Meditation 337 ~B The Ball, Virgil~

A great man once said, “You know nothing about dying, and you know nothing about love!” Let’s start simpler. What do I know about sports? The richer you are, the smaller your balls. “Am I rich enough?” There’s still love around. “B The Ball, Virgil.”

Tuesday, June 3, 2025

Meditation 337 ~B The Ball, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? But I’m not a prince, a player, and how many puppies have I had love?

Love hasn’t always been a ball for me. A dance? A game? And to have the balls to do so. That last one is another thing entirely. But when it came to Braxton… An accident.

“Accidents ambush the unsuspecting, often violently, just like love.”
― Andrew Davidson, The Gargoyle (2008)

Honestly, that’s not something a parent is supposed to say about their child. But Braxton.

Love, ask me how I am on this Sunday, June 1, 2025. And you’re seeing this on the 3rd. Ha.

Love is like seeing a fly ball and “I Think I Can, I Think I Can,” get off The Pillows first to go to a ball game. But anyway, I see the ball, and I reach out, and I get beaned in the head. SIGH. Or I chase a ball into the street and… BAM!

But enough about my fur buddy Braxton. And Virgil? Six months of meds… He’ll live.

What about two furry balls that are a little bit closer to my person, if you know what I mean. When was the last time “You and Me” made ‘the bedsprings sing’ in this Lifehouse of ours? I don’t have little white balls, ha-ha. Still, my big, ole black ones feel like they are getting whacked around, and I need to find a hole someplace in you, my beautiful wife.

Wow! Was that crass? I could talk about my fantasies with you, my pretty “Cheerleader.” “Oh, I think that I found myself a cheerleader; she’s always right there when I need her,” right? Being here singing “I Like It Rough.”

Like football? I would actually prefer it if we wrestle. All WWE style. Seriously WWE.

They released Ron Killings, AKA R-Truth. Those bastards. But another time, my love. As for putting another black man down, I need only look at myself in the mirror. Sunday?

Every day, I have the balls to knock myself down like so many bowling pins. And it “Hurts Like Hell.” But much like embracing the pain of losing my firstborn son B. And the perverse pleasurable pain and torment that I inflict upon you. Like the Scorpion said to the frog as they sank to the bottom of the water. “It’s what I do” I’m “LoveStoned.” “Dead in the Water.” I play music, not with balls. B The Ball, Virgil.

1584 Days Without B III, Day 1025 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 334 ~Braxton’s BASS Face Virgil~

I’m all about that bass, no treble. Escape correcting others of my pronouns. What am I? Full MAGA. Ew! At least I’m not telling people we’re all going to die. Well, more in a “Don’t Look Up” way. But Virgil needs to live. “Braxton’s BASS Face Virgil”

Saturday, May 31, 2025

Meditation 334 ~Braxton’s BASS Face Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… If that were the case, I’d be screaming my head off. Crying, complaining while crapping cash.

Ew! But having money is the shit because “Oh, somehow I know there’s more to life than this.” “Only God Knows Why.” Life and God; “Oh Where, Oh Where Has My Little Dog Gone?” My son, my Braxton. Am I not going to talk about him today? What about his little brother Virgil? Is it better to talk about the living, not the dead? Republicans…

“Well, we all are going to die.”
Senator Joni Ernst

Geez, Louise, Lady Lunalesca, I’m not that bad to say such a thing in a room full of constituents. And the Senator had some bass in her voice, too. So I want bass and billions.

Why? To keep Virgil from ending up like Braxton. One more problem off my plate or the exam table. Lunalesca, Virgil is alive and well.

Am I lying? Well, his look-at-me fee was $190.00. Do you remember when I was bragging about the car dealership waving that $189.00? I can’t do that anymore. With everything…

Virgil’s check-up, with six months of medication. The vet did say Virgil Vivi is heartworm-free. And speaking of free, they threw in a nail trim. So, with all of that and a late lunch, the damage comes out to around $270.00. So what’s the bad news. The TOOTH, dear Lu.

Virgil needs a teeth cleaning in the worst way. Like father, like son. Which is why I keep my mouth shut. All the dental work I need. And when I speak plainly, Dear Lady Lunalesca.

My voice has no bass, I’m afraid to say, Lunalesca.

Did I want a burger that badly yesterday? Or did I want to hear someone call me ‘Sir’ over ‘Ma’am’?

Another reason for Braxton and Virgil. With every bark, beat, and breath, all I hear is Dad, Daddy, or Father. I don’t think Virgil has ever been so grateful after the vets brought him back to me. He nearly didn’t make it to the appointment after the vet’s humiliating call. You know me, I’d do anything for my furry sons.

Don’t be such a drama KING. So, the receptionist called me ‘Ma’am’ over the phone.

Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom says she can fall in love with my maleness. I’m quite the guy until someone brings me back to reality, like what happened to Meghan Trainor? She’s happy… Me, Boys, Stepmom? Braxton’s BASS Face Virgil

1581 Days Without B III, Day 1022 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 331 ~That’ll B Rehab, Virgil~

Now, why did I spend around $20.00 on 5-hour ENERGY when I’ve detoxed. It took a week. My legs had me on The Long Walk. Working but not getting paid. Heading towards Banfield with another furry son. And a ball and chain, hmm. That’ll B Rehab, Virgil.

Wednesday, May 28, 2025

Meditation 331 ~That’ll B Rehab, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Because there is no finality, forgiveness, and no finish line when it comes to FEAR. If there was…

Well, I passed it and kept on walking. Braxton passed Sunday, January 31, 2021. And yes, I read another chapter of The Long Walk by Stephen King, also known as Richard Bachman. So there’s that.

This leads me to today. I noticed my legs had stopped hurting. Detox complete from 5-hour ENERGY, just in case you were wondering why it took me so long to get here today, Inspector. It took getting clean, B and V’s ‘potential’ stepmom M Anime, some sisters, and Cherry. And a Happy Birthday to Cherry, who turned 28 on the 28th. An author and a playwright with a great pair of melons I’ve never seen. Not about me, I’m afraid.

Dear Inspector Echo, I am consumed by FEAR every hour of every day. But as a great man once said…

“I’m too old for this shit.”
Roger Murtaugh, Lethal Weapon

Too old to not be happy, always horny, which again this morning’s shenanigans, and to be dreaming of seeing Heaven ‘by accident’ so I can see Braxton again. “Livin’ On A Prayer” is not working for me. As I walked Braxton’s little brother, Virgil, today. I had a funny thought. B’s walking with us since I do wear an urn pendant filled with his ashes.

Anyway, then I started thinking about a time when I wasn’t afraid. That’s easy enough. Inspector, it was when I would wake up from a nap and see my son, my protector, sitting at the corner of the bed, staring at the door. And I realize that nothingness before him.

Braxton was staring directly at FEAR, keeping it at bay.

And then I understood, in part, why Virgil’s panicked little run annoys me so much. Inspector, he’s running from FEAR. And he brought a few of his, too, which we’ll see on Friday at his vet appointment. Besides draining my bank account, I don’t know how to rid him of his FEAR because mine is right beside him. It’s like that scene from I Am Legend when Dr. Neville (Will Smith) was injured, and his dog Samantha held the line.

Sam protected him from the infected man and his dogs. Virgil and I… we’re screwed. And speaking of screwing… M Anime. She said Maroon 5’s “Sunday Morning” reminded her of me. Is this love “Hanging By A Moment” For my heart, That’ll B Rehab, Virgil.

1578 Days Without B III, Day 1019 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 330 ~There’ll B Bodies, Virgil~

I got so freaking sad. Walmart tends to do that before MAGA’s tariffs. As always, FDT! And I won’t get paid this week. Virgil has a vet visit, and I have a girl looking to be with me. I’m trying to ‘save’ myself… There’ll B Bodies, Virgil

Tuesday, May 27, 2025

Meditation 330 ~There’ll B Bodies, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? I’m not Jigsaw. Did I mean that to be funny? Like Stephen King, Eli Roth…

Oh yes, there will be blood. Only in movies and books. And why am I in such a creepy mood today? Monday, May 26, 2025. The past few weeks haven’t been so kind. I know.

But I could be crying over Braxton as I did this morning. There was the sweat from my “Anxiety” setting up Virgil’s next vet appointment. I must be as ‘annoying’ as Doechii’s song worrying about my first and second born. And can I mention I see myself sitting on that hard bench in Banfield back on Sunday, January 31, 2021, hearing my son was dying?

He wasn’t the first life I saw end, but the first I ended with my own hand. The stroke of a pen, whatever. A body.

And he was lucky. Braxton only had to die once… Twice, if I ever truly let him go. I don’t know if I ever can. But that’s the man you married. One who has died so many times up to this point in our lives. Our lives? But the day my B left is the one I dare to remember.

“On the day I was born.” What, was I “Bad to the Bone?” The day my father beat my ass for lying about my homework. I wrote down the problems but without any answers. Hell! I still feel a certain kind of way about drinking a bottle of IBC Root Beer. He smacked the bottle out of my hand before… Anyway, how many other lives.

“There I lay, wearing dead people as armor against death.”
― Andrew Davidson, The Gargoyle

Again I’m being pretty effing creepy. But I slay, vanquish, delete, and unalive myself so many times in so many different ways. And no, not because of Braxton. Or that I feel I’m failing Virgil. What about taking care of you and our children? Baby Doll, Love? A Man Provides.

And ‘God forbid’ I use the dreaded K-word. Unless we’re talking about the film Pontypool, then “K*ll is kiss!” And I can’t start singing Teen Idle Feeling super, super (super!)… well, you know the rest. I surround myself with the living to keep back death.

I lie in bed with you. I pay Virgil’s bill. I tuck in our children. I read and write. Burying bodies in fiction without graves. But There’ll B Bodies, Virgil

“Be the body, not the shadow; hold space.”
From ― Amina, The Book of Clarence

1577 Days Without B III, Day 1018 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 327 ~Braxton Cashes In Virgil~

I’ve had two car accidents. One with two different cars. Today’s car drama started with me going to see my Olds on Mother’s Day. What shall I see today? Books in a waiting room. A bill. A boy, a son, I failed. B was lucky… “Braxton Cashes In Virgil.”

Saturday, May 24, 2025

Meditation 327 ~Braxton Cashes In Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Awnaw, hell naw! What a way to wake up, huh? Not with hope, happiness, mental health…

There was a time when Braxton was all there was. I’d collapse into bed, he would make sure I was tucked in, and then he’d go and “stand a post.” A Few Good Men, Lunalesca.

Today, I remember that scared kid I was. God, so long ago. The back of the car smashed into a tree on a dark morning. Terrified I was going to wake up my Old Man. But somehow, the car started again, and I drove to the Day Job. Afterward, with barely $600, I went to Express Oil Change and sat in the waiting room, fear gripping tight, thinking again I’d have to call my Old Man because I wouldn’t have enough to pay. Then what?

As Sia sings I’m “Alive,”

But my son is not. Braxton died so many years afterward. But to be “Two of the Lucky Ones.” I should have followed him. As I’ve said before, Lady Lunalesca. Whenever I’m afraid, I think of the worst day of my entire existence, and that was watching my son die.

Next would be the day I was born. So, I guess the day I wrecked the car and sat in an auto shop would be the third worst day ever. And that is why we’re talking at 5:20 AM, Luna.

I should be asleep, Luna, slithering on my belly or saying to myself, I’ll do better tomorrow. But for me and Apollo Creed, “There is no tomorrow!” Explains Friday evening.

I bought even more books.

Buying books like they’re going out of style. Which, according to MAGA, they are. And I know you’re not Lady Sophia. Still, I purchased everything from Richard Bachman/Stephen King’s “The Long Walk” to Richard Dresser’s “It Happened Here.” Effing MAGA. Another harem book from Logan Jacobs’ “Backyard Dungeon 17: A Reverse Portal Fantasy.” And finally, there is “The Aeneid” by Virgil. Did I forget my other son, named after the Roman poet? The man who led Dante through Hell. The dog waiting for his walk.

Should I survive today at the dealership and have any money left, there’s Virgil’s health. And what about his and Braxton’s stepmom? Is M Anime that for my boys. Possibility.

But I won’t bet on myself. Braxton Cashes In Virgil

1574 Days Without B III, Day 1015 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 324 ~Braxton and Virgil Unleashed~

My firstborn furry son Braxton kept his balls and was a Puritan except for his toys or favorite girl. Virgil is confused. As for their Dad? Well, my Calendar Girl became bold. So B and V can go out while she and I… uh? “Braxton and Virgil Unleashed.”

Wednesday, May 21, 2025

Meditation 324 ~Braxton and Virgil Unleashed~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Is FEAR a sin? What about when I ended Braxton’s suffering? So they say. My writing. Being naked.

We’ll get to all that, Inspector. But yesterday and always, there’s my Braxton. And Virgil?

Well, Virgil is still alive. And right after getting the car fixed, I can afford to worry about him. I can’t really afford anything, but I won’t let Virgil die. I told Braxton likewise, Echo.

Well, it worked, didn’t it? Braxton got a long fifteen years. He was thirteen days shy of his sweet sixteen. Virgil will have had a third of Braxton’s time if we get to October. Five.

Inspector, I can’t imagine five more years for myself. Hell! When I woke up, I didn’t want five more minutes. As Teen Idle says, “Feeling super, super (super!) ….” You know how that lyric ends. When Will My Life Begin?

Do I look like Princess Rapunzel or Mandy Moore? Is it a sin to say I’ve seen several Disney Princesses sans clothing? If anything, I should be jazzed. Or should I say the “Girl All the Bad Guys Want” needs to be jizzed and glazed? Must I be so crass? I’m sure, M Anime wouldn’t mind, considering I’ve seen her like no man ever has… Happy Go Lucky Me, Inspector. But I can’t tell you “I Just Had Sex” with her. When I do, Inspector…

Honestly, I might not share everything with you and everyone else. I’m an open book. Inspector, don’t get me started on how I embarrassed myself writing yesterday. It was a lot worse than Akon’s “I Wanna Eff You.” She knows.

And I know. “I’m Too Sexy.” Vanity is definitely a sin. I take a look at my “Enormous Penis,” as Da Vinci’s Notebook sings. And I feel better for a bit. Though you figure I would have creamed my jeans over M Anime a few dozen times. She’s Effing Beautiful!

However, it’s better to keep my pants off. Braxton and Virgil know the difference between my sweatpants and my jeans. And nine times out of ten, jeans did not bode well for my boys. The Day Job, the vet, and people in general. And if I sent them to B’s room. Uh, my “private time.” M Anime wants to get “Nasty.” I can bare my body. I can’t bear my mind. Braxton and Virgil Unleashed.

1571 Days Without B III, Day 1012 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 323 ~L’s Between B, V~

“I want you to recognize the difference between what you feel and what’s real.” I feel courage, but I ain’t got the guts. I’m horny, but I’m lying here on my… man parts. I’m in love, but in how many ways has my heart broken. Loser. “L’s Between B, V”

Tuesday, May 20, 2025

Meditation 323 ~L’s Between B, V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? That’s why we must tell our children about the birds and the bees. That conversation.

“But, uh, has anyone talked to you about the birds and the bees?”
“Oh, you mean dicks and vaginas?”
― The Last of Us (2025)

Thank you, but I prefer it my way
Andre Baptiste Sr., Lord of War (2005)

The first time I gave something even remotely similar to that speech was with Braxton.

More to the point of Ain’t nobody “Humpin’ Around.” What can I say? Like father like son, my love. Braxton was supposed to be my breast… Excuse me. My Best Man. And he and I were both big fans of Yabbos. And he B III liked his aunt. A lot. I had to tell him.

What about Virgil? He won’t need that speech, I’m afraid. The ole snip, snip, treatment. Is it any wonder that my secondborn lost his balls? Braxton had some huge cojones.

Seriously, what’s with all this talk about my boys’ anatomy? Trying to be lighthearted, ha!

I’m so “Heavy In Your Arms.” So “Let’s Get Lost.”

The Twilight Soundtrack? That’s the lightest of it, my love. I want to lose my crown. I’ve never been a good man, but how dare I refuse to be king. I don’t have the heart for it. Mine was broken when I lost my firstborn son, little Braxton. Now yours, our kids, trying to mend Virgil’s. A jar of hearts. And no, not like Christina Perri, more like Marianne Engel.

Do you remember when we read Andrew Davidson’s The Gargoyle? That Marianne. Do you remember her man, the pornographer? Eff! How I want to get lost in you, baby doll.

“If you have any idea what I want to do to you right now. I can’t live like this.”
Will Traynor, Me Before You (2016)

Fingers, tongue, and, uh, penis. As the Isley brothers said, “Enough of this singin’, let’s make love.” But “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin'” I have.

“It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me.” And I can hear you now if I quote one more song…

But what would be left of me? I can’t tell you the critics. And the one who I could tell…

There’s SADNESS, FEAR, and LUST. So, as I have a week to lie here, I don’t have a week to lie here. So what do I do, my love? What do we do? I can’t do this. But husband, father…

What should I read some more? This morning, it was more about pet loss. When I close my eyes, there’s another ding that scares me. And looking at your beauty. And not being able to do anything Less, Loser, Lost, Me. L’s Between B, V.

1570 Days Without B III, Day 1011 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 320 ~Virgil’s Plan B Crisis~

I don’t want to be like my father. A provider, yes. Not one telling their son to man up, grow a pair, or mistake anger for courage. B III had huge cojones. 2-V has none. And mine? Well, between OF and my boys’ stepmom… Oh! Virgil’s Plan B Crisis

Saturday, May 17, 2025

Meditation 320 ~Virgil’s Plan B Crisis~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Or if I was, I’d have the balls to be a jerk. Braxton was for free.

Lady Lunalesca, I love my boy like pancakes. But I can call him a jerk. B III had balls, Lu. Virgil is annoying as all Hell. But his balls have nothing to do with me. He’d already been snipped before I met him. Does that thought make me cry. Nope! Virgil woke me up around three in the morning with that panicky run of his. It can be infuriating, Lunalesca.

But why am I talking about dog balls today? Why not focus on mine, if anything? And we will. I have more than enough crises, calamities, and criminality. Lunalesca? Boys?

Always and forever, my boys. I never had a plan for life without Braxton. And what will I do with Virgil? Keep waiting, wanting, walking.

And what about my boys’ stepmom? We went from texting every couple of weeks to trading writing every day. And then, on Thursday, May 15, 2025, as the song goes, I’m all “You Make My Dreams” come true. And I haven’t heard from her since. What am I to think? It’s only been a day, but when a girl shows you a little (something, something…)

Then I’m busy wanking to reciprocate. What? I didn’t do a video. Did I mention I have an OnlyFans? So I had to show off BIG WILLIE. Eww. And that’s all she wrote, my Lady. So, “What makes me a man? Any fool could see (that you’re) more than a woman to me.” That’s what I was trying to say…

But what are Angie Stone, Robin, and Maurice Gibb saying now? That’s pretty dark. Yeah.

You’ll have to excuse me, Lady Lunalesca. It was raining cats and dogs earlier. Too bad none of them were my Braxton. Okay, what is with my “dark humor?” Since it was storming. And Virgil again was running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Stop It! Anyway. I couldn’t take Virgil outside. So I listened to DJ Cara “GTA”. Let’s agree that it didn’t do me any favors. Well, other than forgetting the real crises during existence.

First, there’s the Check Engine Light. Afterward, Virgil needs to get his shots. And if somehow I can pay for that. Mourning, Mammaries, and making money. Virgil’s Plan B Crisis.

1567 Days Without B III, Day 1008 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 317 ~The Movement, B, V~

I can’t have my ticket punched yet. I’m sure V is looking forward to his next walk. And I’m sure B would be pleased if I said, “Make Way For The King.” But I’d rather honk. My biggest concerns are my black balls, behind, and car. “The Movement, B, V”

Wednesday, May 14, 2025

Meditation 317 ~The Movement, B, V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… But only for the revolution. Do you want a “Revolution?” My Old Man’s fav from Kirk Franklin. Seriously.

I wish I could blame my Old Man for the state of the car. The “Check Engine Light” did come on with that clandestine trip HOME for Mother’s Day. That was a mistake, Dear Echo. Eight pieces of chicken wasn’t worth it. It beats eating like I’m in a “Vivarium.”

Echo, before all that, there’s been what? It, Desperation, The Stand, The Long Walk, ha! I’m going all out with the Stephen King books and movies, right? But they are my evolution. FEAR is it. I do feel Desperation, I need to make a Stand, The Stand. And every time I wake up, Inspector, it’s like I’m making The Long Walk all over again. And without my Braxton. And Inspector, I’m trying to save Virgil.

Don’t worry. Virgil’s not in any danger yet. But am I? Today is Monday, May 12, 2025. Or is it Tuesday by now. Have I gotten the car fixed? Can I even pay for it? The worry, Inspector Echo. Only three movements have meant anything to me today. Comedy right?

Virgil has been walked. He has food and water in what were once Braxton’s bowls. Inspector, I drove the car to the gas station to fill up. Check Engine Light remains. Inspector, the only movement that has mattered is pumping my hips or my hands, thinking of M Anime and everything we’ve been saying these past few days. Freaky? No wonder I keep mistakenly calling her Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom. She is trying, Inspector Echo.

Two E’s are in movement, but not one in Braxton Barks Bradford or Virgil Vivi Bradford. How can I love them and be so annoyed with their movements? Braxton shot right up to Heaven or crossed The Rainbow Bridge. While Virgil runs in abject terror.

Inspector, it’s far more than FOMO. Like Father, Like Son. How do I keep moving? I’ve been looking up quotes from The Long Walk to figure it out. I doubt Michael Dalton’s Vector has the answer I need. Is Victor a god now with all his power? A car dealership?

I’m sure I’ll be finding out the answer sitting in one sometime this week. Petrified? HARD for M Anime and Cherry. But I have to move. The Movement, B, V

1564 Days Without B III, Day 1005 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 316 ~Virgil, I’ll B Saying~

The last time I had to send Virgil to Braxton’s Room was because of a storm. He’s not one to control his bladder. And he could lose his sh*t. Speaking of which, the things that I say. I miss Braxton. I love sex, I’m afraid. Virgil, I’ll B Saying

Tuesday, May 13, 2025

Meditation 316 ~Virgil, I’ll B Saying~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? More than my boys? I plead the 5th. My love, I’m not that lying Trump.

I have my soft and hard limits, but may I never be as vulgar, vindictive, or vicious as those of MAGA. And yet one of my sons, Braxton, saw Trump’s end… Virgil sees Trump 2.0.

But no, I don’t want to talk about politics today, Monday, May 12, 2025. Or ever. But we have no choice in the matter. As I have no choice but to keep loving Braxton. Always.

And Virgil? I don’t love him as much as Braxton. Later V, Later Virgil as opposed to Love ya B, Love ya Braxton. And look at me crying again. It’s not only because of Braxton. Mother’s Day has been pretty HARD till now. And OH MY GOD, we’ll get to that. Only, I miss Braxton.

Would you rather listen to me cry over him love or sweat over you? Mourning or Moaning? Grieving or Grunting? Wiping my tears or Whipping my… Must I be gross?

“Should I say it out loud?

Yeah, I should. You can’t heal something unless you’re brave enough to say it out loud.

I’m scared, though. I’m scared to say it… which is why I have to.”
The Last of Us

Love, if anything, as Roger sang, “I Want To Be Your Man.” I need “Sexual Healing,” as Marvin Gaye spectacularly put it. What’s better than making Love “Between The Sheets.”

My boy isn’t the only one that can put together a playlist. But we’d have to send Braxton, Virgil, and our two-legged rugrats to bed. Especially considering who I want to be with you. Annoying? I can be that too, but at least I’m not crying anymore, but you, darling.

Well, I want to effing “Tear You Apart.” Because “You get me closer to God.”

And that’s the truth, “I Wanna Eff You.” But not only because I love you more than anything. (Braxton looks down on me from Heaven). I don’t have alternative facts; I have ADDITIONAL facts. Effing MAGA! Anyway, my love, I’m afraid. Yes, I’m worried, but it’s FEAR, my love. And it has begun to overwhelm me. But I’m “Just A Man.” A man provides, protects, and pets puppies. But Braxton isn’t here anymore. And a man isn’t supposed to call on a woman for help, but who else is there. My Ma? Anyone at all?

Love, I don’t know what to do. WHATEVER IT TAKES! I sound like one of my motivations, or Captain America. So what’s next. I have Virgil. Virgil, I’ll B Saying.

1563 Days Without B III, Day 1004 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will