Tag: Tears

Meditation 116 ~Well, SHEET, Braxton, Virgil~

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Reading, Writing, Arithmetic? Well, minus the arithmetic since I ain’t got no money. Plus, McDonald’s is in trouble, Pizza Hut was closed, the hot dog place is too far and Taco Bell sucks. But writing about such things. “Well, SHEET, Braxton, Virgil”

Friday, October 25, 2024

Meditation 116 ~Well, SHEET, Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Or maybe I should give you a to-do list. A coupon on cleaning products… Last night…

I wish I could say there have been more tears for Braxton. If anything. I want to read more books on PET loss before “The Closing Of The Year.” It’s DARN near tradition for me to read Christmas… adult relations throughout December. But I miss my boy B III. Always.

Only last night, I was missing paper towels. Cherry’s red lips, hips, and the biggest ti.. Yabbos I’ve never seen. Don’t drink energy shots after 3:00 PM or watch… relations.

And that was my second thought this morning. The first was about making Braxton’s photo album. The second was when I was young. My gallery of adult material was Victoria’s Secret catalogs and a black binder. My “Bible Black.” Now my library consists of… Reviews?

Dungeon Big Enough For Thirteen:

It’s all about the numbers. And for now, that number is four stars. And I’ll tell you why Backyard Dungeon 13 is another winner of all but one. It’s awesome. But? But nothing, it’s a great read. Eddie is well on his way with his wives. I believe there are eight now: Ibseth, Amrila, Nileme, Bolra, Pregia, Gwen, Sigrith, and Tiana. Who didn’t see that coming? My favorite parts besides all of the Yabbos would have to be the ole find the big bad and take them out. And Eddie’s duel. It’s a lot to take in. And with my friends… Honestly, I would recommend this. However, going thirteen books and counting. And with attempting to hock the UK editions…

I know, Lady Sophia, that was very abrupt. Much like my eating habits. Do I just not care what goes into my body when I look at the grocery bill? Then there’s Taco Bell. Geez! Remember I told you about taking energy shots in the afternoon… Well… I spent most of last night before breaking for Yabbos, writing a “scathing” review about Taco Bell. Sigh. But I didn’t want to give them all my information, so I needed a new way to complain. I could always post it later. Hmm. There is so much writing to get done, Lady Sophia.

Today, though… what about tomorrow? And could we talk about November 5th? I’ll be checking the Constitution’s writing. I’ll vote. Freedom!!! Well, SHEET, Braxton, Virgil

1363 Days Without B III, Day 804 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 115 ~Braxton, Will, Madmen… Virgil~

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I wouldn’t call myself a good man. Other than having an Enormous Peni… And liking Yabbos, Black, White, Asian, Latina, Middle East all over, some big ones across the pond. Madness. This is Willie! And I’m a bad guy, duh. Braxton, Will, Madmen… Virgil

Thursday, October 24, 2024

Meditation 115 ~Braxton, Will, Madmen… Virgil~

1362 Days Without B III, Day 803 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? “My” day is just beginning. But don’t ask me how I feel… Or should you…

Isn’t It Ironic, B? I was thinking about this at the Day Job yesterday. Remember how when I was in school, your granddaddy would ask me how my day was? “I don’t want to talk about it,” I’d say. And then after the Day Job, you would ask me how my day was… My answer.

“I don’t want to talk about it…” Your granddaddy is in his sixties and you’re in the ground. Well, a box. Whatever. Speaking of things, rather words that cause trouble.

Madness, Baby B. I don’t know what I was thinking yesterday or this morning. An hour or two costs a lot. Sorta like Yabbos. Which is why I warned you…

As Will Smith sang about:
“Listen, homeboys don’t mean to bust your bubble. But girls of the world ain’t nothing but trouble” Girls Ain’t Nothing But Trouble by DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince.

So, I know you and me and all other people have talked about plenty since you… I don’t know. I’m not really feeling the word died. It implies you’re gone, and I need you more than any set of Yabbos. Moved on? That’s the same thing. Transitioned? Now that’s a loaded word. Anyway, I’m going to tell you about what happened yesterday. Because with what happened this morning. My actions. Eww! But Cherry could say she still does it for me. Yabbos I’ve never seen… I need to talk to her this morning. But I’m here talking to… Pure Imagination…

Braxton Squared. You know, one of my favorite heroes is The Incredible Hulk. And why?

“That’s my secret Cap. I’m always angry.” Dr. Bruce Banner

What really sets me off, B is the fact that I’m still here, alive and breathing. And for what hmm…

So I’m “awake and alive” Wednesday morning because of some Yabbos and a cute butt.

Now everybody know I’m a mother effing monster, a savage. And other songs from Tillie Cole’s Sick Eff Playlist (rolls eyes). But the universe tends to remind me lest I forget. So I get to the door, and the boss starts screaming while cute butt smirks. So, I scare people?

There’s more. I’m still so mad standing at my locker that I start playing “I Hate Everyone” by Get Set Go,” sigh. Am I in trouble? I don’t know, but I know that was a madman thing to do. And I’ve been wondering. If only I could have shared my emotions so candidly with you. Pets, hugs. 2-V is here.

Feelings… Braxton, Will, Madmen… Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 114 ~I’ll B Running Virgil~

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Did I outrun love or did B outrun me? God is Love… My Braxton is Love. He nearly made it to 16. Virgil is a quarter of the way there at 4. But what am I really running my mouth about today? Drowning in emotion or an energy shot. I’ll B Running Virgil

Wednesday, October 23, 2024

Meditation 114 ~I’ll B Running Virgil~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Like the MAGA hats, if I’m breathing, I’m lying. But instead of asking why. Let’s focus on how.

For the record, today is Saturday, October 19, 2024. (Record Scratch) “Yup, that’s me; you’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.” Honestly? I downed an energy shot and decided to clean up Braxton’s yard. Shouldn’t I go start calling it Virgil’s yard? He turned four on Sunday. What was I doing when Braxton was that age? Sigh…

That’s the thing, Inspector. It’s not why I was his father. His Dad, but how. Don’t worry, your pretty head; we’ll get to females in a minute. Braxton found me. Love is louder and faster. Did I ever tell you I wanted to run track in school, Inspector Echo? Running.

I wasn’t in school when he found me, but he kept up. I carried him. My little boy B III.

Well, when he grew older. I’m never going to stop missing him. And I’m never going to stop saying how much being forty sucks. Thirty-nine, thirty-eight, thirty-seven… All the way “Back at One.” Again, Girls, Girls, Girls, comes later. But a couple of hours ago, in the backyard, much like at the Day Job, I started having terrible thoughts. “My future? It’s coming on, it’s coming on, it’s coming on.” And that means failure, fewer dollars, and the magic word, Inspector. FEAR! I’m awake because I’m afraid of everything. Everyone!

Echo, it’s all of the time. Ask me to name a fear off the top of my head. Water. Drowning.

I say I’m going to overflow like Mamimi Samejima from FLCL. And here we go.

If I’m not sweating because of some phantasm in “my” nightmares. Catching some form of the plague. Or doing public works. Uh, cleaning up the yard for puppies or neighbors.

Then I’m up because of my… A private part of my anatomy. Not so private for $5.00 or $100 for “The Full Monty” face and all. Pumping my life away. However, I wonder if energy shots REALLY help me push myself forward or if it is The Placebo effect. The constant questioning and self-doubt are a part of me now.

Whatever it is, Inspector, it has me at the dining room table and not swimming in sheets upstairs. And I can’t swim. Not without some pretty chick with giant floaties. AKA nice Yabbos. But somehow, Braxton kept me on solid ground. I’ll B Running Virgil

1361 Days Without B III, Day 802 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 110 ~Preparations For Braxton, Virgil~

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On Oct 19, 2019, I was in a hotel room in Rockford, Illinois, preparing to attend a wedding. It was the longest B, and I had been apart since fighting with the Old Man. And love is a long, long road. Be prepared, huh? Preparations For Braxton, Virgil

Saturday, October 19, 2024

Meditation 110 ~Preparations For Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I have a bunker somewhere. A few “pew, pews.” A pretty girl for loneliness…

Eww! Can I stop being gross, just for one day? Can I stop missing my Braxton? How about no, Lady Lunalesca. How about putting Virgil first? Tomorrow is his birthday.

Preparations? If Braxton, my firstborn son, and Virgil, my second son, have anything in common, sigh. I wasn’t ready to find either one of my boys. Braxton showed up in my Old Man’s hands one night. And Virgil showed that he could use a training pad. A testament to my laziness. And I wasn’t ready to lose my little B. But despite me being a meanie, I’ve been panicked every now and again over Virgil.

But again, what will I be doing for Virgil’s birthday? Lunalesca, last night was bad. Honestly, I can’t even remember it. Mad at the BBBQ. Sad for myself. And bad. I could really use your support right now, Lady Lu.

Be Prepared. Isn’t that what THEY say? That’s why the bed makes the perfect spot, my lady. “If I lay here. If I just lay here.” I could’ve saved Braxton. And what about saving “my” country. MAGA might take Virgil because… “First let me explain that I’m just a black man.” Was that supposed to be funny, Lunalesca? Today’s politics… It’s why I stick to fiction. I’m still not over Everything Dies: Season One. And then there was a movie.

The Substance… Well, I saw it. And I want it… And speaking of want. Again, there’s Little Virgil, who wants a better Dad. I wasn’t prepared for my two boys, but Braxton got a Dad, and Virgil got a father. Guardians of the Galaxy, much. I feel like I’m failing as a man, Lady Lu.

And that is something I’m never prepared for, like an effing zombie virus. It’s inevitable.

My… Passion! Though I haven’t really thought about Zoe Saldana since The Losers. And I’ve seen Pom Klementieff’s Yabbos because the algorithm knows me too well. But who’s Yabbos was I staring at today as I fought to rise to this seated position, Lady Lunalesca?

Of course, there was Cherry’s. There’s a nurse from Silent Hill. Oh, B’s honorary aunt.

Not her Yabbos! I’ve seen them. I just remembered her wedding to her former hubby.

The preparations it took to get to her wedding day and, according to her, “ain’t nobody humpin’ around” back then. I haven’t been humpin’ around in years. And loving anyone? Myself? Preparations For Braxton, Virgil

1357 Days Without B III, Day 798 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 109 ~That’ll B Dawn, Virgil~

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The things I think about come dawn. Why am I up at dawn? Where is Braxton? That was a nice dream about Michelle Trachtenberg. I need to do a book review about Bikini Dawn. What time do I have to work today? Oh, it’s Friday… “That’ll B Dawn, Virgil.”

Friday, October 18, 2024

Meditation 109 ~That’ll B Dawn, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Chapter one, page, word, whatever. I always feel like I’m starting over. Everything Dies: Season One…

While I’ll be doing a book review today… A review? Ha-ha! It won’t be for a T.W. Malpass novel. As heavy as that book is. I don’t even have children… AHEM, Virgil? But my lady, you know how I am regarding kids. I want to be a father someday… Funny!

I’m all about the jokes today. I can’t REALLY be a father when I put my firstborn son in a box and a pendant. Such is my Braxton. And Virgil? He was in Braxton’s room, peeping around the corner to see if I was up yet. And earlier, I was up in the dark… in more ways than one, thinking about Yabbos. So, I’m back to day one. But when did I read “Bikini Dawn…”

Night’s Riding Then Bikini Dawn:

Five stars! And that’s not only because of all of the “Yabbos.” This third installment of Michael Dalton’s Bikini Series was heavier than the second. Again, not because of Yabbos. If anything, there was a question a while back. How many “partners” does it take to make up a harem? Three works for me. And then there was their Papa Bear. Some of my favorite parts… Okay, okay, other than all the Yabbos, it was them answering the threesome vs harem question. The nostalgia of late-night softcore films. And the dream… My friends would be living the dream with this type of life. There’s one who really likes older guys.

I like girls and money. This book checks the boxes.

Okay, so am I feeling better now? Again, with what I read last night. And with what I had to read this morning. And then there’s what I didn’t read. B III’s finished novels, Sophia.

No, I would rather read the Day Job schedule, and have nightmares about it being Monday instead of Friday. However, I am surprised I didn’t dream about Emily, Vincent, and Kristin. Did I just spoil my latest read? I love my “sons.” But having a daughter… Let’s just say that I understand Vincent. Had it been my B III… No, I’m still alive. I’m here.

Sophia, I’ve been trying to look up stories of courage. Words from the bravest men.

However, what will I read next? That’ll B Dawn, Virgil.

1356 Days Without B III, Day 797 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 108 ~A Bargain Braxton… Virgil~

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I’m reading a story I’d never share with B. And on Sundays, he knew to shut up so I could watch The Walking Dead. Could I give up the Dead for him? Sure. What about the WWE? Yep. Cheap, tawdry addictions for my son’s life? “A Bargain Braxton… Virgil”

Thursday, October 17, 2024

Meditation 108 ~A Bargain Braxton… Virgil~

1355 Days Without B III, Day 796 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Was my day exhausting? I’m sure. Humiliating? Of course. Am I being a meanie? Um…

I don’t like lying to you, B. If I hadn’t lied to you before, who knows? I would have seen you couldn’t handle my RAGE, and I could have gotten you help sooner. Now Virgil…

Virgil doesn’t deserve my WRATH. And I’m not that mean. If anything, I’m still grieving. From Sunday, January 31, 2021 to Thursday, October 17, 2024. And for the record, today is Sunday, October 13, 2024. Since we’re talking today, you know this week is Hell.

Braxton, every week without you feels… I don’t know. Bargain Basement Cheap. You’re bargaining with me to breathe for one more day. And in case you don’t get it (you were always so bright). Bargaining is the word for today. So, what brought this on?

Your guess is as good as mine. But while I was reading Everything Dies: Season One yesterday. I got to thinking. That’s never a good thing. Anyway, there’s The Five Stages of Grief, and so:

Denial: Your bed remains in the bedroom. Your food and meds are still on the counter after all these years. I haven’t changed the bedroom décor or thrown away clothes. It’s as if I’m still holding on to the hope that you’ll come back, refusing to accept the reality of your absence. But I know.

Anger: I hid my feelings, trying to shield you before your passing. I nearly punched out a manager after. You hadn’t been gone half an hour before your grandpa said to get a new “dog.” The anger I felt at that moment was overwhelming, a mix of grief and frustration at the insensitivity of others.

Bargaining: Why we’re here today.

Depression: Common as my anger

Acceptance: This will NEVER happen. The idea of accepting your absence feels like a betrayal, a denial of the love and bond we shared. How can I accept a world without you in it? NEVER!

I could continue always and forever, but the Day Job.

After you passed, I was a monk (Ha-Ha) for 161 days. And what was it that broke me, B III?

My love for you was so easily broken? Now, this isn’t about you. But I tell myself that I would do anything to have you back. And if I were to give up “adult situations…”

Braxton, “I don’t ever want to feel like I did that day.” Indifferent? Zombie-like? Worse?

RAGE, RAVISHMENT, REVOLVISION, the darkness, B. Everything Dies: Season One.

The things I desire, dictate upon the page and do are bargains. Being your Daddy. Braxton, that’s what cost me Everything. And I wonder if I’m failing to pay the cost or don’t want to. To exist? For Virgil? Forty years. A Bargain Braxton… Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 107 ~Braxton, Virgil, Dad’s BS~

WillLeave a comment

Even without a whole lot of food, toothpaste is still needed and plentiful. I was lucky to find fajita chicken, a bag of tortilla chips, some shredded cheese, and salsa. Wait? I’m supposed to be starving and celibate… Braxton, Virgil, Dad’s BS

Wednesday, October 16, 2024

Meditation 107 ~Braxton, Virgil, Dad’s BS~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… And how is that sitting in bed today? Bothering to wake up. Opening my mouth. Taking a breath.

I’m sure Braxton would call it BS. Especially since he no longer breathes. One more reason I’m ashamed about today. Or should I say yesterday? Honestly, I’m such a Republican.

Not really, Inspector. EFF MAGA! But you know what I mean. I’m so ashamed about the past, but at least I have the stones to talk about it with you. What about Little Virgil, Echo?

Virgil and I don’t talk. Ever… However, I’ll ask him the same questions I once asked Braxton whenever I came back to the house. Manners Maketh Man. Right, dearest Echo.

“Just me, Baby V. Did you have a good day? Good day?” Ask Virgil how many times I’ve confused the letters V and B. It’s not funny. I know, Inspector.

The things that come out of my mouth. And what’s the last thing I’ve said to Virgil. I woke up at 3:48 AM because it wasn’t a good night. Only to say… well, the s-word and why. I’m talking to you at 8:54 AM, so I’m late. What was I doing last night besides trying to make chicken nachos? Inspector, I have a theory that Braxton was always eating because he didn’t want to tell me the truth. His full belly was pushing out sadness…

Eww! Was that a joke about Braxton’s bathroom breaks? I meant I’ve never seen Braxton sadder than when he had a full belly. His last days? When it was empty…

Braxton’s Euthanasia beats out any sins I’ve ever committed existence-wise.

But let’s talk about yesterday. There’s all my talk of making a better “life” that doesn’t mean anything. When I wake up to mornings like this, Inspector Echo. Wasting time.

I can talk about the blonde in the gold bikini that broke me after what? Three days? As the song goes, “He doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” After I woke up my “Big Willy,” Inspector. Eww! And if it hadn’t been her, it would have been Cherry. Moaning, stroking.

Besides the stress from the Day Job, take a look around this place… “I got enemies, got a lot of enemies,” lots. “Many men. Many, many, many, many men.” Then there’s looking up bad guys. Like Isaku? My big mouth, Inspector. Dad’s BS, Braxton, Virgil

1354 Days Without B III, Day 795 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 103 ~Billing Nights, Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Hillary Clinton is a better person than Lauren Boebert and MTG. But if we were voting for adult films… Well, in politics or “poonanny” (puts on Ice Cube shades). I’d go AOC. So, I had a dream about bills, maybe… “Billing Nights, Braxton, Virgil”

Saturday, October 12, 2024

Meditation 103 ~Billing Nights, Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I can afford some “good” drugs. And no more Sour Punch before bed. Okay?

Last night was a bad night. I’ve had worse. The first night Braxton wasn’t here… Am I finally back to crying about B? I cried today, and it was only 7:45 AM. And that’s only out of disappointment that I’m already counting today as a loss. What about 4:00 AM?

Lady Lunalesca, if it wasn’t for the alarm on the phone, who knows how long I would have been trapped inside a nightmare. No, Trump wasn’t there. But alas, I’m starting to become like him. I dreamt of being trapped inside of a snowstorm with… Hillary Clinton, I swear. Chelsea Clinton had taken off. So a voice said we had to face her hubby ha-ha.

Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill! Where’s the science, though?

I often dream of women. Sans clothing… How many years has it been, Lady Lunalesca?

Talking to you AGAIN began because I had a terrible night with some woman, Lunalesca. A woman that was nowhere close to being mine. That’s why it’s no insult to not dream about Braxton’s Aunt. Honorary, mind you. Braxton wouldn’t have minded her in bed.

Only… I’ve never been close to having Cherry here, so I dream about her. Again, sans clothing. And how I begged… M Anime too. English and Latina women, dear Lunalesca.

But WHO broke me last night? Why am I so late talking to you? Between dishonoring my boy, bad dreams, and “busting a nut.” A brunette gymnast with pink fingernails.

Elaborate fantasies weren’t needed, Lunalesca.

Not that I could foot the bill for any of them? Do you remember all that money that went to my Old Man’s friend, Bill? I’m forty and barely pay any bills. My bum’s existence.

Lunalesca, I’m trying to figure out what that nightmare meant. If anything, for me. Hmm…

To recap, last night included fajita bowls and sour punch candy. So, my dietary habits.

Another night without a warm body beside me. Braxton’s in a box. Virgil was in B III’s room. Ironically, the only time I paid for “company” was for an adoption fee and a pretty maid.

It could be financial stress and betraying my boy. Braxton won’t have a stepmom, so why do I need a woman? Billing Nights, Braxton, Virgil

1350 Days Without B III, Day 791 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 102 ~Braxton’s Missing Tomes Virgil~

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If Goodreads is any indication, I had the honor of reading to my son for seven years. How many of those books were appropriate? But reading about the stars, he would one day go to… But books are expensive? So is food… “Braxton’s Missing Tomes Virgil”

Friday, October 11, 2024

Meditation 102 ~Braxton’s Missing Tomes Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… If I can remember any of them. There’s “Morning Star.” A book review? Today? We’ll see…

But no promises. I couldn’t even get out of bed. Because what have I been reading besides books filled with women sans their clothing… There’s such enjoyment in saying that. Ha! Are my reading habits as unpredictable as the weather?

Anyway. Eight of the last nine books after Morning Star were about “Girls, Girls, Girls,” Sophia. Even Meat by Joseph D’Lacey had (adult situations). And I’m not talking about cannibalism and violence… Is that why I’m reading about the dead? Uh, zombies? My favorite monsters.

I wouldn’t imagine I’d have trouble with people. But if Braxton was an undead creature… Hell! Dr. Robert Neville dealt with Samantha. I’m a nobody. But Braxton. He is LEGEND. It’s like he’s alive in the pages. So I wish.

So, where are Braxton’s stories? What am I reading to remember Braxton? I’m a devil. Darrow, on the other hand…

A Morning With Morning Star
Morning? Is it morning already? How long have I been up reading Morning Star by Pierce Brown? And how long did it take me to decide to give five stars? Other than interrupting my sleep schedule… And, dare I say, a bit of a twist ending. There was nothing not to like about this book. Uh SPOILER… It’s like Darrow getting out of that box. After that, it’s all “go, go, go.” Blood, brotherhood, “babes…” and blowing stuff up all over. But my favorite part… The beach? The end? But how? I mean, I know how, but REALLY? Servo and Victra had more time. But I’d gladly share this book with friends to read about Darrow and Virginia and others… It’s a rollercoaster of emotions, and I can’t wait for you to experience it too.

Not much of a book review, but I’m not much of a writer… Braxton’s books. And what about Virgil’s someday… I’m weaker. And that’s not only “my” old-age talking. What do you want me to say, FORTY? Anything that wouldn’t make censorship necessary. Effing FORTY!

What about food? That’s one more reason I’m late talking to you today, Lady Sophia. There was everything. From reading my Day Job schedule to reading my latest grocery bill. Seventy bucks! And that’s for a variety of chips and two types of chicken. It’s not like Virgil is starving and dying. He has plenty of food as long as he’s not stressing out when I leave and making a mess on the floor. Reading to him about zombies…Decent enough. Only… Braxton’s Missing Tomes Virgil

1349 Days Without B III, Day 790 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 101 ~Braxton The Professional, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Everyone Says Hi. But that’s the Day Job for ya. And it’s next week. After I wasted most of this week thinking someone fired me without telling me. Well, Braxton found new employment amongst the or at Hell’s Gates. “Braxton The Professional, Virgil.”

Thursday, October 10, 2024

Meditation 101 ~Braxton The Professional, Virgil~

1348 Days Without B III, Day 789 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Hopefully, it wasn’t a work day. Do they have jobs on The Rainbow Bridge, Braxton?

Are you giving Cerberus a break at the Gates of Hell? Ironic, isn’t it? I can’t REALLY say I’m in Hell because, according to my body, I am very much alive. And if I were with you, Braxton. You’d ensure I could never leave our “HOME” again. Never again. Professional.

Better a guard dog than a hitman, like Leon: The Professional. Again, “isn’t it ironic, don’t you think? When the truth is, I put you in the ground. Or rather in the oven… Ashes… Geez!

Braxton, I should not be making that type of joke as a particular type of person. No, not ever! Especially with “you know who” running for president. And the evil he and MAGA foster. Who do I think I am?

Whoever I am, whatever I am, it ain’t rich. And isn’t that what brings me to you today, my son? Oh, and I REALLY need to stop looking at those AI pictures of the senator…

Braxton, not that one. I mean Senator Padme Amidala. Before that, it was Kara from Detroit: Become Human. I am being gross and highly inappropriate. Uh, your aunt’s Yabbos… But it was Kara that broke me last night. Stress release after my Day Job order.

The schedule? Yeah, I got one for next week. Oh, the irony… (Rolls Eyes). They are the only ones I blame for your passing besides myself. And I feel good that I have that job…

Now that’s gross, evil, and rich rolled into one, Braxton.

I swear I woke up this morning after such and such a dream/nightmare… I felt as if I had been run over by a truck. It was The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident all over again.

You weren’t protecting me from such dreams and disgusting behaviors. What? It’s not your job. And it’s not Virgil’s either, as he snores away at the foot of the bed. And of course, I’m FORTY!!! And the Day Job must pay me more to afford both hearth and home. My manhood, I know. Your Grandpa paid your food and medical bills before the Day Job?

What do I want to do for a living? I’m trying to figure it out, Braxton. I want to make you proud, but it takes work. I miss you, son. If the money is lousy, you can always come HOME. Yet, Braxton The Professional, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad