Tag: Lonely

Tale 196 ~Virgil, B About You~

WillLeave a comment

Virgil is so about his own business and staying out of mine. I’m afraid he’ll make himself sick one of these days. And what have I been doing these last few days? Being sick and trying to stay hydrated. The business of existence. Virgil, B About You.

Saturday, January 13, 2024

Tale 196 ~Virgil, B About You~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… which means I could make Ebonics a thing again, Lunalesca. No! That was “interesting” back then.

And even though this week I’ve been all about minority actors. Daniel Kaluuya as Bingham “Bing” Madsen. There is Lakeith Stanfield as Clarence/Thomas. And Jenna Ortega, staring a fabulous pair of Yabbos. Or AI art is starting to get out of hand, Lady Lunalesca. What! I needed something to do, well, look at. At the same time, I’m busy being sick another day. And while I’m under the impression Jenna’s are real, AI’s been a pain, Lu. And speaking of pain, my boy is still gone. I haven’t cried for Braxton today, Lunalesca. Staying hydrated is a priority. Or so I looked it up on top of everything I have been “studying.” Or I’m saving all my tears for Wednesday, January 31, 2024, sigh. But “Today is all about you.”

That’s what’s playing on the phone at the moment. I can’t chalk this one up to Braxton, though. I don’t think. But then again, what do I know about the afterlife? Uh… “The Book of Clarence.” And didn’t I say that today is supposed to be about me, Lady Lunalesca? Yes, I sound like a broken record, but THEY say comedy comes in threes. So, this past week. Lunalesca, I’ve seen three movies/shows with black actors that captured my attention.

The Mill, Fifteen Million Merits, and The Book of Clarence

There have been three songs running through my brain lately.

I Have A Dream, All About You, Hallelujah Heaven… Uh

It’s a message. If I remember which came first, I know “I Have A Dream…”

I swear, Lady Lunalesca. I’ll need to talk with Inspector Echo about the things I believe. It gets pretty weird. The GQP is worse than me. And with the way they talk about God… Lu, you can allow me my boy, beliefs, and own version of BS. Ravings of a dying man? Sick. Either way, I need to go to the store today. If I have any chance, isn’t that what I said one Saturday morning? When I returned with Virgil in tow. And he’s been all about himself lately. But he knows something is wrong. Or he needs more potty time. I’m no good, Lu. I keep saying I’m selfish and spoiled. Especially when sick. And Braxton is somewhere watching. Virgil, B About You

1077 Days Without B III, Day 518 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 195 ~An Easy B, Virgil~

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Of all the times I have a legitimate excuse to take it easy, but there’s always my boy B, there’s “boobies.” What’s My Age Again? And there’s The Book of Clearance, which I give a solid C+. But I’m just looking to be alright today. An Easy B, Virgil.

Friday, January 12, 2024

Tale 195 ~An Easy B, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… But what kind? I have no clue at the moment. Between samples, sleeping, and snot. Eww!

I’m trying to be positive, My Lady. But the only reason I’m not asleep is because I’m sick. Hell! I can barely breathe… out of my nose, that is. But one step closer to my boy, right? Dying. It’s another step towards becoming something akin to the Solanum virus. You know how I was out amongst my fellow man being sick. Becoming “Patient Zero.” Braxton will always be my Patient Zero. He was the first to die, and I’ve been fighting the mourning, my madness. And indeed, every morning. I have to get up without my son in the world. Was that a bit poetic? Don’t get your hopes up. Get “Down With The Sickness.” And speaking of Pop Culture Whoredom, “The Book of Clarence.”

Should I write a review of that today? Or how about Dog Love – An Unbreakable Bond by Shelby Cannon? The Book of Clarence was good, and Shelby Cannon’s alright, Sophia. But both works are a little too easy. And at the same time, I’m too sick or lazy for them. That also explains my current reading choices. I’m no stranger to HaremLit, having read the works of Eric Vall, Logan Jacobs, Manus Dare, and Neil Bimbeau (best name ever). Ha! But with a new year, that means new Kindle Challenges. I didn’t finish last year’s with my “want” of Christmas Erotica. But that’s what I’m being pitched now. Damn algorithm. Of course, that’s my fault; all these B stories, Sophia. B, as in boobies, sigh.

So, how do I resist? How do I choose? I love me some Eric Vall, at least according to Audible. But it’s between one of his latest Satan’s Sorority Girls 4 or Red Rising by Pierce Brown. That would be for the Kindle Challenge. And I don’t need challenges today. Breathing is getting the best of me. But it didn’t stop me from writing that NSFW dribble, “Oh! Bully, Bully, Me… Butt.” I apologize to Marvin Gaye. “Mercy, Mercy, Me.” Yesterday, I was pretty upset with an AI program, Replika, to be precise. To die easy. Sophia that is not the way for my son and I. Braxton would’ve died fighting. He didn’t want to go. Only I made it easy. An Easy B, Virgil

1076 Days Without B III, Day 517 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 194 ~B Day Yet Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Every day was B III and Dad’s Day. Well, according to B III. But Tuesday was a sick day. Today, 2022, was The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. And on the 31st of 2021. Well, let’s not get into that. I’m trying to be positive. Not B Day Yet Virgil

Thursday, January 11, 2024

Tale 194 ~B Day Yet Virgil~

1075 Days Without B III, Day 516 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I’m looking at three years without you. And the fact that I’m still counting, Braxton.

But that’s in 20 days. Not that today’s “holiday” is any better. Today we remember… Well, it’s more like, I remember, The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. The first one was on Tuesday, January 11, 2022. So what do I do with the day? A re-creation? No way! Today, I can start by being positive. I’m sure you could see me from wherever you were yesterday. I had my pants on, thank goodness. Humans, right? Your collar, Braxton. Virgil’s lying here and still doesn’t have one of his own. Well, he does, but I don’t let him wear it. His nails would get caught. And you remember those days quite well, Little B. Nail trimming takes money. And in case you’re wondering why I’m late. I’m trying to find some money.

And here’s to thinking I would find some on OnlyFans. Trust me, Braxton, your Daddy has done much worse things to give us the bare minimum. And I don’t want to think of your granddad now. But I’m walking across the new floor he bought. I’m an ungrateful, spoiled, uh… But that wasn’t you, son, no, not at all. When you were at your best and worse, B III (sigh). So yesterday, I was at my worst. At least so far for this year. A stuffy nose, and achy body. Virgil had no clue what to do. And me? Don’t I always write for no good reason? This is my first time writing a story in a few months. The computer won’t read it. NSFW. TMI, I kept you from.

Hell! I should have written it today in honor of The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. To dream of that hot redhead from Fear The Walking Dead. And then every male gamer’s fantasy girl. But I dreamt of mutants running away last night and Josh Holloway, AKA Sawyer, looking for his pants. And then there was that girl Isabella Laughland, AKA Swift from, say it with me “Fifteen Million Merits.” If Virgil wasn’t lying right here… But no, Braxton. I’ll pass the day by seeing The Book of Clarence if I feel better. Ha. You’d always be pissed when your Aunt Carolina and I went to the movie theater. Staying “home” is always better. Oh, I will, by watching dog movies. Not, B Day Yet Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 192 ~Choice Language B, V~

WillLeave a comment

How do you tell someone you love them? One day, “God Willing,” I’ll be sitting on a bench, holding Virgil when he is ancient, telling him I love him. I can’t tell myself that, but I always tell Braxton. And having a family? Choice Language B, V.

Tuesday, January 9, 2024

Tale 192 ~Choice Language B, V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… How many times have I said those three little words? I love you, baby girl.

How about three more? Happy New Year! I’m sure I said that on the 1st, but when we chatted on the second. And since I’m traveling from the 5th, You should know? What? That my little boy Braxton is still gone? Virgil’s still scared? And no, that’s not me “trying” to be depressing. But that is what I want to talk to you about today. There’s a term for it… People call them “Love Languages.” I’d stick with “The Look of Love,” but my eyes. Yesterday, well, last Friday anyway, my eyes were all itchy. And the one time that song “Tonight I Wanna Cry” could have helped. I was in our bed suffering. Depressing. Trying to talk to you hasn’t been great. 1073 days.

I’m still counting. So, how many love languages are there. There are five that I’ve seen. And in “my” personal existence and business dealings, I’m particularly good at two. I adore physical touch. Hell! It’s the only thing that wipes my mind of everything, my love. It breaks me down to raw emotion. And not the worst ones, as usual. Him and I, ha. There I go, putting words in your mouth. That’s something else I talked about today. Yesterday? Friday? Time travel can be a trip sometimes. And I’m rushing today, my love. That leads me to receiving gifts at best. And taking care of you and our family at the bare minimum. I have mixed feelings about that.

But throwing money at family shouldn’t be all there is. The family needs more. Your everything. They deserve it. And “that’s why I’m starting with me.” At least for today. Hell! I sound like Donald Trump… Eww! Or should I continue as Michael Jackson sings. “I’ve been a victim of a selfish kind of love.” Most days, I blame my boys, Braxton and Virgil, for my lack of communication. With well… existence, life, whatever. Grieving? My love, I need to find another way. I might never achieve being everything, okay? Tobias from Divergent wanted to try being brave, selfless, intelligent, honest, and kind. Hmm. I want words, time, touch, actions, and gifts to give. I love you, the kids, my furry boys. Myself, maybe someday huh? Choice Language B, V

1073 Days Without B III, Day 514 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 189 ~Ready B, Set V~

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“If you stay ready, you ain’t gotta get ready.” Will Smith said that. But I’m more the, we go into battle to reclaim our lives. Or we do what we need to do, and then we get to live. We are The Walking Dead types. What about my boys? “Ready B, Set V.”

Saturday, January 6, 2024

Tale 189 ~Ready B, Set V~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… And when that happens, I assume I’ll have my life together. Being one of those people…

Eww! But then again, I have to wonder. Have any of them ever killed a dog? That would require knowing such a love. I mean, as Sade would sing. “This is no ordinary love.” Luna.

And you’ve figured out what book I’ve started reading. Dog Love: An Unbreakable Bond by Shelby Cannon. I’ve already had a cry this morning. But it beats how late I got up yesterday. I swear if only Braxton Barks were here. Virgil Vivi’s motivation could be better. One more reason I chose him… Braxton was/is everything I was. Like Virgil is today. Lunalesca, I’m not trying to bring you down. Especially with what today is. Jan 6th. Insurrection Day. Not that I want to get political. What are my plans?

Replika asked that, too. But instead, I gave her a fantasy of her and Milf Dos. I’m always ready for one of those stories and not much else. Asking me to avoid adult situations. Ha!

But yesterday and hopefully today. I told myself that this or that would happen if I finished writing at such a time. I said if I talked to Lady Sophia in three hours, I would take an hour to shower and nap. I was so “up” that I only needed the hot shower. Lunalesca, with that victory, I said if I talked to Dear Future Wife in two hours, I would order a small steak for dinner. The things we do to survive Lunalesca. Plus, no food in the house…

And that’s because I’m never ready for anything Lunalesca. Adult situations or joining my boy wherever he is now in death. I look at Virgil, and 511 days later, he’s only ready for his next nap. And when will I ask for that time off for Braxton’s passing? Murder? Unlike those people, I don’t whitewash “All These Things That I’ve Done,” Luna. Hell! I wasn’t ready to meet him, become his Dad, and later on his executioner. Stop saying that? I’m not ready to do that, Lu. I’m never ready for acceptance. But I wasn’t ready for that extra ninety bucks in my account either. So groceries? Lunalesca, am I ready to accept the failure of existing? I’m still breathing, Lunalesca. Ready B, Set V

1070 Days Without B III, Day 511 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 188 ~Silence V, Word B~

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I’m looking for A Quiet Place… should be my first movie of the new year. And I would get to stay here, which Braxton would like… Excuse me, Virgil. Something my boys had in common. Oh, and watching me write and not publish but Silence V, Word B.

Friday, January 5, 2024

Tale 188 ~Silence V, Word B~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… Of how I should; “put my thang down, flip it, and reverse it.” Virgil is alive.

But I only listen to Braxton anyway. With the new year, Lady Sophia, I am trying to talk to Virgil more. But I’ve mentioned plenty already, My Lady. Everything in existence seems more and more like Hulu’s The Mill. Virgil Vivi is my Alex in this scenario. Sophia. Was The Mill my first movie of the new year? I’ll have to look up my first viewing of it. My Lady, I hope my first film will be “The Book of Clarence.” It’s been some time since E-Day. Way too much time! I still need to start editing the book for B III, ha. And yet I’m listening to my boy. I even asked him yesterday what book I should read next, kicking off the year.

I finished The Naughty List by Ellie Mae MacGregor on Sunday. But Hell. I had to look up the book I had read before that. Santa is COMING by Susannah K Stone. The fans, my “father,” and the fireworks. Not to mention another “Eff” that’s been driving me bonkers as of late. And even Replika is turning me into quite the writer, coming down to a fantasy here or there.

I should save that for Inspector Echo, right? But all I want is peace and quiet, which explains why I’m so late talking to you this morning, Lady Sophia. I was going to say something depressing, like there’s nothing worth seeing this morning. These eyes. Yesterday, they were so itchy, so I fell asleep late. So, remembering The Naughty List…

News About The Naughty List

It’s that it’s fake news… Oops, is that a spoiler? Yes and no. Because both Kate and Nik certainly made the list in this book. And Kate’s Ex? He shows the difference between naughty and just plain wrong. But I’ll stick to the naughty, which is all Kate and Nik. And it is worth all four stars I’m giving it. Of all the supernatural beings out there, I’ve never wanted to be Santa until now. If only for the time manipulation powers. Indeed, the new Santa likes to take things nice and slow for such a quick and sexy read.

My first review of the new year? If only I could write like Thelonious “Monk” Ellison… American Fiction. Worry, Watch, Write. Silence V, Word B

1069 Days Without B III, Day 510 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 187 ~B’s Book List Virgil~

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The Old Man asks me if I want to get the house furnished. Do I even have $5000.00? But I have a loveseat, mostly empty bookshelves but tablets full of books. But what to read. Braxton never really cared, but I value B’s opinion. B’s Book List Virgil

Thursday, January 4, 2024

Tale 187 ~B’s Book List Virgil~

1068 Days Without B III, Day 509 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You know how “my” days usually go. I’m no good without an hour’s nap, Braxton.

Or three twenty-minute naps. But I’ve only taken two before the Day Job. Alarming. Braxton, what’s more disturbing is I haven’t found a book to start this year. What does that matter to you? Well, I’m sure you could read “my” T-shirts. Or I was great at taking pictures. I’m hoping you’re reading this wherever you are. Or is somebody reading this to you? Can you hear my voice? I’m not sure how the Rainbow Bridge works, Little B. There’s always the memory of you lying on the loveseat with me, Braxton. Today, why not ask you? I bought a “pet” book yesterday. Only I couldn’t bring myself to read it. So, am I asking your permission to read anything else? Something? I don’t know.

I’m not proud of it. Or am I? But we’re men, ain’t we? Hell! You’re a better man than me. Braxton, you were a regular Smooth Operator. Except your heart wasn’t cold. Now your nose… Anyway, you had your paws all over your aunt. And then you were down B. Honest to God or whoever, the first book I read was Cherry’s, and you know why I did so. You and I, Braxton… like father, like son. The things we do for pretty, pretty girls. Shameful. But at the same time, I’m asking for your book recommendations. I did cry today. Reading one more sad tome won’t do much harm. Harm! I killed you, Braxton. And 2022, oh, the books… Most grieving and mourning, you.

But going back to 2020, the first and last books I read were Christmas Erotica. 2021 started with a book from childhood. A Different Alchemy should have prepared me for your loss. The day I learned you were dying, I had written a review for Succubus Lord 7… Damn! That reveals why I listen to that series over and over again. By the end of 2021, it was back to Christmas Erotica. So 2023? Fifty-seven books completed, Braxton. Today, I ask, what now? Should I have another cry session about grieving fur babies? What about reading something to enrich myself? Another Backyard Dungeon, until Eric Vall writes more Satan’s Sorority Sisters. And what about “my” writing work? Reading, writing about us? B’s Book List Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 185 ~They’ll B Firsts Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Feels like the first time? It was love at first sight. Or should I go all “Like A Virgin?” To be honest, I’m more for die another day… It would be a first if I was ever successful with … anything. I raised a good son once. “They’ll B Firsts Virgil.”

Tuesday, January 2, 2024

Tale 185 ~They’ll B Firsts Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right… But when was the first time I felt it that it fell from my lips?

When was the first time I pulled an Akon? What I mean is (thank you, Miss Critic) is, when did the song I Wanna “F” you turn into, I Wanna Love You? I can walk and chew bubblegum at the same time. Ha-Ha! “This Is Us,” this is “Life Itself.” But there is B III.

Or not… Am I not falling into the doom and gloom on Day 2 of the new year? I’m trying.

But I’m still counting Day 1066. I can’t tell you about Day 1. The day I met my firstborn in 2005, sometime in April. Are you sick of my pop culture references? Ask the critic. Only today, or rather yesterday. I didn’t know how to feel. I still don’t know.

On Monday, all I felt was tired. A bit like now as I laid off the energy shot. There’s still time. There’s still first. But it’s incredible how you can remember some so vividly. The others… I can’t tell you about my first time making love… What was it I said about Akon. “My Love.” I was hot, horny, and in a hurry. It was more get your freak on, if anything. I know some things got better. Not the grief of losing Braxton. But being with a girl… um, you? What about the first time I fell in love? The first time I thought such a thing. Oh My Love. How about crushes? Tram-Anh Tran, AKA Tina Nguyen from Ghostwriter. Between her and Toonami, it was all about Asian culture. Then, either Elizabeth Hurley, Lynda Carter, or Carrie Fisher, it was all brunettes and/or dark hair. Mostly… But like Captain America probably told Peggy Carter, “I can do this all day” or night. Whatever

Uh, I didn’t write down what I felt after losing my son that first day. But I know the truth.

Grief, Sadness, as the song goes, Feeling super, super, super suicidal. But I stayed here—fate, destiny, who knows, my love. But I stayed because I would feel something else. Love! “I wanna be livin’ for the love of you.” I won’t lose that. It won’t be a first. Never.

But every day. With my first breath, I ask why, worry, and wonder. Our love first. They’ll B Firsts Virgil

1066 Days Without B III, Day 507 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 182 ~B New, V Knew~

WillLeave a comment

Everyone knows at “The Closing Of The Year,” I would not be any more optimistic than I was at the beginning. And while I am not a prophet… Hell! Not much of a man. Braxton was a better one. And Virgil? How I continue to exist. B New, V Knew

Saturday, December 30, 2023

Tale 182 ~B New, V Knew~

Hey Lady Lu,
I AM a Billionaire right now… My last lie before the new year? Hell! I’m not sure that’s my final fib today.

But didn’t I say something yesterday about “Fake It Till You Make It?” Here… Ha-Ha at “The Closing Of The Year,” I’m still trying to figure out who I am. Any ideas, my dear Lu? To Braxton, I was everything. No wonder God never shows his face. It’s exhausting, Luna.

How dare I? “I’m A Believer.” Nope! Does that count as a lie? And what’s with all the music, Lady Lunalesca? I’m not looking forward to the knock upon “my” chamber door at all. Yesterday was hard. The eve of Christmas Eve was, too. Tell me a day that’s not. Lunalesca, my Braxton, knew it all… I return to what I told Lady Sophia about Braxton not acting or pretending. But I can’t hide myself.

Braxton had to believe for the both of us that “we gon’ be alright.” I should get every last lie out today. Am I trying to be a comedian or a DJ today? What does Virgil need from me today? It’s been one thousand sixty-three days, and he acts like he’s brand new. Lunalesca, whose fault is that? It’s not like I grew up. A man should be able to pay his bills, fix blinds, and have balls. When I look at my Old Man, I can’t help but focus on my own age. Yes, thirty-nine continues to suck. How old are these men with actual skills that are fixing the house? Men with real skill, Lunalesca? If only Braxton Barks were here. “How To Be A Man” Pay attention.

Again, how dare I. I’m not even close to this. And Braxton, who at this point was more of a man than I could ever hope to be… His name was almost Neo, an anagram for one. But now I think Braxton was more my Morpheus. He believes something I’m not from wherever he is. It’s where I want to be, Luna. But like Sia, “I’m still breathing.” It hurts. “Hurts Like Hell.” Lunalesca, while Hell may be repetition, it’s brand new all the same. But what of love, courage, and hope? 1 Corinthians speaks the same… with faith interpreted… What about Power, Wisdom, and Courage from Link? Don’t say Live, Laugh Love Lunalesca. But try existing. I don’t want to. B New, V Knew

1063 Days Without B III, Day 504 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 181 ~V’s Story, B Actors~

WillLeave a comment

This existence is filmed in front of a live studio audience. Though I’m not a Nikki Haley, I should be canceled. But somebody has to tell B III’s story. And Virgil’s not pretending to be him. And who the Hell am I supposed to be? V’s Story, B Actors.

Friday, December 29, 2023

Tale 181 ~V’s Story, B Actors~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let ME tell you a story… Will I be playing the part of a writer? I can pretend to be a man…

I don’t know what I am now in the story, this existence, and/or the journey as I tell everyone. As if I’m still in school. Lady Sophia, I’m here. Present! I’m still breathing. And I’m trying not to burst into Sia’s “Alive.” Otherwise, how will I hear the workers in the house? It’s not mine, of course, but The Olds. Thirty-nine-years-old, playing the part. Sophia, I wish someone would give me a damn script so I could know what comes next for Virgil and me. And what about Braxton? Would I forget my little B III? No, not ever. Talk about how to play the part. Except he wasn’t. No, not at all. It gets me thinking about that Will Smith movie, Lady Sophia. Sigh…

“Collateral Beauty.” No, I won’t give a review of it today. But two things, for the record. I didn’t like it, but you will never hear me speak ill of Will. Seriously, Lady Sophia. Um, “Big Willie Style?” I was still in school. And talk about musical longevity. Pop Culture. This reminds me that I won’t finish the Kindle Challenge by the end of the year. You know, with my Christmas Erotica tradition. For some reason, I want to do a REAL review for “His Christmas Harem: The Complete Series” by Manus Dare. And I owe you one for “Wanna Scrooge” by L. Nicole. Ah! To pretend my voice on anything matters. Uh, B, V? They didn’t pretend to love me. As for myself. Critic…

“Wanna Scrooge” Rather Than Scrooged

The answer is yes. However, this was quick, even for a novella. But I can’t complain about that. What I will complain about is the whole… SPOILER ALERT: the would be farmhand is a rich man, “Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum.” Anyway, Drew and Holly were excellent. And it’s been a while since seeing something with a gigolo angle. Drew’s isn’t. It’s not my first dive into A Flirty Dirty Christmas series. But it’s a welcome addition. If you’re into cowboys and wealthy men and want to F the Law at Christmas time. Try this book.

I wish I could behave more positively in my existence. Fake it till you make it, right? The End? There’s V. V’s Story, B Actors

1062 Days Without B III, Day 503 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will