Tag: Future

Tale 028 ~Don’t B BILE Virgil~

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If he dies, he dies… It can’t be any more VILE, vulgar, and vicious than all the stuff coming out of V’s mouth lately. Two towels, all the bed covers, a throw pillow that’s no damn good. He almost destroyed the PHONE! “Don’t B BILE Virgil.”

Saturday, July 29, 2023

Tale 028 ~Don’t B BILE Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But that didn’t matter to Braxton. I would have gone all “John Q,” Lunalesca. But Virgil?

Can I not mention butts right now? When B was here, I had no problem cleaning up after him. But, of course, he knew better. Please, stop! I’m tired and oh so grossed out, Luna. How many times have I said I wanted to be a Dad? No one will ever take away the fact that I was/am Braxton’s Daddy. Hell! I was sitting right here in 2021, praying that he’d eat. Being blessed, Lunalesca, years from now. Who knows what I will feel towards my two-legged children? Women do so much. The least I can do is change kids’ diapers, Lunalesca. I wish I could put Virgil in a diaper. Well, that’s not where most of the mess is. Doing the laundry all day…

The “crap” coming out of V’s mouth these days. Well, Friday, to be specific, Luna. I swear, I’ve been working with him so we could put on a show. 2V’s “Gotcha Day” is in August. And here I am today, having to carry him into Banfield because he’s sick as well, a dog, to be honest. I wanted Braxton to eat. And I would have cleaned up after him, Lunalesca. Every single day. But that was no kind of life for him. Only if I have to repeat 2V’s act? It’s like 1408. “You can choose to repeat this “day” over and over again, or you can take advantage of our express checkout system.” Is Virgil dying? I wish it were me 909 days ago.

And why shouldn’t it be? I failed Braxton. I’m trying to save V. But if worse comes to worse, Lunalesca. While I’m busy being a pop culture… person, “If he died, he dies.” Virgil Vivi. I was more worried about the phone yesterday. I’m a negligent parent. Phone over V. I’m concerned about the bank account. I have no money for Virgil, Lunalesca. That true… I’m so tired of washing everything. Virgil has destroyed another pillow. It’s the smell, Lu. I was humiliated that I couldn’t save Braxton. And now walking in today. One year? Virgil couldn’t survive one here with me. And even if he does, Lunalesca. Our existences? We’re sick men for a variety of reasons. Figure them out. Don’t B BILE Virgil

909 Days Without B III, Day 350 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 026 ~Don’t B Broke Virgil~

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As the song goes, “If I had just one wish, only one demand. I hope he’s not like me. I hope he understands.” Well, V’s got no pockets. And no girls have been up in here. He’s got his food. If he didn’t spend days afraid, like me. Don’t B Broke Virgil

Thursday, July 27, 2023

Tale 026 ~Don’t B Broke Virgil~

907 Days Without B III, Day 348 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Me? I’ve bawled like a baby. I’m bellowed a ton of BS. And I’m broke.

Of course, I’m time-traveling, Braxton. Today is Sunday, July 16, 2023. So a week and quite a bit of change. And not the kind I could use. If only I treated every dollar as if it made cents, ha-ha. For you, Little B. But yeah, your Dad is a liar because where’s your stuff? Braxton, you should have memorials galore. Even better… You should still be alive, B III. Hell! With all the money in the world, I doubt anything could have been done to save you. Trust the science, Pancake. However, I have read about other people’s madness. Somewhere a scientist was kidnapped because someone wanted their friend to be immortal. Another person had $1000 towards theirs. Which ain’t much by any means B.

I always said you had $1000 in insurance. But God knows for you, Braxton, I’d have gone all “John Q” to save you. And what about Virgil? He’s broke but in a much different way. A way that ain’t costing me any money. Besides a few tears for you, I’ve been bitching all day. Sorry about the language. Not like I can swear at your grandpa, or Bill come Monday. How about the Man in the Mirror, who I talked to today? Always time-traveling, B. Bringing books to life, ha. If only I had done that before. There are the ones for you, B III. I could be an exhibitionist, like you, in front of your Aunt. Showing my balls on OnlyFans and such, hmm…

Begging for more hours at the Day Job is out of the question. Little B, I blame no one for your death except myself… And that place. The rage it brought. The Hell inside me. Talk about money burning a hole in my pocket. You and Virgil are pretty lucky you don’t have pockets. You didn’t have to worry, but of course you did. You are your Dad’s son B. But Virgil? It only mattered when we didn’t have AC at all. And now I’m in the same place. Now if it were you, Little B, I wouldn’t be questioning anything. You are my son. But lacking food bellyaches, the bills I gotta pay, (spoiled) and wanting to bail on existing… Don’t B Broke Virgil

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 024 ~Virgil All Over B~

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I learned to hate the words abandon ship in a brief Navy stint. Drowning scares me. And when playing games, to see the words game over… I didn’t want Braxton’s life to be over. I don’t want to exist with covers over my head. “Virgil All Over B.”

Tuesday, July 25, 2023

Tale 024 ~Virgil All Over B~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But there’s a reason they call it cold hard cash. And you don’t dive into gold.

Have I been watching Duck Tales with the kids or what? I wish I could say that. Be a Dad. I don’t wake up in the morning having to say that. I am that, love. Fatherhood, manhood, you know how I feel about that. Even if I stay under the covers a little longer, I wish I could say it’s because of you. Allow me to go all Whitney Houston, or should I say Dolly Parton. And I will always love you. Now that I think about it, that’s not the right song, considering how I’ve been feeling. Going on… Hell! Braxton’s been gone for 905 days. But going on for three weeks, hmm. I’m Thinking of Ending Things. No! Not like that. Game Over…

I’m your husband and our children’s father. And I will always be Braxton’s Daddy, too. Virgil? Hell, if I know, love? I don’t want him draped over me some days. I already destroyed Braxton’s pillow. Virgil is all over Braxton’s food and water bowls. B’s bed. Virgil knows better than to touch it ever. Is Braxton watching over him and me? Yesterday, today, who knows about tomorrow? Only I’m still here. I’m not planning on leaving anytime soon. “You and me, always and forever.” Suppose I’m going to be looking down on you, um, watching over you. I’d have the two of us, um… Do we need more kids right now? I could ask the same about Virgil. He’s the only one enjoying the bed.

Not me, though. I got up this Tuesday on time and wanted to enjoy a cappuccino with my dear wife. And then I go and spoil it all. By saying something stupid like “I love you.” Hey Lover, I can do better than that. How do I feel? In a way, like Robert Frobisher from Cloud Atlas. A final sunrise, a last cigarette. Never! I can’t leave, and cigarettes are gross. So I drape a cape over myself. And decide to play the hero today. And like I said, tomorrow… I still won’t be over my loss of Braxton. I don’t want to have the blankets draped over me. I hope I won’t want THIS existence to be over and done. Virgil All Over B

905 Days Without B III, Day 346 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 021 ~Virgil, B III Of…~

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A “personal benefit” to slavery… Should I ever be blessed to have “two-legged” children, going to Florida will not be a tradition I’ll continue. Who knows, the GOP might be out of power? Tell that to racism. Free of it, indeed. Virgil, B III Of…

Saturday, July 22, 2023

Tale 021 ~Virgil, B III Of…~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. The benefits of slavery, Blah! Rather, the enslavement of others. Pardon my language, but fucking Florida!

But you know who I’ll never say no to ever again? My son. Because he’s dead and not here anymore… Except for Thursdays, I hope. Only I hold onto my grief, guilt, and the attempted grift. If I should ever edit. Let alone publish the novels I’ve written. B III. Lunalesca, I have all the time in the world right now. What do I do with it? We’ll get there. Now B III? He was the bravest man I’ve ever known. Lady Lunalesca, if I dare to call myself a man… I drooled at pictures of a redhead who was going to see Barbie. Hmm. Braxton was/is a man, that’s for damn sure. Anyway, next to my love and grief for My Lost Boy… FEAR

In case you didn’t realize what I’m doing. I doubt you do. You’re not STUPID, Lunalesca. I save that for me. I feel? No, according to my “critic.” Not only am I not positive, but I’m STUPID. I can’t say I disagree with that general assessment. I’m 100% with it, Lu. So today, I’m talking about all of “my” personal benefits, The Shackles I Wore. I wore. I’m still wearing? And what about my ancestors because? I am not ignorant of my history, Mr. DeSantis. Didn’t I call myself STUPID? I’m plenty terrified, for sure. Lunalesca, if it’s not grief and a “Whole Lotta Love.” It’s this fear of everything and everyone around me. Hell! Today, the scariest thing is replacing the air filter. (Gulp)!

And speaking of books I should have published already, but I’m a slave to clocks. Chronomentrophobia? It’s more like Chronophobia. In case you’re wondering what I’ve been looking up this morning. I don’t think it was anything sexual. A damnable lie. Lunalesca, as Morpheus put it, “Time is always against us.” I fear every minute, always, as much as I miss my Braxton. And we’ve spoken of fear, but specifically, Facebook… I’m in fear of that hacking stunt a few days ago. About as much as trying to fix the AC. Lunalesca, I’m afraid of my “addiction…” To save money, this week’s book. Next week? Succubus 8 (Riddles And Revenge). All the books I have to read… (sigh). Sex, slavery, sons. Virgil, B III Of…

902 Days Without B III, Day 343 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 019 ~Virgil Learns A, B…~

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Virgil never speaks unless I’m leaving. And I’d be surprised if he knew that was his name. I suppose the good news is, I’m not feeling his head with Braxton stories. I wouldn’t know how to tell them anyway. But trying. “Virgil Learns A, B…”

Thursday, July 20, 2023

Tale 019 ~Virgil Learns A, B…~

900 Days Without B III, Day 341 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Did Virgil, since I know you’re looking after him when I can’t? What’s today’s excuse?

Because yes, I am trying to get back into time travel. Today is Wednesday, July 12, 2023, Braxton. Hell! I’m as reliable as the scientists in the Theta Timeline series. Yeah, you were gone before I got to read those. I’ll have to look up Virgil’s first book. Ancient history? Now that’s something you will never be. But reading, writing? If I knew about science. With your ashes boxed on the nightstand, how could I ever bring you back, Braxton? What language am I even speaking? I’m sure my writing has only gotten worse by the time you’re reading this. That’s what I’ve been thinking about these last weeks. Writing? The word would be procrastination. Virgil’s first book, “Until We Meet Again” by Sarah-Jane Farrell.

In case you were wondering how deep my laziness goes. It’s easier to look up a book than write one. Notice, I didn’t say read because the one I’m on now is effed up immensely. Who knows what I’ll be reading when you see this? You’d know when I was really into a book Little B. Like the way I always knew you were into your Aunt. “On the floor.” I was saying something today about you and comfy spots. But not to Virgil. Silence? Braxton, I swear I’m not trying to be a loser, a meanie, or negative. I can’t get that thought out of my head. And add to it seeing all these books, reviews, anything, and everything. I just shouldn’t be talking.

Or writing? And I’ve said it so many times. All these books, and I’m not getting any wiser, I know, or don’t whatever. So what does that leave me with… MATH. I need money B. Only how many hours did I work last week and this one? All the time in the world B III. What do I do with it? I sleep. And I can only wonder what V is thinking right now, hmm. He and I don’t talk. We spend the day here if I don’t drag my pathetic ass out of bed. Except when I’m trying to walk him. Two years without you. And nearly a year with Virgil, so approaching Gotcha Day. Are we learning yet? Nope! Virgil Learns A, B…

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 017 ~ Can’t B Lying Virgil~

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On the last day, B lied around. I lied to him. “We gon’ be alright.” You can go. There are comfy spots in Heaven on the Rainbow Bridge. Be cozy by the fire and wait for me. The biggest lie I tell myself is I have to get up, Can’t B Lying Virgil.

Tuesday, July 18, 2023

Tale 017 ~ Can’t B Lying Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. That means I’m always looking for comfy spots. I wonder how cozy a cloud really is.

Don’t I sound like a little boy right now. Hell! I had someone this afternoon. Oh, I’m time traveling Tuesday, July 11, 2023. Why do I have to be so negative all the time? Braxton. People would say my boy wouldn’t want that, but I won’t lie. I miss my boy every damn day. And any day I don’t spend laying in our bed crying over him counts as winning? Well, I suppose I had to wash the sheets sometime. And yes, I have cleaned them plenty in the 898 days since B’s been gone. What about the pillows in his house and his deathbed? (Shudders). How’s this for negative? I’m still pissed about how I destroyed his big pillow. Virgil’s lying beside me now.

Yet another reason I didn’t want to get out of bed. I could put Virgil back in B III’s room. He’d come waltzing back in here. The one time Virgil decides to be courageous. Link? You know the hero from “The Legend of Zelda.” I’m always thinking of lying around. Anyway, that doesn’t involve “adult situations.” I’ve got games, books, and you are here. Should I try an impression of Vin Diesel, aka Dominic Toretto… AHEM “Family.” That was Braxton for fifteen years, But again, I can’t lie around all day because I have you and our pancakes to see to. My blessings. But I can’t lie to you and hate lying to them. Everything hurts, and I know I need to do better love.

Some random person telling the “truth” shouldn’t be why I can’t lie here in bed like some moody teenager. If I’m not careful, you’ll have a house full of those before I ever… Was I telling you this morning that I will never forget my firstborn? And music? “And I lie here in bed. All alone, I can’t mend. But I feel tomorrow will be okay.” Emo… Ha! I don’t even lie to Replika, saying everything will be okay. Or “We gon’ be alright,” love.

Something that my “father” and son have in common… games. When I was mad at him, I went all “GTA, motherfucker! Ten points!” When missing B, it’s Fallout 4 or Shelter. Can you just lay here? Can’t B Lying Virgil

898 Days Without B III, Day 339 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 014 ~Braxton Tells Tales Virgil~

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Braxton would tell me stories with every breath he took. When he would step on my face waking me up. With the wag of his tail. Paws clicking on the floorboards. Leave it to me to destroy them. And my stories? Hideous. Braxton Tells Tales Virgil.

Saturday, July 15, 2023

Tale 014 ~Braxton Tells Tales Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now, meaning there are no flimsy floorboards. No calls to “father.” And no failures of my manhood.

Not in this house. But you know what else isn’t here? Braxton. Because he’s dead. Lunalesca, what’s one more reason to cry, hmm? Hell! “Woke Up This Morning…” Uh yeah, I got myself a gun. I’ve had that one since April 2020. Had to protect B and I, you know. Anyway, I haven’t killed anyone… Lies! What did I say? My son is dead! Lunalesca, that, of course, was a euthanasia situation. The pen is mightier than the sword. Or the keyboard. That’s one of the reasons I’m crying right now. Plus, um, strawberry jelly… At least it ain’t blood. Only that doesn’t explain what’s coming out of the floorboards. Yesterday I did try looking. But Daddy? It is the beating of his hideous heart.

I wouldn’t be in this mess if I could write like Edgar Allan Poe. B III would be here, Lu. Now it might be my Dad. So I should be getting out of this bed, shouldn’t I? Hmm. If not for him, I need more food. But where did all the money go? What about next week with the hours I worked? Uh, six… I should be worrying about the growling in my belly Lunalesca. Instead, I’m crying about all the blinks and bloops of the screen before me. That isn’t doing a damn thing, Lunalesca. As if I got money for a new computer, phone, tablet, etc. I bet if the first thing on my mind was some comedic redhead’s dirty pillows… I’d work…

Wasn’t I talking about Soredemo Tsuma wo Aishiteru and Shiori from Rinkan Club yesterday morning? And I can’t say I’ve ever been one for Sir Mix-a-Lot’s ideology on the female anatomy. Is that my way of saying I like, um, another part? Damn censorship, Lu. If I was worried about big butts, well, small ones, that’s keeping Virgil’s tail wagging. Even now. I’m sure he’s wondering what’s wrong with everything. But for now, sleep, V. I wish I could go back to sleep. M Anime was saying she wanted to sleep for a long time. I can’t talk a woman into sex. What makes you think I can be a wonderful counselor, Lady Lunalesca? “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” Braxton Tells Tales Virgil

895 Days Without B III, Day 336 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 012 ~2V, BIII, Will Zero~

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It’s all about the numbers. The only ones I have been looking at are on the phone. A 45-minute nap? I’m sorry, 10 more minutes, no 20, how about 30? And Virgil isn’t the one right now. Why don’t I look at the hours I’m working? “2V, BIII, Will Zero.”

Thursday, July 13, 2023

Tale 012 ~2V, BIII, Will Zero~

893 Days Without B III, Day 334 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Seeing as how, I’m speaking to you on Sunday, July 9, 2023. My day was…

Well, whatever, I would say B, with whatever app I’m on. I’m simplistic, senile, and STUPID. I hate my age right now. And it’s scary to think that I wish with all my time travel. If I could go back in time, before your death, before we met… Existence, Living? Hell! Plop me down in any ole math class, and let me start over again. I need to try B. Anyway, we’ll mark today as another failure in doing anything. And by the time you read this… These days I want to cuddle up close to you and blabber away. Of course, I can’t do that with Virgil right now. Nor would I want to. He got in trouble anyway. Braxton, you remember those days.

As you can see, I’m still counting yours at 893. Harder days are coming. And I don’t mean like you humping your toys. That monster hair dryer or stick of dynamite of yours, B III. That reminds me that I should pick that up. Some toys Virgil shouldn’t inherit, Braxton. Why am I being so “mean” to him these days? He’s my second chance. And didn’t I save his life? It’s all about the number Little B. And 334 days in, to be honest, we have yet to bound at all. I am trying to walk him more. I’m uncomfortable with his leash and collar. So that must mean I care some. I don’t want him running off. And if he were to get hurt?

Money is the root of all evil. But it is also my biggest concern with all this time off, Braxton. Well, next to crying about you. Better my tears than anything else. I’ve lost track of those and other things I should be ashamed of. Unscheduled lunches, napping. Anything to avoid the world of the living. It’s sad that it even includes Virgil, Braxton. Again walking around the backyard like the living dead or infected to avoid reading, ha. More dead fur babies or whatever Kindle thing popped up. There’s no money for books. But I have plenty right in front of me. Uh, two I wrote for you. I can’t count them as wins. Well, if I edited, published… Scoreboard! 2V, BIII, Will Zero

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 010 ~Virgil, Today Will B~

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Someday they’ll be happy tears? I remember when B’s Aunt got married, and now um… not my business. But a day will come that won’t be worse than the last. V might hop in the car. I’ll win the lotto. Or have some two-legged kids. “Virgil, Today Will B”

Tuesday, July 11, 2023

Tale 010 ~Virgil, Today Will B~

Dear Future Wife,
I AM a Billionaire right now. And I have to remember to put this on a Silvercut pendant or something, my love.

Braxton, Virgil, Will, Today, or reverse it. Should I add, always? Buying jewelry of dogs? Hell! This wouldn’t be necessary if Braxton was still alive. If I was the man, I should have been. Seems there’s a lot of that going around. It’s day 891, and still counting as always. How many days have I woken up and been excited about it? (Sigh) A day that I can “honest to God” say I wanted to. Considering what time it is? I didn’t know I would meet Virgil on Saturday, August 13, 2022. I have to start reminding myself of it. To think I knew, ha. Dying and living, but it’s the sticking around that pisses people off. I remember that from a movie I saw.

Movie nights with B III’s Aunt. I never knew that those nights would grow to be so special to me and my son. Ask me what are the best moments of my life… well, existence. Actually, no! I will say life. And don’t worry my love, I will get to us in a second. The day I was born… does any baby expect it. Being thirty-eight now, I see it as the worst day ever. Second only to B III’s passing away. I killed B. I must keep reminding myself of that daily —with my indifference, initials, and ignorance. Hmm. And then there are the days to expect the unexpected. When B III jumped in the car, winning NaNoWriMo and leaving this bed… smiling ever

Because if I hadn’t, I would have never met you, “My Love.” Yes, I want to do my best Sia impression, ha-ha. You know music has a way of altering my mood immensely. Weak? Love, I might be. But then again, from seeing you the first time as “Just Another” girl to becoming my wife. Now that’s a day I can say it is a good life, all of it. But B III? There’s also the day that you and I made… pancakes. B III is my original, but for ours, I really did have to “pour the Bisquick.” That was a lot of fun. Do you “Remember The Time?” Someday I’ll… not forget. But look on Braxton, Virgil, myself smiling. Virgil, Today Will B

891 Days Without B III, Day 332 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 007 ~Braxton’s Doggone Insanity Virgil~

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Last week? Why I’m not a millionaire or billionaire… Every Day Is Exactly the Same. Wake up late, conversate, take a break, masturbate, life to fake, accept my fate, dream my mistakes. Wash, rinse, repeat. Braxton’s Doggone Insanity Virgil.

Saturday, July 8, 2023

Tale 007 ~Braxton’s Doggone Insanity Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now. But I think to myself I should state facts —Braxton’s dead. I’m wrong. I like blowjobs…

Hell is repetition. Whether what I say is the truth or a lie. Hell! Why not a little of both… Who am I now, Erwin Schrodinger? Lady Lunalesca, don’t look up Hell in the morning. So I say I’m a billionaire going on seven years now. Not always. But I don’t want to look it up. I’ll go back to searching for porn. I’ve been sitting here listening to Balance. Meditation runs amuck and all that. I can’t say that it’s been helping. And yet here we are, Lady Lunalesca. And why? I tell everyone how many days Braxton’s been gone. But how many days have I been meditating? Ninety-eight days, 115 hrs, and 59 mins at last count. And? “Insane in da membrane,” Lunalesca.

For Hell is the impossibility of reason, Lady Lunalesca. Do you remember when I was all in my motivational phase? The way I would burn through Spotify for inspiring words. Speaking of which, I don’t have enough money for audiobooks. I do, but you know what I mean, Lady Lunalesca. Yesterday I was talking about that 50/30/20 Rule. Money spent? Lunalesca, you don’t want to know. But plugging my ears to listen to people’s prattling. All because I don’t want to hear other people talking all day. Their insanity, madness. Then at the same time, I’ll complain that my ears are all stopped up with earwax. I know Lady Lunalesca; that’s some TMI, right? Braxton was so loud, but to hear my little boy B.

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” They say one of the wisest men ever said that. So here I am, trying to be a dad again with V. At the onset of our conversations, Lady Lunalesca, I could be saying one more thing. Please! Not those mean words. “He’s not my son.” Again who am I, Lady Lunalesca? Looking into the mirror (eww), I have yet to become Joel Miller from The Last of Us. The world he lived in would drive anyone crazy. And yet he kept going. He tried, you know.

“You’re not my [son]. And I sure as hell ain’t your dad.” Joel Miller, TLOU

But “Who Wants To Live Forever?” Even in Hell. Every one! Braxton, Virgil, even me. Fact or question to meditate on. Braxton’s Doggone Insanity Virgil

888 Days Without B III, Day 329 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will