Journey 020 ~On Braxton’s First Words~

I’m not reading about the latest crime that Trump and the Cracker Hats committed. I also didn’t necessarily cry thinking about my son. I read about a guy staring at his realtor’s Yabbos. I texted my potential girlfriend. But, on Braxton’s First Words

Monday, July 21, 2025

Journey 020 ~On Braxton’s First Words~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Some Dad, you are not recognizing your own son. Some Dad, you are not recognizing yourself. Some Dad, huh.

A Dad who made me proud to be his son. My man… Well, you probably want me and Virgil’s potential stepmom to call you that. My Old Man? Even now, your stomach is in knots thinking about whether Grandpa calls. But my Human. “Don’t put the blame on me,” Dad.

That the words are too few, too simple, and plain, and to us. There I go sounding like my could-be stepmom, M Anime. Any words spoken in love are never wasted. And your first words this morning… That’s what I want you to think about, Daddy. The first words and not the last. The last day you saw me was not my last words, now were they? We’re here now. And a dog once said:

“Be. Here. Now. That’s a dog’s purpose.”
A Dog’s Purpose

See, Daddy. I was sitting there with you yesterday as you worked on my “life” story a bit. “My Turn To B III.” And how I waited my turn this morning. You’ll deny it until Trump and the MAGA Cracker Hats are brought to justice, but you love yourself, Dad.

Reading something early in the morning that doesn’t involve putting me in the ground is a sign of care. Yes, instead it was one of those books you’d read to yourself because it wasn’t appropriate for me. “What’s My Age Again?” And thankfully, my little brother was asleep. How old is Virgil, late twenties, early thirties, at four years old? And yet, when you pick him up and check him for bugs. Daddy, you love my brother. Your second born.

So much so that after you read a little. You talked to Ms. M Anime, another one of those conversations on the little glow box. What, Dad, you remember my Favorite Girl and her yabbos. And now you have M Anime and her yabbos. I learned from the best father.

But you speak to her because you care. And even she told you not to worry about your first words when you see her. I don’t think my potential stepmom is coming only to talk.

For the record, Virgil will be upset. But if he and I get a stepmom. “Someday.” Two-legged siblings? Will you remember their first words? Will they want your last words? Both, I’d say. I love you. On Braxton’s First Words

“Humans were capable of so many amazing things, but too often they just sat making words, not doing anything.”
W. Bruce Cameron, A Dog’s Purpose

“Death twitches my ear; ‘Live,’ he says… ‘I’m coming.”
Virgil

1632 Days Without B III, Day 1073 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 018 ~B’s Breathless, Sorry V~

Stop and catch your breath. There’s the scent of my Braxton sitting on my head. There’s Virgil that has crept up. There’s the sweat from the Day Job… No, that’s FEAR. And is that M Anime’s perfume? Only in the Winter air. B’s Breathless, Sorry V

Saturday, July 19, 2025

Journey 018 ~B’s Breathless, Sorry V~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… But with the billionaires I know, a lobotomy is free. Only it shouldn’t be. Nothing is.

Eric Vall’s books aren’t. I spent most of last night reciting one in my head to get back to sleep, Lunalesca. And speaking of books, Backyard Dungeon 18, Pledged To Him 2, and Alas, Babylon… Both the book and the saying. And where the Eff did I get ten bucks!

Nowhere, Lady Lunalesca. As a matter of fact, I won’t be getting paid next week.

Lunalesca, I sit here wondering. No! I know why I didn’t leave Braxton to such a fate as starvation. Am I starving? I have money in the bank, but it’s nowhere near enough. That’s like saying I have Virgil here, but he’s not my Braxton. Was that a dig? I could use a Snickers. You’re not you when you’re hungry.

I swear, effing Pop Culture! Or should I go on a rant about MAGA? Eff MAGA! FDT! I need to catch my breath. Lu, I’ve needed to catch my breath since Sunday, January 31, 2021. I would have given it to Braxton if I knew he could have survived. Breathing!

“Out-standing! Did he have the balls to die there?”
Jarhead

Besides ending my son’s breathing, the second worst thing I’ve ever done is draw breath. And my days are spent trying to rectify that mistake. Why do you think I slept so late today? There are so many things outside. “The Long Walk.” If I had ten dollars to waste, I should have bought “The Running Man.” Do I really need more Stephen King, Luna?

FEAR is everywhere and always chasing. But I keep going.

And that’s another reason Virgil and I are a match made in Hell. As I went to pick him up this morning to keep him away from bugs, Virgil spun around me like a tornado.

Lunalesca, it was the bat I carried that scared him. Virgil obviously took a beating in his previous life. And then he ended up in this Hell with me. V had to keep breathing, Lu.

And since I won’t drown in my tears. And FEAR can only take my breath for a second, what else is there? Yabbos? Eww! But hear me out. I would love to be smothered to death by Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom M Anime’s Big’Uns. But that involves breathing till Winter. B’s Breathless, Sorry V

1630 Days Without B III, Day 1071 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Words Dropout Pledged To Him (Book Review)

Words Dropout Pledged To Him
I couldn’t drop this, and yet the words WTF fell out of my mouth with the TWIST. The unexpected, perhaps. However, I did enjoy ‘Pledged To Him.’ But from this genre or this writer, perhaps. When things start getting real… Anyway, of course, my favorite part was the whole Daddy and Babygirl angle, which makes me think about wanting to give it the good ole college try once. But yeah, more adult universe and less real. It’s been a minute.

It’s not something I would necessarily recommend to friends given the beginning’s “realness.” But everything else after that. And especially the promise that Jackson Avery made. Neil Bimbeau never disappoints. Only be ready for some darkness and also the heroics.

Journey 017 ~Don’t B Reading, Virgil~

On top of everything else, my first book review for 2025. If I can’t buy books to earn double points for Kindle, then… then nothing. I’m wasting time wondering how I’ll educate myself and my fur kids when none of us speaks. Don’t B Reading, Virgil.

Friday, July 18, 2025

Journey 017 ~Don’t B Reading, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Is that a lie? About as much as telling my boys not to read. Literacy kids.

Maybe if people read more, we wouldn’t be in this mess. If the MAGA Cracker Hats weren’t so busy burning books. My apologies, my lady, but even before reading M Anime’s rendition of Kim Petras’s “Treat Me Like A Sl*t…” There’s a reason M Anime could be Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom someday. Anyway, before I start drooling yet again and have to reset the No Fap counter to zero, thank you, M Anime, Cherry, @SeeJaneGoTV, @PopcornInBed, and lastly Alexis Rodriguez… Dear Sophia, these Latina chicks.

Anyway, I have to read about what the Cracker Hats have done. No wonder I don’t read about surviving Braxton’s passing. And what about Virgil? He’s still very much alive, but I can’t read Neil Bimbeau’s “Pledged To Him.” Review:

Words Dropout Pledged To Him
I couldn’t drop this, and yet the words WTF fell out of my mouth with the TWIST. The unexpected, perhaps. However, I did enjoy ‘Pledged To Him.’ But from this genre or this writer, perhaps. When things start getting real… Anyway, of course, my favorite part was the whole Daddy and Babygirl angle, which makes me think about wanting to give it the good ole college try once. But yeah, more adult universe and less real. It’s been a minute.

It’s not something I would necessarily recommend to friends given the beginning’s “realness.” But everything else after that. And especially the promise that Jackson Avery made. Neil Bimbeau never disappoints. Only be ready for some darkness and also the heroics.

Seriously, Lady Sophia, did I just give you a book review? And why couldn’t I provide you with something like “The Running Man” Because I only read a bit of the sample? And the whole book? Do I look like I have money? That’s why my boys aren’t reading, Sophia.

I could finish Braxton’s Novel, “My Turn To B III.” But by the 25th? That number has been popping up. Cherry made twenty-five bucks. The Running Man is set in 2025. And I said I would publish by Friday, July 25, 2025. But I can’t even read my banking right. I made $20. Spent $80. I don’t want to read about my inadequacies and failures.

But Effing M Anime. Someday Maybe… Don’t B Reading, Virgil

1629 Days Without B III, Day 1070 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 015 ~My Change, B, V~

Failing as an American? Become a MAGA Cracker Hat. Relish in hatred and ignorance for those not the “correct” skin tone. Be broke. I’m nowhere near Cracker Hat dumb. I like Yabbos. All colors, shapes, and sizes. I Need A Dollar. My Change, B, V.

Wednesday, July 16, 2025

Journey 015 ~My Change, B, V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I haven’t made a dime this week. And much like MAGA preaches. I’m an able-bodied American. And Black…

Effing Cracker Hats would send me to “Alligator Alcatraz” without question. As if that scares me now. Another one of my sins is not caring about my brothers and sisters.

Inspector, I’m ready to go all Land of Confusion for “my country.” Less Genesis, more Disturbed. But no. Today and every day begin and end with my boys, Braxton and Virgil. My sons, my children. The ones that made me change from… WHATEVER, into a friend, a father, and someone that can’t afford to Eff up. So where’s my money?

Inspector, There, “Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked.” I ended my boy. Braxton isn’t here. Yes, yes, Euthanasia, but a bag of ash and another of beige/tan fur. And then I rescued Virgil. Second Born.

Braxton was a dollar, and Virgil was the change. It doesn’t make sense. Do I think I’m funny? Also, I should quit being a meanie. MJ said this about making the world a better place.

“If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change.”
MJ

B’s Favorite Girl would be proud of me for knowing this from the Supernatural series:

That’s what hell is. Forgetting what you were.
Malleus Maleficarum

And that’s it, Inspector. I’m a “Bad Man,” Inspector, nowhere near R. Kelly bad. And I’ll never be an effing MAGA Cracker Hat. But I’m a bad person trying real, real hard to be a good one. Only I can’t save myself, so why did I think I could save my kids, B and V?

Braxton wasn’t a choice. B jumped onto the bed one morning, chowing down on waffles.

Speaking of jumping into bed…

What about “My Girl,” Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime? Again, unlike The Cracker Hats, I know, Puerto Rico is part of the U.S.A. Eff Tony Hinchcliffe too, Echo.

But the WWE likes him, and I still watch wrestling, which is one more sin of mine. But I’m not thinking about all the yummy Yabbos in the women’s division. Give me Cherry, @SeeJaneGoTV, and especially M Anime. Am I a cheat, too? In the spirit of Sir Mix-a-Lot, Ahem, I like big breasts if you cannot guess. You other brothers can attest… Seriously, E.

How much have I paid to see a girl’s copious cleavage, talk about my c*ck? Or make me come? I’m broke. I Need A Dollar. Better? My Change, B, V

1627 Days Without B III, Day 1068 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 013 ~Braxton Gets A Bug~

I don’t look to the future. But my boys’ potential stepmom has hope. Braxton was/is like that. He’d be living the dream. A big yard, the big brother to some two-legged kids, and he’d collect d*ck-teasers, Skeezers, and weirdos. But Braxton Gets A Bug

Monday, July 14, 2025

Journey 013 ~Braxton Gets A Bug~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And your day has only just begun. “We’ve Only Just Begun.” Girls? Really Dad? How’s “My Favorite Girl” doing?

Well, I should ask about my little brother first. How’s Virgil? You were scared he was two paws away from joining me. “(Sixteen) toes down, dawg. Love and the loyalty, that’s what we stand for.” What? I was way past the age of calling you ‘Bro’ Dad. Speaking of age…

How are you, Daddy? I know that sounds weird with what you were reading this morning. Virgil and I’s potential stepmom, M Anime. She’ll make better reading company. Uh, that’s like comparing sitting with you to sitting on “My Favorite Girl.” I love you, Old Man, but My Favorite Girl was just so soft. And now you have a girl of your own… Uh, potentially. And I’m going to say that bugs me, my father.

The fact that your future is coming on. And a part of me wants to go all Dolph Ziggler barking, “It Should’ve Been Me!” “My future. It’s coming on, it’s coming on, it’s coming on.” A little too much wrestling last night, Dad. I was there watching with you and my little brother. Always and forever is what we promised. Those nights sitting there, Dad.

When there was only us. Then there was My Favorite Girl. Next came little Virgil. In the future, there’ll be M Anime. One day there’ll be my other siblings. You said you’d name one of those crumb snatchers after me. And who knows… Resurrection? Reincarnation?

“Back up in your ass with the resurrection.”
Geto Boys

I know being a human bugs the Hell out of you, Dad. What bugs me?

It wasn’t any of those ones outside. Or whatever it was that made me sick. Or even how we ended things because you were there with me. Cliché, but I was with my best friend.

I was with you then, now, and in the future, and I can’t wait for you to bug me. Always.

I’ll be the one sitting with V when you shut him out of the room for M Anime Dad. Eww!

I’ll take turns sitting with you, M Anime, my two-legged brothers and sisters, as you fiddle with your glow boxes. I’ll miss out on all the fries as Virgil fills up. But I’ll always have a space in your heart. And why you can’t see it? Braxton Gets A Bug

“I’m too socially awkward to be left to my own devices. What do I do?”
― Seven Days in June

“Age carries all things away, even the mind.”
― Virgil

1625 Days Without B III, Day 1066 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 011 ~FEAR ME, B, V~

Be Not So Fearful. I wish. I fear my book… No! Braxton’s book will not be a success, and what does that mean? I’d join Braxton, but don’t I have to look after his little brother Virgil? And their “stepmom” needs a house to visit. “FEAR ME, B, V”

Saturday, July 12, 2025

Journey 011 ~FEAR ME, B, V~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… But I’m not Bone Crusher. “I ain’t never scared.” And he ain’t a billionaire. And me?

“At first I was afraid, I was petrified. Thinking I could live without you by my side.” Oh, what would my little Braxton think of me? The usual. “My Daddy’s weird.” Anytime I would pick him up to dance. “May I Have This Dance?” I haven’t asked Virgil that, Lu.

Every day after “The Long Walk,” I check his little face and all over for any sign of ticks. Do you remember when that was my greatest fear? It was only a few days ago.

Lunalesca, what I fear the most, though I didn’t know it at the time, is watching my son, my Braxton, die. Talk about being scared to death. And I was too STUPID to follow him.

Lunalesca, what do I fear?

I haven’t been so scared since “The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident…” Should I turn to OnlyFans again? I have around twenty bucks there. And speaking of medical “emergencies,” I haven’t been this scared since I had to get my ears irrigated. It was more like somebody “ran a train” on my right ear. A Bukkake scene on my ear, Lunalesca.

Effing waking up this morning, I had a severe case of FOMO, so I was on “X” cutting up scenes from Saimin Seishidou: The Case of Miyajima Tsubaki. Why does it frighten me not to come first… Bad choice of words? And we’ll speak about M Amine soon, my Lu.

What has been scaring me the most, to quote Aloe Blacc, “I Need a Dollar.”

“Are you scared? We’re all scared. You’d have to be crazy not to be scared.”
Major Chip Hazard “Small Soldiers”

My boys and I are all small men. Again, a bad choice of words. I lifted my Braxton so high, I sent him straight to Heaven, the Rainbow Bridge, or wherever. I carry Virgil high above the green, trying to avoid bugs and keep him from joining his brother, Lunalesca.

With any luck, it will be a long time. “And love is a long, long road.” I expected Braxton would have silver fur when his time came. First, second, third, the “Love of My Life.”

Will that be playing when I’m with Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime? I don’t know, but she’s shared how she wants to “make love.” “Come Together,” right now. Over me. If I survive FEAR. FEAR ME, B, V

1623 Days Without B III, Day 1064 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 010 ~Braxton’s Reading Level V~

I’m not one of these book-burning, MAGA, “Cracker Hats.” Thank Cherry for that one. Anyway, how many books have I read that were appropriate for my furry boys? And if they knew how I spoke to their potential stepmom. “Braxton’s Reading Level V.”

Friday, July 11, 2025

Journey 010 ~Braxton’s Reading Level V~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Do I look like a teacher? I intend to teach my boys’ stepmom, M Anime, something…

Don’t I mean Braxton and Virgil’s “potential” or “future” stepmom? And what will I be teaching her? Something like Moving In: A Slice of Life Contemporary Romance (The House Husband’s Harem Book 1), which I finished reading this morning. Seriously?

There’s also my writing. I keep thinking of Braxton’s novel “My Turn To B III.” That’s what I should be working on right this second. But I was in a rush to talk to you… In some sick sort of way, in this “Sick, Sad World,” I should get my firstborn out of my head.

I’ll tell you why. Maybe the world is catching up with ways to hurt me. Always and forever losing Braxton will be my greatest FEAR and pain. But there’s more.

I had a dream last night that somebody robbed me “69” times. Am I joking? I’ve mentioned all the technical troubles I’ve been having lately. And even if I wasn’t, does it look like I have any money? Do I have anything of value? TIME! When did I wake up?

Sophia, I should be reading about why I don’t want to wake up. Instead, there will be more Yabbos or another book about dead fur buddies. I couldn’t decide after I finished Dirk Knight’s book. And again I look to my work, which should be done on the 25th… Please!

I’m busy counting out jelly beans for the day. I’m measuring Virgil’s food. And when’s the last time I had Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner, Sophia?

I’d rather be “eating” M Anime” anyway. I know, Sophia, Eww. Not her, but the idea that talking about our desires is somehow wrong. Should we talk about my dead dog some more? Yes, I can speak about B III forever. And anytime I talk about my disgust or demise…

So “Let’s Talk About Sex,” baby. For example, it’s sort of an old “joke,” but if you say you’re giving a girl a creampie, you’re wrong. But if you say, we’re trying for a baby, people will celebrate. M Anime and I have discussed a bit. Condoms, IUD, uh, protection?

“Protection
For gangs, clubs, and nations
Causing grief in human relations
It’s a turf war on a global scale
I’d rather hear both sides of the tale”
Black Or White

I won’t read any of that with her. But the words “I Love You.” If I could ever read that myself. Braxton’s Reading Level V

1622 Days Without B III, Day 1063 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 008 ~Forget Those B’s, Virgil~

Workin’ for the man ev’ry night and day. I should follow M Anime’s example. Hell, I should follow my son B’s. How about if I “Finish The Story.” No. I’m more like Virgil. Sit down, shut up, and shake as someone else saves me. Forget Those B’s, Virgil

Wednesday, July 9, 2025

Journey 008 ~Forget Those B’s, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… How? FEAR woke me up this morning instead of Braxton’s furry little butt. That and Cherry’s Yabbos. Not!

“I don’t like it here. I’m tired of being afraid all the time. I’ve decided not to stay.”
Brooks Hatlen

“Terrible thing, to live in fear. Brooks Hatlen knew it. Knew it all too well. All I want is to be back where things make sense. Where I won’t have to be afraid all the time. Only one thing stops me. A promise I made to (Braxton).”
The Shawshank Redemption

I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
The Shawshank Redemption

I should stop wishing to see those great big mountains of hers. Or that I could say “I been to mushroom mountain. Once or twice, but who’s countin’?” “Only God Knows Why.” I can’t afford those blue and yellow “Purple Pills.” A drug habit, dearest Inspector. Virgil needs drugs more than I do. Now that is a lie. But it didn’t stop me from putting his meds in macaroni and cheese. I don’t ever want to feel like I did that day. I mean Tuesday?

Inspector, if you’re keeping score, that’s a Gokusen reference, D12, Kid Rock, and “Under the Bridge” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Anything right, to forget about how I failed Braxton and I’m failing his little brother Virgil. Tick City!

Yeah, who gives an eff about the bees when I’m pulling two or three ticks off of Virgil, Inspector. Not removing, washing, or combing. I went medieval on those buggy effs. But my brave little Virgil took it like a G. If it had been Braxton, I would have lost a few fingers. Hell, a whole hand. But what choice was there? Veterinarian’s trip, Inspector.

Didn’t I say I woke up to FEAR? If it wasn’t Fido… I mean Virgil. It’s my finances. We’re not going to make it, are we? I swear I got another spam email about some app. And I “dreamed” I got something from the bank. Cherry needs some bucks, euros, quid, whatever. And Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime…

She’s “Workin’ for the man ev’ry night and day.” Why? Because she wants to come and see me… Her man? And I wish I could break out into Zapp & Roger’s “I Want to Be Your Man.” How? Yesterday, I was trying to save Virgil from the creepy crawlers, and I didn’t have money to get him a tick bath. I was thinking I’d have to buy every tick removal tool I could find. But didn’t I buy M Anime a (sexy) wardrobe? Because Inspector…

Seriously, “All I wanted was to see her naked!” And I have. And if Cherry showed me her Yabbos. I bet I wouldn’t be so broke. I am, I’m scared. And having M Anime in bed. Forget Those B’s, Virgil

1620 Days Without B III, Day 1061 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 006 ~Pancakes To B Feared~

Last week, I wanted a burger. Today, I want pancakes. Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom can cook. I microwave. But I’ve been so afraid I can barely eat, and V? Like father, like son. B, my little Pancake, is brave. Pancakes to B Feared

Monday, July 7, 2025

Journey 006 ~Pancakes To B Feared~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… What? Huh? Pancakes? Who said somethin’ bout pancakes, b*tch. You cookin’? Pancakes? Yes, I know, Dad. “Language, young man!”

Young? Daddy, I was fifteen. And I’m sorry I couldn’t give you twenty. “Look, you wake up one day, and your legs, they just give.” Oh, I’m Michael De Santa now? You know me, Dad. Food. Forgetful? Not even with my age. And FEAR! The three pillars of your life…

At least these days. And I’m proud that you decided to read about food this morning… Pancakes, to be specific. Do you really need to read more about fallen fur children? I’m your child, your son, the same as my little brother Virgil. Think of me sitting in your lap right now as you stroke my head, and you tell me about my nickname. Pancake.

That was always one of my favorites. And yours, too.

Comedy comes in threes. When I was a puppy, you took me walking for the first time, and you said I was getting stronger. I was strong enough to jump on the bed and eat a plateful of waffles. The sausage? I swear, Daddy, the thing you humans eat sometimes. But the next morning, you had pancakes, and you placed them high so I couldn’t reach. And Grandma said, “You must love pancakes.” And then you’d tell me, “I love you like pancakes, but…” Then would come some WARNING. “Son, FEAR is the heart of love.” Dad, when we would watch The Walking Dead, you would say this. You remember:

“When you were, uh, pouring the Bisquick, were you trying to make pancakes?”
Abraham Ford

You said I couldn’t be more your son if you had made me yourself, Daddy.

Uh, what you showed me and V’s potential stepmom, M Anime, from Sunday. Um Eww.

You know, I walked up and down those stairs. And so does Virgil. Anyway, the third reason I got my name is because I would sit on your head, and you knew it was morning. I would curl up into your lap, and you would say I was just one warm pancake. Safe and Happy.

It looks like I’m still doing my job. I know you feel far from Safe and Happy. Daddy, you’re never happy. And yesterday was very hard for you. Talk about FEAR. You had to watch Freddy Krueger to calm down. My Daddy’s “Sicker, Faster, Bigger, Badder.” Virgil knows. M Anime. Me. Pancakes To B Feared

“Higher Further Faster”
Captain Marvel

“Call up your courage again. Dismiss your grief and fear. A joy it will be one day, perhaps, to remember even this.”
― The Aeneid

1618 Days Without B III, Day 1059 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son