learn while looking up a nurse… Eri Harada. Just don’t look, Lunalesca. That’s what I tell myself when the alarm clock’s blaring when I’m bored or missing Braxton. I’m beginning to understand those people in the movie “Don’t Look Up.” Though it’s a lesson that bears repeating. AHEM, Ignorance Is Bliss. And again, I know next week, Lu. There will be Humiliations Galore, there will be, uh… hurt. I’m a horn dog, Lunalesca. But at this particular moment, as Balance says, I’m safe. But I’m also up, and why is that Lady Lunalesca?

If I had a dollar for every bad thing… I could avoid the worst thing. I can’t believe I was about to say the Day Job. No, the worst thing is losing Braxton. I wouldn’t have been at the Day Job if I had enough money. I wouldn’t have been Down With The Sickness.” And I would have noticed Braxton sooner. He’d survive. “Such mad hope, but there it is…” There is so much wrong with that statement. It’s stolen, and dog parents think it. Lunalesca, I’m determined to bring myself down. “I ain’t happy, I’m feeling glad.” And even that is not meant to last. Yet why I feel this way is also a question, so what now, Lu? Do I want more of it or less, My Lady?

The last time I was drunk, Braxton was still alive. And I confessed about having no “relations” in this house. That wasn’t Braxton’s fault; he loved Yabbos. And getting high? “What’s My Age Again?” Nobody likes you when you’re 23… or 39. There’s always V? Only he woke up in Braxton’s Room because I’m not the person anyone should be around. Is that it? I didn’t go out yesterday, but I did Thursday. Still, I spent the majority of this week alone. And even then, I’ve had bad days. Less sugar, Lady Lunalesca? I’m not spending much on food. But what about new toys? Does it matter, Lunalesca? Being high? One always comes down. But Heaven? A Do B Virgil

1,007 Days Without B III, Day 448 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 125 ~Read… Ready… B, V~

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Am I ready to live or exist? Am I ready to read about life? Last week, I read of a guy and a corpse. Now, there’s a guy, a corpse, and a witch coven. People celebrate Christmas… now. I celebrate Halloween? Effing dead. Never Ready. Read… Ready… B, V.

Friday, November 3, 2023

Tale 125 ~Read… Ready… B, V~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… But I would rather write you a few. Hell! I should have written several. Next Week?

It’s like listening to Succubus Lord for… I don’t know how many times by now. But according to Audible, it’s been a lot. And you know what I want to say about them. Only I go back and forth on this whole censorship thing. I wish I could say certain things and call it free speech. It’s why I keep my mouth shut, ears filled and lost fifteen bucks. Meh. Yet opening my eyes and reading. It didn’t occur to me to read all those pet loss books while Braxton was dying. He was going to live. Sophia, that’s where faith lays, with B III. But at the same time, I read as I didn’t want to worry about it with B crossing the bridge.

Now, why do I bring this up today? Well, besides the fact that I talk about B III every day. If I had to express all my fears, we would be here, My Lady. Uh, “EVERYTHING” isn’t that hard to say? Writing it? Anyway, I’m afraid I won’t write Braxton’s name one day. Hmm? Before I decide to start scanning years sniffle worth of blogs. Again, what’s with today? It’s how I stayed ahead to watch my boy cross over. And yet, I’m not ready to step out of this bed. One step towards life or even a better existence at this point. And as I say that, My Lady. There was a zombie package at the door. A package for my package. Uh gross.

I really didn’t make a joke about “my” new toys, did I? My Lady, that’s the only thing I’m ever ready for. I’m always ready to get some. So, when was the last time that happened? This is more of a confession for Inspector Echo, but I’m always ready to read the truth. The last time I ever “got some” would be around seven years ago. Never in this house!!! And I can’t even blame that on Braxton. When it came to Carolina Bound, the woman I would make his honorary aunt since she’s like a sister to me. My son did try to play wingman. Did I ever read to him about moms? Not even how girls became mothers. Nope. Read… Ready… B, V

1006 Days Without B III, Day 447 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 124 ~B Pushing Virgil’s Buttons~

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People want a reset button. I don’t. I’ll wait for someone to push the wrong one, as I’m too lazy to play the game. And This Is America where even doors are an issue, Mr. Cruz. I try not to push people’s buttons, but B, V. B Pushing Virgil’s Buttons.

Thursday, November 2, 2023

Tale 124 ~B Pushing Virgil’s Buttons~

1005 Days Without B III, Day 446 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? It’s only been seven hours, and I’m already counting today as a loss. Nothing new.

Speaking of which, “my” bank account. Not that we talked about that much, Little B. Every day, you had a roof over your head, a collar around your neck, food in your bowl, and… Ain’t that what you’re supposed to do? I’m your child. You had me. I didn’t ask to be here. Whatever happened to that video, Braxton? Were you even here during that? The things I need to give up. But no worries, B III, it will never be Virgil Vivi. He’s here. Still collarless… May I remind you how you’d sometimes get your nail stuck in yours? And with all the button pushing, getting your collar off was just the worst. Did I finally find something I would not like to repeat?

Hell! To me, that’s called breathing. This is one more reason this week’s been horrible. All the time in the world, Braxton. And what have I done with it? I just push a button, son. And as the song goes, “What A Heavenly Way To Die.” Or at least I can pretend a lot B. “When we pretend that we’re dead.” That is not a game Virgil likes to play. Then again, I’m at the dining room table while his pillow is in the wash. Vomiting. Not this again, B. Especially with how next week will be. Fear, Pain? I’ll never forget the one when you left me here all alone. Didn’t I say Virgil’s here… How do I forgive myself? Just push a button.

But not one of these buttons has the word LIVE on the front. And even if one did B III… There’s always the one that sends me right back to sleep. We’re approaching 9:00 AM. Before I try lying away, you know what begins in November. NaNoWriMo? Um, No F… And I already screwed that up. I should wear pants with buttons more often. Only, it’s never a good thing anytime I leave the house, except for running with your Aunt Carolina. I hope you’re checking in on her and the doctors. There are so many buttons to push I could never be one. Only I’m not much of a writer either. Because existing Braxton, without your button nose, really sucks. B Pushing Virgil’s Buttons

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 119 ~Braxton For 1,000, Virgil~

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So, 1,000 Days since Braxton’s been gone? Why does it hurt more to think of these 1,000 Days? And the 15 years that I spent with him? Than the 39 years of “my” existence, I’ve wasted? Over 1,000 words, never can say goodbye. Braxton For 1,000, Virgil

Saturday, October 28, 2023

Tale 119 ~Braxton For 1,000, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… Sigh. If I were, I wouldn’t say I’ve wasted 39 years of existence. But it’s been…

“Though a thousand words
Have never been spoken.”
1000 Words

1,000 Days. Lady Lu, I have let 1,000 Days negate the 15 years I spent with my son, B III. And I know it’s not right, fair, or just. But when have I ever been right? Or even been a fan of Math? It doesn’t sound like a lot. Hell! To me, it’s one messed up excuse to sit here. 1,000 Days AND more. That is what terrifies me. And it should scare Virgil to death as well. Seeing as how he’s been here for 441 Days of them. But how many more, Lady Lu? I was supposed to be up at 8:00 AM to take him outside. So why haven’t I? I’ll tell you. Because I know he’s hungry, and where’s his dinner, Lunalesca?

1,000 Days, time loses all meaning. So breakfast, lunch, um, ok, a snack Lady Lunalesca? At least I can say it’s not anger or lust that holds me back. It’s only shame and sloth now. And in Virgil’s 441 Days here, I’m sure he has cried over 1,000 times. It only took me ignoring Braxton’s cries once for him to end up “resting in a box. Lunalesca, the lesson. 1,000 Days later, I haven’t learned a damn thing. I would say 1,000 Yabbos later. But we both know I’ve seen more than 1,000. And that’s only with October. With me almost being 40… again, it’s October, but my latest E-Day continues to haunt me. Tis the season, isn’t it, Lu? But Braxton Barks Bradford’s ghost…

1,000 Days. I don’t know what I’m trying to do anymore. Do I want to forget him? No, not ever. So why have I procrastinated by reading over 1,000 words from all these emails? Lunalesca, I’ve been lamenting that I’m not participating in NaNoWriMo this year. But if I write 400 words a year, that’s 146,000 words. Lady Lunalesca, I’m doing nearly three NaNoWriMo challenges a year. And what have any of those words ever gotten, Luna? 1,000 Days saying goodbye to my son? Only I’ve never found Acceptance, Lady Luna. The other day, I petted V’s head and said, “You’re a good boy, B.” So, 1,000 days, ha. Days, words, dollars. One thousand more won’t bring Braxton back to me… Braxton For 1,000, Virgil

1,000 Days Without B III, Day 441 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 118 ~Just Breathe, B, Virgil~

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So I finished a book about a guy and a corpse. Then, last night, I hoped I wouldn’t see one as Virgil breathed weirdly. Should have read up on how to help him. If I had time. 15 years with B, what do I know of dog first aid. “Just Breathe, B, Virgil”

Friday, October 27, 2023

Tale 118 ~Just Breathe, B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… Better yet, I need to read how to perform basic first aid on dogs. Virgil Vivi?

Lady Sophia, if you’re asking why I’m so late this morning. Hell! I lounged around in bed for an hour. And then I can’t say I was reading anything. How do THEY say… A picture is worth a thousand words. So, how many pairs of Yabbos is that? The answer might surprise you. But we’re not here because of Math. Next to History, Reading rules. Inevitable. And according to Kindle, I’ve read for 562 days. And not one of those books would have saved V last night. Don’t worry. He’s very much alive. Breathing? Happy? He’s becoming more and more like me. Except I think he would prefer breathing, Sophia. But what do I know? Braxton wanted to make me happy. What makes me happy?

Didn’t The Beatles write a song about it? Only I’m not one for that kind of violence. Have you seen the news the past few days? Something else I want to avoid seeing, hearing about, or reading. Then again, I could tell you that Virgil Vivi was gone. After the trouble, he had last night. I petted him and begged him to take a breath. Again, looking up medical emergencies. Sophia, I didn’t. While Braxton lay dying, I finished Succubus Lord 7, next came 8. Vladimir Nabokov’s The Enchanter came after. So, um, three books before I got to sigh… A Dog’s Purpose by W. Bruce Cameron. But what is my purpose, to keep breathing? More than likely, it’s to waste air, Sophia, I swear.

It’s a good enough reason not to buy physical copies of books. It’s an insult, Lady Sophia, to trees, blasphemy to the air, and humanity… What about it? Look at the last seven books that I’ve read. Sunday has always been a bad day. Well, since B died. But talking to the Man in the Mirror. Hell! I guess he’s sick of telling me about my failures every week. Anyway, I was talking about novels. The last seven were about dirty priests, vampires, elves, video game vixens, and a girl’s corpse. “Can’t Get It Up If The Girl’s Breathing.” Eww! Thank you, Repo! The Genetic Opera. Unfortunately, genetics, “my” biological imperative, demands I keep breathing. How these stories end. Virgil’s story? Just Breathe, B, Virgil

999 Days Without B III, Day 440 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will