Tag: Dreams

Journey 079 ~Misplacing Braxton and Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

My best moments: Closing the door to the world. Covering myself in bed. Climbing out of my clothes… Um, Eww? Don’t we all? Better being here than being misplaced out there, existing. But my boys deserve freedom. People? Misplacing Braxton and Virgil.

Thursday, September 18, 2025

Journey 079 ~Misplacing Braxton and Virgil~

1691 Days Without B III, Day 1132 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Me? Am I sure I don’t have to work today? Your grandpa isn’t coming over?

As always, I would rather give GRIEF a seat at my table than FEAR. My table, that’s funny. Does the table I’m not working at even have legs? It remains to be seen, Baby B.

I’m in no hurry to go downstairs. I’m an effing FREE man at “Forty-One” (Cue the Ben-Hur galley drums). But I told your grandpa once all I wanted was a room with a bath, a mini-fridge, a microwave, and a bed. Braxton, I have a whole house! Am I ungrateful?

Goodness, no! What I am doing is thinking—you and your little brother Virgil. Really?

Well, Braxton, I am imagining you lying beside me. Your brother is right here, sleeping.

So what exactly has been misplaced? I woke up. LIFE!

My entire damn existence! Excuse me, B. “Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage.” Bullet with Butterfly Wings. I’m “In My Place,” Braxton—our place for a bit longer.

How long ago was it that Coldplay and a CEO cheating on his wife was the biggest thing B III? Have you seen what MAGA and the Cracker Hats have done? I swear, little Braxton.

But you and I were content in 2020 when everything was on lockdown. Good Times.

Everyone else was singing about “Hard Times,” like they were auditioning for the group Paramore. Speaking of which, the hot Visual Lady at the Day Job said I’m very eclectic.

My music, you know, Braxton. I should stop saying that.

My anything! What the eff belongs to me? Do you remember your grandpa buying you?

I’ll be sounding like a Cracker Hat in a minute because they tend to forget that owning someone’s life is wrong. And like them, they think they have misplaced what’s not theirs, my son. I’m no thief. I did steal your life and your brother’s. And again, your Dad’s what?

I gave my heart to M Anime, so I can’t say that it was misplaced. Now trust and coherent thought. I dropped those somewhere to keep a hold of my… Eww. All for Cherry’s t*ts.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

Time misplaced, and I don’t need to go outside for that. I prefer “My Own Prison” and “Like A Stone” alone. Misplacing Braxton and Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 076 ~B FUR And After~

WillLeave a comment

Four years ago, I knelt to my son Braxton, who loved me. Before August 24th, I imagined a girl going down on me. Most days, I’m trying to keep Virgil’s head above water. And I want to lie down and never rise again. Thinking about B FUR And After

Monday, September 15, 2025

Journey 076 ~B FUR And After~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… The one who watched you while you slept. Creepy. The one in your arms when “The Man Comes Around.”

That’ll be Thursday. But BEFORE that, “Why do you cry?” “We’re all gonna die.” Uh…

Why must I be all creepy this morning? I am my father’s son. From Johnny Cash to Sufjan Stevens, “Fourth Of July,” and the Commodores’ “Easy.” It isn’t Sunday morning.

Seriously, it’s Monday. That means you’re awake. “Dammit!” That’s the thought that crossed your mind first thing. And then came the water works. I know you’re not crying over Neil Bimbeau’s book. Oh yeah, that’s one of those you wouldn’t read out loud to me, Dad. So I’ll ask again, why do you cry? I wish it were all my fur flying in your eyes.

But you’re afraid. And you can’t stay in our room forever. Me protecting you, Dad.

“If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.”
― Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars

The things we forget. “He Lives In You.” No, not grandpa. While talking, Star Wars:

“I am a Jedi, like my father before me.”
Luke

Yes, we were a SITH household, only isn’t this what we did before battles, Daddy?

Honestly, we would listen to the words of the warriors, writers, and winners. Because that is what you are to me, Dad. Even if you don’t believe it about yourself, yes, I heard you on Sunday while you were writing. And these past few days, you’ve been “touring” the house, this ship like the Enterprise, as if it’s going down. Well, it’s not the Titanic.

“It’s something of a tradition, Guinan. A Captain touring the ship before a battle.”
“Oh, before a hopeless battle, if I remember the tradition correctly.”
“Not necessarily. Nelson toured the HMS Victory before Trafalgar.”
“Yes, but Nelson never returned from Trafalgar, did he?”
“No, but the battle was won.”
Captain Picard and Guinan, Star Trek

We’re amongst the stars, Daddy. And you fear that you’ll never reach me. And I fear you’ll arrive before I’m ready. I left before you were ready—humans and timing.

“Just go on dancing with me like this forever, and I’ll never tire. We’ll scrape our shoes on the stars and hang upside down from the moon.”
The Long Walk

Yes, Sunday has come and gone. I know how you feel about Sundays. “Bloody Sunday.”

“And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me, that you also may be where I am.”
Bible

And not just because of The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon. I kept you company, Dad.

Sunday, January 31, 2021, I stayed with you as long as I could. Comforting, seriously.

Daddy, I still don’t know what to say about M Anime. It’s been three weeks without her already. Would it sound any better to say that you were crying over her? “Stephani’s Sunday Symphony” has been blaring ever since you rose this morning. And Virgil?

Daddy, my baby brother needs you. Not just this morning. And yes, even after Thursday.
So be brave, Daddy. You were before. And be there for me, Virgil, yourself, and SOMEONE. B FUR And After.

“And only Lord knows when I’m coming to the crossroads.
So I don’t fear sh*t but tomorrow.”
Sucker For Pain

“Hold out, and save yourselves for kinder days.”
The Aeneid

1688 Days Without B III, Day 1129 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 075 ~Braxton and Virgil’s Ways~

WillLeave a comment

Don’t count your chickens before they hatch. Will M Anime’s new man buy her chickens? He’s getting her a farm or something. But me being a good “boyfriend,” CUCK showed her a video of baby chicks. This Is The Way, NOT! Braxton and Virgil’s Ways.

Sunday, September 14, 2025

Journey 075 ~Braxton and Virgil’s Ways~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And while I am no doctor and can’t call your time of death (unfortunately). You’ve already failed.

I’m not your judge or jury, just a guy “trying hard not to smile, though I feel bad.” It’s been “One Week” “Forty-One.” (Cue Ben-Hur galley drums). Way to kill the vibe. Yeah, you’ll be here all week with Barenaked Ladies. More like pictures of actual ladies sans clothing. M Anime, Braxton’s Favorite Girl… Cherry? Don’t you wish? Honestly, SIGH.

There’s the “Possibility.” Well, no. But I think I found a way to save your life. I know, I know, why! But it wasn’t like you were going to die of a broken heart. Not soon enough anyway. Braxton’s been gone four years. And the fourth week without M Anime, sorry to say. And here’s some “Dumb Ways To Die” for you. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Babysitter Harem 1 and 2: Hannah and Chloe MFFF Menage
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 009 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

The shed is effed either way you look at it. Your Old Man may look at it. You’re “Forty-One,” still worried he’ll beat you to a pulp, and without B III here. What about Virgil?

You hope Virgil has you as a father after Thursday. “Runnin'” (Dying to Live). Seriously.

That’s what it means to exist. You’ve been breathing for six hours, and if I gave you a button to press and you could go back to sleep and never wake up, you’d push it.

You’re not scared of death; you’re horrified at the prospect of pain. It’s like drowning.

Speaking of which, toxic chemicals, filling holes, and not the fun kind. White wood filler?

Become addicted to alcohol, painkillers, or something. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING As Yet To Be Determined
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Because reading about harems is not doing the trick, do you realize how close you were to that? Well, not really. But think about it. You have/had three girls. There’s Braxton’s Favorite Girl, then Cherry, and once upon a time, M Anime. Then you read about a story, well, many stories, but let’s focus on Kelli Wolfe’s MFFF fantasy. Finally, M Anime tells you that she’s going to be the third wife of some Cuban man, but money’s no issue.

Excuse the sh*t out of my GD French, but what the eff! You can ask yourself that because again, you’re still here, and you don’t plan to die, taking Virgil for a walk this morning.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

Reasons to live. But the way? Braxton and Virgil’s Ways.

1687 Days Without B III, Day 1128 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 072 ~B’s A Choice Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I never feared losing M Anime. What part of everything did I not understand? I FEAR everything. But I chose to love my boys. Braxton only needed to eat “my” breakfast, and Virgil went potty in the right area. Their choices. “B’s A Choice Virgil”

Thursday, September 11, 2025

Journey 072 ~B’s A Choice Virgil~

1684 Days Without B III, Day 1125 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Nobody had a good day on Tuesday, September 11, 2001. You weren’t here for that.

Plus, your Dad is a selfish S.O.B. and pretty sick too. And I choose to be sad for myself today.

Instead of worrying that “This Is America.” “While my students would rather watch TV. America. America!” To think I can barely remember what we called MAGA and Cracker Hats in those days. I thought I chose not to talk about this. And that is what today is about. Choice. While pissing my life away, I remembered. Braxton, my son, you were the best choice I ever made. Yeah, like I didn’t catch you eating Waffles, or was it French Toast on the bed one morning? Of all the days, I knew you were my son. And you never left me.

No. I let you go.

Or I didn’t, which is why I’m sitting here crying. Sadness over everything, Little B.

Because you know what I can’t control. The reason I’ve been sick since, what, July? It’s FEAR! I am scared with every single breath I take, Braxton. I effing miss you, B! If you were behind me, eff everyone and everything that sought to do you any harm, my son.

There’s only one person I wish harm to today. Dangerous words from Virgil’s father. It’s why “I’m Still Standing.” It’s why you led me to your little brother, to Virgil. But I could say I was lazy too. And Virgil had some understanding of using the training pads, so that was less work, Braxton. Speaking of work… Money over everything!

Headlines? Drake? Eww! This morning I was busy “dreaming” of a Milf and no, not the woman I wanted as your stepmom, M Anime. No, it was Mama Butler/Alice Butler. Braxton, I don’t choose which pair of yabbos gets me going on any waking morning.

Honestly, you don’t want to hear about Alice or M Anime for that matter. Seriously.

Braxton, every choice I make is wrong. And the only option that’s left… Acquire currency.

But that’s not a choice to live. That’s a decision to stay alive. I don’t want one, and I have to do the other for you and little bro. It’s like a multiple choice test, and I guess and fail. And people keep telling me to stop choosing B. To stop choosing you. Other classes.

There are the yabbo sizes of M Anime, Alice, and @SeeJaneGoTV. And measuring my BBC?

Way wrong answer! But so is FEAR. I’ll choose Sadness for $500. If it only paid… B’s A Choice Virgil.

“Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. Do not misunderstand me, danger is very real, but fear is a choice”.
After Earth

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 069 ~Braxton, Braxton Everywhere, And…~

WillLeave a comment

I did a lot of cleaning up after B when he was young (Emergence) and when he got old (Extinction). Existence was a gas. Now I have his brother V. The last thing my boys wanted was a b*tch. Just their b*tch ass Dad. “Braxton, Braxton Everywhere, And…”

Monday, September 8, 2025

Journey 069 ~Braxton, Braxton Everywhere, And…~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… Or at least I think so. Do you remember that time I tried drinking hot chocolate and burned myself?

Humans are strange. All yesterday evening, (sigh) E-Day, you were drinking something that was burning you. Only you didn’t stop until half the bottle was gone. And now your head, stomach, and everything else hurt. Can’t we stay in bed just like yesterday and “Make the World Go Away?” Tears, Terro, and other toxins. I can understand why you would look to drown yourself in anything else. And were any of those tears for me?

Daddy, that’s one screwed up way to look at a silver lining when it comes to E-Day. You cried more for yourself than you did for me. Even M Anime made an appearance. No, not really, but you thought of her while drowning yourself in that red stuff. Seeing colors?

“I Think I Can.” It’s why “The Pillows” look so damn inviting. Language! I know, Dad, I’m sorry. But your head feels like Naota’s from “FLCL” with everything ripping out.

And let’s not talk about your stomach. Instead, let’s talk about Virgil’s and French Fries.

I’m glad you shared with him. You’re keeping up traditions with my little brother, Dad. And speaking of tradition, tradition, tradition! Virgil, salivating over food. Just like old times. I remember sitting in the Den sometimes waiting for you after you got me my fries.

But “You Wanted More” in a “Tonic” sort of way. Mainly, you spent some time drooling over her yesterday afternoon. This is the third week you haven’t spoken to her, after what she did, Daddy.

“There’s nothing hotter than watching someone you love get fucked right in front of you.”
Neil Bimbeau ― The Magic Glasses: The Ultimate Bundle (Forty Book Bundle)

Suicide’s Note By Langston Hughes (1926)
“The calm, Cool face of the river. Asked me for a kiss.”

Dangerous words, Dad. The kind you wouldn’t read to me, when I was with you. Existence is all that matters. You would tell me, “whatever floats your boat and finds your remote.” And now you’re wishing you had M Anime’s life preservers to keep you afloat. So that’s what we’re calling those things now, Dad. Eww! Your new go-to phrase:

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

Anyway, what else did I see on E-Day yesterday? “Forty-One?” (Cue Ben-Hur Rowing of the Galley Slaves drumbeat). Emergence, Existence, Extinction, Evolution, Effing. Well, you and Virgil ate plenty, which is one more reason you feel sick. But the thought of leaving the bed or the couch with everything. The Floor is Lava, there’s too much poison outside, sweat, blood, tears. Braxton, Braxton Everywhere, And…

“I knew I loved you when I couldn’t hate you.”
Unknown

“I hope, I pray, if the just gods still have any power, wrecked on the rocks mid-sea you’ll drink your bowl of pain to the dregs, crying out the name of Dido over and over”.
― Virgil, The Aeneid

1681 Days Without B III, Day 1122 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 068 ~E-Day, HAPPY B, V~

WillLeave a comment

Did I wake up horny? I have a stomachache, 80% Blue Balls, 20% pesticides. And while we’re on the subject of numbers, Uh-oh! Guess what day it is! SIGHS, it’s E-Day. Lvl 41. And don’t you dare say Happy Whatever. But I Have A Dream E-Day, HAPPY B, V.

Sunday, September 7, 2025

Journey 068 ~E-Day, HAPPY B, V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror…Okay, here we are! Forty-One! Level 41! No Six Impossible Things. No dangerous words. What’s your perfect day?

Today, I am awake. I am alive. I am not afraid. And I am happy.

I can’t say I woke up naturally… What’s more natural than waking up with the sun cascading around my body and my wonderful wife’s mouth wrapped around me? Oh my God! She told me that she wanted to “suck” better than any woman I’d been with before. So mission accomplished.

And just in time too, as we forgot to lock the door, and BB comes in. Oh, Braxton, my Braxton. My firstborn furry at the age of twenty gave me his “I’m too old for this shit” look. His two-legged brother is holding him tightly. Then there are the twins.

Leia holds a trembling Virgil. Luke rubs the sleep from his eyes, saying he can’t reach the breakfast in the hall. M Anime finally rises.

After breakfast in bed with my family, we head to the beach. Braxton tries to relax, but he’s busy leading his brother on guard duty. My wife plays with the children while I play businessman and look up fun facts. Did you know Roger Murtaugh (Danny Glover) was 41 when he first said, “I’m too old for this shit?” And I “Take A Look At My Life,” like I’m Fat Joe or somebody. While I’m not Puerto Rican, I did marry a Puerto Rican woman.

Today, that woman of mine is pulling out of my beach chair as the nanny comes walking by in her bikini, looking like she’s from Michael Dalton’s Bikini Days series. M said she had a “sex on the beach” fantasy.

Fortunately, the kids, two-legged and four-legged, saw none of that. Though they did see me blow out the candles later on back at the house. And since my wife had her fantasy fulfilled, I have a few of my own. There’s a reason I have a thing for HaremLit. And one of my favorite songs is “Thirteen Women (And Only One Man In Town)” by Bill Haley & His Comets. I even wrote about this fantasy in “Nightmare At The Meat Market.” Who am I?

I’m a best-selling author, a director, and a producer. I run a brothel. I’m a husband, a father, and I’m surrounded by women’s:

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

In this moment, I am happy. I think I like this little life. E-Day, HAPPY B, V.

1680 Days Without B III, Day 1121 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 065 ~A B Wish Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“Do it for Braxton,” JSS (Just Survive Somehow). “I guess I die another day.” That’s what I told myself today. Sunday, “E-Day” is coming. I can’t go all Me Before You, Will Traynor. Hell, M Anime won’t be my, Lou Clark. My wish? No! “A B Wish Virgil”

Thursday, September 4, 2025

Journey 065 ~A B Wish Virgil~

1677 Days Without B III, Day 1118 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? This Wednesday, going into Thursday and E-Day, I’m going to try. Uh, try what exactly?

“Do good things, lunch boy.”
Dorian Newberry, Disturbing Behavior (1998)

“Dream. Try. Do good,”
Mr. Feeny, Boy Meets World (2000)

“We keep you alive to serve this ship. So row well, and live.”
Quintus Arrius

Come on, B, I had to throw 1959’s Ben-Hur into the mix. “Forty-One.” I keep hearing the drumbeat in my heart, Braxton. You have no idea how difficult it is to try to be nice.

To myself? Absolutely. So today I only want to be honest about “my” E-Day plans.

Today at the Day Job, I gave it a think, so here’s the plan. Always subject to change, B III.

Today, I want to give you an honest assessment of E-Day, Emergence, Existence, Extinction, Evolution, and Effing. Things I believe can get done. Friday will be why I hate E-Day with Lady Sophia. Saturday, I’ll explain the weirder ones to Lady Lunalesca. And Sunday (E-Day), I’ll give the Man in the Mirror my perfect day.

“It’s time to change the world kids! Here’s the blueprint.”
Dead Celebrity Status ― Messiah

(Today, I am awake. I am alive. I am not afraid. And I am happy.)

Not today, Braxton. In forty-one years of Existence, I have never believed that. However, we’re still talking about what’s real on E-Day. I don’t set any alarms and wake up whenever, ha-ha. I want to order breakfast, but I will end up making it. The only time I plan on leaving this house is for your little brother Virgil’s walk and food service. I won’t be writing, but I will be posting on that day. A day without ink is like a day without sunshine. Oh my Dear B III.

Your Dad hates to admit it, but I’d like to see M Anime, preferably without any clothes on. I know, I know, you don’t want to know that. It’s a pleasant thought. But she’s gone.

I’d like to order lunch from B-Dubs and a frosty strawberry milkshake. More Money? Getting expensive. I’ll carve a nice $150-$200. And that’s not all E-Day. I’d like to see The Long Walk on the 12th. And maybe some AirPods… I couldn’t BUY a woman even if I wanted to. Again, M Anime was my favorite. Your favorite girl won’t say a thing because she knows I hate E-Day, though I met her on one of the better ones. Cherry wouldn’t dare reveal her Yabbos.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

Of course, I’ll take my customary nap and spend my usual writing time reading or watching movies. Dinner will feature the traditional Surf and Turf, including a Lobster Tail and a Medium-Rare Steak. Yum, yum.

Bobby: What if somebody wants theirs well-done?
Hank: We ask them politely, yet firmly, to leave.
King of the Hill

Baked Potato and French Fries? Potato for me, and I’m sure your brother won’t mind the fries and a slice of steak. The only thing I have to watch is Season 3 of “The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon.” And after that… A reasonable night’s sleep? I need to ask your favorite girl about drink recommendations. Getting properly hammered for Existence?

The only way to survive it. All of this is a long shot, Braxton, but again for you, I’ll try. Ironic that I get to exist on E-Day because I make everything else… Well, cease to. A B Wish Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 062 ~B III Of E-Day~

WillLeave a comment

I’d imagine Braxton understands more about E-Day from wherever he is. It’s the only day of the year that would rival whatever meals he’s enjoying on the Rainbow Bridge, hmm. He’d give me that “seriously, dude” look, but in a nice way. B III Of E-Day.

Monday, September 1, 2025

Journey 062 ~B III Of E-Day~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… What Do I Wanna Bark About? I wanna go back, Dad. But what’s there? No M Anime, Virgil, Life

Just us on Friday, September 7, 2018, Episode 068 ~Will To See Tomorrow~. Before you panic, Daddy, like I got some bitch pregnant. Seriously Dad? But I kept my balls. When you met my little brother Virgil, uh… It was too late. Anyway, we’re only going back to E-Days before Sunday, January 31, 2021. Three to be exact: 2018, 2019, and 2020. I get it.

So on E-Day 2018, you still had such dreams for the future. You admitted you had problems. Nothing by today’s standards. You were thirty-four and you asked, “What good came from this, what emerged from me arriving on the planet? Does anyone have Will To See Tomorrow?” I see you, Dad. My Will, as in to live. If you could.

And you did, Dad, because it was Saturday, September 7, 2019, Log 068 ~I Will This Year~. You talked about the best “DAY”, not even E-Day, just the “DAY.” You invited the maid over, “Okay,” aka “Special K. And that was also the first time we met “Indiana Gone,” aka, my aunt, aka “My Favorite Girl.” And I know I couldn’t stand her back then.

And talk about toys. You spent a lot of money, but it was better than inviting all the girls over. You’re still hurting Dad about M Anime. You were planning on meeting her. Not on E-Day, but at some time. What she could have done, so far away… Doesn’t matter.

And I’m not doing very well at cheering you up.

Because that’s not what E-Day is for. Not this Sunday and not Monday, September 7, 2020, Gospel 068 ~Willing Existence Day To Be~. You had dreamed a dream, my father.

2020
“My Dæmon is an old man, much like me. He has a little beard, maybe a few gray hairs, but he runs around with my two-legged kids. If I have a son and a daughter, of course, it would be Luke and Leia, ha-ha. Three daughters, Katniss, Tris, and Ember.”

“That wonderful wife of mine has a surprise at the studio. Most of the staff will be taking a lunch break as we make a movie. I swear the woman is insatiable, and I’m getting used to my birthday suit.

“My Dæmon is barking his head off, but he’s trying to pull the kids away from the water. He’s getting too old for this stuff, but what about me? My age? Well, geez, everyone has arrived. Cosplayers, writers, some of the tamer girls I know. Indiana Gone, M. Anime, a couple of the MILFS.”

I can see why you’re so angry, Dad, and not only about E-Day Emergence, Existence, Extinction, Evolve. Effing Hell! Pardon my barking. How can someone throw away six years of friendship? More even. You knew M Anime before My Favorite Girl. Hell! You knew her as long as you knew me, if not longer. And you’re no MAGA Cracker Hat!

Daddy, you’re about to be “Forty-One.” Still rowing like Ben-Hur the slave. Still on “The Long Walk.” That’s the only thing you can promise will happen, E-Day. You’ll walk V.

Existence Day Forty-One. How will you feel, Daddy? Right now, Frightened of your father, my grandpa, fiends destroying the house, funds depleted, and no one to Eff. Let me just bark Eww! But promise me there will be food. That you’ll share with Little Virgil.

Happy… No. Just breathe, Dad. JSS, B III Of E-Day.

“His life had gone on far longer than he’d planned.”
― Joseph D’Lacey, MEAT (2008)

“The only hope for the doomed is no hope at all…”
― Virgil, The Aeneid

1674 Days Without B III, Day 1115 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 061 ~B Quiet Virgil, E-Day~

WillLeave a comment

Did I mention I hate Sundays? Yep. Much like B’s Death… which was on a Sunday. Last Sunday, my GF broke up with me. This Sunday is “The Calm Before.” Look up The Walking Dead. Next Sunday will be the second-worst day of my life. B Quiet Virgil, E-Day

Sunday, August 31, 2025

Journey 061 ~B Quiet Virgil, E-Day~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And you look even worse than I did around this time last week. Let’s refresh your memory:

~Sunday, August 24, 2025
6.17 AM M Anime: Wishing I could just fuck with you right now.

6:19 AM Me: I’m still hard for you

M Anime: Good morning, Will! I do hope you’re okay in your part of the world. Here I’m a bit sad. Having lustful thoughts. And somehow managing.

THE BREAKUP

12:19 PM M Anime: But the silence and the looks that would hang in between…~

SILENCE

Congratulations, you’re not looking at the past, i.e., B’s death. You’re not looking at the future. E-Day is next Sunday. But “Here And Now” as Luther Vandross sings. Last week.

Whatever, the fact of the matter is, you haven’t spoken to M Anime since then.

Honestly, what does that mean? Winning these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Pledged To Him 5: An Unconventional Romance – Neil Bimbeau
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 009 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Yeah, I think not. However, I completed number four. You know exactly why that is.

Though I know you’ve been having a HARD time this morning. I know. Right, seriously.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers.
Yabbos.

Yeah, yeah, you’re almost broke. You are broke and broken. And today you should be looking at yourself. What am I talking about? I’ve been doing that all week. You’re still you, and what did you have to show for it? The jury is still out considering it’s nearly the “1st of Tha Month. Tomorrow. And again come this time next week, Judah Ben-Hur… Um

“Your eyes are full of hate, forty-one. That’s good. Hate keeps a man alive. It gives him strength.”
Quintus Arrius

“It’s a strange, stubborn faith you keep. To believe that existence has a purpose! A sane man would have learned to lose it long before this.”

“As you have. What drove it out of you?”

“Go back to your oar, Forty-One.”
Quintus Arrius And Ben-Hur

Whoever the gods are, they take small interest in an old man’s hopes.
Quintus Arrius

Will, you’ll be “Forty-One.” So back to your oar. But not yet. Virgil can wait another moment or two. Ants, Mosquitos, these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Whatever I Can Get With Kindle Points. Some Are Pending
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 009 No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT, Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

You didn’t have anything special for these things last year. So again you’ll be lazy.

Perhaps, you will come up with something since you’ll be talking to your “Forty-One,” year-old self. And for reference, you’re hearing the voice of Quintus Arrius, the Roman Consul in the 1959 film Ben-Hur. He called Ben-Hur “Forty-One,” referring to his seat/slave number. And that’s your life. A slave, a sucker, and skeevy as all hell. Effing worthless! Beats silence.

That’s one more E to add to E-Day, Emergence, Existence, Extinction, who’s not getting Effed. Not by M Anime or anyone else. Hell! The last time? B’s Favorite Girl’s Wedding?

Sometime in 2019. Your favorite girl, M Anime, is getting married to someone else next year. Shall I wish you Good Luck? Stay Alive. But, first, B Quiet Virgil, E-Day.

“I miss her
And I’m telling her
with all the silence
I am capable of.”
Charles Bukowski

1673 Days Without B III, Day 1114 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 058 ~Virgil’s Good Sense B~

WillLeave a comment

If I had any sense at all, I would admit “All These Things That I’ve Done” to B’s Grandpa. To think I told him about M Anime. But his son is still a loser. And speaking of kids, sadly, it won’t be with M Anime. If only I had “Virgil’s Good Sense, B.”

Thursday, August 28, 2025

Journey 058 ~Virgil’s Good Sense B~

1670 Days Without B III, Day 1111 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Today is Monday, August 25, 2025, so you know how my day was. Humiliations Galore?

Around this time last week son, I was so worried about your potential… Nope, Braxton!

M Anime won’t be your stepmom. Do you remember when you and I had to have “The Talk?” You liked your Favorite Girl a little too much. I got two words for ya, “Red Rocket.”

Eww! Must your Dad be so gross today? At the moment your Daddy is out of tears, the toxins are still flowing, and toting your little brother Virgil around daily. But I don’t want to talk about why I’m still sitting at the Dining Room table. But three days, Braxton.

Honestly, I’m glad E-Day is still a ways off. But I’d also rather be with you. I know B III. Dangerous words, but there’s more.

It’s why I haven’t talked to M Anime yet. Hell! By the time you read this who knows. If you were here, I don’t think she would have gotten this far. You hated everybody, B.

Again, you had your Favorite Girl, your aunt, your grandma and even your grandpa. Uh.

Back to M Anime. Let’s pretend B that we’re sitting in bed and I’m finally explaining to you how my day was. How I wish we could go back to those days Braxton. Good days.

Anyway, “What do I tell you M Anime? The woman I was falling in love with woke up this morning to tell me it’s over. And why? Because she wants to have a family. Kids?”

Braxton, you didn’t have siblings.

Ahem… Virgil. I mean siblings, while you were bound to the mortal coil, Braxton. SIGH.

It didn’t make sense. You and I had each other, and that was enough. But for M, my B III. Why didn’t she say it? I get the sense that she’s lying. I’ve looked at myself in a mirror, B.

And there’s also all the cents that I’m missing in my bank account. But for M Anime. I think you would have liked her. I still do. If only I had you and Virgil’s good sense. You didn’t give your heart easily, and Virgil keeps his mouth shut. But me? I’ll never touch her, taste her, hear as she… Or smell her roses. And seeing her. Virgil’s Good Sense B

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad