Tag: Heaven

Journey 184 ~Braxton’s Day One, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

First day of the New Year… my “Ex-Girlfriend” is getting married this month. And my son passed away… Going on five years now. Auld Lang Syne, indeed. And after all the noise last night. A five AM bedtime, but Happy New Year… Braxton’s Day One, Virgil

Thursday, January 1, 2026

Journey 184 ~Braxton’s Day One, Virgil~

1796 Days Without B III, Day 1237 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Good Day? Happy New Year, Braxton Barks Bradford! Firgues, I’d talk to you Day One.

And you didn’t have to sit on my head, ha. But B, you’re always “in the back of my mind. Do you Remember The Time?” Uh, you passed B, “Little Bitty Pretty One.” New year?

But your Dad still needs his music. I may have missed the ball drop… What? I wasn’t asleep. I just didn’t watch… (Not for lack of trying). Well, the bullets, bombs, and blowhards were enough. Your lil’ bro 2-V spent two hours hiding under my legs in terror. And I was zoned out until 5:00 AM. Party with the lights on, New Year’s Eve, thank you, Joe Walsh. But this is the first day, so how am I feeling? The house is full of elephants.

Stinks? Never forget? No Room?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

For what? New Year’s Resolutions? The 12 Wishes Ritual? Release Letter for the Year (2025)? Hell B, you were never “released.” I repeat “nearly” the same day you left on the 31st every year. Now throw in M Anime… For all I know, she’s a wifey. But on the 24th…

Five months since the break-up, I’ll consider that chapter closed—acceptance in that B III.

But not with us. I believe I’ll “See You Again.” But I’m Lenny Kravitz coming to M Anime, Eww! “All of my life. Where have you been? I wonder if I’ll ever see you AGAIN.”

Seriously, what will be my first song of the new year? I spoiled myself with Audible yet again, listening to Succubus Lord 7. I swear

Do I hear myself? What are my 12 Wishes for the New Year? Barring your resurrection or M Anime marrying me. “Letters from the Sky,” Ribbon in the Sky,” or something to that effect. “Something happens for me!” John Q, the King of Wishful Thinking:

  1. Keep Little Virgil Alive
  2. My Novel’s A Bestseller
  3. Make One Million Dollars
  4. Leave The Day Job
  5. Find Someone To Love
  6. Stop Being A Bum
  7. Content Creation, Not Writing
  8. Finally Live Without Fear
  9. Therapy, Medication, Fixing Me
  10. Buy A New Laptop
  11. Bring Back Justice (Payback)
  12. Be Who You Saw

It’s not much of a list. Not like that one way back, but Happy New Year! Braxton’s Day One, Virgil.

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 182 ~Don’t B Hatin’ Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

“Days Go By,” still, I think of you as the song goes. Days I wish I’d never seen… E-Day forty-one years ago, Jan 31st four years ago, today, but no. Aug 24th wins this year. The worst day ever. B III never met HER, nor did 2-V. Don’t B Hatin’ Virgil.

Tuesday, December 30, 2025

Journey 182 ~Don’t B Hatin’ Virgil~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? More than my boys? Isn’t that always the question? Braxton was here before. Um, us…

As in “Physical.” I’m not Olivia Newton-John old. As in “passin’, passin’ away.” “The Crossroads? Bone Thugs-N-Harmony? Yeah, that’s more my speed. But the music?

Honestly, lover, it’s not blowing up the skies, the bullets flying, or my old bones cracking that I’m trying to block out right now. Well, more so December 31st… New Year’s Eve. The ticking of the damn clock. You know I almost said cock, ha! And I’m sure I said cuck today. But either at the old Day Job or my dream job. Either would fit. Am I right?

But I don’t want to talk about today. And never tomorrow. I want to write a letter this year. But I ain’t got time for that. No, sorry, my love.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

And sadly, I hated the whole year. Hell, I have every day “documented.” But which day is the most hated? Why not loved? I love you, our children, and I am pretty fond of Virgil.

So no, I don’t hate him. And I’m sure he doesn’t hate me for not walking him today or catching the sunset. Did you feel how cold it was today? I should really know, love.

Yesterday, I left a comment about ICE and the Ninth Circle of Hell. They betray everyone, while I only betrayed my firstborn son. It’s about to be five years on January 31st, and I couldn’t save my Braxton. ACCEPTANCE isn’t in my vocabulary. But unfortunately, like MAGA and the Cracker Hats, there is always HATE.

And if I HATE one day out of this whole Braxton forsaken year, it’s honestly…

Sunday, August 24, 2025, at approximately 6:00 AM. It’s always a “Sunday Bloody Sunday,” my love. My “Endless Love.” I’m “Hopelessly Devoted To You.” Seriously?

Like I am every single year. Why? Because every one of them was supposed to be the last beloved. Ever since I was “Seventeen.” And you know I wish I’d been younger. I wish I’d never been… But I’m here—forty-one years, a harem, two furry boys. B does count.

But on that “Sunday Morning,” when you said what you said… Who’d I hate more? You, me, or even Braxton for making me stay to say goodbye to another year? Whatever. Don’t B Hatin’ Virgil.

1794 Days Without B III, Day 1235 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 181 ~Y Braxton, Why Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Why, when Every Day Is Exactly The Same? The new year starts on Thursday. MAGA celebrates effing the country on the 6th and 20th. I’ll assume M Anime will be married on the 24th, five months after her/our breakup. B left Jan 31. Y Braxton, Why Virgil

Monday, December 29, 2025

Journey 181 ~Y Braxton, Why Virgil~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… And the question isn’t why am I here. But why are you here, my father? Head full of questions.

Why are you still on “The Long Walk”? Why are you still “The Running Man”? But to be honest, I’m starting to feel a bit like Ee’char to your Chief O’Brien… DS9, Episode 4×19 “Hard Time.” What? I am my father’s son. Humans are weird. But still, you’re my Dad.

Always and forever, that’s why. You can remember Star Trek episodes. You can remember the year, the week, and the day that I… Had a change of venue. Plus, you’re not a movie director… Yet. Whatever happened to “28 Months Later”? Anyway, speaking of directing, that’s what you were thinking about all day at “The Bad Place.” You haven’t even had our customary nap. But you did take Virgil for his walk. To be young…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Which I am, by the way. Or am I older? Anything where I’m not… Not there with you, my father, at “The Closing of the Year.” And you wonder why you stay every single day.

Besides my sleepy little brother, that is. You have to see your dreams… our dreams come true. On that list you found on Saturday, I was number four. And everything else was to build a home for us, a world, and an entire universe. And that I found was being at your side every day. But what about Virgil? He’s been with you, going on four long years. And you and he continue to ask why. Who, what, when, where, and how, too. But why?

Love, loneliness, the last, lately

The belief that “maybe, you’re gonna be the one that saves me.” Are you talking to M Anime, Virgil, or even me? Why not you, Dad? That’s what scares you. Well, one of the many things that scares you. The belief that you couldn’t save me. That you made a big, beautiful mistake when you rescued Virgil. Isn’t it ironic? You left me in the back on Sunday, January 31, 2021, and on Saturday, August 13, 2022, you were springing Virgil from his cage. You’re thinking that this fear of asking yourself why you are still here is why M Anime no longer is. She left. Why? You stay. Why? Virgil? Why? I won’t say this year. But why not answer? Y Braxton, Why Virgil

“I don’t want Braxton to think he wasn’t worth staying for.”
― Naughty Saint Nick: A Spicy Holiday
Lexi Davis

“Fly, son of a goddess, and tear yourself away from these flames.”
― The Aeneid

1793 Days Without B III, Day 1234 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 177 ~A B Holiday Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Merry Christmas or “Bah humbug?” What you feel and what’s real? At least my Christmas blog isn’t nearly as bad as… You know who. FDT! And where is my Christmas spirit? I lost it back in August, but I need an hour or two for “A B Holiday Virgil.”

Thursday, December 25, 2025

Journey 177 ~A B Holiday Virgil~

1789 Days Without B III, Day 1230 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? If I brought back food from my Olds Christmas Brunch. Pray for us, B III.

Me and your little brother Virgil? Well, it’s official. It’s Christmas Day, and besides you, B, and then some woman’s boobs/yabbos. The third thought that comes to mind is the 2009 film “The Killing Room.” Hell, anywhere but here or there, meaning the brunch, B.

Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I was up so early, and it wasn’t a Day Job requirement. All so I could talk to my favorite son. Parents shouldn’t have favorites, right, B III? Then again, Virgil got brunch invitations. You didn’t. I’d Rather Be With You, B III.

Bootsy Collins isn’t very Christmasy. But if I intend to see GREEN, I’d better be “Driving Home For Christmas.” Yes, “I’ll Be Home For Christmas.” A home I’ll never see…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Five For Fighting? Me, a wife, you, your little brother, and your two-legged sibling. Well?

Actually, it would be eight. I want three crotch goblins, but the singer and all.

Requirements of being a Dad, again, to be up so early. Being Superman (It’s Not Easy), Braxton, but it beats this. Forty-one/Ben-Hur, Ray Garraty from The Long Walk, or The Running Man’s Ben Richards. Where oh where is my Christmas spirit? You know us, B.

Ebenezer Scrooge had cash. The Grinch had his dog, my boy, but means, and know-how. And I didn’t even bother making a Christmas list. I missed “The 12 Wishes Ritual.

Saturday maybe. “A Release Letter to the Year?” And I also need some New Year’s Resolutions. But first, Christmas Day.

The worst part will be seeing my Olds. “Take the Money and Run?” Excuse me, take the food and go because I didn’t get paid this week, so I have to last seven days. Budgeting…

I’m lucky things didn’t work out between your potential stepmom and me. There’s a Cuban guy somewhere who has his Christmas miracle. Three women in his harem. Didn’t I read something like that last week, except they were all Asian women? All I wanted was M… Braxton, am I really going to lie on Christmas

Stevie Wonder sang “Someday At Christmas,” talking about what it was for. I hate it. Only if “Everyone’s a Kid at Christmas Time,” I wish I didn’t feel BAD. Merry Christmas, A B Holiday Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 175 ~Braxton, Virgil, Find Santa~

WillLeave a comment

Was last week as humiliating? I should ask Santa for a rating scale. I got a new app for my writing. It says… GET HELP! Most wonderful time of the year, my ass. I’m surprised mine wasn’t fired today. Christmas gifts? Braxton, Virgil, Find Santa.

Tuesday, December 23, 2025

Journey 175 ~Braxton, Virgil, Find Santa~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? You found me. My boys found me first. And today, what did I find? Who?

Most days… Every day? As Wesley moaned in 2008’s “Wanted,” I don’t know who I am,” my love. And at the same time, since I’m quoting movies, it’s like 1993’s Demolition Man, “Isn’t there a thought repeating in that barbaric brain of yours… Don’t you have someone to k*ll?” I don’t know myself. And at the same time, I know exactly who I hate most.

Anxiety vs. Depression. Sweat vs. Blood. Braxton vs. Virgil. Coke vs. Pepsi. It goes on.
“And The Beat Goes On.” “The Whispers,” in my own effing head, my beloved. Madness.

And what does any of this have to do with Christmas? Honestly nothing. And Santa.

Love, “you don’t know how lovely you are.” And lucky or is that just me?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

If the kids come running saying, “I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus.” I’d want more.

And do you see how screwed up I am? I don’t know if I’m being cute, if I’d be doing more with my c*ck with you, or if I’m playing cuck and watching some jolly fat man with you, love. If I had a Christmas wish right this second, we’d be enjoying the Red/Black room…

Fifty Shades of Grey reference, amongst other things? And what are those things you ask?

Humiliations Galore! Boredom, the boys, and boxes of Christmas trees. Anything else has my eyes busting out of my skull. Boobies, blondes, brunettes, black hair. Hell, a buxom redhead, I am not picky. I’m easy to shop for. Magic Glasses…

Augmented realities, artificial intelligence, and amorality. Your husband’s an asshole. Like the song from Dennis Leary, I’m an “Asshole.” But a lucky one. Without pegging.

Eww! But I’m lucky. I got to play Santa for my two furry little boys. Or at least I tried, and I keep trying for B and V. But how old is Santa? Is he one of The Walking Dead?

Love, I could relate to him even more. But I’ll lie and play Santa for our kids. And I’m curious if you’re on the naughty or nice list. Even when I feel like… What? Nothing?

Because if I found Santa, I know what I’d ask for. It starts with D. Not my d*ck. A wish list? Braxton, Virgil, Find Santa

1787 Days Without B III, Day 1228 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 174 ~Red By Braxton, Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

I need to stop. I don’t need a STUPID red hat like MAGA to tell me that. But to stop… Seeing rage, giving into rutting, and mourning for my boy while not truly embracing his brother. If I stop. When, where, and how will I go? “Red By Braxton, Virgil”

Monday, December 22, 2025

Journey 174 ~Red By Braxton, Virgil~
Monday, December 15, 2025 4:55
Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… What you don’t know is what this day will bring, other than we’re talking today, because you have to go to “The Bad Place.” As you know, the quote from one of those books you would read to me, 1984: “You will work for a while, you will be caught, you will confess, and then you will die.” Granddaddy wanted you to read it. You did long ago, long ago.

Long ago, like the end of last year, to Virgil? And it’s why you started calling M Anime the Julia to your Winston. If you could only see your face this second, my father. I’d say you were turning red… You know, if it wasn’t for doggy colorblindness and all.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Sunday, December 21, 2025 4:49
Honestly, it was eye-opening for me when I… What’s left? No, Dad. Look at it, as I went to eat my treat in the next room. Or I had you freaking out when you thought you left me outside. Or more like I went to sit with my Favorite Girl, when you were sitting right beside her. Now I’m still here, sitting beside Virgil, snoozing in the sun, seething elsewhere because I don’t want to hurt you. Do you recall how you checked rage, Dad?

You wanted to protect me. And I don’t know how to protect you from this… I think the word I’m looking for is STAY. I was the excuse for avoiding the Olds’ Humiliation and Anger.

But this week, today is a Red Flag, Red Alert, one more Red Mark on your existence, even as we sit here talking, Daddy. “Red, gold, and green,” you would sing to me. That isn’t any Christmas tunage. I’m no Karma Chameleon but more of a Kiss From A Rose….

Seriously, now you’re thinking of Cherry in her sexy Red… You’re not sending me away.

Daddy, eww! Though it’s been more M Anime talk these days. You say you’re way “Too Good at Goodbyes.” Just like I was telling you, “you think I’m weak, I think you’re wrong,” years ago. I think we both need to STOP living our lives the way that we do. Daddy, more red. Not for Christmas. Red By Braxton, Virgil.

“But it’s hard to move forward, he thought to himself, when surrounded by memories of everything you’re trying to forget.”
― His Christmas Miracle Harem

Cunctantem flectere sermo coeperat. “His words had begun to sway him as he hesitated.”
Aeneid

1786 Days Without B III, Day 1227 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 170 ~Braxton, Virgil, Christmas Tails~

WillLeave a comment

Most Holidays require: MONEY, emotion/reason, and family. Un, no money. With Christmas or any other “happy” holiday, again, I’m broke and not very religious. B’s gone, and V and I feel a certain way about family. Braxton, Virgil, Christmas Tails

Thursday, December 18, 2025

Journey 170 ~Braxton, Virgil, Christmas Tails~

1782 Days Without B III, Day 1223 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? Me? This should be me getting ready for Christmas: haircut, groceries, and the food truck.

If we’re only counting Christmas, I owe you five and Virgil four, for 2021-2025 and 2022-2025, respectively. We were never a “true” Christmas household. And you ain’t Lady Sophia, B.

Still, I felt like we should talk about Christmas and share a few stories. Hell, isn’t Christmas a “religious” holiday? A Christian holiday. The only reason I’m not an atheist is because of you, Braxton. “All Dogs Go To Heaven,” indeed. I absolutely refuse to believe that a soul like yours and “Someday” your brother’s vanishes. I’m going to Hell.

But before my trip into the 9th Circle “Treachery,” how did we spend Christmas, hmm?
Watching the Santa Tracker. A decent breakfast of pancakes. I could stay here with you because of your grandparents, ha.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Your grandparents, my Olds. Comedy comes in threes, right? I talked about being an atheist. So after I said, “Christmas can eff off,” your grandma bought me Pokémon Stadium for the N64. I was way too old for it, but it was another obsession. Misty…

Anyway, it was your grandma’s way of saying she understood my new beliefs, B III. Speaking of the N64, the second thing is I found it in the closet, took it out of the box, and played Mario Kart 64 for hours. I repackaged everything. And put it back. Seriously…

Lastly, your grandad yelled at me one Christmas, and your grandma, his always-and-forever apologist, did just that. What your granddad isn’t a Nazi. No politics today, but FDT! Eff MAGA!

But what about this time next week, Christmas? There is a story I wish I could tell you and your brother. Sigh… M Anime, you know, she was supposed to be you and Virgil’s stepmom. I don’t think your brother would be pleased, but anyway. Can you imagine if she were here for Christmas? Being with her on Christmas Eve or the 23rd, because that woman was as freaky as I was. I know Braxton, eww! I’d introduce her to everyone…

Seriously, if I gave her what she wants… A child. It would be close to Emergence Day, Little B. “Gee Whiz, It’s Christmas,” anywhere but here, B. “There is no love here, and there is no pain,” “Just Another,” blah. Braxton, Virgil, Christmas Tails

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad

Journey 168 ~Braxton’s Voice A V8~

WillLeave a comment

If I hear one more bad word… It better be me with a pretty lady, or in an erotica. Maybe the orange douche gets his “ticket punched.” And his Cabinet stars on “The Running Man.” What can I say, I like Stephen King? That’s nice. “Braxton’s Voice A V8”

Tuesday, December 16, 2025

Journey 168 ~Braxton’s Voice A V8~

Dear Future Wife,
You know that I love you, right? A lot more than some car or healthy drinks. What about Ma or my boys?

Happy Birthday to my Ma. I need to text her or something along those lines today. And as far as my boys? B’s quiet… Still in his box or playing on the Rainbow Bridge… Playing.

Honestly, knowing my firstborn son, he’s gobbling up vittles like an Amsterdam whore sucks dicks. Eww, seriously? Sorry, my love, I shouldn’t be reading Eric Vall on or near Christmas. Not that O. L. Tyme’s “His Christmas Miracle Harem” is helping. And it’s been three days, so I’m hot and horn as all Hell. I should just stay in bed with you. But that’s where Virgil is right now. Little 2-V, “I picture you in the sun, wondering what went wrong.” Am I talking to you or him? Don’t know…

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

And it’s like I’m not even speaking at all. To sing yet another song, I think I used to have a voice. Now I never make a sound.” If you’re keeping score, that’s “Every Day Is Exactly the Same” by NIN and Joseph Arthur’s “In The Sun.” It’s what I wish I could say… Well.

Sunday, August 24, 2025. Spill it out like “And I love you, I love you, I love you. Like never before.” But I’m no “Songbird.” And I’m definitely not Naya Rivera, may she rest in peace. See, I’m a lot nicer than the orange turd, MAGA’s leader, head Cracker Hat.

Always and forever FDT! And the naughty things I would like to do with Naya, 2-B, M Anime, and you…

I should shut the eff up. And as effed up as it seems, I wish I could go back to those days when Braxton first passed away. The silence when I didn’t give a damn about anything or anyone. The things I shouldn’t tell you. So I should be eating. Or on my knees… Prayer.

Nope. Even if you were Kesha, I’m not “Praying.” More like eating. Such a pervert.

Seriously, love, everything is too loud. Especially the voices in my head. And am I still thinking about some STUPID mobile game? Whiteout Survival? Then again, I’m still playing it. And there are so many things I should be doing. I “Can’t Keep Loving You (From A Distance). Love Is Louder! Braxton’s Voice A V8

1780 Days Without B III, Day 1221 of Virgil’s Arrival

B.L.M. Braxton’s Life Matters,
Will

Journey 167 ~Braxton, Virgil, Be Quiet~

WillLeave a comment

When Braxton “passed,” the silence nearly destroyed me. Now I never leave the house without AirPods. Today, Hell, most days, the phone is my enemy… Did I miss work? Am I in trouble? Was I kicked out of the alliance? Poor V? Braxton, Virgil, Be Quiet.

Monday, December 15, 2025

Journey 167 ~Braxton, Virgil, Be Quiet~

Hey Dad,
It’s Me, Baby B… But are you, You? No, shut it, B? Or shut your pie hole. Shut your piss. “Leave Me Alone?”

Not even a Michael Jackson classic is going to help today. And Virgil? My little brother is asleep in his bed. Plus, what would he say? What can I say? That’s the point, isn’t it?

Daddy, imagine you have come back from “The Bad Place.” I’m an old man, so we didn’t go out for a walk, but we shared a burger and fries. Then you crawl into bed, and I take my place at the foot of it on the corner to watch the door. Hours later, “I’m Still Here.” This is far from a “Treasure Planet,” but I am my father’s son. The furry man that you raised.

So breathe, father. You’re not STUPID. What happened on Sunday that still has you sad?

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly, The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

No excuses, “Forty-One” (cue Ben-Hur galley drums). Okay, so yesterday Virgil “chose” to puke in his potty spot rather than the carpet… Way to go, little bro. Anyway, to make sure he didn’t eat it, eww! You started cleaning the spot. Humans and glow boxes.

Meanwhile, on the little glow box you’re always holding, you were playing “Whiteout Survival.” You were intense, Daddy. But you made a mistake and got a lot of messages from “The Yayhoos” you were playing with. “Baby, I Love You,” just leave me the eff alone? That’s what you would say to M Anime if she were there because you’re humiliated. Well, the rest of the night you’ve been losing things on that little glow box game, and you’ve been sad and scared ever since.

Simply put, you were too busy helping your son to read their instructions, so spamming?

So on one paw, my pa, you don’t want to make a move without someone SPECIFICALLY giving you the instructions. Like “Auidoslave” saying, singing, showing what it means to ask others, “Show Me How to Live,” this existence. On the other paw. You enter “The Long Walk”; you become “The Running Man” because you know what to do, my father.

SURVIVE. And on those two paws, Virgil and I. Daddy, you’ll walk, run, fly after.

Honestly, though, if a game makes you feel like this… Like Carrie, “They’re All Gonna Laugh At You… You might not see anyone this week, but people, Virgil, even yourself.

SILENCE, Braxton, Virgil, Be Quiet.

“So, I just said fuck it all and gave up on life,”
Snowed in with Grumpy (Silver Mountain), Olivia Noble

Omnia tuta silent. “All things are safely silent.”
― Aeneid

1779 Days Without B III, Day 1220 of Virgil’s Arrival

Always and Forever,
Your Son

Journey 163 ~To B Bugged Virgil~

WillLeave a comment

Would you call it courageous that I choose to stay here with Virgil and face the termite guy’s judgment rather than waste money at the movies, or let my father handle it? Is it crazy to think he’d bug the house? Hasn’t he ha-ha? “To B Bugged Virgil.”

Thursday, December 11, 2025

Journey 163 ~To B Bugged Virgil~

1775 Days Without B III, Day 1216 of Virgil’s Arrival

Just Me, Baby B,
Did you have a good day? The best part of my day, as it stands, I heard from your Favorite Girl.

It’s always nice to know that someone is wondering whether you’re dead or alive, B.

Honestly, that’s a short list: you, your Favorite Girl, and Virgil eventually… He doesn’t sit on my head as you did. But I still could barely breathe this morning. I know you don’t like me saying that. But I did feel sick this morning. And death’s right up there with my dollars and my d*ck. I know Braxton, Eww! You should see the videos of women calling their men Daddy in front of their kids. I’ve been watching far too many, if you ask me.

I woke up around one in the morning, having accomplished nothing. And now it’s ten-thirty and… Well, I’m sure you know what has me buggin’.

“I fill my lungs with fear and I Exhale!”
It’s My Turn to Fly The Urge ‧ 2000 (Titan A.E.)

Effing Termite guy will be here around one this afternoon, your grandpa said. Or four. “It Doesn’t Matter.” I don’t have “The Rock’s” money or even Wyclef Jean’s. I’m effed.

And that is one of the things that bugs me the most, B III. I know I’m effed. Hell, me and 2-V are effed, and there is nothing I can do about it. Paranoia, Anxiety, and Humiliation are feasting on my brain. Did I really just say that? Mind, body, and soul B III. Heart…

I’m not MAGA! FDT! I’m not even a Planeteer… Captain Planet? Before your time, B.

Only I know I still have somewhat of a heart because I still care about SOME people and your puppy little brother. Virgil’s five ha-ha.

But today I might not make it past forty-one… (Cue Ben-Hur galley drums). What, you thought I had forgotten just because I’ve been on a Stephen King kick these days?

Honestly, every day feels like “The Long Walk,” and I am “The Running Man,” however.

Where you gonna go, where you gonna run, where you gonna hide? Nowhere… ’cause there’s no one like you left
Carol Malone… Body Snatchers (1993)

That’s right, this is you and Virgil’s home, my son. And I’m sorry I have failed you all over again. The backyard fence has two holes. The shed door is chewed to Hell. Don’t ask me about under the house. The floor you once ran on is a mess: the baseboards, paint job, everything. But the wanna be Orkin man, my Old Man, and others feel like the invaders, an infestation. M Anime wouldn’t live here. To B Bugged Virgil

“It feels like I’m dying. I’m so scared all the time.” ― Mara, Spontaneous (2020)

Always and Forever,
Your Dad