Tag: Be Nice

Tale 215 ~B For Virgil’s Freedom~

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While I’m listening to my son’s playlist, “Love Is A Long Road.” What about loss or living? There’s also something called Acceptance… No, it’s not happening! There is a term I have been hearing. Freedom… from what, for what? “B For Virgil’s Freedom.”

Thursday, February 1, 2024

Tale 215 ~B For Virgil’s Freedom~

1096 Days Without B III, Day 537 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I mean, today is only just beginning, and yesterday… Is this what they call ACCEPTANCE?

Three years and counting. And I should have done more B. I know. But wasn’t that the whole point? If I had listened to you that Wednesday. I could have scrapped the Day Job that Thursday. And Friday? You weren’t dead yet. But they said you were on your way. And as I posted yesterday about you, “I said, he doesn’t look a thing like Jesus.” You were my savior.

How many pop culture references is that, by the way…? “When You Were Young?” “Send “Me On My Way.” And religious wise? I didn’t pray.

But that brings me to hearing your voice today and the first song I did hear today, Little B. Songbird…

While I was thinking about you, wherever you are, even if I’m stuck here crying over you. B, let me say… “And I wish you all the love in the world. But most of all, I wish it from myself.”

I think I finally understand that dream I had a couple of weeks back. You know, the one when you were a seagull. And you were eating some book I wrote. I wondered why you would be a seagull when there are so many birds in the world. Seagulls are known for making noise but not singing. They are also known for eating garbage. So yeah, you eating something I wrote. But why? Well, considering my slogging through pages, Braxton. It’s all garbage. Free garbage.

You’re not free to leave it yet, Braxton. I was trying to explain to your Aunt how I repeat the same routine year after year. I haven’t let you go. And I won’t be doing that. And here I go, crying again. Anyway. Like in life, you didn’t feel free to leave me. My selfishness. Braxton, you hang out, having to take the garbage your Daddy continues to spew forth.

And is that why V cries? He’s at least the color of a seagull. But it’s as if he isn’t free to be himself because, for the 537 days since he arrived, he only gets the scraps of “love. B.

Oh, what would it take to be free? All of us? It won’t be today. The 4th, 10th, 13th, 14th etc. B For Virgil’s Freedom

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 211 ~(Sonday) Someday, B, V~

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If I had a favorite song now… It’d be that bit from Fifteen Million Merits “I Have A Dream.” But years upon years ago, it was Sugar Ray’s “Someday”. Long before Braxton, but I sang to him. Maybe Someday I’ll see him again. (Sonday) Someday, B, V

Sunday, January 28, 2024

Tale 211 ~(Sonday) Someday, B, V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror. And yes, I’m making up words like I’m making up what happens today. Thursday, January 25, 2024

But there is not a someday for this. Forgetting. Three years ago, on Sunday, January 31, 2021, I watched my firstborn son, heir to my throne, defender of my kingdom, die. I hear no debate coming from you. I was twenty-one years old when Braxton Barks Bradford stepped into my world. And as you face existence, it’s been 1092 Days without him. Inspector Echo would have a field day with all the crimes I’ve committed against you. Hell! You didn’t even know her. I wasn’t supposed to make it out of my twenties. And here you are facing thirty-nine. But at least you have no tears to spare for that now. Hmm. Someday you’ll be forty? I don’t want to be, not like this. Never saving anyone? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined… Epiphany, Imogen Linn?
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Someday, I’ll be great enough to do so. It’s what I would tell myself and B III all the time. To be someone that could survive my fears in Gospel 211 ~Say The Word Willie~. The last time I would talk to Dirty Diana —first, my son and then her. I wasn’t even thinking about Braxton that day. If only I knew what that Friday held. Someday came so soon.

Where was I in 2023? I was deep in Saga 211 ~Avoiding BS… B, V~. I didn’t have any luck with that, with my granddaddy dying and all. And all I had to do to survive to get you here. You don’t owe me any favors or thanks. Unless between Thursday and now? Feeling lucky? But there’s Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined… Red Rising, Possibly?
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Someday, you won’t be sitting in bed talking to yourself, sweating, sniveling, and silent, waiting. For what? The simple answer is for the guy to come and fix the blinds. Embarrassing. Yeah, that I couldn’t save B III from the someday I knew was coming? Someday isn’t someday for you anymore as you look at me and I look at you. Time is running out. And I don’t mean to rush and put some clothes on so I can continue this miserable existence. Whatever happened to all my positive talk? Do you see what day it is? THEY say someday it won’t be so bad. You still have three, as I’ll waste mine, I know. But do it for Braxton. SOMETHING! (Sonday) Someday, B, V

1092 Days Without B III, Day 533 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 208 ~Will B Talking, Virgil~

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Sad as the world is, I still talk to my dead furry son Braxton because he beats everybody still walking around. Not that I can say I am any better. I only wished I’d talked to him more. Before the Thursday, he really got sick. Will B Talking, Virgil.

Thursday, January 25, 2024

Tale 208 ~Will B Talking, Virgil~

1089 Days Without B III, Day 530 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Will I have a good day? Considering it’s 5:30 AM and the flashbacks have started.

Three years ago… Monday, January 25, 2021, Gospel 208 ~Collective Madness Is Called Sanity~. I was scared for you. Of course, it wasn’t all about you, and it should’ve been. Only, did you know? I was busy crying about stuff I had done. I had no idea that “There Are Worse Things I Could Do.” Like never speaking to you again. I didn’t know, Braxton.

But I know today is the last day I’ll speak to you before the three-year mark of your passing. There is something about that number, like fifteen, thirty-nine, and whatever is in the bank now.

Not that it matters this week. But I wish I’d planned better. “Even if you knew what to do, you wouldn’t know what to do.”

How do you talk to a dead man? A child? Because that is what you’ll always be to me, B. My child, my son, and my little prince. And all the times I would tell you that you would be as tall as a king one day. Yep, and I sent you straight to Heaven. Only I didn’t tell you that’s where you were going. I didn’t know how to talk to you that week. Hell! According to my own words, that week, I was speaking to Madam Justice on the Thursday before the week began. And I posted on Sunday, January 24, 2021. But let’s not get bogged down in the numbers. As the song goes, say what you need to say. So what?

I know with utmost certainty that Virgil is not you reincarnated. And you’re no zombie. And even if you were, and with my appointment with the eye doctor, I’d never see it, Braxton. So I wouldn’t be able to put you down. Did I really say that? You were breathing.

Braxton, you were alive, if not well. And there is paperwork showing I did that. And why was that again? Um, I am your father… I need to shut up. There are plenty of reasons to. Because I don’t want to say goodbye? I’m sorry, isn’t going to fix anything. To prove I’m not crazy…

Wednesday, January 31, 2024, we’ll be closer than ever, and the day after that, B III. Will B Talking, Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 204 ~Same Ole B, V~

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Same time next year? I haven’t changed since the moment I watched my son die. I washed the hoody I would always wear… Damn, Root Beer! But B’s bed and a pair of his pillows are in the closet. And his favorite toy. He’d be 19, but the “Same Ole B, V.”

Sunday, January 21, 2024

Tale 204 ~Same Ole B, V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror. And let’s consider the fact that you can face me as a win. That’s you being positive.

You won’t be having many more days like this. Oh, you’ll do plenty of time travelling in preparation of next week. Even now, I’ve spoken to Lady Sophia and Madam Justice. I’m speaking to you from Friday, January 19, 2024. Because yeah, Sunday sucks. Sunday hasn’t been the same since Braxton. Or any day that ends with the letter Y.

Saturday, January 20, 2024
“Every Day Is Exactly The Same,” as the song goes. I swear, yesterday, I was sitting right here. A bit later in the day, sure. There was a lie weighing on my conscience. But for now… I’ve started reading a new book. And as much as it pains me, I have admitted the lie, or I will with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls 4, Eric Vall
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 017, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 000 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

I’m gonna make a change… It’s more like I need to make a change. That is what I leave to you every Sunday. I’ll change the bedsheets before then. Or so I hope this afternoon. The changes that happen to me aren’t things I choose. Such filthy and disgusting things.

No, I don’t mean that. But for the record, the girl that broke me, “HK.” You’re a dirty old man. Hell! I could say the same thing about Braxton and his Aunt’s big boobs, remember?

Anyway, when I say filthy now… The very floor Braxton once walked has changed. Sigh.

His bed still rests in its place. Virgil has learned to avoid it. Three years without its original owner. And these same Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined… Epiphany, Imogen Linn?
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

At this time… three years ago, I was still quaking in my boots with fear. Gospel 204 ~Will Looks Past Tit~. One of the last times I would talk to Dirty Diana. Dirty old man. Ridiculous! I didn’t know real fear until I was watching my firstborn son die. Hmm.

Saga 204 ~Spelling Virgil Without B~. Last year, I was no better. But that’s when you come in. It looks like I’m putting a lot of pressure on you. Uh! You’ll be the version of me that will have to talk to the murderer. After your week comes the worst day in all of existence. Think about it like Braxton changing. For better or worse? I can’t ask you to be… Same Ole B, V.

1085 Days Without B III, Day 526 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 201 ~B’s Two Weeks, Virgil~

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How long have I had my Day Job? It’s close to how long I had B III. One thing he and V share. Both hated me leaving. Two things. I stopped sharing my day with B and V. Three, telling them there’d be a better life and world. B’s Two Weeks, Virgil

Thursday, January 18, 2024

Tale 201 ~B’s Two Weeks, Virgil~

1082 Days Without B III, Day 523 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Are you having a good week? The last two? Incoming. Time Travel is a pain.

First, there’s this fact. I’m talking to you on Sunday, January 14, 2024. And no worries, I’ve already got the 31st and 1st off. Not that you want me crying for two days straight. Honestly, Braxton, I need the fluid. But I don’t know if I’ll still be sick when you see this. Braxton, I know that was a horrible choice of words. I didn’t know what was happening in your little body this day 2021. It was giving its two-week notice of leaving. Apparently, hmm. And I should have done something, anything. But as for me, it was Gospel 201, “Legs, Breasts, There’s Always Chicken.” One of your rules, Braxton. It was one of your last lessons, and I thank you for them all.

But when you needed me to listen to you… I’m going to be saying that a lot. Hell! I hate listening to myself. All last week, I refused to listen to my body. And what about “my” bank account? I’m making today harder by not recovering in bed and looking up the past. How does one say, “Happy Death Day?” And giving an actual two-week notice, Braxton? There’s a reason I’m at the Day Job sick… I can’t afford to stop working. Again, that’s a terrible choice of words, considering next to my indifference. Working so hard. THEY killed you—the Day Job; my existence there. We’ve talked about the RAGE. But my FEAR. That’s something I was feeling way back then, as well. Always…

Only today can we talk about something better. That’s the thing, B. Two weeks notice. It’s what I didn’t have back then. And if I had known. Aren’t I supposed to be on a positive kick? Sounding off about this month? Being sick? Seeing my son die. It seems silly to pretend that everything is normal. That we gon’ be alright. Do you remember every day I’d tell people that it’s another day? Rage, Fear, and Indifference. But B III. There were never two weeks left to love. Always and forever. Braxton, I’d never leave that behind. Being your Dad, Braxton is a job I’ll never quit. Ever. But the guilt, the grief, the furry guy on the floor, little Virgil. B’s Two Weeks, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 197 ~Virgil, That’s Sick B~

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It’s sick when I’m actually sick. A real excuse? So I do what? I go to the Day Job because I’m an American*. I saw The Book of Clarence because I’m a Black American. And I forget meds because I’m surrounded by zombies. Virgil, That’s Sick B

Sunday, January 14, 2024

Tale 197 ~Virgil, That’s Sick B~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror. And I take full responsibility for you being… well, you. I swear I went shopping yesterday. And…

As far as being positive… You are still alive. And I’m talking about people being all over the place at the drugstore and Walmart. When you’re around other zombies, it’s hard to tell that you’re dead. Or at least I was playing the role well. You are The Walking Dead.

Yet, if you still feel this way tomorrow morning… You’re doing what Braxton did… “When we pretend that we’re dead?” You know when Braxton became silent? And then you knew he was sick. But then he pretended to need sleep. Plenty. Ended up with him sleeping forever. No medication could have saved B. Or so I was told. Sigh. Financially, I could have gotten you something, though. But now, sitting here with Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Dog Love ― An Unbreakable Bond
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 011, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 017 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Are you as shocked as I am that you’re still hanging with number four? Seriously? The only sign that you’re getting better. Why else are some vices considered actual sicknesses? Between the ten bucks I wasted on OnlyFans… Bro, it was more that I liked breathing than some English lady’s “top shelf.” Cherry’s though? What A Heavenly Way To Die. Then there’s the fact that I fixed the computer. Okay, I changed versions, but dirty AI… And then there are reminders of all the “filing” needed in adult entertainment-wise. Ha!

That’s sick, bro. I mean, if you’re a certain kind of bro. And the two “men” I would consider my bros… Braxton’s my son. And Virgil Vivi wants to go back to bed. Who can blame him? Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Satan’s Sorority Girls 4, Eric Vall
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 017, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

I should have added talking to someone… for real. If I had my pick, it would be B III, my son always and forever. And who better to know your predicament than your best bro?

But since you’re doing your best impression of Leonardo DiCaprio’s (Richard) “No, I Will Not Die Today!” You could go and see a doctor? There’s your congestion, burning nose, and aches and pains all around. My last few visits could have been better. Docs, Reapers…

“And though you fight to stay alive, your body starts to shiver.” Thank you, Michael. Anyway, Thriller won’t be on your morning routine playlist. For now, that’s Fifteen Million Merits and The Book of Clarence. Is Heaven better, Braxton? Virgil’s napping. Virgil, That’s Sick B

1078 Days Without B III, Day 519 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 194 ~B Day Yet Virgil~

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Every day was B III and Dad’s Day. Well, according to B III. But Tuesday was a sick day. Today, 2022, was The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. And on the 31st of 2021. Well, let’s not get into that. I’m trying to be positive. Not B Day Yet Virgil

Thursday, January 11, 2024

Tale 194 ~B Day Yet Virgil~

1075 Days Without B III, Day 516 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I’m looking at three years without you. And the fact that I’m still counting, Braxton.

But that’s in 20 days. Not that today’s “holiday” is any better. Today we remember… Well, it’s more like, I remember, The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. The first one was on Tuesday, January 11, 2022. So what do I do with the day? A re-creation? No way! Today, I can start by being positive. I’m sure you could see me from wherever you were yesterday. I had my pants on, thank goodness. Humans, right? Your collar, Braxton. Virgil’s lying here and still doesn’t have one of his own. Well, he does, but I don’t let him wear it. His nails would get caught. And you remember those days quite well, Little B. Nail trimming takes money. And in case you’re wondering why I’m late. I’m trying to find some money.

And here’s to thinking I would find some on OnlyFans. Trust me, Braxton, your Daddy has done much worse things to give us the bare minimum. And I don’t want to think of your granddad now. But I’m walking across the new floor he bought. I’m an ungrateful, spoiled, uh… But that wasn’t you, son, no, not at all. When you were at your best and worse, B III (sigh). So yesterday, I was at my worst. At least so far for this year. A stuffy nose, and achy body. Virgil had no clue what to do. And me? Don’t I always write for no good reason? This is my first time writing a story in a few months. The computer won’t read it. NSFW. TMI, I kept you from.

Hell! I should have written it today in honor of The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident. To dream of that hot redhead from Fear The Walking Dead. And then every male gamer’s fantasy girl. But I dreamt of mutants running away last night and Josh Holloway, AKA Sawyer, looking for his pants. And then there was that girl Isabella Laughland, AKA Swift from, say it with me “Fifteen Million Merits.” If Virgil wasn’t lying right here… But no, Braxton. I’ll pass the day by seeing The Book of Clarence if I feel better. Ha. You’d always be pissed when your Aunt Carolina and I went to the movie theater. Staying “home” is always better. Oh, I will, by watching dog movies. Not, B Day Yet Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 190 ~Tick Tock, B, V~

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Sometimes, I think B gave me his ears. One of the reasons I love headphones and earphones… damn Day Job. If I listened to the clock more, I could listen to THEM less or never again. But no, I’m listening to music, movies, the mirror. Tick Tock, B, V.

Sunday, January 7, 2024

Tale 190 ~Tick Tock, B, V~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror. So much to say after the first week of the new year. I’m glad you found time.

Well… no, considering we were supposed to be talking at 1:00 PM, not 1:47 PM. Yesterday’s steak must not have been so good. Hmm? If you’re lucky, you can find some chicken remnants. I’m sorry. You’re on this new thing about being positive. Or neutral. Let’s not say indifferent. That will bring up how Braxton died and Virgil’s treatment. Ha. That would all be my fault because this is time travel. Truth be told. You haven’t even been “born” yet per se. And you know what I really want to say about that but positive. Happy New Year! So how’s it going? How many did you get? I swear The Mill keeps bouncing around in my, well, your head. 15,000,000 Merits? And Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING The Naughty List, Ellie Mae MacGregor
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 011 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Oh, not those, but that song that was in the episode. The “I Have A Dream” song has been driving me bonkers. And if you were lucky enough to forget in about 10 hours… congratulations, you now have an earworm. But I had a revelation, an epiphany, if you will. While I was watching the clock, I thought about this. You’ve never heard this song until 15,000,000 Merits. And 15 is your favorite number. Braxton’s age before passing. Anyway, think about the chorus, “I believe in angels, something good in everything I see.” That’s what I’m doing, and you will as well. Braxton is the angel. And you’re trying to be positive. “I have a dream…” B’s dead. You’re asleep. So dreaming, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Dog Love ― An Unbreakable Bond
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 011, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Hell! Like finishing our conversation in under an hour? Tick Tock MotherEffer, am I right? What else can I be right about on a Saturday? Should we bring up Virgil, who also has a dream now? So, going back to The Mill and 15,000,000 Merits. Two black men are working towards a dead end, yet good things transpire. Bingham got off the bike and ended up in an apartment. Alone but flushed with merits? Hulu’s The Mill saw Joe Stevens speak to his wife and soon-to-be-born child. And he got promoted, though he threatened his job. And what about me soon to be you today? You dream The Impossible Dream. Hear the clock ticking? Towards what this week? I don’t know. Tick Tock, B, V

1071 Days Without B III, Day 512 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Tale 187 ~B’s Book List Virgil~

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The Old Man asks me if I want to get the house furnished. Do I even have $5000.00? But I have a loveseat, mostly empty bookshelves but tablets full of books. But what to read. Braxton never really cared, but I value B’s opinion. B’s Book List Virgil

Thursday, January 4, 2024

Tale 187 ~B’s Book List Virgil~

1068 Days Without B III, Day 509 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? You know how “my” days usually go. I’m no good without an hour’s nap, Braxton.

Or three twenty-minute naps. But I’ve only taken two before the Day Job. Alarming. Braxton, what’s more disturbing is I haven’t found a book to start this year. What does that matter to you? Well, I’m sure you could read “my” T-shirts. Or I was great at taking pictures. I’m hoping you’re reading this wherever you are. Or is somebody reading this to you? Can you hear my voice? I’m not sure how the Rainbow Bridge works, Little B. There’s always the memory of you lying on the loveseat with me, Braxton. Today, why not ask you? I bought a “pet” book yesterday. Only I couldn’t bring myself to read it. So, am I asking your permission to read anything else? Something? I don’t know.

I’m not proud of it. Or am I? But we’re men, ain’t we? Hell! You’re a better man than me. Braxton, you were a regular Smooth Operator. Except your heart wasn’t cold. Now your nose… Anyway, you had your paws all over your aunt. And then you were down B. Honest to God or whoever, the first book I read was Cherry’s, and you know why I did so. You and I, Braxton… like father, like son. The things we do for pretty, pretty girls. Shameful. But at the same time, I’m asking for your book recommendations. I did cry today. Reading one more sad tome won’t do much harm. Harm! I killed you, Braxton. And 2022, oh, the books… Most grieving and mourning, you.

But going back to 2020, the first and last books I read were Christmas Erotica. 2021 started with a book from childhood. A Different Alchemy should have prepared me for your loss. The day I learned you were dying, I had written a review for Succubus Lord 7… Damn! That reveals why I listen to that series over and over again. By the end of 2021, it was back to Christmas Erotica. So 2023? Fifty-seven books completed, Braxton. Today, I ask, what now? Should I have another cry session about grieving fur babies? What about reading something to enrich myself? Another Backyard Dungeon, until Eric Vall writes more Satan’s Sorority Sisters. And what about “my” writing work? Reading, writing about us? B’s Book List Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Tale 183 ~Virgil, WILL B Resolute~

WillLeave a comment

“What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?” Looking at all the years, I regret… No! Before 2024. What’s one more year wasted as I see those all around me getting married, making babies, and making money. Would a manuscript do that? “Virgil, WILL B Resolute”

Sunday, December 31, 2023

Tale 183 ~Virgil, WILL B Resolute~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror. Last time you’ll be seeing me this year. “What a way to go, but have no fear.”

That should be the first song you listen to in the new year: Foo Fighters “DOA.” You remember, at the start of 2023, by accident, it was Crazy Town’s “Butterfly.” It doesn’t send much of a message. And this year has been anything but transformative. Discombobulation? You want to say “cluster…” But maybe you’ll hear from the critic one last time. Of course, it’s not “it” you want to hear from. It’s been almost three years without your son. Yes, you’ll take his final day off. Now that you know, the new year isn’t going to start too well. Humiliations Galore! Oh, you still have time, “This Is America.” But who are what are you? What are you doing, um, existing? With Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING “Wanna Scrooge?” “Christmas STUFFING,” “Santa is COMING”
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 000, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 004 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Can you leave Number Four in 2023? Keep your pants on, PLEASE! I swear that’s why you’re so late talking this morning. It’s 9:40 AM. What a way to start the day. The last day. Hmm. You know how badly you wish that was the case. On top of all the lists you must make today, New Year’s Resolutions, how that hurts your soul to look at. Sell your soul?

  1. Braxton’s Last Day, Sunday, January 31, 2021
  2. My E-Day Emergence, Existence, Extinction
  3. Day Job… Wednesday, August 24, 2011
  4. “Healed” Broke my “Abstinence” Thursday June 3, 2021
  5. Braxton’s Birthday, Sunday, February 13, 2005
  6. The Zoe Colletti/Tifa Lockhart Incident Tuesday, January 11, 2022
  7. Virgil’s “Gotcha Day” Saturday, August 13, 2022
  8. Virgil’s Birthday, Tuesday, October 20, 2020 (Not Braxton’s Reincarnation)
  9. The Cherry Collision Thursday, February 16, 2023
  10. Basic Bitch, Monday, August 7, 2017

So many days. But when will you find one to complete these Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING To Be Determined Sometime This Week
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Albums
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 004, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Hell! Where do you get off thinking you even have a soul to sell? It wouldn’t bring Braxton back from the darkness. Oh, as much as you want to return your life, ha. You’ll live to see the New Year. Talk about a curse as King Leonidas told the traitor, “May you live forever.” You want to be a writer, but then look at all these days. To be resolute; to make resolutions. It’s more your biological imperative. Live/Exist this year? Virgil, WILL B Resolute

  1. I WILL learn to love, somehow I will learn How To Save A Life
  2. I WILL publish at least one book, a bestseller
  3. I WILL make one million dollars every single year
  4. I WILL write 400 Words every day (Goal 120,000)
  5. I WILL visit a brothel somewhere and also participate
  6. I WILL see a return. First significant investment
  7. I WILL produce adult films
  8. I WILL do NaNoWriMo
  9. I WILL have a relationship or sleep with some girl once a month minimum
  10. I WILL, at last, provide for myself and any of those deemed my family
  11. I WILL spend no more than $500 on Yabbos I can’t touch (Hentai Excluded)
  12. I WILL start work on my life goals Episode 345 ~You Got Will’s Number~
  13. I WILL be FEARLESS

1064 Days Without B III, Day 505 of Virgil’s Arrival

BLM Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will