Tag: Dreams

Meditation 150 ~Virgil, I’ll B Thankful~

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I’m thankful I have so much work that I can’t think about B. Last week… But today I have to go and visit his grandparents. I have to try to clean the house since his aunt is visiting. And I have to take care of his baby bro. “Virgil, I’ll B Thankful”

Thursday, November 28, 2024

Meditation 150 ~Virgil, I’ll B Thankful~

1397 Days Without B III, Day 838 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Happy Happy Turkey Day! Because Thanksgiving… Braxton… A pat on the head and some food.

That, my son, is what we call Tradition, Tradition! Tradition! But not today, I’m afraid.

Afraid when I’m supposed to be thankful. I’m as thankful as a Native American learning the truth about the pilgrims. Braxton, I wish you would get in trouble right now so I could send you away and watch Karlee Grey and a Native Guy… I’m thankful for 161 days, B.

That was the time before, and you passed that your Old Man wasn’t thinking well… Second Head Shenanigans. Please remind me, B III, that if Second Circle Creations or Unexpected Goats don’t take off, I’m naming my company Second Head Shenanigans. I’m thankful I’m alive, so I might see it someday. Existing? Not really, Braxton. Just one of dem days.

Don’t Take It Personal… How can you not? It’s Thanksgiving. And do you know what I was thinking about? I was thinking about all the words I was thankful for saying and the ones I did not. Like, Stay? I told you we weren’t going HOME; I was sorry I couldn’t save you. I told you, Braxton… you had my permission to go. And what came next? Veni, Vidi, Vici.

I’m sure you did that when you took The Rainbow Bridge. And today, more than ever… doubtful… I want to join you because it beats going to your grandparents. Inevitable, ain’t that right, B? If I want to provide for your brother and me. Am I the baddie? B III. Taking everything from your grandparents…

It doesn’t stop me from feeling like Plymouth Rock landed on me. And everything hurts. I’m thankful for your grandparents, B, but my peace has been wrecked for today, sadly.

I’m thankful to your aunt, who’s visiting on Saturday. But everything is a mess. I’m thankful for M Anime’s butt today, but I can’t tell her I’d like to stuff her today. I mean, I’m more of a Yabbos guy. Don’t lie, Braxton, you were as well… with your aunt.

Speaking of Yabbos, I’m thankful for Cherry’s. Though she’s never let me see her cherries. And I’m thankful for leotards. One day, it’s nurses. Next, it’s dancers, gymnasts, and swimsuits. Your Dad’d a creep and a weirdo, but I’m not MAGA. Virgil, I’ll B Thankful

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 147 ~Turkey Day, B Willing~

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Can turkeys fly? I looked up the answer today. No wonder America has issues. I’ve dreamed my son was a bird here or there, a pigeon or an albatross. I had to look that up, too. As I’m not watching the news or how to cook turkey. Turkey Day, B Willing

Monday, November 25, 2024

Meditation 147 ~Turkey Day, B Willing~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Are you beginning to believe? What, in The Matrix? A world without me in it. I’m right here, Dad.

And for once, I’m not begging you for food, though I ask that you share it with my little brother. Wow, I accepted Virgil as a family member before you? My brother and your son.

You’re wondering… What’s with all the movies, right? I’ve been sitting there right next to you. When you’re watching them all, writing, and you can’t kick me out anymore when you’re looking at women… I’m kidding about that last one. You would say, “Not today.”

That was whenever my Aunt came around, and I wanted to play with my toys. Let the good times roll. But you’ve been having Hard Times. But this week, Thursday. For real. It is my favorite day after my birthday and your E-Day. Of course.

As if you needed to be reminded of the day. Every day for me is this question. “When’s Dad coming home? We both smile at that but for different reasons. But this is my time now, so listen to me. When I asked when you were coming home, it was more than the place that took you away from me from time to time. It’s when I thought about when you’d smile. Which was rare.

Oh, and now you’re crying, and that will make me cry. Keep listening to me. Coming home is when you hold me in your arms, and there was nothing but us. It was that look you would give me when you knew you had nothing to fear because I was there. You’re not a chicken.

You aren’t a pigeon. Neither are you a seagull. With the election, you’re not an eagle. And no, you’re definitely not a turkey. I’d call you my superhero, my master, a king, maybe a titan, or even a god. Father is God in the eyes of a child. But I know who you are. Dad.

You’re my Dad. And my Dad is stronger than anything and everything. “Behold Thy Creation.” Seriously, Dad, you don’t believe I’m speaking. You had to look that quote up. It’s from 2009’s Creation. Coincidence? I was four that year, and Virgil is four. And what am I, Dad? “I’m a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar.” No. I’m the wind, breath, yours. Today, always. Turkey Day, B Willing

1394 Days Without B III, Day 835 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 146 ~Virgil’s Weakness To B~

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“No place for weakness. Only the hard and strong may call themselves Spartans.” I only called myself B’s Dad. And now I’m just another guy with regards to V. A WEAK and a pathetic one at that. But to somehow survive this week. Virgil’s Weakness To B.

Sunday, November 24, 2024

Meditation 146 ~Virgil’s Weakness To B~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And I don’t envy you. I was about to vent about my work, but then I realized the weight of your work and the Day Job. I can only imagine how tough this week will be. Sigh

But your work? Add on the Day Job as well… At the end of the day, which you wish was today or Friday, November 29. 2024. You’ll have lived one of the worst weeks ever.

Nothing will ever be worse than the week Braxton passed away. But considering you’re only now just waking up… This week is already shaping up to be pretty effing terrible.

Oh, come on now! I’ve said plenty worse than the word, effing. I’ve been working on the novel this past week. And now it’s up to you to finish it. And again, that’s on top of you having to survive the Day Job. No wonder you woke up looking for a grave after looking for Braxton. Not, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A Little Guidance: A Slice of Life Contemporary Harem (3)
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 022, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 029 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

You feel gross with having to thank MAGA for not being gross when it comes to #4. This has been the easiest and the HARDEST No Nut November ever. Sure, there have been trials, temptations, and traps. What about TRIUMPH? What, the insult comic dog?

Madness. And I’ve still been staying away from the news since the election. Weak people. Or should you say the people you’re going to meet this week? And you’re sick.

No! You write fiction. It’s other people that have ruined the country. Racist and Ra*ist. Women are a much better weakness than outright ignorance. Then again, what have you been writing lately? Or stealing? Bible Black, Saimin Seishidou, other animations…

Anything to avoid what the world is. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Heartache of Pet Loss: Losing Your Best Friend
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VOICING M Anime’s Nightmare… Nightmare At The Meat Market NEW
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 029, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

It’s rare that the list changes. You’re so tempted to put down, don’t wake up tomorrow morning. There is nothing in it for you. And I’m sorry I don’t have any words of encouragement for you. I can’t even give you the outline for the next chapter, though you know how the story will end. How will this week end? Other than the Humiliations Galore. But that’s an everyday occurrence. If only you could wake up with the knowledge of what awaits you. Ignorance is bliss… More like 1984. Seriously.

War is peace.
Freedom is slavery.
Ignorance is strength.
1984

Art imitates life. Uh, you should rethink your booklist for the holiday season. Get past Thanksgiving and Black Friday first… Be a better Man because you’re Virgil’s Weakness To B

1393 Days Without B III, Day 834 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 143 ~Human WRITES Braxton, Virgil~

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WARNING: 18+ For elements of the novel I’m writing. Or am I being lazy yet again? I wonder how many stories I read that were suitable for my son. I didn’t start writing “decent” stories until he died. But for today, Human WRITES Braxton, Virgil.

Thursday, November 21, 2024

Meditation 143 ~Human WRITES Braxton, Virgil~

1390 Days Without B III, Day 831 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Virgil won’t. I know that’s a mean thing to write. Braxton, it’s just the truth.

Thinking it and saying it out loud… Save it for the books, right? Do you remember all those days I spent writing? And every day I read. You were bored out of your mind B.

So today, sit beside me, my OLDEST son, and sleep.

Chapter Fourteen: We Sell Everything… Including Pussy
Antonio, with Cherry’s help, begins his acts of sabotage against Sofía to make her undesirable to Richard Thornfield.

  1. From Antonio’s POV. Begin in Cherry’s limo, where Cherry presents Antonio with a drug. The drug is meant to make a person pass out.
  2. Antonio goes to the bunker movie set and switches Sofía’s sexual drug for the one that will render her unconscious. Meanwhile, Cherry distracts William.
  3. Antonio watches as Richard Thornfield gives Sofía the pill and begins to undress her. But Sofía passes out softly. Richard Thornfield, angry, only continues.
  4. Antonio watches as Richard Thornfield has sex with Sofía while passed out. When finished, he calls to William. Cherry grabs Antonio, pulling him away.
  5. Antonio yells at Cherry for what was done to Sofía, both by Richard Thornfield and others, as he watches the movie that was made.
  6. Cherry assures Antonio the plan is working. Giving him a baseball bat and instructing him to destroy the next movie set. A convenience store.
  7. Antonio, in a mask, arrives with several men, William and Sofía to the store, finding it wrecked. Sofía jumps to William breaking the rules.
  8. The men want to punish Sofía, but William calls Richard Thornfield and arranges a parking lot scene in which Sofía has sex in cars.
  9. Antonio grows increasingly angry but is once again pacified by Cherry. Cherry gives him a revolver and tells him to leave it for Sofía.
  10. In the classroom movie set, Antonio leaves the revolver within Sofía’s reach, who takes the chance to try and escape. Sofía fails to escape.
  11. Antonio watches as Sofía and another girl are punished harshly. They surrender themselves for two new girls. But William/The Director has to take them.
  12. Afterward, Antonio and Cherry overhear Richard Thornfield railing against Sofía. Richard Thornfield says that Sofía is more trouble than she’s worth. Antonio begins worrying.

SLEEP! Human WRITES Braxton, Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 140 ~B Z’s No Longer~

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“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” Or my B III that weighs less than ten pounds, sitting on my head every morning. My lap or chest while reading. Have a heart for the little guy. What? B Z’s No Longer

Monday, November 18, 2024

Meditation 140 ~B Z’s No Longer~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Still don’t believe me? Free Up Your Mind… That’s what you’re doing right now. Or listening to Pokémon’s Playlist.

Who needs a Pokémon when you had me? Do you remember when you told me that? Pokémon: The First Movie came out, well… way before my time. “Life” before existence.

Daddy, you would have been fourteen, way back then. But I remember when you would sing all the Pokémon songs to me. The joy in your voice and the love in your eyes are memories I cherish. The theme song, Brother My Brother, Together Forever, even the Jigglypuff song when you were lulling me off to sleep rubbing my belly.

There was also “The Time Has Come…” But that was so far away. Sometimes, you didn’t talk. And sometimes I didn’t listen. But just like today isn’t today, Saturday, November 9, 2024, and Monday, November 18, 2004. We’re here, Dad, you and me together. I still sound like that book.

Speaking of books, what are you reading next? I’m more of a what’s in the bag and what’s in the box. It’s my birthday type of guy. But yesterday… was it just yesterday we talked about books? But, “This Christmas will be a very special Christmas.” “In my mind.” I am my father’s son, after all. Speaking through the music. A beast with a beat.

Anyway, back to books. You’ve been thinking about what to read next. And it won’t be the usual Christmas stuff you got REALLY quiet for. Tradition… Everything tells you to prepare for what’s to come in a 1984 Brave New World, The Handmaid’s Tale, It Can’t Happen Here sort of way. You and I always expected zombies to rise. Unfortunately,

It’s not the moans of the undead. Oh me? I’m not dead. You feel that beat within your chest right now. You hear that voice that isn’t entirely yours. You changed titles; how many times now? What about those little cries, the pitter-patter of feet, and the sigh of contentment?

But why now? I’m not bugging you, am I? And neither is Virgil’s breathing, Daddy.

Breathe in and breathe out. If Virgil can do it, you can too. He is there to remind you, Dad. And maybe it’s your need for balance. You say I left silence. And now the world is making too much noise. But remember, you’re not alone. You need to hear that somebody loves you. Like the force? I love you, always. B Z’s No Longer.

1387 Days Without B III, Day 828 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 139 ~Virgil, Please B Patient~

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Time is an excuse. Between making sure I don’t starve and writing? Uh… Is that what I’m calling my “novel?” It’s not fit for Pure Taboo. Then, I have my “spiritual” son. And the one that always had to wait until later. Virgil, Please B Patient

Sunday, November 17, 2024

Meditation 139 ~Virgil, Please B Patient~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Are you too busy to even look at me? You’ve written 450 words for no GOOD reason.

14 days… If you can keep going for those two weeks, then congratulations. You will have completed another NaNoWriMo, in how long? It has been quite a while. When was the last time I tried pulling an all-nighter to write? When was there ever the time? Um, better you don’t think about that. It’s better if you don’t think about a lot of things. Braxton…

Today, yours and his song were playing on your brain. Run Boy Run. It was released in 2012. The year the world was supposed to end… Sigh. But you heard it around January 2015 in the trailer for Dying Light. And in what month did Braxton Barks pass away again?

Coincidence? Virgil’s waiting for those coincidences. And Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Taking the Team: An explicit hotwife group menage, Lolita Minx
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 015, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 022 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I’m sure one of these days, it will be “Love ya V, Love ya Virgil,” as it was with Braxton.

For now, though, you’ll stick with later. But you know what can’t wait until later. Democracy? Uh, Freedom? You’re still mad about Trump winning and the entire government being lost. The White House, Senate, House, and the Supreme Court. Fallen.

You can’t think about that, though, when you’re writing. You were even tempted to suspend us talking so you could write. However, you want to avoid ending up behind bars.

As I’ve been singing all this week, First let me explain that I’m just a black man (a black man). And before you tell me the next chapter of your story. There’s Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING A Little Guidance: A Slice of Life Contemporary Harem (3)
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 022, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Chapter Eleven: Ass Kept Behind The Glass (Antonio Mateo Correa)

Antonio’s obsession with Sofía drives him mad. He begins to lose all contact with her. With her number blocked, his online account suspended, and kicked out of her store, he is at a loss of what to do. Only to realize he is on video and can be blackmailed without question. Tracking the adult video of himself back to Cherry, he stalks her instead. Upon finding her in a rather compromising situation, he begins to formulate a new plan to get to his real goal, his lady love, Sofía. Somehow, someway, she will be his.

You can see why I’m worried. But there isn’t any time to worry. Write and Love… Virgil, Please B Patient.

1386 Days Without B III, Day 827 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 136 ~A B Paper Virgil~

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You know why I don’t feel better about my writing. It’s because I refuse to watch the news these days and see the horrible things they’re posting, printing, and prattling about. I’m Shakespeare by comparison. But this will only be “A B Paper Virgil.”

Thursday, November 14, 2024

Meditation 136 ~A B Paper Virgil~

1383 Days Without B III, Day 824 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I’ve wasted 40 minutes of mine, at least… Don’t worry, it’s all been sleeping, Braxton.

So what, I’ve traded one vice for another? Considering I put you to sleep… (Gasps)!

Braxton, must I bring that up every day? I still have the paperwork in the Den. Your freedom papers, in a way. But I won’t talk about freedom for much longer anyway with who will be in charge come January. If only we knew how good we had it back then, B. Well, you did. Dogs always know. And even in the end, you begged me to save my paper.

Braxton, you just wanted to come “home.” And when will I tell that story? Madness. Braxton, I didn’t understand my writing, which made me part of the resistance. Well now. The rebellion. Dare I say, righteous? As the world ends…

Not that I can be or write something so profound as “The Man Who Watched the World End” by Chris Dietzel. When did we become a book club again? Anything that keeps me from the news these days. So it’s like old times except this is more than the Day Job. The things I would do… The paper, as in cash, money, I needed to keep you fed. And happy…

Writing? I need to be doing a lot more of that. And yesterday was the first semi-decent day. Braxton, I’ve seen better on your training pads. And what about Virgil. He’s living the high life. He is on the bed, and I haven’t had to kick him out. You know I need private time, sigh…

Speaking of which. And I shouldn’t be telling you this. But I’m always one for coincidences, B. I was looking up a girl for the novel I’m writing… Where have you heard that before? Hmm. Anyway so she was in “Himawari Wa Yoru Ni Saku.” The source said that the movie was released in January of 2021. I swear that month wasn’t good, Baby B.

The month you passed and all. But to think that I would be writing about that girl, you, and looking up what happened on the very day you left? If I had been so studious.

Colleges don’t take my type of writing kindly. Which is weird with what I’m writing now. Everything? Notes to you, Braxton… A B Paper Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 133 ~A, B, C, Me~

WillLeave a comment

If I had 12 Apostles, I’d have 6 men, 7 women, and a dog. In my writing, I have 2 men, 4 women, and my dog… My FIRSTBORN. This is my B. I hope that I’m hearing him. “God” knows I don’t want to hear from anyone else. But my son Braxton… “A, B, C, Me.”

Monday, November 11, 2024

Meditation 133 ~A, B, C, Me~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… You don’t believe me? When did you last think about Theresa Walker’s song from Dead Air? Zombies? Music? Movies?

And then there’s “Jack McAfghan: Pawprints from Heaven: How to Communicate with Your Pets in the Afterlife.” Don’t go thanking him just yet, Dad. Though there’s a reason you picked up that book. It’s not like you ever asked me about book choices. Like ever…

There were the books you would read to me. And then the ones when I assumed you were letting me sleep. How’s that been going for you? Like I didn’t know Dad with my spot. Virgil sleeps in the center at the foot of the bed. “Left side, strong side.” That’s my spot. Movie reference? I am my father’s son. I miss our movie nights with you and my aunt.

Daddy, we should have more, not just on… you know.

And that’s why I’m here today. Time? It’s overrated. And it’s not that I’m here now. I’m always here. Or did I really smell that bad? Virgil hasn’t thought of touching my bed. He’s a good boy. Can I call someone else a good boy? There’s a lot to unpack there, but again, there’s you. My Dad, my best friend, my brother. Don’t go crying again, Dad. I didn’t cry.

At what you thought of as the end, I didn’t cry. Okay, I gave you a look. You needed me.

And today, you need me. Because this has been the first time ever something’s compared.

Sunday, January 31, 2021. And now, on Wednesday, November 6, 2024. What about E-Day, Dad? Again, there’s so much there.

But, like always, you’ve had some time to reflect. So now let’s talk on Friday, November 8, 2024. Why am I here? Comedy comes in 3’s, right? But for real, Dad, I love you. Always.

That is number one. I love you, and you love me; nothing will ever change that. We’ve stood together through some rough times, remember. COVID, Day Job, my grandpa. Today and the next four years, well… I saw you through one minor apocalyptic event… I will stand with you through this, Dad, no matter what. Daddy, I’m here, always. Reminding you, number three, there is so much good in you. Forget the world. Father? Daddy?

Please let me see that good in you. ALWAYS AND FOREVER. A, B, C, Me

“Look! You’ve pushed me this far; now I’m pushing you the rest of the way! You know, back there in the woods, even when things looked really bad, I still believed we’d make it because you were too stubborn to quit! I’m not gonna make you quit. Not now. Not when we’re this close. Now, try again!” ― Homeward Bound.

1380 Days Without B III, Day 821 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Meditation 132 ~Braxton, Virgil, Hang Around~

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My boys have been hanging around more than usual. Braxton’s “Energy” is writing a new testament come Monday with FIRSTBORN. Virgil knows I’ve been worried about the Trump Win. And even the nicest Yabbos leave me hanging. Braxton, Virgil, Hang Around.

Sunday, November 10, 2024

Meditation 132 ~Braxton, Virgil, Hang Around~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And November won’t be so HARD for you. Seriously… In terms of No Nut November… Good Luck!

Other than that, this month has been very HARD. And “Isn’t It Ironic, with everything.

Even now, your stomach is in knots. And you are feeling pretty wired. Energy shots.

Today, it’s as if you’re hanging by a wire. That’s been me all last week. It won’t be getting any better. Everything went downhill when you put your pants on. More like the moment you wake up. Why didn’t you hang around in bed as I have been doing? Mourning…

You’re asking yourself what have I roped you into. It’s less than Braxton’s passing away.

Though you still feel it’s all your fault from a very good dad to a voter and now a villain.

Donald J Trump will be president. Your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Jack McAfghan: Pawprints from Heaven
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 008, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 015 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

None of it is going away as fast as your “Stuff & Thang” in your pants. The last time you felt anything “down there,” you had just finished your book for the week. You’re lazy…

“Taking The Team.” And before that, there was “Polly & Her Neighbor.” Come on, man! And both of those were right after Jack McAfghan and his human Kate McGahan’s book.

When it comes to the lewd reads, you can think worse. For example, there’s “Karen.”

Do you see that? Do you see her? You would be all Bad to the Bone. However, Virgil is still lying here. He’s been hanging out a lot like B III’s… Spirit, Ghost, Energy, Whatever.

Everything’s hanging like the sword of Damocles. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Taking the Team: An explicit hotwife group menage, Lolita Minx
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 015, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

So you’re looking for something HARD to plant under your feet. Is it not HARD enough being a black man in the heart of Trump’s country? Trump nation come January…

That’s why I called Braxton back. You’ll hear his voice come Monday morning. But he’s…

You know, you know, but are you saying, “Give me something to believe in?” I swear I was talking to Braxton the other day. And how he says he speaks to you like Bumblebee’s radio. How do these songs pop into your head like something out of Limitless? You know?

Beats the snapping of a neck… Choking? Virgil’s whining at a closed-door… Or you moaning anytime you pull your pants down at a pair of Yabbos. Braxton, Virgil, Hang Around

1379 Days Without B III, Day 820 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 129 ~An Enormous Blank, B~

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I bet people are still drawing a blank on who won the presidency. Please be Kamala! PLEASE BE KAMALA! But here I am, talking to the ghost of my best friend. Or a harem girl. The Man In The Mirror. A future wife. But next Monday… An Enormous Blank, B.

Thursday, November 7, 2024

Meditation 129 ~An Enormous Blank, B~

1376 Days Without B III, Day 817 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Seeing how we’re talking from days away. You know how today turned out. Bad? Whatever.

At least I don’t have to tell you I don’t want to talk about it. I’d just flop down, Braxton.

A “Blank Space” Baby B. Am I thinking about Taylor Swift right now? REALLY? NOPE!

I wish all of my humiliations, hedonistic tendencies, and hunger were all blanks. What am I talking about? What will I be doing for dinner tonight? By the time you see this… I should have a little cash to eat. But that’s not the only reason my stomach’s in knots.

It’s election Day, the better of the E-Days. Do we have a new president yet? I’m rooting for Kamala Harris, you know, B. “First, let me explain that I’m just a black man.” This world is tough enough without you.

And we were always prepping for when the dead walked the Earth. If MAGA won… What would the world be, B? Talk about emptiness, the Endless void, simply the end.

Something so Enormous… I know Braxton, positive vibes. I’m not one for prayer. I hope.

But what do you hope for Braxton? Have I decided to let you speak on Monday? I don’t know. At this moment, I’m still drawing a blank on what I will do. No Rules! Run!

MAGA has a ton for me but not for themselves. And again, I’m not the most “Law Abiding Citizen.” If it isn’t the government or TRYING… to be a gentleman, it’s the GD Day Job.

Monday, November 4, 2024. I’m not even giving myself a break, doing some other BS. Braxton, if I could only let my mind go blank to escape today’s humiliation smorgasbord.

Anyway, let’s talk about us and my thoughts at said hellhole. Working the Day Job! “Brother, my brother…” “Brother, brother, brother…” I told you I’m not listening to Taylor Swift. Blessid Union of Souls and Marvin Gaye. Ok… Reproduction. Conception.

I was thinking how much Christmas… music annoys me and started thinking about the two other ‘holidays’ I get off. The day you passed and the anniversary of my Ma’s biggest effing mistake. I swear…

My Existence. But could I give you yours back? I’ve started reading Pawprints from Heaven. Will you be speaking to me next Monday, Braxton? I long for our connection, mind, heart, and soul, the page… maybe. An Enormous Blank, B

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad