Meditation 190 ~Heading B’s Way Virgil~

So many things are happening in my head that I forgot my “Resolutions.” And if I try to relax, the other head is worse… Eww! Where is the Queen of Hearts, The Red Queen, or Cherry? And it might snow, too? Another worry. “Heading B’s Way Virgil.”

Tuesday, January 7, 2025

Meditation 190 ~Heading B’s Way Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? Is it with the type of love that my Braxton had for me? That love…

If this is the kind of love that my mom used to warn me about
Man, I’m in trouble
I’m in real big trouble ―

Wyclef Jean said it better than I ever could. And Braxton never said a word. Yet I believe he sends me these songs and words. Like you could say, I’m Insane in the Membrane. Ha!

Then again, I’ve always said I’ll take physical pain over mental mischief. My head hurts!

Because yesterday… And I’m remaining “positive.” But my love, I’m only speaking the truth. Yesterday was a terrible day for my mental health. I went from falling back asleep to looking at myself in the mirror and wondering… How did Socrates do it? Uh, Hemlock.

I was so exhausted that I was praying for some accident. Yes, women are dangerous.

Before heading to bed, I spent most of the night looking up… Stuff And Thangs?

Not my own or some beautiful girls’ Yabbos. Our “home” is for you, my lovely wife, and any “partners.” I’m still researching that option. But last night I was looking for things… Like I keep in the nightstand. Russian Roulette type… Stop watching Squid Game.

Only the finale remains. But that’s not the reason I’m fighting hard to stay positive. It’s like that time I read Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret. It was supposed to bring positivity. But somehow, I got triggered by a wave of negativity that swept over me. It was like a storm in my mind, overwhelming. Overstimulating?

Having two heads, my love… Or is it I’m wearing too many hats? It could be, as THEY say. Heavy the head that wears the crown. And I want my crown. For you, ours, Braxton…

Darling, I won’t credit Braxton with “You Can Leave Your Hat On.” Ha-ha. Would I make you my Kyrie Canaan or Lady Dimitrescu, my love? I swear, like most men, I have to blow one head to clear the other. And after that joy, well, what comes next… Both figuratively and literally… Eww! And is that a positive thing? Making Love. Getting Off. Saying hi to my monster. I didn’t do that yesterday. If anything, my love, honestly. It’s just…

Yesterday, I felt like a victim. And I was tired of running. I’m losing my head one way or another. But it’s a cold, cruel, coming to an end type of world. Braxton needs company…

But as a Husband, Father, and Friend. Whatever else, love. I understand the importance of emotional connection. I’m committed to being there for you, my love, and I hope you’ll be there for me too as we navigate life’s challenges together. Heading B’s Way Virgil

1437 Days Without B III, Day 878 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 186 ~What B Reads, Virgil~

I won’t talk about “Lord of the Flies,” “The Moonstone,” or the names of anybody that I owe or will owe. And as much as I enjoy A Different Alchemy, it’s sad. But the names and pictures of Girls On Film. And the memory of my son. What B Reads, Virgil

Friday, January 3, 2025

Meditation 186 ~What B Reads, Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… A positive story? We’re three days in, and I can show you less-than-stellar reads. Texts, Bills…

But, no. I’d never stop. Speaking of never stopping. I’ll never stop writing about Braxton.

Is it puppy love? My boy is fifteen, and the other one, V, is four. But every day, as I mark the dates on the calendar, I’m reminded of the joy of fatherhood. It’s a testament to my manhood, to my role as a father.

I like that I can go back at any time and read the novels I wrote for and with Braxton. Sophia, that’s one more thing. Another day gets me. You can see I’m trying… Positivity.

There’s another chance to love. “I Don’t Know How To Love Him,” I swear the songs Braxton sends to me as I sit here. Is he talking about myself, Virgil, or my feelings for him?

Again, there’s the Day Job.

Payday! Lady Sophia, I feel like Winston Smith here having to use Doublethink. If I’m to stay on the positive side of the line… I have a Day Job, a paycheck, and adult money. Wow!

Yesterday, as I sat there contemplating life… Not Existence? Life? It’s so hard, my lady. You know, playing Mr. Brightside. I would say, “Let’s Go Crazy.” This is day three. Remind me, Sophia, to write down B’s songs. Anyway, I was looking at expected deposits.

And so I’m looking forward to having the termite inspector in and out of the house without too much damage. And while I’m talking about music, I have Dale Carnegie’s audiobook “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living with my dystopian reading list ever-increasing somehow.

Plus, there’s when I put pen to paper. But let’s focus on somebody else. There’s always Cherry. While I enjoy reading her work, I won’t lie to you, Sophia. When I hear that ping… There’s hope that it will be a picture of her Yabbos. Pretty much any girl, actually.

Disgusting beats Depression. Does it not? So, I like working on galleries and erotic fiction. It’s another testament because some of these girls have dozens of pictures to their name. B III has hundreds, meaning organizing would take me much longer. Love over Lust, Hmm.

But aren’t I trying to keep it in my pants? And Kindle is all sorts of confused. Am I being liberal or libertine with my reading? What B Reads, Virgil

1433 Days Without B III, Day 874 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 185 ~Braxton’s Promising Rhymes Virgil~

“This isn’t too bad…” I’d tell B after anything I wrote. B couldn’t read, or could he if his looking down on my t-shirts was a sign. But he’s not looking down on me now… He wants me to follow through with writing. “Braxton’s Promising Rhymes Virgil.”

Thursday, January 2, 2025

Meditation 185 ~Braxton’s Promising Rhymes Virgil~

1432 Days Without B III, Day 873 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? I promise to be positive, I promise to be positive, I promise to be positive!

Yes, those are tears in my eyes, B. I’m only tired… mostly. And the day hasn’t even begun yet. Does it start from my first breath at midnight? Does it begin with eyes wide open?

You know we’re coming back to that. The first song you sent this morning, Braxton. Creed’s, With Arms Wide Open. But anyway, we’re talking about how the day begins, B.

Is it when I do something like go to the Day Job? Again, I promise you, little B III, positivity. It could be the day’s beginning, which is actually my DECOMPRESSION. When I give myself fifteen minutes rushing back to bed after I return and Make The World Go Away.

Obviously, with your musical selections today. Tupac, though, “rapped” this. However, with you B:

I feel his (paw) on my brain. When I write rhymes, I go blind and let (my son) do his thang

And speaking of all the music. There are so many things I need to do at the beginning of the year. For example, what will be the first song I play on Spotify? Something positive…

How about something promising? That’s Creed for ya. But you were a “happy” accident when you became my son. I’m sure you knew about your brother before I ever did.

And with Virgil’s Gotcha Day, I need to take off from the Day Job at the end of the month. A day to honor you, my son. And that leads me to what I’ve been thinking of a bit, B.

“What can I do to get me to you?” I swear you know your music as much as I sang. Obviously, that’s Steve Conte’s “Call Me Call Me.” Anything but positive. But I am trying.

And in my quest to make our future bright, I made a promise to you. I promised to become an author, to buy a big house with a massive yard for you to guard. And in this house, we would be so far from the hustle and bustle of the world, except for your honorary aunt. And of course, I promised you two-legged siblings too.

You’d be an Old Man saying, I’m getting too old for this (stuff). Promises, Resolutions. Like Master Yoda, “Do or do not. There is no try.” If… when I succeed in building you Heaven, Paradise, and Elysium, you will return. But positivity… You never left me. Braxton’s Promising Rhymes Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 183 ~B, Eve, And Virgil~

“What are you doing New Year’s, New Year’s Eve?” Well, Ella Fitzgerald, I spent most of the year the same way. I’m in bed dreading life and not wanting to participate in much today. But if I had a wife, two-legged kids, and B uh V… B, Eve, And Virgil

Tuesday, December 31, 2024

Meditation 183 ~B, Eve, And Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? More than yesterday. More than today, even on New Year’s Eve. Doesn’t feel like it…

It’s not an ending or a new beginning. It’s just another day. Only Matchbox Twenty said it better. One more day down. So what about today? Considering next year, too…

Darling, what do I want? What is thy bidding, my Master? Eww! Knowing your man. These simplistic New Year’s Resolutions:

  1. I want Braxton back.
  2. Virgil becomes my son
  3. Finish, It Can’t Happen Here
  4. Stop waking up moaning
  5. Wanting to wake up
  6. To stop complaining
  7. Stop fearing my father
  8. Visiting OnlyFans with money
  9. Make more on OnlyFans
  10. Don’t talk to myself
  11. To stop smiling unnecessarily
  12. To stop procrastinating
  13. Clean out the inboxes
  14. Cutting the phone off daily
  15. Be not so fearful

Fifteen? My lucky number. Unlucky when it comes to my first love. Well, the first I was solely responsible for. My firstborn son Braxton. But that was 2021, and we’re heading into 2025. So will I start these tomorrow… When did the comedian die? But not my lustful resolutions, babe:

  1. I want Braxton back
  2. Virgil becomes my son
  3. To build a Bordello
  4. To create a Harem
  5. To produce Adult films
  6. Publish an erotic series
  7. Moaning with someone (wife)
  8. No more masturbation (alone)
  9. Exploring Sadism and Masochism
  10. To be less shameful
  11. Working on my body
  12. Continue building sexual collections
  13. Sex once a week
  14. Study NTR, Dollification, etc.
  15. M Anime or Cherry

A few things. When it comes to making babies I always ask where my two furry sons are first. So, I lock them out when I’m having adult time. Second, the critic won’t like this. Neither will M Anime or Cherry. And again, you know the man you married. Resolutions:

  1. I’ll keep Virgil alive
  2. I’ll publish a bestseller
  3. Make one hundred million
  4. I’ll write 400 Words daily
  5. I’ll complete every NaNoWriMo
  6. I‘ll provide for us
  7. Episode 345 ~You Got Will’s Number~
  8. I’ll be FEARLESS
  9. I’ll be TRUTHFUL
  10. I’ll LIVE not exist
  11. I‘ll LOVE someone
  12. I’ll find HAPPINESS
  13. ACCEPTANCE with Braxton’s loss… NEVER
  14. Less depression… In bed
  15. I’ll gain POWER to…

1430 Days Without B III, Day 871 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 179 ~B’s Blaming Bills Virgil~

I still have Netflix. And since I’m paying, what am I watching? The Six Triple Eight? Squid Game? Uh… I’ve seen The Book of Clarence how many times? A man with no money, no woman, listening to white people. Ah, Christmas! B’s Blaming Bills Virgil

Friday, December 27, 2024

Meditation 179 ~B’s Blaming Bills Virgil~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… Better yet, I should read you a bill for this Christmas. Some are for books, okay.

But the biggest one at the moment will require me to get off my keister and head to the bank on this rainy afternoon. I could have done it this morning… And if my keister or another part of my anatomy was worth more. On Onlyfans? I swear, Lady Sophia.

https://onlyfans.com/1455686321/willyswants

Publishing books… Haven’t I said I want to do that too. The only reason I got up from my nap at 1:00 PM is because of M Anime. She wanted to see my story… our story. The one from her nightmare. Nightmare At The Meat Market. The things I think about women, dear Sophia. And what I think about myself as a man. Will anything change with the new year? Besides existing in dystopian fiction…

I want to buy either the next book or existing under a Trump Presidency. No wonder I’ve been a lot more liberal with my words. Or should I say conservative? Haven’t I brought this up before? When it’s Mr. Nasty time on X/Twitter, I get a lot of ads from Elon Musk and MAGA. Makes you wonder. My other page is much cleaner, give or take the occasional wrestler… Here’s looking at you, Roxanne Perez, and Piper Niven. Or my nostalgia for Final Fantasy. The good ole days when I was only writing poetry, Sophia.

But that’s not paying the bills either. And since my 40th E-Day, what have I done? I canceled one bill for the man who’s paying most of them. For shame

At times, I feel like I’m not living up to the expectations of a man. Duh! Instead, I’m a burden, a bill that no one should have to pay for.

Only, I’m here. It’s what I tell everyone, Lady Sophia. I take up Space. I don’t Hold Space as Clarence’s mom told him. I could do what I do in the ground. Now that’s dark.

But something must be in the black because it’s not my bank account ever. I’d rather have the black in something… Eww! Do I ever stop? Did Braxton ever stop eating? Twice. Once on his birthday. And it’s the saddest I’ve ever seen him. Full and fat finally but depressed.

The second time… Nope! I haven’t cried today. I need to see the cost of existing. B’s Blaming Bills Virgil

1426 Days Without B III, Day 867 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 178 ~B’s Bad Day, Virgil~

It’s sad to say I had better days when B III was sitting on my head, and I couldn’t breathe. Now I hit the snooze button and hope I’m not breathing in 15. Christmas spirit indeed… Don’t check my “OF.” Such are the times, the days. B’s Bad Day, Virgil

Thursday, December 26, 2024

Meditation 178 ~B’s Bad Day, Virgil~

1425 Days Without B III, Day 866 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? It is 4:10 PM. So my day… Well, I didn’t share it with your brother.

Though Virgil is asleep at the foot of the bed. He still stays off your corner. And your bed, B? I don’t even worry about it. Your scent lingers, Braxton. If Life Finds A Way…

However, there’ll be more on that later. How was my day? It was a bit of a rollercoaster, B. Some parts were horrible, some were terrible, and some were just plain stupid. But I’m here, and I’m thinking of you.

Let’s start with standing in the Walmart parking lot in the rain and thinking weirdly. Usually, they start at the Day Job and come out fully cooked coming back. And speaking of fully cooked, we need to talk about Christmas too. Seeing your grandparents, B.

Anyway. Here is the thought: I’ve never had three good days in a row. Before. With. And even after you. Comedy comes in threes, right? But evil is infinite B…

And you, my son, were my Langolier. Where do I keep getting these nicknames I never called you in life? I swear I should read a Stephen King novel. Not that I regret reading Brave New World, 1984, and apparently the appendix edition of Fahrenheit 451. And I want to waste more money on Satan’s Sorority Girls 8, Ryan and His Beauties 2, and Bikini Sunset. And I still have to read, It Can’t Happen Here” What, a good day?

Again, three good ones in a row. But what counts as a good day in my eyes? One, where I don’t mind opening them. Even if you were sitting on my head. No homo, as Todd would say. One where dropping dead is No Bueno.

But let’s sum up yesterday… I visited your grandparents for Christmas and sat with your great-grandma. I didn’t talk much and let your little brother take the heat. I filled up two to-go boxes… three if you were here and left. Then I took Christmasy pictures, you shouldn’t see. Eww.

And today? I went to the Day Job and had to lead a guy around as we made Christmas disappear and got doused in green glitter. I got hit in the face, my leg is hurting again, and of course, Humiliations Galore. Humiliated at Walmart, robbed, and a nap later…

And here we are. Needless to say, I don’t wanna go to work. Friday is gonna be effed. There’ve been worse. B’s Bad Day, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 176 ~B Happier There Virgil~

Some toys are better left in the sack. I’m not one to be played with. Only my father wants to toy around and my Ma had two C-Sections to bring me and my sister into being. Now I’ve been asked… commanded home for Christmas. B Happier There Virgil

Tuesday, December 24, 2024

Meditation 176 ~B Happier There Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? It’s not even a question; it’s a fact. And since comedy comes in threes, well…

One, anytime I’m *feeling super, super (super!) suicidal*, my father, son, or the old Day Job is the cause. And if you’re asking about this morning, the winner… father, obviously.

Two, I have said often enough that fatherhood is the epitome of manhood. However, I look at my father, I will look up mine eyes unto the hills, and I see men of the cloth…

Disgustingly, I wanted to be a father. And no, not a priest. I mean a red-blooded man with you, our children, a home. I’m a greedy S.O.B., but that’s the crux: I want a family.

Ironically, I sit here with you at precisely 8:56 AM, and I am ready to throw it all away and join my firstborn son, Braxton.

I wondered what I would say to you this Christmas Eve morning, and now I am crying my heart out. And for once, I’m not shedding tears about my firstborn son, B III. But myself.

I couldn’t care less about Santa Claus, Satan, or the snake oil salesman about to take our country. Father Christmas, the Father of evil, what would the Founding Fathers think.

Today, I only worry about the man in the mirror. The man you chose to be your husband, my love. And I think about all I’ve done for him, you, and our family. I wanted to show him the life I wanted to give. And now I want you to have that “When I’m Gone.”

Overdramatic. Gee Whiz, It’s Christmas!

It will be tomorrow, and there’s no comfort or joy. Happiness? I will take what we have this very second over anything that will happen tomorrow. Merry Christmas, indeed. Eff!

I was not asked or assuaged into this and cannot abdicate it. I may be getting the hang of this St. Nick thing. Because what started as a favor, an act of mercy, a kindness…

Christmas is now a command, a con job, the call for an execution of self. It’s the annihilation of the individual, to become a nonexistent person, vaporized, driven from society. ROOM 101! I’m not going home; I’m headed to the gallows. Death is your gift.

Yeah, if you’re my father. Because this Christmas, wherever Braxton is… B Happier There Virgil

1423 Days Without B III, Day 864 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 172 ~Virgil, There’ll B Christmas~

Any GOOD Christmas stories? I’m not trying to be an ungrateful SOB. My Olds are upper middle class. But when I think of Christmas… I’ve watched A Christmas Story with B. Chinese with his Aunt, Pokémon Stadium from my Ma. Virgil, There’ll B Christmas.

Friday, December 20, 2024

Meditation 172 ~Virgil, There’ll B Christmas~

Hey Lady Sophia,
Let me tell you a story… A Christmas Story? Nah. That’s one more tradition trashed. And I can’t even blame Trump there.

You know how they once played the movie for twenty-four hours straight. Do they still?

Anyway. I will blame MAGA for not getting my Christmas FREEK on. What there was romance in Brave New World. And Winston and Julia in 1984. And what about today…

More Books! More Books! And not Christmas gifts? What about proper food? I said that? When I’m still trying to get M Anime to take off her clothes. Albeit with a bit more subtlety. And what about presents for my boys? What about Braxton’s Aunt, Cherry, and M Anime anyway? And where would I get these gifts from without being a sell-out, Lady So? Walmart, Amazon, big corporations, and the smallest places are all decked out for Christmas, Lady Sophia.

What about myself? We were supposed to be talking at 4:00 AM, but here we are at 7:50 AM. It didn’t help that around 6:30 AM, the most Christmasy thing I did was EDGING for girls in their Christmas finery. Or at least wearing red. I didn’t white it out.

Actually, black or BLACKED is my current kink at the moment. But I’m not spending any money on it, thankfully. And I’m trying to stay away from Onlyfans. And as far as my Wish List? I’ll save that for tomorrow. That is if I remember. I’m forgetting yesterday’s humiliations still. The Day Job, which I hate and apparently can’t do either. And I’m still ashamed. But having balls, reading books, and the boy I lost…

No! None of those are Christmas stories, Lady Sophia. And honestly, Sophia, besides reading dystopian fiction and my ever-draining bank account, I’ve been going over M Anime’s messages. Audio, since she had a work accident. And fantasizing over Cherry’s words.

I swear that woman could get more money out of me than my Old Man did. Ten dollars for an Amazon raffle. And I don’t expect Wednesday to be much fun. But I won’t starve.

Then again, who knows. Because instead of telling you my desires, I have to pick and choose what we’ll have in the fridge and the pantry before then. Sixty simoleons. It’s a bit tight, and I could use some support.

Whatever! If I’m lucky. And seeing as how my Old Man called… I’ll still be alive? Virgil, There’ll B Christmas.

1419 Days Without B III, Day 860 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Meditation 171 ~Virgil’s Booking Pain Braxton~

I haven’t read the books I wrote for or with my son in ages. And the book I’m reading now… It’s going to hurt. I’m preparing for the U.S.A. next year. Remember, Winston was thirty-nine, and I’m forty. No B III, no Julia. Virgil’s Booking Pain Braxton

Thursday, December 19, 2024

Meditation 171 ~Virgil’s Booking Pain Braxton~

1418 Days Without B III, Day 859 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Seeing as how I’m sitting in bed on Wednesday evening. And I’m still counting scars…

Well, different forms of PAIN anyway. Earlier this week, I discussed having a headache, bum ear, and aching leg. You can add a stomachache to the mix. Whether that’s from letting you down, thinking about tomorrow/today, or 1984… It’s all a mess, Braxton. The usual.

But it sucks even more when you know what’s going to happen. Only packing the car with your things hurts more than Winston and Julia being arrested by the Thought Police. That scene… I’m getting into George Orwell’s novel, huh? If I were, I wouldn’t be tearing up today. As always, Braxton, whenever something gets me upset, I think of the worst day of our “lives,” and here I am, still alive. But who knows what horrors tomorrow will bring.

If I were smart, I’d get the Winston and Julia arrest out of the way and focus on the Ministry of Love. It would prepare me for the Day Job. And if only I would publish one of our novels already. Tuesday, M Anime messaged me about, Nightmare At The Meat Market. I was so dedicated to it back in November. And how many stories did you watch me write that amounted to nothing? I last sat at the Dining Room table a few weeks ago. Or even sitting in the recliner reading while listening to some 1984 Ambience, B III. Again, I’ve been reading worse things. The bank account, pill bottles, and a grocery list. I swear that scares me more than my writing.

But what about Virgil’s story. Talk about the Ministry of Love. He comes scrambling out of your room like he’s seen a ghost… Did I say that, Braxton? You haven’t been haunting him as he’s desperate to get in here with me. If he knew how to use training pads.

You’ve seen that he does, but he won’t step into your spot, which brings us back to money and what I should be buying. No, not more dystopian books. Christmas, Harems, Pet Loss, Training, everything under the sun. Like me sleeping at noon every day? What about how to be a better parent? And you’re a Big Brother, aren’t you? But we are the dead.

Not me, but being so brokenhearted. Virgil’s Booking Pain Braxton

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Meditation 169 ~Virgil And B Vitamins~

Men try not to share with their families. And that’s one of the reasons Braxton is gone. I wanted to protect him from my pain. So, I ignored his pain until it was too late. And now, with how I “look after” myself. And V’s needs. Virgil And B Vitamins

Tuesday, December 17, 2024

Meditation 169 ~Virgil And B Vitamins~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? And all you need is love, right. The smooth jams of Marvin Gaye’s particular healing.

I wish I could maintain this positivity. But at this particular moment as Braxton’s… spirit was telling me about. I feel like Winston and Julia did… After the Thought Police…

Have you ever read 1984 my love? I’m sorry if I spoiled it for you. I can be a pain.

However, today’s point is that I’m in pain. I’ve felt worse. Am I going to bring up Braxton yet again? If you ever copped with that type of attitude, I’d walk out in a heartbeat. No one disrespects our children, especially my firstborn son. But speaking of heartbeats. Do I need one? I’m counting up injuries. I’ve got a headache; my right ear’s a mess. And have I pulled a muscle in my left leg?

I’m just a sucker for pain. Since leaving my Olds payroll… I’m a billionaire now. Well, you and I are billionaires, my love. Anyway, the only pain that interests me is yours and the girls in the business, if you know what I mean… If you’re interested in what took me so long to talk to you today. Only I found no relief as I’m still hurting all over, love.

Reading didn’t help. Again, I’m in my favorite part of 1984: Winston and Julia’s affair. Did you know Winston was thirty-nine and Julia was twenty-six? I’m forty, and what’s your age again, baby girl? It would be a pain if I forgot your age or your birthday. But What’s My Age Again? I’m forgetful. Huh.

These days, this man’s body, music, and memories remind me that I should be publishing a manuscript. But I feel so bad today. I need to remember to down this pill that’s on the table beside me. I swear, even the algorithm knows what I’m up to. With last night…

I saw a video message warning about the dangers of acetaminophen. But why doesn’t anyone answer this? How Can You Mend a Broken Heart? I swear the music, my love.

And as for us in the bedroom? Gee whiz, I wonder why I’m into someone else’s pain and humiliation. And all sorts of dirty words. And what about getting swatted on the behind… I have issues. Like Braxton’s passing. My pain. Virgil And B Vitamins

1416 Days Without B III, Day 857 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will