Journey 197 ~Codename B, 002 V~

Secret Agent Man, when really all I want to do is put my head under the covers and hide for… eternity? But Braxton beat me to it nearly five years ago. On the 31st. So what has me wanting to hide today? Trump, trouble, and twins. “Codename B, 002 V.”

Wednesday, January 14, 2026

Journey 197 ~Codename B, 002 V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… But I have vomited… Yet. I’ve been very, very STUPID. I’ve seen a woman’s well, several women’s vagains.

Now that was awesome. And I wish I could say “Everything Is Awesome.” But Inspector?

I haven’t vomited yet. And I’m feeling quite sick. It’s of my own doing, of course. Hell, saying “of course” makes me sicker. I mentioned I finished reading Braxton’s novel…

And that makes me feel STUPID? My Dear Inspector Echo, you can take your pick.

Another day at the Day Job, perhaps. Only today did I realize MAGA Cracker Hats surround me. And yet I’m still the Village Idiot when it comes to those people. You can take what I did while sitting here a few minutes ago. That didn’t help me at all, Echo. Getting “Down With The Sickness?” And this is yet one more day Braxton is gone.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

January is going to be one mother effing month, Inspector. If I survive today, tomorrow…

Hell, if I get to the 18th… Braxton knows what MAGA will do on Monday. And I’ll never mention M Anime again after the 24th. The 5-month breakup Anniversary, Inspector.

Honestly, how do I fix my mouth to lie like that? Or my fingers to type out such and such.

“Anxiety, keep on trying me
I feel it quietly, tryna silence me.”
Anxiety ‧ Doechii

“It’s not over
Because a part of me is dead and in the ground
This love is killing me, but you’re the only one.”
Daughtry

Anxiety is killing me right now, but ok, let’s say I make it to the 25th, what comes next, hmm? The end of the month? The day I committed the greatest crime. My Braxton died.

And not a day goes by that I wish I hadn’t joined him. You want a song, my Dear Echo.

He Lives In You. Always.

And that is what makes me ashamed of the things I do. Braxton was/is the Pete McVries to my Ray Garraty. And for once, I am talking about the movie over the book. Braxton reminds me a bit of my “big sister.” She told me, “You can’t build a strip club next to a school or something to that effect. Quite true. But honestly, I’m like “The Running Man.”

Inspector, I’m not escaping, I can’t get away. There “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked.”

Inspector? Who I am and who I want to be is the distance between a woman’s Yabbos. Seriously, on a good day, it’s from her mouth, to her yabbos, to her… I should stop. Echo. Eww. Codename B, 002 V

1809 Days Without B III, Day 1250 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 195 ~That’ll B Hue, Virgil~

The Rainbow Connection? How about the theme for Mario Kart’s Rainbow Road? There are no “Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows” at the Day Job. THEY do everything to make that place worse. The place that ki… took my son. But, “That’ll B Hue, Virgil”

Monday, January 12, 2026

Journey 195 ~That’ll B Hue, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… I know better than to ask, “Did you have a good day. Another Day? No Day But Today?

Alive? That’s the last thing you want to be, my father. It’s like talking to MAGA. You ask whether Biden won. THEY say Biden was president. Someone asks, “Are you okay? Are you alive?” What do you answer? You’d rather be with me. And am I not alive? I’m here, right now, as always, Dad. I’m sitting at the corner of your bed on a sad Monday afternoon, guarding the door. In case you were wondering why my little brother Virgil is sleeping dead center, ha-ha. He knows his place. But where are you, Dad? Really. One foot in the grave, your eyes on the rainbow, and your ass to the fire. Language, I know, I know. But your tears, Dad. As clear as then…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

The day. The only day that matters to you… Well, not really? Not this year anyway. If anything, I have M Anime to take a bit of the heat off—bad choice of barks. But you know, if you were going through Hell, I would be right there with you. And I am Daddy? Yes.

The day I finally saw all the colors of the rainbow is the day you saw black, white, and gray. The “Colors of the Wind.” I saw you through the evils of MAGA the first time around, and now you have Virgil. And you’ll always have me. Well, not yesterday. Augmenting reality? That video? The first time I got an actual funeral. Didn’t like it.

Daddy, sure, The Rainbow Bridge.

But it’s you, today. Some days, all you see is red. There is far too much orange in the world, you tell me. You wish you weren’t so yellow. You feel a lot of green and worry about it when it comes to you and Virgil. You’re constantly blue. But not enough to fly away. And for that, I’m grateful. And Indigo, Violet. Unless you’re thinking about the game on the glow box “Indigo Prophecy,” or either of the Violets that would have you kicking me out of the room for a while. No, our royal colors are tan, beige, and black. Dad, that brings me to my point today. Whatever color… We truly see each other, always and forever. See! That’ll B Hue, Virgil

“As fast as Braxton could run, he couldn’t outrun time; as high as he could jump, it only brought him closer to Heaven. B was on the way up.”
― My Turn To B III: Love, Guilt, and Silent Loss

“Do you not see what great a weight of darkness the blind night of the body sheds on minds?”
Aeneid

1807 Days Without B III, Day 1248 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 193 ~Braxton’s Off Days Virgil~

I spent a Friday night crying about a Saturday afternoon because, unfortunately for me, it will lead to a Sunday Morning. We aren’t close to Easter. Even if we were, I’m not a Christian, just lazy accountable. Now my son… “Braxton’s Off Days Virgil.”

Saturday, January 10, 2026

Journey 193 ~Braxton’s Off Days Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… How? Did I create some all-powerful energy shot? Hell, can we agree on no more “five-hours?”

All I know is I was exhausted yesterday. And don’t forget starving. Then the rain.

Honestly, that’s the only reason I didn’t stop at the food truck. Don’t they sell burgers as well? Braxton would love them being so close by. Anyway, I had to support a billion-dollar corporation, so McDonald’s it is. An hour or so later, I’m conked out, only to have to read about how I failed my son, I miss wrestling, and the storm won’t let up a tiny bit, Lunalesca. Virgil’s been inside forever… But before that, he crapped outside the bedroom. So he’s been in time-out. And speaking of time-out, after taking a shower.

Seriously! That’s me in the corner. That’s me in the spotlight. Losing my religion,” Luna.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Yesterday was my first breakdown day of the new year. A Friday? Sunday is always the worst when it comes to the week. One exception is The Walking Dead… Maybe.

However, the worst months of the year are January, August, and September. Why is that?

January is when Braxton died. And in this particular January, M Anime (My Ex) is getting married, if she isn’t already. And on the 24th, will I ever speak of her ever again? I don’t know, but in the words of Teen Idle, “Oh God, I’m gonna die alone.” SIGH

Lunalesca, I’m not sure when I met M Anime, but she left Sunday, August 24, 2025. And I started ruining Virgil’s life on Saturday, August 13, 2022. And then September…

“Wake Me Up When September Ends…” So cut to me being Forty-One (cue Ben-Hur galley drums). Lying on the floor in a bath towel, feeling like Tommy Pickles bottle less.

And that was a Friday night. Was it Braxton, that burger, or some Bourica’s yabbos?

Braxton was my rock or “The Rock” because “It Doesn’t Matter!” That’s his barking, Lu.

Mr. No Days Off. Any “I watch my youngest son, and it helps to pass the time.” That would be Braxton’s little brother, Virgil. He’s been pacing forever and a day waiting for the rain to end. And what about the pain? Why do I relate to The Long Walk, The Running Man, The Mill, etc.? No days off. Live? Die? Braxton’s Off Days Virgil

1805 Days Without B III, Day 1246 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 192 ~Book B, Verse V~

I got eyes, I can see, for now… And who really wants to see and read how hateful MAGA has been? Read this, Eff ICE! Eff MAGA! And FDT! And may Renee Nicole Good rest in peace. And what about my son’s book, 1984, and Big Uns? Book B, Verse V

Friday, January 9, 2026

Journey 192 ~Book B, Verse V~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… But no book review? Braxton’s book makes me cry. And not in a Bestseller kinda way.

And besides, my reading list today has comprised of bills, battles in Whiteout Survival, and “Beef. It’s What For Dinner.” That takes me back. Way before the births of my boys, Braxton and Virgil. Back when I could tell my Ma, “Someone made a mistake” with my existence. Now it’s “Someone made a BIG goddamn mistake!” Same with effing MAGA.

Have you heard about that woman ICE killed, Renee Nicole Good? Eff ICE! Eff MAGA! And always and forever, FDT! That’s not what that’s supposed to be used for… Seriously.

But should I tell you more of my “life” story? Or what about Braxton’s? Seeing that it’s January, you know his picture has been popping up everywhere. The Magic Glasses?

Lady Sophia, my search bar…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

What? Am I talking about that thing dangling between my legs? Seriously, my Lady. Ew!

But I don’t want to talk about that either. My “Enormous P” as the song goes. What I should be talking about are phrases like, “as the song goes,” “of course,” “honestly,” “seriously,” and Braxton help me, the constant pop culture from movies, music, and manuscripts. It’s as if I don’t have a thought of my own. But what is there to think about, talk about, or touch? Well, besides my obsession with some tits. Crass much? Yabbos is nicer.

First week and it’s been Maggie\Lauren Cohen’s, then my Ex’s, a brunette’s, and now Jane’s from See Jane Go TV. The things I’ve written about those things. It’s not nice.

However, the world is not nice. And if I can slog through “My Turn To B III,” My poor B.

What should I read next? A grocery list because there is no food in the house. A biscuit, perhaps. And ain’t nobody got time for MAGA’s BS when people are simply trying to eat most days. No wonder my stomach hurts. I should buy a cookbook. Cooking can be hard.

Such a bold statement… It beats singing “Pre-Cooked Taco Meat” to the song “Rasputin.”

Is that an original thought? An idiotic one? I need more books, but as Rasputin surmised:

‘I only make decisions when my stomach is full, or my balls are empty.”
Rasputin “The King’s Man” (Rhys Ifans)

I know, but wrestling is on tonight, and before that. The life of Braxton. Because I promise my story sucks more. Book B, Verse V

1804 Days Without B III, Day 1245 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 190 ~Virgil The Red, Braxton~

I don’t have to go outside to face humiliation. I can do all that and more from the comfort of “home.” Bed? Then why don’t I ever feel rested? There “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked,” or cowardly. How about the broke? To pillage? Virgil The Red, Braxton

Wednesday, January 7, 2026

Journey 190 ~Virgil The Red, Braxton~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… But not name-wise. I mean, the title sounds a bit Viking-ish. But I don’t call V, B… often.

And whatever does that mean exactly? I don’t call Virgil, Braxton. Braxton is gone, Echo.

But sometime today, I have to ask for time off so I can grieve for my son. Grieve indeed, yeah right, Echo. The 31st falls on a Saturday, so why even bother? For simplicity’s sake:

  1. I only recreate the day to the best of my ability. Barbecue, crying, etc.
  2. I’ll never face ACCEPTANCE
  3. This will be the fifth year of Braxton’s passing.

So, five years since I wrote Braxton’s book, “My Turn To B III.” Talk about humiliation, Inspector Echo. I’ve been reading my “work,” and I can see why it ain’t selling. Hell, Virgil is probably thinking, if that’s how he’ll be remembered. Then choose immortality.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Because Echo, his face would be red to be read like that. Pet Loss, Erotica, Haremlit, and my bank account. But worse of all would be my search history. I’m an evil man, dear Echo.

Smooth Criminal, I am not. If only I had the Magic Glasses, which, according to Goodreads, was my longest book of the year at 517 pages. 8,829 pages read in 52 books. I expected I’d do better. And they can’t all be “Seven Days In June” by Tia Williams, ha.

But anyway, my search history… Where do I begin? Did you see the cover of Journey 189 ~ That’ll B WHITE Virgil~? What if I told you it was supposed to be so much worse? BJ?

But I turned red regardless.

How could I tell? “First, let me explain that I’m just a black man…” And not a member of Bone Thugs-n-Harmony. Anyway, besides that cover, before I forget, “Of course.” I was reading B’s book yesterday. And noticed how many times I used the word “Of course” on one page. Like Robin Scherbatsky saying the phrase “But, Um.” Ok, so I told Dear Future Wife about a fantasy I had from TWD, and I was able to manifest, manipulate, augment…

Everyone needs to STOP! Hell, why not hand the planet over to machines and computers?

“I got bills to pay. I got mouths to feed.” And that brings on a whole other red alert, Echo.

RAGE. Virus? Savage? Fight For NY? Virgil The Red, Braxton

1802 Days Without B III, Day 1243 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 188 ~Color Me Braxton, Virgil~

Red light? Yellow? Green? Road or bedroom? I prefer Meat Loaf. I will do anything for love but… B III would be pissed sleeping in his own room. Once? Forever. If you could only see the way she loves me. V won’t meet HER. Color Me Braxton, Virgil

Monday, January 5, 2026

Journey 188 ~Color Me Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Don’t you recognize me? My brown, beige, but you tell the Glow Boxes tan sometimes—the color of Braxton.

And when did I start speaking in third person? The moment when I saw black, faded to it, became molded by it. No, I’m not talking about you, Dad. And I didn’t mean to sound like Bane either. And haven’t I always seen black, white, and gray? But this black…

Honestly, don’t go crying on me, Daddy. You can’t help it? You were even listening to sad songs at “The Bad Place.” Was it me, you, or that lady you call M Anime? Anyway Daddy.

You’ve been thinking about her a lot. Mostly red, yellow, and green. And Meatloaf Dad. You didn’t like the food. But the music. And I enjoyed both. But the color black, Daddy. It is your favorite, and I saw it…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I mean, I REALLY saw it before my world burst into color. Maybe it is me, since you’re still crying imagining the Rainbow Bridge. Or is it the Rainbow Road from Mario Kart, my father? I remember sitting on your lap as you played. It was better than car rides.

Seriously, though, those weren’t the red, yellow, and green lights you’ve been thinking about when it comes to M Anime… Eww! But if she could make you… No, not Happy.

Believe it or not, I was Happy in my life. “Believe It or Not,” I’m walking on air. I know. Dad, I am my father’s son when it comes to music. But today I know you hear me, but I need you to see, Daddy.

Like the dream you had a few nights ago. “Dark Angel?” That show was WAY before my time. Only you dreamt you were trapped somewhere, drowning, and through the barred window, you saw the Transgenics Flag flying—the black, red, and white with a dove at the center from the show. And you’re trying to SEE what it meant. Darkness, Rage, and Light. Or Rest, Love, and Ladies… Um eww! You know me, Dad, the best breast, legs, and thighs come in a bucket/box of chicken. Or maybe it’s running from the blackness, “The Running Man,” and don’t humans wear white for weddings… You’re permitting me to bark at ONE of your former girlfriends. Huh! If she could see… If you… Color Me Braxton, Virgil.

“I want to know what life was like once.”
― Backyard Dungeon 20 by Logan Jacobs

“Here are tears for things, and mortal sorrows touch the mind.”
― The Aeneid

1800 Days Without B III, Day 1241 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 186 ~The B Times Virgil~

What woke me up? I wish I could say it wasn’t Whiteout Survival. And while I was waiting for that ass whuppin, I looked at some Yabbos. As the song goes, “Feels like the First Time.” Almost “Like A Virgin.” That would be my Ex. But The B Times Virgil

Saturday, January 3, 2026

Journey 186 ~The B Times Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… So I don’t read the news. I make the news. A regular “Bruce Almighty” over here.

And what was with that New York accent? Am I still sad that I missed the ball drop, Lu? I’m upset that my boy is still gone. And I need to remember to take some time off for B III.

Hell, why not the whole week, considering my ex-girlfriend is getting married on the 24th… I don’t know that. M Anime could be married right now, but our five-month breakup?

I should be really damn upset that I wasted the morning on Whiteout Survival. Yes, Lady Lunalesca, Virgil, and Braxton have had their walk. It’s still macabre and effing weird to say that about Braxton. Walking around with his ashes like the priests of old.

Speaking of priests, I haven’t jerked off this year… Yet…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Ain’t nobody got time for that sh*t in these streets. And Ain’t Nobody loves me better. I thought M Anime would… Biblically, ha! And I have to remind myself that it’s Virgil sleeping against my foot and not Braxton. Once again, it’s creepy I’m reading about dead fur buddies while he naps on me. And in this case, it’s my dead furry son. I’m reading about Lunalesca. But I hate him being gone more than I hate reading about it, so that’s saying something. Like, what time is it? It’s time for me to go forging. No, that was yesterday. But I was full of BS writing to Lady Sophia, the sky was filled with rain, and Virgil finds FEAR like me. Effing everywhere eek.

Like Chronomentrophobia. This very second, all I’m doing is wasting time. No, not like that, Lady Lunalesca. Have you ever seen the movie “The Little Death”? I haven’t either, Lunalesca. But that title sums up my B. But anyway, Lu, there’s this monologue that goes:

“Because she’s softer than you. She’s quieter than you. She doesn’t yell at me. She doesn’t call me an idiot or tell me to shut up all the time. She listens to me. She’s nice to me. She doesn’t make me feel like the only thing stopping her from being happy… is me.”
― Phil

I want you to focus on the quieter. That’s what’s getting to me at the start of the new year. There’s no news of a new me. It’s all effing NOISE! Why do you think I do everything to drown it out? How many times have I listened to Succubus Lord or Satan’s Sorority Girls?

M Anime’s ruffled wedding dress, Virgil’s whining, and me being worrisome. And I’m supposed to care about the world. FDT! But… The B Times Virgil

“War. War never changes.”
Fallout

1798 Days Without B III, Day 1239 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 185 ~B’s Bad Books Virgil~

First copy of my book sold… Multiple personalities, but one Amazon account. Am I going to write a review for myself? I like my blog. Daily… But my first review of the year, first song, first thoughts… my two boys and M’s boobs. “B’s Bad Books Virgil”

Friday, January 2, 2026

Journey 185 ~B’s Bad Books Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Or how about a book review? That’s as uncommon as good news in this world, ha!

Or maybe, “Huh, America, (America).” But I’m not planning to open a restaurant in “Santa Fe” anytime soon. Hell, I’m still crying about M Anime! I’m all, “And I remember the time when you left for Santa Monica. And I remember the day you told me it’s over.” Santa Monica? Theory of a Deadman? I don’t write like the band, but that’s how my words come across. How dare I give myself so much credit, Lady Sophia? But my writing…

Yeah, my writing. I sold a book yesterday. And I decided on my first book of the year. My Turn To B III: Love, Guilt, and Silent Loss, written by yours truly. What the Eff!

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Honestly, have I no shame? No, I have books like:

Vixen Eyes Naughty Saint Nick
Something fun to do at Christmas. Or rather, someone fun to do. But this is a book review, so sticking with the former Naughty Saint Nick by Lexi Davis is just that, a naughty diversion. A quick little love story with some stalker vibes and, of course, the happy ending. And the cute way they met with a modern aesthetic. But aside from the erotica, my favorite part of the book was the little warning the author included. I suppose because of the BDSM aspect… But it’s relatively tame. I should have gotten copies for a few friends since it was a fun read. Not a doubt in my mind about the four stars. However, Amber/Vixen would give it more.

So, my first book review of the year. What’d you think, My Lady? Good. I swear, reading the good news is getting as bad as the bad news. A model made a million on her yabbos, and I haven’t sold a book in five months. M Anime is getting married this month, and I haven’t gotten laid in… Whatever! Magic Glasses? Marriages, Maternity, and Money.

Sigh! What do I get out of this second day of the new year? Mad, My Lady. I get Mad.

Effing angry at everything and nothing at all. I don’t even want to read my book, or is it all pet loss in general? Then there’s women’s mammaries. And effing MAGA. “I See Fire,” My Lady. B’s Bad Books Virgil

1797 Days Without B III, Day 1238 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 183 ~2026, Virgil, Will B~

Happy New Year! Fifteen years wasn’t enough, and forty-one years have been far too much. And here I am, well, Virgil and I facing 2026 in a few hours. I’m not happy. And I’m not afraid… Well, any more than usual. So what’s next? 2026, Virgil, Will B.

Wednesday, December 31, 2025

Journey 183 ~2026, Virgil, Will B~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And I’m not talking about being back on the energy shots and getting lunch at the food truck.

I swear, Inspector, that place is getting worse and worse. Speaking of which, there’s 2026.

Happy New Year! Happy Effing New Year, Inspector. There’s a few hours until, It’s Time!

Effing Mariah Carey! Yes, I’m effing horny! How else would I spend this last day?

Humiliations Galore! Okay, “got me feelin’ like a prisoner. Like a stranger in a no named town.” “No Easy Way Out,” of this this year, yon mortal coil, or the yearning to be with my loves, Braxton, M Anime, hell, the man in the effing mirror. But wait, some Inspector.

So I didn’t shower, but I still went to the Day Job. Eww! There was humiliation and boredom. I walked Virgil and had lunch. I tried not to jerk off.

“Fill my lungs with fear, and I EXHALE!”
It’s My Turn To Fly, The Urge

It’s getting harder… Again, Eww! With MAGA and the Cracker Hats, it’s incredible we aren’t all criminal masterminds. FDT! But I have a particular set of skills. Or rather, I’m learning the tips of the trade. The Augmentation of Reality. The Magic Effing Glasses, E.

But you won’t catch me with a pair of 2016 shades. Today I was seeing M Anime’s wedding. She said she was planning her nuptials for January. I remember the end, Echo…

Sunday, January 31, 2021. My boy passed. My Braxton? Another sin, Inspector? Tears?

There’ve been a few, but that was out of boredom. If anything, I don’t need a drink as I feel I’m going to throw up anyway. Damn energy shot. Or should I blame the shrimp?

How’s that for a New Year’s resolution? Or more books. I only read fifty, Inspector.

According to Goodreads, Kindle, the algorithm, whatever. Inspector! Shame correct? First, M Anime’s naughty effing fantasies didn’t count and got mixed with the list. Sigh…

So two more books before midnight? But how about twelve wishes? The ritual? Dear Echo.

If pressed here and now… I can’t bring Braxton back. And Virgil can’t be him. M Anime isn’t coming back. I could finally be discovered. I can study up on “technology.” I could join Braxton any day. Uh, that’s not good. I could find someone better than M Anime. Uh Ravishment/Sadism Fantasies… Not effing likely! That’s only six. I expect more from 2026… Happy New Year! 2026, Virgil, Will B

1795 Days Without B III, Day 1236 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 181 ~Y Braxton, Why Virgil~

Why, when Every Day Is Exactly The Same? The new year starts on Thursday. MAGA celebrates effing the country on the 6th and 20th. I’ll assume M Anime will be married on the 24th, five months after her/our breakup. B left Jan 31. Y Braxton, Why Virgil

Monday, December 29, 2025

Journey 181 ~Y Braxton, Why Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And the question isn’t why am I here. But why are you here, my father? Head full of questions.

Why are you still on “The Long Walk”? Why are you still “The Running Man”? But to be honest, I’m starting to feel a bit like Ee’char to your Chief O’Brien… DS9, Episode 4×19 “Hard Time.” What? I am my father’s son. Humans are weird. But still, you’re my Dad.

Always and forever, that’s why. You can remember Star Trek episodes. You can remember the year, the week, and the day that I… Had a change of venue. Plus, you’re not a movie director… Yet. Whatever happened to “28 Months Later”? Anyway, speaking of directing, that’s what you were thinking about all day at “The Bad Place.” You haven’t even had our customary nap. But you did take Virgil for his walk. To be young…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Which I am, by the way. Or am I older? Anything where I’m not… Not there with you, my father, at “The Closing of the Year.” And you wonder why you stay every single day.

Besides my sleepy little brother, that is. You have to see your dreams… our dreams come true. On that list you found on Saturday, I was number four. And everything else was to build a home for us, a world, and an entire universe. And that I found was being at your side every day. But what about Virgil? He’s been with you, going on four long years. And you and he continue to ask why. Who, what, when, where, and how, too. But why?

Love, loneliness, the last, lately

The belief that “maybe, you’re gonna be the one that saves me.” Are you talking to M Anime, Virgil, or even me? Why not you, Dad? That’s what scares you. Well, one of the many things that scares you. The belief that you couldn’t save me. That you made a big, beautiful mistake when you rescued Virgil. Isn’t it ironic? You left me in the back on Sunday, January 31, 2021, and on Saturday, August 13, 2022, you were springing Virgil from his cage. You’re thinking that this fear of asking yourself why you are still here is why M Anime no longer is. She left. Why? You stay. Why? Virgil? Why? I won’t say this year. But why not answer? Y Braxton, Why Virgil

“I don’t want Braxton to think he wasn’t worth staying for.”
― Naughty Saint Nick: A Spicy Holiday
Lexi Davis

“Fly, son of a goddess, and tear yourself away from these flames.”
― The Aeneid

1793 Days Without B III, Day 1234 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son