Monday, March 23, 2026

Journey 265 ~Braxton’s Beautiful Battlefield, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B. Did you have a good day? Your face looks graver than mine. First, it’s 2:00 AM. Second? Bad joke.

Yours is the face of The Walking Dead, dear father. We are “The Walking Dead.”

Honestly, the “Glow Box” at a time like this? What else should we do? We men, ain’t we, Daddy? Should we pray like the 54th Massachusetts Infantry Regiment? I remember.

History lessons, or the last time you prayed, the week we… I… lost the war. No, no, not ever! Just like you and Acceptance. Am I asking you to accept this? Um, Dad, not ever.

What brings me to you today is a few things. No, I don’t want everything that would make me a… Anyway, you tried to teach me to respect women. Plus, my potential stepmom, M Anime, isn’t that type of lady, wanting everything, wanting a war.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

My father, no one would accuse you and me of being military masterminds. But Daddy…

A: We choose the wrong battlefields. Wrong place, wrong time.
B: We fight the wrong enemy or everyone at once
C: We can’t choose peace.

And even now, you wish you could be more Gordon Freeman and less Morgan Freeman:

“The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world.”

How MAGA of you. One more reason I wish I were there with you, Dad. In the fur sort of speak. You’re not MAGA, my father. You’re a tired black man in every way, and it’s because you’re “Everything Everywhere All At Once.” Which leads to B. Leads to me.

Minuteman? That’s what you are. No, not like that, Eww! I know you and M Anime are planning two-legged kids.

Virgil will have his paws full—my poor little brother. You want the world to be a better place for my favorite girl and the woman you chose, the kids as wobbly as I was on four, and for the worst man in the world… I wish every mirror reflected what you saw in my eyes every day. It’s why you’re so… Excited because I know you’re never HAPPY, but you’re glad when Virgil gets up and greets you at the gate instead of staying on his pillow as if welcoming you, and not some warrior—a war hero who’s too hurt from the day.

Seriously, like Fallout 4, Kojin Taxi 2, or Mortal Kombat. You’re fighting. I’m fighting with you. Braxton’s Beautiful Battlefield, Virgil

“There’s a peace that’s only to be found on the other side of war.”
―

“I seek Italy not of my own will.”
The Aeneid

1877 Days Without B III, Day 1318 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Monday, March 16, 2026

Journey 258 ~Hello Braxton, Hello Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… That is, when you let me back into the room. Or are you still “Turning Japanese,” with my stepmom?

Potential, Future, stepmom M Anime anyway. Or is that Ms. Anime to Virgil and me?

Daddy, you raised gentlemen, uh, gentlepups. I’m getting to be as weird as humans, Dad.

You know things like the Ides of March, St. Patrick’s Day, and the Irish Goodbye.

Honestly, Dad, what a way to start the morning, huh? But Hi, Hello, and good morning have never been our style. It was me as a pup still trying to find my legs. It was stuffing my face with your breakfast. It was all those mornings playing Cerberus—existence father.

We both came into this world quietly. And this is one of the things that made you my human, Dad, that I could greet the world with paws wide open.

“With Arms Wide Open”? That would be weird considering I don’t have arms. Four legs.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

With legs wide open? I’ll leave that to you and my potential stepmom. If you have your way with her, you could be singing that Creed song in earnest, presently. The present, my father. That’s what you’ve been struggling with these past few days. Well, forty-one years, right? Though I only saw 15 of them in the fur. The first night, I was dropped at your feet. But we really began that morning you saw my face bathed in a plate of syrup without so much as a hello. It all began as the sweetest dream, literally. So we lived.

Whatever or however we could define that. Hello and goodbye…

Formalities. Dad, you would say, you were “Too Good at Goodbyes.” But we both know that it’s the opposite. I’m the prime example of that. Things like The End, Goodbye, and especially Acceptance do not exist in this dojo or house anyway. Damn near impossible.

I know, Daddy, watch my barking language. My brother is the same way. I mean, with the way he’s been following you around lately. Like a tattoo on a biker’s ass. Can you blame us for wanting to be close to the human who loves us? Only Virgil’s worrying you.

And you can’t forget about M Anime. I Wanna Get Next To You. She has a better chance than I. Because I live in you, always. Hello Braxton, Hello Virgil.

“Besides, a man’s got to have some secrets, even from his son.”
Hometown Heat Wave

“Not ignorant of misfortune myself, I learn to help the unfortunate.”
― Dido, The Aeneid

1870 Days Without B III, Day 1311 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Monday, March 9, 2026

Journey 251 ~B All Ears Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And you don’t know how much I wish I were the first voice you heard this morning. It’s ungodly…

The hour, I mean. What were the first three voices you heard my father, honestly…

Collapsable Hearts, Easy Street
Your Own Crying
Virgil Vivi Snoring

Father, Father, because yes, I can hear Marvin Gaye too. And I want to ask, “What’s Going On?” Accusing my little brother and me of snoring. Just kidding. But you know every single breath we take. But it’s yours, Dad. Again, I wish I could take it all away. I’m trying. We would sit in bed, and you would tell me all about it. Or we would be where you are now, my father—nothing to get off your chest as long as I was lying there with you, remember.

But in less than fifteen minutes, you were calling yourself…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

STUPID? No, never, and not today! Do you know what you would do to people if they called me that? Talk about LANGUAGE! You would rip into people three times your size to protect me. And how much bigger was granddaddy? And you know I would fight for you, my father. You would always say my bark was worth more than anybody’s voice, Dad. Because at least I was helping you out. And what about my future Step Ma? M:

“Because she’s softer than you. She’s quieter than you. She doesn’t yell at me. She doesn’t call me an idiot or tell me to shut up all the time. She listens to me. She’s nice to me. She doesn’t make me feel like the only thing stopping her from being happy… is” me.”
Phil to Maureen, The Little Death 2014

Even before her. You see, Dad… Or rather, you hear. It’s not the silence you hate so much. Rather, the silence is filled with hate. And you need anything to drown it out, it’s there:

“Basically, I’m for anything that gets you through the night – be it prayer, tranquilizers, or a bottle of Jack Daniels.”
Quote by Frank Sinatra

Like FEAR, it’s an infinite playlist. The background. Your breathing.

You don’t need MAGA. Eff them and FDT. And there’s granddaddy. The Bad Place you have to go to this morning. The Walking Dead. Daddy, sing “My Own Worst Enemy.”

That’s why you have my potential stepmom, M Anime—listening to her. Reading her books. Seeing the things, I probably shouldn’t have seen… What, Dad? I have my Favorite Girl, and now you have yours. Like father, like son. We both know some great Yabbos.

“I’m So Thankful” that I didn’t have bark, bawl, and bellow at closed bedroom doors… And I’ll forgive the smile on your face as you imagine her moaning, because at least you’re not being a bully to yourself for a minute. Her, me, we love you. B All Ears Virgil

“My life is a movie, (fur buddies) and boobies.”
―

“My queen, you bid me renew unspeakable grief.”
The Aeneid

1863 Days Without B III, Day 1304 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son