Tag: Reading

Meditation 304 ~Virgil Tunes In B~

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I don’t want to talk to myself. I know a gifted writer… as long as I ignore her big… thoughts, we’re good. I need to speak to B’s Favorite Girl. And the girl that’s becoming my Favorite. I’d have to send B and V to their room. Virgil Tunes In B.

Thursday, May 1, 2025

Meditation 304 ~Virgil Tunes In B~

1551 Days Without B III, Day 992 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I haven’t seen any people. And I haven’t paid much attention to the news. Stepmom?

First, M Anime isn’t your and Virgil’s stepmom, so I should stop calling her such. But you can’t blame a man for hoping she wants the job. She likes killers, a mad general, and a “Smooth Criminal.” In her dreams, ha-ha. Your Daddy is none of those things. I’m trying…

Yeah, B III, I’m trying not to look at the Day Job schedule or how much I made last week. Positive thoughts? I’m talking to the ghost of my dead fur kid and writing about those evil men that M Anime can’t get enough of. Or at least I want to. Like when you were waiting for me to be successful. Virgil is waiting, too. And how much time have I wasted as I look at the date? Your favorite girl’s birthday is on Star Wars Day. I’ve got nothing.

So why aren’t I talking to your little brother about these things? For being a good dog like you, he’s a scaredy cat. Who am I calling scared? I live in a constant state of fear. My “Captive State,” if you will. I miss watching movies with you and your favorite girl, whom I haven’t talked to in a while. My, how things change. I’m sorta freaked today, Little B.

Only not in the good way that M Anime is starting to write about. Speaking of things changing, I remember imagining you lying in your corner while some girl lies with me sans her clothing, listening to apocalyptic rock from the 50s. But I’m here listening to pretty Harpsibored dole-out gaming tracks. While Virgil snoozes.

Your Dad can speak like an “Ordinary Human,” at least when it comes to you. Isn’t it “Ironic” that I’m only “Human,” “Just A Man,” when we’re here, talking, dreaming.

Braxton, your brother and I are trying to find our voices, especially with each other. Honestly, how long did it take me to learn your language and how I would always sing to you. It’s the “1st of tha Month” and Virgil has been here nearly 1000 days. And still, he shakes like a leaf. When he does make a sound, it’s when I leave for the day. Money (snickers).

I should say hi to your favorite girl. Stop talking about Cherry’s Yabbos. M Anime is fun. I can say anything. Virgil Tunes In B.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 303 ~Braxton, Virgil, Have WRITES~

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“Now, did you read the news today?” Sorry, but no. The Genesis of America is that things get worse. Modernized but worse. It leads to a friend’s bad dreams. But we compared ourselves to Winston and Julia. Classic reading. Braxton, Virgil, Have WRITES

Wednesday, April 30, 2025

Meditation 303 ~Braxton, Virgil, Have WRITES~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Though I woke up this morning, uh, not feeling that way. Not good, not bad. Super, super (super!)

Listen to the song “Teen Idle,” and you’ll get it. But who knows? Maybe you won’t. It’s the same thing with my writing. And didn’t I tell myself I was going to be positive today?

What can I say? Old habits die hard. I have a thing for sisters in pigtails and bikinis. Uh, Ew! And then there are the rules. My rules. Do you remember, Dear Madam Justice, Echo?

Do you remember Rule Fifteen, I Take My Own Lumps? ONE of the things that rule means is that I take responsibility and accountability, and pay my own way. Big bill? Inspector, yes, it was a VERY big bill that I handled. If I take care of myself, Braxton, and Virgil, “we gon’ be alright.”

But Braxton isn’t alright. He lives in books now, Inspector. I’m trying to remain positive. And I also read that I went a week without any self-fulfillment. Sisters, Pigtails, Bikinis…

“I’m sorry, I just need one minute to make sure I look good. Do you think I look good, Mr. Armstrong?” ― The Cleveland Show

Yes, my dear Echo, that’s all it took to break me. But I did enjoy my streak while it lasted. And Virgil was already in Braxton’s room. I swear he’s communing with B III’s spirit.

Meanwhile, I’d usually be drooling over pictures of Cherry’s Yabbos or the confession she wrote once upon a time. And speaking of writing, Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom has been doing plenty of that lately. Again, I shouldn’t be calling M Anime the stepmom. But um…

Inspector, I swear M Anime is trying to send me a message through her writing.

So yeah, you are not Lady Sophia. I leave books and edits to her. But M Anime first wrote about a fictional first time in a brothel. That led to “Nightmare At The Meat Market.” She asked about Cherry’s sexual characterizations, and so I shared “The Eve of A Cherry.”

With that, she told me about another dream. Sex? Xu? “Cries Come Women, Come Country.” And most recently, she shared her “dream” of her and The Associate having sex. Wow!

So what does it mean when a woman is having “Sexxx Dreams” and compares her partners to you? Book boyfriend material? Anyway, as long as I ignore the news, I’m reading plenty of good things. Erotic books, bills paid, streak before… Braxton, Virgil, Have WRITES

1550 Days Without B III, Day 991 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 298 ~Virgil Isn’t B’s Plot~

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Will I ever write my autobiography? I wrote two books about my son. Um… I’m too busy complaining about the Day Job. I have all the time in the world to write, edit, and PUBLISH. But I have to live on; I have to survive. Because Virgil Isn’t B’s Plot.

Friday, April 25, 2025

Meditation 298 ~Virgil Isn’t B’s Plot~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Hell! I’m surprised I was even able to read this morning. My eyes are so heavy.

Exhaustion, Addiction, or Allergies? At least I’m not crying over my “Lost Boy.” My B.

Oh no, that would make too much sense. Or no sense at all, seeing B’s been gone four long years. I need only invoke Sunday, January 31, 2021. And anything I’m going through becomes nothing. I watched my son, my Braxton, die, and… Well, the tears are trying to eke out. I need them because I have so much reading to do today. Try Happiness.

Honestly, my lady, you know that word does not exist here. However, I did consider telling you how Virgil arrived. That was Saturday, August 13, 2022. Joyful tears, Sophia? I’m sweating bullets, actually. But I thought I heard Braxton’s voice. “How To Save A Life?”

As this week draws to a close, I’m afraid all I know how to do is make better writers cash. The story of my life is nothing compared to the B-plots from the likes of Dirk Knight and Logan Jacobs. This is the last day for triple Kindle Points, so I NEED more books. SIGH

With what money? If I’m lucky, my B-Plot of a Day Job has me in once a week. I’m not. So, as for all my paid time off… The following two weeks will be hard. And the following two are wasted. So much for going to see Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom. I have to stop calling M Anime that, as if she would even have me. Comparing me to Xu…

Oh, right, I’m supposed to be writing a novel about her nightmare with General Xu. Writing isn’t paying the bills. Sophia, if I finish the story, there’s… Too Much Sauce. However, analyzing the book I’m writing, called “Cries Come Women, Come Country,” isn’t helping either. It takes my mind off missing my son, my money, and any mistakes I make.

Like explaining this to M Anime. AHEM! In her nightmare/short story, I noticed the level of intimacy between her and General Xu. She was first taken in darkness, then held down, chained up, held softly, and then she clung to him. With acceptance, she climaxed.

I can worry about what she thinks instead of the main story. Braxton, Virgil, and I. Virgil Isn’t B’s Plot

1545 Days Without B III, Day 986 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 297 ~Braxton Spells Much Virgil~

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How do you spell love? God is… Dog is love. To call B a proper gentleman around his favorite girl is to make myself Casanova with M Anime. But my boy made it to Heaven. And I just want to go to bed. I haven’t left. Doomed? Braxton Spells Much Virgil.

Thursday, April 24, 2025

Meditation 297 ~Braxton Spells Much Virgil~

1544 Days Without B III, Day 985 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? “Love and Happiness.” If it wasn’t for love, we wouldn’t be talking today. And happiness?

Braxton, I love you like pancakes. But I’m not happy. Your Dad’s never been happy.

That’s a big claim. But I wasn’t happy at twenty when we first met. And in 2021, I was even more “Broken” with your loss. Only if you want to know something you and your brother have in common besides having four legs. I didn’t know what I felt meeting.

Why am I not talking to Virgil today? We’ve been outside, and he’s had breakfast. But today, I slept a lot later than usual. It’s 9:20 AM. And even that thought makes me cry. Or it’s allergies, AGAIN. How about a lack of sleep? I spoke to you and Virgil’s future stepmom last night and this morning. I gotta stop calling M Anime that. Seriously.

Braxton, how do you spell love? It’s like I’m the Tower of Babel, and you and your brother, your favorite girl, M Anime, Cherry, my Olds, and even myself are the builders, trying to get me to Heaven. But all the noise from everyone. How we speak in different ways, B.

You and Virgil speak of love, but yours is very faint. Being dead and all. I know that’s not funny, Braxton. Your brother tells a different version of love. I’ve got no word for it.

Your favorite girl is a glimmer of joy. When Cherry isn’t saying, “Look at me, look at me,” I’m drooling over her Yabbos. Uh, eww.

When I think of my Olds, your grandparents, you know what I hear? Worthless, waste, and “what you gonna do with your life?” Boys Just Want To Have Fun, remember.

Honestly, I don’t want to look at the “Man in the Mirror.” “It’s no surprise to me. I am my own worst enemy.” Hell! Even now. I’m still on my back, yapping away with you.

Those were the days. And they beat, slithering on my belly, dreaming up scenarios between Joel, Ellie, Dina, and Abby. I got around to watching The Last of Us. And if it wasn’t them or Cherry, then the things I said to M Anime. I’m no gentleman. You’re not, either.

But I raised you to be a better man than me. That B is my love. Braxton Spells Much Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 296 ~Braxton Wasn’t Planned, Virgil~

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I didn’t plan on being a Dad. And I can’t count on being a husband. Last I saw, I was $3,000 in the hole. Showing a bunch of anime holes or writing about lady parts equals a whole lot of nothing. My boys need to eat. “Braxton Wasn’t Planned, Virgil.”

Wednesday, April 23, 2025

Meditation 296 ~Braxton Wasn’t Planned, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… But no, I haven’t knocked up Braxton and Virgil’s future stepmom. I should stop calling “M Anime” that.

“Accidents ambush the unsuspecting, often violently, just like love.”
― Andrew Davidson from The Gargoyle

I didn’t plan on having a son. I didn’t plan on my Braxton. I didn’t plan on being a Dad. But one night, my father walks in with this little ball of fluff. And though I had begged for a dog for years… There’s this tiny thing being flopped into my sister’s hands. My Neo.

That’s what I called him anyway. My Ma quickly changed it to Braxton. But to me, he would always be “The ONE.” And because my sister knew how to make a life. And “I am an equal opportunity misanthrope.” “Here I Am”: Father, Friend, and Fiend. Because I never planned on killing him. But I survived. I learned. And I’ve never forgiven myself, either. I dream, plan, and do nothing.

So that’s why I’m here Monday, April 21, 2025, financially effed. I should have followed.

Who, Braxton? “Too Little Too Late,” as the Barenaked Ladies sing. We’ll get to that. Today, there’s Virgil. 984 days ago, he wasn’t here. Hell! Braxton was very much alive on Tuesday, October 20, 2020, when Virgil was born. Three months later, my Braxton passed.

How much did it cost for tests and trying to keep him alive? “It Doesn’t Matter.” But when was the last check I got over one hundred dollars? And now Virgil’s vet visit, security, and the fact we need to eat… I didn’t plan on seeing forty or on trying to be Virgil’s hero. SIGH

He needs a father. I need to be a man.

Please! I don’t know the first thing about being a man. I’ve got man parts. And what was I doing with that hardware before coming here and talking to you, E? Trying not to come.

Talk about blasphemy because I was the same way on Easter Sunday. Whether it was M Anime’s nightmare that I’m writing “Cries Come Women, Come Country.” There are thoughts of Cherry’s huge vanilla Yabbos. Then such and such posted Megumi and Ayami from “Ecchi na Onee-Chan ni Shiboraretai,” so I had to cut up their episodes. But this led me to two more sisters I was moaning about in the bathroom. Filming OnlyFans? Nope. “Don’t know why I didn’t come.” “Mama told me not to come.” Braxton Wasn’t Planned, Virgil.

1543 Days Without B III, Day 984 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 291 ~Creating The B-Plot Virgil~

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Well, if it’s any consolation, this horrible week will be over when I reread this. Didn’t I want more hours? It’s why I’m writing this on a Sunday and not a Friday. I’ve written of worse weeks. And even worse stories. Creating The B-Plot Virgil.

Friday, April 18, 2025

Meditation 291 ~Creating The B-Plot Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Because I won’t be giving you a book review today. Have I finished “Backyard Dungeon 15”

Considering today is Sunday, April 13, 2025. And speaking of stories, doesn’t The Last of Us Season 2 begin tonight? My son, Braxton, was so creative. When Sundays rolled around, and Daddy communed with the dead… The Walking Dead, that is. He would come up with ways to entertain himself. That is if he didn’t want to crawl beside me and be quiet for an hour or thereabouts. Hell! B was considerate enough to die in the off-season. That’s dark…

But by now, Lady Sophia, you know, that’s how I like my stories. Happy Endings… Whatever! Virgil would have something to say about that. This being his forever home. Ha!

I’m sure “The Art of Racing in the Rain” is better. I haven’t read it.

And what about my books? We’ll get to that. Because you don’t know how badly I wish I could say this week is “Unwritten.” However, regarding the Day Job, “Every Day Is Exactly the Same.” This wouldn’t be so bad if I were “just a regular everyday normal mothereffer.” But no. I’m sure this week has expanded on Humiliations Galore.

Excuses not to go in; they are coming up empty. I have lots to explain, well as the song goes:

“‘Cause I’m a loser
And sooner or later, you know I’ll be dead.”
3 Doors Down

Soy un perdedor
I’m a loser, baby, so why don’t you kill me?
Loser, Beck

Explanations for this. Not movies, music, or manuscripts. I don’t blame it on missing my Braxton. Or missing the spark that made me a great father… Seriously, I’m failing Virgil.

Editing my novels? It’s like a B-plot to a movie.

Mind you, Lady Sophia. A lousy movie, as sleep always comes first. Stealing dreaming time.

Bad dreams, as is the case with M Anime. Earlier, “Cries Come Women, Come Country.” What did you get when you take a lovely lady’s military nightmare and the anime series Kuroinu? “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.” An African-American Writer. I wish.

Sophia, only days before, I was working on “Nightmare At The Meat Market,” Ch. 19. Honestly, I told M Anime I already had ideas for a sequel. As horrible as I am, I’m not Donald Trump. FDT! I have more than “concepts of a plan.” Ripping off Discipline: The Hentai Academy. “The Eve of a Cherry”? What happened with that book? Existence… Or I keep trying. Creating The B-Plot Virgil.

1538 Days Without B III, Day 979 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 290 ~Renewing Braxton’s Membership Virgil~

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May God be with you. May God’s love be with you, always. Godspeed. Things I didn’t say to B as he lay dying. May God be with you all if I ever write a book that sells. No way! And as far as breeding two-leggeds? “Renewing Braxton’s Membership Virgil”

Thursday, April 17, 2025

Meditation 290 ~Renewing Braxton’s Membership Virgil~

1537 Days Without B III, Day 978 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? By the time you’re reading this, your Daddy’s half-dead. But today… Saturday, April 12, 2025.

You won’t like me saying this, Braxton. I’ll let Thandiwe Newton, AKA Dame Vaako, say…

I wouldn’t be surprised if someone promoted him soon… to full dead.
― Dame Vaako

Yes, your Dad is “Feeling super, super (super!) suicid…” But that’s not your fault, Braxton. I wake up “Every Morning” asking, “Why (why?), why (why?) Tell ’em that it’s Human Nature.” Or at least for humans. And I don’t know how to bring myself back to life. Music, Movies, a Manuscript. If you asked me right now to describe life, I would say Cast Away.

I’m Chuck Noland. Your little brother Virgil Vivi is the raft. Honestly, Braxton, it’s why I’m at the Dining Room Table wearing pants despite “Chloe | Kuroinu.” But anyway, B. You’re Wilson out there floating along, and for once, I ain’t crying… I think… Allergies.

So why aren’t I crying? I saw something beautiful on Facebook! OMG! WTF! Right, B?

Anyway, I looked it up, and it’s from a book-turned-movie, “The Art of Racing in the Rain.” If only I weren’t reading Backyard Dungeon 15 this week. Braxton, I was listening to this dog Enzo talk about how if he did return to the land of the living Braxton, he would return as a man.

Do you remember when I was reading all those books about reincarnation? And I’ve been saying for about two and a half years that V isn’t you? I knew I effed up looking for you.

Do you, my son, have a greater destiny? I’ve been joking a lot about M Anime being your stepmom. Mom!

Seriously Braxton. M Anime had this dream, which she wrote into a short story about… She said a crazy general wanted to make her a mother. He did “Bad Things” to her, but she ended up enjoying them. Then he spoke of having sons with her. Breeding? A kinky fetish…

Braxton, as the song asks, “Am I A Psycho?” Well, I’m writing a full-blown manuscript.

Writers, by nature, have to be a little crazy. But “Cries Come Women, Come Country.” Braxton that has been clawing its way through my mind for days. An Erotic Horror? A War Thriller? I don’t know. But if you’re meant to be a man… M Anime and me, B III. Your resurrection. Me as your father. Renewing Braxton’s Membership Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 289 ~Braxton’s Shelved Elsewhere, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I’ll read and/or write anything today, as I’m not checking the mailbox. And I don’t want to read about dogs in distress… Uh, half my Kindle is Pet Loss books. Disregard females and acquire currency. Ah, writing. “Braxton’s Shelved Elsewhere, Virgil.”

Wednesday, April 16, 2025

Meditation 289 ~Braxton’s Shelved Elsewhere, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Considering this conversation is on Tuesday, April 8, 2025, how do I know. I’m living three to five.

What are those sins? In no particular order, Braxton is dead; I have thoughts on big Yabbos, and like MAGA… And make no mistake, Inspector, I despise MAGA. Eff DJT! Anyway, like MAGA, I give into IGNORANCE and HATE. But what rivals my son? FEAR!

Is it a sin to live in fear? Yes! Because of FEAR, I’m not the man I should be, Inspector. Existing… Living in FEAR is disrespectful of my Braxton’s life. The little brave dog he was. And I’m not the Dad I must be for his brother Virgil. I swear what I’ve thought up, E.

I saw a message about a distressed dog, and I thought the neighbors were talking about my Virgil. But it’s much further up the street.

I hope… Yes, I hope. But what do I hope for the most today? Other than B III beating death.

I want to be… I am a writer. Wimp, womanizer, and worthless but writing Inspector. That’s what we’re going to talk about today. The books “Nightmare At The Meat Market,” “The Eve Of A Cherry,” and “Cries Come Women, Come Country.” These are not just titles; they are my struggles and my desires. My darkness, Inspector. As I said last week, you’re no librarian or editor, but the inspiration of Yabbos trumps my fears, Inspector… For now. But today, all I ask is for creativity, originality, and time. More sins.

“The Eve Of A Cherry” we talked about last week in Meditation 282 ~Virgil Has Tales, Braxton~. And it is about as original as talking about an English girl’s Yabbos can be. I discovered “Fake Driving Lessons” and “Fake Taxi” due to Cherry and her lovely mum. But… again, I began working on that story after so many years because of another muse of mine.

“Nightmare At The Meat Market” was all M Anime’s doing. Funny, both she and Cherry are writers. I know how to pick ’em, don’t I, Inspector? But Cherry shared dreams, and M Anime has nightmares… They just so happen to be the hottest things ever.

“Cries Come Women, Come Country” is M Anime’s recent nightmare. Or so that’s the title I chose. Long story short, a resistance soldier is captured and is used as a “comfort woman” for a general. But where are my son’s novels? Braxton’s Shelved Elsewhere, Virgil.

1536 Days Without B III, Day 977 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 284 ~Braxton Previews, Virgil Reviews~

WillLeave a comment

So, an outline. I’m sure Another Day will come when I talk about my boys. And as far as what I’m reading… I should be done with Xydnee James’s “Comfort After Pet Loss Guide,” but what about writing “my” books? Never! Braxton Previews, Virgil Reviews.

Friday, April 11, 2025

Meditation 284 ~Braxton Previews, Virgil Reviews~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Braxton forbid it ever be “Nightmare At The Meat Market.” But today’s Sunday, April 6, 2025.

I could wax on yet again about my loss, Braxton. Or whatever is wrong with Virgil. But considering we’re talking today… I’m trying to escape my Day Job with… Seriously! Lady Sophia, I’ve got Issues. But also a dream and

Outline:

Chapter Nineteen: Clearance Sale On Aisle Life
William, Sofía, and Cherry launch their rebellion against Mr. Richard Thornfield of Max-Mart, taking over and finally escaping.

  1. Told from William’s POV. Cherry and Sofía continue their kiss as William silently counts the dings of the elevators rising. Imagining being with them.
  2. Making it to the top floor, William, Cherry, and Sofía make their way to the CEO. He flounders as he tries to retain control.
  3. Sofía and Cherry feign seduction of Mr. Thornfield as the other girls draw closer as well. William draws his weapon for the assassination attempt.
  4. The guards loyal to William and Cherry lock the doors, trapping everyone inside. The other girls maintain their grips on Mr. Thornfield’s business associates.
  5. Mr. Thornfield realizes the trap and fights back as the other girls shoot his business associates. Battles erupt between girls and guards all over.
  6. William, Sofía, and Cherry battle CEO Mr. Richard Thornfield, who manages to hold them off even as his guards succumb in the ballroom gunfight.
  7. The slave girls overwhelm the guards and take them all down. The girls suffer injuries, but most survive the fight. Everyone from Chapter Sixteen.
  8. William, Sofía, and Cherry gang up on Mr. Thornfield. His neck is broken by William, he is shot by Sofía, and stabbed by Cherry.
  9. William, Sofía, and Cherry drag the corpse to the main doors that are unlocked after seeing Mr. Thornfield deceased. The guards await William’s instructions.
  10. Cherry hits Sofía, knocking her out, to everyone’s dismay, until she reminds William work must be done. William meets with associates loyal to him.
  11. Mr. Thornfield’s empire is exposed to the law. William, Sofía, and Cherry watch with the others while the hotel burns down. Max-Marts begin closing.
  12. William, Sofía, and Cherry celebrate together. Forgetting the animosity between Cherry and Sofía. Until Sofía drew a weapon, pointing at both William and Cherry.

Another chapter? Ready, Set, Write! Braxton Previews, Virgil Reviews

1531 Days Without B III, Day 972 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 283 ~A Sorry’s Between B-V~

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I’m sorry, but I’ll share. Sometimes, that’s too much, and others, not enough. And it depends on whether one of my boys. I’m a father of two… Uh, one? I don’t like remembering. Like when I talk to pretty, pretty girls. Any W’s? A Sorry’s Between B-V.

Thursday, April 10, 2025

Meditation 283 ~A Sorry’s Between B-V~

1530 Days Without B III, Day 971 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I’m sorry I’m bothering you twice today. I know it’s still Thursday, April 3, 2025.

And truth be told, that’s the least I need to be sorry for. The ole, you’re in a box angle.

Nope! You’re here, Little B, listening to your Dad feel sorry for himself and everything. All as I listen to Harpsibored on YouTube, who reminds me of your potential stepmom. I need to stop calling M Anime that, especially after explaining what happened earlier this morning. In fact, I owe plenty of apologies here at 10:20 AM. Dad’s an A-hole…

However, I’ll start my apology tour with you and Virgil. It’s “Times Like These” Braxton. Four years ago, in late January 2021, I was pretty annoyed with you for keeping me up on a work night. But when I came HOME, I decided you needed to see the veterinarian on Friday. It should’ve been nothing.

I didn’t know we’d say goodbye on Sunday, January 31, 2021. And what about Virgil?

Well, this morning, present day, as I was making a cappuccino, I was thinking about how I’ve been existing with our schedule. I couldn’t remember how many pills you took. Was it two in the morning and one at night or the other way? Well, I’ve been letting Virgil out at sunrise when I’m here. Not 8:00 AM? Writing time… “Nightmare At The Meat Market”. You know that’s based off of M Anime’s dream. And what I’ve been telling her.

I have been kicking myself since Wednesday night. You recall I loaned your favorite girl $500. I gave MILF Dos $300. And now $700. I swear, your Daddy is crazy.

I must not think much of her, or I overthink. When it comes to those I care for… Again, after going through your papers this morning,… $323.60. Euthanasia! Last Day! And even more, trying to save you! And “Only God Knows Why” and how much Virgil’s following vet visit will cost. Not that it matters. He is my son, like you. Aren’t you proud, Braxton?

“And I feel like number one yet I’m last in line
I watch my youngest son and it helps to pass the time.”
Kid Rock

However… I know I’m not the only A-hole here cough Kid Rock cough FDT, right?

Anyway, what about forgiving myself? How? Why? Indulging with Anna and Riko Ichinose. Yes, I’m still upset about missing this morning. Your Dad enjoys sleaze…

Honestly, I want a steak. On $17.00… I’m hungry, Humpin’ Around, and must leave the house. A Sorry’s Between B-V.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad