Tag: Memorial

Journey 143 ~Braxton And Virgil Turn-In~

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I haven’t read about anyone taking my Day Job shifts. Am I anxious to read my Day Job walking papers? What do I know? I was reading the wrong book today. And if I intend to finish my one book a week… But if I don’t work… “Braxton And Virgil Turn-In.”

Friday, November 21, 2025

Journey 143 ~Braxton And Virgil Turn-In~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… That’s assuming I can still read. Do I still have the money to buy more books?

As of this moment… Yes. Even if I’m reading the wrong book. And Braxton knows what’s going to happen on Wednesday. I’m still STUPID, sad, and scared out of my effing mind, my lady. And speaking of ladies, wanking off to some girl making out with her boyfriend isn’t helping. Eww! Sounds like something I’d read in a book not meant for B and V.

Happy memories? You know I don’t do happy Sophia. But I was reading books featuring Cuckoldry, Netorare/NTR, and Harems long before my “Relationship” with M Anime even began. And now I think I keep going because much like reading about fur buddies passing away, reading about voyeurism, lovers being used, exhibitionists, and yes, harems, there’s something therapeutic about it, Sophia.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

But then again, no 150-word Depression cap. I’ll be as sad as I want to be over my B III. The way he and Virgil do now, sleep when I’m reading things they shouldn’t read and things I don’t want to read. Although what I was reading this morning… Accidental.

“Pledged To Him 7” by Neil Bimbeau. Except I never read “Pledged To Him 6.” Seriously, my lady, my boys aren’t the only ones who need to turn in. Not that I sleep well, Sophia.

I look at the alarm clock as prisoners must do on their last day. Someone said love doesn’t tell time, but neither does FEAR. Every minute and every moment. Sorry, McVries.

Honestly, Sophia, like Peter McVries from “The Long Walk.”

“Don’t think about making it to the end. Think about making it to the next moment,”
McVries, The Long Walk

“He lost his appetite for the carrot.”
The Long Walk

I’m more like Stebbins. But it isn’t that I lost my “appetite for the carrot.” I see it, I want it, but I’ll never reach it. And even if I get to rest a while and take a bite. I CAN’T DO THIS, Sophia. “I dare you to tell me to walk through fire.” Shinedown and all that. I can’t.

I read my Day Job schedule. And if I can’t do as they ask, then… I’m reading a pink slip.

At best, I’m reading a report on my record. That’s if I’m lucky. I’m fortunate to be the father of two. However, one of them is now in a box. And Virgil. He doesn’t read the bag, but he’s got food. Braxton And Virgil Turn-In.

1755 Days Without B III, Day 1196 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 142 ~V Visits Because Braxton~

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I could find someone to cover… It’s the week of Black Friday. I could be a no-call, no-show. Of course, I’d call or go in and say I can’t. Humiliations Galore. I could have a heart attack from worrying about it, “Forty-One.” V Visits Because Braxton.

Thursday, November 20, 2025

Journey 142 ~V Visits Because Braxton~

1754 Days Without B III, Day 1195 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? There wasn’t a vet visit. The maid “Special K” didn’t come over. Your Favorite Girl?

You know the six months prior to her becoming your Favorite Girl. So much barking.

That’s what I’m going to do today, B III. I’m going bark, b*tch, and bu… Uh, TMI, my buddy. Sorry! And I did that over a pair of Asian girls I’ve been watching lately because…

Business, bucks, and who doesn’t like a good bukkake scene… Oh, that’s gross, I know.

But we men ain’t we B. We two, we three, counting your brother, Virgil. Who thankfully left me alone awhile… The food truck wasn’t here today. But what is here, my little one, is this. FEAR. I’m still freaking out. I believe in polite circles, it’s called a “Panic Attack.” So, not Braxton, I won’t be finding courage, and the crying is different—Daddy’s cowardice.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

It ain’t Depression. It’s FEAR. And I’m going to explain it like you were a person. Get it, B? Because people are STUPID. As Snake Plissken said, “Welcome to the Human Race.” B. And isn’t it IRONIC… don’t you think,” that it’s people I’m trying to avoid next week. So, am I going to tell you the story or not? I wish I weren’t so effing hungry, B III. Damn!

Ok, so next week I’m doing something called Return Drop. The critical part B, People.

I had a Panic Attack a few years back. You might have guessed, given that I came back to you early. Well, now it’s on the schedule. Black and white. Black Friday. No way out.

I have until Tuesday to escape my fate, Little B. Then I might be visiting unemployment because, as I was screaming at Inspector Echo yesterday. I CAN’T DO THIS! Braxton…

I’m afraid. I could always drop dead. You don’t know how often I wish for that. And yes, I know “it ain’t right, it ain’t right, it ain’t right, it isn’t right. That sht is wrong.” But I’m not the “Head of State” either. Someone who can be scared shtless, sinful, skeevy, STUPID, and proud of it. I’m only a scared man who’s been visiting his Day Job for over a decade. And I believe I’ll be coming home to Virgil next week without a paycheck. It’s called a Panic Attack. V Visits Because Braxton

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 139 ~Braxton, A NOISY Virgil~

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It’s day-to-day for me. Is it the silence or the noise that scares me more? The alarm clock, 2-V crying, and everyone asking me why I wasn’t playing DJ today. Or B III’s loss, my sleeping, and the augmenting of reality… Braxton, A NOISY Virgil.

Monday, November 17, 2025

Journey 139 ~Braxton, A NOISY Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Not just noise, not the sniff, sniff of my nose, or in other words, breathing. Not nothing or never.

But your son. Though right now, to you at least, I sound like the Can You Hear Me Now” guy from Verizon. That was one of the great things about us, Dad. You talk a lot about how Virgil has my eyes but our ears. Scary, sleepy, satisfied, whatever we heard, everything and then some. And then there was the silence. We were safe, Daddy.

Honestly, how do you feel after today? We’re talking over “The Weeknd” ha-ha because today, well… What could I tell you that you would believe? Steve, Bob Marely, and I.

I want to say that “every little thing is gonna be alright.” “Everything is gonna be okay,” like Blue’s Clues.

I remember Steve from Blue’s Clues. Pokémon. I would sit in your lap as you played video games. The wonders of the glow box. You even did the Dad thing and said it would rot my brain when you left it on when you went somewhere. The bad place? Negativity.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

I won’t add to that noise, Daddy. If anything, one of the best sounds in the world spent in front of the glow box was you, me, and my Favorite Girl watching movies together. Dad?

Next to you, hearing how I would call to you without a sound. It was your breathing, the beat of your heart. The being you, not just with me but with her. Second Favorite person…

Yeah, that wasn’t family. But I hope you hear when I say this. My father…

You are my person, my human, my Dad, definitely my Favorite Boy. And today Dad…

You’re still breathing, you’re alive. That’s the noise I long to hear on days like this one, Dad. Is it better when Sia sings it? “Alive?” It’s not like you got to listen to it at the bad place, right? As you would say, that’s not negativity; it’s simply the truth. And you are here, Dad. But if I were there in that bad place with you, I’m sure that my barking would have stopped anyone from asking you anything to hurt you. And Virgil wants to cover one of your ears as you have an AirPod in the other. There’s noise and what’s worth listening to. And what is that? Braxton, A NOISY Virgil

“You’re a special person to the universe in ways I don’t think you know.”
― Bikini Magic by Michael Dalton

“A hideous noise of shouting rose to the heavens as young men fought and fell under the iron hand of Mars.”
From ― The Aeneid

1751 Days Without B III, Day 1192 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 137 ~Braxton Flies, Virgil Runs~

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I crawled out of bed, I walked Virgil, I ran to feed him, and I was standing in front of my phone while I… Do I still have an OnlyFans for that? Anyway, I have no idea where I’m going. The story of my life. While Braxton Flies, Virgil Runs.

Saturday, November 15, 2025

Journey 137 ~Braxton Flies, Virgil Runs~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… However, I was reminded that Katy Perry and others paid $27 million to take a ride.

Thank you @illyashojaei. If spending three minutes makes Katy an astronaut, then I’m a gynecologist. Not that I’ll be seeing M Anime’s lady parts in the flesh anytime soon.

Honestly, I haven’t thought about “my ex” much. And instead of dreaming about Anime’s yabbos or Mars Bitches, red rocks Yay yayee! Too much YouTube this morning, my Dear Lady Lunalesca. If it helps, I’m not in bed and that’s what I’ve been dreaming about, ha.

Oh, and somebody was talking about having a movie marathon of “Stand by Me,” “The Long Walk,” and “The Running Man.” Stephen King, goddamit! I’m such a potty mouth today.

I hate being late, my dog/son Braxton, “my Day Job,” and getting away from Depression.

“Don’t Take It Personal” Lunalesca.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

“Just One Of Dem Days” And “I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo.” But most importantly…

Lunalesca, I’m stuck. FEAR! Sometimes it’s the most sinful, or the STUPIDEST, and at others it’s the simplistic. I’ve had the whole week off, and you know what I’ve been thinking about at the Day Job? The speaker. If I play DJ again, there’s pressure, and if I don’t, then guess what? It means I effed up and somebody else does. So what happens next?

Humiliations Galore! And it’s like the fifth of November all over again with that girl.

Richards Lives! So does Virgil. And even my Braxton, in a heavenly sort of existence.

Lunalesca, I can’t just be a body. I must continue The Long Walk. Always, forever…

Seriously, I feel like The Running Man. And what’s my crime? What’s my prize?

Lunalesca? Friendship? Virgil and I are still working on that. It’s nothing like B III, okay.

I keep walking, but there is no finish line. Braxton and I got the wrong ending. I would have gladly sat down for him. But then again, Futurama “Jurassic Bark.” I’d say it broke my heart. I didn’t know heartbreak until Braxton’s… Which is why I took M Anime’s betrayal…

And I feel like I’m always running. Only then to ask myself why I’m tired. I gave Braxton his wings, and at least Virgil knows what he’s running from. As for myself, Dear Lady Lunalesca. I’m wanking, walking, and whining. Winning? Braxton Flies, Virgil Runs

1749 Days Without B III, Day 1190 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 136 ~Braxton, Virgil, Moving On~

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Run boy run… On the grounds that I want to make it back to my bed. Any move I make is towards being on my back, be it reading a good book, some beauty’s boobs, or joining my Braxton in what lies beyond the Rainbow Bridge. “Braxton, Virgil, Moving On”

Friday, November 14, 2025

Journey 136 ~Braxton, Virgil, Moving On~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… And it always begins with my boys. Doesn’t it? Will I even finish Michael Dalton’s book?

Better Bikini Magic than the thought of losing my Braxton, always and forever. But Soph?

There are two things I must make 100% abundantly clear. One, I know that’s not healthy, or at least that’s what all the pet loss books preach. And two, there is no such thing as ACCEPTANCE! Is Braxton gone? Yes. Is Virgil his reincarnation? No? He eats from Braxton’s bowl and dish, for God’s sake. He is not the “Return of the Mack. Do I exist in a universe without the physical manifestation of my firstborn son? Always and forever.

So “Papa Don’t Preach,” and “Mary Don’t You Weep.” No Woman, No Cry.” But me?

Well, I won’t be keeping that 150-Depression Cap today. There are too many stories, Sophia.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

How many will I buy today? Ones that I don’t have the ability to change in any way, shape, or form. Like the thirty-six bucks I spent at the movies on Thursday. “The Running Man.”

We’ll get to that. But I want to talk more about the subject that’s been plaguing me, or rather, all of us. Artificial Intelligence (AI), Augmenting Reality, or as MAGA puts it, Alternative Facts. It’s everywhere, my lady, and last night showed its corrosive effects.

Thankfully, I ain’t that asshat in the Oval Office FDT! Dumping “waste” on people, Eww!

But it’s like a writer’s power. Again, I think about my EX, M Anime. She joined a harem, and it gets me off thinking of her spreading her legs. Eww!

Cuckoldry/NTR. I don’t kink shame, my lady. Unless, um, you dump on people. Or feet.

None of that was in The Running Man last night. However, they did say some rude things about Ben Richards’ wife. And I wanted to do some obscene things to Laughlin/Katy O’Brian. Will I ever move on from yabbos, my yard stick, and doing you know what, my dear lady? Hell, I can’t say I’ve moved on from 1987’s “The Running Man.” But 2025’s well…

The story resonates with what’s happening in the world today—another Stephen King work indeed.

Seriously, he is one smart Mothereffer. I wish my novels were like that—the story of my life. Virgil will keep his. Movie receipts. Dog food. Braxton, Virgil, Moving On

1748 Days Without B III, Day 1189 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 135 ~Braxton and Virgil Repair~

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The fix is in… Nope. Nothing is changing for me today. Well, other than having to break up a paycheck in two since I didn’t work this week. Breaking open a bag of dog food for V. And breaking the bank to see The Running Man. Braxton and Virgil Repair

Thursday, November 13, 2025

Journey 135 ~Braxton and Virgil Repair~

1747 Days Without B III, Day 1188 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Mine? Ahem. “There is no love here, and there is no pain. Every day…” Blah.

I do like that song “Every Day Is Exactly The Same.” But I find myself wanting to shout that MAGA battle cry of “I don’t want reality!” And you remember, when I would come back from the Day Job, either we’d be too busy catching our breaths walking or stuffing our faces to talk. Then came napping, and then and only then could you “Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.” What sound am I running from today? All or none, pick one B III.

“When you’re too in love to let it go,” M Anime, you, V, the Man in the Mirror on Sunday.

I can’t fix this in 150 words or less. I’m sorry, B III. I ask others to allow me yaboos/boobs, so allow me to boo-hoo.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Today, I’m sad. Well, every day I’m sad, but I feel it more this morning. But how to fix it?

Even when Braxton was here and Virgil is here now, I didn’t know how. And maybe I should stop watching those, let’s say, “Alpha men” videos before bed, and dreaming? Honestly, Braxton, last night I had the most racist dreams, and I don’t know whether to blame MAGA or Tony Weaver Jr. It took me forever to find his name, B III. And why ha!

I only remember him screaming out, “GET SOME THERAPY.” Would that fix me, B III?

You didn’t know your Daddy back then. I was psychoanalyzed up the yin yang. And it didn’t take, B III.

I found courage with you; cash didn’t matter because it was you. And some P.Y.T.’s c*nt… Must I be so crass? What can I say, I’m feeling mean. Anyway, you like your favorite girl. And M Anime and I didn’t become a thing until four years after you left us.

So she’s more Virgil’s problem, and he can’t fix that. And nothing can fix me. Only that could be a lie. As I sit here thinking about going to see “The Running Man” tonight, B.

Yeah, you hated movie nights outside the house. Just me and your favorite girl. Jealous?

No, just hurting. “Guess we’re one in the same.” But you’re not broken anymore, Braxton.

I’m just broke—no hours for Braxton and Virgil Repair.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 132 ~Crawl of Braxton, Virgil~

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A hop, skip, and a jump; more like carrying, to teaching how to walk, and then B was jumping on the bed. Hell, he slept there like I did? And now… breakfast. Not in his final days. He climbed and crawled, and I carried him. “Crawl of Braxton, Virgil”

Monday, November 10, 2025

Journey 132 ~Crawl of Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Did you have a good day? I should ask, did you have a good night? You look like… Dad.

On top of being colorblind, you always looked like you, Daddy. A contradiction of what I said last week. Perhaps. You were louder sometimes. Some humans say, Love is Louder.

Another thing you humans say is that something is larger than life. You were Dad—a god held in the arms of a titan. We never said that, but the angel on your shoulder, Dad.

That’s me. And ladies’ men… Greta, my favorite girl, that maid Special K. M Anime…

Always and forever, forever and always. That’s what you taught me, my father. You live!

Ain’t that the thing, you live by that. “If you call, I will answer.” Isn’t that a Barenaked Ladies song? Do I know you, Dad, or what? That band name…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

But “Love Is A Long Road”, it’s wobbly first steps, a walk through the neighborhood, and “The Way” I made it onto your bed the first time to have a taste of waffles. French Toast?

I don’t recall what it was, but did you ever think it wasn’t the food that called to me, Dad?

I’m not an elephant, nor am I a ladybug, or an Asian Lady Beetle. I’m not an ant, my father. One more reason we’re having this conversation. We’re back on ants again with the weather. They want to get warm, find something wet, or get waffles. Or it’s you, Dad.

The wrong things want you, dark thoughts about a woman, that little dog, and my brother Virgil, and the dead.

Are we those wrong things? Really? It would explain why you don’t “Put One Foot in Front of the Other. Dad, “One Foot In Front Of The Other.” You’re not trying to drown me out.

I learned how to walk, jump, and fly because of you. That’s not negativity, but the truth, and I’m so thankful and will forever be. All I ask is that you do what you taught.

Honestly, I do mean being a jetsetter because again last night I felt it. Father. FEAR is not meant to be always and forever. I once called to you, I climbed to you, and crawled.

Daddy, Till I Collapse. Virgil is learning to do the same. Some women will. Your turn. Crawl of Braxton, Virgil.

“If you can’t fly, then run, if you can’t run, then walk, if you can’t walk, then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.”
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

“Through chances various, through all vicissitudes, we make our way…”
The Aeneid

1744 Days Without B III, Day 1185 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 130 ~Braxton, Virgil, Bad Boys~

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I remember my son, B, for living his best life and then the worst day of mine. All the bad things he did. Nothing compares to Sunday, January 31, 2021. How’s V bad? I have to clean his bed, then he’s sleeping in mine. “Braxton, Virgil, Bad Boys”

Saturday, November 8, 2025

Journey 130 ~Braxton, Virgil, Bad Boys~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Not Martin Lawrence or Will Smith. Me. Don’t I wish. And what did I wish for?

Yesterday, the words were, “I wish I had never been born.” That statement still stands.

And speaking of standing, I don’t want to do much more of that either. You don’t get paid to stand around. Is that what I was doing at my Day Job? I didn’t get any hours next week. I had to double-check to ensure that someone else was not doing just as badly. Ok, how MAGA of me. I sound like a damn Cracker Hat. Someone has to lose Lunalesca.

Today it feels like me. And what about my boys? Braxton’s gone. Virgil’s sleeping, Lu.

And that’s bad. I wish I could tell you that I’m worse. 150-Word Depression, Lunalesca.

I have to make up for yesterday. With that said…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Feeling bad means that at some point, you were “Feeling Good” in a Nina Simone, George Michael sort of way. I’m sitting here trying to remember the last good day.

Lunalesca, I lack the day but the feeling. I was at the food truck yesterday, and when the lady saw me, she smiled and immediately asked, “You want the fried shrimp? It beats being called Ma’am at any and all drive-thrus. That’s not me being negative, it’s the truth and nothing more. With nothing but some wings and shrimp in the fridge, I’ll head out.

A burger, maybe, or how about some tacos? I haven’t spent my grocery money, Lunalesca. Groceries, see, I can say it better than the Orange Turd owning the White House.

My boys are better men than him and all of MAGA. And Virgil has more sense than I give him credit for… Messing up his bed so he can come in here and sleep next to me. I mean, that is a plan. And I could use one of those, or “I could really use a wish right now,” Lunalesca. And there was a time I wanted to fly “Airplanes.” But being a bad boy.

I write of dirty, depraved, and disgusting worlds… And I’m pretty proud of it, Lunalesca.

Better to get the bad out of me than to let it fester into… Well, things the Cracker Hats do. I raised two bad boys into good men, well, doggos: me, Braxton, Virgil, Bad Boys.

1742 Days Without B III, Day 1183 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 129 ~Father’s B-Roll Advice, Virgil~

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If you want my advice, “Go To Sleep.” I told Braxton that all the time and on his last day… I don’t have to tell V that. He hopes he can get beside me without me pushing him to the edge or back to the foot of the bed. “Father’s B-Roll Advice, Virgil”

Friday, November 7, 2025

Journey 129 ~Father’s B-Roll Advice, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… 1983’s “A Christmas Story.” My favorite Christmas movie, though I don’t give a damn about Christmas.

Hell, “MY” favorite Christmas story didn’t even happen on Christmas. It was when my Ma got me Pokémon Stadium for the N64. I became an atheist around that time, Sophia.

Next to that, there was the Christmas I was playing the N64 before “Santa arrived…”

Wait a minute… Atheist? It was before I became a DogDad, a father. While I cannot say “I Believe” in America anymore. Effing MAGA, FDT! I won’t believe a soul like my Braxton was lost to the void. And Virgil is my child, too. I believe as I believe, Sophia.

Honestly, why? It’s just the way I am, as Eminem put it. So you’ll have to excuse me today, my Lady. No, 150-word Depression cap. I’m going all in. So…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Sorry, not today, Lady Sophia.

Ok, I wish I had never been born. It is why I’m not qualified to advise my sons, my Lady.

But stories, these words, these words, these words, they have power. And my stories, uh.

Inspired by TikTok, I’ve been rereading “The Scorpion and the Frog.” The moral of it.

Comedy comes in threes. My son B III. His brother Virgil has three black spots along his back. And ask me what I care about in this existence. The boys, Braxton and Virgil, and sometimes even myself. Second, books and writing. Lastly, bucks or boobs/yabbos.

I swear a fool and his money… “I Need A Dollar” for food, but I pay to WATCH women eff because that’s the man I am. I lose friends, Sophia.

Family? What about a future? Hell, my effing sanity as I’ve been trying on positivity.

Only I can’t be a prolific writer, programming myself into a pornstar and puppy papa.

“A man chasing two rabbits ends up hungry; A wise man grows carrots.” Not a whole story… But again, words I can’t forget. No wonder I’m so tired, I’m trying to be “Many Men.” Not “Just A Man,” and none of them are good. The writer doesn’t get paid, the programmer does bad things, though I made $12. And the puppy papa? Well, V’s alive.

But what do I tell him? What did I tell Braxton? Be good, puppy. And as far as advice for myself? There are questions without answers. Father’s B-Roll Advice, Virgil

1741 Days Without B III, Day 1182 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 128 ~Don’t B Forgetful, Virgil~

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I’ve forgotten what it’s like not to be tired. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to wake up without fear. And I forgot about happiness way before I turned Forty-One. But I remember I am alive. 2-V lives, and B showed me how to. Don’t B Forgetful, Virgil.

Thursday, November 6, 2025

Journey 128 ~Don’t B Forgetful, Virgil~

1740 Days Without B III, Day 1181 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Mine, you ask? Combine The Long Walk with losing M Anime, and what’s for dinner?

I saw the schedule for next week, so that last thing is going to be a B*tch. I remember when “Yorkie” Greta would come after you. Hungry Like The Wolf, my dear Mr. B III.

Today, as I fought low blood sugar at the Day Job, I thought about what we remember and what we forget. Yes, I mourn you every day. But what about M Anime? She was easy.

No, not like that. I mean, years of friendship and potentially making M your stepmom…

Thrown out like the trash. What made me so forgettable? And last night I repeated that prayer from Red Dawn. I wish I could forget being born. You wish I’d forget such an idea, but Depression over… 150-Word Cap. Sigh…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

“Memories of things that never happened. These are always the hardest to forget.”
Thomas Dolby

I wish I could forget the day you left B. Hell! I wish I could forget that whole damn week!

That’s not me being negative, but honest. Again, at the Day Job, there is a song that’s constantly playing. Pink and not Mariah Carey; Cover Me In Sunshine vs. All I Want For Christmas Is You. Cover Me In Sunshine is everything I want to remember about us, B III.

“Cover me in sunshine
Shower me with good times
Tell me that the world’s been spinning since the beginning
And everything will be alright.”
Pink

I want to remember how you lived, not just your last moments. Living, not dying.

Remember the Memories? Clone High was before your time, but I watched it with you.

Off topic, I know. But I want to remember hearing you when I found your little brother Virgil at PetSmart. He wants to remember me.

It’s one of the reasons Virgil has been so cuddly lately. And when he cries, I have to call to him to come into the room. I’m sure he still smells you, B. Your bed is still in your spot.

And what about my spot? Am I still “augmenting reality” seeing who I am? Really? Yesterday and today, my side hustle is making a little bit of change. Gentlemen, Braxton?

We were not. Again, honest. But you were/are a better man than me. Remember that!

Braxton, short of your life, I want to remember your courage. How to LIVE BRAVE!

Braxton, I want to remember what it was like to not be afraid. Forgetting FEAR? Honestly, “Gee, I’m not sure.” Yet, Don’t B Forgetful, Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad