Journey 027 ~Time Travel B Where~

There’s no time. If I could go back to the moment I heard Braxton cry, I’d rush him to the vet. Like when he stepped on a pinecone or something… And now I have time to pick bugs off his brother or stare at his stepmom’s yabbos. Time Travel B Where.

Monday, July 28, 2025

Journey 027 ~Time Travel B Where~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And I didn’t have to sit on your head for once. But I’m always on your mind. Right, Dad?

Bedtime, book time, even boob time. Speaking of which, how’s my Favorite Girl? You’ve been talking to Cherry a lot. And what about ‘your’ Favorite Girl, my and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime. I’m starting to understand why you shut me out of certain things, Dad. As you told me all the time, “I love you like pancakes.” But I under no circumstances want to see you pouring the Bisquick to make pancakes… Me and Virgil’s, two-legged siblings. There’s no time for that, you’d say with my Favorite Girl around.

Honestly, where does the time go? That was one of my many questions on Sunday, January 31, 2021. It’s time to go home. But this doesn’t look like home. Somewhere I can only watch from.

And there’s always time to watch you. There’s always time to do something. Like love?

In our memories of the past. In our dreams of the future. But Dad, as you would say, “I’m here.” “Here and Now” “We Found Love,” in a hopeless place. I found it in you.

We’re still, and we will always and forever be father and son. And like father, like son, we’re running together. Me to one side of the Rainbow Bridge. And you into the grave, my father. Meet me in the middle? Where would that be? There’s a reason I was Neo.

He is trapped in a place between this world and the machine world. All I can do is tell you that your friend needs your help. He needs all our help.
― The Matrix Revolutions

How long did that last before my Grandma gave me the name Braxton? That’s me.

Timeless, right. What time is it? Time to save Virgil?

It was only a bug. A tick that you had to pull off of him this morning. Dear little brother…

“It started out with a kiss. How did it end up like this? It was only a kiss; it was only a kiss.” You’re thinking of giving me and Virgil two-legged brothers and sisters. If you live long enough to see M Anime this Winter. Live long enough? Love, Dad. The instruction and the rule.

If anything, the time has come for you to love. Fear, failure, not finishing… Eww. If you replaced all those times learning how to love yourself. You owe me at least sixteen years of that. 2021-2025 don’t count. The past, the future. Time Travel To Love. Time Travel B Where

“Loving each other with enough ferocity to quell the fears of the past. Just fucking being there.”
― Seven Days in June by Tia Williams

“A shifty, fickle object is woman, always.”
Virgil, The Aeneid

1639 Days Without B III, Day 1080 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 025 ~B Trade With Virgil~

Ants have high hopes, right? Or all bugs. I saw one carrying something white, an egg or something, but it was a piece of the house… I check Virgil for bugs that might bring him down. Trading our lives for theirs? B Trade With Virgil.

Saturday, July 26, 2025

Journey 025 ~B Trade With Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Every day that becomes an even bigger lie. I might as well be a Cracker Hat.

A sell-out, a sucker, a slave to MAGA. FDT! I don’t want to talk about him today. But “Here I Am!” What the EFF does that even mean other than the fact I want to be Bryan Adams? What does it mean when my dog, death, or my dame… Dame? Do I mean Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime? “Someday,” she’ll “Find Me,” Luna.

But will I still be here? No money, masonry skill, and being “Manly.” I’m only that in the bedroom or wherever M Anime and I decide to Marvin Gaye and get it on, dear Lunalesca.

That comes later if I can stop quoting music. And what about crying over Braxton?

Lunalesca, I’ve cried today because learning any type of trade…

It’s just so hard. I should stop thinking about Cherry’s yabbos as well. What M Anime isn’t my girl… yet. And Cherry doesn’t want me. However, I’ve been talking to her a lot over the past few days. She’s been betrayed. Is that too much Lunalesca? She was possibly robbed, maybe. You know how I feel about the tech world. I shed a few tears about that last night in bed. “Be Not So Fearful.” If I were a Jack of all Trades and wasn’t surrounded by traitors, Lunalesca. Yes, Eff MAGA, Eff the Cracker Hats, and FDT! But what am I going to do?

Offer her money for her Yabbos? I am so broke yet buying more books. And never forget, I betrayed Braxton.

I couldn’t save my firstborn son. And as far as my second-born son, Virgil. Braxton’s little brother is bug-free. And what about the rest of the house? I need to clean up Lunalesca. Prison, tomb…

Why? August 13th is Virgil’s “Gotcha Day.” I don’t want to remember “September.” And now I see that “The Long Walk” is coming out on September 12th. Should I survive that effing month, “Wake Me Up When September Ends,” I’ll be “Gone Till November.” Will M Anime be here by then? Or sometime at “The Closing Of The Year.” I’m trading my time right now for what? The man I am for a man I could be. Not crying for Braxton and being in M Anime’s panties. Loving, Living, I’m here B Trade With Virgil.

1637 Days Without B III, Day 1078 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 024 ~Virgil’s Lost Letters Braxton~

I finished “Pledged To Him 2,” everything except the previews. I read the words of my friends, who just happen to be girls. And what about my boys? Asleep. B forever. And V needs food to eat, not books to read. Virgil’s Lost Letters Braxton

Friday, July 25, 2025

Journey 024 ~Virgil’s Lost Letters Braxton~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Because Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, and I have been talking about lots of…

Things my boys don’t need to hear. Ha! My boys, my men, as I’m their Dad, “turning Bad Boys to grown men, it’s on again,” And while “Starin’ Through My Rear View” with my “Toy Soldiers…” Really, Sophia, Tupac, and Eminem? I’m trying to behave. And Gangsta sh*t beats talking about sex. Now that is a lie. But besides lies, what am I trying not to read these days? It’s Friday, July 25, 2025. Congratulations! Failing to publish B’s book.

Speaking of failure, I couldn’t keep IT in my pants this morning. Otherwise, I would have said some dirty stuff to Cherry. She and her Mum are going through “Hard Times” financially. They don’t need Paramore. Or me talking about them sans clothing. Book reviews:

“Wax On, Wax Off Pledge”
In this second installment of the Pledged To Him series, the stakes are a little less dire. And yet we continue with the Why so serious tone… I like it. While I’m not a hopelessly devoted fan of Neil Bimbeau, having only read the Princess Tamer: A LitRPG Harem Adventure series before reading Pledged To Him 2: An Unconventional Romance (His Sorority Harem Book Two). The guy knows how to make a great ‘climactic’ scene. SPOILER between Maria and Kiki. But there’s always the whisper of something bad coming. But not this series. As I mentioned about the first one, it is a bit darker, which some may prefer. This one had a different flavor. If my boys were readers…

Okay, so that’s one more review down. Do I want to read “Pledged To Him 3: An Unconventional Romance (His Sorority Harem Book Three)?” I don’t want to read that my account is empty because of another zero on my paycheck. Zero working hours, Sophia.

Seriously, what would M Anime say? “Don’t (come) on my face!” Yeah, M Anime and I are having those conversations. Hard Limits, Soft Limits. That would be a Soft Limit, or she says she’s conflicted. But not on “Vis-à-vis my progeny.” Two-legged kids, someday, huh?

Having children isn’t the plan… per se. But if it happens… I want to foster a love of reading in our children. But in the MAGA Cracker Hat world. I’m losing. Virgil’s Lost Letters Braxton

1636 Days Without B III, Day 1077 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 022 ~Time, Braxton. Sound-Off, Virgil~

Earwax is gross. But when B was here to bark, bite, and be the cutest thing, according to pretty, pretty girls. Then silence. The noises now. Tick-tock! My account is draining. My girl, I want to hear… come by. Time, Braxton. Sound-Off, Virgil

Wednesday, July 23, 2025

Journey 022 ~Time, Braxton. Sound-Off, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I remembered the sounds my Braxton made. If I had paid attention, Wednesday, January 27, 2021. Effing Indifference!

Question time. Which is worse, Ignorance or Indifference? This is what makes me ‘better’ than MAGA, those Cracker Hat Effs! Or so I tell myself. Caring for my fellow man…

Okay. “Now that is a lie.” But I love Braxton. And what happened to him Sunday, January 31, 2021… Euthanasia… Isn’t that water “Under The Bridge” as the Red Hot Chili Peppers sing, “I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.” But how do I feel today, Inspector?

There’s this movie “Sarafina!” And she begins to pray, “Make me numb, Nelson (Mandela), make me numb.” I could hear myself saying, ‘Don’t wake up,’ or ‘Just sleep,’ only I misspelled the word ‘die.’ And this morning it finally hit me. I miss Braxton’s noise.

Effing duh! I knew that the moment I walked into the house and all was silent. Hell, I should have called Braxton’s little brother Ghost instead of Virgil. He never makes a sound, even when I’m throwing him around, checking him for creepy crawlers, Inspector.

But back to my question. Ignorance or Indifference? That’s something Virgil has over his big brother. If I sense danger for Virgil, I don’t hesitate. It’s one of the reasons I’m still “Alive.” Thank you, Meat Loaf. Where would V be without me? But with B, it was “Just one more peaceful day.” Only it wasn’t. I wanted to sleep. I was ignorant of Braxton’s needs, Inspector. And indifferent because my rage would have destroyed us. And now B’s gone.

“Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away.
Just one more peaceful day

And it’s been a while
Since I could look at myself straight
And it’s been a while
Since I said I’m sorry.”
Staind (2001)

So while I was busy cursing the silence, I should have welcomed it. Because every effing noise scares me now. Is that why Virgil is quiet? Except for when I leave, the clack of his nails on the floor… What, Echo? I have no money for a Nail Trim. And if V was with B?

Do you see why I need music, manuscripts in audio form? Uh audiobooks. And the multitudes of reactors laughing at movies on YouTube. Please, I’m still mooning over @SeeJaneGoTV yabbos. “Yeah, hm. It’s like candy.” I wish Jane’s vanilla pastries made a CAMEO appearance. And what about Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, my M Anime. The noises she wants to make… Eff me! Ignorance is bliss. Time, Braxton. Sound-Off, Virgil.

1634 Days Without B III, Day 1075 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 020 ~On Braxton’s First Words~

I’m not reading about the latest crime that Trump and the Cracker Hats committed. I also didn’t necessarily cry thinking about my son. I read about a guy staring at his realtor’s Yabbos. I texted my potential girlfriend. But, on Braxton’s First Words

Monday, July 21, 2025

Journey 020 ~On Braxton’s First Words~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Some Dad, you are not recognizing your own son. Some Dad, you are not recognizing yourself. Some Dad, huh.

A Dad who made me proud to be his son. My man… Well, you probably want me and Virgil’s potential stepmom to call you that. My Old Man? Even now, your stomach is in knots thinking about whether Grandpa calls. But my Human. “Don’t put the blame on me,” Dad.

That the words are too few, too simple, and plain, and to us. There I go sounding like my could-be stepmom, M Anime. Any words spoken in love are never wasted. And your first words this morning… That’s what I want you to think about, Daddy. The first words and not the last. The last day you saw me was not my last words, now were they? We’re here now. And a dog once said:

“Be. Here. Now. That’s a dog’s purpose.”
A Dog’s Purpose

See, Daddy. I was sitting there with you yesterday as you worked on my “life” story a bit. “My Turn To B III.” And how I waited my turn this morning. You’ll deny it until Trump and the MAGA Cracker Hats are brought to justice, but you love yourself, Dad.

Reading something early in the morning that doesn’t involve putting me in the ground is a sign of care. Yes, instead it was one of those books you’d read to yourself because it wasn’t appropriate for me. “What’s My Age Again?” And thankfully, my little brother was asleep. How old is Virgil, late twenties, early thirties, at four years old? And yet, when you pick him up and check him for bugs. Daddy, you love my brother. Your second born.

So much so that after you read a little. You talked to Ms. M Anime, another one of those conversations on the little glow box. What, Dad, you remember my Favorite Girl and her yabbos. And now you have M Anime and her yabbos. I learned from the best father.

But you speak to her because you care. And even she told you not to worry about your first words when you see her. I don’t think my potential stepmom is coming only to talk.

For the record, Virgil will be upset. But if he and I get a stepmom. “Someday.” Two-legged siblings? Will you remember their first words? Will they want your last words? Both, I’d say. I love you. On Braxton’s First Words

“Humans were capable of so many amazing things, but too often they just sat making words, not doing anything.”
W. Bruce Cameron, A Dog’s Purpose

“Death twitches my ear; ‘Live,’ he says… ‘I’m coming.”
Virgil

1632 Days Without B III, Day 1073 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 018 ~B’s Breathless, Sorry V~

Stop and catch your breath. There’s the scent of my Braxton sitting on my head. There’s Virgil that has crept up. There’s the sweat from the Day Job… No, that’s FEAR. And is that M Anime’s perfume? Only in the Winter air. B’s Breathless, Sorry V

Saturday, July 19, 2025

Journey 018 ~B’s Breathless, Sorry V~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… But with the billionaires I know, a lobotomy is free. Only it shouldn’t be. Nothing is.

Eric Vall’s books aren’t. I spent most of last night reciting one in my head to get back to sleep, Lunalesca. And speaking of books, Backyard Dungeon 18, Pledged To Him 2, and Alas, Babylon… Both the book and the saying. And where the Eff did I get ten bucks!

Nowhere, Lady Lunalesca. As a matter of fact, I won’t be getting paid next week.

Lunalesca, I sit here wondering. No! I know why I didn’t leave Braxton to such a fate as starvation. Am I starving? I have money in the bank, but it’s nowhere near enough. That’s like saying I have Virgil here, but he’s not my Braxton. Was that a dig? I could use a Snickers. You’re not you when you’re hungry.

I swear, effing Pop Culture! Or should I go on a rant about MAGA? Eff MAGA! FDT! I need to catch my breath. Lu, I’ve needed to catch my breath since Sunday, January 31, 2021. I would have given it to Braxton if I knew he could have survived. Breathing!

“Out-standing! Did he have the balls to die there?”
Jarhead

Besides ending my son’s breathing, the second worst thing I’ve ever done is draw breath. And my days are spent trying to rectify that mistake. Why do you think I slept so late today? There are so many things outside. “The Long Walk.” If I had ten dollars to waste, I should have bought “The Running Man.” Do I really need more Stephen King, Luna?

FEAR is everywhere and always chasing. But I keep going.

And that’s another reason Virgil and I are a match made in Hell. As I went to pick him up this morning to keep him away from bugs, Virgil spun around me like a tornado.

Lunalesca, it was the bat I carried that scared him. Virgil obviously took a beating in his previous life. And then he ended up in this Hell with me. V had to keep breathing, Lu.

And since I won’t drown in my tears. And FEAR can only take my breath for a second, what else is there? Yabbos? Eww! But hear me out. I would love to be smothered to death by Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom M Anime’s Big’Uns. But that involves breathing till Winter. B’s Breathless, Sorry V

1630 Days Without B III, Day 1071 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Words Dropout Pledged To Him (Book Review)

Words Dropout Pledged To Him
I couldn’t drop this, and yet the words WTF fell out of my mouth with the TWIST. The unexpected, perhaps. However, I did enjoy ‘Pledged To Him.’ But from this genre or this writer, perhaps. When things start getting real… Anyway, of course, my favorite part was the whole Daddy and Babygirl angle, which makes me think about wanting to give it the good ole college try once. But yeah, more adult universe and less real. It’s been a minute.

It’s not something I would necessarily recommend to friends given the beginning’s “realness.” But everything else after that. And especially the promise that Jackson Avery made. Neil Bimbeau never disappoints. Only be ready for some darkness and also the heroics.

Journey 017 ~Don’t B Reading, Virgil~

On top of everything else, my first book review for 2025. If I can’t buy books to earn double points for Kindle, then… then nothing. I’m wasting time wondering how I’ll educate myself and my fur kids when none of us speaks. Don’t B Reading, Virgil.

Friday, July 18, 2025

Journey 017 ~Don’t B Reading, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Is that a lie? About as much as telling my boys not to read. Literacy kids.

Maybe if people read more, we wouldn’t be in this mess. If the MAGA Cracker Hats weren’t so busy burning books. My apologies, my lady, but even before reading M Anime’s rendition of Kim Petras’s “Treat Me Like A Sl*t…” There’s a reason M Anime could be Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom someday. Anyway, before I start drooling yet again and have to reset the No Fap counter to zero, thank you, M Anime, Cherry, @SeeJaneGoTV, @PopcornInBed, and lastly Alexis Rodriguez… Dear Sophia, these Latina chicks.

Anyway, I have to read about what the Cracker Hats have done. No wonder I don’t read about surviving Braxton’s passing. And what about Virgil? He’s still very much alive, but I can’t read Neil Bimbeau’s “Pledged To Him.” Review:

Words Dropout Pledged To Him
I couldn’t drop this, and yet the words WTF fell out of my mouth with the TWIST. The unexpected, perhaps. However, I did enjoy ‘Pledged To Him.’ But from this genre or this writer, perhaps. When things start getting real… Anyway, of course, my favorite part was the whole Daddy and Babygirl angle, which makes me think about wanting to give it the good ole college try once. But yeah, more adult universe and less real. It’s been a minute.

It’s not something I would necessarily recommend to friends given the beginning’s “realness.” But everything else after that. And especially the promise that Jackson Avery made. Neil Bimbeau never disappoints. Only be ready for some darkness and also the heroics.

Seriously, Lady Sophia, did I just give you a book review? And why couldn’t I provide you with something like “The Running Man” Because I only read a bit of the sample? And the whole book? Do I look like I have money? That’s why my boys aren’t reading, Sophia.

I could finish Braxton’s Novel, “My Turn To B III.” But by the 25th? That number has been popping up. Cherry made twenty-five bucks. The Running Man is set in 2025. And I said I would publish by Friday, July 25, 2025. But I can’t even read my banking right. I made $20. Spent $80. I don’t want to read about my inadequacies and failures.

But Effing M Anime. Someday Maybe… Don’t B Reading, Virgil

1629 Days Without B III, Day 1070 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 015 ~My Change, B, V~

Failing as an American? Become a MAGA Cracker Hat. Relish in hatred and ignorance for those not the “correct” skin tone. Be broke. I’m nowhere near Cracker Hat dumb. I like Yabbos. All colors, shapes, and sizes. I Need A Dollar. My Change, B, V.

Wednesday, July 16, 2025

Journey 015 ~My Change, B, V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I haven’t made a dime this week. And much like MAGA preaches. I’m an able-bodied American. And Black…

Effing Cracker Hats would send me to “Alligator Alcatraz” without question. As if that scares me now. Another one of my sins is not caring about my brothers and sisters.

Inspector, I’m ready to go all Land of Confusion for “my country.” Less Genesis, more Disturbed. But no. Today and every day begin and end with my boys, Braxton and Virgil. My sons, my children. The ones that made me change from… WHATEVER, into a friend, a father, and someone that can’t afford to Eff up. So where’s my money?

Inspector, There, “Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked.” I ended my boy. Braxton isn’t here. Yes, yes, Euthanasia, but a bag of ash and another of beige/tan fur. And then I rescued Virgil. Second Born.

Braxton was a dollar, and Virgil was the change. It doesn’t make sense. Do I think I’m funny? Also, I should quit being a meanie. MJ said this about making the world a better place.

“If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change.”
MJ

B’s Favorite Girl would be proud of me for knowing this from the Supernatural series:

That’s what hell is. Forgetting what you were.
Malleus Maleficarum

And that’s it, Inspector. I’m a “Bad Man,” Inspector, nowhere near R. Kelly bad. And I’ll never be an effing MAGA Cracker Hat. But I’m a bad person trying real, real hard to be a good one. Only I can’t save myself, so why did I think I could save my kids, B and V?

Braxton wasn’t a choice. B jumped onto the bed one morning, chowing down on waffles.

Speaking of jumping into bed…

What about “My Girl,” Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime? Again, unlike The Cracker Hats, I know, Puerto Rico is part of the U.S.A. Eff Tony Hinchcliffe too, Echo.

But the WWE likes him, and I still watch wrestling, which is one more sin of mine. But I’m not thinking about all the yummy Yabbos in the women’s division. Give me Cherry, @SeeJaneGoTV, and especially M Anime. Am I a cheat, too? In the spirit of Sir Mix-a-Lot, Ahem, I like big breasts if you cannot guess. You other brothers can attest… Seriously, E.

How much have I paid to see a girl’s copious cleavage, talk about my c*ck? Or make me come? I’m broke. I Need A Dollar. Better? My Change, B, V

1627 Days Without B III, Day 1068 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 013 ~Braxton Gets A Bug~

I don’t look to the future. But my boys’ potential stepmom has hope. Braxton was/is like that. He’d be living the dream. A big yard, the big brother to some two-legged kids, and he’d collect d*ck-teasers, Skeezers, and weirdos. But Braxton Gets A Bug

Monday, July 14, 2025

Journey 013 ~Braxton Gets A Bug~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And your day has only just begun. “We’ve Only Just Begun.” Girls? Really Dad? How’s “My Favorite Girl” doing?

Well, I should ask about my little brother first. How’s Virgil? You were scared he was two paws away from joining me. “(Sixteen) toes down, dawg. Love and the loyalty, that’s what we stand for.” What? I was way past the age of calling you ‘Bro’ Dad. Speaking of age…

How are you, Daddy? I know that sounds weird with what you were reading this morning. Virgil and I’s potential stepmom, M Anime. She’ll make better reading company. Uh, that’s like comparing sitting with you to sitting on “My Favorite Girl.” I love you, Old Man, but My Favorite Girl was just so soft. And now you have a girl of your own… Uh, potentially. And I’m going to say that bugs me, my father.

The fact that your future is coming on. And a part of me wants to go all Dolph Ziggler barking, “It Should’ve Been Me!” “My future. It’s coming on, it’s coming on, it’s coming on.” A little too much wrestling last night, Dad. I was there watching with you and my little brother. Always and forever is what we promised. Those nights sitting there, Dad.

When there was only us. Then there was My Favorite Girl. Next came little Virgil. In the future, there’ll be M Anime. One day there’ll be my other siblings. You said you’d name one of those crumb snatchers after me. And who knows… Resurrection? Reincarnation?

“Back up in your ass with the resurrection.”
Geto Boys

I know being a human bugs the Hell out of you, Dad. What bugs me?

It wasn’t any of those ones outside. Or whatever it was that made me sick. Or even how we ended things because you were there with me. Cliché, but I was with my best friend.

I was with you then, now, and in the future, and I can’t wait for you to bug me. Always.

I’ll be the one sitting with V when you shut him out of the room for M Anime Dad. Eww!

I’ll take turns sitting with you, M Anime, my two-legged brothers and sisters, as you fiddle with your glow boxes. I’ll miss out on all the fries as Virgil fills up. But I’ll always have a space in your heart. And why you can’t see it? Braxton Gets A Bug

“I’m too socially awkward to be left to my own devices. What do I do?”
― Seven Days in June

“Age carries all things away, even the mind.”
― Virgil

1625 Days Without B III, Day 1066 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son