Journey 246 ~B-V Options, Ahem M~

I didn’t choose to have a dream, but for some inane reason, I’m choosing to talk about it. The bed is becoming a splash zone. No! I don’t have a cappuccino, and V hasn’t been sick. B, help me if he does. I chose to be broke… B-V Options, Ahem M.

Wednesday, March 4, 2026

Journey 246 ~B-V Options, Ahem M~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… More to the point, I choose to sin. And unlike MAGA, at least I own it. Like Sean:

“I was a conscientious choice, I didn’t (eff) up!”
Sean

But do I really want to discuss Good Will Hunting with you today? Inspector. Choose?

“I could spend my whole life good will hunting
Only good gon’ come is as good when I’m cumming”
Run This Town (2009) Kanye West

Again, more to the point, which is becoming my new OF COURSE… Read my book, Echo, you’ll get the point. Anyway, the word for today is CHOICE. It’s having options.

Braxton vs. Virgil and M Anime. The Dead vs. the Living. The elephant in the room. Or would you rather I talk some more about Whiteout Survival? Embassies, Fire Crystals…

I’m reading yet another book on “pet loss,” Remember Me by Reese Taryn. I’m broke, Inspector Echo, in more ways than one. So my aunt told me once, I wanted to destroy the world. No! I only choose the ashes. And then you came along, being Virgil and M Anime.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“You’re Not Here,” thank you ever so much, Akira Yamaoka. I know Braxton’s dead, but I have never and will never accept the death of my firstborn son. I tell myself, “He Lives In You,” like something out of The Lion King. So that means I’m being pushed towards living. “Thank God I’m A Country Boy.” “I’m So Thankful.” Inspector…

Honestly, I should cut off Spotify and YouTube because I need to tell you about my wet dream. Eww! Not like that, Echo, but yeah, sex was very much seen. I saw life times three.

The first part, I was still in my bed, breathing heavily after M Anime, and I had… Do I have to spell it out? The bed was disheveled and wet.

The second part of the dream, my favorite part, I might add, was straight out of the series The O.C. I was in a hot tub, but instead of Summer and Marissa, I was with Kyouko Sakai, from Kojin Taxi 2/Sex Taxi 5 and M Anime. And let’s say I did what Seth should’ve had.

But the last part, which brings me to you today, is this. I was some trailer park hillbilly standing in the doorway. M Anime was filling up a kiddie pool with the hose. Us having kids? And what about Virgil? Scratching at the door, sniffing around the deck, and jumping in the pool. Three paths or one road, and the choices. Forgiveness, Females, Fatherhood, Fur Buddies. B-V Options, Ahem M

1858 Days Without B III, Day 1299 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 245 ~V Two Times B~

Today I woke up feeling like I missed the school bus. I wouldn’t wish my high school experience on others. But Cherry’s writings make me wish I had stayed in college. M Anime uses her words to learn about herself. And paying for V? V Two Times B.

Tuesday, March 3, 2026

Journey 245 ~V Two Times B~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And love is weird… It’s complicated. It’s a long, long road. It’s Math, Reading, Language…

Weird Science. Hell! I tell myself daily, “She Blinded Me With Science.” Um, the “Twins.”

Am I talking about your Yabbos or our younglings? “What’s My Age Again?” The fact that I can’t remember how many kids we have. Just Kidding! But there is always room for one more, isn’t there? It’s “What I Go To School For.” Or didn’t. Affording our big family, hmm.

And to think, once upon a time, it was only B III and me. Are you sure I talk about him enough? Though you never met my firstborn son. Then came Virgil. 2-V. It’s complicated.

Honestly, is he a Facebook status? And you’re music, History now and again. Dare I say even theology? Because being your man. A Man Provides.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

But how? That’s what I was thinking about this morning. There is barely any cappuccino mix. And what about something as simple as toast? I’m sauce boss right now because I have butter and jam, but where’s the bread? Too busy thinking about eating you.

Seriously, the kids should be at school, and Virgil is on a constant Soma Holiday.

However, do I wish to join him? All “Brave New World” Aldous Huxley style. That would have made an excellent Harem Romance written by others. Are you my Lenina Crowne, and I’m… The Savage, or more like Bernard Marx. If only Math had more words.

And what’s with all my talk of Higher Learning? Um, Forrest Gump articulated his view:

“I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.”
― Forrest Gump (1994)

22, 27, 34, 37, 41

Cue the Ben-Hur Galley Drums, Right 41? Is this my version of Hurley’s lotto numbers from “Lost”? “4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42.” AI told me that Journeys 22, 27, 34, 37, 41 were my strongest entries. 22 is where I told it to begin analyzing, and it picked these over twenty days. How do I interpret that? 22 was Inspector Echo, and the others are Braxton and me talking. And here we are on 245, what does that say to you? Gotten worse? Forgotten?

Everything but sexually, because currently, what am I into? My MILF of a wife. Sex Taxi 5/Kojin Taxi 2 in particular, Kyouko Sakai and kimonos. There I go again, I’d rather learn anything than know myself. V Two Times B

1857 Days Without B III, Day 1298 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 242 ~Almost A B, Virgil~

The theme for today is “Move B***H, get out the way.” There are stronger fighters than me. Better dog walkers. Better kids… My sister pays for her own crap, like a house. And me? The last time I was almost somebody was in the womb. Almost A B, Virgil

Saturday, February 28, 2026

Journey 242 ~Almost A B, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Almost. I’m only about $999,998,000 short. Speaking of short, I’m almost 6’ by way of 5’5”.

Yeah, that might matter to a girl like Leoshi “‘Cause she don’t know me, but yo, she’s really fine.” And what about “Moesha”? Speaking of pop culture, I can’t stand, my Olds watched it religiously—prime black television. But I despised Moesha and Frank Mitchell.

What a way to end another Black History Month, almost. Talking about Black people I don’t like. You would think I was turning MAGA, almost. But no. People hating people.

I wouldn’t say no to Michelle Obama. I enjoy watching Jasmine Crockett kick ass—Jahara Jayde (Homer drool). There was a time I was crazy for Misty Stone. Uh, Jenna Fox, when she was the college tutor. And here I thought I was going to speak somewhat righteously, Lunalesca. Almost.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

I’m getting tired of Almost like Braxton’s book “My Turn To B III” got tired of the words “Of Course.” And as Moesha/Brandy sings “Almost Doesn’t Count.” I’m always almost.

STUPID, I’m sure, but take this morning as an example: Whiteout Survival, State vs State fight. I position my city, and I’m quickly told to get to the back of the line. Why is that?

“Am I hard enough?
Am I rough enough?
Am I rich enough?
I’m not too blind to see.”
Beast of Burden by The Rolling Stones

“Higher, further, faster, baby,”
Carol Danvers, from Captain Marvel (2019)

And sadly, I know I’m not, I can’t be any of these things. Is that the right word, Lu, sadly?

Up until five minutes ago. “And then THEY call. And I remember.” My Olds, Lunalesca.

Then skin and bones, sickly, and yes, my dear, STUPID, all come to mind. I’m almost a man. “Human” and “Ordinary Human.” Their bum son.

Now you see why I hate my phone… Almost. Braxton despised the tiny glowing tech. “The Glow Box” in Braxton speak. But then there’s his potential stepmom M Anime, his Favorite Girl, and Cherry’s big Yabbos but even bigger brain. And me a B student? Lunalesca, I’d better be talking about Braxton because I sucked at Higher Learning. Oh B.

One bad playthrough, phone call, and playing the perverter of prose, and my day’s effed.

But I saved M Anime’s, almost. Do I love her like pancakes? Nah, that’s Braxton. However, thinking about some idiot game, the worst president in “my lifetime,” my Olds, and pretty much 99% of the human population. I can’t be almost! Not to her. Virgil. Braxton… Almost A B, Virgil

1854 Days Without B III, Day 1295 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 239 ~Virgil Calls B Magic~

When was the Masked Magician popular? The 90s. Braxton was nowhere near born. And existence was far from magical for me. And the people who wear masks and make people disappear nowadays? Oh Where, Oh Where Has My Little Dog Gone? Virgil Calls B Magic

Wednesday, February 25, 2026

Journey 239 ~Virgil Calls B Magic~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… How? I’m not a liar like the orange A-Hole. But I’m not a watcher like Wesley Wyndam-Pyrce either:

“The first lesson a watcher learns is to separate truth from illusion. Because in the world of magics, it’s the hardest thing to do.” ―

I’m not Morpheus from The Matrix either. I’m not even the Black Mage from Final Fantasy IX and Virgil’s namesake, Vivi. I’m just a regular, everyday, normal mothereffer, an “Everyday Normal Guy (2).” Like any of those guys from “The Magic Glasses” series by Neil Bimbeau, I read. Eff me, Inspector, I would kill for that success. “Here Come Success.”

No, let’s keep it PG and real… Somewhat. At least innocent. Braxton Barks Bradford, huh.

My son was far from innocent. Ask his Favorite Girl. But every day, Inspector Echo, I can create a world in which my son is “Safe And Sound.” Him and I and his brother, Virgil. Not to mention a bevy of beautiful women. A Harem? Innocent for a bit longer.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Is violence innocent? If it’s a mobile game like Whiteout Survival. If I’m not SLOW in my life, I’m lazy. And even in my slowness, slothfulness, and sleepiness, I’m angry.

Inspector, tonight I am calling for an “Iron Rain.” You know, like from the Red Rising series by Pierce Brown. What? HaremLit is a lot cheaper than books of substance. I can’t make money magically appear, you know. Wave a magic wand and get me to the Day Job on time. I have better luck with the ladies. “Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off.” Braxton’s Favorite Girl, Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom. Cherry? No, Inspector.

But anyway, I’m getting lost in Whiteout Survival (WOS). I’m looking forward to a bevy of Apex Troops. Iron Rain.

Not to be confused with my Iron ROD and what I did this morning. Was it the potential stepmom or Cherry? Kyouko Sakai, Kojin Taxi 2/Sex Taxi 5, or Madoka Araki from Discipline? Is it the whole kimono motif that I have going on? “Could it be that I’m just dumb and horny?” Thank you for the song “Diggin” from Cowboy Bebop: The Movie, hmm. Anyway, I’ve told M Anime enough that her yabbos are magic, damn near miracle workers at this forty-one-year-old is a mess in bed. Virgil doesn’t like to be kept waiting as I clean up, Inspector. Again, I’m not magical. I’m Titanium as much as M3GAN was. And now we’re talking.

About what exactly? Black Magic, being a World Builder, my Braxton? Virgil Calls B Magic

1851 Days Without B III, Day 1292 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 238 ~Beautiful U, B, V~

I thought of so many beautiful things as I was freezing my nuts off today. My manager was bragging about her birthday and how much I HATE my Emergence Day. I said beautiful, right? My boys. Boobs. My girl… and several others. “Beautiful U, B, V”

Tuesday, February 24, 2026

Journey 238 ~Beautiful U, B, V~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? “I Love You Too Much,” if that’s even possible. How long? “What’s My Age Again?”

“I Knew I Loved You before I met you. I think I dreamed you into life.” And before you say that’s enough of my infinite playlist, I should move on to movies instead, my love:

“Sometimes, there’s so much beauty in the world – I feel like I can’t take it, like my heart is just going to cave in.” ―

American Beauty seems prudent, given tonight’s State of the Union. And no, I won’t be watching anything that orange liar. Considering how I feel, “all I could use right now is an effin’ blow job and a cup of coffee. First, that was Will Hunting, but your Will agrees, my love. Second, I don’t drink coffee, but I do drink cappuccino. Lastly, “All these girls only gon’ want one thing. I can spend my whole life goodwill hunting. Only good gon’ come is this god when I’m cumming.” With that…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

What? You think I’m going to drop my pants right here? I would but life with you… And then there was life with my boys. You don’t have to worry about some girl being prettier than you. My boys, Braxton and Virgil? To this day, Braxton… “He’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Okay, so that’s American Beauty, Good Will Hunting, and now Forrest Gump. Anything not to watch the Cracker Hats tonight, eff MAGA and FDT now and always. “America the Beautiful,” Ha! Um no. The USA is dying. And me, my love. Well, I was reminded of all the beauty in the world this morning. It was like being back in that freezing truck at the OLD Day Job. Not my life…

“Oh No You Didn’t,” I’d sing to myself if my life before you and our family flashed before my eyes. Mercenaries 2? Video games are beautiful, but no. As I was freezing and praying to be reunited with my Braxton, I also thought of you, our kids, and Braxton’s brother.

Honestly, I remember an old manager speaking about her birthday. I HATE my effing Emergence Day. It was not beautiful. I’m an effing locust destined to bring so much bad.

Just one look at you. And I know it’s gonna be a… Lovely Day. But you know what else is beautiful? A painting called “Backwards Beauty.” I don’t know why it came to mind, love?

Us making love. Life. Lying here. Beautiful U, B, V

1850 Days Without B III, Day 1291 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 235 ~Braxton And Virgil Tops~

It’s not a headache. It’s not B’s furry butt telling me he needs to potty. It’s not even when my tablet fell and cracked my glasses. I still have eyes… But I feel like my head on my shoulders is too much. Me? My boys? Well, “Braxton And Virgil Tops.”

Saturday, February 21, 2026

Journey 235 ~Braxton And Virgil Tops~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… And you know I’m lying. A bad night’s sleep will do that—bad dreams, aka nightmares.

My own? Yeah, because if we were talking about Braxton and Virgil’s potential stepmom, I’d be hard as an effing rock. M Anime’s dreams turn me on. She and General Xu, Boss, and Associate. And two of my biggest fantasies at the moment. Cuckoldry, Ravishment.

Dreams? The only thing I remember about my dream last night was beating the crap out of some blonde frat boy like I was Will Hunting in “Good Will Hunting.” I had to take it out on somebody. That’s not good to say, considering I am a father. Wanna-be Husband:

“All these girls only gonna want one thing
I could spend my whole life good will hunting
Only good gon’ come is as good when I’m cumming”
Run This Town

Not just yet. Remember December? And now, the mid- to late week of June. Summer Vacation? Where to go, Lady Lunalesca? To the stars. Heaven. Take me to bed, Will.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

If a girl ever says those five words to me, I’m putty in her hands. I swear to Braxton, Lu:

In my hands, nothing turns to putty
― Michelle Huddleson

“Somewhere Only We Know.” “In My Place.” SIGH “Just one year and then you’d be happy.” That’s what Gerry Rafferty is singing about. In bed with my Boricua or on “Baker Street?” Speaking of the street, did I forget that I have a major cash issue to deal with, Lu?

Hell, I didn’t remember to go to bed until midnight. I woke up hunched over on this same love seat. And you wonder why I felt the need to bash someone’s head in. “In Dreams.”

Or maybe I was trying to wake myself up. “I’m Black, Y’all” and still ain’t MAGA. Eff them and FDT!

Um, the American Dream? Ok, I wish I could go all Christopher Stone, Freedom Fighters:

“New Yorkers, fellow Americans… I am Chris Stone, the so-called “Freedom Phantom”. I stand before you today a free man, and I vow to die a free man. Like you, my world was shattered eight long months ago. I watched as my family and friends were tortured, captured, and killed. I have nothing left of my former life… except the hope for a better future… a better future for our children – the American dream! I, for one, still believe in that dream. We’ve read this in our schoolbooks as children; now is the time for us to embrace those ideals and stand up against the weight of Tyranny. We have a duty to ourselves to throw off our oppressors. When I look around this city, I do not see smoldering ruins… no, instead I see a sleeping army, ready to awaken. The world is watching us now… how we respond will prove our claim. I stand before you and the world today to reaffirm the pledge our forefathers made to each other, and for each of us, to protect our lives, our fortunes, and our self-worth. So I ask you now to take up arms against the evil invaders and yell in their faces that.
THEY WILL NEVER TAKE OUR
FREEDOM!”
― Freedom Fighters

But, Hell, Lunalesca, what did I do for Valentine’s Day, Black History Month, Braxton’s Birthday? I haven’t even watched the Olympics. And didn’t I say I would look up some Black Haremlit authors? Damn, am I not a Black Erotic Author? Perv with a blog.

Worse. I’m a forty-one-year-old bum sitting on a loveseat playing Whiteout Survival, which is the thought that had me zoned out last night and waking up the way I did.

Lunalesca, I love my boys. Braxton and Virgil are tops. My four-legged sons. But crap:

“And maybe I forgot
All things I miss
Oh, somehow I know
There’s more to life than this.”
Kid Rock

Lunalesca, I want that white-picket fence, wife, family, that New York Times bestseller, my “adult studio. Braxton And Virgil Tops

1847 Days Without B III, Day 1288 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 232 ~Braxton, Virgil, Game On~

One night over twenty-something years ago, I could have been playing more Final Fantasy… Which was it, somewhere between 10 and 12? Anyway, we didn’t play in games. Don’t be a fool, wrap our tool. Still, I’m a father of two. Braxton, Virgil, Game On.

Wednesday, February 18, 2026

Journey 232 ~Braxton, Virgil, Game On~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… Hurry up and wait? Remember who you are? “Regrets, I’ve had a few.” A little early for music…

Not if I was at the Day Job. But we’ll get to that. Today, what had me wasting my little boys’ time this morning? If I were talking about my balls, I would have said big boys. And again, we’ll get to those, too. Also, eww! Today I mean B’s memory and Virgil’s Little Life.

The name of the game is Whiteout Survival. A Forty-One-Old-Man playing an effing mobile game. Effing developers! And let’s not forget those people I told M Anime about and their wicked ways. This morning has me very (Hercules Scream) Disappointed!

Inspector, eff Kevin Sorbo, eff MAGA, eff the Cracker Hats and FDT! But Whiteout, right?

What a way to put that game. Simply put, I’m losing and in last place.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

“In My Place,” SIGH. You should listen to me and M Anime sometime. Her place…

Inspector, I wish I could go all Dame Vaako with it, or that M Anime would one day soon, Echo. Do you remember what she said to her husband? Husband… me, am I in love…

“My place is at your side, dear husband. From here till underverse come.”
Dame Vaako

Not yet, dear Inspector. I still haven’t forgiven M Anime for Sunday, August 24, 2026. Only there’s something to be said about accountability. And when a hot Latina is saying she needs to be punished… Somehow, Inspector, I feel like Marv from Sin City saying:

“I’m staring at a goddess, she’s telling me she wants me. I’m not going to waste one more second wondering how I’ve gotten so lucky… She smells like angels oughta smell. The perfect woman. The goddess.”
Marv, Sin City (2005)

With everything she wants with me, I just remember what it was like my first time, Echo. The girl was a mix of Tegan Mohr, Leana Lovings, and Lana Tailor.

Why the eff didn’t I marry her… Picture a skinny black man barely in nothing but a pair of glasses and black socks in the back of a car in an empty parking lot in the middle of the night. Again, I have no quams with my body. It’s my face I hate the most. But anyway, I just received my first BJ (to make me last longer for round two), and this woman is…

Well, bouncing on my lap after she helps me get a condom on. Memories, Inspector…

And no, she wasn’t a “professional.” But paying for a woman… A Man Provides for his family. I’m broke. Life is a game. Love is the instruction. I can’t play… But Braxton, Virgil, Game On

1844 Days Without B III, Day 1285 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 231 ~Braxton Shapes Up Virgil~

“You better shape up. ‘Cause I need a man And my heart is set on you.” I’m trying. B knows I try. How many boxes did I unload Monday… 1300? I’m effing exhausted. Plus, talking to my furry son and a smoking-hot Latina. And V? Braxton Shapes Up Virgil.

Tuesday, February 17, 2026

Journey 231 ~Braxton Shapes Up Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? More than “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly,” which I have never seen. Tonight?

You know me much too well, baby girl. I don’t feel like crying over my boys, Braxton and Virgil. And don’t our two-legged indiscretions have friends? Am I laughing? Exhaustion.

But I won’t go getting “Tired of you.” Obsession? As if you didn’t already know… “You are an obsession, you’re my obsession.” And I’m saying, “Let’s Marvin Gaye and get it on,” love. “Sexual Healing?” After yesterday? I suppose it could be worse. Day Job?

Honestly, I had cuck fantasies that you would not believe. And with my tiredness, love…

But tonight, as James Blunt sings “I Want You.” I thought we were watching a movie. Or am I getting a dirty Spanish lesson? And then there’s my thing for kimonos and Native Americans, “Suddenly.”

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Dirty Spanish Lessons

Mamame el bicho = Suck My dick
Doblate = Bend Over
Chupatelo = Suck It
Trsgatelo = Swallow It
Te lo voy a meter I’m Gonna Stick It In, Inside
Mas duro = Harder
No pareses cono = don’t stop, dammit

Good? I never knew learning Spanish could be so much fun. It wasn’t in high school. And when I met Braxton, I was in college… AHEM junior college. Mexican dogs and Latina chicks, Asians, or Native Americans. And I’m proud to be an American. But I’m not MAGA. FDT! It would be bad if I ever joined them effing Cracker Hats. But what’s really bad. Pretty much everything they do. And another reason why I’m so exhausted. When I’m not thinking about your pretty clothes on the floor, it’s how to buy more. A Man Provides! And I’m trying. Braxton knows I’m trying for you, for his legacy, our two-leggeds, and Virgil. But I’m not going to lie. The finances have me “All Shook Up.”

Free YouTube for all this music or Spotify. Did I say free? That is such an ugly lie, my love. All kinds of UGLY!!! Didn’t the bill just shoot up to $100 for the month? Are they serious? Double the price since we got the service. Mother efferes. Effing economy!

However, there is something even uglier. And I’m just now realizing why I “Need You Tonight.” Because I’m not good for my mental health. Surprise, Surprise! Braxton and our two-leggeds see their Dad. When you see me, I’m all “I’m Too Sexy. Hell, I’d take Virgil’s confused looks. I’m just “Some Guy” like King Ezekiel. And I’m too old to shape up, to be better. But there’s AI. There’s lying. Death? Braxton Shapes Up Virgil.

1843 Days Without B III, Day 1284 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 228 ~80’s A B, Virgil~

An 80 is a B. Cs get degrees. And I was praying for a D on paper when I was done playing with the one in my pants. I have been out of school a long time. But my woman is teaching me about Chinese Myths and Naughty Spanish. Hot? 80’s A B, Virgil.

Saturday, February 14, 2026

Journey 228 ~80’s A B, Virgil~

Hey, Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… Not if I’m not a mediocre white man who dares to call himself the president. Hmm.

Not that I can talk, my dear Lady Lunalesca. I’m the one who’s looking up, do dogs’ tongues burn on ChatGPT? All I know is Braxton stuck his tongue into a cup of hot chocolate and winced. And then he had the nerve to look at me as if I had done something wrong. Well I kil.. had him euthanized several years later. I did. 100% I believe it, Luna.

13 days shy of his 16th birthday. What a lovely way to say I love you. Braxton and I had a good life. “Him and I.” He was my little sister’s dog. And then I go and spoil it all by saying “Something Stupid,” like I love you to him. And then he’s my dog.

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

My son. And how did I honor him yesterday? As a matter of fact, how did I honor his little brother, Virgil? The “Tango Maureen?” The Tango Virgil. Hell! The Tango M Anime for “real…” with no regrets. Have I ever told you how hot M Anime is? I’ve got a thing for Puerto Rican girls now. Well, one particular Puerto Rican woman and one thing. But if tentacle porn ever becomes real… Anyway, what was I saying? I spent most of Braxton’s birthday… Doing things with M Anime, I should be doing today. How much did I spend last Valentine’s Day? Total? Why am I not doing that now? Is this an 80’s hit?

No, it was 1990, “The King of Wishful Thinking,” Lunalesca.

My breakup theme for her in August. Then January rolled around, and it seems (Every Time I Turn Around) Back in Love Again.” M Anime and I aren’t quite there yet. Um, she’s sure she’s in love. But I’m the guy who has been mourning his dead furry kid forever.

Is five years forever? Come talk to me on October 20th, 2026, and if Virgil is still “Safe And Sound.” Suppose everything hasn’t burned thanks to MAGA. I’m quite comfortable at 80 degrees. If I were truly in love with M Anime, I’d be playing 98 Degrees’ “I Will Still Love You.” Suppose I were a better man, Lunalesca. But I’m living on 80 bucks. Not enough for “Love and Happiness.” 80’s A B, Virgil.

1840 Days Without B III, Day 1281 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 225 ~B A Tax V~

Death, Taxes, and Yabbos. Everything else is a roll of the dice. What about my boys? V was cuddling up against me this morning instead of being at the foot of the bed. B is cute, with V… Annoying? I’m not so mean, but the taxman cometh. B A Tax V

Wednesday, February 11, 2026

Journey 225 ~B A Tax V~

Bless Me, Echo,
For I have sinned… What! Telling lies about my sons? Let’s say Braxton had very few friends. And then there’s 2-V, Virgil…

I swear if Braxton’s little brother walked on two legs and spoke a word of Spanish… He is a Chihuahua after all. Anyway, people would think I’m an abusive parent. I’m busy. I can be a bastard. And this week shows you how broke I am. But abusive, MAGA, never.

Is it wrong that I don’t REALLY know who Bad Bunny is? Hell, I still watched the halftime show on Sunday. And I hear it was a million or a 100 million fans better than…

Whatever MAGA did. Eff MAGA, eff the Cracker Hats, and always and forever FDT, E!

Is that how taxes work? How should I know? But did I mention I was broke? And as far as this week, so far, Inspector…

“Pinch me, pinch me
‘Cause I’m still asleep
Please, God, tell me
That I’m still asleep.”
Barenaked Ladies ‧ 2000

Okay, time for some real confessions: Again, I liked Bad Bunny’s show. And allow me to sound like a Cracker Hat for a minute. Ahem! My “girlfriend,” my woman, M Anime, is Boricua. She’s been teaching me some naughty Spanish… But Spanish ads are annoying.

Why, Inspector? I suppose that if I must listen, if people are going to tell me sweet “Little Lies.” Suppose I must know that I’m a loser. Tell me in a language I’ll understand, Inspector.

Speaking of which, I don’t know what Virgil is saying either. I speak fluent Braxton. Inspector, around this time five years ago, I was the one talking to his box on the nightstand. And the only word that came out was-SORRY. I don’t get it.

I don’t get me. But for around $700… Are those slave prices? Trump’s Big Beautiful Bill… Effed me. How dare he or anybody? B III Braxton Barks Bradford. Anyway Inspector.

Seriously, my account is empty, but what about my empathy? Last night, M Anime was telling me about a horrific experience she endured or almost. The fear was very real.

Inspector, Five guys? Not the burger joint, though meat was involved. I’d cut them off…

So while she shared this, what do you think I was thinking? She’s safe and sound. Those S.O.B.’s my sadistic tendencies for all involved, them and her, and then “I Wanna Sex You Up.” Nothing is certain but death, taxes, and my deviance. Which is worse? B A Tax V.

1837 Days Without B III, Day 1278 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will