Tag: Story

Meditation 141 ~Virgil, We’ll B Leaving~

WillLeave a comment

There’s “Stuff & Thangs” I find. Fantasies, Actress names, reasons to cry, complain, or lose cash. But 400 words daily, 146,000 yearly, with 1,168,000 in 8 years. Was one Emergency, Escape, Exit, or Love? “Trump is coming…” “Virgil, We’ll B Leaving.”

Tuesday, November 19, 2024

Meditation 141 ~Virgil, We’ll B Leaving~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? My love for you is deep and unwavering. But the thought of leaving, the uncertainty, and the changes we may face, it’s a lot to bear. And the color blue is a reminder of my…

Balls? Bollocks? I should work on my UK English, considering that with each passing day, the defeat, the ending, and the finale of this grand experiment known as the United States of America draws nigh. For the record, today is Sunday, November 10, 2024. Am I still getting ready for the workday? I should be preparing to move us, love.

When the state of our country does not consume me, I find myself still mourning for my lost boy, Braxton. He was my firstborn, my strength during the first Trump Presidency. Virgil, “our” son, doesn’t have that same resilience. But as a father, I have to protect my family, not vice versa. This truth weighs heavily on me as I prepare for these uncertain times. Every single day… The sickness…

You want sickness. You haven’t even gotten to Tuesday, November 12, 2024, when I showed TeamSkeet Bipartisan B****e starring Melody Parker. That was the tip of the iceberg… My mind…

Businesswise, I’ve gone from what I spoke of last week… Dollification, Tentacles, Netorare/NTR, Voyeurism. There’s been the Midnight Sleazy Train Series. Characters such as Asuka Langley Soryu, Jessie Rasberry, and Jessie from TR. Yuffie Kisaragi has made an appearance. I just saw “Karen” again today, which is vintage anime. Keraku-no-Oh – King of Pleasure. And all that so I can finish my novel for NaNoWriMo. And even with all our money, we need even more. You know the man you married, my love. I mean…

Yasmina Khan and Jewel Staite are on the “reality” side. Even Cherry’s massive melons. Woo!

I say all of this, and why, my love? Because even with who I am and what I do, I respect women. Your body, your choice. But have you heard them since the election? Madness.

It’s madness that a black person’s life can be snuffed out. Speaking of the wrongness…

Land of the free, home of the brave indeed. “A city of justice, a city of love, a city of peace For every one of us,” as the song goes. What about a nation? Somewhere…

“We Gotta Get Out Of This Place.” I have more faith in my furry son’s spirit and/or energy. And the love you and I have, rather than the power that will descend January. Should we go? Virgil, We’ll B Leaving

1388 Days Without B III, Day 829 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 137 ~Braxton’s Free Stories Virgil~

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I’m not reading any more stories about what will be done to this country. I’m a black man with zero two-legged kids and two four-legged ones. One is a “ghost” whose story I haven’t published yet. My own or Braxton’s Free Stories Virgil

Friday, November 15, 2024

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Well, yes and no. There’ll be no book reviews today. And Braxton speaks on Monday. Today…

Well, it would be “inappropriate” to tell someone you love that you’re reading another book to get over them. Or I will be for the end of November. How many books on pet loss have I read this year? Counting the last one that I bought, it would be seven. The year before, I read fourteen. And in 2022, I read forty… Forty-one if you count The Christmas Rescue. Do you remember anything about that one? Something other than relations?

Is it healing, closure, or ACCEPTANCE? The thought of the latter sends shivers down my spine, My Lady. But even that is preferable to the relentless onslaught of bad news that seems to be the only constant in this world. So why do I keep seeking out this bleakness? Hmm.

Lady Sophia, I’m not talking about the things I must “live” through. I swear, I wake up every morning looking for a grave. All I need to do is turn on the lamp. Oh! There’s Braxton in his box. But where is Braxton’s story again? There’s always editing, My Lady.

There’s always something else. Decisions that have to be made… Or not. I’ve been thinking about next month since I’ve decided what to read to close the month. But December…

It has been my TRADITION to focus on Christmas “Romances” throughout the closing of the year. But still, I can’t shake the feeling that I should do something to prepare for the apocalypse inbound. Oh, like buying food? Please! I couldn’t get it up to go shopping today, Lady Sophia. I meant as in books. I’ve read the classics like 1984, The Handmaid’s Tale, Brave New World, etc. So that’s the choice. Do I read about making Christmas babies in a world ceasing to exist? Or do I study and prepare to witness its aftermath?

Again, I couldn’t go shopping today. So, I should work on the novel I’m writing. At the moment, it’s… Nightmare At The Meat Market (Working Title). Eww, right? Why is that, you ask. Put the words “Glory” and “Hole” together. Or look up that scene between Yukiko Minase and her professor in Bible Black Only. That’s this morning. I would have to send Braxton out of the room for these movies and stories. What about Virgil. Uh, where’s my kid?

Excuse me, I’ve been working. I’ve “written” about nine chapters get these titles, my Lady:

Chapter 1: A Sneak Peek… Piece… Peace (Antonio)
Chapter 2: Taking The Red Light Special (Cherry)
Chapter 3: The Meat Market: Take One (Sofía)
Chapter 4: How To Make A Sale? (William)
Chapter 5: The Art Of Selling Door-to-Door (Cherry)
Chapter 6: The Job Market: Take Two (Sofía)
Chapter 7: Life Of A Delivery Boy (William)
Chapter 8: Ravishing… No Refunds Or Returns (Antonio)
Chapter 9: Balls To Change The Schedule (Sofía)
To Be Continued

Do you see what I mean, Lady Sophia? When I’m in the zone, the ideas flow like a river, carrying with them the mistakes, the madness, and the entire manuscript. It’s a whirlwind of creativity, and yet, it often feels like I’ve accomplished nothing at all. But I keep at it, because that’s what existence is, isn’t it? Alternative Facts.

Isn’t that just the American way? And yet, I can’t shake off the feeling of impending doom for this country. While THEY continue to be paid, I’ve wasted most of this morning, My Lady. AGAIN!

You’re my friend, my fan, and now my fictional editor… I don’t tell fairytales; I read and write, and for what? Braxton’s Free Stories Virgil

1384 Days Without B III, Day 825 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 136 ~A B Paper Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

You know why I don’t feel better about my writing. It’s because I refuse to watch the news these days and see the horrible things they’re posting, printing, and prattling about. I’m Shakespeare by comparison. But this will only be “A B Paper Virgil.”

Thursday, November 14, 2024

Meditation 136 ~A B Paper Virgil~

1383 Days Without B III, Day 824 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I’ve wasted 40 minutes of mine, at least… Don’t worry, it’s all been sleeping, Braxton.

So what, I’ve traded one vice for another? Considering I put you to sleep… (Gasps)!

Braxton, must I bring that up every day? I still have the paperwork in the Den. Your freedom papers, in a way. But I won’t talk about freedom for much longer anyway with who will be in charge come January. If only we knew how good we had it back then, B. Well, you did. Dogs always know. And even in the end, you begged me to save my paper.

Braxton, you just wanted to come “home.” And when will I tell that story? Madness. Braxton, I didn’t understand my writing, which made me part of the resistance. Well now. The rebellion. Dare I say, righteous? As the world ends…

Not that I can be or write something so profound as “The Man Who Watched the World End” by Chris Dietzel. When did we become a book club again? Anything that keeps me from the news these days. So it’s like old times except this is more than the Day Job. The things I would do… The paper, as in cash, money, I needed to keep you fed. And happy…

Writing? I need to be doing a lot more of that. And yesterday was the first semi-decent day. Braxton, I’ve seen better on your training pads. And what about Virgil. He’s living the high life. He is on the bed, and I haven’t had to kick him out. You know I need private time, sigh…

Speaking of which. And I shouldn’t be telling you this. But I’m always one for coincidences, B. I was looking up a girl for the novel I’m writing… Where have you heard that before? Hmm. Anyway so she was in “Himawari Wa Yoru Ni Saku.” The source said that the movie was released in January of 2021. I swear that month wasn’t good, Baby B.

The month you passed and all. But to think that I would be writing about that girl, you, and looking up what happened on the very day you left? If I had been so studious.

Colleges don’t take my type of writing kindly. Which is weird with what I’m writing now. Everything? Notes to you, Braxton… A B Paper Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 134 ~It’ll B Over Soon~

WillLeave a comment

Wife, girlfriend? I wanted Braxton to have a stepmom at some point. But he has a few “hot honorary aunts.” But what will become of them? What will become of America after she has been made into a… After this violation. I’m afraid “It’ll B Over Soon.”


Tuesday, November 12, 2024

Meditation 134 ~It’ll B Over Soon~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Can I still feel that? I love you, our children, my firstborn, Ma, Braxton’s aunts.

Virgil Vivi… And surprisingly, I can keep going. My businesses… Hell! My existence is love.

I didn’t just say that out loud? Speaking of things, I never thought I would speak. Trump will be the next president. Still, that’s according to the snippets I’ve gotten. I’ve turned on the TV once today. Wednesday, November 6, 2024. And I turned it right back off. I’ve tried to avoid Facebook, Instagram, X/Twitter except for “The Bare Necessities.” And YouTube is a no-go. I swear the words, “Trump Wins.” I’ve been sick to my stomach all day. And as I told Inspector Echo, it is reminiscent of the day I lost Braxton. Sickening.

I can’t help but draw a parallel between my Braxton’s passing and Trump’s victory. It’s a comparison that leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. It’s like comparing my deepest sorrow to something so distasteful, like my kinks and fetishes.

My beautiful wife, in these times of uncertainty, I find myself longing for your presence, your touch, your understanding. What can a man do in such times? Stand, Speak, Save. But most importantly, love. Somehow

Somehow… Just Survive Somehow, like The Walking Dead. That’s how I feel right now, my love. I’m sapped of everything. So what have I been doing since? Everything is 1984, The Handmaid’s Tale, Fahrenheit 451, Brave New World, and the list goes on, baby doll.

Funny, I call you that. When Braxton passed away… Oh, finally, some tears for Braxton.

Anyway, when he took his trip to The Rainbow Bridge, the world kept turning, love. There was still everything for everyone, but I was alone. And since 4:30 this morning…

Nothingness. I am a man.

A man with nothing to do and nowhere to go. I better use our money to get us out of the country. Yeah! Every penny is precious now. Every democratic politico. And every perversion… My desire for you, the young man I was in 2021, and for Yabbos, my love.

Dollification, Tentacles, Netorare/NTR, Voyeurism. Again, just to name a few things I’ve been researching today. And why baby doll…? Tony Montana was elegant in saying:

“This is paradise, I’m tellin’ ya. This town like a great big py just waiting to get f*d.” (Tony Montana)

That’s how I feel about America this second. And I don’t like it. I really don’t. Nope, not one little bit. The woman’s bored; I’m bored, or worse… A video when I pity the woman. America, my love. We’ll need each other to survive this… Violation. It’ll B Over Soon

“She’s the girl that guys marry, and I’m the girl that guys f***!” (Kill Theory)

1381 Days Without B III, Day 822 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 130 ~B’s Stories Or Virgil’s~

WillLeave a comment

If I could tell you a story about “Kamala Harris’s Win,” I could have given you a book review of a guy “having fun” in college. But it is the real world, reality; my stomach hurts, and I don’t want any stories. What about B’s Stories Or Virgil’s

Friday, November 8, 2024

Meditation 130 ~B’s Stories Or Virgil’s~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… What? No book review? Every day, existence doesn’t end. And who will tell “my” story? Why?

When I’m in no mood to write one. That’s another reason I won’t do a book review right now. I mean, what story would you like to hear, my lady? The stories out these days…

There are stories of victory. But not Kamala’s. I’ve been thinking about what THEY call “The Hero’s Journey.” Kamala Harris had all the elements of that. And as I often sing, “First, let me explain that I’m just a black man.” And I have a black Ma. So Lady Sophia:

“Because you’re (his) mother. Mother is God in the eyes of a child” Silent Hill.

It’s not hard to believe that a black woman would save us. But it’s not her fault now, is it? I keep comparing this election to the loss of my son. It’s a sick world; I signed paperwork, and then…

Love dies? And I mean all of it. You know I love Braxton more than I love myself. I haven’t told Virgil that I love him. I swear he and I have more of a Ben-Hur vibe, and that’s sad.

“We keep you alive to serve this ship. Row well and live.”

“Your eyes are full of hate, forty-one. That’s good. Hate keeps a man alive. It gives him strength.”

Will I make it to forty-one? Again, being a black man under a Trump Presidency, my odds are definitely diminishing. If my depression doesn’t get to me first. And what about the ladies, which I want to talk about. I could look up Stormy Daniels right now, my lady, Ha!

But there’s no physical reaction even though I like her. It’s these others: Jessica Rey, Kristen StephensonPino, Arianny Celeste, and the list goes on. Not trying to be a “Creep.”

Just, with what I’ve seen…

The truth? A woman can have a beautiful body but an ugly soul. Anybody that supports Donald Trump… But it’s not like I “Canceled” these women. When Virgil gets in trouble, I block “my” bedroom. He can still run the hallway into Braxton’s room if he wants. I’m not a monster. At least not in this place, my lady. Uh, Welcome to the Real World?

But in such things as “Sofía’s Nightmare?” I say some pretty horrible things about people, my lady. I have no problem writing about women, especially, but I’m not trying to be president. Not a king or a dictator. I just want to tell stories and let this place…. Reality, Sophia… Be a better world. I miss B’s Stories Or Virgil’s

1377 Days Without B III, Day 818 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 129 ~An Enormous Blank, B~

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I bet people are still drawing a blank on who won the presidency. Please be Kamala! PLEASE BE KAMALA! But here I am, talking to the ghost of my best friend. Or a harem girl. The Man In The Mirror. A future wife. But next Monday… An Enormous Blank, B.

Thursday, November 7, 2024

Meditation 129 ~An Enormous Blank, B~

1376 Days Without B III, Day 817 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Seeing how we’re talking from days away. You know how today turned out. Bad? Whatever.

At least I don’t have to tell you I don’t want to talk about it. I’d just flop down, Braxton.

A “Blank Space” Baby B. Am I thinking about Taylor Swift right now? REALLY? NOPE!

I wish all of my humiliations, hedonistic tendencies, and hunger were all blanks. What am I talking about? What will I be doing for dinner tonight? By the time you see this… I should have a little cash to eat. But that’s not the only reason my stomach’s in knots.

It’s election Day, the better of the E-Days. Do we have a new president yet? I’m rooting for Kamala Harris, you know, B. “First, let me explain that I’m just a black man.” This world is tough enough without you.

And we were always prepping for when the dead walked the Earth. If MAGA won… What would the world be, B? Talk about emptiness, the Endless void, simply the end.

Something so Enormous… I know Braxton, positive vibes. I’m not one for prayer. I hope.

But what do you hope for Braxton? Have I decided to let you speak on Monday? I don’t know. At this moment, I’m still drawing a blank on what I will do. No Rules! Run!

MAGA has a ton for me but not for themselves. And again, I’m not the most “Law Abiding Citizen.” If it isn’t the government or TRYING… to be a gentleman, it’s the GD Day Job.

Monday, November 4, 2024. I’m not even giving myself a break, doing some other BS. Braxton, if I could only let my mind go blank to escape today’s humiliation smorgasbord.

Anyway, let’s talk about us and my thoughts at said hellhole. Working the Day Job! “Brother, my brother…” “Brother, brother, brother…” I told you I’m not listening to Taylor Swift. Blessid Union of Souls and Marvin Gaye. Ok… Reproduction. Conception.

I was thinking how much Christmas… music annoys me and started thinking about the two other ‘holidays’ I get off. The day you passed and the anniversary of my Ma’s biggest effing mistake. I swear…

My Existence. But could I give you yours back? I’ve started reading Pawprints from Heaven. Will you be speaking to me next Monday, Braxton? I long for our connection, mind, heart, and soul, the page… maybe. An Enormous Blank, B

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 127 ~Vote For Us B~

WillLeave a comment

I may not have any two-legged kids running around yet. A childless dog guy. But today, I’m striving to be “Human,” an “Ordinary Human,” and “just a regular, everyday normal mother effer.” So, I’m going to VOTE for Kamala Harris! “Vote For Us B.”

Tuesday, November 5, 2024

Meditation 127 ~Vote For Us B~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And I don’t care who you vote for… Though I see the woman I married.

But being the man you married… It’s days like this that show I’m not the worst. However, if MAGA has its way… How long could I remain in business? “Remember, Remember the fifth of November” (A day of historical significance.) So today, I choose not to stay in this bed. “For The Love of You.”

For the Love of Us. Because I’m not Jesse Watters. And as much as I want to break out the Lee Greenwood soundtrack… My inane, insane, and downright ignorant thoughts…

Well, they don’t involve MAGA in winning today. If you want to know my thoughts…

Somebody “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’” when I go to vote today. Every day is an opportunity to see my son Braxton, who passed away. How many people have read that?

But B resides in the kingdom of Heaven… The Republic? The Rainbow Bridge, my Love.

Only today is “All About You” baby doll. The world I want you to be safe and happy in along with our daughters. I envision a country where our sons will grow up to be men and not whatever MAGA is. “What Makes A Good Man?” “Isn’t It Ironic?” Seriously.

Playlist creation at a time like this. Anyway, what I’m trying to say about good men is this. I can look at myself as a good man for once because of the one I raised, my son Braxton. And I’m much better than those evil ones in the red hats. This is Madness! Or Stupidity! Bear with me, my Love.

THIS IS AMERICA!!! Childish Gambino meets King Leonidas. I swear, “Where Is My Mind” Love? The Last Voter by Chris Dietzel. I should have read that again before today. Instead, I chose Braxton. I’m reading another pet loss book. I need to pay attention today.

At the voting booth? My Love, voting for Kamala Harris is the easiest choice I’ll have to make today. I have a harder time voting for who has the best Yabbos ever morning… Just Kidding… those would be yours, my Love. And as much of a businessman as I am. I mind my business, which is you and our family. Effing MAGA has no place.

Democracy will win ‘Cause I believe that Love is the answer.” Vote For Us B

1374 Days Without B III, Day 815 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 123 ~Braxton and Virgil Meet~

WillLeave a comment

Is it a lack of food that has me Cannibalizing myself? I don’t think I got any Halloween candy. Perhaps the Day Job? (Shudders). I spent all my money on books about Yabbos and keeping V fed. I can’t have him meeting B. Yet… “Braxton and Virgil Meet.”

Friday, November 1, 2024

Meditation 123 ~Braxton and Virgil Meet~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… I prefer it not to be a review of Joseph D’Lacey’s MEAT. I really said that!

And while Virgil is not my son Braxton… I don’t plan on sending Virgil to meet his older brother anytime soon. Braxton was still here when democracy was threatened before…

Election Day, then the Insurrection, and then the Inauguration. How I miss my little boy.

And I hate meeting new people. So, let’s start with the top contenders. Madam Justice, Dirty Diana, and the “Spirit in the Sky,” “My Sweet Lord,” “He’s My Son” Braxton.

Sophia, is there someone else? The voices in the head of a dead man. How about something to the tune of The Substance? Elisabeth Sparkle vs. Sue. “I Against I.” Only this is about us. It’s not about having bigger fish to fry. It’s just so many. Then there’s Cannibalism!

The MEAT and Greet Market:

I feel as though I’ve been here before… MEAT was before Tender Is The Flesh. But guess which one I read first? And which one got four stars? Uh, both. But MEAT was much more brutal… or should I say tough? Tender Is The Flesh is medium rare. MEAT is well done in the fires of Hell. I’ll eat both. I meant read both. Seriously, for all the Dead/Zombie stories, I read this book with living, breathing people eating… And let’s not forget the “adult situations” and worse. My friends… If my friends knew about such things as this. Am I crazy, or in a cult? Not much of a critic. The religious aspects, the riots, the rage… Chef’s kiss.

Today is Sunday, October 27, 2024, but by the time you read this, Halloween will be over and done with. I still need to figure out who I’ll talk to on Monday, November 4, 2024.

Again, Bigger vs. Many Fish, which is Election Day. Do you want to know how that story ends? Kamala Harris and Tim Walz for the win. Yes!!! Eff Donald Trump. I’m eager to hear your thoughts on this, My Lady.

Will I be “writing” new rules for Madam Justice to enforce? I’m not sure, Sophia. I’m feeling a bit lost in this sea of uncertainty.

Resurrect Dirty Diana. THEY would say I’m all crazy about the female form. Uh, Yabbos?

I could TRY to let my son speak through me. Or create a better version of myself to write about.

Younger, more handsome, more perfect. Wouldn’t that be my “two” sons? Braxton and Virgil Meet.

1370 Days Without B III, Day 811 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 122 ~Can’t B Bothered Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

It’s Halloween! What am I? A corpse? The TWD variety? Maybe? I’m still talking to B from across the Rainbow Bridge. And what about Virgil? Well, he’s not worried about chocolate poisoning. I’m not an ordinary human. Can’t B Bothered Virgil.

Thursday, October 31, 2024

Meditation 122 ~Can’t B Bothered Virgil~

1369 Days Without B III, Day 810 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? If only I were busy writing books about a dead man. You B. But instead…

If I had my way, “Wouldn’t It Be Nice,” to sit on the loveseat. You, me, and your favorite girl. Your honorary Aunt. I’m not an optimist or positive in any way. Sometimes, I think the last of my goodness left with you, like something out of Silent Hill. Braxton?

Don’t ask me why, but that’s the feeling that came over me some time ago. Today is Friday, October 25, 2024. But even before I got my latest schedule… Sigh. “I Gotta Feeling,” that “every little thing gonna be alright.” Am I thinking about throwing a Halloween party? No! Your Dad would never. I only want to watch horror movies. Braxton, those were the best nights. Though you didn’t care for the zombie genre, right?

Anytime The Walking Dead, Fear The Walking Dead, or anything related came on, I turned into Lieutenant Dan… “Get down! Shut up! One more nightly exploit I excluded you from. Though I didn’t mind that you saw the Dead. When I needed my private time…

Well, your Daddy becomes a monster. That’s why I always sent you to your room. Virgil doesn’t seem to mind that I am a zombie. But I can be worse. Except he only gets into trouble when I go to the Day Job. He doesn’t guard me when I take naps. He does walk the hallway because I won’t let him in the room until he learns to go outside, or more so on his training pad. I swear, Braxton.

How long did it take you to stop being a little monster? Please! The vets knew those chompers of yours. And you couldn’t stand your Aunt for eight months. Courageous.

Your Aunt is a courageous woman, but what are you, Braxton? A Halloween ghost? Hmm. A zombie like your Old Man. I was the one that had to put you down. Again, it’s like something out of I Am Legend. Am I making a movie list for Halloween? Don’t I wish.

We’re finishing this talk on Sunday, October 27, 2024. Just now… Busy with Virgil? Nope! Your Dad hasn’t become a good man for Halloween. Not even a costume. Playing Dead?

Aren’t I always? Virgil’s Chips from Dawn of the Dead. Can’t B Bothered Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 120 ~They’ll B Time Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Everything can wait. But love can’t tell time. How long was I sitting on the bench waiting for the news that my son was dying? How long was I at the altar waiting to leave my father and mother and be joined with a wife? I’m 40. They’ll B Time Virgil.

Tuesday, October 29, 2024

Meditation 120 ~They’ll B Time Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Not enough to forget Braxton. You’d never ask that. But enough to love myself. Hehe

What a way to start the day, huh? Honestly, the day should have started at 4:00 AM this Friday, October 25, 2024. 3:00 AM? I can only be me, not Eric Thomas, my love. And when did I last listen to one of his motivational speeches? Or hear the voice, the bark of my Braxton.

All I hear these days is the ticking of the clock and my grumbling. Moaning…

Honestly, I wish they were yours. Must everything be “stuff & thangs?” My raison d’être.

For the longest time, I felt that was to be B’s Dad. To have a family. He will always be. Only there’s you, our children. Hopefully, my Ma. What about Virgil and my sister, too?

Not that I make time.

That’s what’s bothering me today… More than my B III being gone? More than my next breath? More than my birth… Emergence Day? And how about the next pair of breas… um, Yabbos that wants a job. There’s never enough time for pain, pleasure, personhood…

And why am I so pressed for time? Nowadays, I could say politics. Constitution, Freedom. And all of the buzzwords that are being thrown. But there’s always time to say that I love you. And it could be another lesson from Braxton. If I gave him all my love, what was left for me? Or did he know I had love to share, and now that he’s gone, I can and should? Even at forty…

Is there time for me to learn how to love? I don’t write love stories. But writing is my first love. Or so it was. Now, when I look at my schedule. It could be even worse. If you knew what my old Day Job calendar looked like. The way I would get sick. In Hell, my love, there’s enough time for weeping and gnashing of teeth. So, is that why I’m still alive? Nope

I tell myself it’s to keep Braxton alive. I would do anything for him. And that’s why I stay so busy. Or I’m sleeping. But haven’t I been taking energy shots lately? Or rising for…

Jewel Staite

More Yabbos or anything close. Love, let’s be in our bunk. And afterward, with this existence. They’ll B Time Virgil.

1367 Days Without B III, Day 808 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will