Tag: Secrets

Meditation 125 ~Virgil Will B VOTING~

WillLeave a comment

Who would I like to follow? If it hadn’t been for Braxton’s favorite girl, my Ma, and a box of barbecue… I’m easy, like Sunday morning. I would have followed my son. No, I’m not dumb enough to vote for Trump. What about Virgil? “Virgil Will B VOTING”

Sunday, November 3, 2024

Meditation 125 ~Virgil Will B VOTING~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And unlike Virgil, you have opposable thumbs, so… What? Is that something positive? If anything, EFFING VOTE!!!

You don’t have to listen to another word today if you JUST remember that, okay?

Braxton is still gone, but you have his memory to consider. And while you’ll spend your time on Massa’s Plantation (if Trump wins). Excuse you! I mean, you’ll be working “The MILL.” Excuse you again! You’ll be masturb… Pleasuring yourself for OnlyFans. I mean, REALLY. You’ll be wasting time blogging. What else would you call it; come Monday morning. You have no idea who you’ll be talking to with Madam J’s rules being done with. Maybe you should talk to her. Who knows, law and order might end on Tuesday.

The point is that on Tuesday, November 5, 2024, you do something worthless as you are. Like, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Stay the Night: A Slice of Life by Dirk Knight
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Completed (Day 008 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Yes, I did Number Four. Answer: How many women have seen your Stuff & Thang, and how much money did I spend for a woman sans clothing in pigtails and another woman with the fattest Yabbos. You’d rather they were Cherry’s, but you know her.

These days you should start saving your money. Is it too late for that? You can’t feel how empty your pockets are if you’re not wearing any pants. But Braxton taught you that the best legs breasts, and thighs are found in a bucket of chicken. Or a box. Isn’t It Ironic? Your poor son.

Braxton ended up in a box because you were a chicken trying to save money. Now, all you want to do is crawl inside with him. But, Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Jack McAfghan: Pawprints from Heaven
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 008, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

But what is possible is that you have to vote. I can’t stress this enough. You even have the day off, so you have plenty of time. And who knows, with people being, well, people…

You might end up joining Braxton sooner. This is the South, which means your vote… It’s a moot point. The state will fall to Trump. But at the very least, you are JUST one man.

One man that will declare with his voice… pick any inspirational speech you like. Vote!

On Tuesday, November 5, 2024, you will vote for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz. Victory!

FOR DEMOCRACY!!! And for Virgil. Though if he could have voted for any owner. Uh.

Yeah… Virgil wouldn’t have chosen you. Virgil Will B VOTING

1372 Days Without B III, Day 813 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 124 ~Be Characteristically Braxton, Virgil~

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What do I want to be when I grow up? My son. My Braxton. We don’t want to tell kids to be like Trump or MAGA. Uh, I’m 40 and possibly looking at the end of freedom if Kamala doesn’t win. And I’m worried about me. Be Characteristically Braxton, Virgil

Saturday, November 2, 2024

Meditation 124 ~Be Characteristically Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… But Trump doesn’t use such big words… Why should I? Yes, Lunalesca, I may get political.

But let’s focus on me for now. And why am I so late? Bad dreams. But I can’t remember any of them. Another reason I’m late. It was either watching all the Yabbos bouncing in my face or reading about them… Sasha, Jessica, Lexi… “Some Guys Have All the Luck.”

Only not my boys, Braxton and Virgil. Yesterday, as I was trying not to starve, I thought to myself. If only I could have my Braxton’s courage. And what about Virgil? If only I didn’t have his damage. Things I don’t know about him. What does he fear about me?

Being left out? As in banned from the bedroom. Virgil didn’t use the training paper. Here’s a thought. Buy him his own training pad. Hmm.

I don’t want him on Braxton’s bed—ever! But sure, use B’s bowls, big pillows, and bathroom space. And speaking of marking territory and making a mess, there’s Election Day.

Lunalesca, I will be playing the part of a “Law Abiding Citizen.” How do THEY say, “I’m just a regular, everyday normal mother effer.” Lunalesca, “What Makes A Good Man?”

This leads me to today. I know plenty of bad men or rather people. “I am an equal opportunity misanthropist.” And while I consider myself better than MAGA, My Lady…

Braxton, my son, is a far better man than me. If I could be half the man he was, I would consider myself truly blessed.

But I find myself existing as he did in those final days. It’s like living ‘Livin’ On A Prayer ‘, constantly on the edge of losing everything. Haven’t I? REALLY!

And how many songs am I going to rip off? I finished reading earlier. And looking up Asuka Langley Soryu is not productive. Anything to avoid looking into a mirror.

Lunalesca, how can I be bothered to save the world when I couldn’t save Braxton, who was my whole world? And I keep coming back to this simple truth. Virgil is here. I mean, couldn’t they be bothered to vet me? Fifteen years is a long life. Only yesterday afternoon…

Then you wonder why I don’t value my existence. All I want is to have a family someday. Lunalesca, we would be far from “UNEXPECTED GOATS.” But today, I’m like Winston Smith from 1984 (last man), with some Far Cry 5’s Faith. But someday, I hope to be like Braxton. And show Virgil a better man. To one day have a family that reflects their characters. Be Characteristically Braxton, Virgil

1371 Days Without B III, Day 812 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 120 ~They’ll B Time Virgil~

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Everything can wait. But love can’t tell time. How long was I sitting on the bench waiting for the news that my son was dying? How long was I at the altar waiting to leave my father and mother and be joined with a wife? I’m 40. They’ll B Time Virgil.

Tuesday, October 29, 2024

Meditation 120 ~They’ll B Time Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Not enough to forget Braxton. You’d never ask that. But enough to love myself. Hehe

What a way to start the day, huh? Honestly, the day should have started at 4:00 AM this Friday, October 25, 2024. 3:00 AM? I can only be me, not Eric Thomas, my love. And when did I last listen to one of his motivational speeches? Or hear the voice, the bark of my Braxton.

All I hear these days is the ticking of the clock and my grumbling. Moaning…

Honestly, I wish they were yours. Must everything be “stuff & thangs?” My raison d’être.

For the longest time, I felt that was to be B’s Dad. To have a family. He will always be. Only there’s you, our children. Hopefully, my Ma. What about Virgil and my sister, too?

Not that I make time.

That’s what’s bothering me today… More than my B III being gone? More than my next breath? More than my birth… Emergence Day? And how about the next pair of breas… um, Yabbos that wants a job. There’s never enough time for pain, pleasure, personhood…

And why am I so pressed for time? Nowadays, I could say politics. Constitution, Freedom. And all of the buzzwords that are being thrown. But there’s always time to say that I love you. And it could be another lesson from Braxton. If I gave him all my love, what was left for me? Or did he know I had love to share, and now that he’s gone, I can and should? Even at forty…

Is there time for me to learn how to love? I don’t write love stories. But writing is my first love. Or so it was. Now, when I look at my schedule. It could be even worse. If you knew what my old Day Job calendar looked like. The way I would get sick. In Hell, my love, there’s enough time for weeping and gnashing of teeth. So, is that why I’m still alive? Nope

I tell myself it’s to keep Braxton alive. I would do anything for him. And that’s why I stay so busy. Or I’m sleeping. But haven’t I been taking energy shots lately? Or rising for…

Jewel Staite

More Yabbos or anything close. Love, let’s be in our bunk. And afterward, with this existence. They’ll B Time Virgil.

1367 Days Without B III, Day 808 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 118 ~Virgil’s Conceptualizations Of Braxton~

WillLeave a comment

How does 2-V feel about being four? A little bit better than I do about being forty. Both of us have concepts of what being should mean. I should have Braxton. V should have some nuclear family unit. Instead… Virgil’s Conceptualizations Of Braxton.

Sunday, October 27, 2024

Meditation 118 ~Virgil’s Conceptualizations Of Braxton~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… Huh? So you don’t have to go with The Substance next month. You’re not a smart man.

But you could be one for Halloween. That’s what we do here. I will TRY to give you the ADVICE to change what you see every week. More like how not to hate yourself. But the man that your Dear Future Wife sees? How you say, “Just Me, Baby B,” like he wants to hear from the “man” who put him in a box three years ago. His Dad? Hearing from yours terrifies you. (Shudders).

However, it’s the “Time of the Season.” And what will you do besides reading “Stay the Night: A Slice of Life Contemporary Harem (Harem University Book 2)” Again, you’re not so bright. You first bought “Pawprints from Heaven.” But that’s not out until Halloween. Pet Loss? Scary! Meanwhile, you’ll be here failing Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 14: A Reverse Portal Fantasy by Logan Jacobs
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

If you were going to have new ones, how about not wasting money because you didn’t read the fine print. Another would be to keep your DARN word when posting book reviews, bad critiques, and even pictures of your blue balls. Been to OnlyFans lately? And for what? That’s another thing. You could make more bucks if you could stay awake. If you stayed out of bed most of the day. How about buying books where women keep their clothes on? “Sans clothing,” do you remember that? Some books teach dogs to run along the ground rather than be buried beneath it. Well, that was quite the monologue. You think…

More like a rant… And you’re not hopped up on candy. But Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Stay the Night: A Slice of Life by Dirk Knight
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Simple things. There’s watching a movie. Last night, it was 2007’s REC. But you like 2008’s Quarantine better. Once again, people would not call you an effing genius. This week.

And that is the question. What are you going to do this week? Conceptualizing existence?

Would you stop using that word? Cherry is the naughty English teacher/librarian. Her Yabbos? Jennifer Carpenter’s or Manuela Velasco’s? And that right there’s the concept.

Your son Braxton is the best man you’ve ever known, but he was simply an extension of yourself. His father’s son. Living and existing are synonyms, but one’s better… Maybe?

The Day Job vs Work. But neither is your raison d’etre. Something to think about this week. Your plans? Humiliations Galore. Virgil’s Conceptualizations Of Braxton.

1365 Days Without B III, Day 806 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 117 ~Braxton, Virgil, Damn Unpretties~

WillLeave a comment

My B only knew “pretty, pretty girls” who weren’t evil. V had a year and a half without me. He cries, “Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen.” Yes, women bring trouble. Politically, pre/post-Halloween, porn… “Braxton, Virgil, Damn Unpretties.”

Saturday, October 26, 2024

Meditation 117 ~Braxton, Virgil, Damn Unpretties~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now, meaning I can afford a decent cable or satellite package. And there’s time to watch anything.

If I wasn’t too busy crying over Braxton. For your information, I wasn’t. And Virgil woke me up earlier than usual. Hell! He even watched me play a few rounds of TWD before his nap. So why are we talking at 8:40 AM? Because I was looking up Monster Girls. Lady Lunalesca, it’s the “Time of the Season.” Everybody know I’m a mother effin’ monster.

Yeah, when I’m busy moaning over Piper (Viper) Niven. With some Cherry mixed in. Lu? I have a thing for some BBWs. Girls other say they’re what? Unattractive and unpretty. And for those from Gilead, “Unwomen.” We’ll get to that, Lunalesca. If Braxton hadn’t already broken my heart with his passing, I’d say a few of these “broads” broke it.

Now, before I was breaking any vow of abstinence… chastity… self-fulfillment over a pro-wrestler… which I still miss, you know. I finished reading Backyard Dungeon 14: A Reverse Portal Fantasy. The protagonist, Eddie, added a human to his harem’s roster.

Lunalesca. So far, he has a (takes a breath) Elf, Half-Demon, Elf, Orc, Goblin, Spiran, Succubus, and Dryad. But human women are something else entirely. I should say all humans. A reason I need stress release with the state of the country. The whole world.

And dare I say one more reason, I never found Braxton a Mom. And as far as Virgil is concerned? Sigh. I’m still looking for the son I lost. And Virgil could use a Daddy.

Unfortunately, where have I been? (Takes another big breath). Exhales:

  1. Siren
  2. Shiva
  3. Sorceress Edea
  4. Sorceress Ultimecia
  5. Princess Ruto
  6. Dimitrescu Sisters: Bela, Cassandra, and Daniela
  7. Countess Alcina Dimtrescu
  8. Maria, Silent Hill 2
  9. Bubble Head Nurses
  10. Cecily Moore
  11. Lilith
  12. Cosplayers

Monsters, Creatures, the possessed, what have you. And that’s off the top of my head. But Lunalesca. More than Halloween. At the Day Job, they already have me working Christmas shenanigans. It’s people. The visual department lady supports Elon Musk!

Jessica Rey? You know I loved her as Alyssa Enrilé in Power Rangers Wild Force. She’s a Trump supporter! Eww! And there are a few MAGA women… (Cue Homer Drool).

Lunalesca, I’m a monster with such handsome sons. In this world, Braxton, Virgil, Damn Unpretties.

1364 Days Without B III, Day 805 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 113 ~Air Braxton’s For Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

So, not a dime left for 2-V’s day? I got a bag of food. V only drinks bottled water. I’ve never given him a slice of hot dog or cheese. What took my B… Virgil could use a nail trim. Would that be a treat? Two days ago, maybe. Air Braxton’s For Virgil

Tuesday, October 22, 2024

Meditation 113 ~Air Braxton’s For Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? My love for you is boundless, and I want you to remember that. I cherish every moment we share, and I hope you never tire of hearing me say it. Is this what they call words of Affirmation, baby girl.

Unfortunately, my love language isn’t receiving or giving gifts. And it isn’t Quality time with us speaking so early. Today is Friday, October 18, 2024. I wish I could go back to… What? Sunday, January 31, 2021. The day I lost my firstborn son Braxton.

Honestly, my love, I’m thinking about Tuesday, October 20, 2020. The day V was born.

And me being the selfish pri… person I am. I continue to imagine Emergence Day. Everything that I bought for myself. Well, other than food-related. Air, space, and being alone.

If only my Old Man had left my mother alone. “I don’t wanna die. I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all.” That’s the God-honest truth, my love. Wow, Michael Jackson and Queen. Hmm.

Michael Jackson would be great for a party… two days ago. Virgil’s birthday is Sunday, October 20, 2024. What am I getting him? Can you imagine what I’d buy you? Or how about any of our kids that walk on two legs? Or crawling. “Feel like makin’ love to you.”

I told Lady Sophia how I was reading about the Graham family in Everything Dies: Season One. Vincent, his wife Kristin, and their daughter Emily. I was going to say I can’t imagine the heartache, but I had to watch my son Braxton breathe his last breath. And when’s the last time I’ve taken a breath that wasn’t for or about my little boy Braxton.

But there’s another little guy out there. My little Virgil.

And I ain’t doing a DARN thing for him. He’s turning four. Giving him air and space isn’t helping. What? I was gone less than an hour to pick up sour cream, BBQ, and a burger. So um… I kicked him out of the bedroom for making a mess on the floor. And he’s been pacing around ever since, waiting for me to forgive him. An Act of Service. Hmm. He’s been extra cuddly lately, and it’s been cold, but by the click-clack on the floor, he could use a groomer’s nail trim. What about buying a new bathroom space so the floors stay clean.

Anything that didn’t belong to my Braxton. Like my heart? We’re Between the Sheets. But Virgil… Air Braxton’s For Virgil

1360 Days Without B III, Day 801 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 111 ~Braxton And Virgil, Positive~

WillLeave a comment

Happy Birthday Vigil. Level 4. 799 Days spent with me. May God have mercy on your soul… Anyway. Are there no presents? A freshly cut lawn and two full bowls of food and water. I ate the last of the Emergence Day cake. But Braxton And Virgil, Positive

Sunday, October 20, 2024

Meditation 111 ~Braxton And Virgil, Positive~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And before you forget, it’s not just any day. It’s Virgil’s birthday. A day that holds so much meaning and joy. (Laughs). So, can you try to be positive for his sake?

And to think you were sitting here wondering how to be positive for your own. Well, that ended as soon as you committed to getting up. And you’re still late getting started for today. And you have tears in your eyes. “Bright Light, Bright Light!” Who are you… Gizmo? Sigh. It could be from a lack of sleep or my actions last night. Mamimi Samejima…

There were “headlights” until 11:00 PM. And what time did you wake up this morning?

The very fact that you had to wake up at all is a cause for tears. Every week, I swear.

Braxton, though… Not one tear for him? Again, isn’t this Virgil’s day. Be proud, papa. Virgil’s made it to Level Four. Your Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Everything Dies: Season One
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 002 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

One? Yeah, you’re still at one. But you have to keep reminding yourself about the one son you have left. 799 Days… That’s about two years and two months. When did Braxton become your son? It was the day the Olds got the new house, and you said, “Braxton, get in the car.” He’s been your Cerberus ever since. But even before then, you had a very positive vibe about him. Hell, Braxton was a Dire Wolf defending you from the Old Man as you spilled your B-positive blood all over or whatever your blood type is. Ask a Doc.

But once again, today is Virgil’s day. Do you remember what you did on his second or third birthday?Did you fail Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Backyard Dungeon 14: A Reverse Portal Fantasy by Logan Jacobs
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 002, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Or, more to the point, will you fail this week? Be grateful you still have a chance. But you’re not so positive you will. Virgil is much the same. He’s thankful to have his bed, a blanket, a chair, a loveseat, your bed, and comfy spots galore. But is he positive that you are the best thing he has going for him? Very doubtful. Hmm. I did clean up the yard. That was me, not you. I ate the last of the Emergence Day cake. I wondered why I suddenly had a craving last night.

However, Virgil has you now. What are you going to do? Sleep? Keep starting at Yuffie Kisaragi, all skeevy-like? Sing Happy Birthday before the annual birthday picture with Virgil. Uh, smile… Braxton And Virgil, Positive

1358 Days Without B III, Day 799 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 110 ~Preparations For Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

On Oct 19, 2019, I was in a hotel room in Rockford, Illinois, preparing to attend a wedding. It was the longest B, and I had been apart since fighting with the Old Man. And love is a long, long road. Be prepared, huh? Preparations For Braxton, Virgil

Saturday, October 19, 2024

Meditation 110 ~Preparations For Braxton, Virgil~

Hey Lady Lu,
I am a Billionaire right now… This means I have a bunker somewhere. A few “pew, pews.” A pretty girl for loneliness…

Eww! Can I stop being gross, just for one day? Can I stop missing my Braxton? How about no, Lady Lunalesca. How about putting Virgil first? Tomorrow is his birthday.

Preparations? If Braxton, my firstborn son, and Virgil, my second son, have anything in common, sigh. I wasn’t ready to find either one of my boys. Braxton showed up in my Old Man’s hands one night. And Virgil showed that he could use a training pad. A testament to my laziness. And I wasn’t ready to lose my little B. But despite me being a meanie, I’ve been panicked every now and again over Virgil.

But again, what will I be doing for Virgil’s birthday? Lunalesca, last night was bad. Honestly, I can’t even remember it. Mad at the BBBQ. Sad for myself. And bad. I could really use your support right now, Lady Lu.

Be Prepared. Isn’t that what THEY say? That’s why the bed makes the perfect spot, my lady. “If I lay here. If I just lay here.” I could’ve saved Braxton. And what about saving “my” country. MAGA might take Virgil because… “First let me explain that I’m just a black man.” Was that supposed to be funny, Lunalesca? Today’s politics… It’s why I stick to fiction. I’m still not over Everything Dies: Season One. And then there was a movie.

The Substance… Well, I saw it. And I want it… And speaking of want. Again, there’s Little Virgil, who wants a better Dad. I wasn’t prepared for my two boys, but Braxton got a Dad, and Virgil got a father. Guardians of the Galaxy, much. I feel like I’m failing as a man, Lady Lu.

And that is something I’m never prepared for, like an effing zombie virus. It’s inevitable.

My… Passion! Though I haven’t really thought about Zoe Saldana since The Losers. And I’ve seen Pom Klementieff’s Yabbos because the algorithm knows me too well. But who’s Yabbos was I staring at today as I fought to rise to this seated position, Lady Lunalesca?

Of course, there was Cherry’s. There’s a nurse from Silent Hill. Oh, B’s honorary aunt.

Not her Yabbos! I’ve seen them. I just remembered her wedding to her former hubby.

The preparations it took to get to her wedding day and, according to her, “ain’t nobody humpin’ around” back then. I haven’t been humpin’ around in years. And loving anyone? Myself? Preparations For Braxton, Virgil

1357 Days Without B III, Day 798 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 106 ~Braxton and Virgil… Oafs~

WillLeave a comment

I’ve knelt to both my sons. I’ve imagined I would kneel before some woman. Take an arrow to the knee? Hell! It’s a fight to get out of bed. And had I but the courage, I would never rise. But I stand and fall for my boys. Braxton and Virgil… Oafs

Tuesday, October 15, 2024

Meditation 106 ~Braxton and Virgil… Oafs~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Is it a love that surpasses even the bond with my firstborn son, Braxton? Well… I’ve never made a solemn promise before God, but my love for you is unwavering.

Ask me when I last spoke to the divine. I’ve pleaded for the life of my son, and I’ve begged to join him when I was at death’s door. I’m not sure if I’m conversing with a deity, a spirit, or something else, but I do so every day ask…

Darling, I’m sorry to say this, but I ask the “Spirit In the Sky” for the courage to find B. If you know what I mean. And I’ve asked God how I was fortunate enough to see you. It was as if I stumbled and fell into your love, and I’m eternally grateful for it.

Or how do they say, “I Took an Arrow in the Knee? I’m a lover, not a fighter… I wish. These days, my Love … damn near every day, I feel like a warrior. To have their discipline, determination, and death. I want to fall.

Death Wish? More like dedication. I ask you… hell, I scream out to you, “Don’t Give Up On Me.” “Have a Little Faith in Me.” More music? To cover up my mourning, moaning, or whatever it is I’m doing. I fear that Living will become one of those haunting words.

Words like Happiness, Home, or Hilarious/Laughter. Something that means nothing. From a linguistic point of view. I know the words exist, but what do I think about when they are spoken? I feel exactly what I felt that led to Braxton’s passing. Indifference, My Love.

And with all the time I had last week… women sans clothing. Such is my awesome business, both a blessing and a curse. I’ve been looking to… be better. I don’t know. Can I be?

I don’t know what got me to kneel before Braxton that first time and say, “Whatever happens, stay with me. I’ll look after you.” Eowyn’s words. A woman’s words. Sexist…


Honestly, My Love, I was about to be. Do forgive me. I should say that I’ve been looking for the words from the brave, of champions, even devils, if need be. Even the simplest, ok.

Like Warhammer 40,000 Space Marine II… “For The Emperor!” Something to have me kneel and then stand if but to show you “I can be the man you need me to be.” But if I can’t even honor my Braxton. Or look after Virgil. I trip over myself. Falling. Crashing.

My boys keep their oaths; Love. Braxton and Virgil… Oafs.

1353 Days Without B III, Day 794 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 104 ~That’s Braxton Line, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Whose Line Is It Anyway? I would be better off holding the line between my lips. Or the $300.00 worth of lines I wasted with “Outskirts Press.” Should I go all Wild ‘n Out and such? Every day, I live a LINE and cross one. That’s Braxton Line, Virgil.

Sunday, October 13, 2024

Meditation 104 ~That’s Braxton Line, Virgil~

To Will:
It’s the Man In The Mirror… And the only thing that separates us is today and yesterday. You were STUPID versus… are STUPID.

Oh, what a way to start a Sunday? Huh, with a STUPID line. But you can do so much worse.

Braxton is gone. And the world is a STUPIDER place without him. However, there’s you.

Yesterday, I told Lady Lunalesca I shouldn’t eat sour and sweet… More like spicy and sour foods before bed. I should also add this. Don’t read about zombies, either. Only it wasn’t the monsters that disturbed me. And you seemed okay, too… Edging after midnight.

‘You Are a Sad, Strange Little Man.” Or you will be. It’s only been six hours. But what about being a good one? What about B III? How about 2-V? They’re only a breath away.

A line on a sheet of paper. Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Taking Kelsey by Kelli Wolfe
    Completed
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
    Failed
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
    Failed
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 003, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
    Failed (Day 001 No Fap)
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
    Failed
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am
    Failed

Now, I could talk about how I stumbled last week, and how you might this week. Where’s your faith? It’s easy to feel like it left with Braxton, and you’re realizing that no one is listening to your prayers. It’s been six hours, and you’ve already stumbled on number six. You would have stumbled on number four if Virgil had not made his appearance. Number three is a tough one.

Instead, let’s talk about the boundaries that were crossed last night and are still bothering you. I know you were admiring some businesswoman’s “assets,” but you’re not that kind of person. That’s funny. You have more respect than that… Sigh.

Anyway, I was reading Everything Dies: Season One, and with what Adam tried to do to that little girl, Emily… And what Harley tried to do to Emily’s mother, Kristin. These lines… Six Impossible Things:

  1. I WILL BE VIEWING Everything Dies: Season One
  2. I WILL BE VETTING Pictures, My Braxton’s Life Story
  3. I WILL BE VENDING Gulp: Poetry Book
  4. I WILL BE VOWING To Keep Pants On (Day 001, No Fap). Real Girls Are An Exception
  5. I WILL BE VALUING My Flesh Getting A Tattoo Of My Son Little B III
  6. I WILL BE VALIANT Being The Man My Son Thinks I Am

Failing these things… which you will, is one thing. But what some men will do. The disgusting, depraved degenerates. You’re a bad man, but nothing on such a level (shudders).

We’re talking a few pages in a book full of zombies. While you’re writing “Sofía’s Nightmare,” that would get you banned quicker than P$rnHub. There are certain lines you don’t cross. And when they are… Well, you wonder why you rise every day, old man.

Throw The Covers, and there you go, crossing a line. Leaving this bedroom is another. Every door opened. The food from packages eaten. Seven out of the ten things in the search bar. Your stories and these words. Lines you shouldn’t cross. Why? Because FORTY sucks! That’s Braxton Line, Virgil

1351 Days Without B III, Day 792 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will