Tag: Memories

Journey 053 ~Don’t B Broke V~

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Today is not one to break routine. I read about naughty sorority girls. I got dressed. Sprayed and prayed the backyard. Took Virgil walking. Kept the creepy crawlers off him. Read about MAGA breaking the law. And what can I do? “Don’t B Broke V”

Saturday, August 23, 2025

Journey 053 ~Don’t B Broke V~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And if only Virgil had pants, I could carry more. Problems? Broken house, BUGS, bank account.

But not today, Lady Lu. No bellyaching today. Unless Maisie Williams, aka Arya Stark, k?

“What do we say to the God of Death? ”Not today.”
― Game Of Thrones

And with her, that’s on another level of bellyaching, if you get my meaning. Eww!

Lunalesca, sigh. The WWE’s Cody Rhodes would ask, “What do you want to talk about?”

Being broken? But in a good way? Because when you’re broken, all you can think about is how to fix it. And that’s what led me to a bit of a Revelation today. I read a sample of the book I wrote for Braxton yesterday, “My Turn To B III,” And you know these words:

“If life is a game, love is your instructions.”
― My Turn To B III

Money would fix every problem, but I have Virgil. Love!

“Fear is the heart of love. So I never went back.”
Death Cab for Cutie

“Fear doesn’t shut you down, it wakes you up.”
Divergent

“Believe in yourself, and create your own destiny. Don’t fear failure.”
Broken Promise (Dreams), Toonami

Yesterday was a bad day, Lady Lunalesca. My FEARS, GUILT, and SADNESS. It’s like that brick wall from The Women of Brewster Place. For the record, my lady, we must remember films and things like that. In particular, Black History and what’s right and wrong. Because for damn sure the MAGA, the Cracker Hat effers want to erase a people.

Anyway, I had to crack open the door and go outside. I had to break through whatever there was to go shopping. I feel like vomiting even now, but I break myself open. I eat.

Ain’t got no money and I still bought three new HaremLit books. Backyard Dungeon 20 by Logan Jacobs. Pledged To Him 5 by Neil Bimbeau and Michael Dalton’s Bikini Magic.

And speaking of breaking something open, there’s Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom M Anime. I know, I know, Lady Lunalesca. ‘The critic’ um Artificial Intelligence. It said I offer zero resolution. I show no happiness. And stop talking about Yabbos.

Copeus Cleavage, Titanic Tatas, Supersized Slobberknockers, Majestic Mammaries, Humongous Headlights, Milky Monsters, Behemoth Boobies, Colossal Contours, Gigantic Floppa Whoppers. You see, Lunalesca, saying all that made me crack a smile.

And now I have to break through today. I have to break through many days until I make it to E-Day. And if I had to make a wish for that. I met Braxton’s Favorite Girl on one E-Day. I wish I could break into M Anime this one. But money. Don’t B Broke V.

1665 Days Without B III, Day 1106 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 050 ~Ay Caramba, Braxton, Virgil~

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When I would look into Braxton’s eyes, I saw the coolest guy ever. When I look into Virgil’s eyes, I see disappointment. It doesn’t help that he has Braxton’s color fur around them. And when I see myself? “Ay Caramba, Braxton, Virgil.”

Wednesday, August 20, 2025

Journey 050 ~Ay Caramba, Braxton, Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… So why do I call out to my boys like this is Smallville? Somebody “Save Me!” “Aye-yi-yi-yi-yi, Inspector.

Because I’m not cool enough for The Simpsons. Are they still cool? How would I know working my 8-6 schedule in the Dining Room? For FREE! Sold any books, Inspector…

Only I’m not that guy. But I’m not blind either. I’m not making a wage. How much am I writing? And this damn back wall that I keep watching and worrying about. Oh my woman? Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, is getting back to me, Inspector. Honestly, with everything we say to one another. So, Inspector, my message:

“I feel angry, I feel helpless
Want to change the world, yeah
I feel violent, I feel alone
Don’t try and change my mind, no”
One
Song by Creed (1997)

“Say what you need to say,” in my own words. While I still have eyes to see and hands to type. Both of them are burning. Chemicals, crying, and crumbling walls. It is a WAR.

And by the end of it, I’ll end up as an early Geordi La Forge. What? The Federation doesn’t require money, so I’ll be good. Not if my Old Man wrings my neck like Homer does Bart all of the time. Or not. I remember reading somewhere Homer had to stop doing that to Bart. My father is holds no inclinations. When he sees all that has happened, Dear Echo.

That’s why I feel like Alpha 5 from Power Rangers. Inspector “Back In The Day.”

“Back in the days when I was young I’m not a kid anymore.
But some days I sit and wish I was a kid again.”
Back In The Day, Ahmad

Seriously, have you seen the calendar? M Anime was just telling me about her birthday.

E-Day is coming up so fast. Emergence Day. For me or the effing BUGS. Emergence, Existence, Extinction, and Evolution. FEAR is blinding me to everything.

Yet here I am despite everything. Honestly, I would rather give up because of “All the Small Things.” I’m not talking about my boys’ potential stepmom. Yes, those are yabbos.

But it’s more her words, Inspector, the small things that mean even, well, “Vis-a-vis, love.”
The idea that I could get her pregnant. If the house is still standing, that is, Inspector. She wants to plant seeds in more ways than one. And here I am poisoning B’s yard, myself.

Virgil is safe and sound. No little creepy crawlers. But he sees his papa panicking.

Problems surround us, and I can’t pay to fix anything. But I plug plenty of words into an AI, creating a world I’d rather see sometimes. Ay Caramba, Braxton, Virgil.

1662 Days Without B III, Day 1103 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 049 ~What’s Bugging B, Virgil~

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What bugs me the most these days? B’s still gone. It’s not wearing a hoodie and carrying Virgil a third of the way on our walks. Effing BUGS! Or checking him after. Or even effing MAGA Cracker Hats. It’s the back wall. “What’s Bugging B, Virgil”

Tuesday, August 19, 2025

Journey 049 ~What’s Bugging B, Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Do I love you enough to STAY? Honestly, “I’m so high, I can hear Heaven.”

But I am no “Hero” as Chad Kroeger sings. Hell! I’m not even Todd Masterson from “Succubus Lord” laying off the wacky tobacky, weed, and the Devil’s Lettuce. Speaking of which, should I lay off the HaremLit novels? I’m on Backyard Dungeon 19, my love.

I’m nearly finished… It is finished… “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus,” I tell myself as I pretend I’m telling you. As I said, I’m high enough to talk to my firstborn son B III. Gone four long years. And then I talk back to him. And let’s not forget about 2-V sitting here.

I’m sure I’m bugging him, jumping up and down, scanning the shed wall. I’m not going to talk about ‘THEM’ today. I’m already annoyed enough.

And not in an I miss Braxton jumping on my head kind of way. Or a Starship Troopers Sugar Watkins “Just trying to kill some bugs, sir,” sort of mood. And dammit, I wish I could stop touching my face. I feel like I’m in 2011’s “Contagion.” Effing Pop Culture!

When I spend every day breathing in toxins, trying to save our home. It’s no wonder I feel so sick. And it gives me plenty of downtime. Not really. But I don’t want to look at the backyard anymore. My B’s territory. No wonder I turn to our two-legged children.

And speaking of territory, my love, you touch me and whisper, “There’s the man I chose
There’s my territory.” Sweetheart.

“You’re a song written by the hands of God.”
Shakira

And you’re not bugging me in the slightest. No baby doll, it’s those “Three Little Birds,” pitch by my doorstep. Ours? Mine because I can’t blame this failure on you. A man provides, protects, and “Pop’s the P—sy.” Seriously, must I be so vulgar… “Rise up this mornin’. Smiled with the risin’ sun.” I haven’t done that in weeks, maybe months, my “Sweet Love.” I mean, not woken up with tears in my eyes. We were making Sweet Love listening to Anita Baker last night. One more reason I wanted to stay, my beloved.

Honestly, I hate this effing wall I’m looking at. And I don’t want to cry, spray more chemicals, or cringe. I just want to close my eyes and find my Braxton. What’s Bugging B, Virgil?

1661 Days Without B III, Day 1102 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 046 ~Morning Moans B, V~

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I’m an Old Man. But that’s not why I’m moaning. “You Give Good Love” plays in the background, and my boys’ stepmom is in bed, but that’s not it either. I’m crying over Braxton? No. My Old Man kicked my ass? Not yet. No money? Soon. Morning Moans B, V

Saturday, August 16, 2025

Journey 046 ~Morning Moans B, V~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Eww! But I intend to be grosser today. And just because I plan doesn’t mean anything.

I do want to vomit. When I picked up BBQ the day that Braxton died. When I was picking a mess load of ticks of Virgil. When the floor was flooded, my Old Man had to have the whole thing ripped up. Looking at my bank account after the grocery store on Friday. I swear!

The Carpenter Ant invasion is just one more thing making me sick. Jinxing myself, Luna?

I’ll try not to. What if I went to the Tractor Supply and bought more poisons? I did shoot a video for Braxton and Virgil’s Potential Stepmom, M Anime. I’m a man of my word.

But in memory of my son, to have a future with M Anime. I’m sitting here moaning because of BUGS!

“We are going in with first wave. Means more bugs for us to kill. You smash the entire area. You kill anything that has more than two legs.”
Starship Troopers

Well, only when I look up from the keyboard. Shouldn’t I imagine you sitting across from me? You and I, my dear Lady Lunalesca, are enjoying our cappuccino as a “Troy” reaction video plays in the background. I miss the background, Luna. FEAR takes notice.

As Chad Kroeger sings, “I’m so high, I can hear Heaven.” But I’m no “Hero” Lunalesca.

Today, I swear I heard Braxton bawling that I, too, would bawl having to leave the bed and worry about… What I’m doing right now. Keep one eye on the sky, rather the wall.

“What do we do when we are awake?
Keep two eyes on the sky.
What do we do when we sleep?
Keep one eye on the sky.
What do we do when we see them?
Dig hard, dig deep, go for shelter, and never look back.”
Reign of Fire (2002)

The vociferous Virgil (that’s funny) is upstairs quaking in fear of the times I jump.

“Quarter (an ant)! Town council gives me a quarter (an ant). I’m going to be rich.”
― Disturbing Behavior (1998)

Lunalesca, I can’t help it. One more reason I ain’t a MAGA Cracker Hat. WAR!

War does not pay, or as a great man sang, “War, huh (good God, y’all). What is it good for? Absolutely nothing.” I’d tell you I’m a lover, not a fighter, Lunalesca. But that’s lying.

Besides being a father who loves his sons, can I be a man who loves his woman? I do try.

Hell! Do you remember when I was busy moaning over Cherry’s Yabbos? I still would. And now I have seen M Anime’s in all their glory. One more reason I’m late this morning, Lady Lunalesca. I was doing my best Clarence Carter impression, “I be strokin’.” And if somehow I survive this War and Emergence Day, Virgil will be outside wondering why his stepmom moans. Eww! Morning Moans B, V

1658 Days Without B III, Day 1099 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 043 ~B’s Sense Wins Virgil~

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The only real doctors I see annually are my Eye Doc and V’s vet, formerly B’s. And I see on this day, Saturday, August 13, 2022, I became a father to my secondborn. Virgil Vivi Bradford (Archie) aka 2-V. Yet nothing makes sense. B’s Sense Wins Virgil

Wednesday, August 13, 2025

Journey 043 ~B’s Sense Wins Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… I got Virgil. Adopted, Rescued, Saved. That’s not a sin, though. No, the sin is I’m stuck here.

Inspector, I have so many sins. I “published” Braxton’s book “My Turn To B III.” X/Twitter has been reminding me more than Amazon. And that’s not reason enough for me to stay. To honor my firstborn son? It took an effing Carpenter Ant Invasion, Echo.

How many days have I been sitting at the Dining Room table losing this conflict?

Inspector, M Anime’s Birthday is coming up, and I have no money to get her anything. “I Got Nothing But Love For You Baby” The Carpenter Ant War, Inspector. Eff Me! And Eff MAGA and FDT! When was the last time I had a decent paycheck? Run to father? Eff!

Inspector, I’m a Dad, and today is Virgil’s Gotcha Day. So what did he get?

A dead man. We are The Walking Dead. And if Virgil wasn’t here? Touch, sight, taste, and sound. “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” Inspector, considering my age, “it all was bullshi*t.”

You have FEAR to thank for that, Inspector. Do you remember what Four told Tris:

“Fear doesn’t shut you down; it wakes you up.”
Divergent

Exactly Inspector. It’s what I wanted to explain to Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, a few days ago. I’m up all night because besides her impressive Yabbos. FEAR.

I’m exhausted. I smell the chemicals in the air of all the poisons I’ve been using in the battles. Virgil could use a bath. I can spot an effing ant from yards away or a cracking foundation. I’m washing my hands. Can’t taste my food because of my stomach. Silence

How do I explain that to M Anime? B was telling me today, Monday, August 11, 2025, how I’m going mad. Duh! I believe my dead fur buddy is talking to me beyond the grave.

“And even though you passed. Going on four long years. Still waking up late at night, crying tears.” I shouldn’t be singing R. Kelly, but it’s true, Inspector. Terrified, Mourning.

M Anime can ask the simplest thing: How are you? How was your day? And I told her I could lie. Say I’m fine. That’s what men do, right? Because saying I’m Afraid today and tomorrow makes no sense. But being with her makes sense. Being with Braxton did. Being good to Virgil does. Loving myself? B’s Sense Wins Virgil.

“Inside of me
I’m only a man in a funny red sheet
I’m only a man lookin’ for a dream
I’m only a man in a funny red sheet
And it’s not easy, hoo, hoo, hoo
It’s not easy to be me.”
Five For Fighting

1655 Days Without B III, Day 1096 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 042 ~B Stays Put Virgil~

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I’m a “published” author. I work retail. I wish I were an exterminator. I got a woman who wants me as a husband. We want to be parents… Someday. I’ll always be B and V’s Dad. Mr. Clark said he only needed to stay black and… Anyway, B Stays Put Virgil

Tuesday, August 12, 2025

Journey 042 ~B Stays Put Virgil~

https://a.co/d/dKxDhhB

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And where does that love go? “Everything Everywhere All At Once.” Haven’t seen that movie…

Do I want to be on our couch or love seat right now? We’ll get to that. But how am I? How is my day? Um, anywhere but here sounds nice. I’m not talking about you or where I’m working right now. If anything, it’s in my own skin. I feel like Agent Smith, love.

“I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can’t stand it any longer. It’s the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it.”
Agent Smith, The Matrix

That’s not posh, polite, or politically correct. Anything sounds better than being a MAGA Cracker Hat. Anyway, where would I like to be right now? I’m eyeballing the ground now.

Honestly, the back porch is dirty. The dirt, wood, and Carpenter Ants, where B isn’t.

No, his ashes are on the nightstand. And your husband is trapped in a vet’s office on Sunday, January 31, 2021. This shouldn’t be scary.

Being a man. Being alive. Breathing. Breathe in, Breathe out. If FEAR would follow suit.

No, my love, FEAR stays where it is, like Cancer. It grows, and I don’t have the money to fix it. Hell, I don’t have money for more pesticides, woodworking, or even a power wash.

And I shouldn’t talk about Cancer. Am I that eager to join Braxton and leave his little brother Virgil? And what about you, and those two-legged puppies we consider children?

I have to stay put, but that’s not the truth, is it? A husband, a father, and a man moves. Forgive me for sounding like a Cracker Hat, but I’m starting to see the appeal of homemakers. But I’m failing to protect our home, love.

And I wouldn’t blame you for going all Nelly Furtado “I’m Like A Bird.” But to quote a man in a hat, hopefully not a Cracker Hat. What it’s not like I’m looking up politics:

“You belong here… with me.”
― Christof, The Truman Show

Staying. If only my Old Man had kept his pants on, I could have stayed in Hell where I belong. But now there’s E-Day, “Existence Day.” The second worst day, next to when B died. You and I have spoken about expanding our family. Where do I belong, my love?

Inside you. I can hear the other two-leggeds go, “eww, Dad!” If I could only stay that, my love. But a man must be many things, and scared isn’t one. In your arms. In a box. B Stays Put, Virgil.

1654 Days Without B III, Day 1095 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 039 ~Braxton’s Bravery 101 Virgil~

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“We are fighting a war. Our enemy is not human. And we are losing.” If I could tell my past self that, would I give up the nearly 16 years I had with B III? I didn’t learn his bravery or pass it on to his brother, 2-V. “Braxton’s Bravery 101 Virgil.”

Saturday, August 9, 2025

Journey 039 ~Braxton’s Bravery 101 Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And if I were a MAGA Cracker Hat as well… What I’d do? Fumigate, Fornicate, Fail

Honestly, I don’t need a billion dollars for any of that. I failed my boy. I failed Braxton, Lunalesca. And what about his little brother Virgil? Another morning sleeping, Luna.

When it comes to fornicating? Well, Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, M Anime, isn’t here yet. But I got caught up with Margaret Qualley in the film Sanctuary this morning.

“When I tell you. Not before. You’re gonna come inside me. But I want to tell you something first. I have an app on my phone, and it tells me when I’m ovulating. I’m ovulating right now. And when I tell you to come, you’re gonna come inside me. You’re gonna do it, and you’re gonna make me pregnant. And I’m gonna have the baby.”
Rebecca, Margaret Qualley, “Sanctuary” (2022)

Would M Anime ever say such a thing? To a man like me, that’s good for nothing that I can’t even capitalize on this moment. The thing that brings us together today, my dear Lu.

Fumigation? One more thing I’m failing at. It’s what had me rushing just minutes ago.

Last week, I told you what STUPID was. Today, let’s focus on being SCARED. FEAR.

EFFING FEAR! Every moment, every minute, and every muscle. Every day! I can tell you with utmost certainty that if it isn’t tears for Braxton, then the tears are for me. Even worse, Lunalesca. The tears are for fear. Tears For Fears… Not my favorite band, but Everybody Wants To Rule The World. Mad World, ain’t it. You know the line that explains my bed.

“And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I’ve ever had.”
Tears For Fears, Mad World

And how long will my bedroom remain a safe place when I can’t even defend Braxton’s yard or a little shed? The only reason I’m not crying right now is that I’m too sweaty and all of the chemicals I keep spraying. These EFFING CARPENTER ANTS! Braxton was one for inside or outside. Virgil thinks I’m going nuts. Idiot? Cowardly?

The virtues of being a Cracker Hat. I instead call myself a scared little boy than one of them Lunalesca. Is it time to call my Old Man and admit that his son has failed yet again? And I have no money. Every day it’s a new FEAR, and I’m drowning in it, Lunalesca. Breathe!

Carpenter Ants, Woodshed, Trash, Chemicals, Old Man, Money, My Book (My Turn To B III), Virgil’s Health, Norton, Day Job, Car, Phone, Neighbors, Time, Braxton. Lady Lunalesca, there is no ending to the FEAR. It’s The Long Walk, and I have to outlast everything, and for what? SPOILER: Ray Garraty survives. Lunalesca, Ray keeps walking.

I’m walking, I win, I wish. Ask, “What are ya buyin’?” Braxton’s Bravery 101 Virgil

1651 Days Without B III, Day 1092 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 036 ~Braxton, Virgil, A Pa~

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I’m the “Last Of My Kind,” said no Ant ever. I haven’t seen one today with Virgil’s walk and all. But I’m not clapping for him or any victory. If I were a “strong survivor, a real provider… a Tru Rider,” for my boys’ stepmom. Braxton, Virgil, A Pa.

Wednesday, August 6, 2025

Journey 036 ~Braxton, Virgil, A Pa~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And I’m sure all of Hell is applauding. But as for my arrival. “How To Save A Life”

Virgil is still here. Well, I assume so. “When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me.” And today is Monday, August 4, 2025. But I’ve been living on Sunday, January 31, 2021. You know what the Klingons say, “Today is a good day to die.” But “Here I Am,” because I have to work. One day of the week… That’s rich. A blessing and a curse.

Inspector, if I were finishing Braxton’s book, “My Turn To B III.” But I want to give myself a round of applause for showing up late to sit at the dining room table. Seriously, Echo.

It’s not like I’m getting paid this week. More weapons in my war against the Carpenter, Ha. Ants, Jesus, whatever.

I haven’t seen a Carpenter Ant all day, but the day isn’t over yet. It’s 3:30 PM, meaning I should have been at the table at 1:00 PM. Too busy putting my digits around my “Enormous Pen*s” thank you Da Vinci’s Notebook. But the moment I clap my hands, E.

Victory? The wood is still destroyed. I can’t pay for that. How much did I spend to fight the good fight? I cut limbs from a tree. I sprayed chemicals until my arm twisted, Echo.

As for the GOOD Lord, “Footprints In The Sand,” indeed. My existence has been nothing but The Long Walk. Am I Ray Garraty? Braxton would be Pete McVries, while Virgil is Stebbins. Braxton and Virgil’s stepmom would be Jan then.

M Anime, my Jan, Julia, if we’re talking 1984. And with her mind, I could place her in any number of Hentai. She’s cheering me on, but she’s not clapping. Too much work to do.

“Him and I,” like the G-Eazy song. That’s what she wants from me. And afterward… Inspector, I can hear the clapping of a crowd. The future? Wedding, Kids, Fame, Fortune.

But “If Only for One Night,” there’s a different kind of clapping. And Virgil’s paws against the door; if no Ants have chewed through it. And Braxton covers his eyes.

Inspector, my Ma’s hands take care of my Grandma, and “Grandma’s Hands?” I should ask. And my hands. I’m not clapping or “Praying” like Kesha. For Braxton, Virgil, A Pa.

1648 Days Without B III, Day 1089 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 035 ~B Leaning On Virgil~

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I shouldn’t have to rely on FEAR to get me out of bed in the morning to look at a wall outside like I’m one of the MAGA Cracker Hats watching the border. But my boys live here. Their potential stepmom wants to visit this winter. “B Leaning On Virgil”

Tuesday, August 5, 2025

Journey 035 ~B Leaning On Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? You’re my shoulder to lean on. Or should I sing “look over your shoulders, honey!”

“I’ll Be There.” But I’m not Michael Jackson. Hell! I don’t have Neil Bimbeau’s bank.

Honestly, how much can one make in the “HaremLit” genre? Enough to survive and for the family. And I’m still leaning heavily on Braxton’s book “My Turn To B III.” Well, if I ever published it. I’d cry about it, but that’s one of the reasons I ignore your advice of “Put Your Head on My Shoulder.” Seriously, I would rather cry in your lap as I told Braxton yesterday.

The only way to make my wife wet. Braxton and Virgil don’t need to hear that! But I would cry on Braxton’s shoulder? Excuse me, his Scapulohumeral Joints. And Virgil?

He’s leaning against me, keeping me upright like Pete McVries.

Richard Bachman/Stephen King’s The Long Walk. First, am I back on that again? I saw the second trailer, and I’m not sure I’ll have enough paper for September 12th. Secondly, isn’t Braxton my Pete McVries? Virgil is more my Stebbins. You, my love, are Jan.

Everything you had to offer me. All of yourself. And I just passed by. Don’t I trust you, my love? Don’t I want you? I am as adamant as I am about wanting children. I’m not one to laugh much. Oh, I do! But the live part. More like the creation of life. And love.

Broken heart and all, “I Got Nothing But Love For You Baby.” The Five Heartbeats. You, Virgil, our three two-legged kids. My heart was Braxton.

Carpenter Ants don’t have hearts. I have that in common with my GREAT enemy, hmm.

Speaking of which, I’m leaning on the “Spectracide Terminate Termite & Carpenter Ant Killer AccuShot Sprayer,” and the recent cold snap to protect the house. This is only the second day that I haven’t spotted an ant scurrying out of a hole they made, love.

I’m a man, a husband, a Dad, I shouldn’t be leaning on you. Well, except in the throes of passion. “After all, you’re my Wonderwall.” I can’t even keep the walls of our home up.

“If he can keep his knuckles up all night, imagine what his willy can do.”
― Far and Away 1992

I lean forward in killing BUGS, BUGS! I lean back for your favorite position, love. I lean left against MAGA Cracker Hats. You’re my right hand. B Leaning On Virgil

1647 Days Without B III, Day 1088 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 032 ~Virgil’s A B-Class Starship~

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It took a week for ants to destroy the house. I was seven when I humiliated myself on E-Day. When did I discover sleeping pills? When did my maid decide she was done? B was euthanized four years ago. Why can’t I take off? Virgil’s A B-Class Starship.

Saturday, August 2, 2025

Journey 032 ~Virgil’s A B-Class Starship~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Which means I have stock in Star Wars, Star Trek, and Starship Troopers. Today’s word: “BUGS!”

Sad, right? I am so sick and tired of being sad. The only question is, what am I crying about today? Don’t worry, Lady Lunalesca, we’ll get to the sick part. Yes, I’ll always be sad about my little boy, Braxton. But as I sit here at the dining room table, my eyes are shooting daggers at the wood the Carpenter Ants chewed through. I think about Braxton barking away.

It wouldn’t do much good, like all the products I bought yesterday to exterminate the ants. So much so, I forgot to buy things like water, peanut butter, actual butter, etc. As Matchbox Twenty sings, “I feel STUPID.” STUPID is sad, scared, and sick together.

Lunalesca, I don’t want to be sad anymore. But Virgil…

Scared? You’re damn right, I’m afraid, which is why I’m sitting here at the table, going out to spray anytime I see a speck of black. I might as well join the MAGA Cracker Hats demonizing black and brown people. Again, for me it’s “BUGS! BUGS!” It’s like something out of Helldivers II, and this is the Massacre of Malevelon Creek. A little late to the party. To think so many months before Lunalesca, I wanted a PS5. Effing STUPID!

Now I’m thinking of saving my ass from my Old Man when he sees this. What’s My Age Again? I’m old enough to have an effing workday, fix a fence, and hire people to stop the Carpenter Ants from destroying my boys’ home. But breathing…

Sickens me. I am sick, Lady Lu. The Walking Dead. And not one bug bite has been enough to release me from the mortal coil. Careful… AI has been dinging me for my ideas lately.

But you don’t know what it’s like, Lady Lunalesca. My STUPIDITY. The FEAR. A cure?

My son, of course. Braxton gave me courage I didn’t know I had. Saving, Protecting.

Where’s Braxton? A box on the nightstand and hopefully somewhere on the Rainbow Bridge. Virgil’s sleeping on his pillow. Thankfully, he’s bug-free. But this building…

Lunalesca, home? Invaded. And I couldn’t sleep until around 3 this morning. The idea of sex with M Anime, my boys’ potential stepmother. Taking off. She keeps me awake and alive. Virgil’s A B-Class Starship.

1644 Days Without B III, Day 1085 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will